Post by Brianna Casablancas on Mar 29, 2014 21:16:08 GMT -5
[Our scene begins backstage at Massacre, as Brianna has her Central title slung over her shoulder. Next to her is Leo The High School interim with a microphone ready to ask the hard hitting questions.]
Leo the High School intern: Brianna next week you have a title defense against Roach. What are your thoughts and opinions on the title defense?
Brianna Casablancas: Leo, I am going to kick his ass in the ring and then I am going to have sex with my ho-wife because she is on the HO TRAIIINNNN! Then I am going to smoke some weed, drink some beers, and hit him on the head with a hammer or maybe some light tubes and if he doesn't like that he can kindly suckle on my genitals!
[The fans cheer over Brianna's In Your Face attitude as she is wearing a backwards baseball cap, a pair of sunglasses, a flannel shirt and baggy pants. She grabs the mic from Leo and then drops it. He picks it up before kicking him in the gut and then she beats up a camera man while he recovers. Leo then gets right back up and asks her a question.]
Leo The High School Intern: But what do you say to those that say you are not extreme enough for OCW?
Brianna Casablancas: I'll tell you what I have to say to that, SON! I am the most extreme motherfucker on the planet as you can tell from me beating up you and the cameraman. I also just got done having unprotected sex with an underaged catholic school girl. Is that extreme enough for you? Well how about this ...last week I competed in a barbed wire ladder in a flaming cage match with fifty other men and I was the only one who walked out alive.
[She pauses for a moment before pulling out what looks to be a new fangled boom box ...but it was more than a boom box. It was something important. It was something that would get ad revenue.]
Brianna Casablancas: I am so extreme that I listen to Korn with a backwards R on my new JVC Ka-boom Box. I am so extreme that I am the one that caused the recall election but punking out that environmental ---got Al Gore. Fuck him and his inconvenient truth! I am so extreme that I hang out with OJ Simpson AND Saddam Hussein. I am so damn fucking shit cock vagina that the guys who shot up Columbine called me from hell just to give me big ups on how awesome I am.
[She then chugs a beer before taking a drag of her cigarette because she is on the cutting edge of attitude. She gets cheered as she does. She also got cheered when she used the word ---got.]
Brianna Casablancas: But let me tell you something slapnuts. When Roach gets out there in the ring for my ...um ...
[She looks at her title to remember what title she carries because after all it doesn't matter what a title stands but the fact that it is a title ...and it is HER title.]
Brianna Casablancas: Center Title, he is going to have to nut up or shut up. If he isn't careful I am going to drop a cow on his ass like earthworm jim and shit, yo.
[Suddenly, she hears her phone ringing and pulls out a HUGE big ass cell phone. She looks excited to hear from whoever is on the other end.]
Brianna Casablancas: Yo, Alice. What up home girl? You calling to tell me stories about how we raped all of them bitches with god damn fucking broomsticks.
Alice Knight: No, I am just calling to say something completely out of character and unlike me ...so I am going to go to my two story home and eat food that I bought at the grocery store before doing my taxes.
Brianna Casablancas: NO DOUBT! NO DOUBT! You take it easy bitch. And don't worry about losing nine times in a row to the same person ...they just got lucky and has nothing to do with your lack of talent.
[She then hangs up the phone before slamming it over Leo's head and then spitting on him. Again, the fans go wild for this risque anti-hero like no person they have ever seen before.]
Brianna Casablancas: So Roach, if you want some ...cum and just bring it! IF YOU SMELL WHAT MY BOTTOM LINE IS YOU ROODY POO SLAPPY JABRONI BECAUSE BRIANNA 4: 20 SAYS YOU CAN DO TWO THINGS: NOTHING AND LIKE IT ...before YOU SUCK IT!
[She stops as the fans go massively crazy for her as her corporate bosses look on from the sidelines and she flips them the bird. The minute they show the unnamed unrecognizable bigwigs in suits the crowd starts chanting "ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!"]
Brianna Casablancas: Now come on ladies ...LETS BOUNCE ...JIGGY STYLE!
[Brianna walks off camera as a bunch of women wearing tight jeans, tube tops, and backwards red baseball caps follow her to presumably have wild group sex ...whether they like it or not.]
