The Rumble in The Bronx Arc

[Robert Uchiha]

Rumble in the Bronx Arc; Part 1

We open to find everybody's favorite part time wrestling anime megafan, Robert Uchiha sitting at his computer, hand buried beneath his waistband as he clicks around the web. A tiny smile grows on his face, his sun deprived skin begins dripping sweat that glows against the computer’s light.

Robert: “Oh Mikasa, you can attack my titan anytime… yeah, oh Mikasa… you’re so amazing… the perfect waifu in every wa-“
Mom: “Hoooney! The pizza rolls are done”

Like a bolt of lightning, our hero Robert Uchiha drops to all fours and rushes up the basement stairs and into the living room, rounding the corner towards the kitchen before slamming into his father’s legs.

Dad: “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Robert rises to his feet and stares at his father, his eyes glued to his fathers. Afterall, last time he avoided eye contact with his dad, their belt left welts on Uchiha’s pale and lumpy ass.

Robert: “Father, forgive me. I was only trying to come up for food. My body requires sustenance that only combination flavored pizza rolls can provide.”

The dad’s face morphs into a look of pure dismay with a smidge of disappointment, before finally settling on annoyance.

Dad: “Well watch where you’re going, or I’m going to provide your ass with the sustenance of my foot.”
Mom: “Dear, leave my baby alone, I’m sure it was an accident”
Dad: “Dammit Beth, he was the accident! And everything since then has been downhill. Look at him, he’s an adult loser! He jacks off to cartoons and whatever weirdo japanese shit he’s always wasting OUR money on. My father would be rolling in his grave if he saw this boy. Do you even realize your grandfather died at Pearl Harbor?”
Mom: “Shaun, please calm down before you say something you regret.”
Dad: “The only thing I regret is him.”

Robert stands still as a stone, his eyes building up water, barely keeping them back.

Dad: “Oh don’t you start crying now you little pansy.”

Robert’s eyes finally begin leaking tears, his face as pathetic as ever, before he turns and runs down the stairs sobbing heavily. He throws himself onto his bed, gripping his Hinaya Hyuga body pillow close. He buries his head in her two dimensional bust, rubbing snot across said anime tiddies.

Robert: “Oh, Hinata… You’re always there for me…”

Robert switches to a high pitch tone, trying his hardest to mimic a woman.

Hinata Body Pillow: “Your dad just doesn't understand you like we do, Robert-chan”

The young weeb pulls a small action figure of Goku off his headboard and switches to a deeper voice.

Toy Goku: “She’s right, you know. After all you’re one of the strongest fighters in the world, one worthy enough to be called a Z Fighter. Much more worthy than Yamcha for sure.”
Hinata Body Pillow: “And a perfect lover, uwu”

Robert wipes his eyes clean, as he sits up in his bed.

Robert: “You guys are right… if only there was a way to prove to him my mastery in the art of combat…”

Da-Ding

Robert’s head snaps towards his computer so quickly the poor kid probably gave himself whiplash.

Robert: “A message? For me?!”

He slowly sulks his way across the basement, eyes still reddened from earlier. He slumps down into his computer chair, clicking off of his previous tab and pulling up the message.

Robert: “Rumble in the Bronx? Open invite? This is perfect! Finally a chance to prove myself to Father.”

Uchiha looks over and notices his Sailor Moon statue. He lifts her up and reuses the same voice he did for his body pillow.

Sailor Moon Statuette: “This will be easy work for a master of the blade such as yourself, Robert-kun. After all, the competition doesn't look too stiff. I mean that sussy baka Thad is in it. Plus you’re much more handsome.”
Robert: “You got that right, but still… I should train. It’s been too long since I’ve been in the ring… Maybe I can get some lessons from that Eastern guy.”

His voice drops to a growl as he picks up an action figure of Vegeta.

Vegeta Action Figure: “Hahaha! What a splendid idea, hurry call that moon girl and set up a sparring session!”
Sailor Moon Statuette: “Moon Girl?! I’m the only Moon Robert needs.”
Robert: “I’m sorry, but he’s right. I should call Moonlight Rose…”

Robert carefully returns his toys to their original position, before pulling out his phone and making the call. The phone rings a few times, before a voice breaks through the otherside.

Moonlight Rose: “Hello?”
Robert: “Moonlight! It’s me Rober-“
Moonlight Rose: “Robert Uchiha, yeah I know… Caller ID… Also just call me Emiko.”

Robert blushes, as he continues the conversation.

Robert: “Haha, ok, EMIKO…”
Emiko: “Don’t say it like that, it sounds weird.”

Robert: “Right, sorry. So EMIKO… I was hoping you could maybe talk your sensei into training me and helping shake off my rust.”

