Post by Alice Knight on May 18, 2022 0:49:28 GMT -5
~Opening on the sounds of some native African music playing. In the small studio (or large hut) we see many Djibouti villagers cheering and shouting loudly while dancing to the tribal like music. Some sitting on logs in the audience. But they are enjoying themselves. Why? IT'S THE ZUMBA SHOW!' The 7th highest rated 'English' talk show in Djibouti (on the DTVN (Djibouti TV Network)
"TONIGHT ON 'THE ZUMBA SHOW'! We get visit from Watermelon Kwabena. He give out Free Watermelon to 10 lucky audience. And also on show. Nwahulwana Group perform Wakata Koko from their new Compact Disc titled 'Waka-Waka'. And final Zumba welcomes wrestling white woman Alice Knight. Big show. I am Akwesi. Here is host. ZUMBA!!"
~We see Zumba's ever so popular co-host, Akwesi clapping as an upbeat tribal song plays as the heavyset African villager host, Zumba waddles out from behind the curtain shirtless, gut hanging over his decorated kaba skirt. He gets a standing ovation of course. Zumba and Akwesi both nod at each other. Zumba speaks to the audience.~
Zumba: Hello. My. People. Me. Zumba.... Tonight. Good. Show. Yes... Zumba. Have. On. Show. Nwahulwana. Group. Play. Song. Kwabena. Give. Watermelon. To. My. People. You. And. White. Woman. Owl. From. Wrestling. Alice. Knight. Her. To. Chat. It. Going. Be. Good. Now. We. Begin...
~Cuts to the live broadcast of Zumba's show being watched on a small I-Pad tablet. It is revealed that Alice Knight is watching the show. She wais impatiently outside her rented small Djibouti hut, over dressed, over made up and overly upset. She talks to herself checking her non-existing wrist watch and tapping her feet on the ground. Laying in the dirt next to her shoes is the filthy OCW Syren Championship.~
Alice: God. Dammit, Abebe!! Where are you? I have like a fookin' hour to get to this lame ass talk show. I have way better things I could be doing too. Like for instance, playing Naked Twister with CJ O'Donnell. Or like trying to selling my Owl Is Night mustard to local grocery stores for these wonderful people. Oh.. and 'I guess' like preparing and working out for my match with Dylan Thomas at Big Game Hunting. Ugh, instead her I am waiting to promote the match on this stupid show...
~Alice taps her feet harder. She puts her tablet away in her bag, and pulls out her cell phone.~
Alice: Answer Abebe, God dammit. That's why you don't do favors for people, Alice. You don't be nice to people who call them your friend, like this so called Abebe. Sure, we only just met. And I pay him 10 dollars, Canadian, a day to do chores and work for me. But he always lets me down. Abebe is just another Uber Man. Another Dravers Twin. They are all the same. They betray you when you are innocent, vulnerable., depressed and just plain down and out. Or like a that damn Dylan Thomas. Thinking he is funny. Thinking he is better than me. Thinking he stands a chance to win the OCW Savage Championship against me. ME. At Big Game Hunting. Does he forget who the hell I am? I am a former OCW Champion. I am in the OCW Hall of Fame. I am the biggest and most popular name in the company, hell dare I say it. The business? Hoot. Hoot. Hoot!
~Alice begins 'HOOTing' to herself and flaps her arms like wings. A few villagers walking by each carrying a bag of straw give Alice a weird-confused look. Alice stops hooting and returns the favor giving them the stink eye. They look away~
Alice: Stupid brainless A-Lister or as I call him, A-Loser. I should use that on the Zumba show today. It get a huge laugh I think. And...
