Post by Harmony on Nov 25, 2022 12:19:12 GMT -5
The warm waters enveloped me like a motherly embrace as the gently lapping waves closed over my head. The waters were pristine, some of the clearest water I’ve ever seen. I could feel the tiny stones and silt underfoot, squelching between my toes. I felt the gentle pull of the water, causing my clothing to ripple and dance. But it was what I saw…
It started out as a tiny underwater eddy, and then developed into a small cyclone growing larger and larger. At first, I started to panic, having no idea what to make of it. The cyclone then diverged into a number of smaller cyclones, and then morphed again from whirling current into vaguely human shapes composed entirely of water. The forms were lithe, devoid of detail, but still somehow undeniably beautiful. Their faces, like expressions molded in clay, were serene. The creatures danced around me for a time, and my wonderment only increased.
Their dancing grew faster and faster, and as it did the pull on my body became stronger and stronger. Soon, I was being buffeted about between them. But I was not afraid.
At first.
As I smiled, completely forgetting that I was even holding my breath to enjoy this enchantment, I began to notice subtle distortions in their features. What was serene started to become increasingly angular, with stony frowns and prominent cheekbones. And then, from the sockets where eyes should have been, brilliant pinpricks of savage red light.
I could feel worry knotting my insides. Instinctively I knew that something wasn’t right. Their expressions grew increasingly more gruesome as they flitted around me, like demonic effigies. I tried to rise, to claw my way back to the surface, but the mini whirlpool that they were creating all about me held me rooted in place. And then came a keening wail, filtered through the water. Like the sound of some nautical creature screaming.
And that’s when they set in on me, taking hold of me in their aquiline hands and pulling me this way and that, teeth gnashing, threatening to rend me apart. Such was their unforeseen strength. I tried to pull away, tried again to get to the surface, but still they held me. It occurred to me then that I was going to drown.
But that wasn’t to be my fate today.
Suddenly, I was being pushed to the surface as though by some unseen hand. I exploded up and out of the water, some ten feet above the surface, and came crashing back down onto land. Pan and Corey rushed over to me, shock written on their faces as I panted and sputtered up water. I was barely conscious of what they were saying, but one phrase stood out amongst the rest. It was Pan.
They rejected him! They rejected him!
The waters rejected him. I’ve never seen that happen. Ever.
Corey looked over Pan’s shoulder to make sure Harmon was still out of earshot. Seeing him still by the fire, enveloped in a blanket, Corey spoke freely. So what does that mean?
Pan sighed, looking very much like he was reluctant to continue. It means there is something terrible about that young man.
“Something terrible.” Like..what? What does that mean?
The waters would only reject someone if their heart wasn’t pure. If it was full of…full of….well, evil intent.
Corey shook his head “no”. No, that’s not this guy.
You barely know him. Thad barely knows him.
It’s not…
Didn’t you say he was running with Charlie Knickles and Thunder Knuckles? Not exactly “citizen of the year” material, those two.
He’s like ME, Pan! Corey patted his chest for emphasis. He’s screwed up, largely because of factors outside his control. And he’s made mistakes, he’s let his conscience take a back seat to accompish what he feels is the greater good. Does that sound familiar too?
Corey…
We’re cut from the same cloth. I know him, Pan. I feel like I know him intuitively. Do you trust me?
Of course I do. But then…Pan looks to the side, momentarily lost in thought. Maybe its something else.
Like what?
I don’t know yet. But Corey…Pan puts a hand on his lover’s shoulder. You need to tread carefully with this guy.
I’m always careful.
Do you see these eyes rolling? Because they’re rolling.
Corey planted a quick peck on Pan’s lips. I’ll be careful.
They’re talking about you, you know.
The spectral vision of my mother, seated across from me, nodded her head in the direction of Corey and Pan.
I know.
“You know”. Heh. THEY know.
The dancing flames turned my mother’s face into a microcosm of flitting shadows. Her stare was just as harsh and demanding as it ever was. But there was something else too. A sadness. Something I know I must have tacked on to the vision, because it surely would have been absent had she been real.
They know what you are, Harmon. They know you’re not cut out for people like them. You’re a bastard in more sense than one.
She smiled at her use of the dual meaning of the word, referring of course to my relationship with B.O.B. and the fact that I was a fatherless child.
You mock me.
I speak the truth. You are….
I am what you made me! You did this to me! Turned me into this angry, crippled, stunted man child! I roared back at her in my thoughts.