Emiko: “Oh, well normally I would, but Easton isn’t accepting new applicants. I mean only 4 of us still show up to class.”

Robert's heart sinks into his stomach, as he audibly gulps.

Emiko: “Are you okay?”
Robert: “Haha, have no fear EMIKO-chan! All is well. In fact, I doubt there’s much Mr. Eastern could teach me anyw-“
Emiko: “His name is Easton.”
Robert: “Errr, I knew that. It’s just a nickname I call him sometimes. Me and him go way back!”
Emiko: “Right…”
Robert: “Anyways, thank you EMIKO. I’ll let you go.”
Emiko: “STOP SAYING IT LIK-“

Click

Robert goes limp in his chair, a goofy grin plastered across his face. He reaches over and grabs his Vegeta, and growls to himself

Vegeta Action Figure: “Did she tell you to call her by her real name? You are so in there, man.”
Robert: “Hey, you may be the Prince of all Saiyans but you will show her some respect.”

His other hand again grabs his Sailor Moon statue.

Sailor Moon Statuette: “Ooo, Robert likes her.”
Vegeta Action Figure: “Ha! He just wants to give her his ‘Galick Gun’ if you know what I mean.”
Sailor Moon Statuette: “Ooo, Robert you're so naughty, teehee.”

Robert: “Guys, it’s not like that. She’s just a friend. Besides, she's like a real life anime waifu… and I’m just… Robert…

Robert drops his toys to the floor, as he feels disappointed in himself. After all, who’d wanna be with an unemployed man-child who chokes his chicken to Japanese animation?

Robert: “What’s wrong with me…”

The Grocery Store Filler Episode

Mom: “I’m sorry honey, but we’re out of pizza rolls.”
Robert: “WE’RE OUT!? Mom! What am I going to eat? Do you want me to starve?!”
Mom: “Well, I do have corn dogs in the oven.”

Robert’s face turns sour out of pure disgust.

Robert: “Corn dogs? You’re kidding!”
Mom: “Honey, you’ll be fine.”
Robert: “Why not just go to the store and grab some more pizza rolls?”

His dad’s voice booms from the other room.

Dad: “Why don’t you go get them yourself, you ungrateful little shit.”
Robert: “Fine, I will! Mom, can I borrow some money.”
Mom: “Of course let me get my purse.”
Dad: “Beth, don’t you dare give that boy anything!”

Only a few minutes tick by before Robert’s mom is back with a 20 dollar bill.

Mom: “Here, get two bags.”

Robert snatches the cash and takes off on all fours out the front door and towards his bike. He peddles his way out of his suburbia and towards the local grocery store. Before long he’s roaming the aisles, eye’s scanning far and wide for the sacred Pizza Rolls. Perhaps if he had joined his parents on any of their grocery runs, he’d have found them by now. He glanced down the aisle, reading the labels; Mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, relish…

Robert: “Where the heck are the dang pizza rolls?!”
Unseen Voice: “Frozen aisle.”

Robert looks up and notices a man in a bright blue vest.

Robert: “Excuse me?”
Employee: “Pizza Rolls are in the frozen aisle.”
Robert: “Did I ask for your help, baka?”
Employee: “Uuuh… My name’s Brian.”

Brian points to his clearly labeled nametag.

Brian: “And look man, I’m just trying to help. It’s my job after all.”
Robert: “Am I detecting an attitude? Brian-san, I must warn you, I have honed my skills into becoming a master of the blade and I will not tolerate any disrespect from you.”
Brian: “Oh shit, you’re one of those weebs.”

Robert lifts his fingers to the bridge of his nose as he bows his head. A small smirk upon his lips.

Robert: “Hmmph. The correct term is otaku, and you’ve disrespected me for the last time.”

Robert reaches towards his belt, only to realize he doesn’t have his Katana. His face turns to shock, before deciding to turn around and run across the store, leaning forward with his arms dragging behind. Before long he's made it to the frozen aisle and away from Brian. Before long he spots the pizza rolls and makes his way to the front.

Rumble in the Bronx Arc; Part 2

Robert stands shirtless in a small cleared section of the woods. His knuckles bleed as he continuously punches the side of a tree, his attacks stripping it of bark and painting it crimson. Sweat falls from his face like a waterfall, yet he keeps swinging, hitting the same spot. His phone rings, and he pulls it out reading the text.

Pizza Rolls are done, be home soon?

He stares at the screen, as his stomach rumbles, begging for food. He taps at his screen, writing a response.

Can’t. Training. I’ll be home late.

He slides his phone back into his pocket, his stomach screaming at him and in response he returns to punching the tree.

Robert: “I must train my fists if I want any hope of winning.”

