Post by Alice Knight on Apr 14, 2022 18:39:22 GMT -5
CJ's SURPRISE PICNIC!
Tuff.
Tough titty said the kitties. I got this. I made my debut in OCW in a Battle Royal. And I've never stopped being the most talked about and interesting wrestler in the company since. You can't kill this owl... unless you have bullets and a gun. Or a knife.
You're missing the point here. I got this. This is my match. My win. My title shot. Bon. Fin. Bonjour."
~We cut to Alice Knight speaking out loud to herself as she writes in her Island 'diary', a piece of tree bark. CJ walks up behind her. She immediately hides her 'diary'. ~
CJ O’Donnell: What are you jotting down,my queen?
Alice: I can't tell you, it's a surprise.
CJ O’Donnell: I love surprises. Let me see …
~CJ tries to look over the shoulder of Alice but she is holding her journal close to her chest. ~
CJ O’Donnell: You know we have all kinds of paper sitting in our little hut. You don't have to use tree bark.
Alice: Then what will we use for toilet paper?
CJ O’Donnell: Um, toilet paper from the plane? What have you been using?
Alice: Um, yes, Toilet paper also. Ha. I need to head out to grab a few things. You stay here and keep that fire going...
Alice stands up and rubs her hand through CJ's beard.
CJ O’Donnell: I could use a hike, I'll come with you. I can show you that big ant hill I saw earlier. You'd love it.
Alice: Later, 'kay bae? I got something planned. You just prepare for your Massacre match and your 'incredible' buried alive match.
CJ O’Donnell: I guess so... you little tease. But beating TIO will be easy with or without a workout. Your workouts definitely keep my cardio among other things up all night.
Alice: You just sit there and be sexy, you. I'll be back…
~ CJ watches as Alice walks away and bites his bottom lip. ~
CJ O’Donnell: That is probably the sexiest woman alive. I wonder where she is going?
~ O’Donnell wonders a bit and looks around for Alice but she is out of his sight. ~
CJ O’Donnell: You know I think it’s time I do something nice for her. She hasn’t been quite herself. She needs to feel good about herself. It’s time to go back to basics. It’s time to make Alice feel like she did when she first won the OCW title. I want to make her smile until it hurts. It is time to become the ultimate hype man for my queen.
HOURS LATER
Alice can be seen holding a towel full of fruits, vegetables and flowers she snatches as she walks through the jungle. She sneaks a few berries into her mouth. She spots a giant mushroom with what appears full of mould and fungi. Alice picks it up and takes a huge bite of it.
Alice(mout full): Could use some mustard, but not bad...
She puts it in her towel of snacks are carries on. But now staggering and feeling woozy.
CUTS TO BLACK
Alice: Most of the psychological community agrees there are five stages a person must go through when confronting death.
The first Stage is ANGER.
Alice can be seen leaning her head on a rock. Hands clenched, eyes budging out. Seemingly full of rage.
Alice: What is this new crop of talent coming in thinking they're better than me? ME!!?! I am Alice F'n Knight. Creepy Sadie Ko? Who the fuck? I mean who does your make up, girl? Stevie Wonder? Because he's blind. Get it? Ha! NO! Wait, a blind Freddy Kruger? You psycho bitch, taking up my TV time with your insanity. I am Alice. HOOT! You don't get to have a title match... me do. Me! Fuck off you stupid bees!
Alice begins swatting and hallucinating imaginary Bees from her head.
The Second stage is Denial.
Alice is now looking at her reflection in a little water bed all smiles as she strokes her fingers through her hair. She holds up a old wet seaweed, and pretends it's a belt.
Alice: God damn I am sexy today. With my OCW title. I earned this. Pffff... Today? Talk about, like, always sexy. And a winner. I am like the champion already. And this is my jungle. CJ is my man. I am the queen of the jungle and he is my king. And WE LOOOOOVE RULING THIS HELL WHOLE! Unlike that loser Kelson... 'Ooooh, look at me. I'm Kelson Hewitt. I think i'm all this. I think I'm all that'. You know what I think, Kelsey? Your nothing but another Brad the Professor. Or a Roachy-Mc-Roach-ster. Just another lower tier loser bumble bees trying to steal my honey. Just like these damn bees.
Alice swats again and catches herself in the reflection again. She smiles and winks at herself.
The Third Stage... Hunger.
