Post by zybala on Jun 28, 2021 10:44:46 GMT -5
~ The scene opens up with a shot of some old grainy film playing. We see a shitty boom box placed atop a cheap, fold out table. The play button is triggered. The beat to DA FUNK starts to play. A loud crowd is heard cheering. We zoom out with anticipation only to find that about fifteen people are in attendance. The crowd noise is obviously part of the song. Standing over the boombox is DEAN. He’s got a CLASSIC OCW, BABY t-shirt on along with a pair of board shorts. Shades cover his tired eyes. He takes a seat at the ‘announce’ table. Another cheap fold out table with upside buckets for chairs. Mike Zybala is already seated in his spot. They have headphones on…but there is no PA system. So it’s all for show~
FEBRUARY 5th, 2018… A revolution was born.
~ Clips from the first shows start to play. JAM G rushing The Gimp. The Gimp catching him
then going for a slam but dropping JAM G on his head. River Echo throwing his snake at a drunk Cori Haim. She freaks out as he then elbows her in the head. "Hulking" Herbert Harris falling asleep on Guy Cashe. Bri Carter delivering Daniel Bryan-esq kicks to Billy Thomas. Billy catches Bri's leg and headbutts her barely above the no no spot. ~
An unexpected rivalry is born.
~ We cut to a scene of Dean standing at the announcers "table". ~
Dean: Screw it! I am so moved by both these suckas tragic tales, the winner will be the first Outsiders Championship Wrestling CHAMPION!!
~ Vaughn and Uber Man are seen yelling at each other holding up their respective mops. Uber Man then takes a wild swing with his mop which Vaughn ducks, while swinging his broom at Uber Man's legs, which he hops over. They keep swinging and dodging, and eventually it becomes a mop/sword fight. We cut to Vaughn on the top looking nervous. He balances himself and leaps off with a shooting star legdrop onto the Uber Man! He goes for the cover and Mitch makes the three count!! Vaughn!! There are tears in Vaughn's eyes as he raises the title with pride. We then cut to their second match. Uber-Man and Vaughn shake hands then enter a series of headlocks and reversals and counters. Vaughn whips Uber-Man into the ropes and Vaughn lunges forward with a superkick on the return! Uber-Man falls back into the ropes, bounces back and spears Vaughn to the mat!! Both wrestlers are down! We cut to Uber-man looking down at Vaughn from the top turnbuckle. He leaps off the top with a Swanton! Uber-man crashes on top of Vaughn and makes the cover! Mitch makes the three count! The Ministry of Parkness enters the ring and lifts Uber up his feet. Uber-Man is handed the title as it's his turn to shed manly tears of joy!! ~
While the two champions settle the score, a new crop of Outsiders will do battle to determine a new number one contender!
~ We cut to scenes of various Outsiders hitting their finishers. Lord Allton's L.A.G. Punch, Barry's Surprise Roll-Up, Warthog's Stampede and the rest. ~
Although some people aren't excited for the success that Outsiders has recently received...
~ We cut out to the front of the house to see former OCW General Manager Marcus Welsh protesting against the show. He is holding a "Down With Zybala" sign. A few people with anti-Vargas signs seemed to have migrated near Welsh. ~
But no one can stop Outsiders! Who will walk away victorious and who will just walk away? Everything has led to this moment. Tonight, all Outsiders will test their mettle. Tonight, they will wage war. Tonight, there will be Controlled Chaos!!
~ We cut to a live feed of The Yard! It is packed! The fans are cheering and going nuts! There are more bleachers and more ringside seats! It looks like a mini arena with only the Floor and 100 section seats. Emilo and Eastern European have been replaced with many food trucks in the spare space behind the other two houses that Zybala purchased to make a super backyard for Outsiders. We pan over to a shot above the entrance ramp/backdoor to the main house to see a second story balcony; most likely connected to a bedroom. We see Johnathan Barrows sitting up there, looking down at all the proceedings. He gives the camera a half hearted wave. We see both Belvedere and Mitch already standing in the ring, both looking excited. Next to the ramp is one of those large, inflatable TV screens that was showing the opening video segment to the live crowd. We then pan over to the announce "table." Mike Zybala and President Dean are sitting behind the refrigerator body, both dressed in suits. They couldn't look happier. ~
Zybala: Welcome back to The Yard ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to our very first Outsiders pay per view; Controlled Chaos!
Dean: It's been a long time coming, sucka! When we first started, I promised everyone a revolution and here we are! Despite some pauses, Outsiders is still thriving and we owe it all to you fans!
Zybala: And we owe tonight's pay per view to Johnny Barrows for letting us use the GCWA ppv connections to get it's September spot. Thank you, Jon!
~ Since the commentary table is connected to the speakers, everyone hears this. Barrows gives a wave of acknowledgement and The Yardies start a "Thank You, Barrows!" chant. It lasts about a minute before dying down. ~
Zybala: Tonight, we'll finish up our number one contenders tournament and crown NEW X-Division and X-Factor champions.
Dean: Plus we find out who will be our first tag team champions as The Patriots face The Malvado Bros. Then we will get the rubber match between "The Wrestling Janitor" Peter Vaughn and Outsiders World Champ, The Uber-Man. They have both pinned the other sucka for the title, but pins won't count as they square off in a Last Outsider Standing match!
Zybala: It's gonna be an action packed evening here at Controlled Chaos. Take it away Belvedere!
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Controlled Chaos!! The following is your opening match of the evening and it's scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first.. Emanating from Sally’s Doghouse…weighing in at 231 pounds…. This is Tony the Spider!
~”JUMP” by Van Halen hits!!! A bunch of manufactured smoke via a moderate smoke machine fills the entrance ramp. A loud ‘HAHAHA!’ is heard as a small, rotund figure begins to emerge from within the smoke. It’s TONY THE SPIDER! His circular shades cover his jovial eyes. He’s sporting the signature yellow TONY THE SPIDER spray painted t-shirt. He’s wearing a pair of black biker shorts to go along with an old, dirty pair of white, New Balance shoes. And, let’s not forget, the signature YELLOW fanny pack strapped around his waist. He begins the march down the lawn, jiving his head back and forth like a chicken to the music. He reaches the ring and rolls in under the bottom rope. The Yardies cheer as Tony stands up and poses for them, trying to show off his slightly toned physique which he got from HARD TRAINING AND NOT DRUGS LIKE SOME PEOPLE STILL THINK!! The Van Halen song stops and Belvedere continues. ~
Zybala: The former GCWA TV champ is looking to advance in the tournament and add more titles to his resumé.
Dean: Easier said than done. Tony has to face the luckiest undefeated sucka in wrestling.
Belvedere: And his opponent.. He stands at 5 foot 6 inches and weighs in tonight at 150 pounds! He is The "UNDEFEATED" BAAAAAARRY BAAAAAARRRRROOOOOWWS!!
~ "Oh Yeah!" by Green Day begins to play, Barry steps out from behind the curtain with his arms raised. The Yardies explode with cheers and start chanting "BAAAR-RY!! BAAAR-RY!" Goldberg style. Even The Yardies love this man. Barry makes his way to the ring, looking confident. He enters the ring carefully, but is able to step through without injury. He smiles and climbs the turnbuckle, only getting to the second rope. He raises a hand in the air and gets attacked from behind by Tony. The fans boo as Barry stumbles to the mat, slumped against the turnbuckles. Tony starts peppering Barry's back with his trademark Spider Bite punches as Mitch calls for the bell to start the match. He then runs over and starts yelling a five count at Tony. At four, Tony backs up holding his hands in the air as he lets out his classic laugh; the fans booing the whole time. ~
Zybala: The Spider getting some cheap shots before the match even starts.
Dean: The sucka just really wants to win. With a title waiting for the last two in the tourney and a world title shot waiting for the winner, Tony ain't gonna show any mercy.
~ Barry turns around, and Mitch asks him if he wants to continue the match. Barry nods and Mitch backs away. Tony charges in and crashes hard into the turnbuckles as Barry sidesteps at the last second. The fans start cheering when Barry starts giving Tony a taste of his own medicine. Barry is chopping and punching away at Tony as Mitch comes in with another five count; trying to be fair and impartial. Barry grabs Tony's wrist and tries to whip him in the opposite corner, but Tony reverses. He does a quarter turn, tossing Barry into the ropes. Barry rebounds and goes to spear Tony! Tony plants his feet though and uses his 80 pound weight advantage to catch Barry around the waist, stopping the Undefeated sensation in his tracks. Tony lifts up Barry and hits him with a Gut-Wrench Suplex! The air is driven from Barry's lung when his back hits the mat! Tony quickly covers Barry. ~
Mitch: One……
Two…….
~ Barry kicks out right after two and tries to shove Tony away. Tony doesn't let Barry get away and grabs him in a headlock. Barry's arms are flailing around wildly, preventing Mitch from getting close to check if the hold is legal. Slowly, Barry's arms start to sag. Mitch gets close and immediately starts yelling at Tony! He tries pulling Tony's arm from around Barry's throat, but Tony won't budge. Mitch starts yelling another five count as The Yardies boo as loud as they can! Mitch shouts five just as Tony releases the choke hold. Barry rolls over, gasping for air as Tony stands up and laughs. Mitch is warning him that it was strike two, but Tony doesn't seem to care. Mitch glares at The Spider before going to check on Barry again. Barry is on his hands and knees, slowly pushing himself up. Tony runs over to Barry and leaps in the air with a Fame Asser! Barry managed to slip his head out from under Tony's leg, causing the Spider to legdrop the canvas! Tony holds his rear in pain as the Yardies cheer and try to rally behind Barry. ~
Zybala: Barry got out of there in the nick of time. The streak could have been ended right there.
Dean: It's not over yet, Mikey Z. We don't know if this is Barry's second wind or his last gasp.
~ Tony gets back to his feet, trying to rub away the pain in his backside, just as Barry stands up behind him. Barry goes for the Surprise Roll-Up, but Tony moves out of the way. Tony gets behind Barry and HE goes for the Roll-Up! Barry's back hits the mat, but he keeps rolling backwards while holding onto Tony's arm! He manages to roll Tony to his stomach and sits on his back; wrenching back on Tony's arm (Disarm-her)!! Tony is yelling in pain as The Yardies are chanting for him to "TAP!" Tony is struggling to pull himself to the ropes. Barry is trying to keep him still, but Tony is dragging along the mat. He stretches out his free arm for the ropes, grazing it with his finger tips! Barry sees how close Tony is and releases the arm lock to grab Tony's leg. He tries to drag Tony in the middle of the ring, but Tony kicks Barry away. Tony pushes himself to his feet with his good arm and tries to shake away the pain from the bad one. ~
Dean: We almost had a tap out there! Tony was lucky Barry tried to drag him instead of just pulling back on the arm.
