Post by zybala on Aug 17, 2021 7:10:13 GMT -5
~ Welcome back to The Yard, my friends! Hope you all had a great and safe weekend! The Yardies are already in full swing on this beautiful Florida Monday. Despite the heinous attack on The Yard by Pryde and Peter Vaughn, The Yard still stands proud! The ring has a new canvas, Eastern European and Emilio have new grills and Zybala and Dean are sitting behind a folding table. Fans have packed the seats, they won't be scared off by a couple of thugs. E.E. and Emilio are back to their usual positions at the new grills. The port-o-potties have been cleaned and sanitized.
The Mariachi Band is rocking a mariachi version of "Shadow Dancing" by Andy Gibb. Why? Who knows. Maybe they're having a disco phase. Maybe they want to appease a character of Will's and magically summon him. The camera pans over the rowdy crowd. One fan is particularly loud. It's none other than MARCUS WELSH! He is looking excited and has so many snacks around him, which he is sharing with the other fans around him. Behind the new table is our trusty commentary team of Mike Zybala and Dean! They have the headsets and microphones at the ready and Zybala has the laptop for the entrance themes next to him. ~
Zybala: Welcome back to a brand new Dystopia! We are back and better than ever! Speaking of better than ever, a special shout out to Marcus Welsh who is out of the hospital just to join us! Enjoy the show, buddy! Anyways, I'm Mike Zybala!
Dean: And I'm the O.G. Outsider, Dean! Despite getting jumped by a couple of suckas at the last show, I'm still here to call the action!
Zybala: And action is what we have! We see The Judge make his Yard debut as he takes on Billy Thomas. Cori Haim will face off against the only Outsiders grand slam champion; The Uber-Man.
Dean: And our main event will show Victor Malvado defend his half of the tag team titles against Saturday! On top of us inducting the first person into our Hall of Fame, we got a stacked card.
Zybala: But before we start the show, somebody has something to say…
~ Zybala begins to play Voltaire’s ‘When You’re Evil’ and Lord Allton in his leg braces and The Family emerge from the house into The Yard to cheers! Lord Allton looks around bemused but he has a smile on his face. A ‘Lord Allton!’ chant even begins before he shakes his head in disbelief. Never in his wrestling career has he had a Lord Allton chant aimed at him. ‘Lord Allton sucks!’, maybe… but not this one. The Family walk across the grass and then climb into the ring, with Allton in the middle of Tank and Vincenzo. The Lord Allton chant then turns to a ‘Family!’ one which humbles both Tank and Vincenzo. ~
Allton: Thank you everyone but -
~ The cheers start again and a chant of ‘Penny!’ begins. Allton raises his microphone in the air and then walks around the ring with the microphone held out to the audience as Tank, Vincenzo and Allton all nod along. ~
Allton: Well said! Unfortunately Lady Penelope cannot be here tonight but Penny…. Do you hear that? That one’s for you!
~ The crowd cheers again while Allton puts his microphone to his lips. ~
Allton: Now… if you all excuse me… We must attend to business. Peter Vaughn!
~ The crowd collectively boos and the Family nod along in agreement. ~
Allton: After Dystopia 21… you seemingly grew a pair and had the gaul to attack me! The audacity to attack my Family! Vaughn… I don’t know what’s happened to you since teaming up with the former Pryde… but if you think that this new attitude change is going to help you accomplish anything here in Outsiders, on MY show! You are sorely, sorely mistaken! Don’t you remember who I am? I’m Lord Goddamn Allton! I will do and have done anything to make sure I get ahead here in Outsiders. Just ask Cori Haim. Just ask your former buddy Aaron Warthog. Just. Ask. Barry. You may be holding the World title right now Vaughn, but you are not holding it for long! I am coming for you, Vaughn! I am locking you in the BarrySlayer and I am choking you out!
~ The crowd cheers. ~
Allton: Outsiders - Dystopia is MY show. I am the one who has been consistently in the main events since my return! And I will still be here for a very long time to come! Until the time that we face off one-on-one Vaughn, know that my Family is also out for your blood! And this time we’re going to do it with all of you behind us!
~ The crowd cheers again and once again breaks into a Family chant. ~
Allton: You might like violence in your new mindset Vaughn…. But trust me, so do we!!
~ Allton then emphatically looks at the camera with eyes of steel, throwing the microphone to the floor so hard that it could have broken. Tank and Vincenzo nod in agreement. ~
Vincenzo: You’re damn fuckin’ right, Boss!
~ Suddenly, “This Time It’s Different” by Evans Blue starts to play. The crowd immediately begins to boo heavily as Peter “The Janitor” Vaughn and Jonathan “Pryde” Barrows walk out from the house opposite from the Family. Neither are wearing their masks at the moment, allowing us to see the smirk on Barrows’ face and the anger fueling Vaughn. ~
Jonathan Barrows: Allton, Allton, Allton… Dystopia is your show, huh? That’s like saying the trash can outside my condo is mine. You want this dumpster fire? It’s all yours.
~ The crowd looks ready to jump over and attack Barrows at any second, furious at the disrespect being shown to the Yard. Vaughn takes the mic from his new mentor, glaring at Allton. ~
Peter Vaughn: So this is the man you all want to cheer for? The freak who eats children? That’s a hero to the people now? You fans make me sick!
~Somehow, the boos manage to get even louder, but Vaughn completely ignores them. ~
Peter Vaughn: As for you, Allton, I’m sorry you took your beating as an insult to you, last Dystopia. The fact is, it had nothing to do with you. You just happened to be there, when Jonathan and I made our statement. You were… irrelevant. We were just here to destroy a blight in the world of pro wrestling. Outsiders has outlived its usefulness. It’s a pointless dream from a hapless man, and last time, we did our best to remove it from existence. Maybe we’ll just have to try again, until the message gets across.
~ Lord Allton and the Family look around at each other, then start daring Vaughn & Barrows to try it. The crowd gives some cheers, wanting to see The Family get their revenge. But Vaughn doesn’t make a move, shaking his head. ~
Peter Vaughn: As for you, Allton, you think you can ‘rise’ to the challenge and take this title from me? There have been a lot of people who thought they were better than me, who have paid for their ignorance. In your own words… ask The Uber Man. Ask Matt Meyhu. Ask. Mike. Zybala.
~ The cameras swivel to show Zybala’s face, which has a combination of disappointment and frustration across it. Allton signals to the boys nearby, who get him a fresh mic. ~
Lord Allton: Everyone loves Pennywise really! IT was one of the biggest grossing movies of 2017!
~ The people cheer. ~
Allton: If that was your best Vaughn, at an attempt at destroying Outsiders… Then beating you for the World Title is a cinch! After all, you failed, didn’t you?! You talk pretty big from over there, Vaughn. So what is it? Now you’re the Craze Champion of Online Championship Wrestling, the place where you made your face is insignificant now?
~ Allton begins to get more irate, pacing the ring back and forth like a wolf on the hunt, his eyes NEVER leaving Vaughn and Barrows. ~
Allton: I have been making Outsiders more and more legitimate EVERY week! And when - not if - WHEN I become Outsiders Champion, I will have accomplished my goal! Granted, I was supposed to beat the Uber-Man for it but you got in the way of that. But quite frankly I could care less who I beat for it. And right now YOU’RE at the top of the Family’s SHIT LIST! The trouble is Petey you won’t be Craze champ forever and then you’ll come crawling back, and when you do, I’ll be right here, waiting for you!!
~ Lord Allton smirks, and then Lord Allton & The Family start to climb out of the ring, heading in the direction of Barrows & Vaughn. The crowd is ready to see some bloodshed, as Vaughn looks ready to fight. But Barrows puts out an arm, calmly pushing Vaughn backwards, as he waves behind him. A group of muscle men suddenly march out, forming a human wall in front of the two. They look vaguely familiar to some, but only because of the t-shirts they’re wearing, which read “GCWA Security”. Allton & The Family get to the guards, staring them down. ~
Jonathan Barrows: You guys might recognize the gentlemen still on my payroll. Don’t worry, they’re not contracted to start violence. They’re just here to follow my orders. We’ll see you boys another time. C’mon, Peter.
