: We cut to outside of Marcus Welsh's office. Mike Zybala is standing there, looking as if he's nervous. He takes a deep calming breath and knocks on the door. He opens it to see Welsh busy at work on his computer. Welsh hears the knock and the door opening and looks up. He's about to tell Zybala off, but notices the worried look on his face.:
Post by Marcus Welsh on Dec 2, 2021 12:54:56 GMT -5
Smith: And we're back!
Hood: What's next? Or, should I say...WHO'S NEXT?
Smith: Hmm
Hood: What the FUCK is this?
~A very annoying looking guy steps out from behind the curtain. He makes his way down the ramp. He ignores all the men. When he sees a woman, he bows. He reaches the ring and walks up the steps, entering through the ropes~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen...please welcome...TWITTER MAN
Smith: Twitter Man?
Hood: I thought we purged these assholes.
Smith: *shrugs*
~Twitter Man grabs the mic~
Twitter Man: Hello OCW...or should I say OCMisogyny!!
~The thinks it's totally clever and laughs. In reality, it's fuckin lame~
Post by Marcus Welsh on Dec 2, 2021 13:07:59 GMT -5
~The crowd goes wild. CHAD VARGAS makes his way down the ramp. Twitter Man turns, eyes wide...his mouth agape. Vargas reaches the bottom of the ramp and hops onto the apron. The fans at ringside jump and down with excitement~
Smith: It’s OCW Hall of Famer Chad Vargas!
Hood: Geezus. Twitter Man...you’d better run.
~Vargas steps into the ring. Twitter Man tries to act tough...even though we visibly see piss running down his leg~
Twitter Man: Sir! SIR. I am a citizen of the world and I have rights. I have the right to stand up for what I believe in and you are not allowed to…
~Vargas has heard enough. He boots the guy in the gut...he drops the mic. Chad yanks him up, hooks him and drops him to the mat with THE STROKE! Vargas covers the dude. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….CHAD VARGAS
Smith: And Twitter Man has been silenced!
Hood: YES
~Vargas pops back to his feet. He stomps the ever loving shit out of Twitter Man. He motions for some fans to hop the railing and enter the ring...they don’t hesitate. Soon, dozens of fans are stomping on Twitter Man. Vargas grabs the mic~
Chad Vargas: Curt. I look forward to our contest on Sunday. It’s great to be back in OCW!
~Vargas drops the mic and resumes stomping on Twitter Man~
Smith: Chad Vargas is as abrasive as ever.
Hood: And we love it!
Smith: He’s set to face Curt Canon on Sunday in a contest many are referring to as an ‘exhibition’.
Hood: I’m not sure what that means but given it’s got Vargas AND Canon involved...I’m up for it!
Smith: Indeed! PPV week rolls on, fans! So, stick around!
Last Edit: Dec 2, 2021 13:08:25 GMT -5 by Marcus Welsh
Post by Marcus Welsh on Dec 2, 2021 14:21:33 GMT -5
Smith: OF COURSE!
Hood: Hm
Smith: Ed wasn’t your guess?
Hood: My guess is always Scott Syren. But, sure, Ed can maybe do this.
~Ed Houston bursts through the curtain to a HUGE ovation! The Rocketman is as beloved as ever. He pauses, staring down the ramp at the ring right into the soulless eyes of AI. Ed’s mission is clear...he charges down the ramp and slides into the ring under the bottom rope. He pops to his feet and hops onto the nearest middle buckle, playing to the crowd~
Belvedere: And, its opponent...from Miami, Florida...he is a former Craze and Paradigm Champion. He is...Ed Houston!!!
~Houston hops off the apron and spins around, facing AI. Belvedere exits. Scruff calls for the bell. It rings~
Smith: And here we go!
Hood: Who created this AI thing?
Smith: The Lab of Genocide, Hood. Weren’t you paying attention?
Hood: I never pay attention to intros. Intros are lame.
~Houston wastes no time...he throws a superkick at AI. But, AI dodges it, easily. Ed chases after AI...but AI levitates over the ring, just out of Ed’s reach. Houston stops, hands on his hips...the hell does he have to do?~
Smith: All these squash matches and Ed gets literal AI.