My mother casually leaned back, a satisfied smirk on her face. Good Harmon. Take that anger. Use it. Isn’t that what you said to that Calaway girl? To use her anger. When are you going to take your own advice? No. Instead you turtle up inside your shell. Pretending to be something decent. But this isn’t a decent world Harmon. And we’re not decent people.
How did I ever love you?
That’s a good question. Why do you still love me now? Love me enough to kill for me? To take revenge for me?
I didn’t know. I had no answer to give. I felt pathetic. Like some puppy dog enthralled to a master that beat them. Funny that. My mother never laid a hand on me in anger. And maybe it was for those little things, those little mercies, maybe that’s why I still had feelings for her.
Do you remember when I read to you? I suppose that was one of my “little mercies”. Do you remember what your favorite book was?
I didn’t want to admit that I did.
It was that book about the lost little baby bird, looking for their mama.
“Are You My Mother?”
My mother snapped her fingers. That’s the one. You loved that one, Harmon. You loved that one because you didn’t have to go looking like that baby bird did. You may have disagreed with what I did. You may have thought me cold and distant. But I was always THERE for you. Keeping you in clothes. Keeping you fed. Making you feel safe.
…until I got shot. Because of you.
Suddenly, a scowl was buried in her features. And yet here you are. Birthed through those fire and flames and made stronger for it. Harmon, these motherfuckers in OCW, they have NO IDEA. They have no idea how STRONG you are. Yes Harmon, you are stronger for that pain! Whether you want to admit it or not. She paused, looking past me. I’ll see you later Harmon. Your boy is coming to collect you.
Corey put a hand on my shoulder, rousing me. Are you ready to go?
I cast one final look at the flames. I was ready.
What I just heard is the stupidest goddamned shit I’ve had the misfortune of being exposed to, and I suffered through multiple Mike Mason promos.
Yeah, we’re cutting that response promo shit right here. Because Calaway’s segment was just that awful. Bitch doesn’t even know if she wants to stay in first person or third person narration, so how can we possibly expect something coherent and well thought out from a complete intellectual chasm like that.
I mean, the pointless “I’m gonna beat you so bad, you gonna wish I didn’t beat you so bad” motif is a hymn sung by every single opponent that has crossed paths with me. Tell me, Alexandra, how did that pan out the last nine times?
Mmmmm huh. Look, I know your processing speed isn’t exactly up to par, so I’ll go ahead and give you a minute or three to get that sorted.
….
You back? Good, because I’m not nearly done yet.
Spare me this Dark Queen bullshit. I already met my Dark Queen. She BIRTHED me. And trust me, you got fuck all on her. Acting like your my life’s “big bad”. Honey, I was RAISED by my life’s “big bad”. You think I sweat you? You really think I sweat you? You think YOU’RE “the end of all I know and love?”
The utter audacity of this bitch right here.
I already experienced the end of all I know and love. Bleeding out next to my dead mother with a bullet lodged in my neck. A bullet that tore out my throat and left me voiceless. But you think your Becky from the Block ass is my personal armageddon?
If I had the capacity for laughter, I’d be DYING right now. Dying all over again.
Let me help you catch a clue, girl. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, that you could put me through that would even approach the trauma I’ve already experienced. And as loathe as I may be to admit it, yes, it has made me stronger.
What part of my record, what part of my actions, has ever screamed “cowering in the corner”? Because if anything, I have always done just the opposite. I’ve built up a significant undefeated streak by taking on all comers and backing down from no one. I’ve bested guys who were seeded Top 10 in the entire promotion. And I’ve done it all without ever even stooping to fighting enhancement talent to pad my record.
What part of any of that screams cowardice? None of it. None of it. Because you’re just throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks. In short, you’re FLOUNDERING.
Also, explain this to me. How you going to have so much respect for Crash Rodriguez, and then claim to be unimpressed that I beat him? How exactly does that square? Oh but I guess Crash had a “lot going on outside the ring.” Bitch, please. We ALL got a lot going on outside the ring. If you knew HALF of what I’ve got going on outside the ring, you’d know what an idiotic statement that is. You getting sick of throwing that shit at the wall yet?
The fact is, in your vain attempts to sound dominant, you have displayed total ignorance of who I am and what I’m about. In fact, what you said was so purestrain stupid I’m not even sure you realize that I’m undefeated. Otherwise, you’d have some semblance of a goddamn clue what you’re getting into. But you don’t. You’re coasting on pure ego and blase ignorance. And you are gonna get rocked HARD because of it.
The Craze Championship is staying with me. My streak hits double digits. And you are once again relegated to the trash bin of OCW history where you belong.