~ Vaughn reluctantly comes after Barrows as they leave the area, with The Family looking ready for a brawl against the former security guards of the GCWA. ~
Vincenzo: RUN WHILE YOU CAN YOU LITTLE BITCHES! WE’RE COMING FOR YOU!
~ The Family get in close to the security guards and Vincenzo and Tank get ready to fight. Allton however holds back and puts his hands on their chests making them back down. ~
Allton: It’s fine boys. It’s fine. We’re not unreasonable. Let’s give these fine security guards one chance to back down. They’re only doing their jobs after all.
~ Allton turns to the security guards. ~
Allton: I suggest you take it. I won’t be so obliging a second time.
~ Suddenly Jonathan Barrows’ voice is heard, as he still has his mic with him. You can also hear sounds of car doors slamming, likely as Barrows & Vaughn are about to leave. ~
Barrows: I love hearing “Lord” Allton trying to sound like a badass. He’s, what, 5’6”?
Peter Vaughn: You know what? I’m bored now. GCWA Security? Jonathan and I are safe now, so feel free to implement… Order 66.
~ The crowd collectively boo as the security force moves in and overwhelms the Family. Tank and Vincenzo do their best to hold them off with boots and punches and Lord Allton punches a few with his brass knuckles but even that isn’t enough and soon the Family are once again thrown into the ring and brought down and out. That is until…..
A huge bearded man comes flying out of the house and gets into the ring! ~
Dean: Who’s this Sucka?
Zybala: It’s Frankie Larossia! Vincenzo’s older brother! His cooking back in New York is A-MAZING! Look at this!
~ Frankie is a one man wrecking crew with chokeslams and big boots a-plenty to the security guards as the crowd go ape-shit! He flings each guard over the rope much to the crowd’s delight! Frankie then helps each member of the Family up, and allows Lord Allton to lean on him. Tank picks up another microphone and hands it to Allton, who pants heavily. ~
Allton: *Pant* Is… that....all your boys have, Vaughn and Barrows? Meet the Family’s INSURANCE POLICY! Francisco ‘Frankie’ Larossia! And yeah, if that name sounds familiar, he’s Vincenzo’s older brother! I knew you’d try something like this Vaughn….so I asked Frankie to fly down from New York and watch our backs!! I may be small in height, Barrows but my mind is unmatched! And I’ve just proved that tonight! The Family has punked both of you out! And this! This is just the beginning, Vaughn! You’ve pissed the Larossias off - bad move. You’ve pissed Tank off - an even stupider move. But worst of all, you’ve pissed ME off! May whichever God you pray to, help you for that!!
~ Allton turns his head to stare up at Frankie who at 7’5 is even bigger than Tank. ~
Allton: Frankie! Consider this your official reinstatement!
Zybala: Good God! It looks like the Family has grown in number!
Dean: And what a number! Look at the size of this sucka!
~ Zybala then mouths to Allton that Barrows and Vaughn have gone from the area. ~
Allton: **Pant**. He what? They have? Hmph fine.
Vincenzo: Little bitches, just like I said.
~ Vincenzo then goes into the house, finding Bill to bring out Allton’s chair. Then each member of the Family helps Allton into his chair. The crowd start up a ‘Bill’ chant much to the amusement of the Family and even Bill himself. Bill raises his hands. ~
Allton: You bloody ham.
~ The Family go back into the house as Mitch and Belvedere make their way to the ring. As much as the fans enjoyed that opening part, they came here for action! And to day drink. We don't judge in The Yard. Actually, go grab yourself something to drink too. We'll wait for you…….
There you go. Now just sit back, relax, and let's get this show started! ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen!! Welcome back to another rousing episode of Dystopia! The following match is your opening match of the evening and it's scheduled for…... One Fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Introducing first, He resides from The Vista View Trailer Park, weighing in at, his words, "200 pounds of keeping a bitch in check", "Wifebeater' Billy Thomas.
~ "Keep Your Pimp Hand Strong '' plays over the speakers as Billy walks out to the boos of the fans. He makes his way to the ring, just being a real piece of shit; swearing at everyone and flipping off children. The Yardies boo even harder when Billy gets in the ring and grabs his crotch, yelling at the fans to "eat him." His music stops and Belvedere continues… ~
Belvedere: From THE COURT OF LAW...he is...THE JUDGE
~The hardcore PEOPLE’S COURT THEME plays. THE JUDGE marches to the ring, toting all his weapons. The Yardies cheer him on because they are law-abiding citizens. Those with unpaid parking tickets quickly leave to go pay them so as not to face this man's justice-fueled wrath. When THE JUDGE gets into the ring, he is advised by Mitch (rather than told because nobody tells THE JUDGE shit) to leave them outside the ring. Being a fair man, he follows the rules. He steps into the ring and eyes his competitor. Belvedere leaves the ring as Mitch calls for the bell. ~
Zybala: I've been waiting for this moment ever since THE JUDGE agreed to bring justice to The Yard!
Dean: Billy looks like he's about to shit his pants. Damn, THE JUDGE is fucking huge!
~ Hearing the foul language, THE JUDGE grabs his gavel and throws it at Dean like it's Mjölnir! Dean ducks as the gavel as it embeds into the house! THE JUDGE yells at Dean about swearing. Dean apologizes profusely and THE JUDGE accepts it. He then turns his attention back to Billy who runs up and kicks THE JUDGE right between the legs!! Mitch gets ready to call for the bell to disqualify Billy when THE JUDGE, who is showing no signs of being affected by the kick whatsoever, walks over to his corner and grabs his book. He proceeds to hurl it at Billy, sending him flying from the ring and landing in front of the front row. THE JUDGE berates Billy for using an illegal move. The fans cheer the action as Mitch calls for the bell, disqualifying both men. ~
Belvedere: Due to a double disqualification, this match has been ruled a no contest.
~ THE JUDGE leaves the ring after doling out his brand of justice. He literally jumps over the ropes and leaves a big divot in the grass when he lands. He goes to pick up his book from Billy's motionless body, then pulls his gavel out from the house, giving Dean a stern eye look. As THE JUDGE walks out of The Yard, Belvedere enters the ring holding an envelope. A buzz goes through the crowd. Could this be the Hall of Fame induction?? Zybala and Dean look excited as well. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, during this time, it is my extreme pleasure to announce the very first inductee for the Outsiders Championship Wrestling Hall of Fame!!
~ The Yardies let out a huge cheer and a small "Hall of Fame" chant. When the chant dies down, Belvedere starts to talk again but is cut off when someone starts shouting. ~
Random Fan: VOTE PRYDE OFF THE ISLAND!!!
~ The crowd laughs and Zybala seconds the motion. Belvedere just shakes his head as he opens the envelope. He pulls out the paper and reads it. ~
Belvedere: The very first inductee is one of the original Outsiders. He was in the first World Championship match; a title he would go on to win three times and hold the record for the longest title reign! Ladies and gentlemen, the first Outsider's Hall of Famer is none other than Peter Vaughn!!!
~ The fans boo as "Through The Night" is played on YouTube. Zybala refuses to recognize any other theme for Vaughn in The Yard! The camera switches to the parking lot, where Peter Vaughn is now coming out of a private van, which was surrounded by GCWA Security. Jonathan Barrows steps up next to him, whispering about being cautious, but Vaughn pushes past him, leaving the security behind as he heads towards the ring.~
Dean: The sucka’s actually going to come out here!
Zybala: Why wouldn’t he? It’s a big honor! About time Vaughn got some recognition for his hard work.
Dean: He did attack us and beat you. How are you so chill?
Zybala: Two reasons. I'm a professional and day drinking.
