Post by Crash Rodriguez on Apr 22, 2022 20:05:58 GMT -5
A young man is seen sitting in his seat, head buried in his lap, as the plane zooms through the air.
“Come on, Chuck, you’re really afraid of flying?”
The member of the ring crew peeks up as his colleague continues to film him on their smartphone, before a voice picks up on the P.A. system.
“Uhm, yes, this is your captain speaking and we seem to have faced off with a mean cloud. Meaner than I expected. But we’ll be fine, just some mild -bang OUCH! Sorry, some mild turbulence. But, all is well.”
“Chuck, calm down, mild turbulence is norma-”
“Also, if anybody knows how to co-pilot a plane, that’d be great.”
As screams fill the plane, and the lights go off, Chuck gets out of his seat in a panic.
“Chuck, it’s gonna be ok, just calm dow-”
Before he can react, Chuck is slammed into by the co-pilots lifeless body and starts barrelling towards the back, before hitting his head and passing out.
Chuck’s eyes lift open, while he lays on the beach. As the sun beats down on him, he lifts himself to his feet, only to discover his leg is broken. He limps his way towards the tree line, hoping the shade will protect him. The realization of what’s happening quickly sinks in, driving terror into his heart. As he practices his breathing, he notices smoke barreling from further in the island. With no other choice he makes his way towards it, hoping to find other survivors and maybe even some help. As Chuck pushes through the brush, the smoke takes off in his direction, knocking him onto his back, emptying his lungs of his oxygen. As his vision returns, Chuck is lifted into the air by his leg, his life flashing before his eyes, before a somewhat familiar voice rings out.
"Where are the others?"
As snot runs up his face, Chuck blinks away his tears. His brain starts racing. Smoke monsters? Others? His confusion fades as he sees his captor’s face.
“How the hell did you get her-”
Before Chuck can finish his question, the ‘Smoke Monster’ throws him against a tree.
“Oh, wonder-fucking-ful job, kid. So tell me, how’s he gonna tell us how to get to the show?”
With that Lou Pohl steps over joining the ‘smoke monster’, Crash Rodriguez. Crash looks over at Lou and shrugs.
“He was beginning to ask too many questions.”
Lou’s face contorts into pure confusion.
“One? One question is too many now? Fuck me, I just asked two, ya gonna throw me off a cliff?”
“Calm down, he’ll wake up.”
The former attorney throws his arms up in the air as he begins pacing.
“We still gotta find where they’re holding the show, and we don’t have a lot of time. Do you expect to just show up last minute? Ridiculous. We gotta hit hair, makeup, the seamstress, and let’s not forget Knife Man wants to check out that head of yours.”
“My head? I’m not the idiot who decided to throw a show on a make-believe island.”
Lou turns looking puzzled.
“The fuck are you talking about?”
“Australia”
“What?”
“Australia”
“No, I heard what you said, I’m just trying to understand what you’re trying to say.”
“Lou. Australia isn’t real.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? Australia is real.”
“Lou, have you ever been to Australia?”
“Well, no, but I’ve had co-workers who’ve visi-”
“Oh yeah? They visited Australia? Lou, they were fucking with you. Australia isn’t any more real than North Dakota, or birds for that matter.”
Lou stares at Crash exasperated, before shaking his head and walking away.
“They really did a number on your head, huh?”
Crash blinks a few times as his mind is overtaken by memory.
"You're good, mijo, but you're no campeón."
A young Crash stares at La Colisión, balling his fists as he musters up the courage to speak.
"I think I could be if you'd just give me a shot. Dad, please ju-"
Crash's face is met by a slap from his father. The masked wrestler looks at his son with disgust.
"We are at work. There's no dad here. Now listen to me, as your boss, you're no champion. Never will be. Now get your ass to the locker room, and get your mask on. Your match is next."
The scene begins to melt away as Crash returns to reality, shaking away the thoughts. He catches up to Lou.
"What are you doing? Go pick that guy up. We need a guide."
"No."
"And why not?"
"I feel like he'll just ruin things and make all this feel 'static'. He's done his part, so let's just leave 'em."
Lou raises an eyebrow, absolutely at a loss for words. As he tries to find the words to express his confusion, Crash breaks the silence.