~Alice phone vibrates, she answers it quickly~
Alice: Abebe??? Where the FOOK are you, you, you piece of shit!?! ... What? You're going to be late? I have to be on this show in like in an hour and you're gonna be late? What good reason do you have to be late you shit head?... Mhmm. Oh. The wife is giving birth? Ok.. good answer. Good answer! No show? What? Me no showing? Flaking? Vanishing without telling people when I was expected to do something? Nope. Not me. Never. ... Ugh. Thanks. I'll get there myself. You stupid piece of shit. ... I'm sorry. Uncalled for. ... Don't worry. I'll get to the show. Congrats Abebe. You know what's a good baby name? Alice. Like me! Haha. Hello...? Hello? Hmm. Must have been cut off. Oh well. Maybe I should text CJ to help me out and drive me.. ehhh. Nah I bother him enough already with help. I can do this by myself... Time for a walk...
~Alice puts her phone in her bag and goes to walk down the dirt road... but stops and looks down at her rotten OCW-Syren belt. She sighs and cringes. She grabs the end of the strap and drags it in the dirt as she starts walking.
Time goes by with a few fading transitions of Alice dragging her championship while walking. She ends up at a four-way dusty road where an old villager is sitting on a large rock peeling cucumbers in the center of it. Alice, a little exhausted already, looks down all three roads. Not sure which way to go. She approaches the old timer out of breath.~
Alice: Excuse... me... sir... which way is the best way to get to DTVN Studio-hut? I'm kinda lost.
Old-Villager: Well white lady it's simple. The road of the left takes you to the down town area of Djibouti. So I wouldn't recommend it. The road straight ahead will get you there safely... and the left road... well I wouldn't go down there, white lady...
~Alice looks at the left road where she spots a sign with a human skull on it. Written in blood it says "SHORT CUT TO "DTVN' STUDIO-HUT! And Burger King."~
Alice: Oh HOOT! That's the way I needs to go, bud. I'm late for the Zumba show. And can get a Whopper on the way.
Old-Villager: No white lady. Do not do it. The place is swarming with the most dangerous animals of Djibouti. There are hunted by dangerous poachers.
Alice(rolling her eyes smirking): Guy, listen guy. Have you ever heard of this thing called a 'Sadie Ko'? I was in the ring with her and once and yes, while she is disturbing as fook'. I managed to get out of there in one piece. If i were a turkey like a Easton Alexander or a cockatoo like PerZag... or worse yet as talented and charismatic as a dead pigeon like my opponent, Dylan Thomas. But I am an OWL, friend. Plus I am a two-time...
~Alice looks down at the disgusting Syren title~
Alice: Um, ugh, a one-time OCW Champion. I can take care of myself. So... thanks but no thanks. ABC-YA...
~Alice winks and begins dragging the belt behind her while skipping down the 'short-cut' dirt road. The old man watches her shaking his head before awkwardly deep throats the cucumber.~
~MEANWHILE~
~At the Zumba show Kwabena is handing out very large watermelons to the enthusiastic audience members. Zumba is digging the lint out of his belly button while he cheers on Kwabena's nice gesture to his loyal viewers.~
~Cut to an obvious lost Alice, now in the Djibouti forest, looking around a bit scared. She stumbles down the long rough path. She suddenly stops and freezes still when stops when she spots a large Lion sleeping a few feet down the trail. She then quietly hides behind a tree. Alice begins whispering to herself while trying not to panic.~
Alice: Oh. My. God! What do I do? What I do I do? I wonder if Dylan was right about those dumb things he said about lions on Massacre? I mean I doubt he can gather a real thought without his wife or his goons helping him out. I mean he actually thinks he stands a chance beating me at Big Game Hunting and winning the OCW Savage title over me... I mean a real donkey-brain if you ask me. But just because he can't beat me on my worse day in the ring, doesn't mean he doesn't watch the National Geographic channel...