~Vaughn slides into the ring, walking over to Belvedere, looking ready to believe that it’s a trick. But Belvedere hands him what looks to be a plaque, probably created at Hobby Lobby or one of those craft stores. (It was. Don't be hating. It was made with love.) Vaughn stares at it, a smile finally breaking through on his face. He doesn’t seem to notice the boos that are still coming his way, as he takes the mic from Belvedere, who makes a quick exit.~
Peter Vaughn: I don’t… I don’t know what to say… Mike… you kept your word!
~Vaughn looks out at Zybala, who appears to be proudly smiling, even after everything that’s happened lately. Vaughn nods to him, before raising the plaque over his head to more boos. We see Barrows near the van, possibly the only person applauding.~
Peter Vaughn: I didn’t expect this to happen. I thought they’d rig the ballots. But they actually did what was right. They gave me what I deserve. They made me… a Hall of Famer!
~Vaughn laughs, looking a little unstable as he does so. It’s almost like the old Janitor is showing through a few cracks, but the dangerous Vaughn is still there as well, making a stark contrast going across Vaughn’s face.~
Dean: Get ready to run.
Zybala: Just enjoy the moment!
Peter Vaughn: I’d lost faith in Outsiders. I thought that it should be put down, murdered, and ended in one fiery explosion. But maybe… maybe there’s still…
~Vaughn is suddenly cut off, as Voltaire’s “When You’re Evil” seems to be playing from the crowd. It’s coming through multiple people’s phones as they hold them up, adding an echo effect. Vaughn looks around, confused, as Lord Allton wheels out with Tank and the Thomas’s behind him from within the crowd. The people begin to cheer at the sight of a smiling Lord Allton. Allton is dressed in a fine navy blue suit and shakes a few nearby fans' hands. Dylan and Lissandra look furious but merely stare at Vaughn, letting Allton talk.~
Allton: Good evening ladies and gentlemen…...we are tonight’s ENTERTAINMENT!
~ A few fans chuckle at the Dark Knight and Joker reference as Lord Allton claps his hands sarcastically slowly. ~
Allton: Peter Vaughn, everybody…
~ The crowd boo and Allton turns his attention to the janitor. ~
Allton: First and foremost, Mr. Vaughn… congratulations. Sincerely… I mean, technically it should have been yours truly but…. Never mind. Secondly… you may notice that Vincenzo isn’t with us tonight.
Dylan: You fucking attacked him, you bastard!
~ Allton holds up a hand to quieten Dylan down… ~
Allton: Quite. But in a moment. In a moment. Now… Mr. Vaughn, you are boring these good people to tears! They didn’t come here to hear your drone on and on and on about how great you are! Or how you -wrongly - feel you’ve been wronged here.
Lissandra: I kept my word! Dylan kept his! I -
~ Allton holds up another hand to quieten Lissandra. ~
Allton: Please Lissie… please. These good people came to see some good old fashioned Outsiders VIOLENCE! AM I RIGHT?!!
~ The crowd cheers and begins an ‘Allton’ chant but Allton shakes his head and chants ‘VI-O-LENCE! VI-O-LENCE!’ as Tank pumps his arm in the air following the rhythm. The crowd catches on and chants along. Lord Allton looks towards Tank and Dylan over his shoulder with a smirk and shrug. ~
Allton: YOU HEARD ‘EM BOYS! FOR VINCENZO!
~ Allton, Tank and Dylan then charge headstrong towards Vaughn as the crowd cheers on. The cheers falter slightly, though, as Jonathan Barrows appears from the other side of the Yard, leading the GCWA Security Guards out. ~
Jonathan Barrows: Protect Vaughn!!
~ The security members run into the fray, trying to stop the wrestlers. It doesn’t go so well, as Tank is throwing guards everywhere, while Allton & Dylan are motivated to chop their way through. Vaughn, rather than leaving the ring, is yelling out towards Zybala, apparently screaming something about being promised safety. ~
Zybala: Safety? What are you talking about? This is Outsiders Wrestling! All I did was invite you!
Dean: I think Vaughn was expecting some protection by getting the Hall of Fame award.
Zybala: I don’t know what Barrows has been telling him, but he should know better! I taught him to always expect to be attacked. Barrows is turning him soft.
~ Vaughn wants to yell at Zybala some more, but he senses someone coming into the ring. He turns, as Dylan Thomas is standing there! Vaughn goes to hit him with the plaque, but Thomas ducks under it, then turns, grabbing a spinning Vaughn and dropping him with the Perfect Finisher!! ~
Dean: What a move!
Zybala: If Thomas hits that at Under The Lights, we might have a new Craze Champion!
Dean: And if Allton gets his hands on Vaughn, the Outsiders Title might find a new home too, sucka!
Zybala: Ahh dammit… this is getting out of control… even if he did bring this on himself...
~ Zybala gets up as Allton goes into the ring, as Tank is keeping the rest of the security guards down. He sizes up the recovering Vaughn, setting himself for the Legendary, Awesome, Gorgeous Punch!! But Zybala is there, grabbing Vaughn by the legs and yanking him out of the ring!! Vaughn looks to see who pulled him to safety as Allton looks down, upset at missing his chance to knock Vaughn out as Barrows quickly pushes Zybala out of the way. He grabs Vaughn and quickly hightails it, with Vaughn’s arm draped over his shoulder. Vaughn notices Zybala there looking concerned. The crowd is cheering on Dylan, Allton, and Tank, loving what they’ve seen. We see Barrows dragging Vaughn out, with Vaughn looking back once more… to see that Lord Allton has his Hall of Fame plaque. Zybala goes back to the table. ~
Zybala: Ummm, that one isn't actually yours, Lord Allton. Maybe you'll get it next time.
~ Allton shrugs his shoulders and nods, accepting Zybala’s fact. ~
Allton: Quite right, Mr. Zybala. Quite right. Ah well….
~ Allton then smiles, shows the plaque to everyone, then tosses it into the crowd! A couple of lucky fans fight over it, as Vaughn and Barrows are shown again, with Vaughn looking extremely upset. He’s pointing at Allton & Dylan, screaming that they’re going to pay for this, looking like he wants to head back no matter the odds. Barrows, the sane one, keeps Vaughn back, managing to get him towards the waiting van where a few security guards who haven’t had the crap beaten out of them are waiting. ~
Allton: Mr. Vaughn!!! Where the hell do you think you’re going? The fun’s only just beginning!!!
Dylan: You’re a fucking DEAD MAN VAUGHN! DEAD!
~ The Yardies cheer The Family and Dylan Thomas (never thought I would write those words together) as they leave the ring. The group high five fans on their way back to the house. The rest of the GCWA security finally recover enough to get up and leave The Yard. With the chaos gone, Belvedere gets in the ring to announce the next match. ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
YARDIES: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first... She calls Key West, Florida her home. She is "The One Armed Goddess" Cori Haim!!!
~ Zybala cues up the trusty YouTube and plays "Don't You (Forget About Me) and then stands up with one fist in the air. A few members of the crowd do this as well, as is tradition. Cori Haim walks into the yard to the cheers of the Yardies. She has a 40 in her hand and is chugging away as she stumbles her way to the yard. Cori climbs in the ring as the music stops. She finishes her booze and lets out a loud belch. She tosses the bottle onto the grass as a fan tosses her another beer. She starts drinking as Belvedere looks disgusted, but continues. ~
Belvedere: And her opponent….. hails from his secret lair in Rancho Cucamonga, California. Weighing 190 pounds of justice, he is the Outsiders Grand Slam Champion!!! This is The UUUUUUUUUUUUUBER-MAN!!
~ "Hero" by Nickleback hits the speakers and The Yard is filled with deafening cheers as Uber-Man steps out of the house! He's in his usual costume with the Grand Slam belt over his shoulder. He makes his way down the ramp to a chorus of "UBER-MAN'' chants. He is taken aback by this love and looks misty eyed. Uber is high-fiving everyone he can on his way to the ring. Uber-Man reaches the ring and climbs up on the apron before stepping in through the ropes. He strikes a series of heroic poses in the ring as the music dies down. Belvedere takes the title with him as he leaves the ring as Mitch checks both wrestlers before starting the match. ~
Zybala: Big stakes in this one partner. Uber-Man is looking to win so he could get back in the world title picture, and Corey needs a win because she hasn't won in god-knows-how-long.
