BEST OF OUTSIDERS!

[zybala]

* We open up to a shot of Zybala sitting in The Yard. He's behind the announcers fridge. *


Zybala: Hello everyone. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving Thursday. I also hope you're having a good, as an over "woke" blonde college bimbo once said to me, "African American Friday." Because of the holidays over here in the States, GCWA and Outsiders are giving our respective staff and wrestlers a much deserved vacation. Though, we understand that you fans need your fix. So allow me to present to you, The Best of Outsiders! This show will consist of our best matches and greatest moments for your viewing pleasure. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!


* We fade away from Zybala and cut to footage from our very first match! *

Jam G vs. The Gimp

~Dean pulls out an old, shitty laptop. He pulls up YOUTUBE and performs a search. He presses play on a video. Suddenly, an illegally uploaded version of “No one knows” by Queens of The Stone Age. Dean tries to look surprised~


President: Why, Mike…is that…could that be…JUST ANOTHER MASKED GUY’S THEME?

Zybala: (playing along) My God! I think it is! We will find out shortly.


~The side, wooden gate swings open and JAM G leaps into view. He doesn’t get much height. He lands on both feet and looks around, mysteriously. The crowd chants “JAM G!” JAM G rushes toward the ring and slides in. He pops to his feet and continues to look around mysteriously~


President Dean: Just Another Masked Guy…who, we will come to know as JAM G

Zybala: He is so mysterious!!!


~Dean performs another youtube search. He hits play. OH YEA BROTHER sounds out. Dean rushes to fast forward. Suddenly the opening chords to Real American by Rick Derringer sound out. Dean leans back, sighing with relief~


President Dean: Sorry about that, folks…must have just some overzealous fan!

Zybala: Some old, orange, racist comment making fan.....


~The Gimp steps out from behind the same gate. He’s got one leg but a full head of hair. He sings the lyrics to his song while approaching the ring. He climbs in. Dean searches “Bell” on youtube. He clicks play. A bell rings~


President Dean: And we are underway here on

Mike Zybala: We have no ref!

President Dean: Damnit


~Dean looks around. One of the fans rushes toward the ring, sliding in with his beer secured firmly within the grip of his right hand. None of it spills. This man is a pro. He pops to his feet~


President Dean: There we go! All set!

Zybala: Unlike Smith of the other OCW announce team, this man knows how to respect an alcoholic beverage! Let the action commence!!


~JAM G rushes at The Gimp. He leaps into the air. The Gimp catches him but falls to one knee while doing so. He struggles to his feet. He yells out “MURICA!” He goes for a slam but drops JAM G on his head. The crowd winces~


President Dean: Yikes…a MICHINOKU DRIVER, EVERYBODY!

Zybala: Didn't you hear Gimp? That was The 'Murica Driver!! But Jam G is shrugging it off! What spirit!


~JAM G stumbles to his feet. He runs into the ref. He spots the Pabst and asks for a sip. The ref says no. He turns around…The Gimp goes for a big boot but his fake leg gives out! He falls to the mat, reaching for the prosthetic~


President Dean: And there is the danger of wrestling with only one leg.

Zybala: But you still have to admire him attempting a big boot despite the handicap.


~JAM G fires up! The crowd claps along to a “JAM G” chant. JAM G heads for the corner. He tries to climb but finds the task nearly impossible. The Gimp, meanwhile, removes his prosthetic leg~


President Dean: The Gimp is going to gimp it for the rest of the match, apparently. Prosthetic leg be damned!

Zybala: He's showing more heart than a certain former world champion whose name sounds like Mayo!!


~Jam G rushes over…he spots The Gimp removing his leg. He tries to rip the leg from The Gimp. The Gimp yanks it away, displaying his superior strength. Jam G throws a kick at The Gimp’s head. The Gimp catches Jam G’s leg and holds on. Jam G hops around…The Gimp yells “HOW DOES IT FEEL?”~


President Dean: JAM G finding out what life as a gimp feels like!

Zybala: Would you say Gimp now has a "leg up" on the competition?


~Jam G tries an enziguri but doesn’t quite get his leg up all the way. He lands on the mat, hard. The Gimp stands with his prosthetic leg in his hands. He has tremendous balance on one leg. He starts to beat Jam G with his leg~


President Dean: Well this is certainly unique! It appears as though our referee…Ref 1 is going to allow it!

Zybala: Technically, Gimp is just stomping Jam G. The prosthetic started out as his leg so maybe the ref is considering this a modified version of stomping a missile in someone?


~The Gimp pulls JAM G up and hooks him for a rock bottom. He rubs the bottom of his fake foot into JAM G’s face. He then whips JAM G down with the End of Days! He makes the cover~


1!

2!

3!!!


~The fifteen people go wild! PBR cans fly through the air~


President Dean: My goodness what a match! This Gimp guy is a star in the making!

Zybala: He did put on a good showing so far, but we still have a full roster to see in action. But if they want to climb the ladder to the top, they'll have to watch out for Gimp!



* We cut back to Zybala in The Yard. *

Zybala: What a way to start off our highlights and our Fed, and it only got better. Next, I want to take you back to our very first title match. We didn't know it at the theme, but we were witnessing the birth of an epic rivalry between two men who always gave it their all in the ring. Let's go back to the first time where The Uber-Man met Peter Vaughn…

Peter Vaughn versus The Uber-Man

(Inaugural World Champion Match)

Annie: The following match is scheduled for one fall and it is your main event of the evening!


~The fans cheer as Dean stands up holding the outsiders title.~


Dean: Screw it! I am so moved by both these suckas tragic tales, the winner will be the first Outsiders Championship Wrestling CHAMPION!!


~The fans cheer louder and we hear a "FUCK YES!" coming from the driveway area.~


Annie: Introducing first, hailing from somewhere because he didn't fill out the resumé completely. He looks about 180 pounds. He is here to clean up the competition, he is "The Janitor" Peter Vaughn!!!


~Annie points at the driveway as we see Dean scramble through papers. He looks at Zybala who shrugs. Dean looks at the driveway.~


Dean: Yo Sucka!!! What's your theme song???

Vaughn: (off camera) I don't know! Didn't think of one! Just pick something!


~Zybala smiles and grabs the laptop. After a bit of typing a J-rock (Japanese rock) beat sounds over the speakers. We then see The Janitor coming out in his uniform, think the janitor from Scrubs uniform. He comes out with his trusty mop and bobs his head to the music. There is a mixture of cheers and boos from the fans as Vaughn gets to the ring and the music stops. He then looks at Zybala.~


Vaughn: That was catchy. What was that?

Zybala: Through The Night. The theme song from Outlaw Star.

Vaughn: Neat.

Annie: and his opponent! His secret lair is in Rancho Cucamonga, California. Weighing at 190 pounds of justice, this is The Uber Man!!


~"Hero" by Nickleback plays as the fans boo loudly. The Uber Man comes out in his hero costume and holds his "mop of justice" looking distressed at the boos. Zybala notices this and changes the song quickly to "Hero" by Skillet. The rambunctious backyard crowd cheers as not many folks like Nickleback. Uber Man shrugs and assumes a superhero pose before going to the ring.~


Dean: Some brief hostility from the Outsider faithful.

Zybala: Nickleback can cause that in people. It's a scientific phenomenon.

Dean: Whatever it was, that doesn't matter. Both custodians are face to face in the ring and they both look heated!


~Dean is right! Vaughn and Uber Man are yelling at each other holding up their respective mops, apparently calling one another a copycat. Suddenly, Uber Man pushes Vaughn who retaliates with a push of his own. Uber Man then takes a wild swing with his mop which Vaughn ducks, while swinging his broom at Uber Man's legs, which he hops over. They keep swinging and dodging, and eventually it becomes a mop/sword fight! The fans are loving the mop battle as Zybala plays Star Wars battle music over the speakers. Vaughn gets knocked off balance and Uber Man sees his chance. Using all his strength, he takes a mighty swing, but Vaughn quickly regains his footing and swings his mop with janitorial strength! Both mop handles collide and explode with a loud crack and a burst of wood and splinters. The Yardies are loving it, with cheers and chants of "This Is Awesome!"~


Zybala: Only in Outsiders will you fans see such a battle!!!

Dean: You got that right sucka!! Both of these men really want to be our first champion and will do anything it takes!!


~Vaughn and Uber Man look at their shattered brooms and then at each other. You can see the anger in their eyes. They quickly start throwing punches and slaps and forearms at each other, not caring what tactic they use, as long as they cause the other pain! Uber Man swings wildly with a right and misses; his momentum spinning him so his back is to Vaughn.

Vaughn quickly capitalizes and delivers a forearm to Uber Man's back then lifts him around the waist. He lifts up Uber Man and drops him on his knee for an atomic drop! Vaughn doesn't let go and ducks his head under Uber's arm and delivers a textbook back drop and quickly goes for the pin.~


Mitch: One..... Two.... No!!!


~The Uber Man kicks out at two. Vaughn is clearly upset and complains to Mitch. He turns back to his opponent and shoves Uber Man's face in the mat and rubs it back and forth against the surface.~


Zybala: And there is the dreaded Scrub from The Janitor!

Dean: He's trying to clean the mat with his opponent's face!


~Vaughn picks up Uber and throws him into the ropes, but Uber holds on to the ropes to stop himself. Vaughn then charges at Uber Man, who ducks and Vaughn goes sailing through the ropes and crashes to the grass outside of the ring. Uber Man starts clapping to try to get the Yardies behind him, a few clap which is enough to motivate the masked hero. Uber Man runs to the opposite ropes and almost falls over them as Dean clearly did not spend top dollar on this ring. It has spirit, but not much else. This doesn't fluster Uber Man, who regains his composure and charges to the other ropes and attempts to dive over the top. His foot snags the top rope and uses his momentum and Uber Man clumsily crashes right on top of Vaughn! Despite the mess up, the fans still cheer!~


Dean: That hero truly can fly! Throwing caution to the wind, The Uber Man sails over the top and takes out his opponent!

Zybala: At what cost though? Both men are down!

Dean: (to Zybala on the down low, but the mic still amplifies it) Thanks for not mentioning the ropes fucking up.

Zybala: (whispers and gives fist bump) I got you sucka.


~The crowd laughs as the two announcers thought they were slick. Back to the action! Uber Man and Vaughn slowly get back to their feet as the crowd chants both "Let's Go Peter" and "Let's Go Uber!" The two trade blows outside of the ring as Mitch just let's it go. He doesn't want this match to end in a count out. Uber gets the advantage and grabs Vaughn's head and slams it on the canvas. Vaughn is dazed and gets rolled into the ring by Uber Man, who then climbs to the mat and grabs the top rope and panders to the crowd.~


Dean: What could the superhero be planning here??

Zybala: I don't know, but it can't be anything good for Vaughn.

Uber Man: FOR JUSTICE!!


~Uber Man then leans back and tries to use the ropes to propel himself forward but since this is a yard ring, no such luck. He tries to flip over anyways and lands awkwardly on his left shoulder on top of Vaughn. He then goes for the cover.~


Mitch: Uno.... Dos...... NO!!!!