Zybala: Tony might have reached the ropes though. Barry played it smart in my opinion.
Dean: Agree to disagree.
~ Tony charges at Barry only to get met with a boot to the stomach! The Yardies cheer as Barry hooks Tony in a front face lock and does a little moonwalk, dragging Tony with him. He stops then spikes Tony's head to the mat with a B.D.T. (regular ddt)!! Barry goes for the pin, but Tony kicks out right away. The fans boo as this. Barry tries to stay on the attack but the bigger Spider is able to shove away The Undefeated One. Barry stumbles backwards and is laid out when Tony hops to his feet and delivers a lariat! Both men are out on the mat. Tony crawls over to Barry and stands up. He grabs Barry's legs and locks him in a figure four! But he's not done. Tony sits up, grabs Barry's arm and pulls him up too. Tony then grabs Barry in a front face lock/figure four combo!! Barry's arms are flailing around, trying to desperately hit Tony, who just pulls back on the hold. Mitch is checking on Barry as the swinging of his arms lessen. The Yardies are trying to rally behind Barry as Mitch raises his hand. It drops and Mitch shouts "ONE!" He lifts up Barry's hand again, and again it falls… "TWO!!" The Yardies are cheering as loud as they can to wake up Barry. Mitch lifts the hand up high and lets it fall. Suddenly, a fan with a megaphone shouts out "DO IT FOR DEANA, BARRY!!!" Mitch is about to call "THREE" when Barry's hand stops falling. The Yard explodes with cheers as Barry's arm starts to raise up. He starts punching away at Tony's sides, causing him to release the facelock. Barry then uses all of his strength to untangle his legs from Tony's. Both men slowly get to their feet and stare at each other; Barry looking worse for wear than Tony is. ~
Barry: I'm doing this for Deana!
~ The fans cheer this proclamation of love. Tony just grins and lets out his trademark "HAHAHAHAHA!" The fan with the megaphone speaks up again, shouting " Man, he said Fuck Your Wife!" While we don't know if that is what the laughter meant, it looks like that's how Barry is taking it. A look of shock at first, Barry's face morphs into a look of pure rage! ~
Barry: That's my wife, you BASTARD!!
~ Barry runs over with a fist raised and hits Tony in the cheek with the hardest punch he's ever thrown in his life! Tony is knocked back into the corner, looking shocked. He comes out of the corner and puts his hands up. Tony wants to throw down, but we can tell he’s quite dazed due to the shot from Barry. ~
Dean: Looks like we gonna have a good, old fashioned fist fight! Both suckas are almost at their limits though.
Zybala: True, but Barry is being fueled by anger and the power of love. That may give him the edge.
~ Tony throws a punch at Barry, but he ducks it and counters with a body punch. Tony throws another wild punch. Barry ducks that and counters again! Tony takes a wild swing and B Double ducks a third time! Tony staggers forward, finds his footing, turns around and EATS a superkick from Barry!! Tony is spun around by the kick and Barry quickly strikes with The Surprise Roll-Up!! Tony's shoulders hit the mat hard and Mitch goes for the count! ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!!
~ The Yard erupts as Mitch calls for the bell. Barry slowly gets to his feet as Mitch helps him then raises his arm. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and moving onto the next round…… and STILL undefeated….. Barry!!
~ Barry is looking determined. The cheers turn to boos as there is a ruckus in the audience! We cut over to see the fan with the megaphone. It's Dylan Thomas! He's accompanied by his wife Lissandra and Dave Branson. They are making their way down the bleachers, with Thomas yelling at people with the megaphone. ~
Thomas: Out of the way, mouthbreathers! A-List coming through! Move, you fucking hicks!!
~ Dave and Dylan push their way down to the lawn level, with Lissie looking mortified by their behavior. They get to some people in the front row and start pointing to their old seats up in the bleachers. They argue with the fans and Branson squares up, ready to physically "convince" these fans to trade seats with them. Lissie steps forward with her purse out, and gives some cash to The Yardies. They look at the money, shrug and take it. They grab their snacks and make their way up the bleachers. Dave and Dylan smugly sit down as Lissie shakes her head. ~
Zybala: Oh great. Those assholes.
Dean: Of course they would be here. SuckaLord is in the tournament. They rooting for their buddy….. And Barry too I guess.
Zybala: They just better stay out of the matches.
~ Zybala gives The A-List a glare as Belvedere climbs back into the ring…. ~
Belvedere: The following tournament match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first…. (looking close at his cards) Standing at "a manly 6 feet and weighing in at 280 pounds of straight mass".... He is the manly Vic Vinegar!!
~ "He's a man! Such a man!" plays out loudly throughout The Yard. As the second "Such a man!" echoes, Vic Vinegar walks out wearing a pair of sunglasses. He doesn't do his usual Karate moves as he just walks to the ring. Vic is still pissed at Warthog for stealing his duster. He gets to the ring, he removes his glasses and throws them to the crowd. Vic catches his breath, because you know it kind of was a long walk down. He then sort of rolls his way into the ring. He stands up and glares at the house, waiting for his opponent. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent… standing 6'1" and weighing 330 lbs… from Charleston, South Carolina... he is a former United X-Division champion... This is AARON WARTHOG!!
"Everyone knows I'm Hog Wild!"
~ The Yardies cheer as Hank Williams Jr starts to play over the speakers. Aaron Warthog comes out wearing Vinegar's duster! He stands in the doorway, facing the ring and smiles smugly at the angered bodyguard. Warthog makes his way to the ring and enters it. He makes a big show of taking off the duster, and then tosses it out of the ring like it was trash! Warthog's music ends and Mitch calls for the bell. The fans cheer as the match gets underway. Vinegar is livid! ~
Dean: That is no way to treat another man's sweet duster!
Zybala: I don't think Aaron gives a shit. Just look at that cocky smile.
Dean: And look at the anger in Vinegar's eyes. That sucka is out for blood.
~Warthog struts toward Vinegar. He extends his hand. Vinegar doesn’t appear interested as he just glares at the hand. Warthog nods and laughs. He turns to walk to the ropes, leans over and fires a snot rocket onto the duster! The fans boo as Vic loses his shit. He rushes up behind Warthog and starts clubbing him in the back with a forearm. Aaron nearly tumbles through the ropes, but Vic holds onto his singlet. He pulls Warthog back into the middle of the ring, hoists him up and drills him to the mat with a bodyslam! The Yardies roar their approval. ~
Dean: Vinegar ain't fucking around!
Zybala: No shit! Vic didn't take kindly to Warthog using the duster as a snot rag.
~ Warthog gets to his feet quicker than expected. He looks more shocked than hurt. Vic boots him in the gut and hooks him around the waist. He tries to lift him up, but Warthog grabs Vic's legs to block the attempt. Vic tries again and manages to lift his opponent a little, but Warthog still hangs on to his legs. Vic tries one more lift, only for Warthog to counter by lifting himself up and back dropping Vinegar. The big man hits the mat hard. Warthog quickly covers him, but Vic kicks out before Mitch can make a count. Warthog is first to his feet. He drags Vic up from the mat and tosses him into the ropes. Vinegar bounces off. Warthog goes for a big boot, but Vinegar ducks and hits the ropes. Warthog turns around and goes for a clothesline, but Vinegar ducks again! Vic runs into the ropes and bounces off aagan and hits Warthog with a lariat!! He staggers but is still on his feet. Vic then grabs Warthog by the wrist and sends him into the ropes. Warthog bounces back and Vic swings a massive right fist, but Warthog ducks and keeps running. He bounces off the ropes and hits Vinegar with a shoulder block! Vic takes the blow almost in stride. He stumbles back a bit but is still standing. Though he's bent over, holding up a finger, wanting a minute to catch his breath. Warthog agrees as he is panting too. The crowd boos as this time out. ~
Dean: The Yardies ain't happy with the pause in action.
Zybala: Well big men like these two weren't meant to be running around the way they were. I'd rather have them take a breather then pass out from a heart attack.
Dean: True. We never did get around to filling out those insurance forms.
~ We cut to a quick shot of Barrows spitting out his drink when he hears this news. Back in the ring, the two men have started to circle each other, looking for an opening. They resume circling for a moment before simultaneously they lunge forward with a lock up! They struggle against each other, trying to push the other back. Vic then drives a knee into Warthog's midsection before transitioning Warthog into a side headlock. He squeezes Aaron's head a few times, increasing the discomfort. Aaron pushes him off and Vic goes running into the ropes. Warthog drops to the mat, Vinegar hops over her and hits the ropes again. Warthog rolls over to his back and Vinegar hops over him again! He hits the ropes a third time and Warthog hops up to try to go for some move. We'll never know which because Aaron's timing was wrong! As he pops back up to his feet, Vinegar is too close and both men end up colliding face first into each other! Being the shorter man, Vinegar's forehead smashes into Warthog's mouth! ~
Dean: Damn! What a bad shot!
Zybala: Intentional or not, Vic may have knocked a tooth or two loose from Aaron's mouth with that inadvertent headbutt.
Dean: Sucka didn't go unscathed. I think some of Warthog's teeth scratched Vinegar's head. We got a little color!
~ Warthog holds his jaw and looks over at Vic with a bit of surprise. Vinegar holds his head in pain. Warthog backs away then charges forward with the Stampede! Vinegar side steps and Warthog falls halfway through the ropes. As Warthog is hung up on the ropes, Vinegar runs and jumps on the back of Warthog! Warthog is in a bad way, hanging slack against the second rope. Vic grabs him, drags him up and drops him down with a reverse d.d.t.! The fans boo as Warthog is out on the mat and Vinegar climbs to the second turnbuckle. He leaps off and lands hard on Warthog! Vinegar lays on Warthog, gasping for breath as Mitch makes the count. ~
Mitch: One…….
Two……
THREENOOOOOO!!!!
~ Warthog manages to get his shoulder up at the last millisecond! The Yardies cheer and Vic starts to argue with Mitch about the count. Somewhere, The Lost Soul and Will are cheering for the count. Vic gets to his feet and drags Warthog up. He tries to shove him into the turnbuckles, but Warthog reverses at the last second. Warthog grunts loudly as he lifts the near 300 pounded to the second turnbuckle. Vinegar tries to fight off Warthog, but his efforts are stopped with a stiff European Uppercut! Warthog turns around so his back is to Vic, reaches back and pulls him onto his shoulder. Warthog takes a few steps and drives Vinegar to the canvas with Aggression! Aaron covers Vinegar and Mitch makes the count! ~
Mitch: One…….
Two……
THREE!!!!
Belvedere: Here is your winner and moving onto the next round…. AARON WARTHOG!!!!!