It started out as a tiny underwater eddy, and then developed into a small cyclone growing larger and larger. At first, I started to panic, having no idea what to make of it. The cyclone then diverged into a number of smaller cyclones, and then morphed again from whirling current into vaguely human shapes composed entirely of water. The forms were lithe, devoid of detail, but still somehow undeniably beautiful. Their faces, like expressions molded in clay, were serene. The creatures danced around me for a time, and my wonderment only increased.
Their dancing grew faster and faster, and as it did the pull on my body became stronger and stronger. Soon, I was being buffeted about between them. But I was not afraid.
At first.
As I smiled, completely forgetting that I was even holding my breath to enjoy this enchantment, I began to notice subtle distortions in their features. What was serene started to become increasingly angular, with stony frowns and prominent cheekbones. And then, from the sockets where eyes should have been, brilliant pinpricks of savage red light.
I could feel worry knotting my insides. Instinctively I knew that something wasn’t right. Their expressions grew increasingly more gruesome as they flitted around me, like demonic effigies. I tried to rise, to claw my way back to the surface, but the mini whirlpool that they were creating all about me held me rooted in place. And then came a keening wail, filtered through the water. Like the sound of some nautical creature screaming.
And that’s when they set in on me, taking hold of me in their aquiline hands and pulling me this way and that, teeth gnashing, threatening to rend me apart. Such was their unforeseen strength. I tried to pull away, tried again to get to the surface, but still they held me. It occurred to me then that I was going to drown.
But that wasn’t to be my fate today.
Suddenly, I was being pushed to the surface as though by some unseen hand. I exploded up and out of the water, some ten feet above the surface, and came crashing back down onto land. Pan and Corey rushed over to me, shock written on their faces as I panted and sputtered up water. I was barely conscious of what they were saying, but one phrase stood out amongst the rest. It was Pan.
They rejected him! They rejected him!
LATER…
The waters rejected him. I’ve never seen that happen. Ever.
Corey looked over Pan’s shoulder to make sure Harmon was still out of earshot. Seeing him still by the fire, enveloped in a blanket, Corey spoke freely. So what does that mean?
Pan sighed, looking very much like he was reluctant to continue. It means there is something terrible about that young man.
“Something terrible.” Like..what? What does that mean?
The waters would only reject someone if their heart wasn’t pure. If it was full of…full of….well, evil intent.
Corey shook his head “no”. No, that’s not this guy.
You barely know him. Thad barely knows him.
It’s not…
Didn’t you say he was running with Charlie Knickles and Thunder Knuckles? Not exactly “citizen of the year” material, those two.
He’s like ME, Pan! Corey patted his chest for emphasis. He’s screwed up, largely because of factors outside his control. And he’s made mistakes, he’s let his conscience take a back seat to accompish what he feels is the greater good. Does that sound familiar too?
Corey…
We’re cut from the same cloth. I know him, Pan. I feel like I know him intuitively. Do you trust me?
Of course I do. But then…Pan looks to the side, momentarily lost in thought. Maybe its something else.
Like what?
I don’t know yet. But Corey…Pan puts a hand on his lover’s shoulder. You need to tread carefully with this guy.
I’m always careful.
Do you see these eyes rolling? Because they’re rolling.
Corey planted a quick peck on Pan’s lips. I’ll be careful.
*****
Even with a blanket wrapped around me and a fire before me, I still couldn’t completely shake the chill from my bones. Being cast out of those waters rattled me. But oddly enough, I wasn’t disappointed. I knew better than to have gotten my hopes up in the first place. They’re talking about you, you know.
The spectral vision of my mother, seated across from me, nodded her head in the direction of Corey and Pan.
I know.
“You know”. Heh. THEY know.
The dancing flames turned my mother’s face into a microcosm of flitting shadows. Her stare was just as harsh and demanding as it ever was. But there was something else too. A sadness. Something I know I must have tacked on to the vision, because it surely would have been absent had she been real.
They know what you are, Harmon. They know you’re not cut out for people like them. You’re a bastard in more sense than one.
She smiled at her use of the dual meaning of the word, referring of course to my relationship with B.O.B. and the fact that I was a fatherless child.
You mock me.
I speak the truth. You are….
I am what you made me! You did this to me! Turned me into this angry, crippled, stunted man child! I roared back at her in my thoughts.
My mother casually leaned back, a satisfied smirk on her face. Good Harmon. Take that anger. Use it. Isn’t that what you said to that Calaway girl? To use her anger. When are you going to take your own advice? No. Instead you turtle up inside your shell. Pretending to be something decent. But this isn’t a decent world Harmon. And we’re not decent people.