~It's Vaughn's turn to kick out. Unlike Vaughn, Uber Man stays on the attack. He stomps away a Vaughn for a while before picking h up and dropping him World's Strongest Slam style.~


Zybala: The Uber Crush!!

Dean: You just made that up!

Zybala: So???


~With Vaughn prone, Uber Man sees this as his chance. Not learning his lesson about the ropes the first two times, he ascend the corner to the top.~


Zybala: I think he's planning for The Uber Bomb! THAT one was on his application!

Dean: Yes it was. And if he hits it, we may have our first champion!!


~Uber Man tries to leap, but his feet slip out from under him because, you know, the ropes suck. He crotches himself to the groans of the crowd then falls to the mat. Vaughn recovers and gets to his feet. He spots his opponent writhing in pain and has no sympathy. Vaughn lays the boots to Uber Man, picks him up and drops him with a sloppy D.D.T. He then positions Uber Man in front of the corner and starts his climb to the top.~


Zybala: Why are people still trusting these ropes?!?!

Dean: There's nothing wrong with them!! Uber Man just had bad balance is all...


~Vaughn is on the top looking nervous as hell. He waits until he is absolutely sure he has complete balance and then leaps in the air with a near perfect shooting star!! He arcs it a little extra and shooting star leg drops the Uber Man! He goes for the cover!!!~


Mitch: One.....


Two.....



THREE!!!


Zybala: Vaughn's done it! Vaughn's done it! He hits the Plunge and gets the win and maybe some respect!!

Dean: More importantly, that sucka is the Outsider Champion!!


~Dean grabs the title and goes in the ring. He helps a stunned Vaughn to his feet and hands him the belt. The Janitor looks shocked!! Mitch grabs the hand not holding the belt and raises it to signify the victory!!~


Annie: Here is your winner and the FIRST Outsiders Championship Wrestling World Champion, The Janitor Peter Vaughn!!


~The Yardies are on their feet clapping and cheering. There are tears in Vaughn's eyes. This! This is the moment he's been waiting for his whole life. He raises the title with pride. Vaughn is basking in the moment.~


LA… LA, LA LA… Wait till I get my money right…”


~"Can't Tell Me Nothing" can be heard from down the driveway! The camera turns and we see "The Marvel" Matt Meyhu walking towards the yard followed by his brother Mike who is carrying a boombox which is playing the Kanye West song. Matt walks up to the ring and enters it. He walks up to Dean and starts whispering in his ear.~


Zybala: What the hell is this?! Meyhu is a professional not a backyard wrestler! What is doing here?!?


~Meyhu reaches into pocket and hands Dean what looks like a check and a piece of paper and hands them to Dean. Dean looks at them and his eyes go wide. He calls Mitch and Annie over and shows them the check. They are stunned. He whispers to both of them and Dean and Annie leave the ring. Meyhu is looking at a very confused Vaughn. Dean rings the cowbell and Meyhu blasts Vaughn with a M-100 superkick!! The crowd boos louder!~


Zybala: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?!?


~Meyhu then picks up the Outsiders title and raises it over his head as he puts one foot one Vaughn's chest.~


Mitch: One...two...three!!

Annie: Your winner and new OCW champ, Matt Meyhu!


~Meyhu gloats with the belt as his music still plays from the boombox as the crowd boos even louder. We can see Zybala getting into a screaming match with Dean and Annie as the camera cuts out. We fade back to current day Zybala. ~


Zybala: One of the darkest times of Outsiders right there. Thankfully, Pete was able to win the belt back and Meyhu was never seen again. Moving on, let's go to our first ever Battle Royal. The match initially started off as a one on one bit evolved into a battle royal. Let's watch.

BATTLE ROYAL

~ The fans cheer more as Dean exits the ring and hands his microphone to Annie, who gets in the ring to announce the participants of our first match.~


Annie: The first match of the evening is scheduled for one fall! Coming to the ring first, Hailing from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, weighing in at 235 pounds, this is The Gimp!!!


~"Real American" plays over the speakers without the little snafu we had the last time. The Gimp steps out into the yard, singing and strutting along to his music. He high-fives the fans as he makes his way to the ring. He enters and awaits his opponent as the music stops.~

Annie: And the person who will be facing him. She calls Key West, Florida her home. She is "The One Armed Goddess" Cori Haim!!!


~Zybala cues up the trusty YouTube and plays "Don't You (Forget About Me) and then stands up with one fist in the air. A few members of the crowd do this as well and Cori Haim walks into the yard to the cheers of the Yardies. She climbs in the ring as the music stops. Cori and Gimp give each other a handshake as a sign of respect and Mitch calls for the bell.~


Dean: This one will be interesting to say the least. On one side of the ring we have the proverbial one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

Zybala: And on the other side is a woman who Harrison Ford would blame for his wife's murder. I'm referring to the movie The Fugitive before anyone asks.

Dean: Fair enough.


~Cori and Gimp circle each other, looking for an opening. Cori goes to lock up, but Gimp is a little hesitant. Cori yells at him to come on and Gimp reluctantly tries a collar and elbow. From our vantage point, it looks like a very awkward hug, but Cori is able to turn it into a wrist lock somehow. Using her only arm, she twists Gimp's arm briefly before he uses the advantage of both his arms to reverse the hold. He then whips Cori into the ropes and she starts to run around in circles around the one legged man. The Gimp takes off his prosthetic leg and throws it at the legs of the running Cori, which trips her up and causes her to land face first on the mat. Gimp hops to grab his fake leg then uses it to start "stomping" on Cori.~


Zybala: The most unique stomp in all of wrestling ladies and gentlemen!

Dean: If it was anyone else, that would be considered an illegal weapon, but for The Gimp, it's just his leg.


~Cori tries to fend off the attack and uses the ropes to pull herself to her feet. Gimp then takes a wild swing with his leg and Cori ducks and runs. She bounces off the ropes and comes running back with a clothesline, but Gimp ducks and Cori keeps running. She bounces off the opposite ropes and leaps in the air with a spinning heel kick that catches Gimp square in the chest, knocking him off his....foot. Cori stands up and grabs Gimp's foot, flips him over and puts him in a Single Leg Boston Crab.~


Zybala: Cori with the submission!! What a move!

Dean: But is it a single leg or a regular Boston Crab given Gimp's condition?

Zybala: It's a move. I'm not here for semantics.


~As Mitch is asking if Gimp wants to quit, we can hear yelling coming from the driveway. Everyone looks towards the sound, including Mitch. Gimp starts to tap and Cori releases the hold thinking she won. However, Mitch didn't see the tap. He's looking at a screaming 12 being followed by River Echo.~


12: I said I don't want to see your snake! Living or Trouser!

Echo: I meant the python!

12: I don't care!


~Echo grabs 12 by the shoulder, probably to explain the situation, but 12 turns around and swings at Echo, who retaliates. The two start trading fists and forearms and end up in the ring. Cori yells at them to get the hell out of the ring before she gets hit with a stiff forearm from 12. Before Dean or Mitch can get any order, see "Crazy" Chuck Stacks running into the yard with pizza slices sticking out of the top of his pants. Why? Who knows, he's crazy. Following him is an angry Coquefiddler and a winded Hubert Harris.~


Coquefiddler: For sooth naive! Thou hast ruined yon pizza!!


~Stacks runs in the ring and hides behind Mitch as the two big men make their way in the ring. Everyone stops and looks confused about what the actual hell is going on. Dean stands up, looking like he has just had the best idea ever.~


Dean: You know what? Fuck the later matches. Right now, you seven Suckas are gonna have the first ever OCW battle royal!!!


~The fans cheer as everyone in the ring kinda shrugs and starts punching away at the nearest person. Stacks runs out from behind Mitch and attacks Coquefiddler. Cori and Gimp have squared off again. River and 12 are trading blows, and Harris is in the corner, trying to catch his breath.~


Dean: Now this is what I'm talking about! This is the action that Outsiders brings to the table!

Zybala: Just be careful. Legend has it that former Boardwalk Wrestling owner Michael Pettis somehow magically appears anytime there is a battle royal.

??: Shut up Zybala.


~Zybala looks to where the voice came from and we see wrestling icon Michael Pettis sitting in the crowd with a big bowl of popcorn, enjoying the action. Zybala is about to ask a question but Pettis loudly shushes him and points to the action. During this distraction, Gimp made his way to the top turnbuckle, but was caught by "Crazy" Stacks and Cori Haim who attempt to go for a double Superplex! Before they can flip Gimp over to his demise, River Echo and 12 hop on the second rope and grab Chuck and Cori from behind! The Yardies are going nuts and Pettis is losing his mind!~


Zybala: This doesn't bode well for anybody Deano! Echo and 12 are going for German Suplexes on Stack and Haim, who in turn are trying to superplex Gimp!

Dean: That's not all Zman! Here comes Harris and Coquefiddler!


~The two large men go to the corner and slide under 12 and Echo. They then powerbomb the two at the same time! 12 and Echo go crashing to the mat as they drag down Stacks and Haim; hitting them with german suplexes! And last but not least, Gimp hits the mat hard from the force of the superplex and every other move involved. The Yardies are going nuts with chants of "Holy Shit!" filling up the yard! Pettis is especially loud, as his love of battle royals is unrivaled. Coquefiddler and "Hulking" Harris start slugging away at each other for a few moments before Hubert holds up hand for a time out has he is bent over trying to catch his breath. Coquefiddler is not one to let such an opportunity slide by, and since there are no time outs in wrestling, using all his strength, manages to lift all four hundred plus pounds of "Hulking" Hubert H. Harris over the top rope! The fans boo at the elimination as Harris tries to get up, but finds himself too tired. He rolls under the ring and a moment later we can hear a gentle snoring.~


Zybala: Apparently it's nap time for the big guy.

Dean: And apparently it's run-in time for this match because here comes Guy Cashe and Billy Thomas!


~Dean is right! Cashe and Thomas rush into the yard and slide in the ring. They immediately run up to Coquefiddler, who still has his back turned from eliminating Harris and the two pieces of white trash lift up Coquefiddler and tosses him over the top rope! As Coquefiddler hits the grass, the duo starts yelling at him to mind his own business, but run like hell as the big man gets to his feet. Coquefiddler gives chase after the two.~


Dean: Definitely bad blood there. Cashe and Thomas are obviously sore that Coquefiddler stopped them for beating a woman at our last show, and have taken revenge tonight.

Zybala: We can talk about that later Dean. We have a match still going on, and more importantly the two biggest guys in the match have just been eliminated. It's anyone's game now!


~The remaining competitors are slowly getting back to their feet. Stacks is by the ropes using them to aid him in his quest to stand. 12 has also got to his feet and sees Stacks by the ropes and charges at him. Chuck sees this though and drops down, pulling the ropes with him as 12 draws near. 12 goes flying over the ropes and lands in a heap on the grass. Stacks looks at him and watches 12 slowly get to his feet. Chuck then runs to the opposite side of the ring, bounces off the ropes to get more momentum then charges back towards 12. Chuck leaps over the top rope with a suicide dive and lands right on top of 12!! 12 goes down and "Crazy" Chuck jumps up in victory before running back in the ring. Mitch stops him and explains to him the rules of the battle royal. Chuck looks surprised, then saddened. With his head hung low, Chuck makes his way out of the yard.~


Zybala: And just like that we are down to three wrestlers. Chuck thought the dive was a good idea, but apparently forgot that going over the rope is the only way you can lose this type of match.

