Post by “The Scorpion” Veronica Cain on Jul 13, 2022 20:36:12 GMT -5
OOC: Feels weird not to post here for big matches.
Key West Elementary
Key West, FL USA
Wednesday, July 13th, 2022
Veronica Strader sits in front of a 2nd Grade Class, a book in her lap with all the little boys and girls sitting cross-legged, wide-eyed, looking up at the OCW Superstar, the greatest TransAtlantic Champion in the company’s history. She smiles at the class as their tiny Latina teacher, Miss Alvarez, stands in front of her, getting the kids to quiet down.
“Alright, class, today we have a special guest. She is a fourth-generation professional wrestler for… what’s it called?” she turns to ask Veronica.
“OCW,” she says with a smirk.
“OCW!”
The children are obviously OCW Faithful spawn as they give a pop for the most incredible wrestling promotion today.
“Ms. Veronica Strader is here on behalf of the efforts of OCW to give back to random communities after destroying a small tropical island's habitat just a few months ago. Today she will read you a fairytale about love, vengeance, and victory but not necessarily in that order. Please give Ms. Strader a very warm Key West Crabs welcome!”
The kids lift their little hands, snapping their fingers, moving their arms out like little crabs but not the same crabs Lou Pohl’s mustache cleans up.
“Welcome, Ms. Strader!!!!”
“Aww, you’re sweet. You can call me Ronnie or Veronica, whatever your sweet little hearts desire. Today I’m here because OCW made some abysmal decisions, and stars like me are strongarmed into giving back. Still, I’m happy to read all you munchkins a story," She gets out of the chair and sits on the floor with the kids on their level. “It’s a fairytale partially written by my Auntie Tamika, another OCW Superstar, after eating one of my sister’s edibles!”
She holds up the book showing the cover, which depicts a beautiful warrior Queen that looks a lot like Veronica and a beastly fat man that looks like King Robert Baratheon and Bifford but four times as fat as the Game of Thrones character who is munching on a “chicken” thigh who is obviously Bifford.
“It’s called “Queen Verona and Bifftilla The Tonne,” and I know you’ll just love it,” her voice filled with excitement as she opened the book and began to read. “In the land of Massacaria, the people had come to worship the King, Outcastius, and his Queen, Verona. They had always taken much pride in the realm that had given them everything they wanted. This was a fighting realm, you see, and to lead the people, you had to beat a few of them senseless every so often.”
She holds the book up, moving it from one side to the other, showing the kids the picture of King and Queen standing in puddles of blood, triumphant in victories. A few children look horrified, but the others' little bloodthirsty eyes light up.
“Everything was going great for the pair; no one could beat them in the coliseums of Massacaria and planned to lead for the foreseeable future, but two men connected to the pasts of our King and Queen came out of the woodworks. Daniel The Dangerous is a man obsessed with taking down the daughter of Megasonius and niece to Tamikacana because he never could take anyone of the bloodline down before.”
The children gasp at the picture of a man in hot pink short-shorts, a crudely painted face and a man bun.
“The other was Bifftilla The Tonne, a disgusting blob of a man (if you could even call him that) from the King’s past who taunted him as a young prince. He also owned a slave camp of homeless little people he slaughtered and killed, selling their flesh as “chicken” in the taverns spread around Massacaria,” she says with a sad voice as she shows them the picture of Bifftilla eating what is obviously the leg of a little person like a medieval king would eat a drumstick of chicken. The children gasp at the horror that is this very fat evil man.
“Bifftilla challenged the King, and with his mighty weight, he was able to take Outcastia down. The former King vanished into thin air, leaving Queen Verona alone and vulnerable, allowing Daniel the Dangerous to take her tiara,” her voice grim in the revelation. The kids look disturbed as the sides of Bifftilla’s sweaty belly spill over the throne he took from Outcastia. Daniel The Dangerous lays over his great belly, tracing hearts down his nasty treasure trail like Jabba the Hutt and Slave Leia.
