Post by Graham Clauson on Oct 10, 2021 21:28:12 GMT -5
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As the video begins to play, it fades into a distant shot of a medical facility, before cutting to the entrance doors. Exiting is Graham Clauson, slightly walking ahead of his husband Ken Felder. Graham, with the hood from his sweatshirt up, looks around almost as if he desires to avoid being detected in the open. Walking at a faster pace than usual, Ken manages to keep up, both of them shortly reaching their vehicle. Before Graham can open the passenger’s side door, Ken approaches him and puts his hand on Graham’s arm. Graham simply looks down at the handle of the door, not diverting his gaze.
[ Ken ]: Look… This is going to be uncomfortable no matter what, and I don’t want that either. I know you just got out, and I know you’re expecting me to let you have it…
Graham rolls his eyes. He takes a deep breath, huffing audibly and muttering his response back.
[ Graham ]: Yep…
[ Ken ]: If I were anyone else, you’d pretty much be correct. I’m going to try to be calm, because I’m sure you know I’m hurting from this little “stunt” you pulled, too.
[ “Lil’ Man” ]: UNCLE ASS-WHOLE!
A thud against the glass of the backseat passenger’s window is Ross’s son, his butt cheeks pressed up against. He is limber enough to lean around and wave at Graham, smiling widely. Graham simply sighs once again, appearing unsure how to reply.
[ Ken ]: Graham... he knew I was coming to get you and insisted he come along. You know he thinks the world of you, and I’m not going to tell him no.
Graham simply mutters under his breath.
[ Graham ]: God dammit…
Graham becomes agitated, his eyes clearly showing fear as he appears to plead.
[ Graham ]: Seriously, we’re going to do this in front of the kid?!
[ Ken ]: I’m not going to scream at you in front of him, no… Yelling at you isn’t going to solve anything. Look, I need to say something to you before we get in the car, and I think you need to hear it…and I mean really open your ears and listen to me because I only want to say this only one time if I can avoid more. Okay?
Graham does not release his grip from the door handle, nor does he look towards Ken or the kid. His lip quivers, trying to fight back tears at this point.
[ Ken ]: Graham, look at me.
Graham’s eyes well up slightly, Ken clearly tightening his grip on Graham’s arm slightly.
[ Ken ]: Yes, it hurts me to the core that you thought this was the best choice to make… I don’t know how else to say that part...
At this point, Graham can’t help but lose his composure, but only slightly, as he begins to lean into the door while clenching his eyes shut. Ken reaches upward, using his hand to prevent Graham from looking away.
[ Ken ]: I know you don’t like to talk about things, and I know I pry. A lot. But you’ve never been a burden, at least not for me. Are you a mess? Please, you ended up here...
At this point, Graham can’t help but chuckle slightly at this, sniffling through it.
[ Ken ]: But now I’m going to have to use a crowbar because of it. It’s not me trying to turn you into some Stepford Husband, but making sure you don’t try this again. So, yes, this car ride is going to be tough for both of us. I’m going to do what I can to understand it, but you’re going to have to actually talk to me. Got it?
Graham, now a bit more composed, sniffles once again and nods.
[ Ken ]: You can be an asshole, but you’re my asshole. Make sure to remember that.
Graham smiles slightly at this, Ken releasing his grip from Graham and making his way towards the driver’s side door. The vantage point shifts to inside the car, Graham opening the door. The child has since pulled his pants back up and sat back down in his seat, buckling himself back up into his carseat.
[ “Lil’ Man” ]: HI, UNCLE ASS-WHOLE!
[ Graham ]: Child, as much as I’m glad to see you and love you, you should quiet-up. The adults are likely going to be having a serious conversation, and you should probably have your face buried in the Switch.
Almost obediently, the child pulls out his Nintendo Switch from beside the carseat and turns it on as Graham closes his door. Ken, finally stepping into the driver’s seat, closes his door and looks back at the child. The child, not looking up at all from the screen, does not see Ken smile for a short moment before returning his attention to starting the vehicle. The uncomfortable silence between the three is broken up by the opening menu music for Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
[ “Lil’ Man” ]: NO LOLLY-GAGGIN’!