Dean: Better luck next time for that sucka. But we better focus on the suckas in the ring. All three are back to their feet and having a stare down!


~Dean is correct. Haim, The Gimp, and Echo all circle around inside the ring, looking for an opening. Echo suddenly stops and breaks into a sermon, asking God to deliver him the strength to win and to help heal these poor, crippled souls. Gimp and Cori don't take kindly to this as they both rush the priest and throw him out of the ring and to the grass below. Echo is fuming, yelling that is his trying to save everyone as he makes his way out of the yard.~


Zybala: After a whole bunch of shenanigans, we are back down to the final two. Care to make it a pinfall match again Deano?

Dean: Hell no! Let these suckas throw each other out!


~The fans cheer and clap as they alternate between chants for both Cori and The Gimp. Cori runs up and drives her knee into the midsection of The Gimp, causing him to double over. She starts swinging her arm with a flurry of blows as The Gimp backs away and tries to use his two arms to cover up. He runs out of room however as he finds himself against the ropes. Cori staggers him with a stiff punch on the jaw, leaving the Gimp seeing stars and leaning against the ropes. Cori backs away several feet then charges at The Gimp and jumps with a high crossbody that connects; sending both competitors over the top rope! Mitch runs over as everyone is eager to know who won. Emilio is there with the camera and all the fans leave their seats to get a better view. Mitch leans over to see Cori laying on the grass, and The Gimp laying on top of "Hulking" Harris who had just emerged from underneath the ring! The fans go wild as Mitch calls for the bell!~


Annie: Here is your winner, The Gimp!!!!


~"Real American" plays over the speakers as The Gimp slowly gets to his foot. Mitch gets out of the ring and raises Gimp's hand in victory. Cori looks disappointed but gets up, brushes herself off and offers Gimp a handshake which he accepts. They then head out of the yard to the cheers of the crowd as Harris rolls back under the ring, possibly to nap again. Once again, we go back to Zybala. ~


Zybala: Sadly, that was the last time that we saw most of the wrestlers involved in that match. We wish them all good luck in their future endeavours. But when one door closes another one opens. We took a hiatus and came back with a new ring, a new announcer, and new talents. One of those being Lord Allton! He became a two time X-Factor champion and is looking to be the next World champion. Let's see where his story started.

Cori Haim vs Lord Allton

Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!


Yardies: ONE FALL!!


Belvedere: Making her way to the ring first…..She calls Key West, Florida her home. She is "The One Armed Goddess" Cori Haim!!!


~ "Don't You (Forget About Me) hits the speakers as Haim stumbles out from behind the curtain. She is holding a beer in her one and only hand. She tilts her head back and downs the remaining contents before tossing the empty can to the side of the ramp. Cori walks the best she can to the ring, trying to high five Ehud as he slowly makes his way back to the house. Cori then ventures over to one of the community beer coolers and grabs another beer. She opens it skillfully with her one and only hand, and makes her way back to the ring. She grabs the bottom rope and struggles to pull herself up. After a few attempts, she finally gets on the mat and rolls under the ropes. Cori then stands up with one fist in the air. A few members of the crowd do this as well; as is tradition with the song from The Breakfast Club. ~



Zybala: Cori is looking for her first win tonight.


Dean: Didn't she win the battle royal we had?


Zybala: Fine, her first single's win.


Dean: She may not be able to last through the match. She seems pretty drunk already.



~ Haim is leaning against the ropes as she keeps drinking. Belvedere ignores this display of public drunkenness and continues.~



Belvedere: And her opponent… Hailing from The Midlands, England. Weighing in at 11 stones. He is "The Lord of Dashing" Lord Allton!!




~ "Real Good Looking Boy" by The Who hits the speakers as Allton rolls out from behind the curtain onto the ramp. The fans boo this smug bastard as he rolls his way to the ring. A few fans reach out for high fives, but Allton slaps those hands away. He is too pretty to be touched by these hideous peasants; in his mind anyway. He gets to the ring and is stumped. Zybala stands up and shouts something in Spanish at The Mariachi Band. They put down their instruments and run over to help Allton. They lift him up out of his wheelchair and roll him in the ring. They then lift the wheelchair up and over the ropes, then put a livid Allton back in the chair. Belvedere exits the ring and Mitch calls for the bell. ~



Dean: And here we are with our second match of the night.


Zybala: Will it be as short as the last one?



~ Allton charges at Haim, ramming his wheelchair into her knees. Cori drops down on top of Allton, who quickly grabs her only arm and traps her in the Anaconda Vice! ~



Zybala: I guess that answers my question.


Dean: Lord Allton locks in his Python Grip!!


Zybala: How can Cori tap? She only has one arm and that is currently occupied with getting fucked up!



~ Cori is yelling in pain as Allton sinches the hold in tighter. Mitch is checking for a tap out, but not really sure how to go about it. Cori struggles for a few moments before she flails her hand around, screaming that she quits! Allton keeps Cori locked in the hold before Mitch physically makes him release the hold. Allton looks very pleased with himself.~



Belvedere: Here is your by way of submission, Lord Allton!!



~ Mitch raises Allton's hand in victory as "The Lord of Dashing" soaks in the boos raining down on him. He then wheels over to the ropes and yells at The Mariachi Band to help him out of the ring. They rush over to do just that. Back to Zybala.~


Zybala: Who could forget the wedding between Barry and Deana Barrows? Let's go back to that magical day!

RED ROBIN WEDDING

: It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining down on the GCWA arena and The Red Robin next to it. Everyone from The Mustard Factory gang to Chad Vargas to Hood and Rockwell are there entering the Red Robin. Some are better dressed than others, but it seems like everyone tried to appear appropriately dressed. We go inside the Red Robin and eventually all are seated. Mike Zybala is standing up front, presumably to officiate. He is an ordained minister of The Universal Church of Life, after all. To his left (our right) stands Barry. He looks like he is trying not to cry, he is so happy. Marrying Deana Barrows is inconceivable to him. The organ starts playing a tune and the bridal party makes their way to the altar. First to walk out are Lissandra and Dylan Thomas, both in their Sunday finest. When they get to the altar, they go to the separate sides, with Dylan glaring at Zybala. Next is a sour looking Allton and Hunter Barrows. Hunter, dressed in a pink tux, is having a field day trying to hold Allton's arm, who keeps pulling away. They too separate at the altar, with Hunter going with Lissandra and Allton next to Dylan. Next is Alice Knight, clad in a mustard yellow dress and Xtreme, who is dressed in a black tuxedo that is heavily wrinkled. It’s got a few patches, but it is passable. The organ music then starts to play the "Bridal March" and everyone stands except Allton for obvious reasons. Deana Barrows comes out in a beautiful bridal gown and accompanied by The Accelerator, who is moving very slowly. Deana is putting on a brave face as she is escorted down the aisle by her father. They get to the altar and Ace kisses Deana's cheek before sitting down in his wheelchair next to a grumpy looking Jonathan Barrows. He's shaking his head at all of this. Deana turns to Barry and shudders a little. Everyone sits and Deana and Barry turn to Zybala. :


Zybala: Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today in this glorious Red Robin to bring these two people together in "Wuv and mawiage."....


: The crowd chuckles a bit at this Princess Bride reference. Zybala goes on and does the typical wedding speech we have all heard to a varying degree. He then looks to the crowd. :


Zybala: If anyone should have reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace…


: Everyone looks around, hoping someone would. Don't lie. You know you always want someone to do it. Jonathan makes like he’s going to stand up, but Ace puts a hand on his arm, shaking his head, and Jonathan sits back, grimacing. We see Alice Knight considering saying something, but she shrugs and goes back to enjoying the experience. It looks like we’re going to make it through, Deana looks disappointed at the silence, Barry looks nervous. Zybala gives it a full minute before continuing. :


Zybala: With the power vested in me by the Universal Church of Life, and the great state of Texas, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.


: Barry leans in anxiously and Deana reluctantly kisses him. The crowd claps as Deana and Barry leave arm and arm down the aisle, followed by the rest of the bridal party. Hunter manages to grab Allton's arm and holds on for dear life. Allton eventually manages to pull away from Hunter - so hard in fact that Hunter nearly falls flat on his face. Allton hastens his retreat and catches up to Dylan and Lissandra and whispers to her. :


Allton: Lissandra, dearest….

Lissandra: Mmm?

Allton: Remind me again how we all got roped into such a ridiculous charade….

Dylan: Yeah Lissie sweetie… this is bullshit.

Lissandra: Ssh! Barry is an A-Lister now…. We promised that we would support him on his special day! Now quiet!


: Lissandra winks at the boys as they get closer to Barry and Deana, who are posing for some photos. Well, Barry is. Deana is looking for a way out.. :


Allton: Barry! Lovely service my friend… Congrat...ulations.

Dylan: Yeah bro! As a fellow member of the A-List…. Whatever you want, let Lissandra, Allton or myself arrange it.

Lissandra: And Deana…. You look beautiful. Come on boys. We’ve a reception to get to.


: Lissandra kisses Barry’s cheek, Dylan high fives him and Allton shakes his hand, like a gentleman. He then winks at Deana who seems to smile a bit at Allton before he takes off, following Dylan and Lissandra outside. :


Dylan: Did you just wink at Deana?


: Allton smirks. :


Allton: Maybe.

Lissandra: Drink time!

Dylan: You said it….

Allton: It’s times like this that I wish I wasn’t tee-total. Come on….


: Allton gets out his phone. :


Allton: Vinnie…. Get me a vodka.

Vincenzo: But boss….

Allton: I KNOW that I don’t drink… But if you were at this wedding you would be drinking too. Vodka. Double. Neat. Ice.

Vincenzo: Yes boss.


: We cut to later in the evening to the reception. Everyone seems to be having a blast. People are eating the superb food of Red Robin, drinking at the open bar and dancing it up to Stupid Love playing over the speakers. Hunter is dancing with no one in particular with his tie around his head like a bandana and a drink in his hand, Xtreme is trying to dance with different ladies, but sadly keeps getting shut down. Mack O'Connor, Chad Vargas, Mike & Cathy Zybala and Jonathan Barrows are taking advantage of the open bar. Ed Houston is ignoring Big Bifford about how his franchise should appear in the next Meteor movie. James Raven is loudly complaining to anyone who will listen that HE should have been the best man. The Mustard Factory are adding their own mustard to the food. They glare at Curt Canon when he tries to add some Catsup to his food. Puffer slaps it away. The A-List all sit at a table together, trying to have a good time despite the circumstances of the event, but they're not being curmudgeons about it. Deana can be seen talking to Alice and other friends when the music stops and "Unchained Melody" starts to play. Barry comes up to the group of ladies and smiles at his new bride. :


Barry: Excuse me ladies, but the groom requests a dance with the bride.


: Alice laughs as Deana rolls her eyes and sighs. :


Deana: Barry, sweetie, the press coverage is over. This wasn't a real wedding, remember? This was all for the publicity and to promote the restaurant.


