~And...we cut to the ring once again as we wrap up the first half of the annual awards~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen...it is now time to reveal who will take home the award for OOC MEMBER OF THE YEAR
~The fans are confused...what the fuck is an OOC? Outstandingly Offensive Commentator? If so, it's gotta be Hood, right?~
Hood: You damn right.
Belvedere: The nominees for OOC Member of the Year are...Dylan Thomas, Thaddeus Duke, Xavier Lux, Peter Vaughn, and Mike Zybala....and the, winner for OOC Member of the Year is...
~Massive ovation...nobody deserves it more~
Also sexiest pic base. In my humble opinion.
Tony the Spider, working hard to get in the Outsiders HoF.
Post by Marcus Welsh on Dec 17, 2021 21:28:34 GMT -5
~Outcast snaps at Erin's gift, ordering it sent his way. The women can't grab it...he'd fall to the floor. So, Tony the Spider struts into view~
Tony: Hahahaha
~He kick slides the gift toward the ropes. Outcast pulls it under the bottom rope and tears all the pretty wrapping apart to find...AN EXPENSIVE BOTTLE OF WHISKEY~
Outcast: Alright!
~He reaches for the top~
Marcus Welsh: Outcast, hold on...that's not yours yet, somebody may choose to steal it from...
~Outcast rips the cap off~
Marcus Welsh: Son of a bitch!
~Outcast throws a generous portion back, keeping his drunken state alive and well~
Marcus Welsh: *sigh* Alright, Erin...you're up. And remember, everyone...you can take a gift that hasn't been selected or you can STEAL one that has.
Last Edit: Dec 17, 2021 21:29:16 GMT -5 by Marcus Welsh
Post by Erin Gordon on Dec 17, 2021 21:31:46 GMT -5
The Oncoming Storm shrugs at the way Outcast gets into the whiskey--it's meant to be drank, after all. Erin emerges from the corner and heads right for... the elephant. Climbing over the top rope, she clamors her way onto the elephant's back, giving him a bit of a pat.
"...ain't anyone else that can actually take care of him. Reckon he'll like the barn near the house just fine."
Post by Marcus Welsh on Dec 17, 2021 21:47:12 GMT -5
~Curt looks down at the tiny bag in his arms...should he keep it? Or let it go?~
Curt Canon: I want to keep it. But in my heart I know I need to let it go.
~Curt drops the bag in the center of the ring, next to most of the other gifts. He looks around~
Curt Canon: An elephant. Gregory. I had a pet monkey...his name was Checkers.
~Curt starts to break down...but Welsh pats him on the back~
Marcus Welsh: Pull it together, man. You're a Hall of Famer for fuck's sake.
~Curt lashes out~
Curt Canon: You sent me into the Amazon! Had you not sent me into he Amazon he'd still be alive!
~Welsh backs away~
Curt Canon: Maybe it was the American lifestyle that killed him. Maybe it was too much television. Maybe it was cancel culture. Maybe it was the ten high lifes he drank a day. I'm no doctor...so we'll never know. All I know is that I'm sad he's gone.
~Curt lowers his head~
Marcus Welsh: Curt, buddy. You gotta pick a gift.
~Curt perks up~
Curt: Oh. Okay.
~He heads for the big box Zybala brought. He rips it open and pulls out...a smaller box! He rips that one open and pulls out...a smaller box! He rips that one open and pulls out...A SMALLER BOX. He rips that open and pulls out a SMALLER BOX! This goes on and on until he holds a box the size of a sugar packet in his hand~
Marcus Welsh: Mike, I wanna be mad...but the dedication is impressive.
~Curt opens it up, carefully and removes a tiny sheet of paper folded way too many times. He unfolds it to find...four all expenses paid for tickets to Exile Island Hotel Resort and NOW Casino!~
Marcus Welsh: Damn that's actually...that's actually pretty sweet!
~Curt celebrates~
Marcus Welsh: Hey, I hear there are monkeys on exile island, perhaps you could...
~Curt stares at Welsh. The fans boo. TOO SOON, MARCUS~
Marcus Welsh: Right. Nevermind. Okay, Dylan Thomas...you're up next.
Post by Marcus Welsh on Dec 17, 2021 21:53:14 GMT -5
~Dylan enters the ring. He looks at the gifts. He eyes Gregory...SHOULD HE TAKE GREGORY BACK? He looks at Curt's tiny bag...what the hell is in there, anyway? He then eyes Tony's fanny pack~
Dylan Thomas: No way.
