Post by CYPHER on Jul 14, 2022 8:44:26 GMT -5
July, 2022
Ohio, Cincinnati
Cypher and Dot waved goodbye to Thaddeus and Lauren Duke, thanking them for dropping them back to their hotel in the company limo. The night had been one of drinking and celebration after Sahara’s victory in her OCW debut against Claudius Augustus. What had become evident throughout the night, however, was that she didn’t realise her next match was actually going to be against Cypher. He had dared CJ to blink and he hadn’t, putting him in a tough situation - a match against someone he genuinely considered a friend.
He wondered about this aloud as he collapsed onto the Queen bed, kicking off the forever unnecessary hotel soap that always made its way on top of the covers.
“I don’t think she even realises…like, seriously? How is that even possible? Does she not watch the show?!”
Dot simply shrugged, more concerned with the process of freeing herself from her signature sky blue dress.
“I mean, how could she not be watching my segment? It was only the most important part of the whole show. I got CJ so good…then he had to go and pull that bullshit, what a pussy.”
Dot sighed, finally freeing herself from the confines of her clothing. She threw on a satin short set and went about washing her face.
“You alright babe?”
“I’m just sick of folks talkin’ bout you and Sahara.”
Cypher sat up as Dot walked back into the bedroom. She stood in the doorway, leaning on the wall with her arms crossed. He felt a mild sense of anxiety whenever Dot gave him the look she was giving him now...though ever since she "accidentally" stabbed him he'd often felt anxiety around her.
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“They all say you’re banging her, even Lauren herself be makin’ jokes that you two got it on.”
Cypher chuckled, though at the same time he felt somewhat guilty. Sahara Duke was a sexy lady, no question. There had been some tasty back and forth between them on Twitter - in fact it was partly how he had become friends with Thad. He literally thought he was asking for a threesome based on his interactions with Lauren.
“That’s just Twitter babe.”
“But it’s ya friends too.”
“They’re just fucking around.”
“When they yer banging the owner’s wife, that doesn’t bother ya?”
“I take it as a compliment, the same dudes who say I look like a demented pug are suggesting I’m fucking one of the hottest chicks in the buiness.”
“I just think you need to associate with better people.”
“Do you not trust me? Do you actually think I’m banging her?”
Dot sat down next to him and grabbed his hand tightly.
“Of course I trust you, Tyler.”
She then leant in close to his ear, her hot breath tingling his neck.
“You’re still breathin, ain’t cha?”
Dot planted a loving kiss on his cheek and laughed that laugh that both thrilled him and terrified him all at once.
“Uhhh…yeah.”
...
"Does that mean you're over it and we can-
"Ya know what would be really sexy?"
"What?"
"If you kicked her ass at Massacre."
/~/
//Loading...
/Ready...
Run.
The camera opens to CYPH3R standing directly in front of it, the TransAtlantic Championship slung over his shoulder. Behind him the walls are covered with cheesy wallpaper featuring a series of circus animals riding tricycles. Elephants, giraffes and bears are following each other in a line, cheerful expressions on their faces. Behind Cypher we can get a glimpse of children’s toys lying discarded on the floor.
“Welcome to the inside of Sahara Duke’s mind, my name is CYPH3R. I’ll be your tour guide as we take a shallow dive into the miniscule depths of Lauren’s brain.”
He stands aside, revealing a wooden cot in the centre of the room. He walks over to it and the cameraman follows him, revealing a fully-grown Sahara with a pacifier shoved in her mouth inside.
“This is a representation of the age of Sahara’s brain. Generally most people’s brains age as they physically age, but as you can see, hers has not.”
The Superior Tour Guide leaves the crib and walks over to the left wall. He leans down to a door which is tiny, barely a foot off the ground and not that wide either. He bends down and grabs the tiny handle, opening the door and revealing a cramped space that leads off into darkness.
“There’s probably only room for one in here.”
CYPH3R grabs the camera and gets down on his hands and knees. We can see the small opening begin to widen as he crawls forward, muttering to himself. Finally the space beyond begins to open up slightly, and he manages to stand up. The room is barely big enough for one person, and the walls are cold and metallic. There are signs of rust on the metal, and the only light is coming from electrical sparks in the centre of the room.