: Barry looks absolutely crushed, apparently having thought it was real. You can say he even looks like he was… Betrayed at the Red Robin Wedding! Zybala, who happened to be walking by, overhears the conversation and interjects, slurring his words a little. :


Zybala: That's rough Barry. I'm sorry man. I'm still gonna give you your part of the wedding gift. Because you are undefeated, I think we can add you to the Brack Friday Bunduru match at the ppv.


: Zybala turns to Deana. :


Zybala: You know, boss lady, I AM legally an ordained minister and you guys did sign the papers. You two are technically, legally husband and wife.


: Alice is busting a gut as Deana looks horrified. She turns to look at Barry, who is now beaming with joy. Zybala continues. :


Zybala: If you didn't want the wedding to be real, then you should have hired an actor. By the way, are you gonna be taking her name Bare? Barry Barrows has a nice ring to it.


: Before Barry can answer, Allton grabs Zybala's arm. Apparently, he heard most of this conversation and isn't happy. :


Allton: Mr. Zybala… Do excuse me but what do you mean Barry is added to the match?!

Zybala: Well, yeah. The fans like him so he'll add to the draw. Now, if you'll excuse me, the DJ is playing the Time Warp, and I must make a fool of myself with my wife.


: Zybala goes off and grabs his wife. They go and dance like goofs while belting out the lyrics to the song. Allton glares at Zybala then turns his gaze towards Barry BARROWS. Dylan looks over at Allton as he wheels over to The A-List table. Allton tells them what had just happened. :


Dylan: Look Rob, I know you respect Zybala - I don’t know why but…. Now do you see why I had issues with the guy?

Allton: I had issues at first too, but he went on to state his case and became a cordial man...or so I thought. At least when I realised that he wasn’t trying to murder me.

Lissandra: Er...what?

Allton: Long story - but this….. Adding BARRY to the match?! My match?! It’s inconceivable….What the hell is his angle? Perhaps I should go and find the bride… Excuse me. Vincenzo, Tank…


: Allton nods his head, and the Family follow Allton as he leaves the table, presumably trying to find and talk to Deana Barrows. :


Dylan: ‘Nother drink, my angel?

Lissandra: God yes!


: We cut away from the A-List for now. The party is going hard. Vargas is passed out in the corner, Uber-Man is in all his glory as he is dancing with Alice Knight. Jason Cashe is desperately trying to convince Guy Cashe that they are not related and no, he will not spot Guy a twenty. Enforcer and Justice are dancing together. Duce Jones and Byron are chatting and drinking with Ace. Space Lord and Terry Marshall look ridiculous in their tuxedos with the sleeves ripped off, randomly flexing whenever a lady walks by. The Zybala's are sitting at a table chatting with Lissie Hope and Havoc about whatever when an irritated looking Aaron Warthog walks over and stares at Mike Zybala. A few minutes pass and Mike has yet to acknowledge Warthog, who angrily taps Zybala's shoulder. Zybala looks up and smiles. He is still a bit drunk. :


Zybala: Aaron! Enjoying the wedding?

Warthog: I'd enjoy it more if I wasn't hearing that you're just letting Barry in the match next week!

Zybala: What about it? It's his wedding, it was his gift, and I own Outsiders. Deal with it.


: We cut to Allton talking to Deana Barrows. They are embroiled deep in conversation. :


Allton: ….And you’re certain that there’s nothing you can do about Zybala adding Barry to the match? How can that be?! You’re a Barrows for crying out loud!

Deana: Yes, Mr. Allton, but….

Allton: ‘Lord’.

Deana: My apologies. ‘Lord’ Allton, but as Zybala owns Outsiders, I have no jurisdiction.

Allton: I see.


:Allton smiles coyly. :


Allton: May I say however that you are looking beautiful on your **ahem** special day… Excuse me, please.


: Allton winks at Deana again causing her to slightly blush and then he wheels back to the A-List table. :


Allton: Plan B it is then….


: Someone walks over to Deana and informs her it's time to cut the cake. She sighs, downs her drink and walks over to a beautiful cake on display. Barry is already there. They grab the knife together and cut a slice. Deana takes the slice and smooshes it into Barry's face, trying to look playful, but she pushes a bit hard. Everyone laughs until a drunk, angry Warthog Stampedes Barry into the nearby wall. Everyone shouts angrily in protest as Warthog starts yelling about always getting screwed. The cake is untouched. Anderson Haze runs over and pulls Warthog off Barry and those two start fighting as Barry slumps against the wall. Allton and The A-List go over to check on Barry before Allton whispers something in Barry’s ear and Barry seems to agree - friends in high places? We see Rogue Daniels in a corner table with his date, sipping champagne, looking at the action. The Mustard Factory is at the table right next to him. Uber-Man, sitting next to Alice Knight, looks at Daniels. He asks if Daniels wants to fight. Daniels says he's cool, and Uber just shrugs and watches the fight. That is until the fight makes their way over to them! Haze throws Warthog onto the Mustard Factory table, causing their mustard jars and drinks to go everywhere, including on Alice's dress. Uber-Man takes offense to this and attacks Haze! Warthog, Haze and Uber are all fighting while Allton and Barry make their way out of the ruckus and back over to where Lissandra is sitting. Zybala makes his way to the DJ and grabs a microphone. He asks the DJ to turn it on and shut off the music. Zybala then puts two fingers in his mouth and whistles into the mic loudly. The noise causes the fighting to stop as everyone covers their ears. Zybala waits until everyone is looking at him then he talks. :


Zybala: Shame on you! This is supposed to be Red Robin's big… I mean Barry and Deana's big day and you Outsiders are acting like animals!


: Rogue Daniels, who has done nothing but sit in his seat and drink, shouts a protest. :


Zybala: My bad Rogue. Almost all of you. You just couldn't wait until the Brack Friday Bunduru match?? And what are you A-List guys doing?!?


: He looks at Tank, Branson, Vincenzo, and Dylan all pointing bows and arrows at Allton's future opponents. They lower the weapons when Zybala calls attention to them. :


Zybala: This is the Red ROBIN Wedding, not the Red Wedding! You're watching too much Game of Thrones. Seriously! You guys want to act like animals and savages? I'll treat you and lock you up like such! The Brack Friday Bunduru match is going to take place in an ELIMINATION CHAMBER!!! Now can we all please just calm down and enjoy the rest of the reception??


: Lissandra whispers into Allton’s ear.:


Lissandra: So what’s plan B?


: Allton smiles, patting Barry on the back.:


Allton: In my match, our man Barry is going to help me - The A-List are a family, after all. Right, Bazza?

Barry: ...Right.


: Everyone murmurs at the announcement as the music starts up. It's "Uptown Funk"" Zybala starts dancing like nothing happened. His wife joins him and others make their way to the dance floor. Through all the fighting, the cake miraculously is still intact. Suddenly, Chad Vargas, still a little drunk but always one to rebound after heavy drinking, walks over to the cake and grabs a piece. He tastes it, and makes a sour face of disgust. :


Chad Vargas: WEAK ASS FROSTING!


:He casually knocks the cake over, sending it splattering across the floor! Vargas then walks away, looking for another drink, as if nothing had happened. We go back to Zybala. :


Zybala: We all know what happened next…


Outsiders Brack Friday Bunduru match

The Uber-Man(c) (0-1) vs. (Lord Allton(c) (0-0) vs. Rogue Daniels(c) (3-3) vs. Barry Barrows (3-0) vs. Anderson Haze (6-8) vs. Aaron Warthog (5-16)

* We cut back to ringside and the fans explode with cheers as the Elimination Chamber lowers down to surround the ring. The ring crew do their magic when the Chamber lands; fastening all the bolts and everything else to prevent anything from breaking. The fans are confused when they start taking down the ropes. They open up the front of the Chamber and place a ramp up to the ring so the wrestlers (mostly likely wheelchair bound Allton) can enter. The cheers get louder as Belvedere and Mitch walk out from behind the curtain. Mitch is high fiving everyone he can, looking pumped for this match. Belvedere is more composed, but we can tell even he is excited to be here. Both men get in the ring. *


Rockwell: I can't believe we're finally here. The Brack Friday Bunduru match! Months of run ins and attacks have led to this moment.

Hood: I hate to admit this, but Zybala did a good job stirring the pot for this one. All Outsiders gold up for grabs in a winner take all frenzy!

Rockwell: Someone is going home with everything, and five guys are going to be extremely disappointed. Who do you have in this one, Hood?

Hood: I have no clue! I wanna pull for The A-Lister, Lord Allton, but I've always been a Barry fan, who is also in the A-List. Fucking Zybala making me choose like this! Let's just take it to Belvedere…


*Belvedere is looking professional inside the massive structure, despite the intimidating surroundings. Even Mitch looks sober for this one. He doesn't want to fuck this up. Belvedere raises the microphone and here we go.... *


Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen! The following Outsiders match is a Brack Friday Bunduru Match for every Outsiders Championship Wrestling Title!!


* The fans cheer, though seem a bit disappointed they couldn't shout "One Fall!" with Belvedere. *


Belvedere: The rules are simple. Two wrestlers will start while the other four will wait in pods. A new wrestler will join every three minutes. Eliminations can take any time. The last person standing will win all Outsiders titles! Introducing first, your referee for the match, Outsiders head and only ref, MITCH!!


* The fans cheer as a brief "Mitch" chant can be heard. Belvedere let's this go on for a little bit before he starts. *


Belvedere: The first competitor! He is standing at 5'7" and weighing 167 lbs... from Pensacola, Florida... He is the Outsiders United X-Division champion..... Here is "The Killswitch" ROOOOOOOOOGUE DAAAAAAAAAANIELS!!


*The lights circle the arena in and out until the beat drops. Rogue Daniels comes out with grey and black camo pants with a shirt that says "Killswitch" with a knife on it once the beat drops. He is clutching the United X-Division belt close to his chest as he walks down to the ring while lip syncing the song. The lights continue to circle the arena while blue and white lights slowly flash the ring. Daniels walks up the ramp and enters the ring. As the first "Kill your masters" lyric comes on, Rogue Daniels climbs the middle turnbuckle and looks at the crowd while sliding his thumb by his throat signifying a knife as the lights that flash the ring turn red. He holds his title high in the air before hopping down. He hands the belt to Mitch and walks to a pod. Daniels enters it and sits, waiting for his opponent. The music dies down and Belvedere continues.*


Belvedere: And his opponent. He is standing at 5'9" and weighing 220 lbs... Hailing from Boston, Massachusetts... This is ANDERSON HAAAAAAZE!!


