Steroid monkeys, Hollywood, Ghosts and an Allton cameo.
Nov 12, 2022 6:07:11 GMT -5
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Post by Dylan Thomas on Nov 12, 2022 6:07:11 GMT -5
I’m not going to deny that life has been tough for me recently. That’s seven back to back losses for me in recent times. Something’s got to give for me, hasn’t it? Something’s got to change….
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Lissandra: Honey, are you OK?
Lissandra is sitting in the back of the Thomas’s limousine looking at her husband as he looks out of the window looking up at the Hollywood sign. A place that used to bring him such joy. It’s where husband and wife came on one of their ‘date nights’ just before they were married (they had been together for a few years though) and it was then that they decided to make Hollywood, California their permanent residence from Greenwich, Connecticut. Dylan continues to stare out at the Hollywood sign, not hearing his wife.
Lissandra: Honey?
Dylan continues looking out of the window, still not answering his wife. Lissandra’s concern grows as her husband remains silent.
Lissandra: BABY!
Finally, Dylan looks round at his wife. Lissandra puts a hand on her husband’s knee giving it a gentle rub.
Dylan: Huh? Sorry. Sorry baby.
Lissandra: That’s OK. You were really spaced out there, huh?
Dylan: Yes, yes I was. I guess so.
Lissandra: What’s the matter with you lately?
Dylan: What’s the matter with me?
Dylan sighs and trails off. He turns to look at the Hollywood sign again before knocking on the separating window between the Thomas’s and George, their ever-faithful corpse-like (at this point) driver. [How old is George these days? Probably too old to be driving a limousine late at night in the dark hills of California, that’s for sure]. George buzzes down the window and Dylan pokes his head through the hole to make sure that George can hear him.
Dylan: Hey, George…..
George: Yes, Sir?
Dylan: Drive up, nearer to the sign will you?
George: Yes, Sir.
With that, George does as he is told and drives up the hill towards the Hollywood sign. Dylan leans back and looks at Lissandra.
Dylan: It's the seven straight losses recently.
Lissandra: It's just a lull. But hey at least this week you have that roided up asshole in Mike Mason.
Dylan: Is he still doing his presidential campaign?
Lissandra: Yeah, he is. You know he called me a 'solid eight' in his last message?
Lissandra begins to laugh and roll her eyes. Dylan looks at his wife with a slight smirk.
Dylan: I dread to think what Muscles McSteroids thinks about me.
================================================================
Meanwhile while the Thomas’s are in their limo, elsewhere in the Hollywood hills, there were other people up there.
Zak Bagans: So… Here on Ghost Adventures today we’re here to look around the Hollywood sign because we’ve heard stories of particular spirits around this area.
================================================================
Dylan and Lissandra Thomas have since stepped out of the limousine and are taking a walk up the hill towards the Hollywood sign. As they walk hand in hand up the hill a dark shadow passes by them but neither Dylan nor Lissandra notices it. Suddenly Zak Bagans of Ghost Adventures rushes up behind them with Aaron Goodwin and the rest of the Ghost Adventures team in tow.
Zak Bagans: Woah! Shit! Did you guys notice that?! That was fucking incredible. Man. A dark shadow just rushed by that couple up ahead. Hey! Hey guys!
Dylan and Lissandra then turn around at the shouting and realise that it is THEM that are being shouted at. Zak Bagans then realises just who he is talking to; he runs up to Dylan and Lissandra with excited glee.
Zak Bagans: Oh! Oh wow! It’s famous wrestling royalty Dylan and Lissandra Thomas from OCW! Guys!
Dylan: You’re Zak Bagans right?
Lissandra: From the show ‘Ghost Adventures’?
Zak Bagans: The same. Hey, we just saw some activity around you. Do you want to be interviewed for the show? It would really help us out!
Dylan and Lissandra look at one another and then look at Zak Bagans with sceptical eyebrows. Lissandra is about to say something when a noise catches everyone off guard. Zak Bagans and the rest of the Ghost Adventures team begin to get excited.
Zak Bagans: OK… look, we’re going to go and check that noise but if you want to take part in our show, join us up at the top of the hill.
With that, Zak Bagans and the Ghost Adventures crew rush up nearer the sign leaving Dylan and Lissandra a little lost for words. Lissandra then pulls out her phone and looks at Dylan with a smile.
Lissandra: Well… that was strange. Shall we take care of the promo while we’re here?
