It Stinks in Djibouti
May 14, 2022 15:43:19 GMT -5
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Marcus Welsh, Alice Knight, and 2 more like this
Post by Tony the Spider on May 14, 2022 15:43:19 GMT -5
In the backroom of Nibbles Nightclub, Tony the Spider is sitting at a desk. Music from the club blades through the thin walls. Tony has his feet on the desk, pulling hot cheetos out of his fanny pack, and singing along to a Britney Spears song.
Tony wipes the red dust from the hit cheetos on his yellow shirt, then does a google search on computer. He types in. "Alexandra Calaway".
Tony: Hahahahahaha! ( cough, cough)
Tony nearly chokes from a piece of hot cheetos. He begins to cough violently. Tony reaches for a glass of water and gulps it down.
Tony: Ahhhhhh....
The phone on his desk rings , he picks it up on the second ring.
Tony: Hey this is Tony.
The voice on the other line muffled, Tony nods his head, says a lot of " yesses, and umm hmm".
Tony: Yes, I guess I'll head over to Djibouti.
Tony hangs up the phone, then clicks on Alexandra Calaway's Twitter account.
Tony: mmmmm. Alexandra Calaway will make a great addition to our midday line up. The guys who come in love middle aged chicks with saggy boobs. She'll be pur biggest money maker, I've got to find a way to get her here.
The wall on one side of the office is a two way mirror. Tony can see the the stage from there abd the tables around it. Misty May is currently on stage twerking her flat milf booty to Bon Jovi. Tony talks to himself.
Tony: Alexandra Calaway will be a big money maker here. She's not doing much in wrestling. I mean how long has she been in the wrestling business, and what has she accomplished? I've never even heard of her until she came to the OCW. I read somewhere that she loves to " beat people up for pay". Which explains why she doesn't have a lot of money. She's not good at that. Her hands are better at giving hand jobs than punches. Over at Nibbles she can do all of that and then some, if you know what I mean. She claims to be some sort of OCW Dark Queen, that also makes a lot of sense. When her match comes on, the screen goes dark. Nobody wants to watch a middle aged lady wailing away at her opponent and screaming like she's got a broom stick in her djibouti. Alexandra Calaway acts like it's that time of the month everyday. I mean something is wrong with this chick. She's delusional. Maybe it's menopause. I know women go through a change that takes a toll on them physically and mentally. If I get her to work here, she'll be set. She won't have to worry about having to fight off muscular men in the ring, she'll make more money whacking off tubby men in the back.
There is a knock on the door, Tony straightens himself abd calls out.
Tony: COME ON IN!
Big Gary, one if the bouncers sticks his head in .
Big Gary: Mr. Tony, I got the new recruits here. You ready to recieve them?
Tony motions for Big Gary to bring them in.
5 women enter the office and stand in a line. Tony gets up and walks over to them as Big Gray exits and closes the door. Tony inspects the first woman. An elderly lady in a floral mumu.
Tony: Okay. I like the gray you got going on there. You may have to shave your armpits. I think you'll do pretty well here. What's your name ma'am?
Recruit#1: Gertrude Ellis
Tony: Gerty, from now on your name will be Foxxy Gray. You can start your shift today. Go outside and let Big Gary know.
Foxxy Gray: thank you, young man.
Foxxy walks slowly towards the door. Tony inspects the next woman. An Asian woman in her 40s, who smells of cigarettes and tuna.
Tony: hmm. You remind me of Alice Knight. The body of a 13 year old boy, but the booty of a pony. What's your name darling?
Recruit #2: Yun Ming Ming.
Tony: Okay. From now on you'll be Sukyou Deep. Go on and tell Big Gary. We'll start you out in the night shift.
Sukyou makes her way towards the door.
Tony walks over to the next recruit. A young buxom lady in her mid twenties with a cute face.
Tony: Sorry, you might be better off working at another establishment.
The young lady hangs her head in shame and exits.
Tony walks over and smiles at the next recruit. A black woman with fucked up teeth, probably due to meth use.
Tony: how old are you darling?
Recruit#4: 29. ( her voice is raspy)
Tony: 29? Damm life hasn't been good to you. You look like you're 65. What's your name sear?
Recruit #4. Lashanda Jones.
Tony: Lashanda, from now on your name will be Chocolate Pudding. Please go tell Big Gary to get you some food and a shower. You can start tomorrow's day shift.
Chocolate makes her way to the exit.
Tony greets the last woman. She's wearing a tank top and shorts.
Tony: Hello ma'am. You look like you've got potential. But I can't help but notice you've got a little bulge in your belly.
Recruit#5: oh honey. I've just had a baby a couple weeks ago and I'm trying to lose the baby weight. But I may also be pregnant again. I'm not quite sure.
Tony: uh. Okay. What's your name dear, and hold old are you?
Recruit#5: Cherri Seville
Tony: Cherri, that's a good name. But I think you have the most potential of all the girls we've seen today. So we're going to give you a good name. Alessandra Hallaway.
Recruit#5: Alessandra Halaway?is that with 1 L or 2? That's so plain. Cherri is a good stripper name. What the hell is Allessandra?
Tony: 1 L.