"I pay you. You listen to me. Now start walking."
Lou nods his head, and starts heading deeper into the trees, as The Crooked Man catches up to him.
“Hey, look over there!”
Lou points through the bushes, as the stage lights illuminate the two’s faces. Finally, they’ve made their way back to OCW. The two push through the bushes, Lou’s arms spread expecting praise, only to be ignored. Lou looks around throwing his hands up in defeat, as he blindly guides Crash through the construction site.
“Those fucking cocksuckers sure do know how to hide. I mean fuck, we were wandering around for hours.”
“Perhaps they’re afraid of polar bear attacks.”
Lou raises an eyebrow as he gives his client a quick look up and down.
“Kid, why would there be polar bears? It’s a fucking island somewhere between America and Australia, not Santa’s fucking workshop”
“A trip to Santa’s Village might be a good idea come December, if the idea isn’t already done to hell.”
“Oh, you’re right, that’s a good idea, I’ll keep that in mi- Wait, that’s not the point. Yenno what, doesn’t matter, we gotta go find Knife Man. OCW officials are demanding a pre match check up.”
“Simple enough.”
“Yeah you may think so, but I can already tell our best bet is for you to just sit there quietly and let me do all the talking.”
The irony of Lou’s statement isn’t lost on Crash. After all that’s pretty much been the schtick for what seemed like an eternity already. As the two walk towards one of the tents, with a rather hastily made banner reading ‘Medic’, one of the spotlights turns on blinding the two men mid-step. The Crooked Man closes his eyes and throws his hands up, trying to shield himself from the lights. As the light dies down Crash opens his eyes, finding himself in another flashback.
The roughly 6 month younger Crash Rodriguez walks through the front door of the local food store. His eyes dart around finally finding the liquor section in the back, as he makes his way down the aisle he’s stopped by a man calling out to him.
“Hey, Crash?”
The chubby man stands there holding a box of donuts, looking as if hadn’t bathed in weeks. Crash covers his nose trying to save himself from the stench.
“Oh man, it is you!”
The fat bastard goes to give the OCW signee a hug, only to have his box of donuts slapped out of his hands, and himself pushed back.
“Don’t lay your filthy hands on me, slob.”
The man crouches down to retrieve the box of donuts from the ground, but before he can grab them Crash stomps on the box.
“Consider this a favor. Now you can get a better diet.”
The man’s face is filled with pain and humiliation as Crash continues towards his destination, only to find himself slipping back to the present day. Crash looks up, eyeing his representative as he holds open the tent. Crash nods his head as he steps through, throwing up his hands in excitement.
“Knife Man, my main man, how the hell are ya?”
Crash's greeting is met by silence and an empty room. As the two look around the tent, they catch not a single glimpse of OCW’s resident medic/mechanic. As the two continue to walk around the tent, Lou's face turns from confusion to annoyance.
“I swear to fuck, nothing changes with this company. Never fucking prepared, lost on a random ass island, running late due to trivia games, and who knows how many other disastrous decisions have popped out of this place. Fuck it, let’s go kid.”
Lou leads Crash towards the exit, kicking the dirt up with each step. Right as the former attorney pushes through the curtain, he collides and falls on his back, only to look up and scream in horror as he catches his reflection on a large knife .
“OH FUCK, KID! RUUUUN!”
Lou looks back towards his suspected attacker. He throws up a hand before realizing there’s no attempt on his life, but rather The Knife Man returning from fixing a faulty generator.
“The fuck are you doing running around with a knife? You could’ve fucking gutted me, and trust me if that were to happen, being trapped on this god for saken island would be the least of your worries.”
“Well, I do want to extend my apologies, I suppose it is quite frightening to bump into a man with a knife, but please understand I was on my way back from fixi-”
“Please understand that we don’t give a fuck. Look, let’s just get this over with.”
“This?”
“The fucking medical checkup! They told me to bring Crash to you for an evaluation to ensure he can compete.”
“Oh, yes. That’s right, let me go grab the paperwork.”
The OCW staff member walks over to a desk, opening the second drawer and removing a stack of papers.
“Here you go. Crash just go ahead and sign on the bottom and you’re medically cleared to compete.”