~ Warthog rolls out of the ring and makes his way over to "his" new duster. He picks it up, brushes it off and puts it on. Mitch tends to Vic as Warthog makes his way over to the house, holding his arms up in victory! We go over to Dean and Zybala. ~
Zybala: After a clash of the big men, Aaron Warthog moves on in the tournament.
Dean: But now the sucka has to go against the Unbeatable Barry. I don't envy him.
Zybala: Neither do I. But that's later tonight. Right now, we got our tag titles match.
Dean: Let's see how this match came about…
~ We cut to footage of The Patriots standing in front of the garage, cutting a promo. We then cut to the street where we see a beat up low-rider convertible pulling up to the 'venue' being pushed by The Malvados. Victor points towards the makeshift interview area where The Patriots are doing their interview as Hector quickly puts the low-rider in park. They sneak over and attack The Patriots from the left flank, catching them by surprise. They beat down The Patriots before Victor grabs Old Glory, ripping it off the door and drapes it over his shoulders ~
A new team fires the first of many shots in this rivalry, but The Patriots would get revenge later that night.
~ We go to the match between PennyLord and Hector. Hector has Penny in a figure four when The Spruce Goose and Memphis Belle come running through the yard towards Victor! They attack him from behind and just lay a beat down on him! Hector sees this happening and releases the leg lock and slides out of the ring as The Patriots run off. After checking on his brother, Hector enters the ring, and only to be laid out and pinned by PennyLord. As The Family make their way back in the house, The Patriots storm the ring to try to continue the beat down!! The Patriots and The Malvado brawl with each other as that show ends.. ~
The fight even spilled over into GCWA!!
~ We see The Patriots lose to The Sins of the Father. Spruce Goose is laid out after the match, with Memphis Belle checking in on him. Xavier and Marcus are right outside of the ring about to head up the ramp when The Malvados jump the rail and get face to face with them. The S.o.t.F. basically ignore the luchadors. The Malvados turn to the ring and Memphis Belle dives on them! The teams brawl again but The Malvados get the upper hand and end up tombstoning The Spruce Goose onto the American flag! ~
~ The camera cuts to Zybala and Dean. In front of them on the "table" are replicas of the old GCWA tag team titles, with duct tape over the GCWA logo. Writing in black Sharpie on the tape is "Outsiders." ~
Zybala: After weeks of blind sided and sneak attacks, The Patriots and The Malvados finally get to square off in the ring.
Dean: And they'll be fighting for these babies! Who will be our first tag champs? Let's find out!
~ We go back to the ring and Belvedere is ready to do his stuff. ~
Belvedere: The following match is for the Outsiders Tag Team titles and is scheduled for one fall!!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: ¡Proveniente de Not Mexico! Con un peso combinado de 400 libras…. Ellos son Héctor y Víctor .., LOS HERMANOS DE MALVADO !!!!
~ "Si Señor" by Control Machete begins to play over the speakers. A minute passes but there are no brothers. Suddenly, there is a loud crash as a low-rider vehicle plows through the fence! Zybala swears as the fans cheer. Unlike the classics driven by Eddie Guerrero, this is a piece of shit and the reason why is a low rider is mainly due to a bad suspension. It comes to a stop by the ramp, you see the driver hit the switches, hoping to make it jump but instead it looks like a car stalling badly and then the bumper falls off. The Malvado Bros. jump out of the car, not to look cool, the door doesn't open. They look at the bumper and shake their head as they quickly pick it up and throw it in the backseat. They make their way to the ring, one sliding under the bottom rope while the other leaps over the top rope. They each go to a corner jumping onto the second turnbuckle, pumping up the crowd. The music stops and Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And their opponents...Coming down the aisle... weighing a combined 412 lbs... from Washington D.C.... here are Memphis Belle and The Spruce Goose... the Patriots!!
~ The speakers crackle with static for a bit before…. ~
"I am a Real American… Fight for the rights of every man… I am a Real American… Fight for what's right, Fight for your life! "
~ A familiar guitar rift starts playing as Memphis Belle and Spruce Goose step onto the ramp. Goose is holding Old Glory and starts waving the flag as Belle points back in the house. Out steps Rick Derringer playing a guitar! The Yardies go nuts for the legend. The Patriots make their way to the ring, waving the flag and high fiving fans as they pass. They hand the flag to a ringside fan who is wearing an American Flag shirt. Derringer stops playing when The Patriots slide in the ring and immediately start attacking The Malvados, who start swinging fists in defense. Belvedere quickly exits the ring as the four start brawling! Mitch calls for the bell, starting the match! ~
Zybala: This match is underway with a fist fight!!
Dean: These suckas have attacked each other over the past few weeks. The fuck did you expect?
~ Hector and Belle are throwing fists at each other while Goose and Victor fight. The Malvados get the upper hand and push their opponents back. The brothers leap up and nail The Patriots with a pair of dropkicks, sending the tumbling out of the ring! Belle and Goose quickly get back to their feet just in time to see Hector and Victor diving through the ropes with a double Tequila Shots (Suicide Dive)!!! It connects and all four land on the grass. The Malvado jump to their feet and high five. They try to pick up their opponents, but Belle and Goose fight back with body punches! The four start brawling all over again as Mitch just watches. The Yardies cheer and encourage the teams to keep fighting! ~
Dean: This is more like a bar fight than a match, and the Yardies can't get enough! Neither can I!
Zybala: It looks like neither can Mitch. He hasn't even started a ten count!
Dean: I don't think he will either. Mitch knows this is to crown out first tag champs. That sucka is probably gonna toss the rule book out the window.
Zybala: I agree. Nobody wants to see our inaugural champs be decided by a dq or count-out.
~ Hector and S.G. start making their way up the ramp as Belle and Victor are still brawling at ring side. Goose kicks Hector in the gut and hooks him for a Suplex on the ramp. He lifts the Malvado up halfway, but Hector struggles and blocks it. Goose tries again, but gets the same result. Hector knees The Spruce Goose in the stomach and drops him with a snap suplex to the grass. Hector still has Goose hooked and drags him back to his feet for another snap suplex. He brings the Goose back to his feet and finishes the Trés Amigos on the wooden ramp!! The Goose is holding his lower back and writhing in pain.
Belle and Victor are still punching away at each other when Victor pushes Belle away to get some breathing room. Belle lands on the laps of The A-List. Lissie looks disgusted as Dylan and Dave are laughing. They push Belle back to her feet and Dave grabs a nearby empty chair. The fans boo, thinking he'll interfere, but cheer when he hands the chair to Belle with a wink. Belle blushes and takes the chair. She turns around to face Victor, only to see him walking over to help his brother. Belle runs up behind Victor and blasts him in the back with the chair! Victor cries out in pain and drops to his knees. Belle cracks him in the back once more, driving Victor to the grass! She raises the charge high for another strike, but gets speared by Hector! He moves over to his brother and helps him to his feet. The Malvados then drag Belle to her feet and hook her for a double suplex. ~
Zybala: It looks like The Malvados are looking for Rompe Cabeza!
Dean: Also known as BRAIN BUSTAAA!!
~ They start to lift Belle, but stop when they see The Spruce Goose standing on the hood of the low rider. He is holding the bumper that fell off and is smashing it against the hood and windshield! The Brothers drop Belle and run to the car to stop Goose. When they get close, Goose holds the bumper close and dives off the car onto The Malvados! He takes them both down with a flying crossbody with the help of the bumper! The three men are laid out on the lawn as Goose makes a cover. The fans are cheering and Mitch just watches. Dear stands up from the announce "table." ~
Dean: Mitch! I'm making it a Falls Count Anywhere match! Get yo' ass out there, sucka!
~ Mitch looks surprised at first but slides under the ropes and runs over to the pile of bodies. He dives next to them and makes the count! ~
Mitch: One……
Two……
No!
~ Both brothers kick out and Spruce looks annoyed. He gets up and climbs back on the hood of the low rider. He looks down at The Malvados, waiting for one of them to get up. Victor starts to stir, slowly getting to his knees. Goose jumps down on a bent over Victor, and goes for The Canadian Destroyer! As he flips over, Victor's foot slips on some wet grass, and he inadvertently drops The Goose with a Kryptonite Krunch! He quickly covers Goose and hooks the leg. ~
Mitch: One…….
Two…….
~ Memphis Belle runs in and throws herself at Victor, breaking up the pin. She tries to help Goose but is dragged to her feet by Hector. He starts chopping away at her chest, driving her back towards the ring. He shoves her back first into the ring apron. Belle cries out in pain as Hector runs up to join his brother. Belle tries to fight back, throwing punches with reckless abandon, but the two on one is two much for her as The Malvados get the upper hand. They set her up for Rompe Cabeza again. Belle is lifted vertically and dropped head first into the ground! Belle is out like a light as the fans boo and cheer. They're torn in this match. Before either Malvado can make a pin attempt The Spruce Goose comes charging up with a chair held high! He takes a wild swing at Hector who dodges out of the way. Goose hits the ring with the chair and drops it, shaking his hands. Victor grabs Goose and hurls him shoulder first into the corner post! Goose is holding his now injured shoulder as Hector grabs him and throws him inside the ring. The Brothers quickly follow and lift up Goose for Dos X! They drop the Patriot with the neck and back breaker combo! Goose is out on the mat as Hector and Victor climb opposite turnbuckles. They leap off at the same time and crush Goose with a double frog splash (El Fin)!! Hector makes the pin as Victor stands guard. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!!
~ The bell rings and The Malvados jump up and start hugging. A random person grabs the tag team titles from the announce fridge and runs them over to Mitch. Mitch in turn hands them to The Malvado Brothers. Hector and Victor raise the belts high to the approval of The Yardies. A huge "CERO ENGLISH!" chant is heard from the fans as Victor and Hector look at the crowd with big grins on their face.We cut to backstage where something is happening... ~
~ We go to one of the side houses that the men use as a locker room. Aaron Warthog is seen getting ready for his match, in a spare bedroom. He isn’t facing the door as he squeezes into his wrestling tights. So he doesn’t see the two men behind him. ~
Vincenzo: YO, PIG BOY!
~ Aaron turns around only to be met by Tank bull-rushing him into the wall. Tank pins Warthog into the wall with his shoulder allowing Vincenzo to fire some shots to the head. They’re rapid fire and there’s no stopping Vincenzo. Shot after shot after shot after shot Vincenzo pummels Warthog, until Tank stands up and Warthog slumps down into a seated position, blood trickling down his face. Warthog attempts to stand up but Vincenzo punts him in the skull laughing. Vincenzo and Tank fist bumps. ~
Vincenzo: Think that’ll do?