-----
"What da hell was that?" Dean says while eating a steak at one of Jimmy Buffett's many Margaritaville restaurant locations as Brianna shows him her latest backstage promo on her cell phone. "And how the hell did you get your voice to sound so ...so ...so ..."
"Gangsta?" She finishes the thought for him as a HUGE glass with a big swirly straw and paper umbrella sits in front of her with an unknown blue liquid. She just liked the name of the drink, the Cheeky Monkey, and didn't expect this daunting task of a refreshment.
"Those weren't the exact words I was looking for." He says before stuffing his face with steak again.
"I have been practicing my American accent and slang and I am proud to report that it is coming together VERY smashingly." She says before she attempts to sip her drink once more and she can taste all of the alcohol in that thing as it goes down her gullet.
"Okay, good for you, but WHY?" The owner of OCW questions her as their host Jimmy Buffett is in their area of the restaurant mingling with other guests.
"Why what?" She asks back as she continues to attempt to suck down what she swears is part windex.
"Why THAT?" Dean says as he points to her phone as she gives him a coy smile.
"I thought it would be nice for Roach to not feel so out of place here in 2014 so I put together a little gift for him before our grappling match at Massacre." She shoves the drink away from her as she continues to speak with Dean.
"Watching that brought back some bad memories of some dark times." He says as he cuts some more of his steak.
"Precisely. The late nineties and early 2000's was a weird time for all of us though I was still a little girl in that time. Back then it was all about being non-P.C and crossing the line of good taste just for the sake of doing it. And that "Sod off" attitude resonated like wild fire in the wrestling world. And for awhile, it was entertaining. But it was entertaining in the way a trainwreck is entertaining. You don't like what society has come to but for whatever reason you cannot look away and end up cheering for the most offensive of the ponces in the ring. It was a winning formula as I am sure you are aware first hand." Brianna says as she tilts her head to Dean.
"I made a lot of money in those days." Dean replies with a sly smile before using his fork to get a piece of meat to put into his mouth.
"But what was once unique and entertaining quickly became stale because raunch and offensiveness was what all the industry could offer. Everyone was a clone of everyone else. Everyone was trying to out badass the other badass blokes that it was just full of a bunch of badasses who wanted to hit each other with illegal weapons. It was no longer about the art of grappling, it was about shock value. And you would think that eventually those cheers would turn into boos as society became civilized again but something worse happened: those cheers turned into dead silence. The anti-hero; the badass; the rebel drove this industry into the ground." Brianna pauses momentarily to take another slurp of her huge mixed drink and a sour expression appears upon her face.
"You are not used to American drinks are you." Dean chuckles as the expression on her face disappears.
"No, I am much more used to amber ales." She replies before sliding the drink away from herself again. "But my point is that eventually those who ran those companies and you are included in this group, hands were forced to change; to evolve. You were forced to bring in young talent who didn't just drink beer and talk about thongs and what have you. They brought in people that could actually wrestle and not just know how to wield a stop sign or cheese grater. And slowly but surely, those clones disappeared as we grew; as we changed. And in my opinion we changed for the better. There is more variety in the people employed. Just look at OCW. We have men and women of different styles and ethnicities of all shapes and sizes competing against each other. Bloody hell. Fourteen years ago men wrestling women on a regular basis was unheard of and scoffed at. And now two OCW's champions are ladies now."
"Which is fantastic" He exclaims as he raises his glass to her. "But that does not explain that wacky video you just played for me."
"My point is that things have changed. Like everything in this world, things change and people change. Grappling is a much different world than it used be. So then why is Roach still living fourteen years ago. His mentality; his wrestling style; the way he talks; the way he addresses women. Those are attitudes of a man who has not grown with the product. Those are the attitudes of a man fighting to keep the spirit of the 90's alive. But unfortunately this isn't Portland. Roach is a man who is living in the past. He is the last clone of the bad ass left standing and I applaud him for that. But that does not change the fact that the game has changed."
"Say what you will, Brianna, but that made him stand out from the pack." Deans speaks before dabbling his face with his napkin.