~Alice takes a peak at the sleeping lion. She hides her face again.~
Alice: Man, that's a big kitty-cat. (she begins mocking Dylan with a silly voice) "Muh-mah-meh-muh I'm 'The A-Loser' Dylan Thomas. Muh-mah-meh-muh-muh, male Lions eat their cubs, owls are stupid, nothing personal, only business, Hakuna-matata. Muh-mah-meh-muh!" Stupid Thomas. Trying to get into my head. Owls are way cooler, smarter, stronger and more dangerous than a god damn Lion! This Dylan Thomas has lost all his marbles saying stupid things like that. Hollywood Cloverleaf? What the hell is that? That doesn't even sound like a real finisher. He's making up moves now! What kind of lie and story is he going to make up next? OWL IS NIGHT MUSTARD IS GROSS AND SHOULDN'T BE INGESTED ORALLY?? Ha. Not this year, babe. Plus "The Apache" has put away a lot of the best-of-the-best icons here in OCW. So to that I can easily say that The Apache wins over the Hollyboring-CloverPOOP. Owls are better than Lions. And of course Alice Knight, leader of the hooters is way better than Dylan Thomas and his A-Losers. And I'm going to prove it at Big Game Hunting when I bring home the OCW Savage title. HOOT! HOOT! HOOT!
~Alice hoots loudly. But shuts her mouth fast. She looks to see if the lion is still asleep. But it is gone. She does a sigh of relief. She attempts to walk out from behind the tree but spots the lion sniffing the pissy-odor coming from the OCW Syren Championship. She stands still as if it's the T-REX from Jurassic Park. The lion looks her way as a lion roars in her directions. She closes her eyes.~
BANG
~Alice opens her eyes to see the dead lion on its side with a bullet wound in its head. A few poachers run out of the woods laughing and cheering. Alice begins laughing and using her fingers as guns 'pew-pewing' the dead lion. She stops laughing when the poachers point their guns at her. She 'gulps' nervously. But spots something on one of the poachers shirt.~
Alice: DTVN Staff? Wow, am I glad to see you guys. How about giving a lady a lift to the DTVN Studio-Hut? I am supposed to be on the Zumba show in a few minutes. Cool?
~They look at each other. They all nod and shrug as they lower their weapons. Alice smirks evilly.~
~MEANWHILE~
~Nwahulwana Group is finishing up the Wakata Koko song. Everyone in the audience is singing with the band. Zumba and his co-host Akwesi are dancing to the music. They wrap up their set. Zumba applauds them with the crowd. Looking into the camera, Zumba speaks.~
Zumba: Zumba. Thank. Music. Guest. Good. Music. Yes? Now. Zumba. Final. Guest. Is. White. Woman. Wrestler. In. OCW. She. Gets. Title. Match. At. Big. Game. Hunting. Event. Here. In. Djibouti. She. Is. Owl. She. Is. Mustard. She. Is. Alice. Night. Hoot. Hoot. Yes?
~Some upbeat African music plays. Alice's name gets a decent reaction from the audience but she doesn't come out from the curtain. Zumba looks off camera confused and a bit angry. But before he can say anything a few 'HOOT!' screams can be heard in the distance. This when Alice Knight runs out from behind the curtain. She is out of breath while she fixes her dress. Finally she struts over to the desk where a standing Akwesi is standing and greets her with a hug. Zumba, as always, doesn't get up. But smiles at Alice. A few members in the audience begin hooting. Alice smiles and waves to the crowd before sitting on the log.~
Zumba: Lovely. White. Woman. Alice. So. Pretty. How. Are. Alice. Today?
Alice: Well... let's just say next time... I'll take the bus!
~Alice laughs. Silence from the crowd and Zumba.~
Alice: But... while it was crazy getting here, Zumba. It's not as crazy as the donkey-brained A-Loser Dylan Thomas. Ol' brainless Dylan thinks he might actually win the OCW Savage title at Big Game Hunting. Well... I have a great and long story to tell your audience and yourself, Zumba. Let me start it now... You see...
Zumba(cutting her off): And. Zumba. Is. Out. Of. Time. Zumba. Want. To. Thank. Nwahulwana. Group. And. Kwabena. For. Watermelon. And. Of. Course. Pretty. White. Woman. Alice. Knight. Good. Luck. Alice. At. Wrestling. Show.