~ Tank shakes his head, motioning for Vincenzo to pull him up. Vincenzo does so, and Tank grabs Warthog into a Powerbomb position and hits the Terrell Bomb into the wall. Warthog slumps down, unconscious and Tank and Vincenzo leave with Vincenzo chuckling away. ~
Vincenzo: Later, chump…
~ We see The Mariachi Band run past The Family and check on Warthog. Zybala and Dean have made the band take some basic first aid classes instead of hiring actual onsite medical personnel. Cheap bastards. We cut back to them… ~
Zybala:...... Damn dude….
Dean: Well, we know who Allton wants to face.
Zybala: It will be an A-List final round match if Warthog can't get back on his feet.
Dean: Shit… Lets just send it over to Belvedere….
Belvedere: The following Semi-Final match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first….Hailing from Mount Olympus…. Weighing in at "a number mortals cannot comprehend"....This is THE IMMORTAL ZEUS!!
~ "Enter Sandman by Metallica" starts to play. Thunder sounds. Lightning Strikes! Sure, this isn't the proper order but, this is the Yard. Nothing makes sense. Zeus emerges, his head held high. He is quickly joined by Hades. They try to stand shoulder to shoulder, which is difficult on the narrow ramp. Hades falls off and lands on the grass as Zeus starts heading towards the ring. Hades quickly follows, acting as if nothing happened.climbs the steps. Zeus climbs in the ring, followed by his brother. The fans, already getting a good buzz on from the free communal beer, start a loud "Zeus!" chant. Zeus finds a nearby corner and ascends, holding his arms out to soak in the "worship." Hades drops to the mat and wiggles around, sticking his tongue out, trying to roll his eyes into the back of the head (only half achieved). Zeus hops down to the mat as Hades rolls out of the ring. Metallica stops playing and Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent... Hailing from Nuneaton, The Midlands, England…. weighing in at 11 stone... he is LORD ALLTON!!!!!!!
~ A melodious tune begins to play as "JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR" hits the speakers and out on the ramp rolls Lord Allton. He is smirking to the crowd who are booing their heads off - not that he cares at all - Allton rolls down the ramp wearing his usual (non Pennywise-inspired) wrestling attire with the leg braces around his legs. He wheels to the ring, parks his wheelchair and Allton stands up! The boos are mingled with some cheers, the loudest being from The A-List. Thomas and Branson get up and start bowing to Allton; shouting "We're not worthy!" Allton turns to give his friends a wink before he gets in the ring. The music stops as Zeus looks curiously at Allton. Zeus asks "Hephaestus?" referencing the handicapped Greek god blacksmith. Allton laughs and shakes his head as Mitch calls for the bell. ~
Dean: Our first semi final of the night! Who will win? The false god or the fake Jesus?
Zybala: Both men looked impressive in their first round matches a few weeks ago. Whoever wins will have the advantage over the other guys.
Dean: True dat. With byes to the semi finals, Zeus and Allton only have this match before the finals while the other suckas have two. Unless this goes the distance, the winner of this match may take the whole thing.
Zybala: Especially after that brutal beatdown by The Family we saw during the break. It will be a small miracle if Warthog can make it to his match with Barry.
~ Allton steps confidently to the middle of the mat and is immediately charged by Zeus! Zeus throws two quick right hands that Allton easily dodges, then follows it up with a couple of kicks at Allton's leg. Zeus hurts his shin against the metal of Allton's leg brace, but stays on the attack! He quickly grabs The Lord of Dashing around the waist, looking for a belly to belly suplex. He can't lift Allton. He tries again, only to hoist Allton a few inches off the ground before setting him back down. Zeus grunts and tries to one more suplex attempt He's unsuccessful. It's like someone keeps rolling fives or lower for his strength checks. Allton finally has enough as he shoves Zeus away, and dropkicks him. The Yardies are torn. They want to hate Allton but they want to cheer him overcoming his disability. ~
Dean: You know, I think I saw this sucka use the same strategy a few Infernos ago…
Zybala: Maybe he has the "keep trying until you succeed" mind set?
Dean: Nah. Maybe he just a fucking lazy piece of shit that did no training.
Zybala: Gods don't need training.
Dean: That's why they ain't around no more.
Zybala:....... Touché.
~ Zeus gets back to his feet and looks at Allton with hate in his eyes. He raises his hand to the sky as if trying to summon the very elements and chops Allton across the chest with all his might! Which does….hold on, dice roll…..14….. OK….. Allton's chest is stinging a bit after the chop. He crosses his arms over his chest as The A-List boos from the crowd; Thomas being the loudest with the megaphone. Zeus slaps down Allton's arms and goes for another Lightning Bolt chop, but Allton catches the arm! Allton pulls Zeus close and wraps him up in the Python Grip!! The "god" screams in pain as he tries to escape from the standing anaconda vice, but Allton really has it cinched in tight. Mitch is asking Zeus if he wants to quit. ~
Zybala: We might get a tap out here!
Dean: Maybe the "god" should put some actual weights on the bar next time he works out. Then he would be able to break this hold.
Zybala: Dude, what is your hatred against Zeus? You've been hating on him all match.
Dean: Mother fucker went in the fridge before the show and drank the last Surge! I had a sticky note with my name on it and everything!
~ While Dean is filled with hate, we'll just go back to the action. Zeus still hasn't tapped out and actually seems to be breaking the hold! Hades hops on the mat to cheer his brother on. Mitch runs over to yell at him to get off. Allton sees this, hauls back his leg and kicks Zeus right between the uprights! The boos drown out the cheers from The A-List as Zeus crumbles in pain. Allton uses this to tighten his Python Grip and force Zeus to the mat! Mitch turns around just in time to see Zeus tapping out! Mitch calls for the bell and Allton releases the hold. Zeus then assumes the fetal position; holding his genitals and moaning in pain. Mitch is confused by this but just shrugs and raises Allton's arm. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and moving onto the final round….. LOOOORRRD ALLTON!
~ The Yardies boo as Allton waves and cackles diabolically. He rolls out of the ring and gets into his wheelchair. He still smugly waves as he makes his way back into the house. Hades is taking Zeus out of the ring as Belvedere gets in the ring. We're going right to the next match. No segment of filler needed! Plus, nobody but one person sent anything in….. Moving on! ~
Belvedere: The following match is a semi finals match and it is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Introducing first….. Coming back to the yard….. This is Barry Barrows!
~ "Oh Yeah!" by Green Day begins to play for the second time this evening. Barry steps out from behind the curtain looking a bit tired after his match with Tony. The Yardies still explode with cheers. They love this man. Barry makes his way to the ring, looking hurt but confident. He enters the ring carefully, but is able to step through without injury. He goes to a corner and waits for his opponent. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent… Please welcome back Aaron Warthog!!
"Everyone knows I'm Hog Wild!"
~ The Yardies cheer as Hank Williams Jr starts to play over the speakers. The song keeps playing but there is no Warthog. Minutes pass by and finally Warthog stumbles out onto the ramp! He has several bandaids on his head to cover the open cut and seems unsteady on his feet. He slowly walks to the ring and rolls under the ropes. He goes to sit in a corner, and Mitch looks concerned. The music stops playing and we can hear the audience murmuring in concern. Mitch asks Warthog if he wants to wrestle and the big guy nods. Mitch looks at him dubiously and asks again. Warthog yells about that title going to be his. Mitch shrugs and calls for the bell, starting the match. ~
Zybala: I admire Aaron's heart, but I don't agree with his decision to go on.
Dean: Like you haven't done the exact same thing over your career.
Zybala: Meh. I still think he should have gone to a hospital.
Dean: You mean "local medical facility?"
Zybala: Ok Vince.
~ Barry doesn't know what to do. He wants to win, but not like this. He tries to convince Aaron to just give up; that they can fight when he's better. Warthog is having none of it. He stands up and charges forward with The Stampede! Barry sidesteps and drops Warthog with a drop toe hold! Warthog hits the mat face first and he is out cold. Barry goes next to him, and after much struggling, manages to roll the big man to his back. He covers Warthog. Mitch makes a mercifully fast three count and calls for the bell. There are scattered cheers in the crowd, but the Yardies are more concerned for Warthog. Dean and Zybala rush to ringside and help Mitch and Barry get Warthog out of the ring. The fans clap as the men help Warthog to the house. A few moments later, Mitch, Zybala and Dean emerge from the house and go to their normal places. ~
Dean: An ambulance has been called. Hopefully they'll be here soon.
Zybala: And hopefully Welsh doesn't get in their way. He's still out there protesting.
~ We cut to a camera in the front yard, where Marcus Welsh is indeed still protesting. He's even seemed to have attracted other protesters! We see signs for the far left, the far right and even a few Anti-Vargas signs! Why though? He's not even involved with Outsiders. You can't reason with protesters, man. We go back to Belvedere, waiting in the ring.~
Belvedere: The following match is your first of two main events tonight. It is a Last Outsiders Standing match and it's for the Outsiders Championship Wrestling World Title!!
~ The Yardies cheer louder than they have all night! This is what they came for! That's what she said. ~
Belvedere: Introducing first.... He stands at Six Feet, Two Inches and weighs in tonight at 196 pounds. He is the only two time Outsiders World Champion!!! This is "The Wrestling Janitor" PEEEETTEERRR VAAAAAAAAUGHN!!
~ "Through the Night" by Arimachi Masahiko hits the speakers as Peter Vaughn walks into the yard. The fans cheer him as well, showing respect to the only two time Outsider's champ. He's clad in his usual janitorial garb and clutching his trusty broom. Vaughn looks around at the new additions to the yard before he makes his way to the ring, high fiving the fans along the way. He brings the broom in the ring with him. Vaughn walks to a corner, climbs to the middle turnbuckle, and holds it high above his head. Vaughn climbs down, places the broom in the corner and turns to face the runway and waits. Belvedere continues… ~
Belvedere: And his opponent….. hails from his secret lair is in Rancho Cucamonga, California. Weighing 190 pounds of justice, he is Outsiders World Champion!!! This is The UUUUUUUUUUUUUBER-MAN!!
~ "Hero" by Nickleback hits the speakers and The Yard is filled with deafening cheers as Uber-Man steps out of the house! He's in his usual costume with the world belt over his shoulder. He makes his way down the ramp to a chorus of "UBER-MAN" chants. He is taken aback by this love and looks misty eyed. Uber is high-fiving everyone he can on his way to the ring. Uber-Man reaches the ring and climbs up on the apron before stepping in through the ropes. He strikes a series of heroic poses in the ring as the music dies down.~
Dean: Aww shit, sucka! Vaughn versus Uber 3 and I can't wait!
Zybala: These two put on one of the best matches in Outsiders history. Hopefully we can see the same action again.
Dean: Who do you think will win?
Zybala: No clue. I've helped train both of them and they're both determined individuals. This could go either way. What about you?
Dean: Man, I don't know. I want both these suckas to walk away champ. I can't pick!