“Queen Verona fell into a depression; her lover and king had disappeared after his defeat, and she had lost her own crown to a man Bifftilla had beaten into submission (seventeen times according to The Tonne), and it wasn’t until the mighty BRIMSTONE THE BEAR,” she says, lifting her arms, fingers outstretched and arched imitating a bear’s claws and growls (think John Candy in the Great Outdoors). Some of the children cringe, but a number of them oddly look like mini-Hoods, and they dig it.
“Fuck yeah! Bears!”
“Billy! Language!”
“Was put in our hero’s path! He provided a unique opportunity for the true Queen of the realm! Not like these wannabe Queens that have flooded in, turning Massacaria into Disneytopia... thankfully not near as much Jew-hating. Even if Bifftilla would spout all day how he whipped Daniel The Dangerous into his submission and that she lost in the arena to him, he would also conveniently forget that she had gone to war with TLS and came out the victor. Queen Verona also beat a Goliath in that of BRIMSTONE when it took everything for Bifftilla to defeat THE BEAR!!!”
The children approve of Queen Verona and BRIMSTONE THE BEAR in fighting positions in the middle of the coliseum.
“Now, with Queen Verona approaching The Tonne’s land, she knew she had but only one chance to slay this monster in the name of her King Outcastia but most importantly, it was a chance to fulfill the legend of returning the realm to its people and not this cannibalistic Mad Titan. What ever was she supposed to do?” She asks, looking toward the children. “Yes, you, who looks like she could be Hood’s kid.”
“Have you considered Alice Knight as part of the problem?”
“Oh, for sure, you are his spawn. I have not because that is just silly; just stay away from the mustard. Now, you see, Bifftilla was as smart as he was fat that he set up his inner circle to take the fall for supplying Little People as a replacement to real chickens. To be fair, everyone was a little person in front of him. But our hero knew he had to be stopped!” she throws her arms up, emphasizing her point. “With the help of her mother, auntie and a legion of sisters, they were able to pierce through, and now our Queen Verona was standing at the doors of the palace’s main room beyond, but that is where our story ends.”
Some kids yell “WEAK ASS BOOKING” but the self-proclaimed Queen of OCW does her best to calm them.
“See, I think it’s because the edibles wore off on my auntie, but she swears it’s up to me for how the story ends. See kids, Bifford is a real threat, like my Auntie Tee described as Bifftilla The Tonne. He has taken OCW with his fat, greasy, sweaty hands and has an iron grip on the championship that should still be around Outcast’s waist. You see, kids, Plethora, Bifford, whatever you want to call him, picked Dan and me to have a title shot because he knew Dan would never say yes, feeling the champion is trolling him. With me... I doubt he thought I would say yes. But I did, didn’t I?” she asks, holding up the palms of her hands as the school kids give her a pop that feels like it could be from tens of thousands of OCW Faithful in Kansas City, Missouri.
“When Victoria and I came to OCW, it was to start anew, get away from the first year that was a bad start to our career. We survived the PURGE. I took the TransAtlantic title and successfully made it the hottest thing in the company, going 14-0 and holding it for half a year. That wasn't a fluke, kiddies. That was me showing why I am the greatest wrestler in the Strader Family and OCW.”
“But didn’t you lose to CYPH3R and Dangerous Dan?” one of the snot-nosed Mini-Hoods asks.
“Winning streaks aren’t what they seem to be. They are a distraction. It distracted me, and I am no longer the TransAtlantic champion, but once that monkey was shaken from my back, I came out and I made short work of a man that almost dethroned Bifford in BRIM. I also went to war with the Lost Stranger. And I won. You see, kids, Dan did get into my head a bit, took advantage of a situation and stole my title. I promise that won’t happen again. Did Plethora the Perilous pick me, hoping with my anger toward OCW I wouldn’t accept his offer? Did he pick me because he thinks his multiple victories over the FORMER TransAtlantic champion mean it’s guaranteed for him to beat me? Possibly, but the one thing for sure, kids… is that no matter what, win or loss, we can only better ourselves by taking the world on, especially when the odds seem to be stacked against you.”
“Umm, that is a great message, but why are you telling the kids that, in this way?” Miss Alvarez asks, lifting her head from what is probably vodka in her Circle K large orange slushy. Veronica looks back at her.
