Post by Alice Knight on Apr 22, 2014 0:01:52 GMT -5
Alice comes out of the truth or consequences, municipal air port humming the Sailor Moon theme carrying her gym back. She walks up to her RV twirling her keys. Suddenly a small short stocky bald man with giant seeing glasses pops around the corner.
Stocky Short Bald Man- Excuse me, Alice? Alice Knight?
Alice Knight(looking around suspiciously)- Wait… I’m not about to be served or anything am I? Because I really don’t own anything or… wait a minute, are you a private investigator… ahhh I see now, tracking down the infamous ‘Storm Drain’ murders of Bethel New York, huh? Well I can tell straight that I had nothing to do with those. I swear on John Travoltas eternal soul. (Bald man goes to cut her off but Alice continues) I mean I would never convict myself anyway, plus before I scattered town, I tried helping out with the case, I even reported it on in my college news paper I help run… but that became tedious to report on when bodies kept piling up but no suspects did. (Bald man tries to talk but Alice cuts him off again thinking to herself) Yeah, yeah, I guess I’ve got my pet theories about who actually did it, but in each one, the finger always points back to me, so I tend to keep them to myself. Like I bet your wondering how I got that ‘car’ that belonged to the victim…? And really, how did I get that car if I DIDN’T do the crimes and…
Stocky Short Bald Man(SHOUTING)- MISS KNIGHT! I am no a private investigator… trust me, dear. I’ve been following your Online Championship Wrestling career and I think we should be in business together.
Alice Knight- What. Kind. Of. Business? Because I’m not doing the snuff film ‘thang’ again. Unless I don’t have to audition this time… then, I’ll consider it…
Stocky Short Bald Man- No, Alice. I’m an agent. A Hollywood agent. That’s right. An agent to the big stars… here’s my business card. Names Samuel Grey…
Samuel hands her a card of his.
Alice Knight- This… this says Agent to the Stairs. S.T.A.I.R.S. And… it’s on construction paper, in pencil. Not really a business card, yeah know?
Samuel Grey- Well we also work on and repair stairs for decks. But I’m telling you, I’m starting to get traction around the Hollywood and New York area?
Alice Knight(raising an eyebrow)- Really? Hmmm. Who else do you have contracted?
Samuel Grey(wiping swear away from his forehead)- Some pretty big names. Lark Voorhies…
Alice Knight- LISA TURTLE FROM SAVED BY THE BELL?? No way!
Samuel Grey- YES WAY! Joey Fatone…
Alice Knight- THE JOEY ‘THE FAT-ONE” FATONE FROM NSYNC??!?!
Samuel Grey- YES MA’AM! AND MR. HANKS!
Alice Knight- TOM! TOM HANKS!?!
Samuel Grey(immediately)- Uh, nope! Barry L. Hanks. A food critic out of Alabama. No relation.
Alice Knight- Bummer… that’s a bummer, man. But I have to get going. It’s a long drive to Tombstone, Arizona. It’s nice to meet you. Really. But I have this huge match to train for at this weeks OCW Pay Per View, Total Demolition. It’s a War Games match! WARRRRR GAMES! Team Brianna versus the Family. Should be huge… so yeah, it’s been cool but I gots to go…
Alice starts walking towards her RV but Samuel steps infront of her. Alice raises a fist.
Samuel Grey- Oh I am aware, Alice. I’ve been following the product. And I think it’s pretty safe to say you girls on Team Brianna have the Family’s number.
Alice Knight- I like to think we do, but while we did good holding off the Family tonight on Massacre and stood tall infront of everyone, us in Team Brianna aren’t exactly on the same page either. I mean can we fully trust Mia Stone? I mean I think she’s bad ass in the ring and shouldn’t compromise our victory in any way, but she is gunning for Brianna’s OCW Central championship. And if I have to be honest, her attitude could be a little better. She needs to stop being the tough chick and be the fun-loving-fun lady. Or just lighten up. I did my hilarious robot cowboy dance infront of her not too long ago, and honest to God, not a giggle. Chuckle. Smile. Smirk. Nothing. Nada. Zip. And MJ, who I trust dearly, clearly has a weakness when it comes to Kenshin and her creepy obsessed stalker Ian Bishop, like even tonight she lost her chance at pinning the Southern Champion Pryde because of it. Amber Ryan has her own deal going on with Danny B. I trust her also, plus she’s like one half of the OCW Tag Team champions. Which is pretty rad. And even Brianna and I had our little disagreement and dispute in Vegas this week. And she’s like a sister to me… I mean I think the Family is in an even worse situation… aren’t getting along either. Not all on the same page…
Samuel Grey- Alice. Alice. I know. I know. It’s going to be a difficult challenge for everyone involved. Buuuuut you got to think about the future, hun. I tried to get a hold of you after your Roach match at Black Out 2. You were amazing against Roach… I know you probably didn’t think about it then, but you could have made a lot of money off of it. I mean I know it was personal for you what he did to your car and everything but you got the pin fall and won… it’s just a damn a shame you didn’t get back into the ring until tonight. You were super hot for a while. These crowds, fans, men and women, children and animals who get to see your perform all love you. They love a good under dog story. Why not make a little profit off of it? Eh? Ehhhhh?