~Alice frowns upsettingly at Zumba putting her face into the palms of her hands. But quickly fakes a smile looking at the camera trying not to lose her cool. Music plays as Zumba and Akwesi wave into the camera as the broadcast ends.~
Fin?
"TONIGHT ON 'THE ZUMBA SHOW'! We get visit from Watermelon Kwabena. He give out Free Watermelon to 10 lucky audience. And also on show. Nwahulwana Group perform Wakata Koko from their new Compact Disc titled 'Waka-Waka'. And final Zumba welcomes wrestling white woman Alice Knight. Big show. I am Akwesi. Here is host. ZUMBA!!"
~We see Zumba's ever so popular co-host, Akwesi clapping as an upbeat tribal song plays as the heavyset African villager host, Zumba waddles out from behind the curtain shirtless, gut hanging over his decorated kaba skirt. He gets a standing ovation of course. Zumba and Akwesi both nod at each other. Zumba speaks to the audience.~
Zumba: Hello. My. People. Me. Zumba.... Tonight. Good. Show. Yes... Zumba. Have. On. Show. Nwahulwana. Group. Play. Song. Kwabena. Give. Watermelon. To. My. People. You. And. White. Woman. Owl. From. Wrestling. Alice. Knight. Her. To. Chat. It. Going. Be. Good. Now. We. Begin...
~Cuts to the live broadcast of Zumba's show being watched on a small I-Pad tablet. It is revealed that Alice Knight is watching the show. She wais impatiently outside her rented small Djibouti hut, over dressed, over made up and overly upset. She talks to herself checking her non-existing wrist watch and tapping her feet on the ground. Laying in the dirt next to her shoes is the filthy OCW Syren Championship.~
Alice: God. Dammit, Abebe!! Where are you? I have like a fookin' hour to get to this lame ass talk show. I have way better things I could be doing too. Like for instance, playing Naked Twister with CJ O'Donnell. Or like trying to selling my Owl Is Night mustard to local grocery stores for these wonderful people. Oh.. and 'I guess' like preparing and working out for my match with Dylan Thomas at Big Game Hunting. Ugh, instead her I am waiting to promote the match on this stupid show...
~Alice taps her feet harder. She puts her tablet away in her bag, and pulls out her cell phone.~
Alice: Answer Abebe, God dammit. That's why you don't do favors for people, Alice. You don't be nice to people who call them your friend, like this so called Abebe. Sure, we only just met. And I pay him 10 dollars, Canadian, a day to do chores and work for me. But he always lets me down. Abebe is just another Uber Man. Another Dravers Twin. They are all the same. They betray you when you are innocent, vulnerable., depressed and just plain down and out. Or like a that damn Dylan Thomas. Thinking he is funny. Thinking he is better than me. Thinking he stands a chance to win the OCW Savage Championship against me. ME. At Big Game Hunting. Does he forget who the hell I am? I am a former OCW Champion. I am in the OCW Hall of Fame. I am the biggest and most popular name in the company, hell dare I say it. The business? Hoot. Hoot. Hoot!
~Alice begins 'HOOTing' to herself and flaps her arms like wings. A few villagers walking by each carrying a bag of straw give Alice a weird-confused look. Alice stops hooting and returns the favor giving them the stink eye. They look away~
Alice: Stupid brainless A-Lister or as I call him, A-Loser. I should use that on the Zumba show today. It get a huge laugh I think. And...
~Alice phone vibrates, she answers it quickly~
Alice: Abebe??? Where the FOOK are you, you, you piece of shit!?! ... What? You're going to be late? I have to be on this show in like in an hour and you're gonna be late? What good reason do you have to be late you shit head?... Mhmm. Oh. The wife is giving birth? Ok.. good answer. Good answer! No show? What? Me no showing? Flaking? Vanishing without telling people when I was expected to do something? Nope. Not me. Never. ... Ugh. Thanks. I'll get there myself. You stupid piece of shit. ... I'm sorry. Uncalled for. ... Don't worry. I'll get to the show. Congrats Abebe. You know what's a good baby name? Alice. Like me! Haha. Hello...? Hello? Hmm. Must have been cut off. Oh well. Maybe I should text CJ to help me out and drive me.. ehhh. Nah I bother him enough already with help. I can do this by myself... Time for a walk...
