Post by The Nickleman on Dec 6, 2022 18:13:29 GMT -5
We cut to a shot of The Nickleman, standing proudly with both of the OCW tag-team championship belts around his arms. He's grinning like a hound as he stands on the front porch of a decrepit old home, with boarded up windows and a caved-in roof. The Nickleman looks to the camera and starts flexing his hulking muscles as he speaks.
The Nickleman reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a crack pipe. He reaches inside his other pocket and pulls out a small crack rock. He places the crack rock inside the crack pipe before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his crack lighter, the lighter he uses to light the crack up from beneath the bowl. The Nickleman takes a long drag and completely wrecks that rock, then he exhales the smoke and tucks his pipe and lighter back into his jeans.
The Nickleman shook his head from side to side as he slowly began descending the staircase in front of the house.
The Nickleman throws his head back with nefarious laughter as he walks off camera and away from the scene, leaving us with just the still image of a broken home.
Nickleman: "You already know what it is, BITCH!
I'm the muhfukkin' Nickleman and I've been begging for a chance to get on Outsider's for the last three fucking months! I'm the most dominant force in professional wrestling today, yesterday, and tomorrow! That's why I've been going to Dystopia and calling out every little bitch I see for the last couple shows. I need people to know my name so they can know to respect it, and how am I going to get my name out there if I don't go to every rinkadink backyard show! Everyone is going to see me come down to the ring and beat the ever-living-dog-cum out of Marcus Welshslhchchsh's puckered up farthole.
Marcus is the Mecca of Mediocrity on Dystopia; I've been to a couple shows now and I can say for certain that the TICKET BITCH is absolutely the BIGGEST BITCH not only in Outsider's, but in all of OCW! That dumb fucking cunt is lucky Strader took over for him, because that dumbass S.O.B. almost got me cancelled when he let me say the 'r' word at Thad's mansion! THAT WAS HIS FAULT, NOT MINE! So I take no accountability....but I will take accountability for what I plan on doing to Marcus the mediocre ticket bitch tomorrow night!"
The Nickleman reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a crack pipe. He reaches inside his other pocket and pulls out a small crack rock. He places the crack rock inside the crack pipe before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his crack lighter, the lighter he uses to light the crack up from beneath the bowl. The Nickleman takes a long drag and completely wrecks that rock, then he exhales the smoke and tucks his pipe and lighter back into his jeans.
Nickleman: "Fuck, what was I saying?
Oh yeah!
MARCUS WELSSSSCHCHCHCH IS A BITCH AND I'M GOING TO BEAT HIS ASS!
Marcus looks like the kinda guy who sucks hot dogs out of their buns instead of just biting them.
Marcus sounds like the kinda guy who'd let me fuck his girlfriend.
The only problem?
MARCUS SMELLS LIKE THE KINDA GUY WHO COULDN'T FUCK A GOD DAMNED CORPSE!
If he ever joined BOB, we'd call him the 'tiny limp dick Bastard'.
But truthfully?
We'd never let that mega-pussy in BOB."
Nickleman: "I'm going to step all over this bitch ass pussy's face, spilling his blood and making him lick it up like it was his mother's spilled milk. I'm going to slice, dice, and cut this son of a bitch a thousand times because I think if he dies, then maybe I'll get his salary! I don't know how Outsider's works, but the place is pretty trashy and bumfuck so I think that checks out.
Now if you'll excuse me....I've just found a great new home to bring my children to! I'm sure they'll make great friends with the cockroaches in there!"
The Nickleman throws his head back with nefarious laughter as he walks off camera and away from the scene, leaving us with just the still image of a broken home.