Post by Alice Knight on Jan 31, 2022 1:05:16 GMT -5
Lot has happened since Access Denied. Alice Knight, the returning OCW star will be wrestling Zeus in her first return match in the company. But while the beloved HOOTer is back with a huge following. Some still don't like the OWL is NIGHT. Hood? Gideon? Who else?
But first, another ALICE KNIGHT ADVENTURE.
We see a small Mexican paper boy shouting on the streets of Roswell, New Mexico.
"Si! Si! Aliens found again in another incident right here in Roswell! Believed to be wearing our police officers skin says the Mayor... Si!
The boy stands there getting no attention from the people as dust and tumble weeds pass by him. He browses through the papers other headlines."
"SI! SI! EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about it! Alice Knight is officially BACK IN OCW! SHE COST GIDEON CROSS HIS MATCH! AND WILL BE IN ROSWELL FOR A HOOT SPECIAL MATCH ON MASSACRE!!! SI! SI!"
A crowd of people rush the boy and within seconds he sells every paper. The boy looks shocked as he counts his change and cash walking down the street. He passes a parked car. We focus on the car. In the driver's seat is none other than OCW Hall of Famer, Alice Knight. Next to her is her long time homeless friend, Ferguson. Who also happens to be shirtless and bearded. In the backseat is Owlie in a cage. Who is flipping out as she bites on her cage. Alice, looking over a map, a folded 'paper map', nothing digital. Both are chewing on gummy worms.
Alice: Hmmm. Even though these gummy worms are delicious... we're lost, Fergie. And close your armpits. It reeks in here like gross man sweat.
Ferguson: I think you smell...
Alice: Yeah, like a sweet flower.
Ferguson(under his breath): ... dipped in stinky mustard.
Alice punches him in the shoulder.
Alice: What was that?
Ferguson rubs his shoulder pointing at the boy walking.
Ferguson: Just ask that midget for directions, gawd damn it
Alice: Hey, midget! I mean, dwarf! NO! Little person! Pony man???
Boy: Huh? What? Me? I am a 12 year old boy...
Alice: Yeah? Good. Dwarfs scare the crap out of me. So... regular sized boy then! Can you help me out for a second?
Boy: Um, sure? What can I help you with ma'am?
Alice: I need directions. I can't seem to find where OCW Massacre is taking place. Is there a nearby arena that holds wrestling and sports events around here?
Boy: Si! It's just two blocks away and...
Alice looks confused and sighs. She interrupts the boy.
Alice: Look, I am not good at directions. Why don't you hop in the car with my pet caged owl and my shirtless homeless friend. You can sit on his lap. Plus we have all kinds of candy too. Hop in..
Ferguson, holding a bag of gummies as he waves at the kid.
Boy: I really shouldn't talk to strangers. Or get into cars with them. Why don't you just write down the directions... wait you're Alice Knight, right?
Alice: Yes! Hoot!
Boy: Hoot!
Ferguson: Hoot!
Owlie: AHHHHHHHHHH!
OWLie begins shrieking flapping her wings. Alice begins shaking the cage to calm her down. It doesn't work.
Alice: Don't be scared. You know me... I am Alice Knight... you are...?
Boy: Alexand-
Alice: PERFECT! We're not strangers anymore. Would a celebrity like me hurt a small child? Nahhh. Never. And it be real easy too. I am strong woman and you are...weak. It be SO easy! Now come have free candy with me and my friend...
Alice points to Ferguson, who is now pant-less as he sits in his boxer shorts.
Alice: DUDE! You're going to scare the kid.
Ferguson: I'm uncomfortable, Alice!
The boy runs away as a police car pulls up behind Alice's car.
Alice: Look! We scared him off! KID! KID! FREE CANDY!!!! Damn...
The police officer steps out of his car and walks to the drivers door.
Officer: Excuse me, Miss. Were you and this pant-less man just trying to coax that young child into your car?
Alice: Yes! We even offered him candy! We may try again later... when it's darker.
