Post by Max Rotten on Jan 4, 2023 9:46:08 GMT -5
We open to inside an arcade where Gilbert and Max Rotten are ‘bonding’. Gilbert is on his favourite video game and Max is growing restless. He’s watching Gilbert play his game but as it’s fake violence and not real, Max is growing bored.
Max: Gilbert, why the fuck have you brought me to a goddamn video game arcade?! Let’s get violent!
Gilbert: I-in a moment, Max. But look at how realistic the blood in this game is! It’s so red….a-and….well, bloody.
Max rolls his eyes.
Max: Yeah… you know what’s even more realistic?! Blood!!! Real, live, actual BLOOD!!
Gilbert: Ssh! I-I’m busy.
Gilbert goes back to playing his video game and Max shakes his head with a scoff and walks off. The camera follows him. Looking over his shoulder, he looks at the camera and beckons it in front of him. The camera follows through and Max Rotten looks down the camera lens with a look of irritation.
Max: I come back to Outsiders with the promise of violence and getting to hurt people that are across that ring for me BUT in order for me to do that, I get told by Allton that I have to team with a fucking walking pipecleaner who would rather spend his time playing videogames than having a fucking fight. **SIGH** Whatever. So our opponents for this match are an old walking corpse and an even OLDER WALKING CORPSE! Are you kidding me Zybala?! Are you kidding me, Allton?! I’m Max Rotten of the Rotten FAMILY LEGACY! A true wrestling dynasty in this business and you leave me to fight alongside someone who couldn’t even lift a pillow case off of the floor against two walking zombies. I’m Max Fuckin’ Rotten. I deserve better than this!
Pissed off, Max turns from the camera and walks past a UFO Catcher/Claw Machine with a kid, no more than seven crying, staring up at it.
Max: Hey kid, what’s the matter?
Kid: I want that toy! But **sniff** I’ve ran out of money to play!
Max: That’s too bad, kiddo. Let me see if ol’ Uncle Max can do somethin’ about that.
Max then tells the kid to stand back and pulls out some hand tape out of his pocket and begins taping up his hand.
Kid: What are you doing?
Max: Don’t worry about it, kid. Let’s just see if we can’t do something about that toy, huh?
In one swift motion, Max punches the claw machine hard causing the glass to shatter into a million pieces. The soft toys in the machine scatter all over the floor. Max scoops up a few of them and hands them to the now beaming, smiling kid.
Max: Stay in school, yeah?
Max winks at the kid and runs off because the alarms attached to the machine have begun to wail and security are on the way. Back at Gilbert, he notices that the alarms have started to wail and a load of security guards barge past him just as an out of breath Max returns.
Max: Hey, Gilbert? We have to go, man…like right now.
Gilbert: Hold on! I think there’s been something happen. Don’t you wanna stay and find out what that is? I’m curious…
Max exasperates heavily.
Max: Look, I’ll tell you all about it in a minute! But we have to get out of here. Now!
Finally Gilbert lets go of the joystick on the game machine but it’s too late. An army of security guards surrounds Max and Gilbert. Max is obviously not the best pleased about this.
Max: FOR FUCK’S SAKE.
Gilbert: W-what? What? What?! What do they want? I didn’t do anything!
Max: That’s what I was trying to tell you and avoid! But no you walking pipecleaner just had to carry on with your stupid fucking game, didn’t you?!
Gilbert: Oh, so now this is my fault now?
Security guard#1: Can you come with us, please?
Max and Gilbert begin to back up as the security guards continue to surround them. But in typical cartoon-esque fashion Max and Gilbert back themselves into a wall. Gilbert feels the wall behind him and begins to freak out.
Gilbert: What are we going to do?!
Max: What are we going to do?! The only thing that’s worth doing! We Fight!
Gilbert: Max, there’s like fifteen of them.
Max: I know! It’s great isn’t it?! The odds just keep getting better and better!
And just like that, Max is taping up his other hand and throwing up his hands, ready for a fight.
Security guard: Don’t be stupid. There’s too many of us. And there’s more on the way, too. Just surrender.
Gilbert: I surrender!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SURRENDER!
Gilbert steps forward with his arms high in the sky. If he had a white flag to wave, you’re damn right he would be waving that right now.
Max: Gilbert!
Gilbert: Max, use your head for once. We have a match soon against The Proctologist and Ehud of Moab.
Max: The two walking coffin dodgers. I’m not sweating them and neither should you! But fine, leave. I’ll deal with these assholes.
With that, Max throws the first punch, flooring the first security guard and within seconds, all of the security guards are swarming Max just as a few more arrive to talk to Gilbert. The camera fades out.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the camera fades in again both Gilbert and Max Rotten are in a dark room with one single lightbulb swaying away.
Security Guard: Let’s go over this again, shall we?
Max: Uhhhhm. No, let’s not. Let’s fight instead.
The security guard rolls his eyes and then turns his attention to Gilbert.
Security Guard: Alright, I’ll try talking to you instead. You seem more amicable and less likely to flip the table over at a moment’s notice.