“They are the next generation of OCW Faithful, and they will know my name, Miss Alvarez.”
She turns back to the kids and smiles at them.
“Thank you so much for having me, and all of you, including your parents, will have tickets to the next Massacre when it comes home to Key West. So when you tune into Massacre on Monday, who will you cheer for to become the face of the company and to save the roster from this horrible man?”
“VERONICA STRADER!” they yell.
“THE RAGING SKULL!” another kid responds.
Veronica ignores the last one but laughs internally.
“Damn straight. Because kids, there’s one thing everyone should always remember about me that these guys learned the hard way: TLS, Dylan Thomas, BRIM, Supreme Machine and others already know it, and soon it will be a lesson that The Big Bifford will learn painfully… God? He God forgives.”
“I DON’T.”
Veronica can’t hide the smile that is behind her sneer. She stands up, and the children storm her to give Veronica a big hug. She nods to the teacher and leaves the classroom after she tussles a few heads of hair. Tamika Strader is standing in the hallway playing on her phone when she looks up to see her niece.
“So, how did it go?”
“OCW should be happy with the outcome. Still making up for the destruction of Milftown Island.”
“Kids like my story?”
“Yeah, they did but probably would’ve liked a finished one,” she says with a chuckle.
“I told you, you will write the ending on Monday. You got this, kiddo; you have the best odds of anyone to take the title from him. If you don't, you’ll still show everyone why you are a future Hall of Fame inductee in OCW,” she says, putting her arm around Veronica. Tamika loved their newfound closeness.
“Thanks, Auntie Teebag. Let’s go to the arena; I want to get some training in.”
"The name in the hat bit was pretty funny though, not gonna lie. Veronica Strader, Veronica Strader --- they are supposed to say Dan!" she says, doing her best "Big Bifford."
The Craze Champion gets a playful elbow to her side from the possible future OCW Champion if she could be so lucky. They make their way out of the school with the OCW title at the forefront of Veronica’s mind.
“This homeless murdering bastard can’t go on. This is not just for me, Christian; it’s for you too. I love and miss you, babe.”
Key West Elementary
Key West, FL USA
Wednesday, July 13th, 2022
Veronica Strader sits in front of a 2nd Grade Class, a book in her lap with all the little boys and girls sitting cross-legged, wide-eyed, looking up at the OCW Superstar, the greatest TransAtlantic Champion in the company’s history. She smiles at the class as their tiny Latina teacher, Miss Alvarez, stands in front of her, getting the kids to quiet down.
“Alright, class, today we have a special guest. She is a fourth-generation professional wrestler for… what’s it called?” she turns to ask Veronica.
“OCW,” she says with a smirk.
“OCW!”
The children are obviously OCW Faithful spawn as they give a pop for the most incredible wrestling promotion today.
“Ms. Veronica Strader is here on behalf of the efforts of OCW to give back to random communities after destroying a small tropical island's habitat just a few months ago. Today she will read you a fairytale about love, vengeance, and victory but not necessarily in that order. Please give Ms. Strader a very warm Key West Crabs welcome!”
The kids lift their little hands, snapping their fingers, moving their arms out like little crabs but not the same crabs Lou Pohl’s mustache cleans up.
“Welcome, Ms. Strader!!!!”
“Aww, you’re sweet. You can call me Ronnie or Veronica, whatever your sweet little hearts desire. Today I’m here because OCW made some abysmal decisions, and stars like me are strongarmed into giving back. Still, I’m happy to read all you munchkins a story," She gets out of the chair and sits on the floor with the kids on their level. “It’s a fairytale partially written by my Auntie Tamika, another OCW Superstar, after eating one of my sister’s edibles!”
She holds up the book showing the cover, which depicts a beautiful warrior Queen that looks a lot like Veronica and a beastly fat man that looks like King Robert Baratheon and Bifford but four times as fat as the Game of Thrones character who is munching on a “chicken” thigh who is obviously Bifford.