Lou stares at the ‘doctor’ dumbfounded, as Crash lays down his John Hancock.
“Wait, what do you mean? That’s it? No brain scans, motor skills test, nothing? Isn’t this both unsafe and illegal?”
“Lou, it’s OCW.”
“He’s right. Mr. Pohl, this is OCW.”
Knife Man takes the pages from Crash and slides them back into his desk.
“Now, It’s really good to see you again, Mr. Rodriguez, but I must admit, I’m curious.”
“Ah, I see. Sorry Knifey, I got all my experimenting out in 7th grade summer camp, but I mean, I’m pretty sure they have an app for tha-”
“Uh, I’m sorry to interrupt but I was alluding to how you got here, we’ve been trapped on this island for a while with no clear way to escape, and then you pop up weeks later out of the blue.”
“We ain't got time for 20 questions, you got your paperwork, so we’re leaving now. We got a match to prepare for.”
With that Lou heads out of the tent with Crash Rodriguez close behind.
“So what’s the match?”
“You don’t know?”
“Well, I know the winner’s named the number one contender for the Craze Championship, but I really don’t know much past that.”
“How do you not know? This is your fucking job kid.”
“Lou, I’ve been in a fucking coma. I have no idea as to what’s going on.”
“Your match was announced after the coma. You can’t use that excuse this time.”
“Ok, whatever. Just give me the rundown. Who am I ripping apart?”
“Well, there’s Roach, so there’s one name you’ve already competed with.”
“I fought Roach? Really? When?”
“Triple threat match, July 22nd, 2019. In fact you won.”
“Damn, I hardly remember him existing. Ok, wanna run me a name actually worth my time.”
“Look, yes you beat him before but that was nearly 3 years ago. You’re nowhere near the same person, you expect Roach to be? Anything can happen.”
“You think he’ll write ‘beaten by Crash Rodriguez twice’ in his accolades?”
“Haha, very funny. Alright, there’s also Thunder Knuc-”
“El Knuckle.”
“Oh, right ‘El Knuc’-, wait I thought you hadn’t watched the show? How could you possibly know about-”
“Because Knuckle goes beyond OCW. Man’s a legend already, and I’m sure he’ll be a struggle.”
“Oh, never seen you worried before.”
“I never said I was worried, I said it’d be a struggle, like carrying a big bag of cow shit up a hill. Well, when I put it like that, I guess it is almost the exact same struggle.”
“I should’ve known you’d never take any of this seriously. Why come back if you’re not going to put in the effort. I’m trying to help you achieve what we both know is truly yours, the Craze Championship, and all you wanna do is make jokes, play games and ignore everything the least bit important.”
“Lou.”
“No, let me fucking talk. You have all this fucking potential, but you just squander by half assing your way through, week after week. I’m honestly considering quitting and leavi-”
“Lou. Shut up and listen to me.”
Lou gulps down his fear as he tries his hardest to maintain eye contact with The Crooked Man.
“You truly believe I’m championship material?”
Lou raises an eye taken off guard, having expected a verbal beat-down and the earnest question presented to him.
“I always have, kid.”
Crash nods his head, remembering the words his father once spoke to him. As he sits quietly mulling over both his father and Lou’s differing opinions.
“Alright. Roach, El Knuckle, and who else.”
“Well… We got Bob Grenier, another former opponent.”
“That’s right. GCWA, Tag match. Bob Grenier and Chad Vargas.”
“You lost the titles that night. I see this as a good opportunity to make up for that.”
“Bob’s a legend in this business, even larger in this company. I’m sure years have been taken off his life, and with Technical Difficulties, I’ll take the rest of the time he’s got left.”
“You ain't gotta kill the guy.”
“Ok, so either I’m too serious or taking the piss?”
“Look, I’m just saying murder seems like a terrible idea. Only lawyer I know who could guarantee you walk away from the case got disbarred.”
“You’re talking about yourself, I presume.”
“Most fucking definitely. Kid, you know how many cases I’ve won? It’ll be easier to count the cases I lost. Zero! That’s right, undefeated, undisputed. Absolutely the greatest, no question. I was the best lawyer in the game sinc-”
“Yeah, you WERE. Now, you are an overpaid assistant at best.”
Lou looks up at Crash, hurt filling his eyes.