Dylan: Sure.
Lissandra nods and sets up the phone. She nods when she is ready.
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dylan: Mike Mason, the so-called Mecca of Manhood. A man who looks like a Greek God - a statue chiselled out of granite took it upon himself to attack myself and PIC last week on Massacre… But to what end Mason? Because let’s face facts, my friend… NOBODY is going to believe you as OCW champion. You’re a walking brick house man. Oh yeah, you’ve got the body to be a pro-wrestler, Mason but where is the substance? And no, I’m not talking about the ones that you so clearly inject into your body.
You’re good, Mike… I’ll give credit where credit is due. The thing is though, no-one is going to believe that you’re good enough to be OCW Champion. Why? You’re nothing but a caricature, Mason! Hell, a caricature OF a caricature and that scares you, doesn’t it?
Last week, you attacked PIC and me because you’re scared. You’re scared that you won’t have what it takes to last in the ring and I’m wondering, just how long those balloon arms ARE going to last. You say that I can’t last in the bedroom, but you look as if you’re going to blow up at any moment! And speaking of ‘blowing up’....you are at least blowing up in the polls - somehow! Why is it that so many wrestlers, both today AND those of yesteryear go into politics?
Oh well, when your career ends next week when you face me in that ring at least you have a career to fall back on. Next week, I’m winning my match against you, I’m going on to have another match with PIC and this time I AM going to win the big one. You may consider yourself a walking brick wall and the ‘Mecca of Manhood’ but next week on Massacre, Dylan Thomas is going to kick down that walking brick wall and so-called ‘epitome of excellence’ or whatever else you call yourself because while you are focusing on your body - and most likely my wife (an eight? Seriously?!) I’m going to be taking you down with something that actually IS perfect. The Perfect Finisher.
You’re going to find out, my friend, just how wrong you are about me. Mediocre you say? My man you couldn’t be more wrong. Dylan Thomas can and WILL destroy you next week.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: This should be the part where Dylan throws respect at his opponent - how he says how he’ll fight valiantly to give the OCW Faithful a good show. Well, of course the OCW Faithful deserve a great show, but in regard to you? Other than admitting that you are good in the ring, I’ve got nothing else for you but disdain. And I’m sure that breaks your little steroid injected heart.
Mike Mason is the fakest man in pro-wrestling in both body and politics and next week, I’m going to prove it when you burst like a balloon and your entire body deflates all over the OCW arena.
The fact is Mike, is that you are going to fail. You know you’re going to fail, deep down. That’s why you attacked last week.
The following week, then, when I face PIC for the OCW title is going to be a win that is going to be nothing short of Perfection, Personified! See you next week.
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dylan winks into the camera and as Lissandra goes to put her phone away, she sees a dark shadow standing on top of the ‘H’ of the Hollywood sign. The shadow then seems to leap off and Lissandra screams in horror! Startled, Dylan turns around to look at what his wife saw but cannot see anything.
Dylan: What? What did you see?
Lissandra: S-Someone was up there!!
Dylan: Where?
Lissandra: On top of the ‘H’!
Dylan masks his eyes from the lights under the sign and looks up at the sign.
Dylan: That’s impossible babe. No-one is allowed up there that close these days.
Lissandra: Well, someone just was! I saw them leap off!
Dylan: You’re kidding?!
Lissandra: Do I fucking look like I’m joking here, baby?!!
Suddenly a familiar voice from earlier in the night catches the Thomas's attention.
Zak Bagans: What you saw, Mrs Thomas is the ghost of Peg Entwhistle. Former failed Hollywood starlet who committed suicide by jumping off of the Hollywood sign.
Dylan: Come on, Zak. Is that even possible?!
Zak Bagans: Sure it is. There are things in this world that we don't quite understand. We want answers…..
Zak Bagans and Dylan and Lissandra smile at the direct wordplay from the TV show.
Zak Bagans: Besides wasn't it just a few months ago that you were a conduit for African God?
Dylan: OK, point taken.
Zak Bagans: You've got to let me interview you about that sometime. It sounds incredible.
Lissandra begins to fret some more, and grabs hold of her husband`s arm.
Lissandra: I'm sorry! But can we get back onto the matter at hand here, please?! I just watched someone die!
Zak Bagans: Technically no, you didn't. Peg Entwhistle is long gone. Long dead.
Dylan turns to Lissandra with a smile.
Dylan: Much like Mike Mason will be after Monday Night.
