Post by ROUND II | Ross Hanson on Sept 8, 2021 16:59:24 GMT -5
I'm Ross Hanson, and I'm enhancement talent.
I exist only to make those around me look better. This is a role I have come to accept in life. Sometimes I even manage to lie to myself about why I do it and hell, once in a while I even believe the lie. “I'm doing something good”, I tell myself. “I'm being loyal, I'm being honest, I'm standing for what is right, and in the end this is what I'm supposed to be doing.”
So while I'm sacrificing my morals of never attacking someone from behind, or interfering with a match, I'm trying to tell myself under my breath that it's the right thing to do. “Ian Dream is my bro. Crash Rodriguez is not. And he was more than willing to have his backup do the exact same thing.”
While I'm trying to convince myself not to say anything to Thad about the shit he's pulling with XWF, I'm justifying it by saying that “since he got me back into OC, I owe him more than I owe any of you.”
After all...Betsy Granger might be pissed off at me for siding with Thad, but she didn't get me back into OCW. Thad and Ian did.
James Raven didn't call me up and check on me after my friend went in the hospital two weeks ago, or have my girlfriend flown out to be with me. Thad and Ian did.
Matt Meyhu hasn't been trying to reassure me that I'm going to be all right and that after I knock a few heads, people will come around and start to like me. Thad and Ian have.
For all I know, Thad paid Chelsea off to date me instead of the joke that she rented me out. I mean, he certainly did a good job talking me into shooting what pathetic little shot I had. But Jason Cashe and Lexi Gold didn’t put me up to trying to turn a sarcastic joke into an actual relationship. Thad did. Him and Ian, of course.
And none of you have helped me do a God damn thing with being a single parent of a four year old son, while I'm Googling how to break it to him that his mother died when he was too young to know what his own poop was and that's why he lives with a bigger version of himself. Like, we even eat the exact same cereal and everything. You didn't help me figure out any of what it means to be a parent and a wrestler at the same time.
Thad and Ian have.
Thaddeus Duke, thank you. Ian Dream, thank you. You are my bros. Up until now I've not really done a whole lot to show you that recruiting me was a good decision. That's about to change here in a few days.
On second thought, maybe I don't have to lie to myself after all. Maybe I've got the right idea doing right by those who do right by me.
Maybe I should take it personal how things went two years ago, instead of trying to learn from it. I mean, sure trying to be a bigger person and admit your mistakes might make you a better wrestler in the long run...but shoot drama sells tickets, am I right Mr. Welsh?
I mean, let's be honest. Did any of us really think I was just going to walk back in here and get cheered by this crowd? Look at what happened when I came to pwEXCELLENCE, a brand new company that nobody had any history with. The crowd in Vegas booed me out of the building and I was only out there for 45 seconds. The cat got more airtime than I did. I feel like I could have just jumped over the top rope and had a better showing in that battle royal, because with my luck my feet would have gotten caught and it wouldn’t have counted as an elimination.
Like I said, enhancement talent. I make everyone else I'm around look better by comparison. The only thing I've won since I came back was number six or seven on a best hair list.
You think people are going to take me seriously? You think I'm gonna be able to enhance Jack Puffer's talent on Massacre this Monday? I had Ian take his cock out on live television and that didn't even get people to care. But let some fucking XWF suit show up and fart in the middle of the ring, and all of a sudden y'all line up to be the first to sniff it like you're gonna get high off the methane.
Yeah I know it's the owner. I don't care. I don't work for him.
Hate me, love me, ignore me, it’s whatever. You want to know where I stand, it's with OCW. Because I DON'T blame this company for the past. I DON'T blame them for my own faults. I DON’T hold them responsible for where I'm at. If anything, OCW gave me my first real break in the US. If it weren't for OCW I'd still be in Japan doing death match wrestling as a drunken priest.
You see, you guys weren't the only ones who had other people in your head trying to go into business for themselves. I was also being manipulated to be somebody I'm not. And just like you had to temporarily close up shop and leave us behind for a while...I too had to leave this business, without even so much as a single win in one on one competition.
Sure I tore apart GCC and eventually won a world championship in the Heavyweight division. I was an MMA powerhouse in 2020. But that means nothing in pro wrestling. In pro wrestling?
I'm just enhancement talent.
I'm enhancement talent, but I'm also loyal. And Thad, you always tell me to be my own man. My loyalty is with the company that took me back in, when it seemed like nobody else would. Even if their fans boo me and will continue to boo me until I have given them a reason not to, I stand with them. XWF seems like an awesome place. It could give me everything I ever wanted….only it can't.