"Oh, undeniably." Brianna proclaims now a bit buzzed as she speaks. That windex was some strong shit. "He adds to the variety that is OCW ...but will living in the past win him matches? Maybe if I held the 24/7 Extreme Violence Central title where there are no rules ...but if that were the case I would be fighting Tiami Tyler in a cheerleader outfit whipped cream match. This is not the year 2000. I am not an anti-hero or a badass. I am a champion. Granted I am a young champion and one who is just starting her career ...but I won the first OCW gold so I ought to be doing something right to get that point. I am living in the now. I am living in the present. I am not some fool who is sitting on her bum waiting for the 90's to happen all over again ...and refusing to adapt until they come back."
She stops for a moment and while still smiling her voice echoes of something serious. "I did not have his Family put me their crosshairs and try to strip me of what they THOUGHT made me me just to lose the Central title right out of the gate. I did not have two of the most grueling matches that frankly, given my experience, I shouldn't have walked away from just to have a gent who is STILL living pre-9/11 in his mind. His mate in the Family nearly exhausted himself trying to break me and Roach doesn't even try to equal half of his failing effort because that is not the way they did it back in the grand days of bra and panty and something on a pole matches. It is more than swinging a chair ..especially because this is NOT a hardcore match nor is it EXTREME. It is real grappling. Ian went in with the mentality that he was going to make things hardcore and cheat and he came out on the wrong end of that one."
Dean actually looks offended by this notion of hers. Despite being a backer and supporter of her, she did do something a while back that did spit in his face. "I don't know dog. You wouldn't be having to defend your title against the likes of him to build it back up if you didn't disrespect it when you first won it. I know it was a mistake..."
She immediately cuts him off."It was not a mistake. That is something your commentators said. Giving up the title was definitely pre-meditated and done for a very specific reason. It wasn't that I dislike the company nor did I dislike the notion of being a champion but there are two reasons. Firstly, to be quite frank, I was not ready yet. Think about it mate. Here I am a young girl who just got out of training camp and put into the jungle immediately. Then in a matter of two weeks, I am chosen as one of two people to compete for the first regional championship. While I did deserve that win, I felt something. I felt that I only deserved it for THAT match and for nothing else. I felt like I had to do more before earning it. I needed to be mentally ready to carry the title."
"While that is all well and good..." Dean begins. "you gave it to a guy that was had no business holding the title."
"I am sorry but I had to make an example out of him not just for himself but the roster as a whole. They needed to see what a champion wasn't. They needed to see that a champion wasn't someone who would rest on their laurels. A champion is not someone who fakes an injury to get an advantage. A champion does not rely on gang activity to win matches. Ian Bishop is and was and will probably always will be not a champion. I am a firm believer in leading by example. And I am proud to be that example. To see something done right, first you need to see it done in an absolutely dreadful manner to where people know that holding a title is not being a champion. There is a responsibility and a duty and you better be ready for those things because being a real champion is defending your title week in and week out if you have to. If you are not ready for that, you have no business challenging for the title in the first place. Ian was an example and the rest of The Family were serve as my control group to reinforce that theory. If Roach wants to win the Central title, he needs to be awake and focused and living in the present." Brianna then takes another slurp of her drink ...the sour face is still there but isn't as strong because she is getting more immune to it because she is getting drunker.
"It is funny that you mention the Family Brianna." Dean speaks from behind his mug. "They are why I asked you here."
"I figured you and Jimmy had me here for something of that sort." She stretched back getting ready to talk shop.
"They are becoming a huge problem and I need someone to take the initiative against them." He spoke before taking a swig of drink.
"What about those blokes and those other blokes that walk around with a guy with silver hair?" She asks half knowing what the answer would be.
"I don't trust them. They have no beef with The Family. For all I know they are just out to make a name for themselves. You have a reason for actually wanting to stop The Family. Afterall you were their first victim. They attacked you and attacked your friend. You have seen them in action and know the trouble they can cause. And you are also the one that has a fairly good track record against them. Plus, you owe me for dragging the Central title through the mud." He says with a raised eyebrow to Brianna.
"That could very well be the case good sir but what exactly are you proposing? Brianna asks again, half knowing what he is going to say.
"The Family are apparently declaring War now ...or at least I expect them to. If that is the case, then I am going to need someone who is willing to take a stand for the right reasons." He stops as he gives her a grim look but she just smiles it off with her positive attitude.
