PennyLord's Playpit: Episode 1. ft PennyLass and Cheasy M!

[Dylan Thomas]

PennyLord's Playpit: Episode 1!
ft PennyLass & Cheasy M!!

The spooky opening part of Benjamin Walfisch’s Every 27 Years from IT Chapter 2 starts up (the bit with the spooky kids singing Oranges and Lemons - seriously...what is that?!) before transitioning into the opening bars of Spider In My Mouth by Fozzy (which again has creepy children singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider) which then finishes with the calming Piano Music of Every 27 Years.

The scene then opens to what looks like a sewer and suddenly we see PennyLord race towards the camera with a high-pitched squeal and laughter before stopping dead and staring a hole into the camera.

PennyLord: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHEHEHE! It’s your favourite clown, me! PennyLord and welcome… hehehe to PennyLord’s Playpit where all my favourite PennyLord Peeps can feel safe and secure. You know why, kids? You know WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!! Because kids hehehehehe!!!!!!! You’ll float. You’ll all FLOAT down here with me!!! And PennyLass! We can’t forget my mascot can we? Can we PennyLass?!!

PennyLass then wanders into shot shaking her head with a giggle.

PennyLass: But PennyLord…

PennyLord: What?

PennyLass: What is the Playpit, exactly?

PennyLord begins to giggle himself.

PennyLord: It’s where you and me and all of the other PennyLord Peeps can have sooooooooooooooo much fun!!!!!! Hehehehehehehe. I spent my entire career being an Evil Edwin that I forgot how to be a Playful PennyLord! So now… we are gonna change that with balloons and toys and games and cake! (And violence). It’s gonna be so, so, so much fun!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Right here on OCWTV!!!! And all of the PennyLord Peeps can join in at home! Are you a PennyLord Peep?! Call the really expensive number flashing up on screen right now to join the PennyLord Peep fan club and find out how YOU can join PennyLass and Me down here. Where you’ll float too. It gets really, really, REALLY lonely down here in the Playpit sometimes, doesn’t it PennyLass?

PennyLass: Yeppers! But That sounds amazing fun, PennyLord!

PennyLord: Doesn’t it? So let’s get started! I’ve found us a friend to help us get off the ground. Hehehehe ‘off the ground’.

PennyLass: Will they float?

PennyLord stares into the camera with a sinister grin.

PennyLord: Ohhhhhhhhh! He’ll float, PennyLass! They’ll ALL FLOAT down here!!!!

PennyLord and PennyLass cheer as cheery kiddy music starts to play before it's evident that it is once again Fozzy’s Spider In My Mouth.

??: Hey! Hey hey… Weirdo Clown guy? Heh….Um…..W-would you mind getting me down?

PennyLord giggles like Mutley before making the camera turn around. Upon turning around the viewer is treated to a horrific sight. Blindfolded and strapped to a wooden circle that knife throwers aim at when testing how good they are at throwing is none other than OCW Piledriver host Cheasy M!

Cheasy M: Look I…...I didn’t realise that this was going to be in my OCW contract…. Can I just please talk to Who’Re?!

**WHAM**

Cheasy M: Argh!!

As Cheasy is talking a knife lands in between his legs.

PennyLord: CHEASY!!!!!!!!!! STOP BEING A NEGATIVE NORMAN AND LET ME CONCENTRATE!!!!!!!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase. And thank-you.

Cheasy: R-right. Right.

**WHAM**

This time a knife lands just below his armpit.

Cheasy: Oh my God!!

PennyLass: He told you to Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PennyLord: Thank-you PennyLass.

PennyLord turns his head towards the camera with a grin.

PennyLord: Remember kids, if you want to play this game, make sure it’s under the supervision of some…….like minded individuals because there can be some real Negative Normans out there that will try and spoil your fun!

PennyLord scowls as a track of kids saying Booooooooooooooooooo! Comes on the screen.


PennyLord: And what don’t we like, kids?

The track then has kids shouting Negative Normans! Come up on screen as PennyLass shouts the same.

PennyLord: Cheasy! What don’t we like?!

Cheasy M: Um… like in general? Well I can’t say I like peeing my pants all that much, but here we are!

PennyLass: The answer is Negative Normans!

PennyLord nods and goes up to Cheasy, removing his blindfold. It’s revealed to Cheasy then (as well as the rest of us) that PennyLord is carrying a comically large knife whilst he smiles at Cheasy.

Cheasy: Oh. U-um….N-negative N-normans?

PennyLord: Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat’s right!!!!

Cheasy: What are you going to do with that?!

PennyLord looks puzzled.

PennyLord: With what?

PennyLord then notices that he is carrying the comically large knife and ‘startles’ himself.

PennyLord: Oh! Oh this?! Hehehehe….why it’s cake time you silly cheasy head!!!

Cheasy: C-cake time?

PennyLord: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssss! You… hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe! You thought this was for you?!! Oh Cheasy!!! Hehehehe!! You’re too funny!! PennyLass!!

PennyLass: Yes, PennyLord?

PennyLord: BRING ON THE CAKE!!!!!

A kids cheering track comes up on screen as PennyLass pushes out an exceptionally large chocolate cake and PennyLord takes aim with the huge blade, accidentally poking Cheasy with the handle a few times as he does.

Cheasy: Ow!

PennyLord: Oopsie!

Cheasy: Ow!

PennyLord: Oopsie!

Eventually, PennyLord throws the large blade sending it straight through the middle of the cake and in a moment of TV magic, lots of pieces of cake land perfectly on a nearby table -even on plates!-

PennyLord: TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

PennyLass applauds, accompanied by a track of applause as PennyLord bows in every direction

PennyLord: Thank-YOU! THANK-YOU! HEHEHEHEHE!! Thank-you!

Suddenly a comically large alarm clock starts to ring, and PennyLord and PennyLass look sad.

PennyLord. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! That sound means we’re out of time!!

PennyLass: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! Well they can join us next time!!

PennyLord: That they can! BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

PennyLass: Buh-byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

The two clowns then bite into some cake as the intro music starts up again and we slowly fade out. As we fade to black we hear Cheasy M asking if he’s allowed off the wheel yet. Before the clowns answer however, we completely cut to black.