Two baby Koala bears can be seen playing with each other in the long grass. Alice can be seen sneaking up behind them with a large rock in her hand. Licking her lips.
Alice(whisperin): CJ likes meat. I like meat. We must have meat at the picnic. Brim and Easton look like meat lovers. With their large bellies. I bet they would try to eat me if it came down to the three of us in the battle royal. No! NO! YOU CAN'T EAT ME, EASTON! YOU CAN'T EAT ME BRIM! YOU FUCKERS!! FUCK!
While Alice is shouting at Brim and Easton to herself. It scares off the baby koala bears. Alice throws a rock at them but does not connect. She falls to her knees and screams.
HOOOOOOOOOOOTahhhh!
The fourth Stage is FEAR
Alice now seen curled up in a ball, holding her knees, shaking.
Alice: Who am I? What am I? What is this? Where am I? Who am I? Wait... I said that already... what... Why is this happening to me? Mike Zybala? He is a friend. He WAS a friend. He cannot be trusted? I don't want to eat you Mikey. You gave me that outsider money work. He's such a nice guy who deserves a title match... but so do I. Unless... unless... i tear off his face in the match and wear it to the pay per view? Two become one? Yeah, that's what I am going to do. Unless... wait... no? He isn't gonna wear my face? Is he thinking it...?
Alice(doing a scratchy voice): HE IS, AWWWW-LICE!
Alice(normal voice): I don't believe you... me?
Alice begins laughing hysterically.
The fifth and final stage is... ACCEPTANCE
Alice can now be seen on top of a cliff on the island. Below her is a bunch of sharp rocks. She stands there, arms spread, flapping them like a owl.
Alice: I forgot about Bob! Canadian BOB! Is he the one? Is he the one to get MY title match for the Trans Atlantic title? I knew i couldn't trust a damn Canadian. They smell bad, they talk bad, they are the worst of the worst. We have had our big battles in the past. Even almost befriended each other lately but... nope. He can't. Is he? He is going to get MY title match? Nah, I won't get him the satisfaction. I won't lose to that wackadoo Sadie Ko. Those fat fucks, Easton and Brim, no body Mcgoo Kelson, fun loving idiot Zybala... or Bob! Fuckin' BOB! NOPE! I'll die first... I'll jump off these rocks and kill myself first. Right now... or... i'll fly off this island and get CJ help and let everyone die here. Yeah...
NO!
Not this year.
Alice blinks a couple of times. She then proceeds, in a very lady like way, vomits the chewed up mushroom right onto the rocks below. She falls to her knees on the cliff and crawls back to safety.
Alice: Jesus... Christ? That... was trippy. What was I gonna do again? Hmmm... SHIT! THE PICNIC FOR CJ!!!
Alice stands up, fixes her dress and grabs another large rock and runs to the tall grass.
THREE HOURS LATER
CJ O'Donnell: That's a bizarre day and story, hun. What happened next? Also how did you find a chicken on this island? This is delicious.
Alice and CJ can be seen on a picnic blanket as the sun sets in front of them. With a little fire by them roasting some meat.
Alice: Well I collected the fruits and veggies. And found this, um, 'chicken' and plucked off all the, um, fur... fur... feathers... um... and ya, just, just cooked it up. Holy shit a shooting star!
Alice points to the sky as CJ looks up. As he looks Alice throws a towel over the skinned, headless koala bear bodies by the bloody rock.
CJ O'Donnell: I don't see it...
Alice: Maybe it's just my eyes seeing sexy things, like you. Get it? Of course you do... anyway, I thought you deserved it.
CJ O'Donnell: You did this all for me, huh?
Alice: You're my king. My king gets what he wants.
CJ O'Donnell: Soon WE will have it all.
CJ gently moves closer to Alice and kisses her on the forehead. Alice quickly moves his chin down to her lips where they proceed to make out and grope each other as the sun sets.
"See... another Picnic boys. Drink it in. Drink it allllll in. CJ O'Donnell is the KING of OCW. And I am THE QUEEN! And when he buries TIO alive at Technical Difficulties... and I get my Trans Atlantic championship match down the road after i toss those other jerk offs into the ocean on Massacre. I promise you more picnics. More romance. More sexiness. And of course, more dominance of OCW by their King and Queen. #Hoot."
The bark diary can be seen thrown into a pile of CJ and Alice's clothes and underwear by the fire on the messed up blanket as the scene fades.