ROSWELL POLICE STATION
Interrogation Room.
Officer: So you are the Alice Knight I see on the internet and televison?
Alice: Guilty! Wait... guilty for being Alice. OWL IS NIGHT! HOOT! Not the... not the alleged child kidnapping. That was a misunderstanding. Look officer Bru-owe-in?
Officer: Brown. Officer Brown.
Alice: Right. I am a real busy schedule on the horizon. I just returned to OCW. You know the major wrestling promotion? And if you didn't catch OCW Access Denied on Sunday. Then, well, you're a loser. And you also missed out some excitement.
Officer: Well I don't care who you are. Here in a Roswell, we take possible child abduction very seriously.
Alice: No, I agree. But seriously. How about I pull out some cash from within my lacy bra. And you can take as many one dollar bills as you want. And we'll call it even. I don't need OCW officials knowing about this arrest. Innocent or not, it could hurt some of my reputation. Not really... I've done a lot worse things.
Officer: Like what?
Alice: Well nothing serious. Maybe shoplifting a candy bar here and there. Hell last month I stole a box of 400 pairs of new and semi new pantyhose from a truck. All sizes. Just couldn't figure out the Ebay machine, so if you know anyone interested in buying some. Email me at AliceKnightHoot2018@Angelfire.aol.tripod.com.
Officer: You just made that email up didn't you?
Alice: Look! I am the victim here. Other than an owl or cat dying under my watch and yes, there was a time where I would use a brick to bash in hobos brains just to get an orgas.... I am still innocent ... look. I'm on a natural high right now. I go from returning to OCW at Access Denied, getting thrown through a table by a young punk like Gideon Cross just for grading his match with Bob Grenier. To eventually knocking him out to help Bob win... and now I have to wrestle some dude name Zeus in this city of yours. And... show up in a few weeks in California for the new Pyramid match... am I getting through to you? Do you not see how this hiccup is a real burden on my return? Or do you not care?
Officer looks over her file.
Officer: Look. We won't be keeping you for much longer.
Alice: Good... because I heard there a rumors of Aliens in this city. Sounds far fetch, right? Well go watch AVP: Requiem. That city was attacked by aliens and predators. Not a true story... or... was it? What do you think, Mr. Bra-aw-one.
Officer: It's Brown!!
Alice: No i believe Aliens are green colored. No racist!
Officer: No my name... never mind.
Alice: Ok. How about I get you and your cop buddies some tickets to this week's OCW Massacre return? You will get to see me in the HOOT SPECIAL match when i beat Zeus. Unless that damn Gideon Cross is looking for revenge. I swear to Alien Lord Xenu that if he attempts anything, i will find him. Take a brick and BASH OUT HIS BRAINSSSSS!
Alice begins pounding on the interrogation rooms table. She finally collects herself.
Alice: Ha ha haaaa... I'm cool. I'm cool. So what do you say... Officer Bra-. Um, Officer B? Do we got a deal...
Officer: Just take your owl and creepy friend and get out of here. And yes, I will expect tickets for my fellow officers for OCW Massacre. Now get out of here!!!
Alice gives him a thumbs up in a freeze frame as as text scrolls on the screen.
Avoiding a serious arrest for possible child abduction, Alice Knight will be at OCW Massacre this Monday in the HOOT SPECIAL match when she takes on the one and only Zeus. Will Gideon Cross be looking for revenge? Will she run into any other superstars on the roster? Will she be able to sell all those pantyhose without using the Ebay machine? All this and more on OCW! HOOT!
... but there's more.
Officer Brown watches Alice and a almost naked Ferguson carrying Owlies cage. He grabs a weird looking green phone like object. He begins making noises into the device.
Officer: Click. Click. Click- Blorp. Glerp. Glorp. Blerp. Blorp. Click. Click.
TRANSLATION: WE WILL HAVE ACCESS TO ONE OF THE HUMAN LEADERS ON THIS PLANET! THE ONE THEY CALL OWL IS NIGHT....
Another cop enters the room as Brown hides his phone device.