Dylan expects to see his wife’s big, beautiful smile at this comment as she normally would do in similar situations, but our dear Lissandra is too freaked out. So, Dylan does what he does best and comforts Lissandra with a hug. The A-List royalty then follow Zak Bagans back up the hill towards the Hollywood sign as the screen fades out. As the screen fades, does the camera catch a glimpse of something following the Hollywood couple? Did we see something? Did we not? Is it the glitz and glamour of the Hollywood hills playing tricks on us? We do not know because the screen fades to black.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It’s the next day and Dylan and Lissandra have added another celebrity to their circle of friends. While out and about getting things ready for Monday night, Lissandra receives a text message to her phone.
‘Hey, Lissie.
Thanks for joining us last night. You guys should come on other nights with us. Z’
Lissandra replies back that maybe they will as they end up at Allton House in Key West. They knock the door as Jefferson answers.
Jefferson: Mr. and Mrs Thomas! Hello!
Dylan: ‘Sup Jefferson? Is Rob around?
Jefferson: Lord Allton is in his study. I shall announce you, Sir.
Lissandra: Thanks.
Jefferson wanders off towards Allton’s office and moments later Allton emerges from his office.
Allton: Dylan! Lissandra! What a pleasant surprise! What can I do for you?
Dylan: We just thought we should tell you, since you’re a big fan of the show and all, we were with Zak Bagans and his crew on Ghost Adventures last night.
Allton: Oh! That’s cool. But you did not fly out all the way to Key West just to tell me what you got up to last night. What’s the matter?
Dylan: You’re right. As you know, I’ve got Mike Mason this week on Massacre…
Allton: Quite. No-one gets that big naturally. That’s not right….
Dylan: So… I need to train in your gym for a bit. With your brand of ‘coaching’ to help me.
Allton smiles broadly.
Allton: Help yourself. Let’s do it.
The screen fades with the three friends heading to the gym. And then another dark shadow seems to float past the camera as we fade completely to black.
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Mason…. I hope you’re ready for this week. Because there is no way that I can lose to a roided-up monkey such as yourself. You’re not the gift to pro-wrestling that you think you are. You have that much stuff inside you that I’m surprised that you haven’t had a heart attack yet.
After Monday night, your wrestling career is going to go about as well as your political one.
Then the screen opens a door and reveals a toilet. The screen fades out to black.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------
Word Count: 2,121
=================================================
Lissandra: Honey, are you OK?
Lissandra is sitting in the back of the Thomas’s limousine looking at her husband as he looks out of the window looking up at the Hollywood sign. A place that used to bring him such joy. It’s where husband and wife came on one of their ‘date nights’ just before they were married (they had been together for a few years though) and it was then that they decided to make Hollywood, California their permanent residence from Greenwich, Connecticut. Dylan continues to stare out at the Hollywood sign, not hearing his wife.
Lissandra: Honey?
Dylan continues looking out of the window, still not answering his wife. Lissandra’s concern grows as her husband remains silent.
Lissandra: BABY!
Finally, Dylan looks round at his wife. Lissandra puts a hand on her husband’s knee giving it a gentle rub.
Dylan: Huh? Sorry. Sorry baby.
Lissandra: That’s OK. You were really spaced out there, huh?
Dylan: Yes, yes I was. I guess so.
Lissandra: What’s the matter with you lately?
Dylan: What’s the matter with me?
Dylan sighs and trails off. He turns to look at the Hollywood sign again before knocking on the separating window between the Thomas’s and George, their ever-faithful corpse-like (at this point) driver. [How old is George these days? Probably too old to be driving a limousine late at night in the dark hills of California, that’s for sure]. George buzzes down the window and Dylan pokes his head through the hole to make sure that George can hear him.
Dylan: Hey, George…..
George: Yes, Sir?
Dylan: Drive up, nearer to the sign will you?
George: Yes, Sir.
With that, George does as he is told and drives up the hill towards the Hollywood sign. Dylan leans back and looks at Lissandra.
Dylan: It's the seven straight losses recently.
Lissandra: It's just a lull. But hey at least this week you have that roided up asshole in Mike Mason.
Dylan: Is he still doing his presidential campaign?
Lissandra: Yeah, he is. You know he called me a 'solid eight' in his last message?
Lissandra begins to laugh and roll her eyes. Dylan looks at his wife with a slight smirk.
Dylan: I dread to think what Muscles McSteroids thinks about me.
