Lilith’s Christmas Special (Part 2)
Dec 14, 2022 12:16:31 GMT -5
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Post by Lilith on Dec 14, 2022 12:16:31 GMT -5
”And now for the exciting conclusion of… Lilith’s Christmas Special! (Because Alice Knight sucks and doesn’t deserve to have such a cool sounding title like she did last week!)”. Comes up onto the screen as this OCW Network exclusive begins to air.
As the scene opens, we are greeted by the same picturesque Christmas scene that we saw on Massacre, except now the only difference is instead of a costumed owl we now find an actual human sitting in the large leather chair. He too is dressed up as Santa, most likely because the real deal was too expensive to hire him for this, and as the camera zooms into him we soon find that it is actually OCWs own Mike Zybala playing the part. He too has a book in his hands which he reads aloud for the audience.
Santa Zybala: “…and so the flawlessly beautiful brunette girl, who just so happened to be dressed up like Miss Santa, slayed the evil owl and then everybody lived happily ever after and had an amazing Christmas!”
Despite the scene only just starting Zybala starts this off as if he had just finished reading the book, which he soon closes and places down onto the floor.
Zybala: Flawlessly beautiful brunette? I had no idea Alice even did that!
Lilith: What?! CUT!!! CUT!!! Cut the damn thing!
Lilith now storms angrily up to Zybala glaring at him. Just like she did on Massacre, Lilith wears her sexy Miss Santa costume that makes her look amazing.
Lilith: ALICE?!! I’m the beautiful brunette not her! She’s the stinky, trashcan faced, yucky, stink breathed ASSHOLE BITCH BEAR of this story!
Lilith angrily glares at Zybala as she continues yelling at him.
Lilith: Stop ruining Christmas, Zybrara!!!
Zybala: I'm not trying to! I'm just saying both of you are very attractive ladies. Not as attractive as my wife, but I…. are you okay, buddy?
Zybala pauses as he sees Lilith seething at his comment. He starts backtracking as he puts on his best smile.
Zybala: I mean, you are the amazing, gorgeous heroine of this story? Defeater of nasty owls and queen of Teddy Bears and loved by all?
Zybala looks to see if this works on Lilith. The beautiful brunette does not answer this question, instead she just continues to glare at him angrily.
Lilith: Shut up! I’m the greatest and bestest EVER! At EVERYTHING! And besides… knowing you your “wife” is probably just an ostrich wearing a dress!
Zybala: Ostrich?!? She's more beautiful than an ostrich, teddy bears and you put together!
Lilith does not take kindly to this as she rushes at Zybala. She tackles him into the Santa chair and the two tumble backwards. They start fighting with each other as the scene fades out. It quickly comes back and now Zybala is sitting back in his chair with Lilith sitting on his lap. Obviously the two of them had made up again since we last cut to black.
Lilith: Well now we come to a very special part of the show… Christmas letters for Satan!
Zybala: Santa.
Lilith: What?
Zybala: Santa. You said Satan—-
Lilith: Shut up! That was a typo! Christmas letters for SANTA!
Lilith turns to look at Zybala briefly.
Lilith: That means you, you big dumb idiot.
Lilith giggles as she reaches into a nearby sack and pulls out a letter that is addressed to Zybala Claus.
Lilith: Oooooooo look this one’s for you!
Lilith quickly opens up the letter and begins to read it out aloud.
Lilith: “Dear Zybala, I think you’re great… blah blah blah. Some other nonsense… love some stupid fan”.
Lilith rolls her eyes, screws the letter up into a ball and throws it into the fire.
Lilith: Clearly junk mail. No one likes you that much.
Lilith looks at Zybala with a clear look of disgust on her face.
Lilith: Ewwwwww!
Zybala rolls his eyes a bit before pulling out a letter from the bag.
Zybala: This one is for you.
Lilith quickly becomes excited hearing this.
Lilith: Ooooooo fan mail saying how much they love me no doubt!
Zybala: Ahem. "Dear Lilith, While you are a very talented wrestler, you know you don't automatically belong in every Hall of Fame, right? And what's the deal with teddy bears? Aren’t you like 40? I think it..”
Lilith snatches the letter from Zybala and starts reading it to make sure he wasn't making stuff up. Her eyes go wide with anger before throwing that letter into the fire.