"I do believe you want me to lead a squad of some kind, don't you?" Brianna says with a plotting smile as the President fills her in on the information.
Leo the High School intern: Brianna next week you have a title defense against Roach. What are your thoughts and opinions on the title defense?
Brianna Casablancas: Leo, I am going to kick his ass in the ring and then I am going to have sex with my ho-wife because she is on the HO TRAIIINNNN! Then I am going to smoke some weed, drink some beers, and hit him on the head with a hammer or maybe some light tubes and if he doesn't like that he can kindly suckle on my genitals!
[The fans cheer over Brianna's In Your Face attitude as she is wearing a backwards baseball cap, a pair of sunglasses, a flannel shirt and baggy pants. She grabs the mic from Leo and then drops it. He picks it up before kicking him in the gut and then she beats up a camera man while he recovers. Leo then gets right back up and asks her a question.]
Leo The High School Intern: But what do you say to those that say you are not extreme enough for OCW?
Brianna Casablancas: I'll tell you what I have to say to that, SON! I am the most extreme motherfucker on the planet as you can tell from me beating up you and the cameraman. I also just got done having unprotected sex with an underaged catholic school girl. Is that extreme enough for you? Well how about this ...last week I competed in a barbed wire ladder in a flaming cage match with fifty other men and I was the only one who walked out alive.
[She pauses for a moment before pulling out what looks to be a new fangled boom box ...but it was more than a boom box. It was something important. It was something that would get ad revenue.]
Brianna Casablancas: I am so extreme that I listen to Korn with a backwards R on my new JVC Ka-boom Box. I am so extreme that I am the one that caused the recall election but punking out that environmental ---got Al Gore. Fuck him and his inconvenient truth! I am so extreme that I hang out with OJ Simpson AND Saddam Hussein. I am so damn fucking shit cock vagina that the guys who shot up Columbine called me from hell just to give me big ups on how awesome I am.
[She then chugs a beer before taking a drag of her cigarette because she is on the cutting edge of attitude. She gets cheered as she does. She also got cheered when she used the word ---got.]
Brianna Casablancas: But let me tell you something slapnuts. When Roach gets out there in the ring for my ...um ...
[She looks at her title to remember what title she carries because after all it doesn't matter what a title stands but the fact that it is a title ...and it is HER title.]
Brianna Casablancas: Center Title, he is going to have to nut up or shut up. If he isn't careful I am going to drop a cow on his ass like earthworm jim and shit, yo.
[Suddenly, she hears her phone ringing and pulls out a HUGE big ass cell phone. She looks excited to hear from whoever is on the other end.]
Brianna Casablancas: Yo, Alice. What up home girl? You calling to tell me stories about how we raped all of them bitches with god damn fucking broomsticks.
Alice Knight: No, I am just calling to say something completely out of character and unlike me ...so I am going to go to my two story home and eat food that I bought at the grocery store before doing my taxes.
Brianna Casablancas: NO DOUBT! NO DOUBT! You take it easy bitch. And don't worry about losing nine times in a row to the same person ...they just got lucky and has nothing to do with your lack of talent.
[She then hangs up the phone before slamming it over Leo's head and then spitting on him. Again, the fans go wild for this risque anti-hero like no person they have ever seen before.]
Brianna Casablancas: So Roach, if you want some ...cum and just bring it! IF YOU SMELL WHAT MY BOTTOM LINE IS YOU ROODY POO SLAPPY JABRONI BECAUSE BRIANNA 4: 20 SAYS YOU CAN DO TWO THINGS: NOTHING AND LIKE IT ...before YOU SUCK IT!
[She stops as the fans go massively crazy for her as her corporate bosses look on from the sidelines and she flips them the bird. The minute they show the unnamed unrecognizable bigwigs in suits the crowd starts chanting "ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!"]
Brianna Casablancas: Now come on ladies ...LETS BOUNCE ...JIGGY STYLE!
[Brianna walks off camera as a bunch of women wearing tight jeans, tube tops, and backwards red baseball caps follow her to presumably have wild group sex ...whether they like it or not.]
-----
"What da hell was that?" Dean says while eating a steak at one of Jimmy Buffett's many Margaritaville restaurant locations as Brianna shows him her latest backstage promo on her cell phone. "And how the hell did you get your voice to sound so ...so ...so ..."