*The lights go out for the first part of the song. Then the electric guitar starts, a bright flash of white light happens then goes to red. Anderson Haze walks out with a black t-shirt that says, "Get Hazed!" on his chest. He has on a variation of The Crow face paint that he wore during his promos and comes out with an electric guitar. He walks to the ring, playing along with his theme song, all the while staring up at the Chamber. He stops before entering, gently takes off his guitar and hands it to a ring crew member. He then takes off his shirt, and throws it to a fan. Haze enters the ring, glaring at Daniels and enters a pod of his own and paces back and forth. His music stops and Belvedere continues. *


Belvedere: Making his way to the ring... at a height of 5'6 and a weight of 11stone, being accompanied to the ring by his ‘Family' Tank Terrell and Vincenzo Larossia... representing The A-List.....please welcome the Outsiders X-Factor Champion..... LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


* Instead of "Real Good Looking Boy" playing, a familiar, melodious tune begins to play. "JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR" hits the speakers and out of the curtain rolls Lord Allton. He is smirking to the crowd who are booing their heads off - not that he cares at all - Allton rolls down the ramp with Tank and Vincenzo not far behind. Allton is wearing his usual (non Pennywise-inspired) wrestling attire with some strange leg brace contraptions on his legs. *


Rockwell: There's Lord Allton - he's seemingly himself tonight and not PennyLord. But will we see remnants of the psychotic clown here tonight?

Hood: Lord Allton doesn't need PennyLord to defeat the likes of these guys, Adrian. The next Outsiders World Champion, right here tonight - you'll see. And he's gonna bring that title back to the A-List!

Rockwell: Always a man with a plan....Allton has become even more dangerous since reuniting with Dylan and Lissandra Thomas - and arguably has made the A-List much more dangerous as a result.

Hood: Arguably?! Definitely.... Wait, what's Allton doing?


* Allton stops his chair by the ring as Haze and Daniels both collectively beckon him to get on with it and get in the ring. Allton however raises a finger telling everyone to wait. He hands his X-Factor Championship to Tank, telling him to keep it safe and Tank nods. He then tells Vincenzo to untie the straps on his legs so his feet can dangle down. He then presses a button on the leg braces and he asks for Vincenzo's hand to help steady himself, as he leans forward. He puts his feet on the ground, and using Vincenzo's hand to keep steady....Allton stands up! Everyone in the arena is shocked, including Allton's opponents. *


Hood: Oh my fucking god!

Rockwell: He's standing up! Lord Allton is....he's WALKING TOWARDS THE RING!

Hood: This is a fucking miracle! Is Lord Allton the Jesus Christ of GCWA and Outsiders?!


* Vincenzo lets go of Allton's hand as he feels more steady now and he climbs into the ring with an evil smirk towards Haze and Daniels. He then walks to a pod and starts doing little stretches to keep limber and get used to actually standing. There is a murmur in the crowd about this walking. Belvedere continues. *


Belvedere: And their opponent.. He stands at 5 foot 6 inches and weighs in tonight at 150 pounds! Accompanied by Deana Barrows and Lissandra Thomas....Also representing The A-List....He is The "UNDEFEATED" BAAAAAARRY BAAAAAARRRRROOOOOWWS!!


*The fans cheer as "Oh Yeah!" by Green Day begins to play, starting at "I am a kid of a bad education, the shooting star of a lowered expectation". Barry steps out from behind the curtain with his arms raised! The fans start chanting "BAAAR-RY!! BAAAR-RY!" Goldberg style. They can't deny the force this man has become.*


Rockwell: The fans are behind the newly married Barry Barrows.

Hood: There he is! The man! The legend! The guy who will be the Outsiders everything champion!!

Rockwell: I thought you wanted Allton to win...

Hood: I do.

Rockwell: What about Barry??

Hood:..... Fuck....


*Barry makes his way to the ring, looking confident. He enters the ring carefully, but is able to step through without injury. He smiles and climbs the turnbuckle, only getting up one rung before deciding that's enough and raising a shaking hand in the air. The Green Day song stops as Barry enters the fourth pod. *


Rockwell: Now we know who's starting the match off. Aaron Warthog and The Outsider's World champion, Uber-Man!

Hood: Good. Let them wear each other out. It'll soften them up for Lord Allton.

Rockwell: Or Barry?

Hood: Fuck!!


Belvedere: And the next competitor.... standing 6'1" and weighing 330 lbs... He hails from Charleston, South Carolina... he is a former United X-Division champion... This is AARON WARTHOG!!


"Everyone knows I'm Hog Wild!"

*Hank Williams Jr starts the intro as the fans all turn to look at the entrance. Aaron Warthog comes out, jutting out his chin on the stage and facing the audience.. Warthog starts down to the ring, looking a bit nervous. He enters the ring and looks at everyone in the pods. Warthog's music ends and the lights dim a little bit.*


Belvedere: Last but not least.... His secret lair is in Rancho Cucamonga, California. Weighing at 190 pounds of justice, he is your Outsiders World Champion! This is The UBEEER-MAAAN!!!!!


"THEY SAY A HERO CAN SAVE US"

* "Hero" by Nickelback plays as The Uber Man comes out as his music plays. He is in his hero costume and holds his Outsiders Title high for all to see. He strikes a superhero pose before turning towards the curtain. Out steps Chad Kroeger!! He's playing a guitar while singing his most famous song. Uber looks amazed and almost on the verge of tears. The hero reluctantly turns around and heads down the ramp. He high fives fans on his way ringside and slides under the ropes. Uber-Man jumps to his feet and strikes another pose with his title held high! He then hands the title to Mitch, who lifts it high before handing it to the exiting Belvedere. Once Belvedere is out of the ring, the crew closes the last part of the Chamber and locks everything in place. Mitch waits for Kroeger to finish playing and calls for the bell!! Warthog and Uber-Man circle each other, taking their time, sizing each other up, waiting for the other to act first.*


Hood: Just fight already!!

Rockwell: It literally just started. They're trying to come up with a plan it looks like.

Hood: Plan nothing! Beat the fuck out of each other and get weak for Barry!

Rockwell: You mean Allton?

Hood: I hate Zybala for making me choose!!!


* Uber and Warthog are still circling. Uber quickly drops forward on his knee and tries to grab Warthog's leg. Warthog backs up, avoiding contact, and lunges forward to grab at Uber, who also moves out of the way. They're playing it smart. They're saving energy for when the others join. Uber-Man grabs Warthog by the wrist and tries to throw him into the ropes, but Aaron doesn't budge. Uber tries again and it's the same results. The weight advantage is too much. Warthog then whips Uber into the ropes, but Uber stops himself by holding onto the top rope. Warthog charges at Uber-Man with a clothesline, but Uber-Man ducks, pulling the top rope down with him. Warthog spills over the top rope and takes the short fall to the steel floor between the pods. Warthog gets to his feet rather quickly and tries to get back in the ring, but is met with a knee to gut courtesy of Uber-Man. Uber then reaches over the ropes, grabs Warthog and tries to Uberplex the bigger man back into the ring. Uber can't lift up Warthog, however. Warthog then tries to suplex Uber OUT of the ring, but is met with resistance as Uber wraps his legs around the bottom rope. Warthog tries again, but Uber just won't let go of those darn ropes. Realizing that his opponent has nothing to hold him up, Warthog releases Uber-Man, who crashes to the mat, legs still tangled in the ropes.*


Rockwell: Warthog using some smarts there.

Hood: It's some action, but they should kick it up. Really go all out and get tired for The A-List! Haha, fuck you and asking me which one!

Rockwell: Only one can still win. If Barry let's Allton win, he won't be undefeated anymore. If Barry wins, Allton won't be a champion anymore. That may cause a rift in the A-List...

Hood: MOTHER FUCKER, ADRIAN! QUIT RUINING THIS FOR ME!!


* Hood stands up and throws a nearby chair up the ramp. Everyone looks at the tantrum, including the wrestlers. Uber-Man gets to his feet as Warthog enters the ring while still looking at Hood. Uber tries to use the distraction to his advantage and superkicks at Warthog, who sees this at the last second and manages to catch the foot in time. He pushes Uber onto his ass and is about to charge at him when the lights go dim. The crowd cheers as a spotlight spins roulette style over the pods. After several rotations, it slows to a stop on.....*


Rockwell: Anderson Haze is in the match!

Hood: Come on! Let Allton and Barry be last!


* Haze's pod opens and he rushes out and enters the ring. He immediately goes after Warthog and starts slugging away at him! Warthog fights back, but Haze is getting the better of the big man. Warthog staggers back and Haze drops him with a big boot to the mush! Warthog drops to the mat and Haze is about to continue with his attack, when Uber-Man runs up behind him! Uber-Man places his hands on Haze's shoulders, lifts himself up and over Haze, and lands a legdrop on Warthog! The fans cheer as Uber goes for a quick cover, but he gets pulled off by Haze. Haze drags Uber to his feet, shoves him in the corner, and starts chopping away at the hero's chest. Uber is in pain and it's not over yet as Haze climbs to the second rope and rains punches down on the Outsiders World champion. Mitch doesn't bother to administer a five count; he's only there to count the pins and call the submissions.*

* Warthog slowly gets to his feet and sees Haze still beating on Uber-Man. Aaron sneaks up behind Haze, bends over and lifts Haze up on his shoulders! Haze is confused at first, but quickly figures out what's going on. He starts punching the top of Warthog's head when he notices a now recovered Uber-Man has made it to the top rope. Uber-Man leaps off the top with a clothesline, but Haze ducks. Uber-Man lands on his feet as Haze manages to slip off of Warthog's shoulders. Uber charges, but Haze side-steps, causing Uber to crash into Warthog! Haze spins Uber-Man around and lifts him up in a fireman's carry, and spins him with an Airplane Spin! Both men are getting dizzy as Warthog tries to interfere, only to catch Uber's feet to his face! Haze stops spinning and nails Uber-Man with the Haze Effect!! Warthog tries to Stampede the dizzy Haze, but Haze has enough wherewithal to see this coming and trips up Warthog with a drop toe hold! Warthog falls to the mat and lands right on top of Uber-Man! Mitch goes for the count!*


Mitch: 1......2......3no!!!


* Uber gets a shoulder up at the very last millisecond! Warthog protests to Mitch about the count, but Mitch confirms it was only two..*


Hood: Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!

Rockwell: Despite my partners very biased opinion, Uber-Man barely escapes being eliminated.

Hood: It's a conspiracy against The A-List! Everyone is against them! Lissandra will have complaints to the Barrows about Mitch's abilities!

Rockwell: Mitch is an Outsiders ref. The Barrows have no power over him.

Hood: Conspiracy!!


* Warthog gets to his feet, pushing down on Uber to push himself up. He starts stomping and kicking away at the superhero, apparently forgetting about Haze. Haze grabs Warthog, spins him around and resumes their earlier scrap. The two men are punching away at each other with everything they have and then some! Warthog gets the upper hand, staggering his opponent. He then kicks Haze in the midsection before whipping him into the ropes. Warthog runs to the other ropes to build momentum and charges at Haze with The Stampede! Unfortunately for Warthog, Haze was thinking about using a spear too! Both men collide head first with each other and fall to the mat, clutching their respective noggins in pain. We can see a small trickle of blood on Warthog's forehead while Haze has a big lump forming on his forehead. Uber-Man is still out from the Haze Effect/Warthog splash from earlier. The fans are trying to encourage their favorite wrestler to get up when the lights dim again! The spotlight roulette begins again!*


Hood: Come on, Barry or Allton!!

Rockwell: What happened to keeping The A-List for last?

Hood: And waste this opportunity to pin three guys at once? Come on, A-List!!


