Post by ROUND II | Ross Hanson on Aug 22, 2021 9:27:27 GMT -5
Originally aired July 23, 2021 as CD piece (link here)
Scene takes place on July 22, 2021 (edited for clarity)
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It was 2:11 in the morning when I turned my car off. I remembered to put duct tape over my license plate this time. I figure this will only take a minute."Shit...fuck…"
The flathead screwdriver I usually use wasn't in my hiding spot, which means that this place has already been scouted out by crackheads floating in from Livingston Avenue. They've been getting bold here lately if they're coming this far out of their home territory.
"...shit…"
Almost got it...man, why do these dumb landlords always paint the windows shut? And better yet why did I have to lose the spare key that Mom gave me? Why couldn't she just live next door to me where nobody would give a fuck if I'm trying to break into her apartment?
"FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER!"
"FUCK!"
Just as I got the window pried open, too. And my dumb ass let go of the windowsill. Oh I forgot to mention...Mom's apartment is on the second floor.
"BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
I rolled over, thankful none of my ribs came off my god damn chest bone. It's good to know that this guy I barely know thinks he's cool enough with me to pull this kind of prank. Convince me to go steal my mom's debit card with all her GCC and pro wrestling money on it, go pull out a bunch of cash so he can pay for a hot tub or whatever the fuck they're doing to their backyard.
"Gotcha, bitch!"
"Could you be any louder? I don't think the actual police heard you…"
"Dude, you know damn well there ain't gonna be no cops out here. This is a no go zone."
"Did you follow me out here to talk shit or you gonna help me up?"
"Yes."
I said help me up, not yank my arm out of socket.
"Thank you. I meant up there…"
I pointed to the window. He looked back at me puzzled.
"Why don't you just go inside to her door and pick the lock?"
"I tried that last time. Door will not budge. The window is the only way in."
"Well stay your big clumsy ass down here and let the high flyer who climbs up things for a living do it."
"I can live with that. If you hear any noise It's just me slamming someone on their head."
"BRB. And by the way, I followed you out here to make sure I got my cut of the cash."
Man, this guy is an asshole. But he is right about me not being made to climb stuff, so let him be the one to fall off that shit next.
"...mew…"
Hey, little girl. What are you running up on my leg for?
"Hi kitty...what are you doing out here?"
"Mew!"
I am a simple man. I see a kitty cat, I scritch its noggin. This dude is already inside the window, I know because I looked up just in time to see his feet go in.
"I hear that kitty motor purring...you are a happy girl right now, aren't you?"
I love the black and grey fur stripe pattern on this cat. And for just meeting me she seems very chill. She can't be more than a couple of months old.
"What? You want the scritches?"
When you talk to a cat, you get on your knees so you can be down to their level. Thar, or you are bowing to their superiority. Probably a little bit of both.
"...hey b0ss..."
I look up to see a head coming from the window.
"You're not going to believe this, but I found out why you couldn't break through the door."
"Why?"
"Just come on up here. Use the window."
"Be right there…"
I looked back at my new friend.
"Make you a deal. If you're still here when we come back, I will take you home with me and make sure you get all the scritches you want. Deal?"
"MEW!"
"Good doing business with ya…"
Well, here we go again…shit...fuck….shit….fuck….shit….fuck yeah! I made it! We're in.
"About time. I had a birthday waiting for you to climb that shit…"
"Not all of us like heights. Okay, show me what's going on, and then let's just get her purse and bounce…"
This place looks like nobody has been here in weeks.. maybe months. There is no way that my mom was living here up until a few days ago. Her purse is still on the kitchen table, too.
"What the fuck?"
Her debit card, driver's license, cell phone and God knows what else is in here. I'll get it all sorted out when I get back to my crib. I'm just hoping the old lady in 2C remembers me from helping her move that couch, and doesn't flip out if she sees me here.
"Look. Door's been nailed shut. Boarded up, too."
These cheap one bedroom apartments have the kitchen and living room open face to one another, so it wasn't hard to see that indeed this place had been barricaded shut.
"How is that even possible? It doesn't look like Mom's been here for a long while, and she just got locked up last week."
"She's been going nuts for years. I'm honestly surprised this didn't happen sooner."
"Yeah well maybe if it did, she would have gotten the help she needed instead of just trying to dig deeper into the shit that was driving her crazy. I don't know…"
"Forget about that dumb shit. Is everything there?"
Mom wasn't a flashy kind of woman. Her purse was small and easily able to stuff into an oversized cargo pocket on my black pants.
"Yeah. We can go through it all later, but the important stuff is all there…"
"Looks like we're going back out the way we came in…"
"What the fuck was that noise?
"You hear that?"
The bedroom...we never looked in the bedroom…
"You smell that?"
"That stinks like fuckin' shit…"
This motherfucker straight sniffed the air.
"That's meth."
And he fuckin' did it again.
"And not the cheap shit…"
"How the fuck do you know that?"