Dean: True that. Whoever wins would definitely be in a title scene. Plus, Cori could use a win heading into Ladies Night.
~ The two opponents circle each other, looking for an opening. Uber-Man then notices Cori still has a beer in her only hand. Uber starts complaining to Mitch as Cori ignores both men and drinks more. Suddenly, a loud rage-filled yell comes from the house as a roar can be heard from outside of the yard!! Zybala and Dean look confused. The Yardies cheer as the wooden fence behind the bleachers explodes into splinters as The Squashness Monster menacingly stomps into The Yard. THE JUDGE also storms out of the house. ~
Zybala: IT'S THE SQUASH-NESS MONSTER!!!
Dean: AND THE JUDGE! What is he doing out here??
~ The fans laugh and cheer as the creature continues to menacingly stomps towards the ring; as does THE JUDGE. Both Uber and Cori know what's coming; both falling prey to the monster before. THE JUDGE adds a new wrinkle though. When Squash-ness gets to the edge of the outside of the ring, Cori turns to run from The Squashness Monster, only to run into THE JUDGE! He yells at her about drinking while working as he boots her in the face, laying her out. Uber-Man watches this in shock, allowing The Monster to get behind Uber-Man! The creature lifts Uber over it's head and throws him out of the ring! The Monster then looks at THE JUDGE and they share a nod of respect. They both leave the ring; THE JUDGE heading to the house and The Squashness Monster heading in the opposite direction. It stomps through The Yard, kicks another hole in the fence and leaves. ~
Dean: That was… Something… You'd think these suckas would learn by now to do a promo.
Zybala: Who knows what people expect to happen. Should we do Intermission??
Dean: Sure. Yo Emilio! Slap a burger in the grill for me!
INTERMISSION!!
~ We come back from intermission to see The Yardies making their way back to their seats. Welsh has even more snacks in front of him, not sure what to do with so many tasty treats now that a certain nurse isn't stealing them from him. Belvedere gets in the ring and the crowd quiets down. ~
Belvedere: The following match is your main event of the evening. It is also scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first….His weight and height are irrelevant… he hails from Parts Unknown…. He is everyone's favorite day of the week….. This is SATURDAY!!!!
~ "Saturday" by Elton John hits the speakers. Someone in a white full bodysuit comes out wearing a dirty college football jersey and carrying a 12 pack.Their face is covered by the bodysuit, though we can tell they have been trying to drink beer through the suit. Saturday is followed by Sunday. Both men get booed the whole way to the ring. The music stops and Belvedere continues….~
Belvedere: Y su contrincante... pesando 200 libras exactas... Él es uno de los campeones mundiales en parejas de OCW... VICTOR MALVADO!
– Suddenly, The Mariachi Band starts to play "Si Señor" by Control Machete. The Malvado Brothers jump out of the house and onto the ramp. They look appreciatively at The Mariachi Band as they play. The Brothers make their way to the ring, one sliding under the bottom rope while the other leaps over the top rope. They each go to a corner jumping onto the second turnbuckle and getting The Yardies pumped up! The Band stops playing as Hector leaves the ring and stares down Sunday, daring him to interfere. Mitch checks both Victor and Saturday and calls for the bell! Before the two can lock up, the crowd breaks into a "CERO ENGLISH!" chant, which pumps up both brothers. ~
Zybala: Revenge time for the tag champs. At least for Victor.
Dean: True enough. Saturday attacked both Malvados last Dystopia, and Victor wants vengeance!
~ Hector is playing it up with the crowd as he and Victor both take up the chant. Saturday, seeing an opportunity, runs up behind Victor and hits him with a surprise roll up! Not being Barry, Saturday doesn't even get a one count as Victor kicks out almost immediately. Both wrestlers get up and Victor immediately boots Saturday in the gut and hooks him for a Suplex. Victor lifts up his opponent and drops him on his back as The Yardies shout "UNO!" Still holding on to Saturday, Victor rolls on the mat, bringing him and Saturday back to a standing position and lifts the last day of the week again. Again Saturday crashes to the mat to a shout of "DOS!" Once more, Victor drags up Saturday and lifts him for a third Suplex! He drops The Weekend member to the mat as the fans shout "TRES!" Victor jumps up to his feet and soaks in the cheers from The Yardies. ~
Dean: This is looking a lot like the match Hector had with Sunday….
Zybala: Maybe Victor saw his brother's tactics were successful, so he decided to use them?
Dean: Sounds like laziness to me, sucka…
Zybala: Pfft, people know what to expect when they decide to watch us.
~ As Victor panders to the crowd, Saturday slowly gets to his feet. Hector starts yelling at his brother but Victor isn't paying attention. He tries to get a "Cero English" chant started but it's cut off when Saturday punches him in the back of the head; sending Victor stumbling out of the ring! The fans boo as Saturday mocks Victor's posing while Hector checks on his brother. He then looks at Mitch, whose attention is on lighting a blunt now that he's sure THE JUDGE has left. Hector then shoves Victor under the ring to recover and slides in to face Saturday! The fans cheer the switcharoo as Hector starts laying into Saturday with lefts and rights! Sunday tries to tell Mitch what happened, but the ref yells at him for saying "all Hispanics look alike!" and threatens to eject him from ringside!
Hector punches Saturday into a corner and climbs up on the second rope. He holds a fist high and brings it down on Saturday's dome piece. The fans start counting the punches in Spanish but boo after "TRES!" as Saturday manages to slip out and shoves Hector over the top rope! Hector drops to the grass and a now recovered Victor goes to check on him. Mitch is looking at the pair, so Victor picks up his brother, hugs him, and spins around with him a few times. Victor then slides back into the ring. Mitch stops him. ~
Mitch: Woah amigo! You Victor?
Victor: Si, Señor Mitch.
~ Mitch squints at Victor, shrugs, and allows it. Sunday leaps on the mat, yelling that they switched again. Mitch walks over and starts yelling at Sunday about being racist! Hector slides in the ring and kicks Saturday in the junk! He and Victor then set him up for a Suplex! They lift him up and hold him. ~
Zybala: It looks like with some Twin Magic, Victor is gonna make it a clean sweep against The Weekend…
Dean: ROMPE CABEZA!!!!
~ The Brothers drop Saturday in his head with the double brain buster! Saturday is out cold on the mat. Victor goes for the cover as Hector tries to leave the ring, but he is tackled through the rope by Sunday; who shoves his way past Mitch! The ref is about to yell at him more when he notices the pin attempt. He drops in position and makes the count. ~
Mitch: Uno…….Dos……...TRES!!!
Belvedere: Here is your winner…..VICTOR MALVADO!!
~ Mitch counts to three and calls for the bell. Victor hops to his feet to celebrate when he sees his brother fight with Saturday. He rushes out of the ring to give Hector a hand. ~
Zybala: At least we had one winner tonight… even if they used some shady tactics…
Dean: Shady nothing, sucka. The win column doesn't have asterisks. A win is a win.
Zybala: True enough partner. Though it looks like The champs aren't done with Sunday!
~ The brothers are now fighting Sunday two on one! The Last Day of the Week tries to put up a fight but the numbers are too much for him. Saturday drags himself out of the ring and makes his way over to the fight, but he's still weakened from the brain buster. The Brothers toss Sunday aside as they start to beat down Saturday. The Weekend is not having a good time. When they feel like they've done enough damage, The Malvado's walk out of The Yard to the cheers of the fans. ~
Dean: Two Dystopias and two straight losses for The Weekend. Maybe they better quit now before the champs do some serious damage.
Zybala: Screw that! We're gonna have a contract signing on the next Dystopia between the four for a tag title match!