* The spotlight starts to slow down and stops on..... LORD ALLTON! The Wrestling Jesus steps out from his now opened pod and enters the ring. He walks over to Uber-Man and starts stomping away at him! Allton is relishing the fact that he can use his legs, especially in this manner. He's having such a time that he doesn't notice Warthog and Haze are getting to their feet. Warthog notices Allton though, and goes to attack his nemesis, but is intercepted by Haze! The two men start to brawl and tumble through the ropes. Warthog shoves Haze off of him and gets to his feet. Haze gets to his feet too, using the side of a pod to steady himself. Haze looks into the pod and sees a worried looking Barry. Barry starts frantically pointing behind Haze. When he turns, Warthog charges at him with a Stampede! Haze manages to leap up the side of the Chamber at the last second. Warthog misses Have and goes crashing through the Plexiglas of the pod! Barry managed to back away in the pod far enough to avoid being crushed by Plexiglas and Warthog. Barry cautiously steps out of the damaged pod. He looks around as Deana and Lissandra yell at him to get out and help Allton! He looks at his stablemate who is having a blast kicking away at Uber-Man. He turns his attention to Warthog, who is slowly getting up and bleeding hard as the collision with the pod opening up his previous cut more. Barry quickly hits the dreaded Surprise Roll-Up on Warthog and pins him to the Chamber floor! The back of Warthog's head hits the steel hard as Mitch hops over the ropes and makes the count!*


Mitch: One.......Two.......No!!


* Haze jumps off the Chamber wall on top of Barry and Warthog, breaking up the pin. Haze starts raining down blow after blow on Barry, yelling that Warthog is his kill! Barry is doing his best just to cover up and defend himself. Allton sees this and stops stomping Uber-Man to go help his "friend." Allton steps between the ropes, grabs Haze and pulls him off of Barry. Allton helps Barry to his feet and the two advance on Haze, who isn't backing down. He tries to fight off both A-Listers by himself and it works for a while mostly due to Barry's inexperience. Haze throws Barry back into the ring, but that leaves him momentarily distracted for Allton to attack. As Haze turns towards The Lord of Dashing, Allton jumps up in the air for the first time in his life and dropkicks Haze into the broken pod! Everyone is stunned! The fans cheer out of support for the handicapable! Deana is shocked. Tank is stoic while Vincenzo is crying manly tears of joy! Lissandra can't believe it! Allton looks a little shocked himself, but he composes himself. He walks over to Haze, grabs his legs and drags him out of the pod. Allton, still holding on to Haze's legs, spins around one and locks Haze up in a figure four leg lock! Mitch is there in a flash, asking Haze if he wants to quit, all the while saying words of admiration to Allton for overcoming his struggles.*


Hood: TAP! TAP OUT!!

Rockwell: Jesus Christ! Will you please calm down?

Hood: TAAAAAAP!!

Rockwell: The Voice of The A-List, ladies and gentlemen. Haze is in a bad spot with that figure four locked in tight.


* Haze is trying to break the hold, but Allton has it locked in surprisingly well for someone who never used his legs before today. Uber-Man has slowly gotten to his feet and looks around. He sees Barry in the corner, thinking he may be in over his head. Uber then spots Allton, runs at the ropes towards his foe and swantons over the top rope! He crashes hard on top of Allton, causing the X-Factor champ to release Haze. A bleeding Warthog has recovered by this point and looks between Haze and Allton, not sure who he hates more. He picks Allton and goes over to help Uber-Man give The Lord of Dashing a good, old fashioned beat-down. In the midst of punching away, Warthog gets an idea. He stops Uber-Man and tells him what to do. Uber nods, enters the ring, turns around, and holds onto the top rope. Warthog picks up Allton and holds his head against the chamber cage. A buzz fills the audience in anticipation. Deana and Lissandra are yelling at Barry to do something, while Tank and Vincenzo yell at Allton to move. Barry does try to stop Uber-Man, but is cut off by Haze of all people. Haze reaches over the ropes and grabs Barry. He lifts up The Undefeated One and drops him to the mat with a front suplex. Haze enters the ring to make sure Barry doesn't interfere, and nods at Uber-Man.*


Hood: This is bullshit! Everyone is working against The A-List!

Rockwell: It does look like that for once, the numbers game is working against The A-List. Allton is in a pretty bad spot.

Hood: "Pretty bad?" This is practically attempt murder! Mitch needs to stop that costumed goof!

Rockwell: What if this was the other way around?

Hood: Then it would be fine.

Rockwell: Double standards aside, Uber-Man has taken flight!

Hood: MOVE ALLTON!!


* Uber-Man hops onto the top rope and leaps off with a flying knee at Allton! Allton can't fight off Warthog and his head gets driven into the steel by The Uber-Knee! Allton crumples in a heap when the lights dim again. There's no spotlight this time as Rogue Daniels's pod simply opens and the United X-Division champion enters the fray! Though, he's just taking his sweet time. Rogue goes to lean in a far corner to watch everyone else fight. Haze sees this and doesn't like it. Haze grabs the worked over Barry and whips in Daniels' direction. Daniels simply sidesteps Barry, who puts his arms out to grab the ropes and stops from crashing into the turnbuckles. Barry then starts to climb up the turnbuckles and even further as he pulls himself up on top of the pod! He sits up there to catch his breath and avoid the action. Daniels looks up as if he plans to give chase, but doesn't have the option as Haze clubs him with a forearm to the back of the head! Daniels stumbles forward, and quickly throws a superkick in Haze's direction. Haze dodges by backing up, only to bump into Warthog and Uber-Man. The two continue to use the numbers game by ganging up on Haze; who does his best to fend them off. Daniels watches the fight for a bit before turning to give chase to Barry.*


Hood: Why can't these guys just leave poor Barry alone?! Haven't they done enough to his partner, Allton?

Rockwell: If he didn't want to get hurt, he could have declined taking part in the match.

Hood: He didn't decline because he's a wrestler. He's a warrior! You wouldn't know anything about that.

Rockwell: I'm a former GCWA Internet and Television champion....

Hood: Those are entertainment mediums, not titles.

Rockwell: I can also kick your ass from here to next week.

Hood:..... Just leave Barry alone!!


* Rogue Daniels doesn't leave Barry alone, though. He climbs up the pod and stands right behind Barry, who is clinging to the Chamber links for dear life. Daniels reaches up to the ceiling, pulls himself up and lowers himself onto Barry's shoulders! The crowd is going wild as they start chanting "Please Don't Die!" Vincenzo and Lissandra are yelling at Daniels to go away. Even Deana looks concerned for her... "husband"... Daniels tries pulling Barry with his legs while Barry is still clinging to the Chamber. Haze, Uber, and Warthog stop fighting and look up just in time to see Barry lose his grip!! Barry stumbles backwards with Daniels still on his shoulders, as Daniels lets go of the ceiling! Daniels falls backwards with his legs still wrapped around Barry, hitting him with a Reverse-Rana from the top of the pod!! Daniels manages to land on Uber-Man, Warthog and Haze, but poor Barry crashes face first to the canvas! Chants of "Holy Shit" fill the arena!*


Hood: That asshole Daniels just fucking murdered Barry!!

Rockwell: Can we get a medic out here? Barry could be seriously injured.

Hood: And the cops! Daniels needs to be arrested!


* While the fans are cheering and encouraging everyone to get up, Tank and Vincenzo can be seen tending to a recovering Allton the beat can. Tank slips something between the links and Allton puts it in his hand. Allton shakily gets to his feet and stumbles into the ring. He sees everyone on the ground and has no idea what to do. That is until he sees Warthog starting to stir. Allton starts to slowly stomp the mat. The fans know what's coming and start cheering! Normally they hate Allton, but they love an inspirational story like a man being able to walk for the first time. Allton is stomping away at the mat as Warthog slowly gets up. Allton moves forward and when Warthog turns to face him, goes for the superkick! But it's a fake out! Half way through with the kick, Allton drops the leg down and nails Warthog in the face with a stiff left hand! Warthog drops and Allton takes off a pair of brass knuckles from his hand and pockets them. The cheers turn to boos as Allton poses smugly. He doesn't notice Haze putting an arm across Warthog. Mitch makes the count...*


Mitch: One......Two........THREE!!

Belvedere: Aaron Warthog has been eliminated!


* The fans continue to boo as the front of the chamber opens and a couple of officials help Warthog out of the ring and towards the back.*


Rockwell: Thanks to the help of a foreign object used by Lord Allton, Anderson Haze has taken Warthog out of the match.

Hood: Xenophobe.

Rockwell: Excuse me?

Hood: You're being Xenophobic. You're calling Allton a "foreign object" all because he's from England.

Rockwell: I'm calling the brass knuckles he used the foreign object, not him!

Hood: All I saw was Allton hit Warthog with the Legendary, Awesome, Gorgeous Punch and then take off a perfectly legal weapon and save it for later.

Rockwell: I guess there is no dq in the match.


* Allton goes over to check on Barry, who is looking worse for wear, ignoring the fact that Haze stole his pin. Allton drags Barry into a corner and tells him to sit tight. As Allton turns, he finds out what a real Superkick is as Rogue Daniels connects with the side of his jaw! Allton falls back into Barry! Before Daniels' foot is back on the mat, it's his turn to eat a Superkick, courtesy of Haze!! Daniels staggers and falls between the ropes as Haze turns around. Uber-Man is there to scoop him up and drop him with an Uber-Slam (World's Strongest Slam)! Haze is out on his back and Uber is looking for the kill. He goes to the corner where Barry and Allton are in, and begins to climb up the ropes, using Allton as a stepping stool. He looks down at Haze and flies off gracefully with an Uber-Crush (swanton bomb)! Haze brings his knees up at the last second and Uber crashes hard on them. Uber-Man is writhing in pain, holding his back, as Haze slowly gets to his feet. He's a little wobbly because almost 200 pounds crashed down on his knees and lower legs. He stalks Uber-Man, yelling at him to get up. Haze wipes sweat from his face, smearing his face paint and not caring. Uber-Man slowly gets back to his feet. Haze spins him around and hoists Uber up on his shoulders. He goes for the Haze Effect, but Allton is now standing in the way! Uber lands on Allton's right shoulder, which Allton is able to stay standing under the burden. He holds Uber as if he's going to hit a modified Dominator, but spins Uber-Man and drops him with a cutter! Lissandra is yelling her praises at Allton as Tank and Vincenzo clap for their boss. The fans boo the whole time.*


Hood: CONNECTICUTTER!! Allton just paid tribute to his friend with that one!

Rockwell: Interesting, albeit inadvertent teamwork there from Haze and Allton.

Hood: Maybe Haze wants to join The A-List. A few more assists like that and I'm sure Dylan and Lissi would allow him a probationary membership.

Rockwell: I highly doubt Haze wants to join…


* Uber-Man falls face first on the mat. Allton goes to make the pin, but gets pulled away by Haze. Haze starts yelling that Allton took away his finisher. He gives Allton a hard shove, stumbling the Jesus of Outsiders, but Allton recovers and shove Haze back into the rope. Haze uses them to propel himself back at Allton, hitting a forearm to the side of Allton's head. It's Allton's turn to stumble into the ropes and he returns in kind, nailing Haze. The two start smashing each other with forearms as the crowd is eating it up! Haze gets the upper hand, staggering Allton, and he tries to whip Allton into the ropes. Allton reverses and sends Haze running. Haze tries coming back with a clothesline, but Allton ducks and Haze runs right into a recovered Barry! Barry scoops up Haze and nails him with a very sloppy spinning powerslam! The crowd cheers for The Unstoppable One, then go absolutely nuts when Barry gets up and points up at the Barrows' sky box.*


Rockwell: The fans are loving Barry for paying homage to his father-in-law with that slam.