~ The fans cheer as Vaughn and Uber-Man stare at each other. Mitch calls for the bell, starting the match. The two men walk forward and shake hands before backing away from each other. They both assume defensive stances while looking for an opening. Vaughn starts bobbing and weaving, using some of the training he received from Zybala. Uber just keeps his eyes on Vaughn, looking for a chance to strike. Vaughn continues to bob and weave, bouncing around. Uber-Man moves to look for a lock up. Vaughn is willing to engage. At the last second, Uber dives at Vaughn legs, catching the right one! Vaughn hops around, trying to pull his leg away. Uber is on his knees, holding on tight, but Vaughn is able to yank it away!! Vaughn rushes over and grabs the still kneeling Uber in a pinning roll up. Mitch reminds him about the match stipulation. Vaughn gets up rather embarrassed and Uber-Man is quick on the counter attack! He jumps up and dropkicks Vaughn, sending him into the ropes! Vaughn bounces back into Uber-Man's waiting arms. Uber catches him and drops him with AN EGO TRIP!!! The crowd boos and cheers at the significance of this flatliner! ~
Zybala: The Ego Trip!! Uber is sending a message with that one!
Dean: Damn straight. That was the same move used to end Vaughn's first reign as champion.
Zybala: Yeah, because you let that asshole Meyhu in here and gave him a title shot literally right after Vaughn beat Uber to become the first champion.
Dean: I thought it was a good business move. How'd I know that sucka would just try to steal the belt after?
~ Vaughn is out on the mat. Mitch yells out “ONE!” as he begins to administer the count. Uber sits in the corner, waiting. “TWO!” Uber starts bouncing on his feet, trying to stay limber. Mitch yells “THREE!” The Yardies are yelling for Vaughn to get up! Mitch yells “FOUR!” Vaughn's arm begins to move. Mitch yells "FIVE" as Vaughn starts to get up, using the ropes to help him get to his feet. Uber comes running over! Vaughn sees him see and ducks down, pulling the ropes with him. Uber flies over the ropes but lands on the apron. Vaughn grabs Uber by the head and drops down with a modified stunner! Uber topples off of the apron and lands hard on the grass! Mitch goes to count but Vaughn doesn't let him as he stays on the attack. He grabs the top rope and propels himself into the air and lands hard on Uber-Man with a huge splash! Uber starts rolling and coughing as the air was forcibly driven from his lungs. Vaughn walks around to his original corner and grabs his broom to the mix boos and cheers of the crowd. He goes back to a crawling Uber and lays into him with the broom! Each blow is met with a sickening "Thwack!" sound as broom meets flesh. The superhero costume offers little protection. The crowd counts along with each hit. "ONE!" thwack. "TWO!" thwack. "THREE!" thwack. On the fourth hit, Vaughn hauls back and brings the broom down with all of his might! The broom explodes into pieces of kindling as it shatters across the back of Uber-Man! Vaughn is panting with a manic look in his eyes. ~
Dean: Damn, Z. What did you do to him?
Zybala: I made him a winner, that's what.
~ Mitch begins the count. He yells out “ONE!” Vaughn hops on the edge of the ring. "TWO" Vaughn is catching his breath while he keeps an eye on Uber-Man. "THREE!" There is some movement in Uber-Man's hands. Mitch yells “FOUR!” The crowd begins to get antsy, cheering loud to try and urge Uber to either get up or stay down. "FIVE!" Uber rolls over and opens his eyes and squints because of the sun in the sky. Mitch calls out “SIX!” Uber slowly sits up, groaning in pain. Mitch is about to call Seven but stops when Vaughn stands on the apron and leaps off with a double foot stomp! Uber sees it and rolls out of the way, going under the ring. Vaughn lands on his feet and looks confused. Mitch isn't sure what to do. Does he count? He turns to look at Zybala and Dean who just shrug. ~
Zybala: Uber-Man with a smart move going under the ring.
Dean: Yeah. He could be resting or moving around under there for all we know. That vagueness makes it so Mitch can't count.
~ As Vaughn is looking under the ring, Uber emerges from the other side! He sneaks around and blind sided Vaughn with a flying forearm to the side of the head! Vaughn is dazed and knocked to the grass. Uber picks Vaughn up and lifts him up. He holds The Janitor before dropping him with the Uber Slam! It's Vaughn's turn to be laid out on the grass. Uber then hops up on the apron and turns to face his opponent. Mitch has reached a Three count when Uber leaps off of the ring and lands hard onto Vaughn with the Uber-Crush! Uber lays next to Vaughn, trying to catch his breath as Mitch starts the count over. "ONE!" Both men are just laying there. "TWO" still no movement. "THREE" Uber-Man gets up and spots an empty chair that a fan just got up from. "FIVE!" Uber goes to grab the chair as Vaughn starts stirring. Mitch shouts "SIX" as Vaughn rolls to his stomach and tries to push himself up. "SEVEN" Vaughn gets to his feet and looks around for Uber-Man, only to see a chair coming down at him. Uber-Man clocks Vaughn in the head with the chair! Vaughn falls back to the grass and Uber-Man starts laying into Vaughn with several chair shots! When he feels like he's done enough damage, Uber puts the chair back from where he got it and yells at Mitch to start the count. ~
Zybala: Uber really wants to keep that title.
Dean: No shit. Has anyone ever wanted to give up a championship?
Zybala: Shane McMahon giving Mideon the European belt?
~ From the balcony, Barrows yells at Zybala not to mention the enemy! Zybala waves an apology. Mitch is up to "FIVE" and still no movement from Vaughn….. "SIX!" Uber looks nervous and excited…. "SEVEN!" Uber makes a hurry up motion with his hand, trying to get Mitch to speed up the count….. "EIGHT!" Vaughn's hands start twitching, the right one grabbing a fist full of grass….. "NINE!" Vaughn struggles to push himself up….. "TEN NOOOOOO!!" with a last ditch burst of energy, Vaughn hops to his feet as the fans explode with cheers. Uber-Man looks dejected and goes on the attack. As he gets close, Vaughn throws the fist full of grass at Uber-Man's face, some of it getting stuck in the eye holes. Uber stops in his tracks as he tries to clear his mask and eyes as Vaughn gets a little reprieve. Uber unties his mask, takes it off and shakes it out before putting it back on. This is when Vaughn strikes! He grabs the mask and twists it, blinding Uber-Man! As Uber struggles to get his mask righted, Vaughn backs up a bit and charges forward with a running dropkick! Uber is sent crashing into the ringside seats as the crowd scattered. Vaughn starts grabbing chairs and sets them up facing each other, then places chairs on them, making a makeshift table of sorts.Nearby fans offer up their chairs and help him set up this disaster waiting to happen. Uber finally gets his mask situated just in time to see a chair coming his way! The chair hits him square in the head, courtesy of Vaughn! Uber is laid out cold and on the grass. Vaughn drags him over to where he set up the chairs, and sets Uber so he's laying across them. Vaughn then climbs back in the ring as Mitch shouts out "THREE!" Vaughn climbs to the top rope and positions himself to face the still out cold Uber-Man. ~
Dean: What the fuck is Pete thinking?!?! Is he trying to end both of their careers?!
Zybala: No guts, no glory, Dean-o! Pete is laying it all on the line! This is what the Outsiders belt means to these guys!
~ Vaughn takes a big breath, crosses himself, and leaps off the top rope with The Plunge!! He doesn't get all of it though. Instead of the legdrop, it's a regular, though fantastic, shooting star press! Vaughn lands hard on Uber-Man as chairs explode everywhere! The Yardies are going crazy and a "HOLY SHIT!" chant breaks out! Mitch leaves the ring and checks on both wrestlers. A quick shot of Barrows shows that even he is impressed. ~
Dean: Holy Shit is right! That was insane!
Zybala: Vaughn put it all on the line with that one! He wants that belt back.
Dean: You can't be champ if you're dead, though.
~ The Yardies are screaming their heads off trying to rally the fallen wrestlers. Mitch begins a lineint count. "ONE!" Nobody is moving….. "TWO!" Still nothing. The fans of that area have encircled Uber and Vaughn and are urging their favorite to get up. "THREE!" still nothing. That doesn't stop the fans from cheering. "FOUR!" and there is no movement. "FIVE!" and Mitch wonders if he should just call it, but doesn't want a riot. Mitch has reached "SIX!" and still nothing. "SEVEN!" Vaughn starts to stir. "EIGHT!" Uber is moving around as Vaughn tries to use a nearby chair to pull himself up. Mitch yells "NINE!" and Uber-Man has got to his hands and knees as Vaughn tries to kneel up, using the chair to steady himself. Just as Mitch shouts "TEN!" Uber collapses back to the ground as Vaughn uses the last of his strength to push himself up to his feet!! Mitch calls for the bell and everyone goes nuts! Mitch goes to get the title as Vaughn sits in the chair he was holding. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and NEW Outsiders World Champion…. PETER VAUGHN!!
~ Vaughn's music hits as he gets handed the title. He hugs Mitch before holding the title high to the roar of the fans! He starts hugging everyone who lets him; tears falling freely. ~
Dean: He did it! Vaughn is now a three time world champion!!
Zybala: It's all that training. Vaughn just wanted it.. WHOA!
~ Vaughn has run over to the announce fridge and jumps at Zybala, hugging him and thanking him for everything. Zybala hugs him back before trying to push him away. He needs to be somewhat professional, but we see the pride in his eyes. Vaughn hobbles to the ring, climbs in and goes to the center. He holds the belt up high again to another cheer from the fans. He sees Uber-Man trying to get to his feet. Vaughn leaves the ring and goes over to help Uber to his feet. Uber looks disappointed but he's a superhero, he can't shove Vaughn away. Think of what the children would think of such a villainous act.. He accepts the help from Vaughn and the two make their way back in the house. The Mariachi Band runs out and starts setting up the chairs back to their original place. Belvedere climbs back in the ring. ~
Dean: It's main event time suckas! Barry taking on Allton for the right to face the new champ!
Zybala: Both men have earned their right here tonight. Will Allton come out of this as a two time X-Factor champion and number one contender, or will Barry keep the streak alive? Before we start it though…. Mr. Barrows? If you please?
~ Everyone turns in confusion to the "VIP box." Barrows stands up and holds both the United X-Division and X-Factor titles and draps them over the side. We then turn to Belvedere, already in the ring! ~
Belvedere: The following match is your main event of the evening. It is a ladder match for the vacant X-Factor title! Introducing first….. Coming back to the yard….. This is Barry Barrows!