“There’s gotta be a switch somewhere…”
He feels around the degrading walls until he finally finds a switch. As light pours into the room a cerebro-type machine is revealed. The complicated machine is in disarray, the circular device that would normally sit atop Sahara’s head has experienced some kind of explosion. Pieces of metal are hanging off it and frayed wires can be seen within.
“So this is where she goes when she’s thinking about other topics instead of Thad. I’m not exactly sure what happened here but it wouldn't surprise me if after she called that pic of space on Twitter “a bunch of lights and a lens flair” that it just gave up."
CYPH3R tentatively reaches out to touch the machine but another large burst of electricity causes him to back up.
"Anyway, I think you get the picture, let’s move into the last room…this is the bit I really wasn’t looking forward to, but for all you viewers at home I’m prepared to venture in.”
On the other side of the room another door opens up into a…beach? Huh? He promised us something messed up!
“Now I know this looks normal to you idiot viewers out there, but what you don’t realise? That’s not water. That came from-
An enormous jet of…liquid…shoots into the air as a giant whale breaches the surface. The whale winks at CYPH3R as the liquid continues to shoot out of its blowhole.
“Yeah, uh, that’s a horn-whale alright. This space is home to probably the biggest of its kind in existence. You can’t see from where we are, but that whale’s been playing with Thad Duke for months on end. Except when it gets tired of him for a little while and drags some other poor motherfucker down there.”
CYPH3R sighs, shaking his head.
“It’s so sad what she does to the male species.”
A loud noise from behind CYPH3R can be heard and suddenly a stream of liquid falls directly onto his head. The Superior Design is completely soaked, the moisture penetrating right through his hoodie. He’s left a dripping mess and the disdain is evident in his eyes when he looks up to the camera.
“I fucking hate when she squirts."
Screwing up his face in disgust, CYPH3R stomps down the beach and through a door built into a seemingly invisible wall. He makes his way back to the first room where Sahara lays in the crib. He tosses the camera to his cameraman and barks at him to “keep rolling”.
CYPH3R leans over the side of the crib and holds his TA title right in front of little Sahara’s baby blue eyes.
“See Lauren, I would have been happy for either one of us to throw this match. Maybe even cut a dual promo on CJ in the ring just to really send a message that he can’t fuck with us. But as usual you’re using your miniscule brain to guide your decision making. Not that I should be surprised, you almost got yourself disqualified in your debut. Though, to be fair, you do have a history of grabbing other dude’s dicks behind Thad’s back. I’m living proof of that, right?”
CYPH3R smirks, then turns his attention to the camera.
“CJ, I guess you’re rejoicing. You pulled a coward’s move and instead of having me fight one of your Paramount lackeys you made the frankly unfair decision to force me to fight my friend. Honestly pathetic, you obviously don’t have faith that any of your teammates could get the job done. Why not send Ed at me? Wanna protect his feelings? Afraid I’d dumpster him? Probably a combination of the two, let’s be honest. Now I guess we both have to pull baby duty.”
CYPH3R’s promo is interrupted by the sounds of crying coming from the crib. He returns to Sahara’s side, who is now having a full blown tantrum.
“Hey, hey it’s OK.”
CYPH3R pulls out a rattle with Thad’s face on it, and hands it to Sahara. Almost immediately she stops crying and a big smile appears on her face. Satisfied, CYPH3R turns back to the camera.
“Don’t worry Thad, I didn’t forget about you. You can stop painting yourself as being on the moral high ground here, you’re trying to hand your wife a shot at my TA title in her second match with the company. Bruh, newsflash, she could beat Claudius 100 times and I still wouldn’t give her a shot. I’m the goddamn TA Champion, and that means I’m better than you, and I’m better than anyone else who isn’t a champion in this company. Remember that next time you try to screw me over.”
The Superior Design walks over to a door that has a large green exit sign above it. As he turns to leave, he looks back at the camera one last time.
“That concludes your tour for today, remember, no refunds. Oh, and I’ll see you for beers after Massacre, Thaddy, Sahara. We can all celebrate my victory together.”