Dean: But The Weekend keeps losing…
Zybala: Dude, we need some other storylines that don't involve Allton…
Dean: Well a contract signing it is! But that will have to wait until after LADIES NIGHT!!!! The Z-Man and I will have the show off, but we'll be in the crowd as the Ladies of The Yard take over! Outsiders trendsetting before OCW once again, sucka!!
Zybala: Can't wait for that special night. Until then, for Dean, I'm Mike Zybala saying Good Fight Good Night!
The Mariachi Band is rocking a mariachi version of "Shadow Dancing" by Andy Gibb. Why? Who knows. Maybe they're having a disco phase. Maybe they want to appease a character of Will's and magically summon him. The camera pans over the rowdy crowd. One fan is particularly loud. It's none other than MARCUS WELSH! He is looking excited and has so many snacks around him, which he is sharing with the other fans around him. Behind the new table is our trusty commentary team of Mike Zybala and Dean! They have the headsets and microphones at the ready and Zybala has the laptop for the entrance themes next to him. ~
Zybala: Welcome back to a brand new Dystopia! We are back and better than ever! Speaking of better than ever, a special shout out to Marcus Welsh who is out of the hospital just to join us! Enjoy the show, buddy! Anyways, I'm Mike Zybala!
Dean: And I'm the O.G. Outsider, Dean! Despite getting jumped by a couple of suckas at the last show, I'm still here to call the action!
Zybala: And action is what we have! We see The Judge make his Yard debut as he takes on Billy Thomas. Cori Haim will face off against the only Outsiders grand slam champion; The Uber-Man.
Dean: And our main event will show Victor Malvado defend his half of the tag team titles against Saturday! On top of us inducting the first person into our Hall of Fame, we got a stacked card.
Zybala: But before we start the show, somebody has something to say…
~ Zybala begins to play Voltaire’s ‘When You’re Evil’ and Lord Allton in his leg braces and The Family emerge from the house into The Yard to cheers! Lord Allton looks around bemused but he has a smile on his face. A ‘Lord Allton!’ chant even begins before he shakes his head in disbelief. Never in his wrestling career has he had a Lord Allton chant aimed at him. ‘Lord Allton sucks!’, maybe… but not this one. The Family walk across the grass and then climb into the ring, with Allton in the middle of Tank and Vincenzo. The Lord Allton chant then turns to a ‘Family!’ one which humbles both Tank and Vincenzo. ~
Allton: Thank you everyone but -
~ The cheers start again and a chant of ‘Penny!’ begins. Allton raises his microphone in the air and then walks around the ring with the microphone held out to the audience as Tank, Vincenzo and Allton all nod along. ~
Allton: Well said! Unfortunately Lady Penelope cannot be here tonight but Penny…. Do you hear that? That one’s for you!
~ The crowd cheers again while Allton puts his microphone to his lips. ~
Allton: Now… if you all excuse me… We must attend to business. Peter Vaughn!
~ The crowd collectively boos and the Family nod along in agreement. ~
Allton: After Dystopia 21… you seemingly grew a pair and had the gaul to attack me! The audacity to attack my Family! Vaughn… I don’t know what’s happened to you since teaming up with the former Pryde… but if you think that this new attitude change is going to help you accomplish anything here in Outsiders, on MY show! You are sorely, sorely mistaken! Don’t you remember who I am? I’m Lord Goddamn Allton! I will do and have done anything to make sure I get ahead here in Outsiders. Just ask Cori Haim. Just ask your former buddy Aaron Warthog. Just. Ask. Barry. You may be holding the World title right now Vaughn, but you are not holding it for long! I am coming for you, Vaughn! I am locking you in the BarrySlayer and I am choking you out!
~ The crowd cheers. ~
Allton: Outsiders - Dystopia is MY show. I am the one who has been consistently in the main events since my return! And I will still be here for a very long time to come! Until the time that we face off one-on-one Vaughn, know that my Family is also out for your blood! And this time we’re going to do it with all of you behind us!
~ The crowd cheers again and once again breaks into a Family chant. ~
Allton: You might like violence in your new mindset Vaughn…. But trust me, so do we!!
~ Allton then emphatically looks at the camera with eyes of steel, throwing the microphone to the floor so hard that it could have broken. Tank and Vincenzo nod in agreement. ~
Vincenzo: You’re damn fuckin’ right, Boss!
~ Suddenly, “This Time It’s Different” by Evans Blue starts to play. The crowd immediately begins to boo heavily as Peter “The Janitor” Vaughn and Jonathan “Pryde” Barrows walk out from the house opposite from the Family. Neither are wearing their masks at the moment, allowing us to see the smirk on Barrows’ face and the anger fueling Vaughn. ~
Jonathan Barrows: Allton, Allton, Allton… Dystopia is your show, huh? That’s like saying the trash can outside my condo is mine. You want this dumpster fire? It’s all yours.
~ The crowd looks ready to jump over and attack Barrows at any second, furious at the disrespect being shown to the Yard. Vaughn takes the mic from his new mentor, glaring at Allton. ~
Peter Vaughn: So this is the man you all want to cheer for? The freak who eats children? That’s a hero to the people now? You fans make me sick!
~Somehow, the boos manage to get even louder, but Vaughn completely ignores them. ~
Peter Vaughn: As for you, Allton, I’m sorry you took your beating as an insult to you, last Dystopia. The fact is, it had nothing to do with you. You just happened to be there, when Jonathan and I made our statement. You were… irrelevant. We were just here to destroy a blight in the world of pro wrestling. Outsiders has outlived its usefulness. It’s a pointless dream from a hapless man, and last time, we did our best to remove it from existence. Maybe we’ll just have to try again, until the message gets across.
~ Lord Allton and the Family look around at each other, then start daring Vaughn & Barrows to try it. The crowd gives some cheers, wanting to see The Family get their revenge. But Vaughn doesn’t make a move, shaking his head. ~
Peter Vaughn: As for you, Allton, you think you can ‘rise’ to the challenge and take this title from me? There have been a lot of people who thought they were better than me, who have paid for their ignorance. In your own words… ask The Uber Man. Ask Matt Meyhu. Ask. Mike. Zybala.
~ The cameras swivel to show Zybala’s face, which has a combination of disappointment and frustration across it. Allton signals to the boys nearby, who get him a fresh mic. ~
Lord Allton: Everyone loves Pennywise really! IT was one of the biggest grossing movies of 2017!
~ The people cheer. ~
Allton: If that was your best Vaughn, at an attempt at destroying Outsiders… Then beating you for the World Title is a cinch! After all, you failed, didn’t you?! You talk pretty big from over there, Vaughn. So what is it? Now you’re the Craze Champion of Online Championship Wrestling, the place where you made your face is insignificant now?
~ Allton begins to get more irate, pacing the ring back and forth like a wolf on the hunt, his eyes NEVER leaving Vaughn and Barrows. ~
Allton: I have been making Outsiders more and more legitimate EVERY week! And when - not if - WHEN I become Outsiders Champion, I will have accomplished my goal! Granted, I was supposed to beat the Uber-Man for it but you got in the way of that. But quite frankly I could care less who I beat for it. And right now YOU’RE at the top of the Family’s SHIT LIST! The trouble is Petey you won’t be Craze champ forever and then you’ll come crawling back, and when you do, I’ll be right here, waiting for you!!
~ Lord Allton smirks, and then Lord Allton & The Family start to climb out of the ring, heading in the direction of Barrows & Vaughn. The crowd is ready to see some bloodshed, as Vaughn looks ready to fight. But Barrows puts out an arm, calmly pushing Vaughn backwards, as he waves behind him. A group of muscle men suddenly march out, forming a human wall in front of the two. They look vaguely familiar to some, but only because of the t-shirts they’re wearing, which read “GCWA Security”. Allton & The Family get to the guards, staring them down. ~
Jonathan Barrows: You guys might recognize the gentlemen still on my payroll. Don’t worry, they’re not contracted to start violence. They’re just here to follow my orders. We’ll see you boys another time. C’mon, Peter.