[ Graham ]: Ignoring the fact that the kid is playing a game that has more porn mods than an Onion browser, can I ask what else you want me to say about what happened? You know I have occasional depressive swings when things aren’t going well…
Ken, who was about to put the vehicle into motion, stops as his hand reaches the transmission lever. He closes his eyes, his face becomes red as he tries hard not to get angry. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, before looking at Graham and responding as level-headed as possible.
[ Ken ]: I’m trying here...but you understand that just because you have moments means that it covers the fact that you decided that killing yourself was a better option than talking to me about it?!
At this point, the child looks up from the screen, appearing to be confused at the conversation taking place. However, things begin to escalate quickly as Graham’s voice raises.
[ Graham ]: Oh, so now my feelings matter.
[ Ken ]: Now that’s some Grade-A certified BULLSHIT, Graham!
Almost on cue, we hear a dragon’s roar come from the Switch. The child looks down at the unit, exclaiming.
[ “Lil’ Man” ]: SHIT!
Even with this taboo outburst for a three year-old about to turn the corner to four, the escalating argument continues between the married couple.
[ Graham ]: Can you blame me? Since I got the bright idea to come back to fucking wrestling, I've been fucked more times than you have in the bedroom. I have been ass-raped in a wrestling ring more times than Kandi Washington was willing!
[ “Lil’ Man” ]: SHE SUCK-A THE COCK-A SHE GET-A THE SPOT!
This next outburst comes out without the child looking up from the Switch, bringing Graham and Ken’s conversation to a complete stop.
[ Ken ]: ...where did he learn that?!
[ Graham ]: Don’t look at me, you know I leave the child-entertaining to you…
Several seconds of awkward silence follow, broken only by the sound of a shield bash followed by a sword strike and the level-up jingle. At this point, Ken shakes his head and raises both of his hands up for a moment, appearing to lose his ability to keep things less-heated.
[ Ken ]: Okay, you know what? Yeah, it would’ve been my job permanently if what you did had worked out the way you wanted… Leave me a broken mess on the floor… Do you have any idea how it felt for me when I came out to check on you because you hadn’t come to bed and you were half-dead on our living room floor?!
[ Graham ]: There it is! Right on time! I knew the moment I walked out of that damn place, this was coming! I expected to get some shit while in the car, but I didn’t think you’d go that far instead of keeping this between us... Fine, then! Do you have divorce papers waiting to sign when I get home, or do you actually want to try to understand why the fuck I thought that leaving you a widower was the best option?!
The car falls silent, minus the ambient sound of Skyrim’s soundtrack. Todd Howard is very happy right now. However, Graham is not, now unable to hold back his emotions and is now in tears.
[ Graham ]: I know what I did hurt you probably deeper than anything, but remember that I’m hurting too! God dammit!
Graham appears to try to open the car door, but the car has already started and the doors auto-lock. After one attempt, Graham stops. He slams his fist against the inside of the door, causing Ken and the child to jolt in their seats for a split moment.
[ “Lil’ Man” ]: Hey, I’m trying to aim ASS-WHOLE!
[ Graham ]: This whole situation isn’t just about your feelings, Ken! How would you feel if I was the one making half a million in a year just for making a handful of guys pass out with their head in your fucking crotch, and you were making nothing because no one wanted to take a chance on you, huh?
Ken appears taken off guard by this, his eyes widened and his mouth left slightly agape.
[ Ken ]: Wait...do you actually think I’m trying to make people suck me off in the middle of the cage or something? If you were anyone else, I’d be offended as hell right now.
[ “Lil’ Man” ]: ...he suck-a the cock-a...he get-a the spot…?
This kid is making more comments about genetalia than most gay men at this point, but the couple continues to argue without admonishing the child’s language choice.
[ Ken ]: We were fighting in Dubai. They could have fucking murdered me for that shit! It’s a legit chokehold, and you know it! What-
At this point, Graham’s demeanor changes. Through tears, he almost growls his next sentence.