Theo can never give me what OCW gave me, and that's a second chance.
I'm not messing that up. That means I don't want you or Ian interfering in my matches. I would rather lose clean than win dirty. If I'm going to get my ass kicked, then that's what's going to happen. I mean, feel free to stop someone from running on and jumping me two or three on one, but other than that I need to do this on my own.
I need to prove to this company and to everyone watching that I'm not just a comedy act. I'm not just seasoning on someone else's dish. I'm not the kind of man who takes the cheap way out, and I'm definitely not here to wage war on the company I've wanted to come back to since the day I left it.
I want to earn people's respect. I can't do that jumping people from behind after a match. I'm sorry. I can be your enforcer, but still do things my way. And what I did at Under The Lights? That’s not the way I do things.
I have this funny feeling you will understand. I honestly think you wanted me to do this, Thad. You wanted me to make this decision, on my own without your influence. You wanted me to realize who I am and what I stand for. You want me to stand up and choose my own path.
This is the path I choose. The path that's right. The path that might get me abandoned by everyone I know or love, but I can fall asleep at night without wondering if I did the right thing.
I choose my friendship with the Golden Age, I choose my fealty to OCW, I choose to hold fast to my values of being fair and respectful, and I choose to no longer allow the three to interfere with one another.
I choose to no longer just be known as one half of #SkyesonFTW, or the guy who got Thad's car impounded after Piledriver went off the air. I choose to not be known as the guy who cheats or helps his friends cheat to win. I choose to not be an afterthought when I should be a threat.
This Monday, on Massacre's return to the airwaves...and my return to Massacre...I choose to stretch Jack Puffer like a raw pizza crust. When I throw him into the corner and jump on him, the middle turnbuckle will go so far into his ass that if you plugged the ringpost into an Atari 2600, you could play Asteroids by moving his head around. Slamming him onto the mat is going to sound like Derrick Henry spiking a watermelon onto a frozen trampoline. If I get him into an armbar, I'm taking the arm back with me and donating it to a charity for dismembered war victims. I really really want...need is a strong word...to win this match.
I'm Ross Hanson, and I'm enhancement talent.
But only for another five days.
After that, I'm just me.
I exist only to make those around me look better. This is a role I have come to accept in life. Sometimes I even manage to lie to myself about why I do it and hell, once in a while I even believe the lie. “I'm doing something good”, I tell myself. “I'm being loyal, I'm being honest, I'm standing for what is right, and in the end this is what I'm supposed to be doing.”
So while I'm sacrificing my morals of never attacking someone from behind, or interfering with a match, I'm trying to tell myself under my breath that it's the right thing to do. “Ian Dream is my bro. Crash Rodriguez is not. And he was more than willing to have his backup do the exact same thing.”
While I'm trying to convince myself not to say anything to Thad about the shit he's pulling with XWF, I'm justifying it by saying that “since he got me back into OC, I owe him more than I owe any of you.”
After all...Betsy Granger might be pissed off at me for siding with Thad, but she didn't get me back into OCW. Thad and Ian did.
James Raven didn't call me up and check on me after my friend went in the hospital two weeks ago, or have my girlfriend flown out to be with me. Thad and Ian did.
Matt Meyhu hasn't been trying to reassure me that I'm going to be all right and that after I knock a few heads, people will come around and start to like me. Thad and Ian have.
For all I know, Thad paid Chelsea off to date me instead of the joke that she rented me out. I mean, he certainly did a good job talking me into shooting what pathetic little shot I had. But Jason Cashe and Lexi Gold didn’t put me up to trying to turn a sarcastic joke into an actual relationship. Thad did. Him and Ian, of course.
And none of you have helped me do a God damn thing with being a single parent of a four year old son, while I'm Googling how to break it to him that his mother died when he was too young to know what his own poop was and that's why he lives with a bigger version of himself. Like, we even eat the exact same cereal and everything. You didn't help me figure out any of what it means to be a parent and a wrestler at the same time.
Thad and Ian have.
Thaddeus Duke, thank you. Ian Dream, thank you. You are my bros. Up until now I've not really done a whole lot to show you that recruiting me was a good decision. That's about to change here in a few days.
On second thought, maybe I don't have to lie to myself after all. Maybe I've got the right idea doing right by those who do right by me.