“Ok, let’s move on.”
“Yeah we don’t have a lot of time left, and you haven’t even named Sadie or Easton.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry. So with Sadi-... I thought you didn’t know who was in the match!”
“I googled it while you were ranting about being a good attorney. Sadie and Easton even had a match on the last massacre, good ole over the top rope elimination battle royal, Bob was there too. None of them won, so it should be fun to watch them lose a second championship opportunity.”
Lou smiles at Crash, as a cameraman runs up to the pair of men.
“Hey, Crash! Lou! I didn’t know you guys were even on the plane!”
“We weren’t”
“How’d you guys get her-”
“Look kid, we got shit to do. This guy’s got a match to go prepare for, so stop your asinine questions already.”
“I’m so sorry, Lou. Uhm, but could I maybe get a second from Crash, just a quick video, to let the world know what’s going on, if you don’t mind.”
Lou looks over at Crash, lifting his eyebrow in questioning, only for his client to shrug and tell the camera operator to start rolling.
“It’s been too long. It’s been way too long. You see, I debuted in this company nearly 3 years ago. Didn’t take long before I stood face to face with the Craze Championship. I fought like hell, I ripped through flesh… Yet it wasn’t enough. So I march forward, I keep pushing, and then OCW closes down. I honed my craft, competing anywhere I saw to be a fit for me.”
Crash runs his hands through his hair, throwing it back.
“Then they reopened, and I returned, and I broke necks, and piled lifeless bodies, and before too long, I again found myself inches from being a champion… Before I could blink that dream was dashed and my ass was purged. Backstage can tell me all they want, how they didn’t want to cut me, how they wish I could’ve stayed. Before too long I found myself on my way back, only to be left in a garage for dead. Internal bleeding, multiple concussions, and a fucking coma later, and Crash Rodriguez is back, but this time I’m not going to get close to that championship. I’m going to take Bob, Sadie, Roach, Easton, and El Knuckle. I’m going to take them on a fantastic voyage, oh yes. One full of blood, broken bones, and destroyed dreams, because I’m Crash Rodriguez. And it’s about time I start taking what’s mine.”
Crash walks away towards the beachside, as Lou nods in approval.
“Come on, Chuck, you’re really afraid of flying?”
The member of the ring crew peeks up as his colleague continues to film him on their smartphone, before a voice picks up on the P.A. system.
“Uhm, yes, this is your captain speaking and we seem to have faced off with a mean cloud. Meaner than I expected. But we’ll be fine, just some mild -bang OUCH! Sorry, some mild turbulence. But, all is well.”
“Chuck, calm down, mild turbulence is norma-”
“Also, if anybody knows how to co-pilot a plane, that’d be great.”
As screams fill the plane, and the lights go off, Chuck gets out of his seat in a panic.
“Chuck, it’s gonna be ok, just calm dow-”
Before he can react, Chuck is slammed into by the co-pilots lifeless body and starts barrelling towards the back, before hitting his head and passing out.
Chuck’s eyes lift open, while he lays on the beach. As the sun beats down on him, he lifts himself to his feet, only to discover his leg is broken. He limps his way towards the tree line, hoping the shade will protect him. The realization of what’s happening quickly sinks in, driving terror into his heart. As he practices his breathing, he notices smoke barreling from further in the island. With no other choice he makes his way towards it, hoping to find other survivors and maybe even some help. As Chuck pushes through the brush, the smoke takes off in his direction, knocking him onto his back, emptying his lungs of his oxygen. As his vision returns, Chuck is lifted into the air by his leg, his life flashing before his eyes, before a somewhat familiar voice rings out.
"Where are the others?"
As snot runs up his face, Chuck blinks away his tears. His brain starts racing. Smoke monsters? Others? His confusion fades as he sees his captor’s face.
“How the hell did you get her-”
Before Chuck can finish his question, the ‘Smoke Monster’ throws him against a tree.
“Oh, wonder-fucking-ful job, kid. So tell me, how’s he gonna tell us how to get to the show?”
With that Lou Pohl steps over joining the ‘smoke monster’, Crash Rodriguez. Crash looks over at Lou and shrugs.
“He was beginning to ask too many questions.”