Alice Knight(interested)- Profit, huh?
Samuel Grey- You knows it. Commercial deals. Endorsements. Everything you’ve ever wanted. You could even afford to buy a house… well rent an apartment at the very least. Everybody’s going to want a piece of you after OCW Total Demolition when you girls beat the hell out of the Family in that Game War match…
Alice Knight- War… War Games…
Samuel Grey- Yeah, of course. (slaps himself on his own head) STUPID FUCK-HEAD! FUCKING IDIOT, DIP SHIT, ASSHOLE!
Alice Knight(nervous)- Hey, hey, hey! Relax their little fella. Maybe you’re right, I need to think about my future. While I am loyal to Online Championship Wrestling and to President Dean… who has paid me very well lately… I can’t be a living-in-a-RV-awesome-person forever. I need to find a home-home for my ant farm. Cat food and real kitty litter for my swarm of cats that follow me everywhere. You know, the real can and box litter stuff. Not what they use now, which is basically in my RV mini fridge and in full cereal boxes. Don’t tell, Brianna. WINK! (points to her eye as she winks) God, I love how things just even out for me. How things just even out in general, you know? Religion, some people say has caused many wars and fighting. Yes, but it’s also boring to sit through a church service, so it all evens out. Like for instance, the Family, especially that dirt bag Roach ruins my home car and ruins my life… but then Brianna buys me this super nice R.V. And everything evens out again. Or like one moment I’m like depressed because my psychologist, Brianna, tells me I suffer from some unknown addiction called alcoholism. But as Brianna is sleeping, you cheer up because you find a hidden bottle of vodka under the hood of the R.V. that you completely forgotten about. Evens out. The Family for months have caused all kinds of trouble around here in the OCW, and Roach, Ian, Sean, Jason X and I guess even B-Minus if you want to include him, have all been involved. And at OCW Total Demolition, in War Games, it will be the end of their reign on top, thanks to Brianna, myself MJ, Amber and Mia. We finish it this Sunday. I can’t wait personally. I mean I got my revenge on Roach at Black Out 2, and Brianna has proven time and time again that she’s better than all members of the family. Even Mia and MJ got us the upper advantage in the War Games match when they defeated Jason Xavier and Roach a few weeks ago. You see? Do you see? All. Evens. Out.
Samuel Grey- Right.
Alice Knight(nodding proudly)- I have more examples of things evening out if you want to hear them. Like say you’re at a party and you take a bite of salsa that is labeled ‘hot’, and it doesn’t seem that hot, but then about a second or two later it seems REALLY hot. Evens out…
Samuel Grey- Um, that’s not really an example of evening out… just you eating hot salsa and you know what… never mind. I know you ladies have what it takes to disband the Family for good this Sunday. I know you all can do it. But Alice, you’re a young, attractive, talented woman. You can’t mooch off Brianna, you’re friend, sister, partner forever. Trust me, sign with me and the Stairs agency, and we’ll make you a star.
Alice Knight(looking at card again)- Yeah I might consider it. But is it cool if we talk more about this on Sunday? After War Games? After Total Demolition? Or even the Monday afterwards. I’m hoping Team Brianna have a little celebration, even with bandages and stitches that we’ll all likely have over our bruised bodies. Maybe give Mia a few drinky-poos and loosen her up. Maybe we can do some karaoke or something… but I’m telling you, Sam… can I call you Sam? (Samuel nods) This is going to be one rough-tough match to be apart of. Brianna has been explaining me the rules on the road and this isn’t some easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy kind of match. We’re talking about a steal cage, weapons, and ten roofless individuals all in one ring. I’ve never been in a steal cage match before. But you know, I’m a little anxious about getting in there. In the good way, if I didn’t have such a badass team backing us up, Brianna and I, I’d be more nervous that’s for sure. But I’m pretty sure we got this. Our team rocks. The Family is going to have to step up their game big time… and worst part is, minus, well, um, B-Minus, I imagine, since I haven’t really seen much from him, but other than him, they can bring it better than anybody. I know first hand. I’ve been in there with Ian and Roach. Especially that stinking Roach. Stupid Ass-Head. I’m just glad that after Sunday it will finally be over and I can move on to other even-ing-outs. Here’s another one, say one day you ask people to look at the skin rash you have, likely from the allergic reaction you have from wool blankets that you sleep with. Then a few days later you’re looking at THEIR rashes! Classic case of things evening out. Classic case…
Samuel Grey – Again, not really an example of even out, but I get what you mean. I think we can make a lot of money together. So keep that card, call me when you get the chance. I’ll be there in Tombstone to catch your performance. You take care, Alice.
Samuel Grey wobbles away back to his car as Alice watches him and looks at the card again. She stuffs it into her jacket pocket and walks to her R.V and throws her gym bag sloppily into the side door as a sound a screeching cats can be heard within the R.V. She shuts the door quickly, walks to the hood of the R.V and opens it, and snatches out a bottle of vodka as she walks to the front seat as the scene fades out.