"Gangsta?" She finishes the thought for him as a HUGE glass with a big swirly straw and paper umbrella sits in front of her with an unknown blue liquid. She just liked the name of the drink, the Cheeky Monkey, and didn't expect this daunting task of a refreshment.
"Those weren't the exact words I was looking for." He says before stuffing his face with steak again.
"I have been practicing my American accent and slang and I am proud to report that it is coming together VERY smashingly." She says before she attempts to sip her drink once more and she can taste all of the alcohol in that thing as it goes down her gullet.
"Okay, good for you, but WHY?" The owner of OCW questions her as their host Jimmy Buffett is in their area of the restaurant mingling with other guests.
"Why what?" She asks back as she continues to attempt to suck down what she swears is part windex.
"Why THAT?" Dean says as he points to her phone as she gives him a coy smile.
"I thought it would be nice for Roach to not feel so out of place here in 2014 so I put together a little gift for him before our grappling match at Massacre." She shoves the drink away from her as she continues to speak with Dean.
"Watching that brought back some bad memories of some dark times." He says as he cuts some more of his steak.
"Precisely. The late nineties and early 2000's was a weird time for all of us though I was still a little girl in that time. Back then it was all about being non-P.C and crossing the line of good taste just for the sake of doing it. And that "Sod off" attitude resonated like wild fire in the wrestling world. And for awhile, it was entertaining. But it was entertaining in the way a trainwreck is entertaining. You don't like what society has come to but for whatever reason you cannot look away and end up cheering for the most offensive of the ponces in the ring. It was a winning formula as I am sure you are aware first hand." Brianna says as she tilts her head to Dean.
"I made a lot of money in those days." Dean replies with a sly smile before using his fork to get a piece of meat to put into his mouth.
"But what was once unique and entertaining quickly became stale because raunch and offensiveness was what all the industry could offer. Everyone was a clone of everyone else. Everyone was trying to out badass the other badass blokes that it was just full of a bunch of badasses who wanted to hit each other with illegal weapons. It was no longer about the art of grappling, it was about shock value. And you would think that eventually those cheers would turn into boos as society became civilized again but something worse happened: those cheers turned into dead silence. The anti-hero; the badass; the rebel drove this industry into the ground." Brianna pauses momentarily to take another slurp of her huge mixed drink and a sour expression appears upon her face.
"You are not used to American drinks are you." Dean chuckles as the expression on her face disappears.
"No, I am much more used to amber ales." She replies before sliding the drink away from herself again. "But my point is that eventually those who ran those companies and you are included in this group, hands were forced to change; to evolve. You were forced to bring in young talent who didn't just drink beer and talk about thongs and what have you. They brought in people that could actually wrestle and not just know how to wield a stop sign or cheese grater. And slowly but surely, those clones disappeared as we grew; as we changed. And in my opinion we changed for the better. There is more variety in the people employed. Just look at OCW. We have men and women of different styles and ethnicities of all shapes and sizes competing against each other. Bloody hell. Fourteen years ago men wrestling women on a regular basis was unheard of and scoffed at. And now two OCW's champions are ladies now."
"Which is fantastic" He exclaims as he raises his glass to her. "But that does not explain that wacky video you just played for me."
"My point is that things have changed. Like everything in this world, things change and people change. Grappling is a much different world than it used be. So then why is Roach still living fourteen years ago. His mentality; his wrestling style; the way he talks; the way he addresses women. Those are attitudes of a man who has not grown with the product. Those are the attitudes of a man fighting to keep the spirit of the 90's alive. But unfortunately this isn't Portland. Roach is a man who is living in the past. He is the last clone of the bad ass left standing and I applaud him for that. But that does not change the fact that the game has changed."
"Say what you will, Brianna, but that made him stand out from the pack." Deans speaks before dabbling his face with his napkin.