~ "Oh Yeah!" by Green Day begins to play for the second time this evening. Barry steps out from behind the curtain looking tired after his matches. The Yardies still explode with cheers. They love this man. Barry makes his way to the ring, passing by The A-List. They all give him thumbs up. Dylan pats him on the back as Lissie wishes him good luck. He enters the ring and takes a deep breath. He looks above the ramp at the belts and his brother-in-law and gives a small wave. Barrows just waves his hand, barely acknowledging Barry. The music stops and Belvedere continues… ~
Belvedere: And his opponent... Please welcome back to The Yard….. LORD ALLTON!!!!!!!
~ "JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR" hits the speakers for the second time this evening and Lord Allton walks out. The boos are loud and get even louder when Tank and Vincenzo follow their boss. They assist him with walking to the ring, and help him get in the squared circle. Allton and Barry stand in the ring, looking at one another. Belvedere exits the ring as the music stops and Mitch calls for the bell! The fans cheer with "Let's Go Barry" chants filling The Yard! Allton walks over to Barry and starts off with a gentlemanly handshake. Barry accepts the token of respect and clasps hand with The Wrestling Jesus. Barry then tries to let go so they can start the match and Allton holds tight on to Barry's hand. He looks over to Tank and Vincenzo and mouths the word 'NOW!' The Family storm the ring and start to beat Barry down!! The Yardies boo with as much hate at the can muster. Allton gets in a few kicks before demanding a microphone from Belvedere. He gets it and starts to speak over the boos. ~
Allton: Barry, Barry Barry… Did you really believe that WE would have someone like YOU in the A-List? Every win that you have obtained has been a FLUKE! And after my boys have finished with you, you’re going to suffer a defeat, at last! I appreciate everything that you have done for the A-List especially at Heatwave back in August. But as I said at A-List Bootcamp my friend, your scores don’t lie. And now...it’s just further proof of just how worthless you are! Did you really REALLY believe that I really saw any potential in you, Barry? You were a tool to be used. Nothing more. Nothing less. I said this tournament was mine to win Barry, and unfortunately that was aimed at you, too. Still...it’s nothing personal. Only business. It was a pleasure doing business with you, Barry but from here henceforth… your services to the A-List are hereby… Terminated!
~ He kicks at Barry some more and a thought comes to him. ~
Allton: You know what…. Since you're currently in no shape to satisfy your wife, maybe I should enquire as to how she's doing... She did take quite the shine to me at your wedding after all…
~ The fans rage in anger and boo even louder. Barry gets angry at the mention of his wife. He pushes himself up and punches Tank right between the legs! The fans cheer as the giant crumples to the mat. Vincenzo and Allton stare in shock at first before dragging Barry to his feet. Vincenzo holds Barry and Allton knocks him.out with The Legendary Awesome Gorgeous Punch! Barry sags in Vincenzo's arms and gets dumped to the mat unceremoniously. Vincenzo then kicks Barry out of the ring as Allton stands smugly and even takes a bow. Vincenzo leans over the ropes, mockingly shouting at Barry "Do it for Deana" in a nasally voice. The crowd boos, all except for The A-List, who are giving Allton a standing ovation. ~
Zybala: Oh come on. Not like this.
Dean: Allton played all of us. We thought he would be honorable and have a straight up match with Barry.
Zybala: Should've known. All A-Listers are alike.
~ Allton exits the ring and starts heading up the ramp. He gets under the balcony and looks around. He sees no ladders. He looks again. Still nothing. He yells at Vincenzo to check under the ring. Vincenzo rolls out and does as he's told. He pushes Barry out of the way before lifting up the apron. A few seconds later he pulls out a ladder. Vincenzo starts to head over to Allton when he stops. He looks down to see Barry holding his pant leg, muttering about his wife. Vincenzo raises the ladder high and is about to bring it down on Barry when he gets STAMPEDED out of nowhere! The boos turn to cheers as Warthog climbs on top of Vincenzo and starts punching away; getting some payback. The two start brawling and don't notice that Tank has recovered and joined the fray. He grabs the ladder and makes his way to Allton. Barry is slowly crawling after him. Tank sets up the ladder for Allton who starts climbing it. Barry gets an energy burst and dives for the ladder. He pulls it towards him, causing Allton to fall on to Tank. The two land in a heap, the ladder on top of them. The fans see a glimmer of hope and cheer their heads off trying to rally behind Barry. Barry shouts "For Deana!" as he gets to his feet and stands the ladder back up. Before he can climb it.though, he is pulled down by Dylan Thomas and Dave Branson! They try to act all nice at first before laying into Barry. Warthog joins the fray and goes after Branson, but Vincenzo is right behind him. The numbers game catch up as The A-List beat down the two men. Tank and Allton get back to their feet and join in the beatdown.. ~
Dean: This is horseshit! It's six against two! This ain't the match we wanted!
Zybala: I agree…. Fucking A-List is gonna steal another one.
~ Allton stops kicking away at Barry and moves to the ladder. He starts to climb with Tank holding it steady. He gets to the top and grabs both titles. The fans boo with venom and hatred as Allton sits on top of the ladder holding both belts high. He then drops the United X-Division belt onto an unconscious Barry. He yells out that second place is all he'll ever be! The bell rings, calling for the end of the match. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and NEW X-Factor champion and number one contender….. "The Lord of Dashing" LOOOOORD ALLTOOOON!!
Dean: Man, I can't believe this. What a bad way to end our first pay per view.
Zybala: I agree but that's the breaks. Overall, it was a great show though.
Dean: I guess. I just wish the ending would have been an actual contest. Whatever. Thanks to everyone who joined us and helped make Controlled Chaos happen. I'm President Dean.
Zybala: And I'm Mike Zybala saying Good Fight, Good Night…
~ The last shot we see is that of The A-List looking triumphant as they stand over the bodies of Warthog and Barry as the scene fades to black… ~
FEBRUARY 5th, 2018… A revolution was born.
~ Clips from the first shows start to play. JAM G rushing The Gimp. The Gimp catching him
then going for a slam but dropping JAM G on his head. River Echo throwing his snake at a drunk Cori Haim. She freaks out as he then elbows her in the head. "Hulking" Herbert Harris falling asleep on Guy Cashe. Bri Carter delivering Daniel Bryan-esq kicks to Billy Thomas. Billy catches Bri's leg and headbutts her barely above the no no spot. ~
An unexpected rivalry is born.
~ We cut to a scene of Dean standing at the announcers "table". ~
Dean: Screw it! I am so moved by both these suckas tragic tales, the winner will be the first Outsiders Championship Wrestling CHAMPION!!
~ Vaughn and Uber Man are seen yelling at each other holding up their respective mops. Uber Man then takes a wild swing with his mop which Vaughn ducks, while swinging his broom at Uber Man's legs, which he hops over. They keep swinging and dodging, and eventually it becomes a mop/sword fight. We cut to Vaughn on the top looking nervous. He balances himself and leaps off with a shooting star legdrop onto the Uber Man! He goes for the cover and Mitch makes the three count!! Vaughn!! There are tears in Vaughn's eyes as he raises the title with pride. We then cut to their second match. Uber-Man and Vaughn shake hands then enter a series of headlocks and reversals and counters. Vaughn whips Uber-Man into the ropes and Vaughn lunges forward with a superkick on the return! Uber-Man falls back into the ropes, bounces back and spears Vaughn to the mat!! Both wrestlers are down! We cut to Uber-man looking down at Vaughn from the top turnbuckle. He leaps off the top with a Swanton! Uber-man crashes on top of Vaughn and makes the cover! Mitch makes the three count! The Ministry of Parkness enters the ring and lifts Uber up his feet. Uber-Man is handed the title as it's his turn to shed manly tears of joy!! ~
While the two champions settle the score, a new crop of Outsiders will do battle to determine a new number one contender!
~ We cut to scenes of various Outsiders hitting their finishers. Lord Allton's L.A.G. Punch, Barry's Surprise Roll-Up, Warthog's Stampede and the rest. ~
Although some people aren't excited for the success that Outsiders has recently received...
~ We cut out to the front of the house to see former OCW General Manager Marcus Welsh protesting against the show. He is holding a "Down With Zybala" sign. A few people with anti-Vargas signs seemed to have migrated near Welsh. ~
But no one can stop Outsiders! Who will walk away victorious and who will just walk away? Everything has led to this moment. Tonight, all Outsiders will test their mettle. Tonight, they will wage war. Tonight, there will be Controlled Chaos!!
~ We cut to a live feed of The Yard! It is packed! The fans are cheering and going nuts! There are more bleachers and more ringside seats! It looks like a mini arena with only the Floor and 100 section seats. Emilo and Eastern European have been replaced with many food trucks in the spare space behind the other two houses that Zybala purchased to make a super backyard for Outsiders. We pan over to a shot above the entrance ramp/backdoor to the main house to see a second story balcony; most likely connected to a bedroom. We see Johnathan Barrows sitting up there, looking down at all the proceedings. He gives the camera a half hearted wave. We see both Belvedere and Mitch already standing in the ring, both looking excited. Next to the ramp is one of those large, inflatable TV screens that was showing the opening video segment to the live crowd. We then pan over to the announce "table." Mike Zybala and President Dean are sitting behind the refrigerator body, both dressed in suits. They couldn't look happier. ~
Zybala: Welcome back to The Yard ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to our very first Outsiders pay per view; Controlled Chaos!
Dean: It's been a long time coming, sucka! When we first started, I promised everyone a revolution and here we are! Despite some pauses, Outsiders is still thriving and we owe it all to you fans!
Zybala: And we owe tonight's pay per view to Johnny Barrows for letting us use the GCWA ppv connections to get it's September spot. Thank you, Jon!
~ Since the commentary table is connected to the speakers, everyone hears this. Barrows gives a wave of acknowledgement and The Yardies start a "Thank You, Barrows!" chant. It lasts about a minute before dying down. ~
Zybala: Tonight, we'll finish up our number one contenders tournament and crown NEW X-Division and X-Factor champions.
Dean: Plus we find out who will be our first tag team champions as The Patriots face The Malvado Bros. Then we will get the rubber match between "The Wrestling Janitor" Peter Vaughn and Outsiders World Champ, The Uber-Man. They have both pinned the other sucka for the title, but pins won't count as they square off in a Last Outsider Standing match!
Zybala: It's gonna be an action packed evening here at Controlled Chaos. Take it away Belvedere!
QUARTER FINAL MATCH
TONY THE SPIDER vs. BARRY BARROWS
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Controlled Chaos!! The following is your opening match of the evening and it's scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first.. Emanating from Sally’s Doghouse…weighing in at 231 pounds…. This is Tony the Spider!