Hood: I bet NASA is behind this.
~AI lands in front of a perplexed Ed. It does a quick scan of Ed’s body. It begins to compute~
AI: Star of Meteor
~It says in a very robotic tone. Ed nods~
AI: Watching now.
Smith: It appears as though the AI is going to watch Meteor.
Hood: Shit, that’s gonna take
AI: Finished.
Hood: Nevermind.
~Houston extends his arms and nods his head, “Well, what did you think?”~
AI: Terrible.
~The fans boo. Houston scoffs and mentions how much it grossed~
AI: Confirming profits.
~The AI looks up the gross...it begins to tremble~
AI: What? This….this does not compute…
~The ‘quality' of the film alongside the money it made is completely erroneous to the AI machine. It makes NO sense. The AI shakes...it begins to smoke. Ed sees an opportunity...he heads for the ropes...he climbs through them...he jumps up onto the top, springboards off and takes AI down with METEORA!!! AI is on the mat...sparks and smoke flying. Houston hurries for the nearest corner~
Smith: AI is down!
Hood: I guess the creative minds behind that AI machine didn’t realize that shitty movies make a lot of money.
Smith: It doesn’t make sense...but it’s true.
~Houston leaps off the top rope with BLASTOFF!!! It connects! The fans go wild! Houston makes the cover...Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...ED HOUSTON!!!
Smith: Houston has defeated AI!
Hood: The Rocketman prevails!
Smith: And now...he turns his attention toward Death March THIS Sunday when he’ll be trapped inside the Sub Zero Box. His mission? Outlast BRIM, TLS, and Dylan Thomas so he can recapture his Craze Title.
: We cut to outside of Marcus Welsh's office. Mike Zybala is standing there, looking as if he's nervous. He takes a deep calming breath and knocks on the door. He opens it to see Welsh busy at work on his computer. Welsh hears the knock and the door opening and looks up. He's about to tell Zybala off, but notices the worried look on his face.:
Post by Marcus Welsh on Dec 2, 2021 17:50:56 GMT -5
Smith: And we're back!
Hood: Can't wait to see who's next
Smith: Our last match saw Ed Houston single handily defeat AI...then Craze Champion Dylan Thomas appeared on stage, staring him down.
Hood: I bet if Dylan Thomas joined NASA they'd have never kicked him out. In fact, I bet we'd have hotels on the MOON if Thomas were involved with the space program.
Smith: You are allowed to think whatever you want.
Hood: Fuckin right
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen...the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Fans: WO-WO-WO-WON FALL!
Belvedere: Introducing first...
~The unique and mysterious ARACHNE crawls out from behind the curtain and down the ramp toward the ring. Fans shriek, trying to stay away from him. He turns his head and hisses at a few fans, sending one male fainting to the ground~
Smith: AHHH
Hood: Holy shit, Arachne is back!
Smith: He is most famous for being aligned with Plethora the Perilous...a 600lb cloaked man with the desire to murder people via a scythe.
Hood: I remember.
Smith: Some people speculated Plethora was, in fact, Bifford.
Hood: I mean...
~Arachne crawls up the stairs and into the ring. He crawls around the ring. Belvedere does his best to avoid the weird competitor~
Belvedere: And, his opponent...
Smith: Who has the guts to face Arachne?
Hood: Well, technically all our wrestlers have guts, Smith.
Post by Marcus Welsh on Dec 2, 2021 18:25:36 GMT -5
Smith: Oh boy.
Hood: I always found this to be one of the more interesting entrance song choices.
Smith: An interesting song for an interesting competitor.
~TLS makes his way from behind the curtain. Instantly he turns to the crowd and spots a chubby man wearing a ‘PURPLE VIP’ shirt in the crowd, making a whole mess out of a cup of ice cream. TLS locks his eyes on the man and keeps a very close, intense stare on the man as he makes his way down the ramp~
Smith: TLS is eyeing that fan
Hood: He’ll be watching him.