Cherri: that's so dumb.
Tony: look honey. ever since I've taken over as talent director at nibbles, our business has been booming. The guys that come in here. They want something different . They wanna see women they can't find anywhere else. They don't want to come in here to see Cherri. But they will be intrigued when they hear about Allesandra. Sounds so mysterious, exotic.
Cherri: I don't want to be called no stupid Allessandra Halaway with 1 L. That sounds like some old broad who's been living her life trying to be someone she ain't. Allessandra Halaway with 1 L sounds like some no talent middle aged bitch that is a hanger on and surrounds herself with people who say nice things to make her feel better. Ain't gonna call me no Allesandre Halaeay with 1 L. I'm going somewhere else.
Cherri storms out the door.
Big Gary sticks his head in.
Big Gary : everything okay boss?
Tony: hahahahahahahahahahaha! If you only knew Gary.
Big Gary shakes his head.
Big Gary: I hear you're flying out to Djbouti sir. You need me to arrange a ride for you?
Tony: Yes I do Gary. Thank you.
Big Gary: you wrestling in Djibouti?
Tony : I am against. Alexandra Calaway.
Big Gary: Now why would they go and put you up against some middle aged lady. That's just cruel.
Tony: well if I beat her, she's going to be working here at Nibbles.
Big Gary: for real. For real?
Tony: for real. For real.
Big Gary: Well I got something to help you out then. This is a must win for you and for us.
Gary hands Tony some pills, brass knuckles, and a prison shank.
Tony: I don't think I'll need all that. I mean I am wrestling someone who supposedly has been doing this for a long time but yet hasn't made much impact. I think she's a jobber, just like I've been. I think she's been hanging on to this dream of being a successful wrestler for way too long. Maybe once I beat her, she'll realize her true calling is working here at Nibbles with us. Those saggy tips and wrinkled buttons cheeks is more fit for our stage.
Big Gary shakes his head.
Big Gary: ok. We'll leave in 15 minutes. Who's taking over while you are away?
Tony: I'm leaving Timmy in charge while I'm gone.
Big Gary: Ah. Timmy the Tarantula. We gotta remind him to keep his hands off the talent.
Tony: I'll remind him. But maybe when we get Alexandra Calaway here, she wouldn't mind being touched. She seems like a lady that's been around the block a time or 2.
Big Gary: sounds perfect for Nibbles. Ok, come outside in 15, the SlamBuss will be ready for you.
Tony nods as Big Gary closes the door behind him. Tony goes back to his desk and logs off then turns off the computer. We grabs a piece ot paper and writes a note for Timmy with instructions on what to do while he is away. He opens his phone on clicks in the Twitter app. He types in, " on my way into Djibouti. It stinks there." He laughs out loud one last time. Then heads out to the SlamBuss.
Tony: Hahahahahahahaha!
Tony wipes the red dust from the hit cheetos on his yellow shirt, then does a google search on computer. He types in. "Alexandra Calaway".
Tony: Hahahahahaha! ( cough, cough)
Tony nearly chokes from a piece of hot cheetos. He begins to cough violently. Tony reaches for a glass of water and gulps it down.
Tony: Ahhhhhh....
The phone on his desk rings , he picks it up on the second ring.
Tony: Hey this is Tony.
The voice on the other line muffled, Tony nods his head, says a lot of " yesses, and umm hmm".
Tony: Yes, I guess I'll head over to Djibouti.
Tony hangs up the phone, then clicks on Alexandra Calaway's Twitter account.
Tony: mmmmm. Alexandra Calaway will make a great addition to our midday line up. The guys who come in love middle aged chicks with saggy boobs. She'll be pur biggest money maker, I've got to find a way to get her here.
The wall on one side of the office is a two way mirror. Tony can see the the stage from there abd the tables around it. Misty May is currently on stage twerking her flat milf booty to Bon Jovi. Tony talks to himself.
Tony: Alexandra Calaway will be a big money maker here. She's not doing much in wrestling. I mean how long has she been in the wrestling business, and what has she accomplished? I've never even heard of her until she came to the OCW. I read somewhere that she loves to " beat people up for pay". Which explains why she doesn't have a lot of money. She's not good at that. Her hands are better at giving hand jobs than punches. Over at Nibbles she can do all of that and then some, if you know what I mean. She claims to be some sort of OCW Dark Queen, that also makes a lot of sense. When her match comes on, the screen goes dark. Nobody wants to watch a middle aged lady wailing away at her opponent and screaming like she's got a broom stick in her djibouti. Alexandra Calaway acts like it's that time of the month everyday. I mean something is wrong with this chick. She's delusional. Maybe it's menopause. I know women go through a change that takes a toll on them physically and mentally. If I get her to work here, she'll be set. She won't have to worry about having to fight off muscular men in the ring, she'll make more money whacking off tubby men in the back.
There is a knock on the door, Tony straightens himself abd calls out.
Tony: COME ON IN!
Big Gary, one if the bouncers sticks his head in .
Big Gary: Mr. Tony, I got the new recruits here. You ready to recieve them?
Tony motions for Big Gary to bring them in.