Lilith: Read another! And I am no where NEAR 40! How freaking RUDE!
Zybala grabs another one and reads it.
Zybala: "Dear Lilith, how does it feel to be forever stuck in the shadow of the greatness that is Alice Knight? She has it all, beauty, grace, skill, a world title reign, and a Hall of Fame spot. You know, everything you don’t have or ever will get. Just wanna know how it feels to be perpetually stuck in second place. Best Wishes, Tom from Idaho.”
At this point Lilith was clearly getting angrier and angrier as she grabs hold of this letter and throws this one in the fire too. She angrily rummages through the sack of letters before she finds another addressed to herself which she immediately shoves into Zybala Claus's hands.
Lilith: Read another! I should have known that my show… MY SHOW!!! Would be hijacked by a bunch of inbred fucking Alice fans! Grrrrrrr!
Lilith literally growls she’s so angry before Zybala reads the next letter.
Zybala: "Dear Lilith, When are you gonna get back with Sarah Tw..”
Lilith grabs this letter and tears it to shreds. She just glares at Zybala about ready to explode as she points at the bag. Zybala sticks a hand in and pulls out another letter without checking who it was addresssed to.
Zybala: Fourth times the charm… "Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is to be as cool and talented and as awesome as my favorite wrestler, Lilith. I know it's a lot to ask for, but I have a big match coming up and I need all the help I can get. My skills are severely lacking. If only I could be as great as Lilith. Sincerely, The Big Bifford. P.S. Can Lilith make me the Duke of Teddy Bears? I'd love to serve under her."
Zybala looks to Lilith but the brunette bombshell has already flipped out as she pushes herself off of Zybala and angrily screams at him again.
Lilith: Get the hell away from me! I am soooooo sick of this stuff! Big Bifford SUCKS! I don’t even want him as a fan and if I hear one more thing about Alice I’ll TOTALLY lose it!!! ARGHHHHHHH!
Just to let out her anger Lilith once again lashes out at Zybala and the two of them get into another fight. Before things can progress the scene fades to black once again before it returns to a much happier Lilith who now had a fairly large gift in her hands and a very sweet smile on her face.
Lilith: Alright we’re done with the fan mail. Zybala… don’t ever say I never do anything for you cos… here… I got you a gift!
Lilith smiles even brighter as she hands him the gift. He reads the label on it out loud before opening it.
Zybala: “To Zebrara. Just because I know you’ll never manage to have the real thing. Lilith”.
Zybala tears off the wrapping paper and opens the box. He pulls out a toy replica of the OCW World title. He looks annoyed at Lilith, who is all smiles. Zybala keeps his composure as he mutters a half hearted 'thank you.' He then reaches out and hands Lilith a large gift.
Zybala: i got something for you, too. Just cuz I'm a great friend.
Lilith smiles broadly as she destroys the wrapping paper and box. Inside is a big, plush three foot teddy bear wearing a Lilith t-shirt! This seems to please Lilith greatly until she sees the bear is holding something. A stuffed owl stitched to the bear's arm, wearing a shirt that reads "Alice's Biggest Hooter." Zybala gives Lilith the same smile she gave him while holding up the plastic title in a defensive position. For a moment Lilith just stands there, doing literally nothing else except giving Zybala and the owl death glares. For a moment she seems to calm down as she drops the bear on the floor and steps away from the scene. Lilith is now out of camera shot but despite this you can still hear her talking.
Lilith: See I figured you’d do something dumb like this. That’s why I decided to buy myself a gift and I’m sooooooo happiful I did!
Zybala watches curiously and then his eyes suddenly go huge as Lilith charges back over towards him with a bat in her hands. The baseball bat is Christmas themed with tons of glitter and red and white stripes making it look like a giant candy cane. Just as Zybala looks like he’s expecting to be attacked himself, Lilith turns the bat onto the cuddly toy owl and smashes it to pieces, sending tiny bits of stuffing flying everywhere. She even turns the bat onto the stack of Alice Knight mustard, destroying it all and leaving the room, herself and Zybala covered in a mixture of tiny pieces of glass, mustard and stuffing from the now deceased owl. Now being very happy with herself Lilith rests the bat up against her shoulder as she carries it out of the scene once again.
Lilith: Merry Christmas!
Zybala: And a Happy New Year!