[ Graham ]: Uh-uh, Ken... I’m not done. How would you feel if you have your best friend turning into a damn cripple in front of your eyes and you can’t do a fucking thing to stop it? How would you feel if your father wants to do nothing but live vicariously through you because I should be surpassing what he was able to accomplish? How would you feel if every day you wanted to call your mother and couldn’t because she was killed by some selfish prick?
Ken wants to jump in and interrupt, but Graham continues.
[ Graham ]: And look at me… LOOK AT ME… I’m pathetic!
Graham slumps somewhat into his seat, covering his face for a moment as he tries not to audibly sob. He brings his hands from his face, staring forward.
[ Graham ]: Sitting here, in the passenger’s seat, coming home after I tried to kill myself because I can’t even put food on the table…
Ken stays silent, Graham looking at him. There is a clear moment of where Ken is trying not to tear up himself at this point.
[ Graham ]: I’m socially awkward, I have maybe enough true friends to count on one hand, and I can’t hold a job because I won’t just let the authority stomp all over me. Let alone my Godson is floating his drug-whore of a stepmother’s cash at us because he probably knows I feel like a useless chump.
Graham chuckles slightly, sniffling as he deprecates himself further.
[ Graham ]: Next thing you know, you’ll be having an affair with Ross because at least he could keep his part of a marriage up… And I claim to be an adult...
Ken raises his hand up, finally hearing enough.
[ Ken ]: Graham… Stop it. You’re being ridiculous a bit there… I’m not going to go fuck Ross, wherever the hell that came from.
[ “Lil’ Man” ]: Wait...who’s the boss?
[ Ken ]: First of all… I may not understand half of what you are feeling, but I don’t give a shit what you think you’ve got in front of you. If you think you’re going to possibly do that to yourself again, you come to me and you tell me… Okay?! I can’t lose you! Not now…
Ken chokes up, reaching both of his hands over to Graham and pulling him up out of his slump and towards him. Graham, relenting, allows this as Ken grabs him by the sides of his face and pulls him to where they are touching foreheads.
[ Ken ]: You don’t leave me in the dark like that, ever again. In sickness and in health, you said it too! Remember?
Graham nods, almost grunts as he tries not to ugly-cry in front of the child. He nods his head slightly.
[ Ken ]: The next time you pull a stunt like this and Ross makes his girlfriend take Lil Man out to piss in our front bushes so he doesn't see me on the floor in a fetal position, I am going to find you in Hell, bring you back, and then kill you again myself. Got it?
Graham nods once more before Ken pulls him towards him and embraces him. This happens for about ten seconds, the child continuing to be occupied with killing things in a virtual world. Ken releases his hold on Graham, moving his hands to his shoulders.
[ Ken ]: When that is all said and done, then you can claim that I choked someone out with my crotch - are we clear?
After this statement, Graham looks at Ken confused.
[ Graham ]: ...wait...what?
[ Ken ]: Yeah, I will fucking make you suffocate with my crotch.
Graham, regaining his composure a bit more, wipes a stream of tears from his face.
[ Graham ]: No, no, no… Before that…
[ Ken ]: Lil Man pissed in our bushes?
[ Graham ]: Nope, before that.
[ Ken ]: Okay, serious subject matters aside, we’re no-selling piss… Ross’s girlfriend had to make sure he didn’t come in to see me reacting to your little note you left everyone.
Graham leans back in the seat once more, clutching his chest like he’s about to have a heart attack.
[ Graham ]: GIRLFRIEND? ROSS REALLY DOESN’T GO GAY FOR PAY?!
[ Ken ]: ...is it wrong for me to say that I was a little surprised, too?
[ Graham ]: ...he could’ve gotten a couple hundred off the corner.
[ “Lil’ Man” ]: He suck-a the…
At this point, both Graham and Ken turn back to the child.
[ Graham / Ken ]: Enough!