“It’s called “Queen Verona and Bifftilla The Tonne,” and I know you’ll just love it,” her voice filled with excitement as she opened the book and began to read. “In the land of Massacaria, the people had come to worship the King, Outcastius, and his Queen, Verona. They had always taken much pride in the realm that had given them everything they wanted. This was a fighting realm, you see, and to lead the people, you had to beat a few of them senseless every so often.”
She holds the book up, moving it from one side to the other, showing the kids the picture of King and Queen standing in puddles of blood, triumphant in victories. A few children look horrified, but the others' little bloodthirsty eyes light up.
“Everything was going great for the pair; no one could beat them in the coliseums of Massacaria and planned to lead for the foreseeable future, but two men connected to the pasts of our King and Queen came out of the woodworks. Daniel The Dangerous is a man obsessed with taking down the daughter of Megasonius and niece to Tamikacana because he never could take anyone of the bloodline down before.”
The children gasp at the picture of a man in hot pink short-shorts, a crudely painted face and a man bun.
“The other was Bifftilla The Tonne, a disgusting blob of a man (if you could even call him that) from the King’s past who taunted him as a young prince. He also owned a slave camp of homeless little people he slaughtered and killed, selling their flesh as “chicken” in the taverns spread around Massacaria,” she says with a sad voice as she shows them the picture of Bifftilla eating what is obviously the leg of a little person like a medieval king would eat a drumstick of chicken. The children gasp at the horror that is this very fat evil man.
“Bifftilla challenged the King, and with his mighty weight, he was able to take Outcastia down. The former King vanished into thin air, leaving Queen Verona alone and vulnerable, allowing Daniel the Dangerous to take her tiara,” her voice grim in the revelation. The kids look disturbed as the sides of Bifftilla’s sweaty belly spill over the throne he took from Outcastia. Daniel The Dangerous lays over his great belly, tracing hearts down his nasty treasure trail like Jabba the Hutt and Slave Leia.
“Queen Verona fell into a depression; her lover and king had disappeared after his defeat, and she had lost her own crown to a man Bifftilla had beaten into submission (seventeen times according to The Tonne), and it wasn’t until the mighty BRIMSTONE THE BEAR,” she says, lifting her arms, fingers outstretched and arched imitating a bear’s claws and growls (think John Candy in the Great Outdoors). Some of the children cringe, but a number of them oddly look like mini-Hoods, and they dig it.
“Fuck yeah! Bears!”
“Billy! Language!”
“Was put in our hero’s path! He provided a unique opportunity for the true Queen of the realm! Not like these wannabe Queens that have flooded in, turning Massacaria into Disneytopia... thankfully not near as much Jew-hating. Even if Bifftilla would spout all day how he whipped Daniel The Dangerous into his submission and that she lost in the arena to him, he would also conveniently forget that she had gone to war with TLS and came out the victor. Queen Verona also beat a Goliath in that of BRIMSTONE when it took everything for Bifftilla to defeat THE BEAR!!!”
The children approve of Queen Verona and BRIMSTONE THE BEAR in fighting positions in the middle of the coliseum.
“Now, with Queen Verona approaching The Tonne’s land, she knew she had but only one chance to slay this monster in the name of her King Outcastia but most importantly, it was a chance to fulfill the legend of returning the realm to its people and not this cannibalistic Mad Titan. What ever was she supposed to do?” She asks, looking toward the children. “Yes, you, who looks like she could be Hood’s kid.”
“Have you considered Alice Knight as part of the problem?”
“Oh, for sure, you are his spawn. I have not because that is just silly; just stay away from the mustard. Now, you see, Bifftilla was as smart as he was fat that he set up his inner circle to take the fall for supplying Little People as a replacement to real chickens. To be fair, everyone was a little person in front of him. But our hero knew he had to be stopped!” she throws her arms up, emphasizing her point. “With the help of her mother, auntie and a legion of sisters, they were able to pierce through, and now our Queen Verona was standing at the doors of the palace’s main room beyond, but that is where our story ends.”
Some kids yell “WEAK ASS BOOKING” but the self-proclaimed Queen of OCW does her best to calm them.