Lou’s face contorts into pure confusion.
“One? One question is too many now? Fuck me, I just asked two, ya gonna throw me off a cliff?”
“Calm down, he’ll wake up.”
The former attorney throws his arms up in the air as he begins pacing.
“We still gotta find where they’re holding the show, and we don’t have a lot of time. Do you expect to just show up last minute? Ridiculous. We gotta hit hair, makeup, the seamstress, and let’s not forget Knife Man wants to check out that head of yours.”
“My head? I’m not the idiot who decided to throw a show on a make-believe island.”
Lou turns looking puzzled.
“The fuck are you talking about?”
“Australia”
“What?”
“Australia”
“No, I heard what you said, I’m just trying to understand what you’re trying to say.”
“Lou. Australia isn’t real.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? Australia is real.”
“Lou, have you ever been to Australia?”
“Well, no, but I’ve had co-workers who’ve visi-”
“Oh yeah? They visited Australia? Lou, they were fucking with you. Australia isn’t any more real than North Dakota, or birds for that matter.”
Lou stares at Crash exasperated, before shaking his head and walking away.
“They really did a number on your head, huh?”
Crash blinks a few times as his mind is overtaken by memory.
"You're good, mijo, but you're no campeón."
A young Crash stares at La Colisión, balling his fists as he musters up the courage to speak.
"I think I could be if you'd just give me a shot. Dad, please ju-"
Crash's face is met by a slap from his father. The masked wrestler looks at his son with disgust.
"We are at work. There's no dad here. Now listen to me, as your boss, you're no champion. Never will be. Now get your ass to the locker room, and get your mask on. Your match is next."
The scene begins to melt away as Crash returns to reality, shaking away the thoughts. He catches up to Lou.
"What are you doing? Go pick that guy up. We need a guide."
"No."
"And why not?"
"I feel like he'll just ruin things and make all this feel 'static'. He's done his part, so let's just leave 'em."
Lou raises an eyebrow, absolutely at a loss for words. As he tries to find the words to express his confusion, Crash breaks the silence.
"I pay you. You listen to me. Now start walking."
Lou nods his head, and starts heading deeper into the trees, as The Crooked Man catches up to him.
“Hey, look over there!”
Lou points through the bushes, as the stage lights illuminate the two’s faces. Finally, they’ve made their way back to OCW. The two push through the bushes, Lou’s arms spread expecting praise, only to be ignored. Lou looks around throwing his hands up in defeat, as he blindly guides Crash through the construction site.
“Those fucking cocksuckers sure do know how to hide. I mean fuck, we were wandering around for hours.”
“Perhaps they’re afraid of polar bear attacks.”
Lou raises an eyebrow as he gives his client a quick look up and down.
“Kid, why would there be polar bears? It’s a fucking island somewhere between America and Australia, not Santa’s fucking workshop”
“A trip to Santa’s Village might be a good idea come December, if the idea isn’t already done to hell.”
“Oh, you’re right, that’s a good idea, I’ll keep that in mi- Wait, that’s not the point. Yenno what, doesn’t matter, we gotta go find Knife Man. OCW officials are demanding a pre match check up.”
“Simple enough.”
“Yeah you may think so, but I can already tell our best bet is for you to just sit there quietly and let me do all the talking.”
The irony of Lou’s statement isn’t lost on Crash. After all that’s pretty much been the schtick for what seemed like an eternity already. As the two walk towards one of the tents, with a rather hastily made banner reading ‘Medic’, one of the spotlights turns on blinding the two men mid-step. The Crooked Man closes his eyes and throws his hands up, trying to shield himself from the lights. As the light dies down Crash opens his eyes, finding himself in another flashback.
The roughly 6 month younger Crash Rodriguez walks through the front door of the local food store. His eyes dart around finally finding the liquor section in the back, as he makes his way down the aisle he’s stopped by a man calling out to him.
“Hey, Crash?”
The chubby man stands there holding a box of donuts, looking as if hadn’t bathed in weeks. Crash covers his nose trying to save himself from the stench.
“Oh man, it is you!”
The fat bastard goes to give the OCW signee a hug, only to have his box of donuts slapped out of his hands, and himself pushed back.
“Don’t lay your filthy hands on me, slob.”