~”JUMP” by Van Halen hits!!! A bunch of manufactured smoke via a moderate smoke machine fills the entrance ramp. A loud ‘HAHAHA!’ is heard as a small, rotund figure begins to emerge from within the smoke. It’s TONY THE SPIDER! His circular shades cover his jovial eyes. He’s sporting the signature yellow TONY THE SPIDER spray painted t-shirt. He’s wearing a pair of black biker shorts to go along with an old, dirty pair of white, New Balance shoes. And, let’s not forget, the signature YELLOW fanny pack strapped around his waist. He begins the march down the lawn, jiving his head back and forth like a chicken to the music. He reaches the ring and rolls in under the bottom rope. The Yardies cheer as Tony stands up and poses for them, trying to show off his slightly toned physique which he got from HARD TRAINING AND NOT DRUGS LIKE SOME PEOPLE STILL THINK!! The Van Halen song stops and Belvedere continues. ~
Zybala: The former GCWA TV champ is looking to advance in the tournament and add more titles to his resumé.
Dean: Easier said than done. Tony has to face the luckiest undefeated sucka in wrestling.
Belvedere: And his opponent.. He stands at 5 foot 6 inches and weighs in tonight at 150 pounds! He is The "UNDEFEATED" BAAAAAARRY BAAAAAARRRRROOOOOWWS!!
~ "Oh Yeah!" by Green Day begins to play, Barry steps out from behind the curtain with his arms raised. The Yardies explode with cheers and start chanting "BAAAR-RY!! BAAAR-RY!" Goldberg style. Even The Yardies love this man. Barry makes his way to the ring, looking confident. He enters the ring carefully, but is able to step through without injury. He smiles and climbs the turnbuckle, only getting to the second rope. He raises a hand in the air and gets attacked from behind by Tony. The fans boo as Barry stumbles to the mat, slumped against the turnbuckles. Tony starts peppering Barry's back with his trademark Spider Bite punches as Mitch calls for the bell to start the match. He then runs over and starts yelling a five count at Tony. At four, Tony backs up holding his hands in the air as he lets out his classic laugh; the fans booing the whole time. ~
Zybala: The Spider getting some cheap shots before the match even starts.
Dean: The sucka just really wants to win. With a title waiting for the last two in the tourney and a world title shot waiting for the winner, Tony ain't gonna show any mercy.
~ Barry turns around, and Mitch asks him if he wants to continue the match. Barry nods and Mitch backs away. Tony charges in and crashes hard into the turnbuckles as Barry sidesteps at the last second. The fans start cheering when Barry starts giving Tony a taste of his own medicine. Barry is chopping and punching away at Tony as Mitch comes in with another five count; trying to be fair and impartial. Barry grabs Tony's wrist and tries to whip him in the opposite corner, but Tony reverses. He does a quarter turn, tossing Barry into the ropes. Barry rebounds and goes to spear Tony! Tony plants his feet though and uses his 80 pound weight advantage to catch Barry around the waist, stopping the Undefeated sensation in his tracks. Tony lifts up Barry and hits him with a Gut-Wrench Suplex! The air is driven from Barry's lung when his back hits the mat! Tony quickly covers Barry. ~
Mitch: One……
Two…….
~ Barry kicks out right after two and tries to shove Tony away. Tony doesn't let Barry get away and grabs him in a headlock. Barry's arms are flailing around wildly, preventing Mitch from getting close to check if the hold is legal. Slowly, Barry's arms start to sag. Mitch gets close and immediately starts yelling at Tony! He tries pulling Tony's arm from around Barry's throat, but Tony won't budge. Mitch starts yelling another five count as The Yardies boo as loud as they can! Mitch shouts five just as Tony releases the choke hold. Barry rolls over, gasping for air as Tony stands up and laughs. Mitch is warning him that it was strike two, but Tony doesn't seem to care. Mitch glares at The Spider before going to check on Barry again. Barry is on his hands and knees, slowly pushing himself up. Tony runs over to Barry and leaps in the air with a Fame Asser! Barry managed to slip his head out from under Tony's leg, causing the Spider to legdrop the canvas! Tony holds his rear in pain as the Yardies cheer and try to rally behind Barry. ~
Zybala: Barry got out of there in the nick of time. The streak could have been ended right there.
Dean: It's not over yet, Mikey Z. We don't know if this is Barry's second wind or his last gasp.
~ Tony gets back to his feet, trying to rub away the pain in his backside, just as Barry stands up behind him. Barry goes for the Surprise Roll-Up, but Tony moves out of the way. Tony gets behind Barry and HE goes for the Roll-Up! Barry's back hits the mat, but he keeps rolling backwards while holding onto Tony's arm! He manages to roll Tony to his stomach and sits on his back; wrenching back on Tony's arm (Disarm-her)!! Tony is yelling in pain as The Yardies are chanting for him to "TAP!" Tony is struggling to pull himself to the ropes. Barry is trying to keep him still, but Tony is dragging along the mat. He stretches out his free arm for the ropes, grazing it with his finger tips! Barry sees how close Tony is and releases the arm lock to grab Tony's leg. He tries to drag Tony in the middle of the ring, but Tony kicks Barry away. Tony pushes himself to his feet with his good arm and tries to shake away the pain from the bad one. ~
Dean: We almost had a tap out there! Tony was lucky Barry tried to drag him instead of just pulling back on the arm.
Zybala: Tony might have reached the ropes though. Barry played it smart in my opinion.
Dean: Agree to disagree.
~ Tony charges at Barry only to get met with a boot to the stomach! The Yardies cheer as Barry hooks Tony in a front face lock and does a little moonwalk, dragging Tony with him. He stops then spikes Tony's head to the mat with a B.D.T. (regular ddt)!! Barry goes for the pin, but Tony kicks out right away. The fans boo as this. Barry tries to stay on the attack but the bigger Spider is able to shove away The Undefeated One. Barry stumbles backwards and is laid out when Tony hops to his feet and delivers a lariat! Both men are out on the mat. Tony crawls over to Barry and stands up. He grabs Barry's legs and locks him in a figure four! But he's not done. Tony sits up, grabs Barry's arm and pulls him up too. Tony then grabs Barry in a front face lock/figure four combo!! Barry's arms are flailing around, trying to desperately hit Tony, who just pulls back on the hold. Mitch is checking on Barry as the swinging of his arms lessen. The Yardies are trying to rally behind Barry as Mitch raises his hand. It drops and Mitch shouts "ONE!" He lifts up Barry's hand again, and again it falls… "TWO!!" The Yardies are cheering as loud as they can to wake up Barry. Mitch lifts the hand up high and lets it fall. Suddenly, a fan with a megaphone shouts out "DO IT FOR DEANA, BARRY!!!" Mitch is about to call "THREE" when Barry's hand stops falling. The Yard explodes with cheers as Barry's arm starts to raise up. He starts punching away at Tony's sides, causing him to release the facelock. Barry then uses all of his strength to untangle his legs from Tony's. Both men slowly get to their feet and stare at each other; Barry looking worse for wear than Tony is. ~
Barry: I'm doing this for Deana!
~ The fans cheer this proclamation of love. Tony just grins and lets out his trademark "HAHAHAHAHA!" The fan with the megaphone speaks up again, shouting " Man, he said Fuck Your Wife!" While we don't know if that is what the laughter meant, it looks like that's how Barry is taking it. A look of shock at first, Barry's face morphs into a look of pure rage! ~
Barry: That's my wife, you BASTARD!!
~ Barry runs over with a fist raised and hits Tony in the cheek with the hardest punch he's ever thrown in his life! Tony is knocked back into the corner, looking shocked. He comes out of the corner and puts his hands up. Tony wants to throw down, but we can tell he’s quite dazed due to the shot from Barry. ~
Dean: Looks like we gonna have a good, old fashioned fist fight! Both suckas are almost at their limits though.
Zybala: True, but Barry is being fueled by anger and the power of love. That may give him the edge.
~ Tony throws a punch at Barry, but he ducks it and counters with a body punch. Tony throws another wild punch. Barry ducks that and counters again! Tony takes a wild swing and B Double ducks a third time! Tony staggers forward, finds his footing, turns around and EATS a superkick from Barry!! Tony is spun around by the kick and Barry quickly strikes with The Surprise Roll-Up!! Tony's shoulders hit the mat hard and Mitch goes for the count! ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!!
~ The Yard erupts as Mitch calls for the bell. Barry slowly gets to his feet as Mitch helps him then raises his arm. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and moving onto the next round…… and STILL undefeated….. Barry!!
~ Barry is looking determined. The cheers turn to boos as there is a ruckus in the audience! We cut over to see the fan with the megaphone. It's Dylan Thomas! He's accompanied by his wife Lissandra and Dave Branson. They are making their way down the bleachers, with Thomas yelling at people with the megaphone. ~
Thomas: Out of the way, mouthbreathers! A-List coming through! Move, you fucking hicks!!
~ Dave and Dylan push their way down to the lawn level, with Lissie looking mortified by their behavior. They get to some people in the front row and start pointing to their old seats up in the bleachers. They argue with the fans and Branson squares up, ready to physically "convince" these fans to trade seats with them. Lissie steps forward with her purse out, and gives some cash to The Yardies. They look at the money, shrug and take it. They grab their snacks and make their way up the bleachers. Dave and Dylan smugly sit down as Lissie shakes her head. ~
Zybala: Oh great. Those assholes.
Dean: Of course they would be here. SuckaLord is in the tournament. They rooting for their buddy….. And Barry too I guess.
Zybala: They just better stay out of the matches.
~ Zybala gives The A-List a glare as Belvedere climbs back into the ring…. ~
QUARTER FINAL MATCH
AARON WARTHOG vs VIC VINEGAR
Belvedere: The following tournament match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first…. (looking close at his cards) Standing at "a manly 6 feet and weighing in at 280 pounds of straight mass".... He is the manly Vic Vinegar!!
~ "He's a man! Such a man!" plays out loudly throughout The Yard. As the second "Such a man!" echoes, Vic Vinegar walks out wearing a pair of sunglasses. He doesn't do his usual Karate moves as he just walks to the ring. Vic is still pissed at Warthog for stealing his duster. He gets to the ring, he removes his glasses and throws them to the crowd. Vic catches his breath, because you know it kind of was a long walk down. He then sort of rolls his way into the ring. He stands up and glares at the house, waiting for his opponent. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent… standing 6'1" and weighing 330 lbs… from Charleston, South Carolina... he is a former United X-Division champion... This is AARON WARTHOG!!
"Everyone knows I'm Hog Wild!"
~ The Yardies cheer as Hank Williams Jr starts to play over the speakers. Aaron Warthog comes out wearing Vinegar's duster! He stands in the doorway, facing the ring and smiles smugly at the angered bodyguard. Warthog makes his way to the ring and enters it. He makes a big show of taking off the duster, and then tosses it out of the ring like it was trash! Warthog's music ends and Mitch calls for the bell. The fans cheer as the match gets underway. Vinegar is livid! ~
Dean: That is no way to treat another man's sweet duster!
Zybala: I don't think Aaron gives a shit. Just look at that cocky smile.