The production comes to an end as “Merry Christmas Lilo Bears” comes up onto the screen. Lilo Bears were of course what Lilith had always called her fans, who had mostly all been imaginary as people didn’t actually tend to like her, at all.
As the scene opens, we are greeted by the same picturesque Christmas scene that we saw on Massacre, except now the only difference is instead of a costumed owl we now find an actual human sitting in the large leather chair. He too is dressed up as Santa, most likely because the real deal was too expensive to hire him for this, and as the camera zooms into him we soon find that it is actually OCWs own Mike Zybala playing the part. He too has a book in his hands which he reads aloud for the audience.
Santa Zybala: “…and so the flawlessly beautiful brunette girl, who just so happened to be dressed up like Miss Santa, slayed the evil owl and then everybody lived happily ever after and had an amazing Christmas!”
Despite the scene only just starting Zybala starts this off as if he had just finished reading the book, which he soon closes and places down onto the floor.
Zybala: Flawlessly beautiful brunette? I had no idea Alice even did that!
Lilith: What?! CUT!!! CUT!!! Cut the damn thing!
Lilith now storms angrily up to Zybala glaring at him. Just like she did on Massacre, Lilith wears her sexy Miss Santa costume that makes her look amazing.
Lilith: ALICE?!! I’m the beautiful brunette not her! She’s the stinky, trashcan faced, yucky, stink breathed ASSHOLE BITCH BEAR of this story!
Lilith angrily glares at Zybala as she continues yelling at him.
Lilith: Stop ruining Christmas, Zybrara!!!
Zybala: I'm not trying to! I'm just saying both of you are very attractive ladies. Not as attractive as my wife, but I…. are you okay, buddy?
Zybala pauses as he sees Lilith seething at his comment. He starts backtracking as he puts on his best smile.
Zybala: I mean, you are the amazing, gorgeous heroine of this story? Defeater of nasty owls and queen of Teddy Bears and loved by all?
Zybala looks to see if this works on Lilith. The beautiful brunette does not answer this question, instead she just continues to glare at him angrily.
Lilith: Shut up! I’m the greatest and bestest EVER! At EVERYTHING! And besides… knowing you your “wife” is probably just an ostrich wearing a dress!
Zybala: Ostrich?!? She's more beautiful than an ostrich, teddy bears and you put together!
Lilith does not take kindly to this as she rushes at Zybala. She tackles him into the Santa chair and the two tumble backwards. They start fighting with each other as the scene fades out. It quickly comes back and now Zybala is sitting back in his chair with Lilith sitting on his lap. Obviously the two of them had made up again since we last cut to black.
Lilith: Well now we come to a very special part of the show… Christmas letters for Satan!
Zybala: Santa.
Lilith: What?
Zybala: Santa. You said Satan—-
Lilith: Shut up! That was a typo! Christmas letters for SANTA!
Lilith turns to look at Zybala briefly.
Lilith: That means you, you big dumb idiot.
Lilith giggles as she reaches into a nearby sack and pulls out a letter that is addressed to Zybala Claus.
Lilith: Oooooooo look this one’s for you!
Lilith quickly opens up the letter and begins to read it out aloud.
Lilith: “Dear Zybala, I think you’re great… blah blah blah. Some other nonsense… love some stupid fan”.
Lilith rolls her eyes, screws the letter up into a ball and throws it into the fire.
Lilith: Clearly junk mail. No one likes you that much.
Lilith looks at Zybala with a clear look of disgust on her face.
Lilith: Ewwwwww!
Zybala rolls his eyes a bit before pulling out a letter from the bag.
Zybala: This one is for you.
Lilith quickly becomes excited hearing this.
Lilith: Ooooooo fan mail saying how much they love me no doubt!
Zybala: Ahem. "Dear Lilith, While you are a very talented wrestler, you know you don't automatically belong in every Hall of Fame, right? And what's the deal with teddy bears? Aren’t you like 40? I think it..”
Lilith snatches the letter from Zybala and starts reading it to make sure he wasn't making stuff up. Her eyes go wide with anger before throwing that letter into the fire.
Lilith: Read another! And I am no where NEAR 40! How freaking RUDE!
Zybala grabs another one and reads it.
