OCWtv Presents: "Something Happens..." (Open Film Thread(?)

[TheDistinguished]

Matthew: Absolutely. Cold hard cash. We can then go to Vegas and double down on red or is it black ... Fuck it let's just have fun.

Matthew takes a puff of his cigar and dumps his ashes on the floor. Maybe the maid can get it oh wait never mind she is dead.

Matthew: Also made her last batch of cookies ... Do you think Jill can bake? She looks like she doesn't like to get dirty at all.

Matthew and Frankie cheers one another.

Matthew: So who do you think done it Frankie? Jill looks like she is hiding something ... Ben might be banging Jill as he seems like he is just cool as a cucumber ... Jack is too quiet for me ... That's just me thinking out loud.

[PIC]

Everyone looks directly at Matthew, except Ben, whose eyes are firmly fixed on Jill’s assets.

Frankie: *whispering* Yeah man, you’re thinking a little too out loud if ya know what I mean.

Regrouping, Frankie addresses the whole group, shouting as a way of commanding respect.

Frankie: Attention! I have a major announcement that might just break the case wide open!!

All eyes return to Frankie, except Ben’s of course. We’ve already established he’s trying to get a peak of Jill’s rack.

[Lord Allton]

Frankie is still waiting on that beer. Ben only just realises after uh.... admiring the view of Jill.

Ben: Huh? What? Oh yeah sure.

Ben throws a beer Frankie's way.

Ben: Hey, how do you drink with that mask on?

[PIC]

Frankie: Oh, so you had a beer for me already. I guess the case didn’t have to be broken after all.

Frankie thinks for a moment.

Frankie: Disregard my announcement announcement. As for drinking with my mask, I’m pretty sure it has a mouth hole. Doesn’t it? I actually don’t remember. Anyone got a pic of this thing?

[PIC]

Frankie's been waiting over 30 hours for a response. He thinks to himself how at least one of the "hosts" of this event should have probably chimed in by now. He's already recited all 142 Police Academy movies line for line in his head while he waits.

[zybala]

: Suddenly, the front door bursts open! In the doorway is Mike Zybala wearing a fake mustache and a monocle, and obviously clothes. He looks around as he enters the suite. When he speaks, it is with a fake German accent. :


Zybala: I am Detective Hans Veinerstrüddle! I am wit ze local police. We have been called about ze murder, ya? My officers are interviewing ze neighboors. Who is the Fraulein and Herr of ze place?

[PIC]

Frankie leans over to Matthew while slamming his beer.

Frankie: I don’t know nothin’ about murder mysteries, but why would there be a German dude on the local police? I think there might be somethin fishy about that ver Hasselhoff guy.

[Dylan Thomas]

Jack wanders over to the detective.

Jack: I'm Jack Austin, owner of the house with my wife Jill. Wherever **Jack looks around for Jill** She is......

[zybala]

: Veinerstrüddle extends his hand and shakes Jack's. He continues to speak in his horrible german accent. :


Veinerstrüddle: Gluten tug, Herr Jack. As I said, von of your neighboors called ze police saying zey overheard zomezing about murder? A maiden, I zink zey said?

[Dylan Thomas]

Jack: This way...

Jack leads Veinerstruddle over to Deloris's body.

[zybala]

: Jack shows Veinerstrüddle the way to the kitchen. As they make their way, Veinerstrüddle is writing in a notepad. :

Veinerstrüddle: So tell me, in your own words Herr Jack, what happened?

[Dylan Thomas]

Jack: I don't actually know. I was on the phone to my mother at the time. The lights went out, there was noise. I got off the phone and she was like this...

[zybala]

Veinerstrüddle: Your modder vas dead as vell? How did ze lights turning off here kill her over ze telephone? Very interesting.... it appears that I must solve two murders....


: Veinerstrüddle scribbles more notes into his pad. :

[Dylan Thomas]

Jack looks confused.

Jack: What? No. No. I was on the phone to my mother. The lights go off HERE. There's noise. HERE. Then Deloris is like this...

[zybala]

Veinerstrüddle: Ah! I zee, I zee...

: Veinerstrüddle rips the last page out of his small notebook. He crumples it in his hand a casual drops it on the body. :

Veinerstrüddle: So... you vere chatting wit your mama... do you know who vas zeen last talking with the victim?