~ Vaughn reluctantly comes after Barrows as they leave the area, with The Family looking ready for a brawl against the former security guards of the GCWA. ~
Vincenzo: RUN WHILE YOU CAN YOU LITTLE BITCHES! WE’RE COMING FOR YOU!
~ The Family get in close to the security guards and Vincenzo and Tank get ready to fight. Allton however holds back and puts his hands on their chests making them back down. ~
Allton: It’s fine boys. It’s fine. We’re not unreasonable. Let’s give these fine security guards one chance to back down. They’re only doing their jobs after all.
~ Allton turns to the security guards. ~
Allton: I suggest you take it. I won’t be so obliging a second time.
~ Suddenly Jonathan Barrows’ voice is heard, as he still has his mic with him. You can also hear sounds of car doors slamming, likely as Barrows & Vaughn are about to leave. ~
Barrows: I love hearing “Lord” Allton trying to sound like a badass. He’s, what, 5’6”?
Peter Vaughn: You know what? I’m bored now. GCWA Security? Jonathan and I are safe now, so feel free to implement… Order 66.
~ The crowd collectively boo as the security force moves in and overwhelms the Family. Tank and Vincenzo do their best to hold them off with boots and punches and Lord Allton punches a few with his brass knuckles but even that isn’t enough and soon the Family are once again thrown into the ring and brought down and out. That is until…..
A huge bearded man comes flying out of the house and gets into the ring! ~
Dean: Who’s this Sucka?
Zybala: It’s Frankie Larossia! Vincenzo’s older brother! His cooking back in New York is A-MAZING! Look at this!
~ Frankie is a one man wrecking crew with chokeslams and big boots a-plenty to the security guards as the crowd go ape-shit! He flings each guard over the rope much to the crowd’s delight! Frankie then helps each member of the Family up, and allows Lord Allton to lean on him. Tank picks up another microphone and hands it to Allton, who pants heavily. ~
Allton: *Pant* Is… that....all your boys have, Vaughn and Barrows? Meet the Family’s INSURANCE POLICY! Francisco ‘Frankie’ Larossia! And yeah, if that name sounds familiar, he’s Vincenzo’s older brother! I knew you’d try something like this Vaughn….so I asked Frankie to fly down from New York and watch our backs!! I may be small in height, Barrows but my mind is unmatched! And I’ve just proved that tonight! The Family has punked both of you out! And this! This is just the beginning, Vaughn! You’ve pissed the Larossias off - bad move. You’ve pissed Tank off - an even stupider move. But worst of all, you’ve pissed ME off! May whichever God you pray to, help you for that!!
~ Allton turns his head to stare up at Frankie who at 7’5 is even bigger than Tank. ~
Allton: Frankie! Consider this your official reinstatement!
Zybala: Good God! It looks like the Family has grown in number!
Dean: And what a number! Look at the size of this sucka!
~ Zybala then mouths to Allton that Barrows and Vaughn have gone from the area. ~
Allton: **Pant**. He what? They have? Hmph fine.
Vincenzo: Little bitches, just like I said.
~ Vincenzo then goes into the house, finding Bill to bring out Allton’s chair. Then each member of the Family helps Allton into his chair. The crowd start up a ‘Bill’ chant much to the amusement of the Family and even Bill himself. Bill raises his hands. ~
Allton: You bloody ham.
~ The Family go back into the house as Mitch and Belvedere make their way to the ring. As much as the fans enjoyed that opening part, they came here for action! And to day drink. We don't judge in The Yard. Actually, go grab yourself something to drink too. We'll wait for you…….
There you go. Now just sit back, relax, and let's get this show started! ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen!! Welcome back to another rousing episode of Dystopia! The following match is your opening match of the evening and it's scheduled for…... One Fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Introducing first, He resides from The Vista View Trailer Park, weighing in at, his words, "200 pounds of keeping a bitch in check", "Wifebeater' Billy Thomas.
~ "Keep Your Pimp Hand Strong '' plays over the speakers as Billy walks out to the boos of the fans. He makes his way to the ring, just being a real piece of shit; swearing at everyone and flipping off children. The Yardies boo even harder when Billy gets in the ring and grabs his crotch, yelling at the fans to "eat him." His music stops and Belvedere continues… ~
Belvedere: From THE COURT OF LAW...he is...THE JUDGE
~The hardcore PEOPLE’S COURT THEME plays. THE JUDGE marches to the ring, toting all his weapons. The Yardies cheer him on because they are law-abiding citizens. Those with unpaid parking tickets quickly leave to go pay them so as not to face this man's justice-fueled wrath. When THE JUDGE gets into the ring, he is advised by Mitch (rather than told because nobody tells THE JUDGE shit) to leave them outside the ring. Being a fair man, he follows the rules. He steps into the ring and eyes his competitor. Belvedere leaves the ring as Mitch calls for the bell. ~
Zybala: I've been waiting for this moment ever since THE JUDGE agreed to bring justice to The Yard!
Dean: Billy looks like he's about to shit his pants. Damn, THE JUDGE is fucking huge!
~ Hearing the foul language, THE JUDGE grabs his gavel and throws it at Dean like it's Mjölnir! Dean ducks as the gavel as it embeds into the house! THE JUDGE yells at Dean about swearing. Dean apologizes profusely and THE JUDGE accepts it. He then turns his attention back to Billy who runs up and kicks THE JUDGE right between the legs!! Mitch gets ready to call for the bell to disqualify Billy when THE JUDGE, who is showing no signs of being affected by the kick whatsoever, walks over to his corner and grabs his book. He proceeds to hurl it at Billy, sending him flying from the ring and landing in front of the front row. THE JUDGE berates Billy for using an illegal move. The fans cheer the action as Mitch calls for the bell, disqualifying both men. ~
Belvedere: Due to a double disqualification, this match has been ruled a no contest.
~ THE JUDGE leaves the ring after doling out his brand of justice. He literally jumps over the ropes and leaves a big divot in the grass when he lands. He goes to pick up his book from Billy's motionless body, then pulls his gavel out from the house, giving Dean a stern eye look. As THE JUDGE walks out of The Yard, Belvedere enters the ring holding an envelope. A buzz goes through the crowd. Could this be the Hall of Fame induction?? Zybala and Dean look excited as well. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, during this time, it is my extreme pleasure to announce the very first inductee for the Outsiders Championship Wrestling Hall of Fame!!
~ The Yardies let out a huge cheer and a small "Hall of Fame" chant. When the chant dies down, Belvedere starts to talk again but is cut off when someone starts shouting. ~
Random Fan: VOTE PRYDE OFF THE ISLAND!!!
~ The crowd laughs and Zybala seconds the motion. Belvedere just shakes his head as he opens the envelope. He pulls out the paper and reads it. ~
Belvedere: The very first inductee is one of the original Outsiders. He was in the first World Championship match; a title he would go on to win three times and hold the record for the longest title reign! Ladies and gentlemen, the first Outsider's Hall of Famer is none other than Peter Vaughn!!!
~ The fans boo as "Through The Night" is played on YouTube. Zybala refuses to recognize any other theme for Vaughn in The Yard! The camera switches to the parking lot, where Peter Vaughn is now coming out of a private van, which was surrounded by GCWA Security. Jonathan Barrows steps up next to him, whispering about being cautious, but Vaughn pushes past him, leaving the security behind as he heads towards the ring.~
Dean: The sucka’s actually going to come out here!
Zybala: Why wouldn’t he? It’s a big honor! About time Vaughn got some recognition for his hard work.
Dean: He did attack us and beat you. How are you so chill?
Zybala: Two reasons. I'm a professional and day drinking.
~Vaughn slides into the ring, walking over to Belvedere, looking ready to believe that it’s a trick. But Belvedere hands him what looks to be a plaque, probably created at Hobby Lobby or one of those craft stores. (It was. Don't be hating. It was made with love.) Vaughn stares at it, a smile finally breaking through on his face. He doesn’t seem to notice the boos that are still coming his way, as he takes the mic from Belvedere, who makes a quick exit.~
Peter Vaughn: I don’t… I don’t know what to say… Mike… you kept your word!