~Alice puts her phone in her bag and goes to walk down the dirt road... but stops and looks down at her rotten OCW-Syren belt. She sighs and cringes. She grabs the end of the strap and drags it in the dirt as she starts walking.
Time goes by with a few fading transitions of Alice dragging her championship while walking. She ends up at a four-way dusty road where an old villager is sitting on a large rock peeling cucumbers in the center of it. Alice, a little exhausted already, looks down all three roads. Not sure which way to go. She approaches the old timer out of breath.~
Alice: Excuse... me... sir... which way is the best way to get to DTVN Studio-hut? I'm kinda lost.
Old-Villager: Well white lady it's simple. The road of the left takes you to the down town area of Djibouti. So I wouldn't recommend it. The road straight ahead will get you there safely... and the left road... well I wouldn't go down there, white lady...
~Alice looks at the left road where she spots a sign with a human skull on it. Written in blood it says "SHORT CUT TO "DTVN' STUDIO-HUT! And Burger King."~
Alice: Oh HOOT! That's the way I needs to go, bud. I'm late for the Zumba show. And can get a Whopper on the way.
Old-Villager: No white lady. Do not do it. The place is swarming with the most dangerous animals of Djibouti. There are hunted by dangerous poachers.
Alice(rolling her eyes smirking): Guy, listen guy. Have you ever heard of this thing called a 'Sadie Ko'? I was in the ring with her and once and yes, while she is disturbing as fook'. I managed to get out of there in one piece. If i were a turkey like a Easton Alexander or a cockatoo like PerZag... or worse yet as talented and charismatic as a dead pigeon like my opponent, Dylan Thomas. But I am an OWL, friend. Plus I am a two-time...
~Alice looks down at the disgusting Syren title~
Alice: Um, ugh, a one-time OCW Champion. I can take care of myself. So... thanks but no thanks. ABC-YA...
~Alice winks and begins dragging the belt behind her while skipping down the 'short-cut' dirt road. The old man watches her shaking his head before awkwardly deep throats the cucumber.~
~MEANWHILE~
~At the Zumba show Kwabena is handing out very large watermelons to the enthusiastic audience members. Zumba is digging the lint out of his belly button while he cheers on Kwabena's nice gesture to his loyal viewers.~
~Cut to an obvious lost Alice, now in the Djibouti forest, looking around a bit scared. She stumbles down the long rough path. She suddenly stops and freezes still when stops when she spots a large Lion sleeping a few feet down the trail. She then quietly hides behind a tree. Alice begins whispering to herself while trying not to panic.~
Alice: Oh. My. God! What do I do? What I do I do? I wonder if Dylan was right about those dumb things he said about lions on Massacre? I mean I doubt he can gather a real thought without his wife or his goons helping him out. I mean he actually thinks he stands a chance beating me at Big Game Hunting and winning the OCW Savage title over me... I mean a real donkey-brain if you ask me. But just because he can't beat me on my worse day in the ring, doesn't mean he doesn't watch the National Geographic channel...