Max: Look pal… we need a tune up. We have a match in a couple of days. So if you don’t let us out of here soon, I and my glasses wearing….um….
Gilbert: Friend?
Max: Fuck no. ‘Associate’, cannot and will not be held responsible for our actions. Do you understand?
Security Guard: A match?
Gilbert: We’re wrestlers sir.
Max: Don’t fucking call them Sir, you idiot.
Gilbert: I’m just trying to get us out of here! You can’t solve EVERYTHING by throwing hands!!
Max: Well……you can’t. Pipecleaner.
Security Guard: The two of you want to shut up? All I’m trying to establish is who broke the Claw machine.
Gilbert: Well, it wasn’t me! I was playing Kill the Zombie Generic Army Man VII. My favourite game. Check the security camera footage.
Growing frustrated, Max rolls his eyes and bangs on the table making Gilbert jump a little. Max rolls his eyes at this too.
Max: Alright! Let’s get down to brass tax shall we? You obviously know it was me that broke the machine. The speed at which you assholes came speeding out of the security office, looking for me…. It’s blatantly obvious that you know it was me that did it. So tell me -Gavin -why are we really here in this faux looking interrogation room? Because if you’re trying to intimidate us? It sure as shit ain’t workin’. You feel me?
This argument between Max and the security guard goes on for some time and the camera fades out.
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When we fade back in, we see Max Rotten and Gilbert walking out of the security office. We hear moans from the office and a look of shock on poor Gilbert’s face.
Gilbert: I-I can’t believe you went through the entire security force of this arcade. I’m never going to be allowed back in here, ever again. You’re a flipping psychopath, Max!
Max: I’m a fuckin’ psychopath that is gonna make sure that you and I win the Marcus Welsh Tag Team Tournament, pipecleaner. You should be fucking thanking me. Look, when we go against The Proctologist and Ehud in the tournament, you just let me do the fightin’ alright? Those two walking corpses aren’t going to defeat us and if you just leave me to do my job, they damn sure as hell aren’t going to defeat me. It’ll be one punch from me and the chances are that Ehud is going to die in that ring. And as for the Proctologist, well the very idea that he is allowed to even be in a ring is beyond me. But don’t worry, pipe cleaner, luckily for you, I’ve got this.
Luckily for you pipe cleaner we’re going to walk into Dystopia 29 and come out with the victory simply because of who you now have as a partner.
Gilbert: Could you stop calling me ‘pipe cleaner’?
Max: Well…. I mean, I could but I mean look at you buddy. You ARE a walking pipe cleaner.
Gilbert: Look I’m still 127lbs.
Max scoffs at this.
Max: Sure you are bro, sure you are. Come on, I’m going to take you to where I hang out.
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Word Count 1,500
Max: Gilbert, why the fuck have you brought me to a goddamn video game arcade?! Let’s get violent!
Gilbert: I-in a moment, Max. But look at how realistic the blood in this game is! It’s so red….a-and….well, bloody.
Max rolls his eyes.
Max: Yeah… you know what’s even more realistic?! Blood!!! Real, live, actual BLOOD!!
Gilbert: Ssh! I-I’m busy.
Gilbert goes back to playing his video game and Max shakes his head with a scoff and walks off. The camera follows him. Looking over his shoulder, he looks at the camera and beckons it in front of him. The camera follows through and Max Rotten looks down the camera lens with a look of irritation.
Max: I come back to Outsiders with the promise of violence and getting to hurt people that are across that ring for me BUT in order for me to do that, I get told by Allton that I have to team with a fucking walking pipecleaner who would rather spend his time playing videogames than having a fucking fight. **SIGH** Whatever. So our opponents for this match are an old walking corpse and an even OLDER WALKING CORPSE! Are you kidding me Zybala?! Are you kidding me, Allton?! I’m Max Rotten of the Rotten FAMILY LEGACY! A true wrestling dynasty in this business and you leave me to fight alongside someone who couldn’t even lift a pillow case off of the floor against two walking zombies. I’m Max Fuckin’ Rotten. I deserve better than this!
Pissed off, Max turns from the camera and walks past a UFO Catcher/Claw Machine with a kid, no more than seven crying, staring up at it.
Max: Hey kid, what’s the matter?
Kid: I want that toy! But **sniff** I’ve ran out of money to play!
Max: That’s too bad, kiddo. Let me see if ol’ Uncle Max can do somethin’ about that.
Max then tells the kid to stand back and pulls out some hand tape out of his pocket and begins taping up his hand.
Kid: What are you doing?
Max: Don’t worry about it, kid. Let’s just see if we can’t do something about that toy, huh?
In one swift motion, Max punches the claw machine hard causing the glass to shatter into a million pieces. The soft toys in the machine scatter all over the floor. Max scoops up a few of them and hands them to the now beaming, smiling kid.
Max: Stay in school, yeah?
Max winks at the kid and runs off because the alarms attached to the machine have begun to wail and security are on the way. Back at Gilbert, he notices that the alarms have started to wail and a load of security guards barge past him just as an out of breath Max returns.
Max: Hey, Gilbert? We have to go, man…like right now.