The child, shocked by this, jolts somewhat and almost drops the Switch out of his hands. Looking both at Graham, and then Ken, he looks back down at the machine.
[ “Lil’ Man” ]: Sowwy...
[ Graham ]: Wait...you seriously thought Ross was gay?
Ken, reaching towards the transmission lever, shifts the car into reverse and begins pulling out of the parking spot.
[ Ken ]: The dude is running around with a styled mullet and has enough muscle on him to attract porn stars at this rate. Anyone would love to grab that shit and get him from behind.
While finishing his last sentence, Ken shifts the car into drive and begins driving out of the hospital lot. After a short bit of silence, Graham sparks conversation back up.
[ Graham ]: I can’t believe we have gone from arguing about me trying to kill myself to Ross getting gang-banged in your little head-canon fantasy you got going on over there...
Ken smiles at this, shaking his head.
[ Ken ]: The best part? His chick would probably be in on it too. She's wild, man...
[ Graham ]: So...was she before I tried to kick it, or after?
Ken winces slightly, taking one hand off the wheel and shaking it as if to say “Ehhh...middle road?”.
[ Ken ]: More like during…?
Ken places the hand he pulled off the wheel back on. Graham appears confused, looking like the infamous math calculation GIFs.
[ Graham ]: So, I try to kill myself and Ross gets a girl? What in the literal fuck?!
[ Ken ]: Just don’t make another attempt… You don’t have to kill yourself for him to get married.
Graham looks at Ken, appearing to be offended by this statement, quickly realizes that Ken is only trying to make light of the coincidence and huffs.
[ Graham ]: Hey, if he wants to attach himself to a slimy, pink venus fly trap, that’s his choice...
[ Ken ]: Well...that slimy pink Venus fly trap dropped everything to be with him as soon as he found out you were in the hospital, let alone me, your Dad, your Uncle dragged Lil Man’s grandpa up here...so, Chels can't be that bad.
Graham, hearing the list of people being rattled off, slumps into his seat even further. He appears to tear up again. Anyone with a bit of empathy within them can tell Graham feels like the biggest piece of shit on Earth right now.
[ Graham ]: Are you now intentionally trying to make me feel bad now?
[ Ken ]: No, I’m not… Just explaining. Apparently, his new employer paid for it and she got flown here on a private military jet. We're talking Chicago to Columbus in half an hour.
[ Graham ]: Who the fuck does he work for now? The CIA?
[ Ken ]: Thaddeus Duke got him a contract with OCW. I think you called it Key West a few times?
[ Graham ]: Key West, aka Gay Mecca... Wait....Sebastian Duke's son?!
[ Ken ]: You know him?
[ Graham ]: ...I hate to be horrid, but can we not discuss them? At this point, I’m just glad you don’t hate me.
[ Ken ]: I don’t hate you… I’m slightly disappointed, still a little hurt, but I can’t hate you.
[ “Lil’ Man” ]: Kiss and make-up already!
Both Graham and Ken laugh. Ken reached over towards Graham, grabbing his hand and holding it as the drive continued. Moments later, Ken releases his grip on Graham’s hand.
[ Ken ]: Oh, shit, I need to call Ross too and make sure they're not fucking in the living room again…
[ Graham ]: Ah, yes. This is definitely looking like his neighborhood. I think I just watched somebody rob the Girl Scouts selling cookies off-season outside of a Boost Mobile store.
Ken rolls his eyes briefly, trying to keep focus on the road.
[ Graham ]: Great way to rep the 6-1-4, folks…
[ Ken ]: Those weren’t Girl Scout cookies, those were the Family Dollar knock-offs.
[ Graham ]: After your second joint, they taste the same…
Ken can’t help but chuckle at this.
[ Ken ]: We know I’m the sweet connoisseur. They are not the same.
[ Graham ]: Tell it to my waistline...
[ Ken ]: Okay, now shut up, I kept your release from the hospital quiet and I want to see Ross shit himself when we arrive.
As this is said, the camera cuts to a static-camera shot of traffic on I-270 driving before fading out to black.