Goodie: I would have to check with my editor at the Weekly Earth, but I don't foresee a problem with covering even more news for your show.... Stop the presses! I think I see Mike Zybala! I could be the first to get this chicken wing scoop! MR. ZYBALA!! A MOMENT PLEASE!
: Goodie leaves Dylan and Allton to chase after someone who the camera sees only from the back. The person is roughly Zybala's build and has the same hair color, but that's all we glimpse before they turn a corner. :
: We cut to what is obviously a LIVE feed of Goodie Reporterson. He looks extremely excited. :
Goodie: Hello once again OCW fans! Goodie Reporterson here with breaking news. I have caught up with the one and only Mike Zybala! Mr. Zybala, thank you for taking the time for this.
: The scene doesn't pan, but cuts over to Mike Zybala! He is definitely wearing different clothes than Goodie. No, you didn't see him taking off glasses. He doesn't wear glasses like Goodie does. :
Zybala: You're welcome, Mr. Reporterson. I always make time for an esteemed member of the press such as yourself.
: Camera hard cuts back to Goodie. This process repeats when the two DIFFERENT men talk. :
Goodie: Oh, you're too kind. Now, we all know that you and Outcast will be facing each other this Sunday at Death March for the OCW World Championship. However, I have heard that you wish to issue a special challenge to Outcast before the pay-per-view?
Zybala: That is correct. You obviously saw the mass amounts of chicken wings in catering. I challenge Outcast to a chicken wing eating contest! The special conditions is that I can only use ranch dressing Well Outcast can only use bleu cheese!
Goodie: What are the stakes for this challenge?
Zybala: Pride! To show who has more fortitude! To prove that I am better than Outcast in more than just wrestling! That I can stomach that swill he calls a "proper dressing" and prove that eating Ranch will be a bigger challenge than facing him in the ring!
Goodie: You've heard it here folks! The challenge has been thrown down! Will Outcast accept or not? Hopefully we will get a response soon. Mr. Zybala, it's been a pleasure. Good luck this Sunday.
Zybala: Thank you, Goodie. You deserve a Pulitzer.
: There is a closeup of two hands shaking, which CLEARLY belong to Goodie and Zybala. We cut to whatever whoever posts next is doing. :
: Zybala walks into the catering area with a big smile on his face. He spots Allton and Dylan and walks over to them. :
Zybala: Morning gents! Good to see you for the first time today. Enjoying the chicken wings? Sorry none of them are baby sized, Allton.
: Zybala gives Allton a friendly nudge with his elbow and a wink. He is most likely referring to the large hotdog Allton recently bragged about eating. He playfully looks at Dylan. :
Zybala: Good thing I didn't challenge this guy to a eating contest, huh?
Post by Marcus Welsh on Nov 30, 2021 19:08:32 GMT -5
AHEM
~The camera zooms in on BELVEDERE. The fans go wild~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Fans: ONE FALL
Belvedere: Introducing first...
~The fans jump to their feet. They start to jam to the IMMORTAL sounds of the third most overused entrance theme in pro wrestling history. Enter Sandman blasts throughout the OCW arena as ZEUS steps through the curtain, playing the air guitar~
Belvedere: From Mount Olympus...he's a former OCW Tag Team Champion...he is the immortal...ZEUS
~Lightning bolts shoot from the arena ceiling, hitting the stage, creating a massive pyro explosion. The cheer! Zeus rocks his way down the ramp, playing air guitar with one hand, while high fiving fans with the other. He even manages to grope a few titties in the process. Zeus reaches the ring and rolls in under the bottom rope. He pops to his feet and hurries toward a nearby corner. He lowers his head before throwing both arms into the air...pyro shoots from the corners. The fans go wild~
Smith: Zeus is here, in the OCW Arena and he looks as 'immortal' as ever.
Hood: It's amazing what a badass song can do...can make even the world's biggest nerd seem KINDA cool.
Smith: I guess. Anyway, welcome to OCW 24/7, fans! This is the first of a series of matches we'll have for you this week as we lead into...DEATH MARCH
Hood: Huzzah!
~The music ends. Zeus hops off the second buckle...he turns around and paces, nervously...anxiously awaiting his opponenent~
Post by Marcus Welsh on Nov 30, 2021 19:27:33 GMT -5
~ “Cocky” by Kid Rock hits! Zeus is like “OH SHIT” as OCW’s original ICON, Lurrr marches through the curtain~
Belvedere: From Houston Texas...he is the original ICON of OCW...the first ever OCW Champion...the first ever Hall of Famer...he is...LURRR
~Lurrr heads down the ramp. The fans lose their shit. They lean over, trying to get a feel for greatness...but Lurrr manages to avoid their reach~
Smith: It’s Lurrr!
Hood: YES
Smith: He re-signed with the company the Wednesday after THE GREAT PURGE...but we haven’t seen him since.