Gilbert: Hold on! I think there’s been something happen. Don’t you wanna stay and find out what that is? I’m curious…
Max exasperates heavily.
Max: Look, I’ll tell you all about it in a minute! But we have to get out of here. Now!
Finally Gilbert lets go of the joystick on the game machine but it’s too late. An army of security guards surrounds Max and Gilbert. Max is obviously not the best pleased about this.
Max: FOR FUCK’S SAKE.
Gilbert: W-what? What? What?! What do they want? I didn’t do anything!
Max: That’s what I was trying to tell you and avoid! But no you walking pipecleaner just had to carry on with your stupid fucking game, didn’t you?!
Gilbert: Oh, so now this is my fault now?
Security guard#1: Can you come with us, please?
Max and Gilbert begin to back up as the security guards continue to surround them. But in typical cartoon-esque fashion Max and Gilbert back themselves into a wall. Gilbert feels the wall behind him and begins to freak out.
Gilbert: What are we going to do?!
Max: What are we going to do?! The only thing that’s worth doing! We Fight!
Gilbert: Max, there’s like fifteen of them.
Max: I know! It’s great isn’t it?! The odds just keep getting better and better!
And just like that, Max is taping up his other hand and throwing up his hands, ready for a fight.
Security guard: Don’t be stupid. There’s too many of us. And there’s more on the way, too. Just surrender.
Gilbert: I surrender!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SURRENDER!
Gilbert steps forward with his arms high in the sky. If he had a white flag to wave, you’re damn right he would be waving that right now.
Max: Gilbert!
Gilbert: Max, use your head for once. We have a match soon against The Proctologist and Ehud of Moab.
Max: The two walking coffin dodgers. I’m not sweating them and neither should you! But fine, leave. I’ll deal with these assholes.
With that, Max throws the first punch, flooring the first security guard and within seconds, all of the security guards are swarming Max just as a few more arrive to talk to Gilbert. The camera fades out.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the camera fades in again both Gilbert and Max Rotten are in a dark room with one single lightbulb swaying away.
Security Guard: Let’s go over this again, shall we?
Max: Uhhhhm. No, let’s not. Let’s fight instead.
The security guard rolls his eyes and then turns his attention to Gilbert.
Security Guard: Alright, I’ll try talking to you instead. You seem more amicable and less likely to flip the table over at a moment’s notice.
Max: Look pal… we need a tune up. We have a match in a couple of days. So if you don’t let us out of here soon, I and my glasses wearing….um….
Gilbert: Friend?
Max: Fuck no. ‘Associate’, cannot and will not be held responsible for our actions. Do you understand?
Security Guard: A match?
Gilbert: We’re wrestlers sir.
Max: Don’t fucking call them Sir, you idiot.
Gilbert: I’m just trying to get us out of here! You can’t solve EVERYTHING by throwing hands!!
Max: Well……you can’t. Pipecleaner.
Security Guard: The two of you want to shut up? All I’m trying to establish is who broke the Claw machine.
Gilbert: Well, it wasn’t me! I was playing Kill the Zombie Generic Army Man VII. My favourite game. Check the security camera footage.
Growing frustrated, Max rolls his eyes and bangs on the table making Gilbert jump a little. Max rolls his eyes at this too.
Max: Alright! Let’s get down to brass tax shall we? You obviously know it was me that broke the machine. The speed at which you assholes came speeding out of the security office, looking for me…. It’s blatantly obvious that you know it was me that did it. So tell me -Gavin -why are we really here in this faux looking interrogation room? Because if you’re trying to intimidate us? It sure as shit ain’t workin’. You feel me?
This argument between Max and the security guard goes on for some time and the camera fades out.
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When we fade back in, we see Max Rotten and Gilbert walking out of the security office. We hear moans from the office and a look of shock on poor Gilbert’s face.
Gilbert: I-I can’t believe you went through the entire security force of this arcade. I’m never going to be allowed back in here, ever again. You’re a flipping psychopath, Max!
Max: I’m a fuckin’ psychopath that is gonna make sure that you and I win the Marcus Welsh Tag Team Tournament, pipecleaner. You should be fucking thanking me. Look, when we go against The Proctologist and Ehud in the tournament, you just let me do the fightin’ alright? Those two walking corpses aren’t going to defeat us and if you just leave me to do my job, they damn sure as hell aren’t going to defeat me. It’ll be one punch from me and the chances are that Ehud is going to die in that ring. And as for the Proctologist, well the very idea that he is allowed to even be in a ring is beyond me. But don’t worry, pipe cleaner, luckily for you, I’ve got this.
Luckily for you pipe cleaner we’re going to walk into Dystopia 29 and come out with the victory simply because of who you now have as a partner.
Gilbert: Could you stop calling me ‘pipe cleaner’?
Max: Well…. I mean, I could but I mean look at you buddy. You ARE a walking pipe cleaner.
Gilbert: Look I’m still 127lbs.
Max scoffs at this.
Max: Sure you are bro, sure you are. Come on, I’m going to take you to where I hang out.
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Word Count 1,500