“See, I think it’s because the edibles wore off on my auntie, but she swears it’s up to me for how the story ends. See kids, Bifford is a real threat, like my Auntie Tee described as Bifftilla The Tonne. He has taken OCW with his fat, greasy, sweaty hands and has an iron grip on the championship that should still be around Outcast’s waist. You see, kids, Plethora, Bifford, whatever you want to call him, picked Dan and me to have a title shot because he knew Dan would never say yes, feeling the champion is trolling him. With me... I doubt he thought I would say yes. But I did, didn’t I?” she asks, holding up the palms of her hands as the school kids give her a pop that feels like it could be from tens of thousands of OCW Faithful in Kansas City, Missouri.
“When Victoria and I came to OCW, it was to start anew, get away from the first year that was a bad start to our career. We survived the PURGE. I took the TransAtlantic title and successfully made it the hottest thing in the company, going 14-0 and holding it for half a year. That wasn't a fluke, kiddies. That was me showing why I am the greatest wrestler in the Strader Family and OCW.”
“But didn’t you lose to CYPH3R and Dangerous Dan?” one of the snot-nosed Mini-Hoods asks.
“Winning streaks aren’t what they seem to be. They are a distraction. It distracted me, and I am no longer the TransAtlantic champion, but once that monkey was shaken from my back, I came out and I made short work of a man that almost dethroned Bifford in BRIM. I also went to war with the Lost Stranger. And I won. You see, kids, Dan did get into my head a bit, took advantage of a situation and stole my title. I promise that won’t happen again. Did Plethora the Perilous pick me, hoping with my anger toward OCW I wouldn’t accept his offer? Did he pick me because he thinks his multiple victories over the FORMER TransAtlantic champion mean it’s guaranteed for him to beat me? Possibly, but the one thing for sure, kids… is that no matter what, win or loss, we can only better ourselves by taking the world on, especially when the odds seem to be stacked against you.”
“Umm, that is a great message, but why are you telling the kids that, in this way?” Miss Alvarez asks, lifting her head from what is probably vodka in her Circle K large orange slushy. Veronica looks back at her.
“They are the next generation of OCW Faithful, and they will know my name, Miss Alvarez.”
She turns back to the kids and smiles at them.
“Thank you so much for having me, and all of you, including your parents, will have tickets to the next Massacre when it comes home to Key West. So when you tune into Massacre on Monday, who will you cheer for to become the face of the company and to save the roster from this horrible man?”
“VERONICA STRADER!” they yell.
“THE RAGING SKULL!” another kid responds.
Veronica ignores the last one but laughs internally.
“Damn straight. Because kids, there’s one thing everyone should always remember about me that these guys learned the hard way: TLS, Dylan Thomas, BRIM, Supreme Machine and others already know it, and soon it will be a lesson that The Big Bifford will learn painfully… God? He God forgives.”
“I DON’T.”
Veronica can’t hide the smile that is behind her sneer. She stands up, and the children storm her to give Veronica a big hug. She nods to the teacher and leaves the classroom after she tussles a few heads of hair. Tamika Strader is standing in the hallway playing on her phone when she looks up to see her niece.
“So, how did it go?”
“OCW should be happy with the outcome. Still making up for the destruction of Milftown Island.”
“Kids like my story?”
“Yeah, they did but probably would’ve liked a finished one,” she says with a chuckle.
“I told you, you will write the ending on Monday. You got this, kiddo; you have the best odds of anyone to take the title from him. If you don't, you’ll still show everyone why you are a future Hall of Fame inductee in OCW,” she says, putting her arm around Veronica. Tamika loved their newfound closeness.
“Thanks, Auntie Teebag. Let’s go to the arena; I want to get some training in.”
"The name in the hat bit was pretty funny though, not gonna lie. Veronica Strader, Veronica Strader --- they are supposed to say Dan!" she says, doing her best "Big Bifford."
The Craze Champion gets a playful elbow to her side from the possible future OCW Champion if she could be so lucky. They make their way out of the school with the OCW title at the forefront of Veronica’s mind.
“This homeless murdering bastard can’t go on. This is not just for me, Christian; it’s for you too. I love and miss you, babe.”