The man crouches down to retrieve the box of donuts from the ground, but before he can grab them Crash stomps on the box.
“Consider this a favor. Now you can get a better diet.”
The man’s face is filled with pain and humiliation as Crash continues towards his destination, only to find himself slipping back to the present day. Crash looks up, eyeing his representative as he holds open the tent. Crash nods his head as he steps through, throwing up his hands in excitement.
“Knife Man, my main man, how the hell are ya?”
Crash's greeting is met by silence and an empty room. As the two look around the tent, they catch not a single glimpse of OCW’s resident medic/mechanic. As the two continue to walk around the tent, Lou's face turns from confusion to annoyance.
“I swear to fuck, nothing changes with this company. Never fucking prepared, lost on a random ass island, running late due to trivia games, and who knows how many other disastrous decisions have popped out of this place. Fuck it, let’s go kid.”
Lou leads Crash towards the exit, kicking the dirt up with each step. Right as the former attorney pushes through the curtain, he collides and falls on his back, only to look up and scream in horror as he catches his reflection on a large knife .
“OH FUCK, KID! RUUUUN!”
Lou looks back towards his suspected attacker. He throws up a hand before realizing there’s no attempt on his life, but rather The Knife Man returning from fixing a faulty generator.
“The fuck are you doing running around with a knife? You could’ve fucking gutted me, and trust me if that were to happen, being trapped on this god for saken island would be the least of your worries.”
“Well, I do want to extend my apologies, I suppose it is quite frightening to bump into a man with a knife, but please understand I was on my way back from fixi-”
“Please understand that we don’t give a fuck. Look, let’s just get this over with.”
“This?”
“The fucking medical checkup! They told me to bring Crash to you for an evaluation to ensure he can compete.”
“Oh, yes. That’s right, let me go grab the paperwork.”
The OCW staff member walks over to a desk, opening the second drawer and removing a stack of papers.
“Here you go. Crash just go ahead and sign on the bottom and you’re medically cleared to compete.”
Lou stares at the ‘doctor’ dumbfounded, as Crash lays down his John Hancock.
“Wait, what do you mean? That’s it? No brain scans, motor skills test, nothing? Isn’t this both unsafe and illegal?”
“Lou, it’s OCW.”
“He’s right. Mr. Pohl, this is OCW.”
Knife Man takes the pages from Crash and slides them back into his desk.
“Now, It’s really good to see you again, Mr. Rodriguez, but I must admit, I’m curious.”
“Ah, I see. Sorry Knifey, I got all my experimenting out in 7th grade summer camp, but I mean, I’m pretty sure they have an app for tha-”
“Uh, I’m sorry to interrupt but I was alluding to how you got here, we’ve been trapped on this island for a while with no clear way to escape, and then you pop up weeks later out of the blue.”
“We ain't got time for 20 questions, you got your paperwork, so we’re leaving now. We got a match to prepare for.”
With that Lou heads out of the tent with Crash Rodriguez close behind.
“So what’s the match?”
“You don’t know?”
“Well, I know the winner’s named the number one contender for the Craze Championship, but I really don’t know much past that.”
“How do you not know? This is your fucking job kid.”
“Lou, I’ve been in a fucking coma. I have no idea as to what’s going on.”
“Your match was announced after the coma. You can’t use that excuse this time.”
“Ok, whatever. Just give me the rundown. Who am I ripping apart?”
“Well, there’s Roach, so there’s one name you’ve already competed with.”
“I fought Roach? Really? When?”
“Triple threat match, July 22nd, 2019. In fact you won.”
“Damn, I hardly remember him existing. Ok, wanna run me a name actually worth my time.”
“Look, yes you beat him before but that was nearly 3 years ago. You’re nowhere near the same person, you expect Roach to be? Anything can happen.”
“You think he’ll write ‘beaten by Crash Rodriguez twice’ in his accolades?”
“Haha, very funny. Alright, there’s also Thunder Knuc-”
“El Knuckle.”
“Oh, right ‘El Knuc’-, wait I thought you hadn’t watched the show? How could you possibly know about-”
“Because Knuckle goes beyond OCW. Man’s a legend already, and I’m sure he’ll be a struggle.”
“Oh, never seen you worried before.”