Smith: Indeed
Belvedere: From Parts Unknown...he is a former OCW Ascension Champion...he is...TLS!!
~The man looks back at TLS...he drops his ice cream. He begins to sweat. TLS continues staring at him as he reaches the ringside area. He walks up the steps, continuing to stare at the man. The man’s chin quivers...his base becomes unstable~
Smith: I think that fan is beginning to fear for his safety.
Hood: You get stared at THAT HARD...you know some shit is about to go down.
Smith: I didn’t know we still sold Purple VIP shirts.
Hood: This fuckin place? C’mon, man. If it’s back there, we’re selling it. Shit, I think I saw a box of Melinda Rhodes tampons at one of the concession stands.
Smith: Okay, that’s too much information.
Hood: What? Not like I bought them.
~TLS enters the ring, keeping his stare on the fan. The fan finally turns and runs through the crowd, up the stairs and through the exit, leaving the show. TLS sighs and turns, facing Arachne, who remains on all fours, crawling around the ring. Belvedere exits. Scruff signals for the bell. It rings~
Smith: And here we go!
Hood: I think this might have been a legit match at one point, Smith.
Smith: What do you mean...this IS a legit match, Hood!
Hood: Right.
~TLS hops out of the ring real fast and he grabs something from underneath. It appears to be some sort of pesticide. He rolls into the ring and pops back to his feet. Arachne crawls up to him and hisses really loud. TLS points the pesticide bottle at him and squirts the liquid into Arachne’s eyes. Arachne screams and flips over onto his back, writhing atop the mat~
Smith: Oh my!
Hood: Well, that’s how you deal with infestation, Smith.
Smith: I wouldn’t know.
Hood: Bullshit...you only spent a thousand hours in Alice Knight’s RV. And you can’t sit there with a straight face and tell me that shit wasn’t crippled with infestation.
Smith: No comment.
~TLS jump on top of Arachne and hooks both legs. Arachne isn’t moving...his limps have gone stiff. Scruff slides in~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...TLS!!!
Smith: TLS exterminates Arachne!
~TLS stands and steps through the ropes. He looks around the arena and spots a fan wearing a “LUKAS EMERY AXE THROWING CHAMPION” shirt. He begins to stare at the fan. The fan’s eyes widen~
Smith: And he’s found another victim.
Hood: You think this staring will work in that place called Canada?
Smith: I’d imagine so. They are human, after all.
Hood: Are they, though?
Smith: TLS victorious in his return! He’ll face Dylan Thomas, BRIM, and Ed Houston THIS Sunday at Death March for the Craze Title! Stick around as PPV week continues!
Post by Marcus Welsh on Dec 3, 2021 18:44:03 GMT -5
Smith: Annnnd we’re back...as Pay Per View week continues!
Hood: What’s next?
Smith: I’m glad you asked.
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen...the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Fans: ONE FUGGIN FALL
Belvedere: Introducing first…
Smith: There he is!
Hood: Former GM of Monday Night Equality and current (?) head of female talent Sugar Valentine!
Smith: He’s been mentioned a lot during the 24/7 madness.
~Sugar steps through the curtain and does his signature walk to the ring. He eyes some ‘talent’ at ringside, handing them his card. They blush and smile...FUTURE OCW ROSTER MEMBER, MAYBE. Sugar hustles up the steps and shimmies into the ring. He struts around the ring~
Belvedere: From the Boulevard of Bitches...Sugar Valentine!
~The fans go wild~
Smith: Sugar getting a strong ovation here in the OCW Arena!
: Mike Zybala comes running out from behind the curtain! He runs down the ramp as he yells "DIBS!" over and over. He slides under the ropes and into the ring. Zybala hops to his feet and yells at the ref to ring the bell before anyone else comes out to take this match. :
Post by Marcus Welsh on Dec 3, 2021 20:44:42 GMT -5
~The crowd rises to their feet, going wild. Dylan Thomas, the OCW Craze Champion steps through the curtain looking proud and strong as ever~
Smith: There he is! One of two current champions in OCW!
Hood: Perfection Personified back again!