CYPH3R slams the door shut behind him and the camera cuts to black.
Ohio, Cincinnati
Cypher and Dot waved goodbye to Thaddeus and Lauren Duke, thanking them for dropping them back to their hotel in the company limo. The night had been one of drinking and celebration after Sahara’s victory in her OCW debut against Claudius Augustus. What had become evident throughout the night, however, was that she didn’t realise her next match was actually going to be against Cypher. He had dared CJ to blink and he hadn’t, putting him in a tough situation - a match against someone he genuinely considered a friend.
He wondered about this aloud as he collapsed onto the Queen bed, kicking off the forever unnecessary hotel soap that always made its way on top of the covers.
“I don’t think she even realises…like, seriously? How is that even possible? Does she not watch the show?!”
Dot simply shrugged, more concerned with the process of freeing herself from her signature sky blue dress.
“I mean, how could she not be watching my segment? It was only the most important part of the whole show. I got CJ so good…then he had to go and pull that bullshit, what a pussy.”
Dot sighed, finally freeing herself from the confines of her clothing. She threw on a satin short set and went about washing her face.
“You alright babe?”
“I’m just sick of folks talkin’ bout you and Sahara.”
Cypher sat up as Dot walked back into the bedroom. She stood in the doorway, leaning on the wall with her arms crossed. He felt a mild sense of anxiety whenever Dot gave him the look she was giving him now...though ever since she "accidentally" stabbed him he'd often felt anxiety around her.
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“They all say you’re banging her, even Lauren herself be makin’ jokes that you two got it on.”
Cypher chuckled, though at the same time he felt somewhat guilty. Sahara Duke was a sexy lady, no question. There had been some tasty back and forth between them on Twitter - in fact it was partly how he had become friends with Thad. He literally thought he was asking for a threesome based on his interactions with Lauren.
“That’s just Twitter babe.”
“But it’s ya friends too.”
“They’re just fucking around.”
“When they yer banging the owner’s wife, that doesn’t bother ya?”
“I take it as a compliment, the same dudes who say I look like a demented pug are suggesting I’m fucking one of the hottest chicks in the buiness.”
“I just think you need to associate with better people.”
“Do you not trust me? Do you actually think I’m banging her?”
Dot sat down next to him and grabbed his hand tightly.
“Of course I trust you, Tyler.”
She then leant in close to his ear, her hot breath tingling his neck.
“You’re still breathin, ain’t cha?”
Dot planted a loving kiss on his cheek and laughed that laugh that both thrilled him and terrified him all at once.
“Uhhh…yeah.”
...
"Does that mean you're over it and we can-
"Ya know what would be really sexy?"
"What?"
"If you kicked her ass at Massacre."
/~/
//Loading...
/Ready...
Run.
The camera opens to CYPH3R standing directly in front of it, the TransAtlantic Championship slung over his shoulder. Behind him the walls are covered with cheesy wallpaper featuring a series of circus animals riding tricycles. Elephants, giraffes and bears are following each other in a line, cheerful expressions on their faces. Behind Cypher we can get a glimpse of children’s toys lying discarded on the floor.
“Welcome to the inside of Sahara Duke’s mind, my name is CYPH3R. I’ll be your tour guide as we take a shallow dive into the miniscule depths of Lauren’s brain.”
He stands aside, revealing a wooden cot in the centre of the room. He walks over to it and the cameraman follows him, revealing a fully-grown Sahara with a pacifier shoved in her mouth inside.
“This is a representation of the age of Sahara’s brain. Generally most people’s brains age as they physically age, but as you can see, hers has not.”
The Superior Tour Guide leaves the crib and walks over to the left wall. He leans down to a door which is tiny, barely a foot off the ground and not that wide either. He bends down and grabs the tiny handle, opening the door and revealing a cramped space that leads off into darkness.
“There’s probably only room for one in here.”
CYPH3R grabs the camera and gets down on his hands and knees. We can see the small opening begin to widen as he crawls forward, muttering to himself. Finally the space beyond begins to open up slightly, and he manages to stand up. The room is barely big enough for one person, and the walls are cold and metallic. There are signs of rust on the metal, and the only light is coming from electrical sparks in the centre of the room.