Officer#2: Hey Brown, you ok, buddy?
Officer Brown: Yes... in time...
-Cue Creepy Alien music as the scene goes to black.
But first, another ALICE KNIGHT ADVENTURE.
We see a small Mexican paper boy shouting on the streets of Roswell, New Mexico.
"Si! Si! Aliens found again in another incident right here in Roswell! Believed to be wearing our police officers skin says the Mayor... Si!
The boy stands there getting no attention from the people as dust and tumble weeds pass by him. He browses through the papers other headlines."
"SI! SI! EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about it! Alice Knight is officially BACK IN OCW! SHE COST GIDEON CROSS HIS MATCH! AND WILL BE IN ROSWELL FOR A HOOT SPECIAL MATCH ON MASSACRE!!! SI! SI!"
A crowd of people rush the boy and within seconds he sells every paper. The boy looks shocked as he counts his change and cash walking down the street. He passes a parked car. We focus on the car. In the driver's seat is none other than OCW Hall of Famer, Alice Knight. Next to her is her long time homeless friend, Ferguson. Who also happens to be shirtless and bearded. In the backseat is Owlie in a cage. Who is flipping out as she bites on her cage. Alice, looking over a map, a folded 'paper map', nothing digital. Both are chewing on gummy worms.
Alice: Hmmm. Even though these gummy worms are delicious... we're lost, Fergie. And close your armpits. It reeks in here like gross man sweat.
Ferguson: I think you smell...
Alice: Yeah, like a sweet flower.
Ferguson(under his breath): ... dipped in stinky mustard.
Alice punches him in the shoulder.
Alice: What was that?
Ferguson rubs his shoulder pointing at the boy walking.
Ferguson: Just ask that midget for directions, gawd damn it
Alice: Hey, midget! I mean, dwarf! NO! Little person! Pony man???
Boy: Huh? What? Me? I am a 12 year old boy...
Alice: Yeah? Good. Dwarfs scare the crap out of me. So... regular sized boy then! Can you help me out for a second?
Boy: Um, sure? What can I help you with ma'am?
Alice: I need directions. I can't seem to find where OCW Massacre is taking place. Is there a nearby arena that holds wrestling and sports events around here?
Boy: Si! It's just two blocks away and...
Alice looks confused and sighs. She interrupts the boy.
Alice: Look, I am not good at directions. Why don't you hop in the car with my pet caged owl and my shirtless homeless friend. You can sit on his lap. Plus we have all kinds of candy too. Hop in..
Ferguson, holding a bag of gummies as he waves at the kid.
Boy: I really shouldn't talk to strangers. Or get into cars with them. Why don't you just write down the directions... wait you're Alice Knight, right?
Alice: Yes! Hoot!
Boy: Hoot!
Ferguson: Hoot!
Owlie: AHHHHHHHHHH!
OWLie begins shrieking flapping her wings. Alice begins shaking the cage to calm her down. It doesn't work.
Alice: Don't be scared. You know me... I am Alice Knight... you are...?
Boy: Alexand-
Alice: PERFECT! We're not strangers anymore. Would a celebrity like me hurt a small child? Nahhh. Never. And it be real easy too. I am strong woman and you are...weak. It be SO easy! Now come have free candy with me and my friend...
Alice points to Ferguson, who is now pant-less as he sits in his boxer shorts.
Alice: DUDE! You're going to scare the kid.
Ferguson: I'm uncomfortable, Alice!
The boy runs away as a police car pulls up behind Alice's car.
Alice: Look! We scared him off! KID! KID! FREE CANDY!!!! Damn...
The police officer steps out of his car and walks to the drivers door.
Officer: Excuse me, Miss. Were you and this pant-less man just trying to coax that young child into your car?
Alice: Yes! We even offered him candy! We may try again later... when it's darker.
ROSWELL POLICE STATION
Interrogation Room.
Officer: So you are the Alice Knight I see on the internet and televison?
