Post by Curt Canon on Apr 17, 2014 14:59:35 GMT -5
~The scene opens zoomed in on what appears to be a heavily wooded area. The camera starts to pan around you see Pine Trees, Maple Trees, Oak Trees, Douglas Firs, randomly placed saplings, and all kinds of moss, flowers, branches, sticks (they are not the same thing), and stones. As the camera continues to sweep the area you notice some movement behind a large boulder, you start to hear heavy breathing and exasperating grunts. A shovel gets thrown from behind the boulder, followed by a pick ax and two figures emerge.~
Curt: Whew! I need a break that was exhausting.
James: Exhausting, we have been out here for 10 minutes.
Curt: Feels likes 20.
James: It was 10.
Curt: I have asthma.
James: Since when?
Curt: 2004
James: Impossible...we have been friends since 99', not once, not ever have you said anything about asthma.
Curt: Yes I have.
James: No you haven't.
Curt: Have.
James: I am not doing this with you, but since you all of a sudden have asthma I have a question for you.
Curt: (Sighs) Great, what is it?
James: If 2 minutes of digging makes you exhausted how do you plan on stepping foot in an OCW ring again?
Curt: I don't have asthma when I wrestle.
James: (With a confused/annoyed look in his face.) When do you have asthma?
Curt: Oh ya know when I have to take the trash out, cook dinner, wash dishes, or vacuum...It gets really bad when I have to vacuum.
James: I don't understand how people like you.
Curt: Ha! Me either. ( Looks around then thinks for a second.) I think its over there, grab the shovel and follow me.
~Curt sticks his arm out and points to the right where he begins to walk, James picks up the shovel and the pick ax and starts to follow. They jump a stump, circle around a giant spruce twice continue to walk and finally wind where they started...on the opposite side of the giant boulder.~
James: Seriously?
Curt: What?
James: The other side of the boulder?
Curt: Yeah...I get confused easily, but its defiantly here. Start digging.
James: Why do I have to dig?
Curt: Asthma, remember?
James: Right, asthma....silly me.
Curt: Its okay, I forgive you.
~James starts to dig on the opposite side of the boulder while Curt just sits on top of it watches and starts to hum a circus theme.~
Curt: hum hum hum hum hum circus theme...hum hum hum hum hum circus theme.
James: What are you doing?
Curt: Humming a circus theme.
James: Why?
Curt: Because my first match back is a clown match, there is going to be monkeys and elephants, trampolines and little cars for big clowns....I might see a giraffe. It going to be awesome.
James: The older you get the more you loose your mind.
Curt: I know, isn't it the most...to say the least.
James: You aren't in a clown match, you are in a rodeo clown match. Your opponent is a guy named Richard, he has an orange belt.
Curt: Richard! I miss Richard, we went to high school with him. He was in my German class.
James: That is impossible. This guy is a young up and comer in the OCW there is no way he went to high school with old has beens like us. You took German?
Curt: Nein.
James: Of course.
Curt: Who you calling a has been anyway? Just because you became old and slow and can't hang anymore doesn't make it true for the rest of us.
James: Last time you tried to make a comeback in OCW you were voted most overrated, why do you think Dean is putting you in a match that involves bulls?
Curt: Because I am a Taurus and a bull is my zodiac sign.
James: No, it's because he thinks this run just like your last return is a giant bunch of bullshit. I am saying this as your best friend and your former partner...
Curt: (Cuts James off) Current partner.
James: Former partner. We had our run Curt, I hung up my boots years ago. You might want to think about doing the same before you embarrass yourself and tarnish not only Extremely Dangerous' legacy but most importantly your own.
Curt: Don't you get it James that is the whole point of this, to cement my legacy in this business.
James: You went to Massacre and had a staring contest with Syren.
Curt: Yeah and totally kicked his smarmy cocky ass, my legacy is already starting to build itself.
James: You are delusional...
Curt: True, but I have a mission. For the first time in a long time I am focused. I have one good run left in me and what better place to finish my career then in the place it all began.
James: OCW.