Hood: I don't think anyone expected to see The Rollercoaster tonight, especially from Barry!

Rockwell: The fans always do appreciate a bit of nostalgia.


* Barry goes to pin pin Haze, but gets rolled up in a surprise small package instead! Allton rushes over to break up the pin before Mitch could even go for the count. Allton starts kicking away at Haze and is so invested with it, that he doesn't notice Daniels getting back into the ring! He grabs Allton, spins him around and nails the Lord of Dashing with The Lights Out (spinning head kick)!!! Allton falls like a sack of potatoes and Daniels makes the cover!*


Mitch: One......Two.......Thr.....


* At the last millisecond, Barry makes the save by dragging Daniels off of Allton. Barry soon realizes that was a mistake when Daniels gets up and glares at him. Barry tries to back away, but Daniels pushes him into a nearby turnbuckle. The fans boo as Daniels goes to work with punches and chops and other strikes. He beats down Barry to his ass, then backs up. Daniels points double finger guns at Barry and charges in, nailing a harsh knee strike to Barry's head! Barry is in La-La Land, but Rogue isn't done. He backs up again, and charges in with a second knee strike! This one connects too, and Barry is out. He slumps to the mat as Deana and Lissandra look on with concern. Daniels doesn't care though. He sits Barry back up in the corner and nails him with a THIRD running knee to the head! Lissandra can't look and Deana walks over to Belvedere. She talks to him for a bit and Belvedere nods before turning on his microphone.*


Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, due to the orders of Deana Barrows, Barry Barrows is no longer able to physically compete in the match. Can we have a gurney down here please?


* A medical crew rushes down as the ring crew hurries to open up the cage. Deana talks to Belvedere more.*


Belvedere: Since Barry was neither pinned, nor submitted, he still remains Undefeated!


* The crowd cheers at this. The streak is alive! The medics quickly tend to Barry and get him out of the chamber. The Chamber is then locked back up and the match resumes. Daniels looks smug with himself, but that goes away when he is speared down by Anderson Haze! The two start brawling, rolling around the mat, throwing punches and trying to get the upper hand. They are so immersed with fighting each other that they don't notice Uber-Man flying off the top rope with an Uber-Crush! All three men are down as a buzz fills the audience. Vincenzo starts screaming at the top of the Chamber. The camera pans up and we see Allton scaling the cage! He stops when he is hanging above his downed foes.*


Rockwell: What the hell is Allton doing? How did he get up there?!

Hood: LORD! Allton has tremendous upper physical strength. It was the only part of his body he could train, so he did it with gusto.

Rockwell: That explains the how. What about the why?

Hood: Oh, that I have no fucking clue about.


* Allton starts swinging his legs back and forth, building up good momentum. As his legs swing forward, he releases the cage and starts falling! He manages to twist in the air from his swinging momentum and lands hard on Haze and Daniels with a shooting star press!! The crowd is going nuts and the "Holy Shit" chants start! Lissandra and Vincenzo can't believe their eyes and even the stoic Tank has a look of disbelief. Allton is having a coughing fit as he holds his ribs in pain. He manages to gather enough strength to make the pin on Daniels.*


Mitch: One........ Two........ThreeNO!!


* Daniels kicks out at the last possible moment. Allton then goes over to cover Haze.*


Mitch: One........ Two........


* Haze kicks out as well and this angers Allton. He quickly grabs Haze's arm and locks him up with the Python Grip (anaconda vice)!! Haze is grunting in pain and trying to fight off the X-Factor Champion. Daniels crawls to Haze's legs and quickly locks one up in a modified leg lock! He has a foot on Haze's knee and is pulling back on the rest of the leg. It looks horrible. Haze tries to kick at Rogue with his free leg but the pain of two submissions is too much. Haze has no choice but to tap out.*


Belvedere: Anderson Haze has been eliminated.

Hood: Final three and Lord Allton is still in it! All the gold is coming to The A-List.

Rockwell: It's not over yet. All three of these men are a champion in Outsiders.


* The cage opens as Haze gets help out of the Chamber. Everyone is standing in the crowd! Nobody knows who will win! The crowd is.cheering; trying to urge the last three wrestlers to their feet! Allton is first up, quickly followed by Uber-Man and Daniels. The three men stare at each other, daring the other to make the first move. The tension is high. Uber makes the first move as he attacks Allton. The two men trade blows while Daniels is content with watching. That doesn't last long as Allton pushes Uber-Man back and goes after Daniels. They start brawling as Uber regains his footing and makes his way to re-enter the fray. All three men start hitting the hell out of each other.*


Rockwell: And the match has broken down to fisticuffs between all three men.

Hood: Fisticuffs? Go back to the Thirties. grandpa.


* Daniels and Uber start to gang out on The Outsiders Jesus, Daniels is hitting high and Uber-Man striking low. They back Allton into a corner as they continue their assault. The duo then back up. Daniels grabs Uber's arm and whips him into the corner, but Allton sees it coming and explodes out of the corner with a lariat that levels the Outsiders World Champion! Allton continues his forward momentum and clotheslines Daniels as well. Allton mount Daniels and starts punching his head as the crowd boos.*


Hood: How can they boo this fine display of physical prowess by The Lord of Dashing?

Rockwell: Because he's a pompous ass?

Hood: It's jealousy. I bear Hater-aid is the big seller in the concession stands tonight.


* As Allton continues to pummel Daniels, Uber-Man sneaks up behind the X-Factor champ and pulls him off of Daniels. Uber-Man drags Allton over to a corner and with a show of strength, lifts him onto the top turnbuckle in a sitting position. Allton starts fighting back as the two trade lefts and rights, but Uber-Man gets in a great European Uppercut that snaps Allton's head backward!*


Hood: That's no way to treat a handicapable person!

Rockwell: But Allton has been giving as good and his getting.

Hood: Regardless! The costumed jackass should have more compassion!


* Allton is reeling from the world champs stiff uppercuts of the Europe variety. With Allton dazed, Uber-Man climbs the ropes and sets him up for a superplex. Before he can lift Allton, Daniels comes running over with a forearm to the back of Uber. The hero staggers, releases Allton and starts swinging his fists backwards trying to hit Daniels, who keeps ducking and hitting Uber-Man with more forearms. Allton takes advantage of the distraction and sets Uber-Man up for a Suplex. With a show of strength, Allton lifts up the hero and drops him over the ropes onto the hard metal floor! Uber crashes hard as Allton stands up on the turnbuckles, only to get shoved off by Daniels! Allton lands on his feet right next to Uber as "The Killswitch" steps between the ropes to join his opponents. Allton rushes over and hurls Daniels into the cage. Daniels is able to stop himself by grabbing the cage at the last second, but when he turns to go after Allton, he can't move his left foot. The fans boo as Daniels looks down and sees Tank's arm reaching through the cage, wrapping his hand around Daniels's ankle. Uber-Man starts to get up but is quickly dropped when Allton slips on the brass knuckles again and hits the hero with a L.A.G. Punch to the forehead! He tells a now bleeding Uber to stay down and walks confidently to Daniels.*


Rockwell: Even locked inside of an Elimination Chamber, The Family finds a way to interfere.

Hood: The Family watches out for each other. That's it. You call it interference. I call it having each other's backs.


* Daniels tries kicking at Tank's hand while swinging wildly at the approaching Allton. Allton ducks and weaves, avoiding the blows and slapping a few away. He's feeling cocky. Uber is knocked out, Daniels is in Tank's grasp; he's got this. That is until one of Daniels wild swings catches Allton in the jaw, stunning him. Daniels manages to stomp hard on Tank's arm, causing the big man to release the hold. Daniels turns and quickly lashes out with a wild Lights Out kick at Allton, but only hits air. Allton leaned back and when Daniels's foot is down, nails him with The L.A.G. Punch too. Daniels drops and Allton makes the pin. As Mitch gets in position, Tank and Vincenzo reach through the cage to hold down Rogue's feet.*


Mitch: One.......Two.......Three!

Belvedere: Rogue Daniels has been eliminated!


Hood: Two men left and one is as good as gone! Lord Allton has Uber-Nerd dead to rights!

Rockwell: It does look that way. After that shot from those brass knuckles, Uber-Man might be out for a while.


* As ring crew are helping Daniels out of the ring, Allton makes his way over to Uber-Man and covers him while hooking the leg. Mitch goes for the count.*


Mitch: One......Two.......ThreeNO!!


* The crowd goes wild as Uber-Man somehow finds the energy to kick out at 2 and 63/64ths. Allton is fuming and makes another pin. Mitch counts but Uber kicks out at 2 again. Allton gets up and rolls Uber-Man into the ring, then follows. He starts kicking the hero, screaming at him to get up. Allton stops kicking and allows Uber-Man to get to his feet. When Uber-Man is standing (barely) Allton boots him in the stomach and launches him into the ropes. When Uber bounces back, Allton hits him with a vicious spine buster then goes for the pin.*


Mitch: One.........Two...... KICKOUT!


* The crowd cheers as Uber-Man kicks out again. Allton is fuming! What does he have to do to put this guy away? The X-Factor champ drags Uber up on his feet again and holds a finger up. saying one more time. Once again, he throws Uber into the ropes; who comes running back. Allton catches and lifts Uber up for another spinebuster, but Uber quickly grabs Allton's head and counters with a DDT!!*


Rockwell: The Superhero saw the spinebuster coming that time and countered!!

Hood: Psssh like a DDT can put The Lord of Dashing away.


* Regardless if it can, Uber goes for the pin anyways. He barely throws his arm over Allton for a pin.*


Mitch: One...... Kickout!

Hood: See? The future world champ is too good to be pinned like that.


* Uber-Man is slow to his feet and waits for Allton to stand up. As Allton rises and turns toward him, Uber goes for the superkick! Allton catches the foot though, and holds it. He taunts his opponent as Uber-Man takes a swing at him. Allton yells at Uber that his fists can't reach him. Allton then drops Uber's foot and boots him in the stomach. The crowd boos as Allton grabs Uber in a front headlock and shoots out "BRAINBUSTER!" Allton tries to hoist Uber up, but Uber blocks it by wrapping his leg around Allton's. The Outsiders Jesus tries again, but Uber-Man reverses the move and wraps the champ in a small package pin.*


Mitch: One........Two.........Thr..NO!


* Allton kicks out and has a shocked look on his face like he can't believe he was countered. He is quicker to his feet than Uber-Man and stands waiting. Uber gets up, turns around and sees Allton running at him with a clothesline. Uber-Man ducks and captures the lariat arm in a half nelson. He wraps his other arm around Allton's waist and lifts him up. Uber-Man flips Allton's head forward and he sits out with a Storm Cradle Driver!! Allton hits the back of his head hard! Uber holds the cradle tight as Allton's shoulders are on the mat! Mitch goes for the count!*


Mitch: One........Two......THREENO!!