Alice: Guilty! Wait... guilty for being Alice. OWL IS NIGHT! HOOT! Not the... not the alleged child kidnapping. That was a misunderstanding. Look officer Bru-owe-in?
Officer: Brown. Officer Brown.
Alice: Right. I am a real busy schedule on the horizon. I just returned to OCW. You know the major wrestling promotion? And if you didn't catch OCW Access Denied on Sunday. Then, well, you're a loser. And you also missed out some excitement.
Officer: Well I don't care who you are. Here in a Roswell, we take possible child abduction very seriously.
Alice: No, I agree. But seriously. How about I pull out some cash from within my lacy bra. And you can take as many one dollar bills as you want. And we'll call it even. I don't need OCW officials knowing about this arrest. Innocent or not, it could hurt some of my reputation. Not really... I've done a lot worse things.
Officer: Like what?
Alice: Well nothing serious. Maybe shoplifting a candy bar here and there. Hell last month I stole a box of 400 pairs of new and semi new pantyhose from a truck. All sizes. Just couldn't figure out the Ebay machine, so if you know anyone interested in buying some. Email me at AliceKnightHoot2018@Angelfire.aol.tripod.com.
Officer: You just made that email up didn't you?
Alice: Look! I am the victim here. Other than an owl or cat dying under my watch and yes, there was a time where I would use a brick to bash in hobos brains just to get an orgas.... I am still innocent ... look. I'm on a natural high right now. I go from returning to OCW at Access Denied, getting thrown through a table by a young punk like Gideon Cross just for grading his match with Bob Grenier. To eventually knocking him out to help Bob win... and now I have to wrestle some dude name Zeus in this city of yours. And... show up in a few weeks in California for the new Pyramid match... am I getting through to you? Do you not see how this hiccup is a real burden on my return? Or do you not care?
Officer looks over her file.
Officer: Look. We won't be keeping you for much longer.
Alice: Good... because I heard there a rumors of Aliens in this city. Sounds far fetch, right? Well go watch AVP: Requiem. That city was attacked by aliens and predators. Not a true story... or... was it? What do you think, Mr. Bra-aw-one.
Officer: It's Brown!!
Alice: No i believe Aliens are green colored. No racist!
Officer: No my name... never mind.
Alice: Ok. How about I get you and your cop buddies some tickets to this week's OCW Massacre return? You will get to see me in the HOOT SPECIAL match when i beat Zeus. Unless that damn Gideon Cross is looking for revenge. I swear to Alien Lord Xenu that if he attempts anything, i will find him. Take a brick and BASH OUT HIS BRAINSSSSS!
Alice begins pounding on the interrogation rooms table. She finally collects herself.
Alice: Ha ha haaaa... I'm cool. I'm cool. So what do you say... Officer Bra-. Um, Officer B? Do we got a deal...
Officer: Just take your owl and creepy friend and get out of here. And yes, I will expect tickets for my fellow officers for OCW Massacre. Now get out of here!!!
Alice gives him a thumbs up in a freeze frame as as text scrolls on the screen.
Avoiding a serious arrest for possible child abduction, Alice Knight will be at OCW Massacre this Monday in the HOOT SPECIAL match when she takes on the one and only Zeus. Will Gideon Cross be looking for revenge? Will she run into any other superstars on the roster? Will she be able to sell all those pantyhose without using the Ebay machine? All this and more on OCW! HOOT!
... but there's more.
Officer Brown watches Alice and a almost naked Ferguson carrying Owlies cage. He grabs a weird looking green phone like object. He begins making noises into the device.
Officer: Click. Click. Click- Blorp. Glerp. Glorp. Blerp. Blorp. Click. Click.
TRANSLATION: WE WILL HAVE ACCESS TO ONE OF THE HUMAN LEADERS ON THIS PLANET! THE ONE THEY CALL OWL IS NIGHT....
Another cop enters the room as Brown hides his phone device.
Officer#2: Hey Brown, you ok, buddy?
Officer Brown: Yes... in time...
-Cue Creepy Alien music as the scene goes to black.