Zybala: "Dear Lilith, how does it feel to be forever stuck in the shadow of the greatness that is Alice Knight? She has it all, beauty, grace, skill, a world title reign, and a Hall of Fame spot. You know, everything you don’t have or ever will get. Just wanna know how it feels to be perpetually stuck in second place. Best Wishes, Tom from Idaho.”
At this point Lilith was clearly getting angrier and angrier as she grabs hold of this letter and throws this one in the fire too. She angrily rummages through the sack of letters before she finds another addressed to herself which she immediately shoves into Zybala Claus's hands.
Lilith: Read another! I should have known that my show… MY SHOW!!! Would be hijacked by a bunch of inbred fucking Alice fans! Grrrrrrr!
Lilith literally growls she’s so angry before Zybala reads the next letter.
Zybala: "Dear Lilith, When are you gonna get back with Sarah Tw..”
Lilith grabs this letter and tears it to shreds. She just glares at Zybala about ready to explode as she points at the bag. Zybala sticks a hand in and pulls out another letter without checking who it was addresssed to.
Zybala: Fourth times the charm… "Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is to be as cool and talented and as awesome as my favorite wrestler, Lilith. I know it's a lot to ask for, but I have a big match coming up and I need all the help I can get. My skills are severely lacking. If only I could be as great as Lilith. Sincerely, The Big Bifford. P.S. Can Lilith make me the Duke of Teddy Bears? I'd love to serve under her."
Zybala looks to Lilith but the brunette bombshell has already flipped out as she pushes herself off of Zybala and angrily screams at him again.
Lilith: Get the hell away from me! I am soooooo sick of this stuff! Big Bifford SUCKS! I don’t even want him as a fan and if I hear one more thing about Alice I’ll TOTALLY lose it!!! ARGHHHHHHH!
Just to let out her anger Lilith once again lashes out at Zybala and the two of them get into another fight. Before things can progress the scene fades to black once again before it returns to a much happier Lilith who now had a fairly large gift in her hands and a very sweet smile on her face.
Lilith: Alright we’re done with the fan mail. Zybala… don’t ever say I never do anything for you cos… here… I got you a gift!
Lilith smiles even brighter as she hands him the gift. He reads the label on it out loud before opening it.
Zybala: “To Zebrara. Just because I know you’ll never manage to have the real thing. Lilith”.
Zybala tears off the wrapping paper and opens the box. He pulls out a toy replica of the OCW World title. He looks annoyed at Lilith, who is all smiles. Zybala keeps his composure as he mutters a half hearted 'thank you.' He then reaches out and hands Lilith a large gift.
Zybala: i got something for you, too. Just cuz I'm a great friend.
Lilith smiles broadly as she destroys the wrapping paper and box. Inside is a big, plush three foot teddy bear wearing a Lilith t-shirt! This seems to please Lilith greatly until she sees the bear is holding something. A stuffed owl stitched to the bear's arm, wearing a shirt that reads "Alice's Biggest Hooter." Zybala gives Lilith the same smile she gave him while holding up the plastic title in a defensive position. For a moment Lilith just stands there, doing literally nothing else except giving Zybala and the owl death glares. For a moment she seems to calm down as she drops the bear on the floor and steps away from the scene. Lilith is now out of camera shot but despite this you can still hear her talking.
Lilith: See I figured you’d do something dumb like this. That’s why I decided to buy myself a gift and I’m sooooooo happiful I did!
Zybala watches curiously and then his eyes suddenly go huge as Lilith charges back over towards him with a bat in her hands. The baseball bat is Christmas themed with tons of glitter and red and white stripes making it look like a giant candy cane. Just as Zybala looks like he’s expecting to be attacked himself, Lilith turns the bat onto the cuddly toy owl and smashes it to pieces, sending tiny bits of stuffing flying everywhere. She even turns the bat onto the stack of Alice Knight mustard, destroying it all and leaving the room, herself and Zybala covered in a mixture of tiny pieces of glass, mustard and stuffing from the now deceased owl. Now being very happy with herself Lilith rests the bat up against her shoulder as she carries it out of the scene once again.
Lilith: Merry Christmas!
Zybala: And a Happy New Year!
The production comes to an end as “Merry Christmas Lilo Bears” comes up onto the screen. Lilo Bears were of course what Lilith had always called her fans, who had mostly all been imaginary as people didn’t actually tend to like her, at all.