Curt: O...C...W. The things we did in that fed in the short time we were there, the enemies we defeated the friends we made, it has stuck with me. All the traveling we did, all the feds we were in, all the titles I won, you won, we won none of it ever compared to our time in OCW. (Curt takes a deep breathe and looks away for a moment to try to collect his thoughts, he then turns back to James who by the way is still digging.) Ya know, there has always been that one thing that eluded me.
James: (Grunting, and says in a tired voice) The OCW hall of fame?
Curt: That is right James, the OCW hall of fame. Everything I have done in my career won't mean poop if I can't claim my rightful place among the Gods of the ring, one of whom I beat for the OCW Heavyweight Championship...
James: (coughs) Fluke (coughs)
Curt: Did you just say something?
James: What, me? Nah its just all this digging...some dirt got in my throat, had to cough.
Curt: ....Well next time please hold all coughs until the end of my speech.
James: Sorry my mistake, please continue.
Curt: As I was saying. It does not matter what kind of matches Dean thrown me in, or who he puts in my way and it definitely does not matter what color belt they wear. Nothing is going to stand in my way...I will rise like an old tired phoenix from the ashes and cement my place in history....or at least win one more match.
James: That is great, you do realize when I said Richard has an orange belt, it means he knows martial arts right?
Curt: Pssshhh pish posh martial arts martial farts...bet ya he cant karate kick a charging bull can he?
James: Can you?
Curt: Yeah dude. I have seen every episode of Power Rangers, it's just like facing one of Rita Repulsas monsters...pre-growth.
~James shoves the shovel in to the ground one last time and hits something hard.~
James: I think I found it.
Curt: Finally, it took you long enough.
James: Well maybe if i had someone helping me...
Curt: Asthma.
James: Just get down here and help me get it out.
~Curt jumps down from atop the boulder and helps James finish digging the box out. They pull it out of the ground and place it in front of the boulder. Just as Curt is about to unlock the box you hear "The Right Stuff" by New Kids on the Block play.~
James: What the hell is that?
Curt: New Kids on the Block, it's my ring tone.
James: Are you going to answer it?
Curt: Yep.
~Curt reaches into his pocket and pulls his phone out, it is an unknown number. Curt hits answer and with that the screen fades to black.~
Who is on the phone? What is in the box? Is Curt Canon really an idiot?...find out these answers and more in Into The Woods pt. 2: Who is on the phone? What is in the box?
Curt: Whew! I need a break that was exhausting.
James: Exhausting, we have been out here for 10 minutes.
Curt: Feels likes 20.
James: It was 10.
Curt: I have asthma.
James: Since when?
Curt: 2004
James: Impossible...we have been friends since 99', not once, not ever have you said anything about asthma.
Curt: Yes I have.
James: No you haven't.
Curt: Have.
James: I am not doing this with you, but since you all of a sudden have asthma I have a question for you.
Curt: (Sighs) Great, what is it?
James: If 2 minutes of digging makes you exhausted how do you plan on stepping foot in an OCW ring again?
Curt: I don't have asthma when I wrestle.
James: (With a confused/annoyed look in his face.) When do you have asthma?
Curt: Oh ya know when I have to take the trash out, cook dinner, wash dishes, or vacuum...It gets really bad when I have to vacuum.
James: I don't understand how people like you.
Curt: Ha! Me either. ( Looks around then thinks for a second.) I think its over there, grab the shovel and follow me.
~Curt sticks his arm out and points to the right where he begins to walk, James picks up the shovel and the pick ax and starts to follow. They jump a stump, circle around a giant spruce twice continue to walk and finally wind where they started...on the opposite side of the giant boulder.~
James: Seriously?
Curt: What?
James: The other side of the boulder?
Curt: Yeah...I get confused easily, but its defiantly here. Start digging.
James: Why do I have to dig?
Curt: Asthma, remember?
James: Right, asthma....silly me.
Curt: Its okay, I forgive you.
~James starts to dig on the opposite side of the boulder while Curt just sits on top of it watches and starts to hum a circus theme.~
Curt: hum hum hum hum hum circus theme...hum hum hum hum hum circus theme.
James: What are you doing?
Curt: Humming a circus theme.