~He turns and grabs Strader's gift, opening it up. He doesn't figure it out at first, so he reads the label~
Dylan Thomas: A Limited Edition Vinyl Press of “Party All The Time” by Eddie Murphy...hmm.
~He thinks~
Dylan Thomas: Well, if this is close the to same quality as the first two Beverly Hills Cop films, I'll enjoy it. Also, Veronica...I look forward to our match at Access Denied.
~Dylan holds onto his gift~
Marcus Welsh: Very respectful. FINALLY. Okay, since things are running so smoothly how about we get...
~Welsh looks at who's next. He looks at Tony~
Marcus Welsh: Fuck me. Tony, you're up...every gift is available...you can steal one that's been taken...grab one that hasn't been chosen...or keep whatever the hell is in your stupid fanny pack. Have at it.
Post by Marcus Welsh on Dec 17, 2021 22:05:01 GMT -5
~Welsh throws his arms in the air~
Marcus Welsh: And we have our first steal, folks! Tony has stolen Curt's vacation to Exile Island...that gift is now LOCKED. Tony, it's yours. Congratulation. Curt...I'm sorry, but you've got to find a new gift.
~Curt lowers his head and slumps his shoulders~
Fans: Awww...poor CURT
~Curt, again, looks Gregory's way. Does he want a new pet? A new animal to pal around with? He thinks. Erin leans forward, anxious~
Marcus Welsh: Will Curt go for Gregory the Elephant?
~Curt spins around and points at Tony's fanny pack~
Tony: ahahahaha
~Tony slowly and seductively unzips his fanny pack, while swiveling his hips~
Curt Canon: Let's see it.
Marcus Welsh: WHOA Define 'it', please. We don't want any indecent exposure during our wholesome Christmas Party.
~Strader holds up her dildo as if to say 'too late'~
Tony: Hahahahahaha
~Tony points inside his fanny pack~
Marcus Welsh: I've been around him enough to pick up on his language...a bit. He says in order to get it...you must reach in there.
~Curt's hands have found themselves in way dirtier places...so he dives right in and digs around. He tosses a few cheetos out before removing...A THOUSAND DOLLARS~
Fans: Woo!!!
Marcus Welsh: I don't know what's crazier...the fact you had no problem diving in there or that Tony had a thousand bucks to give. Geez, Curt, with that you could buy yourself a new...
~Canon turns around, furious~
Curt Canon: DON'T YOU SAY IT
Marcus Welsh: A brand new...theme song!
Curt Canon: No. Trust Company forever.
Marcus Welsh: Fine. Okay...so we're up to our next picker...and that is...of course...the one...the only...Mike Zybala.
...Erin narrows her eyes at Zybala. She's floored him before with the Nor'Easter, and she'll do it again.
~Zybala looks down at the lone gift that hasn't been chosen...Curt's tiny bag. He then looks at Gregory...his eyes meet Erin's~
Marcus Welsh: Alright, let's just relax. Mike...seriously, what are you gonna do with an elephant? You can barely take care of yourself. Just take Curt's bag and we can call it a night...I bet there are diamonds in there!
Post by Marcus Welsh on Dec 17, 2021 22:18:16 GMT -5
~Zybala walks up to Gregory and pets him on the trunk~
Zybala: Erin. I'm sorry but...it's an elephant. I've got to take it.
~The crowd gasps with shock~
Marcus Welsh: Mike? Seriously? Where are you going to keep it?
~Zybala pats Gregory on the head~
Zybala: For starters, in my heart.
Marcus Welsh: That's not a real place...or, well, you know what I mean!
~Erin is visibly disappointed. She hops off Gregory and onto the apron...she may not like it, but she's going to abide by the rules. Zybala yells out...he jumps onto the top rope, springboards off, somersaults in the air, and lands on Gregory's back. He turns around, smiling. Erin meets Welsh in the center of the ring~
Marcus Welsh: I'm sorry, Erin. I really wanted you to have that elephant. So...you can steal or you can take Curt's bag.
~Erin reaches and grabs Curt's bag~
Marcus Welsh: Alright, let's all see what's inside.
~Erin looks at Curt. Curt looks at Erin. Welsh looks at Curt. Curt looks at Welsh. Erin opens the bag~
Post by Erin Gordon on Dec 17, 2021 22:22:10 GMT -5
There's a bit of a glare in Zybala's direction--good-natured, though likely Zybala's the only one that'd know it--before she's opening the bag and peering in, brow furrowing as she delicately reaches a finger in to confirm that it's what she thinks it is. One careful touch later and she's looking at Canon.