~Alice takes a peak at the sleeping lion. She hides her face again.~
Alice: Man, that's a big kitty-cat. (she begins mocking Dylan with a silly voice) "Muh-mah-meh-muh I'm 'The A-Loser' Dylan Thomas. Muh-mah-meh-muh-muh, male Lions eat their cubs, owls are stupid, nothing personal, only business, Hakuna-matata. Muh-mah-meh-muh!" Stupid Thomas. Trying to get into my head. Owls are way cooler, smarter, stronger and more dangerous than a god damn Lion! This Dylan Thomas has lost all his marbles saying stupid things like that. Hollywood Cloverleaf? What the hell is that? That doesn't even sound like a real finisher. He's making up moves now! What kind of lie and story is he going to make up next? OWL IS NIGHT MUSTARD IS GROSS AND SHOULDN'T BE INGESTED ORALLY?? Ha. Not this year, babe. Plus "The Apache" has put away a lot of the best-of-the-best icons here in OCW. So to that I can easily say that The Apache wins over the Hollyboring-CloverPOOP. Owls are better than Lions. And of course Alice Knight, leader of the hooters is way better than Dylan Thomas and his A-Losers. And I'm going to prove it at Big Game Hunting when I bring home the OCW Savage title. HOOT! HOOT! HOOT!
~Alice hoots loudly. But shuts her mouth fast. She looks to see if the lion is still asleep. But it is gone. She does a sigh of relief. She attempts to walk out from behind the tree but spots the lion sniffing the pissy-odor coming from the OCW Syren Championship. She stands still as if it's the T-REX from Jurassic Park. The lion looks her way as a lion roars in her directions. She closes her eyes.~
BANG
~Alice opens her eyes to see the dead lion on its side with a bullet wound in its head. A few poachers run out of the woods laughing and cheering. Alice begins laughing and using her fingers as guns 'pew-pewing' the dead lion. She stops laughing when the poachers point their guns at her. She 'gulps' nervously. But spots something on one of the poachers shirt.~
Alice: DTVN Staff? Wow, am I glad to see you guys. How about giving a lady a lift to the DTVN Studio-Hut? I am supposed to be on the Zumba show in a few minutes. Cool?
~They look at each other. They all nod and shrug as they lower their weapons. Alice smirks evilly.~
~MEANWHILE~
~Nwahulwana Group is finishing up the Wakata Koko song. Everyone in the audience is singing with the band. Zumba and his co-host Akwesi are dancing to the music. They wrap up their set. Zumba applauds them with the crowd. Looking into the camera, Zumba speaks.~
Zumba: Zumba. Thank. Music. Guest. Good. Music. Yes? Now. Zumba. Final. Guest. Is. White. Woman. Wrestler. In. OCW. She. Gets. Title. Match. At. Big. Game. Hunting. Event. Here. In. Djibouti. She. Is. Owl. She. Is. Mustard. She. Is. Alice. Night. Hoot. Hoot. Yes?
~Some upbeat African music plays. Alice's name gets a decent reaction from the audience but she doesn't come out from the curtain. Zumba looks off camera confused and a bit angry. But before he can say anything a few 'HOOT!' screams can be heard in the distance. This when Alice Knight runs out from behind the curtain. She is out of breath while she fixes her dress. Finally she struts over to the desk where a standing Akwesi is standing and greets her with a hug. Zumba, as always, doesn't get up. But smiles at Alice. A few members in the audience begin hooting. Alice smiles and waves to the crowd before sitting on the log.~
Zumba: Lovely. White. Woman. Alice. So. Pretty. How. Are. Alice. Today?
Alice: Well... let's just say next time... I'll take the bus!
~Alice laughs. Silence from the crowd and Zumba.~
Alice: But... while it was crazy getting here, Zumba. It's not as crazy as the donkey-brained A-Loser Dylan Thomas. Ol' brainless Dylan thinks he might actually win the OCW Savage title at Big Game Hunting. Well... I have a great and long story to tell your audience and yourself, Zumba. Let me start it now... You see...
Zumba(cutting her off): And. Zumba. Is. Out. Of. Time. Zumba. Want. To. Thank. Nwahulwana. Group. And. Kwabena. For. Watermelon. And. Of. Course. Pretty. White. Woman. Alice. Knight. Good. Luck. Alice. At. Wrestling. Show.
~Alice frowns upsettingly at Zumba putting her face into the palms of her hands. But quickly fakes a smile looking at the camera trying not to lose her cool. Music plays as Zumba and Akwesi wave into the camera as the broadcast ends.~
Fin?