"Oh, undeniably." Brianna proclaims now a bit buzzed as she speaks. That windex was some strong shit. "He adds to the variety that is OCW ...but will living in the past win him matches? Maybe if I held the 24/7 Extreme Violence Central title where there are no rules ...but if that were the case I would be fighting Tiami Tyler in a cheerleader outfit whipped cream match. This is not the year 2000. I am not an anti-hero or a badass. I am a champion. Granted I am a young champion and one who is just starting her career ...but I won the first OCW gold so I ought to be doing something right to get that point. I am living in the now. I am living in the present. I am not some fool who is sitting on her bum waiting for the 90's to happen all over again ...and refusing to adapt until they come back."
She stops for a moment and while still smiling her voice echoes of something serious. "I did not have his Family put me their crosshairs and try to strip me of what they THOUGHT made me me just to lose the Central title right out of the gate. I did not have two of the most grueling matches that frankly, given my experience, I shouldn't have walked away from just to have a gent who is STILL living pre-9/11 in his mind. His mate in the Family nearly exhausted himself trying to break me and Roach doesn't even try to equal half of his failing effort because that is not the way they did it back in the grand days of bra and panty and something on a pole matches. It is more than swinging a chair ..especially because this is NOT a hardcore match nor is it EXTREME. It is real grappling. Ian went in with the mentality that he was going to make things hardcore and cheat and he came out on the wrong end of that one."
Dean actually looks offended by this notion of hers. Despite being a backer and supporter of her, she did do something a while back that did spit in his face. "I don't know dog. You wouldn't be having to defend your title against the likes of him to build it back up if you didn't disrespect it when you first won it. I know it was a mistake..."
She immediately cuts him off."It was not a mistake. That is something your commentators said. Giving up the title was definitely pre-meditated and done for a very specific reason. It wasn't that I dislike the company nor did I dislike the notion of being a champion but there are two reasons. Firstly, to be quite frank, I was not ready yet. Think about it mate. Here I am a young girl who just got out of training camp and put into the jungle immediately. Then in a matter of two weeks, I am chosen as one of two people to compete for the first regional championship. While I did deserve that win, I felt something. I felt that I only deserved it for THAT match and for nothing else. I felt like I had to do more before earning it. I needed to be mentally ready to carry the title."
"While that is all well and good..." Dean begins. "you gave it to a guy that was had no business holding the title."
"I am sorry but I had to make an example out of him not just for himself but the roster as a whole. They needed to see what a champion wasn't. They needed to see that a champion wasn't someone who would rest on their laurels. A champion is not someone who fakes an injury to get an advantage. A champion does not rely on gang activity to win matches. Ian Bishop is and was and will probably always will be not a champion. I am a firm believer in leading by example. And I am proud to be that example. To see something done right, first you need to see it done in an absolutely dreadful manner to where people know that holding a title is not being a champion. There is a responsibility and a duty and you better be ready for those things because being a real champion is defending your title week in and week out if you have to. If you are not ready for that, you have no business challenging for the title in the first place. Ian was an example and the rest of The Family were serve as my control group to reinforce that theory. If Roach wants to win the Central title, he needs to be awake and focused and living in the present." Brianna then takes another slurp of her drink ...the sour face is still there but isn't as strong because she is getting more immune to it because she is getting drunker.
"It is funny that you mention the Family Brianna." Dean speaks from behind his mug. "They are why I asked you here."
"I figured you and Jimmy had me here for something of that sort." She stretched back getting ready to talk shop.
"They are becoming a huge problem and I need someone to take the initiative against them." He spoke before taking a swig of drink.
"What about those blokes and those other blokes that walk around with a guy with silver hair?" She asks half knowing what the answer would be.
"I don't trust them. They have no beef with The Family. For all I know they are just out to make a name for themselves. You have a reason for actually wanting to stop The Family. Afterall you were their first victim. They attacked you and attacked your friend. You have seen them in action and know the trouble they can cause. And you are also the one that has a fairly good track record against them. Plus, you owe me for dragging the Central title through the mud." He says with a raised eyebrow to Brianna.
"That could very well be the case good sir but what exactly are you proposing? Brianna asks again, half knowing what he is going to say.
"The Family are apparently declaring War now ...or at least I expect them to. If that is the case, then I am going to need someone who is willing to take a stand for the right reasons." He stops as he gives her a grim look but she just smiles it off with her positive attitude.
"I do believe you want me to lead a squad of some kind, don't you?" Brianna says with a plotting smile as the President fills her in on the information.