James: Why?
Curt: Because my first match back is a clown match, there is going to be monkeys and elephants, trampolines and little cars for big clowns....I might see a giraffe. It going to be awesome.
James: The older you get the more you loose your mind.
Curt: I know, isn't it the most...to say the least.
James: You aren't in a clown match, you are in a rodeo clown match. Your opponent is a guy named Richard, he has an orange belt.
Curt: Richard! I miss Richard, we went to high school with him. He was in my German class.
James: That is impossible. This guy is a young up and comer in the OCW there is no way he went to high school with old has beens like us. You took German?
Curt: Nein.
James: Of course.
Curt: Who you calling a has been anyway? Just because you became old and slow and can't hang anymore doesn't make it true for the rest of us.
James: Last time you tried to make a comeback in OCW you were voted most overrated, why do you think Dean is putting you in a match that involves bulls?
Curt: Because I am a Taurus and a bull is my zodiac sign.
James: No, it's because he thinks this run just like your last return is a giant bunch of bullshit. I am saying this as your best friend and your former partner...
Curt: (Cuts James off) Current partner.
James: Former partner. We had our run Curt, I hung up my boots years ago. You might want to think about doing the same before you embarrass yourself and tarnish not only Extremely Dangerous' legacy but most importantly your own.
Curt: Don't you get it James that is the whole point of this, to cement my legacy in this business.
James: You went to Massacre and had a staring contest with Syren.
Curt: Yeah and totally kicked his smarmy cocky ass, my legacy is already starting to build itself.
James: You are delusional...
Curt: True, but I have a mission. For the first time in a long time I am focused. I have one good run left in me and what better place to finish my career then in the place it all began.
James: OCW.
Curt: O...C...W. The things we did in that fed in the short time we were there, the enemies we defeated the friends we made, it has stuck with me. All the traveling we did, all the feds we were in, all the titles I won, you won, we won none of it ever compared to our time in OCW. (Curt takes a deep breathe and looks away for a moment to try to collect his thoughts, he then turns back to James who by the way is still digging.) Ya know, there has always been that one thing that eluded me.
James: (Grunting, and says in a tired voice) The OCW hall of fame?
Curt: That is right James, the OCW hall of fame. Everything I have done in my career won't mean poop if I can't claim my rightful place among the Gods of the ring, one of whom I beat for the OCW Heavyweight Championship...
James: (coughs) Fluke (coughs)
Curt: Did you just say something?
James: What, me? Nah its just all this digging...some dirt got in my throat, had to cough.
Curt: ....Well next time please hold all coughs until the end of my speech.
James: Sorry my mistake, please continue.
Curt: As I was saying. It does not matter what kind of matches Dean thrown me in, or who he puts in my way and it definitely does not matter what color belt they wear. Nothing is going to stand in my way...I will rise like an old tired phoenix from the ashes and cement my place in history....or at least win one more match.
James: That is great, you do realize when I said Richard has an orange belt, it means he knows martial arts right?
Curt: Pssshhh pish posh martial arts martial farts...bet ya he cant karate kick a charging bull can he?
James: Can you?
Curt: Yeah dude. I have seen every episode of Power Rangers, it's just like facing one of Rita Repulsas monsters...pre-growth.
~James shoves the shovel in to the ground one last time and hits something hard.~
James: I think I found it.
Curt: Finally, it took you long enough.
James: Well maybe if i had someone helping me...
Curt: Asthma.
James: Just get down here and help me get it out.
~Curt jumps down from atop the boulder and helps James finish digging the box out. They pull it out of the ground and place it in front of the boulder. Just as Curt is about to unlock the box you hear "The Right Stuff" by New Kids on the Block play.~
James: What the hell is that?
Curt: New Kids on the Block, it's my ring tone.
James: Are you going to answer it?
Curt: Yep.
~Curt reaches into his pocket and pulls his phone out, it is an unknown number. Curt hits answer and with that the screen fades to black.~
Who is on the phone? What is in the box? Is Curt Canon really an idiot?...find out these answers and more in Into The Woods pt. 2: Who is on the phone? What is in the box?