* It's Allton's turn to kick out at the last possible moment. The crowd is a mix of cheers and boos as the fans don't want this match to end. Uber is at his limit as he begs for Mitch to tell him it was three. Mitch just holds up two fingers as Uber-Man's shoulders sag. He rolls Allton onto his back and drags him to a corner. Uber positions Allton in front of the turnbuckle before he starts to climb. Uber gets to the top and has to use the pod to steady himself. Uber leaps off the ropes with little grace and nails an Uber-Crush on Allton. He lays on The Lord of Dashing, barely pinning him, barely having the energy to do so. The fans are loving this and The A-List are yelling for Allton to get up as Mitch makes the count!*


Mitch: One....... Two.......THREE..NO!!!


* The A-List cheer as the fans boo when somehow Allton gets a shoulder up. Uber-Man can't believe it. He moves to cover Allton properly, only to get snagged in the Python Grip!! Allton musters enough energy to lock up Uber-Man as The A-List are shouting for the hero to tap and the fans are cheering for the opposite! Mitch is asking if Uber wants to give up, but Uber is fading. Mitch raises Uber's free arm and lets it drop. He picks it up again and gets the same result. Mitch picks up the arm a third time. It starts to fall but Uber-Man stops it before Mitch can call the match. There is an explosion of cheers from the fans as Uber-Man punches Allton's head over and over until Allton reluctantly releases the hold. Uber-Man rolls away to catch his breath as Allton just lays there doing the same. Uber drags himself to his feet and goes to the nearest corner. Allton slowly stands and follows his opponent. He tries to punch Uber-Man with the brass knuckles, but Uber dodges and Allton hits the pod! He takes off the weapon and tries to shake the pain out of his fist as Uber-Man climbs the turnbuckles and on top of the pod. He sits up there, resting and trying to recoup. Allton isn't having any of this as he gives chase. Uber weakly kicks at Allton, but The Lord of Dashing climbs the pod as well. The two are trading blows on top of the pod as the audience is hanging on the edge of their seats!*


Hood: Someone is going to die! Let it be Uber so Allton can win.

Rockwell: Fatalities only work in Mortal Kombat!


* Both men are standing on top of the pod, each has one hand holding on to the cage, the other slugging away at each other! Both are running out of steam and are trying not to fall. Allton misses with a wild swing and Uber ducks under it. He lets go of the cage and wraps up Allton as if going for a Rock Bottom! Uber-Man pulls Allton's hand away from the cage, and leaps off the pod with Allton with a Spanish Fly!! Both men crash hard to the mat, surprisingly not breaking the ring. Everyone is in shock by what they just witnessed! Both men are out cold, but Uber's arm is on top of Allton! Mitch makes the count!*


Mitch: One.........Two.......THREE!!!


* The silence is broken by an explosion of cheers! Mitch calls for the bell and points at Uber-Man. The A-List are.losing their collective shits outside of the ring. Medics rush to the ring as the Chamber is being opened.*


Belvedere: Here is your winner of the Brack Friday Bunduru match and new holder of all Outsiders Championships, THE UBER-MAN!!


* Uber-Man and Allton are being loaded onto stretchers, not aware of what's going on. Mitch gathers all of the belts and places them on Uber as the crowd applauds both men, hell, all the Outsiders for their efforts. Hood is raging at the announce table. One more time, we cut back to Zybala. *


Zybala: What a great championship match. Let's do one more as we end this best of with our tag team title match from Controlled Chaos.

TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

THE PATRIOTS vs THE MALVADOS

Belvedere: The following match is for the Outsiders Tag Team titles and is scheduled for one fall!!

Yardies: ONE FALL!

Belvedere: ¡Proveniente de Not Mexico! Con un peso combinado de 400 libras…. Ellos son Héctor y Víctor .., LOS HERMANOS DE MALVADO !!!!


~ "Si Señor" by Control Machete begins to play over the speakers. A minute passes but there are no brothers. Suddenly, there is a loud crash as a low-rider vehicle plows through the fence! Zybala swears as the fans cheer. Unlike the classics driven by Eddie Guerrero, this is a piece of shit and the reason why is a low rider is mainly due to a bad suspension. It comes to a stop by the ramp, you see the driver hit the switches, hoping to make it jump but instead it looks like a car stalling badly and then the bumper falls off. The Malvado Bros. jump out of the car, not to look cool, the door doesn't open. They look at the bumper and shake their head as they quickly pick it up and throw it in the backseat. They make their way to the ring, one sliding under the bottom rope while the other leaps over the top rope. They each go to a corner jumping onto the second turnbuckle, pumping up the crowd. The music stops and Belvedere continues. ~


Belvedere: And their opponents...Coming down the aisle... weighing a combined 412 lbs... from Washington D.C.... here are Memphis Belle and The Spruce Goose... the Patriots!!


~ The speakers crackle with static for a bit before…. ~


"I am a Real American… Fight for the rights of every man… I am a Real American… Fight for what's right, Fight for your life! "


~ A familiar guitar rift starts playing as Memphis Belle and Spruce Goose step onto the ramp. Goose is holding Old Glory and starts waving the flag as Belle points back in the house. Out steps Rick Derringer playing a guitar! The Yardies go nuts for the legend. The Patriots make their way to the ring, waving the flag and high fiving fans as they pass. They hand the flag to a ringside fan who is wearing an American Flag shirt. Derringer stops playing when The Patriots slide in the ring and immediately start attacking The Malvados, who start swinging fists in defense. Belvedere quickly exits the ring as the four start brawling! Mitch calls for the bell, starting the match! ~


Zybala: This match is underway with a fist fight!!

Dean: These suckas have attacked each other over the past few weeks. The fuck did you expect?


~ Hector and Belle are throwing fists at each other while Goose and Victor fight. The Malvados get the upper hand and push their opponents back. The brothers leap up and nail The Patriots with a pair of dropkicks, sending the tumbling out of the ring! Belle and Goose quickly get back to their feet just in time to see Hector and Victor diving through the ropes with a double Tequila Shots (Suicide Dive)!!! It connects and all four land on the grass. The Malvado jump to their feet and high five. They try to pick up their opponents, but Belle and Goose fight back with body punches! The four start brawling all over again as Mitch just watches. The Yardies cheer and encourage the teams to keep fighting! ~


Dean: This is more like a bar fight than a match, and the Yardies can't get enough! Neither can I!

Zybala: It looks like neither can Mitch. He hasn't even started a ten count!

Dean: I don't think he will either. Mitch knows this is to crown out first tag champs. That sucka is probably gonna toss the rule book out the window.

Zybala: I agree. Nobody wants to see our inaugural champs be decided by a dq or count-out.


~ Hector and S.G. start making their way up the ramp as Belle and Victor are still brawling at ring side. Goose kicks Hector in the gut and hooks him for a Suplex on the ramp. He lifts the Malvado up halfway, but Hector struggles and blocks it. Goose tries again, but gets the same result. Hector knees The Spruce Goose in the stomach and drops him with a snap suplex to the grass. Hector still has Goose hooked and drags him back to his feet for another snap suplex. He brings the Goose back to his feet and finishes the Trés Amigos on the wooden ramp!! The Goose is holding his lower back and writhing in pain.

Belle and Victor are still punching away at each other when Victor pushes Belle away to get some breathing room. Belle lands on the laps of The A-List. Lissie looks disgusted as Dylan and Dave are laughing. They push Belle back to her feet and Dave grabs a nearby empty chair. The fans boo, thinking he'll interfere, but cheer when he hands the chair to Belle with a wink. Belle blushes and takes the chair. She turns around to face Victor, only to see him walking over to help his brother. Belle runs up behind Victor and blasts him in the back with the chair! Victor cries out in pain and drops to his knees. Belle cracks him in the back once more, driving Victor to the grass! She raises the charge high for another strike, but gets speared by Hector! He moves over to his brother and helps him to his feet. The Malvados then drag Belle to her feet and hook her for a double suplex. ~


Zybala: It looks like The Malvados are looking for Rompe Cabeza!

Dean: Also known as BRAIN BUSTAAA!!


~ They start to lift Belle, but stop when they see The Spruce Goose standing on the hood of the low rider. He is holding the bumper that fell off and is smashing it against the hood and windshield! The Brothers drop Belle and run to the car to stop Goose. When they get close, Goose holds the bumper close and dives off the car onto The Malvados! He takes them both down with a flying crossbody with the help of the bumper! The three men are laid out on the lawn as Goose makes a cover. The fans are cheering and Mitch just watches. Dear stands up from the announce "table." ~


Dean: Mitch! I'm making it a Falls Count Anywhere match! Get yo' ass out there, sucka!


~ Mitch looks surprised at first but slides under the ropes and runs over to the pile of bodies. He dives next to them and makes the count! ~


Mitch: One……





Two……




No!


~ Both brothers kick out and Spruce looks annoyed. He gets up and climbs back on the hood of the low rider. He looks down at The Malvados, waiting for one of them to get up. Victor starts to stir, slowly getting to his knees. Goose jumps down on a bent over Victor, and goes for The Canadian Destroyer! As he flips over, Victor's foot slips on some wet grass, and he inadvertently drops The Goose with a Kryptonite Krunch! He quickly covers Goose and hooks the leg. ~


Mitch: One…….




Two…….



~ Memphis Belle runs in and throws herself at Victor, breaking up the pin. She tries to help Goose but is dragged to her feet by Hector. He starts chopping away at her chest, driving her back towards the ring. He shoves her back first into the ring apron. Belle cries out in pain as Hector runs up to join his brother. Belle tries to fight back, throwing punches with reckless abandon, but the two on one is two much for her as The Malvados get the upper hand. They set her up for Rompe Cabeza again. Belle is lifted vertically and dropped head first into the ground! Belle is out like a light as the fans boo and cheer. They're torn in this match. Before either Malvado can make a pin attempt The Spruce Goose comes charging up with a chair held high! He takes a wild swing at Hector who dodges out of the way. Goose hits the ring with the chair and drops it, shaking his hands. Victor grabs Goose and hurls him shoulder first into the corner post! Goose is holding his now injured shoulder as Hector grabs him and throws him inside the ring. The Brothers quickly follow and lift up Goose for Dos X! They drop the Patriot with the neck and back breaker combo! Goose is out on the mat as Hector and Victor climb opposite turnbuckles. They leap off at the same time and crush Goose with a double frog splash (El Fin)!! Hector makes the pin as Victor stands guard. ~


Mitch: One…..





Two……





THREE!!!


~ The bell rings and The Malvados jump up and start hugging. A random person grabs the tag team titles from the announce fridge and runs them over to Mitch. Mitch in turn hands them to The Malvado Brothers. Hector and Victor raise the belts high to the approval of The Yardies. A huge "CERO ENGLISH!" chant is heard from the fans as Victor and Hector look at the crowd with big grins on their face. We cut to Zybala. ~


Zybala: Thank you everyone for joining us for this Best Of edition of Outsiders Championship Wrestling. We will see you all at the next Dystopia. I'm Mike Zybala saying Good Fight, Good Night.