“There’s gotta be a switch somewhere…”
He feels around the degrading walls until he finally finds a switch. As light pours into the room a cerebro-type machine is revealed. The complicated machine is in disarray, the circular device that would normally sit atop Sahara’s head has experienced some kind of explosion. Pieces of metal are hanging off it and frayed wires can be seen within.
“So this is where she goes when she’s thinking about other topics instead of Thad. I’m not exactly sure what happened here but it wouldn't surprise me if after she called that pic of space on Twitter “a bunch of lights and a lens flair” that it just gave up."
CYPH3R tentatively reaches out to touch the machine but another large burst of electricity causes him to back up.
"Anyway, I think you get the picture, let’s move into the last room…this is the bit I really wasn’t looking forward to, but for all you viewers at home I’m prepared to venture in.”
On the other side of the room another door opens up into a…beach? Huh? He promised us something messed up!
“Now I know this looks normal to you idiot viewers out there, but what you don’t realise? That’s not water. That came from-
An enormous jet of…liquid…shoots into the air as a giant whale breaches the surface. The whale winks at CYPH3R as the liquid continues to shoot out of its blowhole.
“Yeah, uh, that’s a horn-whale alright. This space is home to probably the biggest of its kind in existence. You can’t see from where we are, but that whale’s been playing with Thad Duke for months on end. Except when it gets tired of him for a little while and drags some other poor motherfucker down there.”
CYPH3R sighs, shaking his head.
“It’s so sad what she does to the male species.”
A loud noise from behind CYPH3R can be heard and suddenly a stream of liquid falls directly onto his head. The Superior Design is completely soaked, the moisture penetrating right through his hoodie. He’s left a dripping mess and the disdain is evident in his eyes when he looks up to the camera.
“I fucking hate when she squirts."
Screwing up his face in disgust, CYPH3R stomps down the beach and through a door built into a seemingly invisible wall. He makes his way back to the first room where Sahara lays in the crib. He tosses the camera to his cameraman and barks at him to “keep rolling”.
CYPH3R leans over the side of the crib and holds his TA title right in front of little Sahara’s baby blue eyes.
“See Lauren, I would have been happy for either one of us to throw this match. Maybe even cut a dual promo on CJ in the ring just to really send a message that he can’t fuck with us. But as usual you’re using your miniscule brain to guide your decision making. Not that I should be surprised, you almost got yourself disqualified in your debut. Though, to be fair, you do have a history of grabbing other dude’s dicks behind Thad’s back. I’m living proof of that, right?”
CYPH3R smirks, then turns his attention to the camera.
“CJ, I guess you’re rejoicing. You pulled a coward’s move and instead of having me fight one of your Paramount lackeys you made the frankly unfair decision to force me to fight my friend. Honestly pathetic, you obviously don’t have faith that any of your teammates could get the job done. Why not send Ed at me? Wanna protect his feelings? Afraid I’d dumpster him? Probably a combination of the two, let’s be honest. Now I guess we both have to pull baby duty.”
CYPH3R’s promo is interrupted by the sounds of crying coming from the crib. He returns to Sahara’s side, who is now having a full blown tantrum.
“Hey, hey it’s OK.”
CYPH3R pulls out a rattle with Thad’s face on it, and hands it to Sahara. Almost immediately she stops crying and a big smile appears on her face. Satisfied, CYPH3R turns back to the camera.
“Don’t worry Thad, I didn’t forget about you. You can stop painting yourself as being on the moral high ground here, you’re trying to hand your wife a shot at my TA title in her second match with the company. Bruh, newsflash, she could beat Claudius 100 times and I still wouldn’t give her a shot. I’m the goddamn TA Champion, and that means I’m better than you, and I’m better than anyone else who isn’t a champion in this company. Remember that next time you try to screw me over.”
The Superior Design walks over to a door that has a large green exit sign above it. As he turns to leave, he looks back at the camera one last time.
“That concludes your tour for today, remember, no refunds. Oh, and I’ll see you for beers after Massacre, Thaddy, Sahara. We can all celebrate my victory together.”
CYPH3R slams the door shut behind him and the camera cuts to black.