================================================================
Meanwhile while the Thomas’s are in their limo, elsewhere in the Hollywood hills, there were other people up there.
Zak Bagans: So… Here on Ghost Adventures today we’re here to look around the Hollywood sign because we’ve heard stories of particular spirits around this area.
================================================================
Dylan and Lissandra Thomas have since stepped out of the limousine and are taking a walk up the hill towards the Hollywood sign. As they walk hand in hand up the hill a dark shadow passes by them but neither Dylan nor Lissandra notices it. Suddenly Zak Bagans of Ghost Adventures rushes up behind them with Aaron Goodwin and the rest of the Ghost Adventures team in tow.
Zak Bagans: Woah! Shit! Did you guys notice that?! That was fucking incredible. Man. A dark shadow just rushed by that couple up ahead. Hey! Hey guys!
Dylan and Lissandra then turn around at the shouting and realise that it is THEM that are being shouted at. Zak Bagans then realises just who he is talking to; he runs up to Dylan and Lissandra with excited glee.
Zak Bagans: Oh! Oh wow! It’s famous wrestling royalty Dylan and Lissandra Thomas from OCW! Guys!
Dylan: You’re Zak Bagans right?
Lissandra: From the show ‘Ghost Adventures’?
Zak Bagans: The same. Hey, we just saw some activity around you. Do you want to be interviewed for the show? It would really help us out!
Dylan and Lissandra look at one another and then look at Zak Bagans with sceptical eyebrows. Lissandra is about to say something when a noise catches everyone off guard. Zak Bagans and the rest of the Ghost Adventures team begin to get excited.
Zak Bagans: OK… look, we’re going to go and check that noise but if you want to take part in our show, join us up at the top of the hill.
With that, Zak Bagans and the Ghost Adventures crew rush up nearer the sign leaving Dylan and Lissandra a little lost for words. Lissandra then pulls out her phone and looks at Dylan with a smile.
Lissandra: Well… that was strange. Shall we take care of the promo while we’re here?
Dylan: Sure.
Lissandra nods and sets up the phone. She nods when she is ready.
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dylan: Mike Mason, the so-called Mecca of Manhood. A man who looks like a Greek God - a statue chiselled out of granite took it upon himself to attack myself and PIC last week on Massacre… But to what end Mason? Because let’s face facts, my friend… NOBODY is going to believe you as OCW champion. You’re a walking brick house man. Oh yeah, you’ve got the body to be a pro-wrestler, Mason but where is the substance? And no, I’m not talking about the ones that you so clearly inject into your body.
You’re good, Mike… I’ll give credit where credit is due. The thing is though, no-one is going to believe that you’re good enough to be OCW Champion. Why? You’re nothing but a caricature, Mason! Hell, a caricature OF a caricature and that scares you, doesn’t it?
Last week, you attacked PIC and me because you’re scared. You’re scared that you won’t have what it takes to last in the ring and I’m wondering, just how long those balloon arms ARE going to last. You say that I can’t last in the bedroom, but you look as if you’re going to blow up at any moment! And speaking of ‘blowing up’....you are at least blowing up in the polls - somehow! Why is it that so many wrestlers, both today AND those of yesteryear go into politics?
Oh well, when your career ends next week when you face me in that ring at least you have a career to fall back on. Next week, I’m winning my match against you, I’m going on to have another match with PIC and this time I AM going to win the big one. You may consider yourself a walking brick wall and the ‘Mecca of Manhood’ but next week on Massacre, Dylan Thomas is going to kick down that walking brick wall and so-called ‘epitome of excellence’ or whatever else you call yourself because while you are focusing on your body - and most likely my wife (an eight? Seriously?!) I’m going to be taking you down with something that actually IS perfect. The Perfect Finisher.
You’re going to find out, my friend, just how wrong you are about me. Mediocre you say? My man you couldn’t be more wrong. Dylan Thomas can and WILL destroy you next week.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: This should be the part where Dylan throws respect at his opponent - how he says how he’ll fight valiantly to give the OCW Faithful a good show. Well, of course the OCW Faithful deserve a great show, but in regard to you? Other than admitting that you are good in the ring, I’ve got nothing else for you but disdain. And I’m sure that breaks your little steroid injected heart.
Mike Mason is the fakest man in pro-wrestling in both body and politics and next week, I’m going to prove it when you burst like a balloon and your entire body deflates all over the OCW arena.