~Vaughn looks out at Zybala, who appears to be proudly smiling, even after everything that’s happened lately. Vaughn nods to him, before raising the plaque over his head to more boos. We see Barrows near the van, possibly the only person applauding.~
Peter Vaughn: I didn’t expect this to happen. I thought they’d rig the ballots. But they actually did what was right. They gave me what I deserve. They made me… a Hall of Famer!
~Vaughn laughs, looking a little unstable as he does so. It’s almost like the old Janitor is showing through a few cracks, but the dangerous Vaughn is still there as well, making a stark contrast going across Vaughn’s face.~
Dean: Get ready to run.
Zybala: Just enjoy the moment!
Peter Vaughn: I’d lost faith in Outsiders. I thought that it should be put down, murdered, and ended in one fiery explosion. But maybe… maybe there’s still…
~Vaughn is suddenly cut off, as Voltaire’s “When You’re Evil” seems to be playing from the crowd. It’s coming through multiple people’s phones as they hold them up, adding an echo effect. Vaughn looks around, confused, as Lord Allton wheels out with Tank and the Thomas’s behind him from within the crowd. The people begin to cheer at the sight of a smiling Lord Allton. Allton is dressed in a fine navy blue suit and shakes a few nearby fans' hands. Dylan and Lissandra look furious but merely stare at Vaughn, letting Allton talk.~
Allton: Good evening ladies and gentlemen…...we are tonight’s ENTERTAINMENT!
~ A few fans chuckle at the Dark Knight and Joker reference as Lord Allton claps his hands sarcastically slowly. ~
Allton: Peter Vaughn, everybody…
~ The crowd boo and Allton turns his attention to the janitor. ~
Allton: First and foremost, Mr. Vaughn… congratulations. Sincerely… I mean, technically it should have been yours truly but…. Never mind. Secondly… you may notice that Vincenzo isn’t with us tonight.
Dylan: You fucking attacked him, you bastard!
~ Allton holds up a hand to quieten Dylan down… ~
Allton: Quite. But in a moment. In a moment. Now… Mr. Vaughn, you are boring these good people to tears! They didn’t come here to hear your drone on and on and on about how great you are! Or how you -wrongly - feel you’ve been wronged here.
Lissandra: I kept my word! Dylan kept his! I -
~ Allton holds up another hand to quieten Lissandra. ~
Allton: Please Lissie… please. These good people came to see some good old fashioned Outsiders VIOLENCE! AM I RIGHT?!!
~ The crowd cheers and begins an ‘Allton’ chant but Allton shakes his head and chants ‘VI-O-LENCE! VI-O-LENCE!’ as Tank pumps his arm in the air following the rhythm. The crowd catches on and chants along. Lord Allton looks towards Tank and Dylan over his shoulder with a smirk and shrug. ~
Allton: YOU HEARD ‘EM BOYS! FOR VINCENZO!
~ Allton, Tank and Dylan then charge headstrong towards Vaughn as the crowd cheers on. The cheers falter slightly, though, as Jonathan Barrows appears from the other side of the Yard, leading the GCWA Security Guards out. ~
Jonathan Barrows: Protect Vaughn!!
~ The security members run into the fray, trying to stop the wrestlers. It doesn’t go so well, as Tank is throwing guards everywhere, while Allton & Dylan are motivated to chop their way through. Vaughn, rather than leaving the ring, is yelling out towards Zybala, apparently screaming something about being promised safety. ~
Zybala: Safety? What are you talking about? This is Outsiders Wrestling! All I did was invite you!
Dean: I think Vaughn was expecting some protection by getting the Hall of Fame award.
Zybala: I don’t know what Barrows has been telling him, but he should know better! I taught him to always expect to be attacked. Barrows is turning him soft.
~ Vaughn wants to yell at Zybala some more, but he senses someone coming into the ring. He turns, as Dylan Thomas is standing there! Vaughn goes to hit him with the plaque, but Thomas ducks under it, then turns, grabbing a spinning Vaughn and dropping him with the Perfect Finisher!! ~
Dean: What a move!
Zybala: If Thomas hits that at Under The Lights, we might have a new Craze Champion!
Dean: And if Allton gets his hands on Vaughn, the Outsiders Title might find a new home too, sucka!
Zybala: Ahh dammit… this is getting out of control… even if he did bring this on himself...
~ Zybala gets up as Allton goes into the ring, as Tank is keeping the rest of the security guards down. He sizes up the recovering Vaughn, setting himself for the Legendary, Awesome, Gorgeous Punch!! But Zybala is there, grabbing Vaughn by the legs and yanking him out of the ring!! Vaughn looks to see who pulled him to safety as Allton looks down, upset at missing his chance to knock Vaughn out as Barrows quickly pushes Zybala out of the way. He grabs Vaughn and quickly hightails it, with Vaughn’s arm draped over his shoulder. Vaughn notices Zybala there looking concerned. The crowd is cheering on Dylan, Allton, and Tank, loving what they’ve seen. We see Barrows dragging Vaughn out, with Vaughn looking back once more… to see that Lord Allton has his Hall of Fame plaque. Zybala goes back to the table. ~
Zybala: Ummm, that one isn't actually yours, Lord Allton. Maybe you'll get it next time.
~ Allton shrugs his shoulders and nods, accepting Zybala’s fact. ~
Allton: Quite right, Mr. Zybala. Quite right. Ah well….
~ Allton then smiles, shows the plaque to everyone, then tosses it into the crowd! A couple of lucky fans fight over it, as Vaughn and Barrows are shown again, with Vaughn looking extremely upset. He’s pointing at Allton & Dylan, screaming that they’re going to pay for this, looking like he wants to head back no matter the odds. Barrows, the sane one, keeps Vaughn back, managing to get him towards the waiting van where a few security guards who haven’t had the crap beaten out of them are waiting. ~
Allton: Mr. Vaughn!!! Where the hell do you think you’re going? The fun’s only just beginning!!!
Dylan: You’re a fucking DEAD MAN VAUGHN! DEAD!
~ The Yardies cheer The Family and Dylan Thomas (never thought I would write those words together) as they leave the ring. The group high five fans on their way back to the house. The rest of the GCWA security finally recover enough to get up and leave The Yard. With the chaos gone, Belvedere gets in the ring to announce the next match. ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
YARDIES: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first... She calls Key West, Florida her home. She is "The One Armed Goddess" Cori Haim!!!
~ Zybala cues up the trusty YouTube and plays "Don't You (Forget About Me) and then stands up with one fist in the air. A few members of the crowd do this as well, as is tradition. Cori Haim walks into the yard to the cheers of the Yardies. She has a 40 in her hand and is chugging away as she stumbles her way to the yard. Cori climbs in the ring as the music stops. She finishes her booze and lets out a loud belch. She tosses the bottle onto the grass as a fan tosses her another beer. She starts drinking as Belvedere looks disgusted, but continues. ~
Belvedere: And her opponent….. hails from his secret lair in Rancho Cucamonga, California. Weighing 190 pounds of justice, he is the Outsiders Grand Slam Champion!!! This is The UUUUUUUUUUUUUBER-MAN!!
~ "Hero" by Nickleback hits the speakers and The Yard is filled with deafening cheers as Uber-Man steps out of the house! He's in his usual costume with the Grand Slam belt over his shoulder. He makes his way down the ramp to a chorus of "UBER-MAN'' chants. He is taken aback by this love and looks misty eyed. Uber is high-fiving everyone he can on his way to the ring. Uber-Man reaches the ring and climbs up on the apron before stepping in through the ropes. He strikes a series of heroic poses in the ring as the music dies down. Belvedere takes the title with him as he leaves the ring as Mitch checks both wrestlers before starting the match. ~
Zybala: Big stakes in this one partner. Uber-Man is looking to win so he could get back in the world title picture, and Corey needs a win because she hasn't won in god-knows-how-long.
Dean: True that. Whoever wins would definitely be in a title scene. Plus, Cori could use a win heading into Ladies Night.