How did I ever love you?
That’s a good question. Why do you still love me now? Love me enough to kill for me? To take revenge for me?
I didn’t know. I had no answer to give. I felt pathetic. Like some puppy dog enthralled to a master that beat them. Funny that. My mother never laid a hand on me in anger. And maybe it was for those little things, those little mercies, maybe that’s why I still had feelings for her.
Do you remember when I read to you? I suppose that was one of my “little mercies”. Do you remember what your favorite book was?
I didn’t want to admit that I did.
It was that book about the lost little baby bird, looking for their mama.
“Are You My Mother?”
My mother snapped her fingers. That’s the one. You loved that one, Harmon. You loved that one because you didn’t have to go looking like that baby bird did. You may have disagreed with what I did. You may have thought me cold and distant. But I was always THERE for you. Keeping you in clothes. Keeping you fed. Making you feel safe.
…until I got shot. Because of you.
Suddenly, a scowl was buried in her features. And yet here you are. Birthed through those fire and flames and made stronger for it. Harmon, these motherfuckers in OCW, they have NO IDEA. They have no idea how STRONG you are. Yes Harmon, you are stronger for that pain! Whether you want to admit it or not. She paused, looking past me. I’ll see you later Harmon. Your boy is coming to collect you.
Corey put a hand on my shoulder, rousing me. Are you ready to go?
I cast one final look at the flames. I was ready.
HARMON’S JOURNAL: ENTRY 12
What I just heard is the stupidest goddamned shit I’ve had the misfortune of being exposed to, and I suffered through multiple Mike Mason promos.
Yeah, we’re cutting that response promo shit right here. Because Calaway’s segment was just that awful. Bitch doesn’t even know if she wants to stay in first person or third person narration, so how can we possibly expect something coherent and well thought out from a complete intellectual chasm like that.
I mean, the pointless “I’m gonna beat you so bad, you gonna wish I didn’t beat you so bad” motif is a hymn sung by every single opponent that has crossed paths with me. Tell me, Alexandra, how did that pan out the last nine times?
Mmmmm huh. Look, I know your processing speed isn’t exactly up to par, so I’ll go ahead and give you a minute or three to get that sorted.
….
You back? Good, because I’m not nearly done yet.
Spare me this Dark Queen bullshit. I already met my Dark Queen. She BIRTHED me. And trust me, you got fuck all on her. Acting like your my life’s “big bad”. Honey, I was RAISED by my life’s “big bad”. You think I sweat you? You really think I sweat you? You think YOU’RE “the end of all I know and love?”
The utter audacity of this bitch right here.
I already experienced the end of all I know and love. Bleeding out next to my dead mother with a bullet lodged in my neck. A bullet that tore out my throat and left me voiceless. But you think your Becky from the Block ass is my personal armageddon?
If I had the capacity for laughter, I’d be DYING right now. Dying all over again.
Let me help you catch a clue, girl. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, that you could put me through that would even approach the trauma I’ve already experienced. And as loathe as I may be to admit it, yes, it has made me stronger.
What part of my record, what part of my actions, has ever screamed “cowering in the corner”? Because if anything, I have always done just the opposite. I’ve built up a significant undefeated streak by taking on all comers and backing down from no one. I’ve bested guys who were seeded Top 10 in the entire promotion. And I’ve done it all without ever even stooping to fighting enhancement talent to pad my record.
What part of any of that screams cowardice? None of it. None of it. Because you’re just throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks. In short, you’re FLOUNDERING.
Also, explain this to me. How you going to have so much respect for Crash Rodriguez, and then claim to be unimpressed that I beat him? How exactly does that square? Oh but I guess Crash had a “lot going on outside the ring.” Bitch, please. We ALL got a lot going on outside the ring. If you knew HALF of what I’ve got going on outside the ring, you’d know what an idiotic statement that is. You getting sick of throwing that shit at the wall yet?
The fact is, in your vain attempts to sound dominant, you have displayed total ignorance of who I am and what I’m about. In fact, what you said was so purestrain stupid I’m not even sure you realize that I’m undefeated. Otherwise, you’d have some semblance of a goddamn clue what you’re getting into. But you don’t. You’re coasting on pure ego and blase ignorance. And you are gonna get rocked HARD because of it.
The Craze Championship is staying with me. My streak hits double digits. And you are once again relegated to the trash bin of OCW history where you belong.