“I never said I was worried, I said it’d be a struggle, like carrying a big bag of cow shit up a hill. Well, when I put it like that, I guess it is almost the exact same struggle.”
“I should’ve known you’d never take any of this seriously. Why come back if you’re not going to put in the effort. I’m trying to help you achieve what we both know is truly yours, the Craze Championship, and all you wanna do is make jokes, play games and ignore everything the least bit important.”
“Lou.”
“No, let me fucking talk. You have all this fucking potential, but you just squander by half assing your way through, week after week. I’m honestly considering quitting and leavi-”
“Lou. Shut up and listen to me.”
Lou gulps down his fear as he tries his hardest to maintain eye contact with The Crooked Man.
“You truly believe I’m championship material?”
Lou raises an eye taken off guard, having expected a verbal beat-down and the earnest question presented to him.
“I always have, kid.”
Crash nods his head, remembering the words his father once spoke to him. As he sits quietly mulling over both his father and Lou’s differing opinions.
“Alright. Roach, El Knuckle, and who else.”
“Well… We got Bob Grenier, another former opponent.”
“That’s right. GCWA, Tag match. Bob Grenier and Chad Vargas.”
“You lost the titles that night. I see this as a good opportunity to make up for that.”
“Bob’s a legend in this business, even larger in this company. I’m sure years have been taken off his life, and with Technical Difficulties, I’ll take the rest of the time he’s got left.”
“You ain't gotta kill the guy.”
“Ok, so either I’m too serious or taking the piss?”
“Look, I’m just saying murder seems like a terrible idea. Only lawyer I know who could guarantee you walk away from the case got disbarred.”
“You’re talking about yourself, I presume.”
“Most fucking definitely. Kid, you know how many cases I’ve won? It’ll be easier to count the cases I lost. Zero! That’s right, undefeated, undisputed. Absolutely the greatest, no question. I was the best lawyer in the game sinc-”
“Yeah, you WERE. Now, you are an overpaid assistant at best.”
Lou looks up at Crash, hurt filling his eyes.
“Ok, let’s move on.”
“Yeah we don’t have a lot of time left, and you haven’t even named Sadie or Easton.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry. So with Sadi-... I thought you didn’t know who was in the match!”
“I googled it while you were ranting about being a good attorney. Sadie and Easton even had a match on the last massacre, good ole over the top rope elimination battle royal, Bob was there too. None of them won, so it should be fun to watch them lose a second championship opportunity.”
Lou smiles at Crash, as a cameraman runs up to the pair of men.
“Hey, Crash! Lou! I didn’t know you guys were even on the plane!”
“We weren’t”
“How’d you guys get her-”
“Look kid, we got shit to do. This guy’s got a match to go prepare for, so stop your asinine questions already.”
“I’m so sorry, Lou. Uhm, but could I maybe get a second from Crash, just a quick video, to let the world know what’s going on, if you don’t mind.”
Lou looks over at Crash, lifting his eyebrow in questioning, only for his client to shrug and tell the camera operator to start rolling.
“It’s been too long. It’s been way too long. You see, I debuted in this company nearly 3 years ago. Didn’t take long before I stood face to face with the Craze Championship. I fought like hell, I ripped through flesh… Yet it wasn’t enough. So I march forward, I keep pushing, and then OCW closes down. I honed my craft, competing anywhere I saw to be a fit for me.”
Crash runs his hands through his hair, throwing it back.
“Then they reopened, and I returned, and I broke necks, and piled lifeless bodies, and before too long, I again found myself inches from being a champion… Before I could blink that dream was dashed and my ass was purged. Backstage can tell me all they want, how they didn’t want to cut me, how they wish I could’ve stayed. Before too long I found myself on my way back, only to be left in a garage for dead. Internal bleeding, multiple concussions, and a fucking coma later, and Crash Rodriguez is back, but this time I’m not going to get close to that championship. I’m going to take Bob, Sadie, Roach, Easton, and El Knuckle. I’m going to take them on a fantastic voyage, oh yes. One full of blood, broken bones, and destroyed dreams, because I’m Crash Rodriguez. And it’s about time I start taking what’s mine.”
Crash walks away towards the beachside, as Lou nods in approval.