A quick left swing smashes into the tree, sending Robert to a knee as clutches his own hand in anguish. He sits there, seething in pain before rising to his feet and continuing his striking combination, teeth clenching tighter and tighter every time he connects.

Dad: “There you are. Come on, Robert, mom made you pizza rolls.”

Robert looks over his shoulder, eyeing his father as he slowly approaches. He turns around to face him, keeping his eyes locked with his dad’s, with his only visible emotion being anger.

Dad: “You wipe that look of your face, hurry your little ass up and go home before I put my foot up your a-“

His father stops in his tracks, noticing the blood dripping from his son’s knuckles and the stripped spot of the tree.

Dad: “Jesus. What are you doing out here?”
Robert: “Training.”
Dad: “Training for what?”
Robert: “The Rumble in the Bronx.”
Dad: “The wrestling show? Jesus Christ, is this what you’ve been out here doing for a week?”

The dad’s eyes lock onto his son's battered and leaking fists, as the crimson drops into the dirt.

Dad: “Robert, you’re not going to win if you break your hands! What the hell is wrong with you?”
Robert: “I’m tired of being a disappointment.”

His dead shuffles in place, realizing he may have gone too far last week.

Dad: “Son, I was just frustrated when I said that. I had a bad day at work and I brought it home to y-“
Robert: “I’m a disappointment to myself, Dad. I took stock of my life and I’ve realized it’s shit. I’m a loser who plays with toys. I never leave the basement. I’m pathetic.”

Robert starts crying, unable to hold back any of it anymore, as his dad walks up and hugs him.

Dad: “Son… You’re not pathetic.”
Robert: “But I am. I’ve spent a whole week out here training, and all I got to show for it is my blood and sweat.”
Dad: “No son. You’ve shown determination. You’ve worked hard. I’m proud of you.”

Robert’s sobs slowly stop as he stands in his father’s embrace.

Dad: “Come on, let’s get you home.”
Robert: “I can’t. I still have to train. I must give it my best, so I can restore our family's honor that I have tarnished.”

Robert pulls himself from his father and goes back to his tree. Silence lingers between the two of them, before his dad lets out a cough.

Dad: “Well, you’ve got to eat, can’t win if you starve. I’ll bring you some pizza rolls.”

Uchiha stops punching the tree before turning to his dad.

Robert: “Can you bring me something else? What did you and mom have?”

His father stood stunned for a moment.

Dad: “Uhm, well… Your mother made spaghetti and meatballs.”
Robert: “Can I have some?”
Dad: “Of course.”
Robert: “And maybe one of your protein shakes… or two?”
Dad: “You got it, kiddo.”

With that Robert’s father departs through the trees and into their backyard. Yes, the woods are attached to his backyard. The evening turns to night, and soon his father leaves him a big tupperware bowl of spaghetti and meatballs, a gallon of water and a couple protein shakes. Robert quickly puts down all of it next to the warmth of a small fire. Pounds of noodles slide through his puckered lips, as he sucks it down into his belly. He throws the empty container to the side, before rising to his feet, but instead he immediately collapses to a seating position next to his JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure branded backpack. He unzips it and dumps its contents onto the ground. His face fills with gloom as he looks over a good amount of his anime action figures and statues.

Robert: “All my life I've been a joke… But that ends today. I’ve trained harder than I ever have, putting in work to finally take my shot and cement myself as a true warrior. An elite level fighter. They can put anybody in that ring, but I’ll refuse to die. You see I have had the power of God and anime on my side…”

Robert glances down at his toys, before taking a sorrowful gulp.

Robert: “But it’s never been enough. I’ve never won anything. Not the girl, not my family's approval, and certainly not a wrestling match… But all of that will change when I enter the Rumble. 5 winners, and with God as my witness I will sit at the top of all 5 names. Unlike my opponents, I’m fighting for more than glory, I’m fighting for respect. I'd Fight for the respect of my family, of my friends… Of myself! I may not be the biggest dog in this fight, but my spirit is undying. I’ll see this to the bitter end, even if it means crawling on broken bones and losing buckets of my blood…”

Robert grabs some of the posable plastic figures, and begins to run his fingers across their bodies before tossing them into the flames.

Robert: “This is a new era for OCW, where people start to respect my name. I want people to see me on the other side of the ring and begin to worry. I will be taken seriously, and I’ll defeat any sussy baka that crosses my path. I’m a human being, not some NPC in a video game! I’m done taking all this abuse like some stuffed animal for the dogs to tear up and hump in the corner of the room. All that ends NOW!”

Robert takes the remaining toys and dumps all of them into the fire. He stares at his toys as they sit in the center of the secure inferno, his eyes filling with tears. Robert quietly watches as his only companions become stained by soot and burnt to a crisp.

Robert: “My name is Robert Uchiha, and I am no longer a joke.”