5 women enter the office and stand in a line. Tony gets up and walks over to them as Big Gray exits and closes the door. Tony inspects the first woman. An elderly lady in a floral mumu.
Tony: Okay. I like the gray you got going on there. You may have to shave your armpits. I think you'll do pretty well here. What's your name ma'am?
Recruit#1: Gertrude Ellis
Tony: Gerty, from now on your name will be Foxxy Gray. You can start your shift today. Go outside and let Big Gary know.
Foxxy Gray: thank you, young man.
Foxxy walks slowly towards the door. Tony inspects the next woman. An Asian woman in her 40s, who smells of cigarettes and tuna.
Tony: hmm. You remind me of Alice Knight. The body of a 13 year old boy, but the booty of a pony. What's your name darling?
Recruit #2: Yun Ming Ming.
Tony: Okay. From now on you'll be Sukyou Deep. Go on and tell Big Gary. We'll start you out in the night shift.
Sukyou makes her way towards the door.
Tony walks over to the next recruit. A young buxom lady in her mid twenties with a cute face.
Tony: Sorry, you might be better off working at another establishment.
The young lady hangs her head in shame and exits.
Tony walks over and smiles at the next recruit. A black woman with fucked up teeth, probably due to meth use.
Tony: how old are you darling?
Recruit#4: 29. ( her voice is raspy)
Tony: 29? Damm life hasn't been good to you. You look like you're 65. What's your name sear?
Recruit #4. Lashanda Jones.
Tony: Lashanda, from now on your name will be Chocolate Pudding. Please go tell Big Gary to get you some food and a shower. You can start tomorrow's day shift.
Chocolate makes her way to the exit.
Tony greets the last woman. She's wearing a tank top and shorts.
Tony: Hello ma'am. You look like you've got potential. But I can't help but notice you've got a little bulge in your belly.
Recruit#5: oh honey. I've just had a baby a couple weeks ago and I'm trying to lose the baby weight. But I may also be pregnant again. I'm not quite sure.
Tony: uh. Okay. What's your name dear, and hold old are you?
Recruit#5: Cherri Seville
Tony: Cherri, that's a good name. But I think you have the most potential of all the girls we've seen today. So we're going to give you a good name. Alessandra Hallaway.
Recruit#5: Alessandra Halaway?is that with 1 L or 2? That's so plain. Cherri is a good stripper name. What the hell is Allessandra?
Tony: 1 L.
Cherri: that's so dumb.
Tony: look honey. ever since I've taken over as talent director at nibbles, our business has been booming. The guys that come in here. They want something different . They wanna see women they can't find anywhere else. They don't want to come in here to see Cherri. But they will be intrigued when they hear about Allesandra. Sounds so mysterious, exotic.
Cherri: I don't want to be called no stupid Allessandra Halaway with 1 L. That sounds like some old broad who's been living her life trying to be someone she ain't. Allessandra Halaway with 1 L sounds like some no talent middle aged bitch that is a hanger on and surrounds herself with people who say nice things to make her feel better. Ain't gonna call me no Allesandre Halaeay with 1 L. I'm going somewhere else.
Cherri storms out the door.
Big Gary sticks his head in.
Big Gary : everything okay boss?
Tony: hahahahahahahahahahaha! If you only knew Gary.
Big Gary shakes his head.
Big Gary: I hear you're flying out to Djbouti sir. You need me to arrange a ride for you?
Tony: Yes I do Gary. Thank you.
Big Gary: you wrestling in Djibouti?
Tony : I am against. Alexandra Calaway.
Big Gary: Now why would they go and put you up against some middle aged lady. That's just cruel.
Tony: well if I beat her, she's going to be working here at Nibbles.
Big Gary: for real. For real?
Tony: for real. For real.
Big Gary: Well I got something to help you out then. This is a must win for you and for us.
Gary hands Tony some pills, brass knuckles, and a prison shank.
Tony: I don't think I'll need all that. I mean I am wrestling someone who supposedly has been doing this for a long time but yet hasn't made much impact. I think she's a jobber, just like I've been. I think she's been hanging on to this dream of being a successful wrestler for way too long. Maybe once I beat her, she'll realize her true calling is working here at Nibbles with us. Those saggy tips and wrinkled buttons cheeks is more fit for our stage.
Big Gary shakes his head.
Big Gary: ok. We'll leave in 15 minutes. Who's taking over while you are away?
Tony: I'm leaving Timmy in charge while I'm gone.
Big Gary: Ah. Timmy the Tarantula. We gotta remind him to keep his hands off the talent.
Tony: I'll remind him. But maybe when we get Alexandra Calaway here, she wouldn't mind being touched. She seems like a lady that's been around the block a time or 2.
Big Gary: sounds perfect for Nibbles. Ok, come outside in 15, the SlamBuss will be ready for you.
Tony nods as Big Gary closes the door behind him. Tony goes back to his desk and logs off then turns off the computer. We grabs a piece ot paper and writes a note for Timmy with instructions on what to do while he is away. He opens his phone on clicks in the Twitter app. He types in, " on my way into Djibouti. It stinks there." He laughs out loud one last time. Then heads out to the SlamBuss.
Tony: Hahahahahahahaha!