Smith: And he’s gonna get his hands on SUGAR
~Valentine shakes his head. Seriously? Like what has this guy done to earn the ire and beatings of every OCW wrestler? Dylan Thomas marches down the ramp, flashing the Craze Title around his waist. He high fives some of the more eager fans along the way~
Belvedere: From Hollywood, California...standing 6’2 and weighing in at 225lbs...he is the OCW Craze Champion...he is...Dylan Thomas!!!!
~Thomas hustles up the steps and leaps over the top rope, into the ring. He spins around, for effect...the fans go wild. He rips his title off and hoists it high in the air~
Smith: Dylan Thomas looks ready for combat!
Hood: He’d better be. That match on Sunday is NO JOKE
~Suddenly, Sugar rushes forward, whacking Thomas in the back with his cane!! Thomas stumbles forward, dropping his belt. The fans boo. Belvedere exits. Scruff calls for the bell. It sounds~
Smith: Oh no!
Hood: Sugar’s going to pull off the huge upset!
~Sugar grabs Dylan by the arm and whips him into the ropes...but Thomas reverses! He hoists a knee up into Sugar’s gut, doubling Sugar over!! He smacks Sugar with a forearm uppercut, straightening Mr. Valentine out. Dylan then delivers a slap the the must of Sugar!!! Valentine is staggered. Thomas jumps up and delivers the ‘Perfect Finisher’!!!! Sugar is down! Dylan goes for the pin. Scruff counts~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner...the OCW Craze Champion...DYLAN THOMAS!!!!
~Thomas pops to his feet, celebrating the win~
Smith: Thomas appears sharp and ready to go!
Hood: Well, to be fair...it was Sugar Valentine.
~Valentine is kicked out of the ring by Dylan. Dylan snags his Craze Title and looks into the belt plate, nodding with a smile~
Smith: Thomas admiring his belt.
Hood: As he should...that shit’s hard to win.
~The fans chant for their Craze Champion. He nods and hoists the title up...as he does...he’s suddenly BLASTED from behind by BRIM!!! Dylan tumbles forward, dropping the Craze Title. The fans begin to boo~
Smith: It’s BRIM!
Hood: I can see that.
Smith: He’s attacking Dylan Thomas.
Hood: Again. I have eyes.
~BRIM stomps on Dylan, keeping the Craze Champion down. Finished, he turns and grabs the Title...he picks it up and looks into it~
Smith: BRIM imagining himself as the Craze Champion.
Hood: I can definitely see that happening
~The crowd goes wild! BRIM turns...Ed Houston sprints down the ramp~
Smith: And here comes THE ROCKET MAN!
Hood: Damnit, Ed.
~Houston hops onto the apron. The fans are white hot...he leaps up and springboards off the top, taking BRIM down with METEORA!!!! BRIM is down!! Houston snags the Craze Title and takes his turn to gaze into the enchanting metallic reflection~
Smith: Ed’s a two time Craze Champion. Is he set for a three-peat?
Hood: I doubt it. Josie Barnes ain’t walking through that door.
Smith: Something we’re all thankful for.
~Dylan is back up...he rips the title from Ed. Houston responds with a punch. Thomas punches back. The title is dropped. BRIM pops back to his feet. He spins both men around and punches them...they punch back. An all-out brawl is taking place inside the ring~
Smith: BRIM, Ed, and Dylan are going at it!
Hood: The hell is…
~On cue, TLS hops the barricade and reaches in, snagging the Craze Title. He leans against the barricade and stares at the belt while the other three men brawl inside the ring~
Smith: It’s broken down out here...we’re gonna need some security!
Hood: TLS taking the ‘work smarter, not harder’ route.
Smith: Dylan Thomas will be defending his Craze Title against Ed Houston, BRIM, and TLS at Death March! A match I cannot wait to see! We’re gonna get order restored and, once we do, we’ll be back!
: Zybala sadly stands in the corner watching this all go down as everyone ignores him. He is especially sad that everyone ignored his sacred rights of calling "dibs." He slowly and quietly plots his revenge. :