Maybe I should take it personal how things went two years ago, instead of trying to learn from it. I mean, sure trying to be a bigger person and admit your mistakes might make you a better wrestler in the long run...but shoot drama sells tickets, am I right Mr. Welsh?
I mean, let's be honest. Did any of us really think I was just going to walk back in here and get cheered by this crowd? Look at what happened when I came to pwEXCELLENCE, a brand new company that nobody had any history with. The crowd in Vegas booed me out of the building and I was only out there for 45 seconds. The cat got more airtime than I did. I feel like I could have just jumped over the top rope and had a better showing in that battle royal, because with my luck my feet would have gotten caught and it wouldn’t have counted as an elimination.
Like I said, enhancement talent. I make everyone else I'm around look better by comparison. The only thing I've won since I came back was number six or seven on a best hair list.
You think people are going to take me seriously? You think I'm gonna be able to enhance Jack Puffer's talent on Massacre this Monday? I had Ian take his cock out on live television and that didn't even get people to care. But let some fucking XWF suit show up and fart in the middle of the ring, and all of a sudden y'all line up to be the first to sniff it like you're gonna get high off the methane.
Yeah I know it's the owner. I don't care. I don't work for him.
Hate me, love me, ignore me, it’s whatever. You want to know where I stand, it's with OCW. Because I DON'T blame this company for the past. I DON'T blame them for my own faults. I DON’T hold them responsible for where I'm at. If anything, OCW gave me my first real break in the US. If it weren't for OCW I'd still be in Japan doing death match wrestling as a drunken priest.
You see, you guys weren't the only ones who had other people in your head trying to go into business for themselves. I was also being manipulated to be somebody I'm not. And just like you had to temporarily close up shop and leave us behind for a while...I too had to leave this business, without even so much as a single win in one on one competition.
Sure I tore apart GCC and eventually won a world championship in the Heavyweight division. I was an MMA powerhouse in 2020. But that means nothing in pro wrestling. In pro wrestling?
I'm just enhancement talent.
I'm enhancement talent, but I'm also loyal. And Thad, you always tell me to be my own man. My loyalty is with the company that took me back in, when it seemed like nobody else would. Even if their fans boo me and will continue to boo me until I have given them a reason not to, I stand with them. XWF seems like an awesome place. It could give me everything I ever wanted….only it can't.
Theo can never give me what OCW gave me, and that's a second chance.
I'm not messing that up. That means I don't want you or Ian interfering in my matches. I would rather lose clean than win dirty. If I'm going to get my ass kicked, then that's what's going to happen. I mean, feel free to stop someone from running on and jumping me two or three on one, but other than that I need to do this on my own.
I need to prove to this company and to everyone watching that I'm not just a comedy act. I'm not just seasoning on someone else's dish. I'm not the kind of man who takes the cheap way out, and I'm definitely not here to wage war on the company I've wanted to come back to since the day I left it.
I want to earn people's respect. I can't do that jumping people from behind after a match. I'm sorry. I can be your enforcer, but still do things my way. And what I did at Under The Lights? That’s not the way I do things.
I have this funny feeling you will understand. I honestly think you wanted me to do this, Thad. You wanted me to make this decision, on my own without your influence. You wanted me to realize who I am and what I stand for. You want me to stand up and choose my own path.
This is the path I choose. The path that's right. The path that might get me abandoned by everyone I know or love, but I can fall asleep at night without wondering if I did the right thing.
I choose my friendship with the Golden Age, I choose my fealty to OCW, I choose to hold fast to my values of being fair and respectful, and I choose to no longer allow the three to interfere with one another.
I choose to no longer just be known as one half of #SkyesonFTW, or the guy who got Thad's car impounded after Piledriver went off the air. I choose to not be known as the guy who cheats or helps his friends cheat to win. I choose to not be an afterthought when I should be a threat.
This Monday, on Massacre's return to the airwaves...and my return to Massacre...I choose to stretch Jack Puffer like a raw pizza crust. When I throw him into the corner and jump on him, the middle turnbuckle will go so far into his ass that if you plugged the ringpost into an Atari 2600, you could play Asteroids by moving his head around. Slamming him onto the mat is going to sound like Derrick Henry spiking a watermelon onto a frozen trampoline. If I get him into an armbar, I'm taking the arm back with me and donating it to a charity for dismembered war victims. I really really want...need is a strong word...to win this match.
I'm Ross Hanson, and I'm enhancement talent.
But only for another five days.
After that, I'm just me.