~ The two opponents circle each other, looking for an opening. Uber-Man then notices Cori still has a beer in her only hand. Uber starts complaining to Mitch as Cori ignores both men and drinks more. Suddenly, a loud rage-filled yell comes from the house as a roar can be heard from outside of the yard!! Zybala and Dean look confused. The Yardies cheer as the wooden fence behind the bleachers explodes into splinters as The Squashness Monster menacingly stomps into The Yard. THE JUDGE also storms out of the house. ~
Zybala: IT'S THE SQUASH-NESS MONSTER!!!
Dean: AND THE JUDGE! What is he doing out here??
~ The fans laugh and cheer as the creature continues to menacingly stomps towards the ring; as does THE JUDGE. Both Uber and Cori know what's coming; both falling prey to the monster before. THE JUDGE adds a new wrinkle though. When Squash-ness gets to the edge of the outside of the ring, Cori turns to run from The Squashness Monster, only to run into THE JUDGE! He yells at her about drinking while working as he boots her in the face, laying her out. Uber-Man watches this in shock, allowing The Monster to get behind Uber-Man! The creature lifts Uber over it's head and throws him out of the ring! The Monster then looks at THE JUDGE and they share a nod of respect. They both leave the ring; THE JUDGE heading to the house and The Squashness Monster heading in the opposite direction. It stomps through The Yard, kicks another hole in the fence and leaves. ~
Dean: That was… Something… You'd think these suckas would learn by now to do a promo.
Zybala: Who knows what people expect to happen. Should we do Intermission??
Dean: Sure. Yo Emilio! Slap a burger in the grill for me!
INTERMISSION!!
~ We come back from intermission to see The Yardies making their way back to their seats. Welsh has even more snacks in front of him, not sure what to do with so many tasty treats now that a certain nurse isn't stealing them from him. Belvedere gets in the ring and the crowd quiets down. ~
Belvedere: The following match is your main event of the evening. It is also scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first….His weight and height are irrelevant… he hails from Parts Unknown…. He is everyone's favorite day of the week….. This is SATURDAY!!!!
~ "Saturday" by Elton John hits the speakers. Someone in a white full bodysuit comes out wearing a dirty college football jersey and carrying a 12 pack.Their face is covered by the bodysuit, though we can tell they have been trying to drink beer through the suit. Saturday is followed by Sunday. Both men get booed the whole way to the ring. The music stops and Belvedere continues….~
Belvedere: Y su contrincante... pesando 200 libras exactas... Él es uno de los campeones mundiales en parejas de OCW... VICTOR MALVADO!
– Suddenly, The Mariachi Band starts to play "Si Señor" by Control Machete. The Malvado Brothers jump out of the house and onto the ramp. They look appreciatively at The Mariachi Band as they play. The Brothers make their way to the ring, one sliding under the bottom rope while the other leaps over the top rope. They each go to a corner jumping onto the second turnbuckle and getting The Yardies pumped up! The Band stops playing as Hector leaves the ring and stares down Sunday, daring him to interfere. Mitch checks both Victor and Saturday and calls for the bell! Before the two can lock up, the crowd breaks into a "CERO ENGLISH!" chant, which pumps up both brothers. ~
Zybala: Revenge time for the tag champs. At least for Victor.
Dean: True enough. Saturday attacked both Malvados last Dystopia, and Victor wants vengeance!
~ Hector is playing it up with the crowd as he and Victor both take up the chant. Saturday, seeing an opportunity, runs up behind Victor and hits him with a surprise roll up! Not being Barry, Saturday doesn't even get a one count as Victor kicks out almost immediately. Both wrestlers get up and Victor immediately boots Saturday in the gut and hooks him for a Suplex. Victor lifts up his opponent and drops him on his back as The Yardies shout "UNO!" Still holding on to Saturday, Victor rolls on the mat, bringing him and Saturday back to a standing position and lifts the last day of the week again. Again Saturday crashes to the mat to a shout of "DOS!" Once more, Victor drags up Saturday and lifts him for a third Suplex! He drops The Weekend member to the mat as the fans shout "TRES!" Victor jumps up to his feet and soaks in the cheers from The Yardies. ~
Dean: This is looking a lot like the match Hector had with Sunday….
Zybala: Maybe Victor saw his brother's tactics were successful, so he decided to use them?
Dean: Sounds like laziness to me, sucka…
Zybala: Pfft, people know what to expect when they decide to watch us.
~ As Victor panders to the crowd, Saturday slowly gets to his feet. Hector starts yelling at his brother but Victor isn't paying attention. He tries to get a "Cero English" chant started but it's cut off when Saturday punches him in the back of the head; sending Victor stumbling out of the ring! The fans boo as Saturday mocks Victor's posing while Hector checks on his brother. He then looks at Mitch, whose attention is on lighting a blunt now that he's sure THE JUDGE has left. Hector then shoves Victor under the ring to recover and slides in to face Saturday! The fans cheer the switcharoo as Hector starts laying into Saturday with lefts and rights! Sunday tries to tell Mitch what happened, but the ref yells at him for saying "all Hispanics look alike!" and threatens to eject him from ringside!
Hector punches Saturday into a corner and climbs up on the second rope. He holds a fist high and brings it down on Saturday's dome piece. The fans start counting the punches in Spanish but boo after "TRES!" as Saturday manages to slip out and shoves Hector over the top rope! Hector drops to the grass and a now recovered Victor goes to check on him. Mitch is looking at the pair, so Victor picks up his brother, hugs him, and spins around with him a few times. Victor then slides back into the ring. Mitch stops him. ~
Mitch: Woah amigo! You Victor?
Victor: Si, Señor Mitch.
~ Mitch squints at Victor, shrugs, and allows it. Sunday leaps on the mat, yelling that they switched again. Mitch walks over and starts yelling at Sunday about being racist! Hector slides in the ring and kicks Saturday in the junk! He and Victor then set him up for a Suplex! They lift him up and hold him. ~
Zybala: It looks like with some Twin Magic, Victor is gonna make it a clean sweep against The Weekend…
Dean: ROMPE CABEZA!!!!
~ The Brothers drop Saturday in his head with the double brain buster! Saturday is out cold on the mat. Victor goes for the cover as Hector tries to leave the ring, but he is tackled through the rope by Sunday; who shoves his way past Mitch! The ref is about to yell at him more when he notices the pin attempt. He drops in position and makes the count. ~
Mitch: Uno…….Dos……...TRES!!!
Belvedere: Here is your winner…..VICTOR MALVADO!!
~ Mitch counts to three and calls for the bell. Victor hops to his feet to celebrate when he sees his brother fight with Saturday. He rushes out of the ring to give Hector a hand. ~
Zybala: At least we had one winner tonight… even if they used some shady tactics…
Dean: Shady nothing, sucka. The win column doesn't have asterisks. A win is a win.
Zybala: True enough partner. Though it looks like The champs aren't done with Sunday!
~ The brothers are now fighting Sunday two on one! The Last Day of the Week tries to put up a fight but the numbers are too much for him. Saturday drags himself out of the ring and makes his way over to the fight, but he's still weakened from the brain buster. The Brothers toss Sunday aside as they start to beat down Saturday. The Weekend is not having a good time. When they feel like they've done enough damage, The Malvado's walk out of The Yard to the cheers of the fans. ~
Dean: Two Dystopias and two straight losses for The Weekend. Maybe they better quit now before the champs do some serious damage.
Zybala: Screw that! We're gonna have a contract signing on the next Dystopia between the four for a tag title match!
Dean: But The Weekend keeps losing…
Zybala: Dude, we need some other storylines that don't involve Allton…
Dean: Well a contract signing it is! But that will have to wait until after LADIES NIGHT!!!! The Z-Man and I will have the show off, but we'll be in the crowd as the Ladies of The Yard take over! Outsiders trendsetting before OCW once again, sucka!!
Zybala: Can't wait for that special night. Until then, for Dean, I'm Mike Zybala saying Good Fight Good Night!