The fact is Mike, is that you are going to fail. You know you’re going to fail, deep down. That’s why you attacked last week.
The following week, then, when I face PIC for the OCW title is going to be a win that is going to be nothing short of Perfection, Personified! See you next week.
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dylan winks into the camera and as Lissandra goes to put her phone away, she sees a dark shadow standing on top of the ‘H’ of the Hollywood sign. The shadow then seems to leap off and Lissandra screams in horror! Startled, Dylan turns around to look at what his wife saw but cannot see anything.
Dylan: What? What did you see?
Lissandra: S-Someone was up there!!
Dylan: Where?
Lissandra: On top of the ‘H’!
Dylan masks his eyes from the lights under the sign and looks up at the sign.
Dylan: That’s impossible babe. No-one is allowed up there that close these days.
Lissandra: Well, someone just was! I saw them leap off!
Dylan: You’re kidding?!
Lissandra: Do I fucking look like I’m joking here, baby?!!
Suddenly a familiar voice from earlier in the night catches the Thomas's attention.
Zak Bagans: What you saw, Mrs Thomas is the ghost of Peg Entwhistle. Former failed Hollywood starlet who committed suicide by jumping off of the Hollywood sign.
Dylan: Come on, Zak. Is that even possible?!
Zak Bagans: Sure it is. There are things in this world that we don't quite understand. We want answers…..
Zak Bagans and Dylan and Lissandra smile at the direct wordplay from the TV show.
Zak Bagans: Besides wasn't it just a few months ago that you were a conduit for African God?
Dylan: OK, point taken.
Zak Bagans: You've got to let me interview you about that sometime. It sounds incredible.
Lissandra begins to fret some more, and grabs hold of her husband`s arm.
Lissandra: I'm sorry! But can we get back onto the matter at hand here, please?! I just watched someone die!
Zak Bagans: Technically no, you didn't. Peg Entwhistle is long gone. Long dead.
Dylan turns to Lissandra with a smile.
Dylan: Much like Mike Mason will be after Monday Night.
Dylan expects to see his wife’s big, beautiful smile at this comment as she normally would do in similar situations, but our dear Lissandra is too freaked out. So, Dylan does what he does best and comforts Lissandra with a hug. The A-List royalty then follow Zak Bagans back up the hill towards the Hollywood sign as the screen fades out. As the screen fades, does the camera catch a glimpse of something following the Hollywood couple? Did we see something? Did we not? Is it the glitz and glamour of the Hollywood hills playing tricks on us? We do not know because the screen fades to black.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It’s the next day and Dylan and Lissandra have added another celebrity to their circle of friends. While out and about getting things ready for Monday night, Lissandra receives a text message to her phone.
‘Hey, Lissie.
Thanks for joining us last night. You guys should come on other nights with us. Z’
Lissandra replies back that maybe they will as they end up at Allton House in Key West. They knock the door as Jefferson answers.
Jefferson: Mr. and Mrs Thomas! Hello!
Dylan: ‘Sup Jefferson? Is Rob around?
Jefferson: Lord Allton is in his study. I shall announce you, Sir.
Lissandra: Thanks.
Jefferson wanders off towards Allton’s office and moments later Allton emerges from his office.
Allton: Dylan! Lissandra! What a pleasant surprise! What can I do for you?
Dylan: We just thought we should tell you, since you’re a big fan of the show and all, we were with Zak Bagans and his crew on Ghost Adventures last night.
Allton: Oh! That’s cool. But you did not fly out all the way to Key West just to tell me what you got up to last night. What’s the matter?
Dylan: You’re right. As you know, I’ve got Mike Mason this week on Massacre…
Allton: Quite. No-one gets that big naturally. That’s not right….
Dylan: So… I need to train in your gym for a bit. With your brand of ‘coaching’ to help me.
Allton smiles broadly.
Allton: Help yourself. Let’s do it.
The screen fades with the three friends heading to the gym. And then another dark shadow seems to float past the camera as we fade completely to black.
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Mason…. I hope you’re ready for this week. Because there is no way that I can lose to a roided-up monkey such as yourself. You’re not the gift to pro-wrestling that you think you are. You have that much stuff inside you that I’m surprised that you haven’t had a heart attack yet.
After Monday night, your wrestling career is going to go about as well as your political one.
Then the screen opens a door and reveals a toilet. The screen fades out to black.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------
Word Count: 2,121