Hood: Hey. Welsh said he was handing out free wins and, well, nobody likes a free win more than Lurrr.
Smith: True. But Zeus did look fired up. This might be tougher than expected.
Hood: Blahaha
~Lurrr reaches the ring. He hustles up the steps and enters through the ropes. Belvedere shakes the ICON’s hand, before exiting the ring. Scruff stands as the ref. The music dies out~
Fans: LURRR! LURRR! LURRR!
~The ICON cracks a smile. His focus turns toward Zeus. Zeus steps up saying, “So, we meet again, Lurrr.”~
Smith: Zeus and Lurrr were original members on the first ever OCW roster...back in 1999.
Hood: Yes. One went on to claim immortality...legit immortality. The other, well, snatched infamy.
~Lurrr extends a fist for a bump. Zeus reaches out and covers Lurrr’s fist with his hand. Lurrr gives him a ‘wtf’ look. Zeus pulls his hand away. Lurrr opens his fist for a shake. Zeus punches the middle of Lurrr’s hand with a fist. Again, Lurrr is like “the fuck is with this guy?”~
Smith: Zeus can’t get it right. Hand shake or fist bump? He’s off his game!
Hood: Yea, it’s gotta be tough down here on Earth. I hear on Mount Olympus they just exchange lightning bolts or something.
Smith: Sure.
~Zeus, embarrassed in front of his iconic colleague, opens his arms and steps forward for...A HUG! He wraps his arms around Lurrr for the biggest hug in OCW history. A few OCW fans are like “awww” whereas veteran OCW fans are like, “Ah man, he’s fucked up.”~
Smith: Zeus said forget the handshake and fist bump...he’s going in for the hug!
Hood: A fatal mistake.
~Lurrr shoves Zeus off him. Zeus stumbles a few feet back. Lurrr steps forward and he nearly takes Zeus’ head off with THE WAKE UP CALL!!! Zeus flips backwards, landing on his font side, atop the mat! The fans go wild! Lurrr kicks Zeus over and places a boot atop the chest of the unconscious ‘god’. Scruff slides in with the count~
1!
2!
3!!!!
~The bell rings~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….LURRR
~The fans erupt. Chants of “LURRR” and “OCW” fill the famed arena~
Smith: Lurrr kicks the week off with a win over ZEUS
Hood: Kick being the appropriate term.
Smith: His superkick...what he calls ‘The Wake Up Call’ looks better than ever.
Hood: Way better than Zybala’s SUPERKICK...guy didn’t even give it another name. He just capitalized the entire word.
Smith: Yea, well, he’s one SUPERKICK away from becoming OCW Champion on Sunday.
Hood: AHHH
~Lurrr bumps fist with Scruff. He looks into the camera and speaks~
Lurrr: Pay Per View week, baby! OCW is alive and well! The Proud and The Strong. No room for insecure bitches. NO SIR
~Lurrr’s theme song fires up as he exits the ring~
Smith: Stick around, folks! This is just the start...the OCW stars will ALL be making their presence felt inside that ring throughout the week!
Post by Marcus Welsh on Nov 30, 2021 20:29:17 GMT -5
Smith: And we're back!
Hood: Who we got next? We saw Zeus...will the fiery HADES make an appearance?
Smith: Probably. The job squad only runs so deep, Hood.
Hood: Bring em on!
Smith: Let's head down to Belvedere to find out who's next!
~We cut to the ring. A promo for DEATH MARCH has just ended. Fans are busy purchasing tickets for the event...until Belvedere clears his beautiful throat~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen...the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL
Fans: UNO FALL!
Belvedere: Sure.
~Huge pop~
Smith: It's Jack Puffer!
Hood: The Good Detective!
Belvedere: From Aurora Illinois...he is THE GOOD DETECTIVE...he is...JACK PUFFER!!
~Jack Puffer appears on stage with a bright white circle behind him. He slowly turns his head and raises an eyebrow. The arena lights up and he makes his way down the ramp! The fans go wild for the GOOD DETECTIVE. He places his hand over his brow and searches throughout the crowd for answers to every open case~
Smith: Jack Puffer is still investigating THE MURDER CRUISE. Still waiting on a conclusion from that.
Hood: I'm sure we'll get one...before 2030.
Smith: One can only hope.
~Puffer marches up the steps and enters through the ropes. He kindly takes Belvedere's mic~
Jack Puffer: Hello OCW!
Fans: HELLO JACK
~Puffer smiles~
Jack Puffer: I just want you all to know that THE MURDER CRUISE has been solved. A conclusion is coming your way very shortly. Rest assured that when Jack Puffer is on the case...that case always gets CLOSED.
~The fans yell with glee~
Jack Puffer: And now, bring on my damn opponent. I'm ready to rise to the top of OCW!!