"Don't ask…"
We heard another noise. It was time to act. Without even counting down, I just went through the door like the Kool-Aid man. And there was definitely somebody in my mom's bed…
"What the fuck is this?"
"Who the fuck are you?"
"Oh? Who the fuck am I?"
Excuse me for a minute. Narrator, go third person for a minute. I gotta take care of some shit real fast.
"Oh, hell to the fuck no!"
Narrator here, I'll be seeing you the rest of the way through this scene. Ross leaps onto the bed, smacking the pipe across the room. And that is when both of them, almost at the exact same time, saw the object barely visible sticking out from underneath a pillow.
"GUN!"
The startled squatter is grabbed by the ankles, dragged from a laying position all the way off the bed. He apparently had no clue there was a pistol right under his head, as he makes no attempt to reach for it and merely tries to cover his head.
"SHOOT FIGHT!"
After tossing the man onto the floor, Ross turns around to go after him again...only to find his partner in crime delivering a very sharp soccer kick to the face.
"WHAT'S GOOD IN THE HOOD?"
"The fuck you doing in my mom's house, motherfucker?"
"Let me in on this shit, man…"
"Answer me before I rip one of your arms off and masturbate with it in front of you!"
The backup stares down at the pile, a foot in the air ready to stomp down. Ross has the man by the throat, who is struggling to breathe so he can speak.
"Chill...chill out…"
"You see my face? I am chill!"
Ross has an extremely angry look on his face. The other assailant appears to be chill, almost enjoying himself.
"You might wanna answer him dude. That whole jacking off with your dismembered arm thing sounds kind of cool, I might try to peer pressure him into doing it just on GP."
"Okay...okay…"
"Did you board the fuckin' door?"
"...yeah…"
"Why?"
"...kicked that bitch out of my house…"
The backup man almost gasps at this line. Ross just shakes his head.
"Rip the other arm off too so I can make this a circle jerk."
"Oh, wrong answer."
He stands up from full mount, pulling the man up by his hair.
"Here, catch!"
He grabs the man's wrist, pushing on the shoulder with his free hand to send him right into the other man's waiting arms.
"NO!"
A spinning backfist sends the man flying out the bedroom door, across the hallway, and through the bathroom doorway. The unlucky recipient stumbles into the bathtub, blood beginning to pour from the corner of his mouth. The giver of the backfist from Hell is the first one in the bathroom, grabbing the other man by his ankles and pulling him out of the bathtub.
'No more...no more…."
Sitting the man up on the edge of the bathtub, he uses a three quarter nelson to bring him back out to the hallway. Ross is there waiting, grabbing the man in a rear waistlock and pulling him away.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
"My turn!"
He picks the man up, who is screaming the whole way in the air. He walks backwards while lifting the man, then throws him in a half German suplex and half amateur wrestling takedown straight into the kitchen table.
"...ugh…."
"Yeah! You want some fuckin' more?"
"I got something for your bitch ass…"
Ross walks off, while the spinning backfister looks over at the bloodied mess huddled onto the kitchen table. Glancing over at a nearby kitchen chair, he gets a bright idea (as if any of this wasn't one to begin with.)
"HIGH SPOT!"
He springboards onto the chair, then onto the man on the table with a legdrop. The table refuses to break, merely flipping over with the beaten man still on it. The leg dropper just tosses the table aside, rolling backwards and pulling himself to his feet via the back of a nearby couch. He looks back for his partner.
"Come on man. We got what we came here for..."
He has to test every millisecond of his reflexes as he jumps backwards, barely avoiding the 65" flat screen TV as Ross flies through the air. Leaping from the couch to deliver a flying body splash with the big screen in his hands, a loud and nearly deafening crash accompanies the explosion of plastic shards upon impact
"Oh, shit!"
The man on the floor is no longer making noise. Ross pushes himself up from the wreckage.
"We gotta bounce man...come on…"
After standing up, he walks over to the door and boots the plank nailed to it in half. He then simply unchains the front door and turns the deadbolt.
"Move it!"
The duo practically run down the complex stairs, with more than one resident peeking their heads out to see what the commotion is.
"I thought you said the cops don't come out here!"
"Half of Ohio just heard us beat a man to death. We need to go. Now."
The two reach the outside, where both getaway cars are parked. While the other man runs to his vehicle, Ross stops halfway.
"Okay...hang on….one more thing..."
He runs back to the side yard…
"What the fuck are you doing dude?"
...and returns holding a small grey and black kitten.
"I'll message you on Discord when I get back to the house. Drive safe."
He pops opens his driver's door, putting the cat on his passenger seat.
"Yeah. You too."
Ross gets into his car first, while the other man stands watch at his back bumper. Suddenly he turns and looks back.
"Hey, Graham?"
"What, Ross?"
Ross leans his head out of the car door.
"Good teamwork."
Ross shuts the door, quickly starting the car. Graham leans down, grabbing onto the duct tape over his license plate. He doesn't even have to use any effort to pull it off, Ross does the work for him by putting the car in drive and speeding away.
"...heh...it was, wasn't it?"