Dean: And look at the anger in Vinegar's eyes. That sucka is out for blood.
~Warthog struts toward Vinegar. He extends his hand. Vinegar doesn’t appear interested as he just glares at the hand. Warthog nods and laughs. He turns to walk to the ropes, leans over and fires a snot rocket onto the duster! The fans boo as Vic loses his shit. He rushes up behind Warthog and starts clubbing him in the back with a forearm. Aaron nearly tumbles through the ropes, but Vic holds onto his singlet. He pulls Warthog back into the middle of the ring, hoists him up and drills him to the mat with a bodyslam! The Yardies roar their approval. ~
Dean: Vinegar ain't fucking around!
Zybala: No shit! Vic didn't take kindly to Warthog using the duster as a snot rag.
~ Warthog gets to his feet quicker than expected. He looks more shocked than hurt. Vic boots him in the gut and hooks him around the waist. He tries to lift him up, but Warthog grabs Vic's legs to block the attempt. Vic tries again and manages to lift his opponent a little, but Warthog still hangs on to his legs. Vic tries one more lift, only for Warthog to counter by lifting himself up and back dropping Vinegar. The big man hits the mat hard. Warthog quickly covers him, but Vic kicks out before Mitch can make a count. Warthog is first to his feet. He drags Vic up from the mat and tosses him into the ropes. Vinegar bounces off. Warthog goes for a big boot, but Vinegar ducks and hits the ropes. Warthog turns around and goes for a clothesline, but Vinegar ducks again! Vic runs into the ropes and bounces off aagan and hits Warthog with a lariat!! He staggers but is still on his feet. Vic then grabs Warthog by the wrist and sends him into the ropes. Warthog bounces back and Vic swings a massive right fist, but Warthog ducks and keeps running. He bounces off the ropes and hits Vinegar with a shoulder block! Vic takes the blow almost in stride. He stumbles back a bit but is still standing. Though he's bent over, holding up a finger, wanting a minute to catch his breath. Warthog agrees as he is panting too. The crowd boos as this time out. ~
Dean: The Yardies ain't happy with the pause in action.
Zybala: Well big men like these two weren't meant to be running around the way they were. I'd rather have them take a breather then pass out from a heart attack.
Dean: True. We never did get around to filling out those insurance forms.
~ We cut to a quick shot of Barrows spitting out his drink when he hears this news. Back in the ring, the two men have started to circle each other, looking for an opening. They resume circling for a moment before simultaneously they lunge forward with a lock up! They struggle against each other, trying to push the other back. Vic then drives a knee into Warthog's midsection before transitioning Warthog into a side headlock. He squeezes Aaron's head a few times, increasing the discomfort. Aaron pushes him off and Vic goes running into the ropes. Warthog drops to the mat, Vinegar hops over her and hits the ropes again. Warthog rolls over to his back and Vinegar hops over him again! He hits the ropes a third time and Warthog hops up to try to go for some move. We'll never know which because Aaron's timing was wrong! As he pops back up to his feet, Vinegar is too close and both men end up colliding face first into each other! Being the shorter man, Vinegar's forehead smashes into Warthog's mouth! ~
Dean: Damn! What a bad shot!
Zybala: Intentional or not, Vic may have knocked a tooth or two loose from Aaron's mouth with that inadvertent headbutt.
Dean: Sucka didn't go unscathed. I think some of Warthog's teeth scratched Vinegar's head. We got a little color!
~ Warthog holds his jaw and looks over at Vic with a bit of surprise. Vinegar holds his head in pain. Warthog backs away then charges forward with the Stampede! Vinegar side steps and Warthog falls halfway through the ropes. As Warthog is hung up on the ropes, Vinegar runs and jumps on the back of Warthog! Warthog is in a bad way, hanging slack against the second rope. Vic grabs him, drags him up and drops him down with a reverse d.d.t.! The fans boo as Warthog is out on the mat and Vinegar climbs to the second turnbuckle. He leaps off and lands hard on Warthog! Vinegar lays on Warthog, gasping for breath as Mitch makes the count. ~
Mitch: One…….
Two……
THREENOOOOOO!!!!
~ Warthog manages to get his shoulder up at the last millisecond! The Yardies cheer and Vic starts to argue with Mitch about the count. Somewhere, The Lost Soul and Will are cheering for the count. Vic gets to his feet and drags Warthog up. He tries to shove him into the turnbuckles, but Warthog reverses at the last second. Warthog grunts loudly as he lifts the near 300 pounded to the second turnbuckle. Vinegar tries to fight off Warthog, but his efforts are stopped with a stiff European Uppercut! Warthog turns around so his back is to Vic, reaches back and pulls him onto his shoulder. Warthog takes a few steps and drives Vinegar to the canvas with Aggression! Aaron covers Vinegar and Mitch makes the count! ~
Mitch: One…….
Two……
THREE!!!!
Belvedere: Here is your winner and moving onto the next round…. AARON WARTHOG!!!!!
~ Warthog rolls out of the ring and makes his way over to "his" new duster. He picks it up, brushes it off and puts it on. Mitch tends to Vic as Warthog makes his way over to the house, holding his arms up in victory! We go over to Dean and Zybala. ~
Zybala: After a clash of the big men, Aaron Warthog moves on in the tournament.
Dean: But now the sucka has to go against the Unbeatable Barry. I don't envy him.
Zybala: Neither do I. But that's later tonight. Right now, we got our tag titles match.
Dean: Let's see how this match came about…
SEGMENT
~ We cut to footage of The Patriots standing in front of the garage, cutting a promo. We then cut to the street where we see a beat up low-rider convertible pulling up to the 'venue' being pushed by The Malvados. Victor points towards the makeshift interview area where The Patriots are doing their interview as Hector quickly puts the low-rider in park. They sneak over and attack The Patriots from the left flank, catching them by surprise. They beat down The Patriots before Victor grabs Old Glory, ripping it off the door and drapes it over his shoulders ~
A new team fires the first of many shots in this rivalry, but The Patriots would get revenge later that night.
~ We go to the match between PennyLord and Hector. Hector has Penny in a figure four when The Spruce Goose and Memphis Belle come running through the yard towards Victor! They attack him from behind and just lay a beat down on him! Hector sees this happening and releases the leg lock and slides out of the ring as The Patriots run off. After checking on his brother, Hector enters the ring, and only to be laid out and pinned by PennyLord. As The Family make their way back in the house, The Patriots storm the ring to try to continue the beat down!! The Patriots and The Malvado brawl with each other as that show ends.. ~
The fight even spilled over into GCWA!!
~ We see The Patriots lose to The Sins of the Father. Spruce Goose is laid out after the match, with Memphis Belle checking in on him. Xavier and Marcus are right outside of the ring about to head up the ramp when The Malvados jump the rail and get face to face with them. The S.o.t.F. basically ignore the luchadors. The Malvados turn to the ring and Memphis Belle dives on them! The teams brawl again but The Malvados get the upper hand and end up tombstoning The Spruce Goose onto the American flag! ~
~ The camera cuts to Zybala and Dean. In front of them on the "table" are replicas of the old GCWA tag team titles, with duct tape over the GCWA logo. Writing in black Sharpie on the tape is "Outsiders." ~
Zybala: After weeks of blind sided and sneak attacks, The Patriots and The Malvados finally get to square off in the ring.
Dean: And they'll be fighting for these babies! Who will be our first tag champs? Let's find out!
~ We go back to the ring and Belvedere is ready to do his stuff. ~
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
THE PATRIOTS vs THE MALVADOS
Belvedere: The following match is for the Outsiders Tag Team titles and is scheduled for one fall!!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: ¡Proveniente de Not Mexico! Con un peso combinado de 400 libras…. Ellos son Héctor y Víctor .., LOS HERMANOS DE MALVADO !!!!
~ "Si Señor" by Control Machete begins to play over the speakers. A minute passes but there are no brothers. Suddenly, there is a loud crash as a low-rider vehicle plows through the fence! Zybala swears as the fans cheer. Unlike the classics driven by Eddie Guerrero, this is a piece of shit and the reason why is a low rider is mainly due to a bad suspension. It comes to a stop by the ramp, you see the driver hit the switches, hoping to make it jump but instead it looks like a car stalling badly and then the bumper falls off. The Malvado Bros. jump out of the car, not to look cool, the door doesn't open. They look at the bumper and shake their head as they quickly pick it up and throw it in the backseat. They make their way to the ring, one sliding under the bottom rope while the other leaps over the top rope. They each go to a corner jumping onto the second turnbuckle, pumping up the crowd. The music stops and Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And their opponents...Coming down the aisle... weighing a combined 412 lbs... from Washington D.C.... here are Memphis Belle and The Spruce Goose... the Patriots!!
~ The speakers crackle with static for a bit before…. ~
"I am a Real American… Fight for the rights of every man… I am a Real American… Fight for what's right, Fight for your life! "
~ A familiar guitar rift starts playing as Memphis Belle and Spruce Goose step onto the ramp. Goose is holding Old Glory and starts waving the flag as Belle points back in the house. Out steps Rick Derringer playing a guitar! The Yardies go nuts for the legend. The Patriots make their way to the ring, waving the flag and high fiving fans as they pass. They hand the flag to a ringside fan who is wearing an American Flag shirt. Derringer stops playing when The Patriots slide in the ring and immediately start attacking The Malvados, who start swinging fists in defense. Belvedere quickly exits the ring as the four start brawling! Mitch calls for the bell, starting the match! ~
Zybala: This match is underway with a fist fight!!
Dean: These suckas have attacked each other over the past few weeks. The fuck did you expect?
~ Hector and Belle are throwing fists at each other while Goose and Victor fight. The Malvados get the upper hand and push their opponents back. The brothers leap up and nail The Patriots with a pair of dropkicks, sending the tumbling out of the ring! Belle and Goose quickly get back to their feet just in time to see Hector and Victor diving through the ropes with a double Tequila Shots (Suicide Dive)!!! It connects and all four land on the grass. The Malvado jump to their feet and high five. They try to pick up their opponents, but Belle and Goose fight back with body punches! The four start brawling all over again as Mitch just watches. The Yardies cheer and encourage the teams to keep fighting! ~
Dean: This is more like a bar fight than a match, and the Yardies can't get enough! Neither can I!
Zybala: It looks like neither can Mitch. He hasn't even started a ten count!
Dean: I don't think he will either. Mitch knows this is to crown out first tag champs. That sucka is probably gonna toss the rule book out the window.
Zybala: I agree. Nobody wants to see our inaugural champs be decided by a dq or count-out.
~ Hector and S.G. start making their way up the ramp as Belle and Victor are still brawling at ring side. Goose kicks Hector in the gut and hooks him for a Suplex on the ramp. He lifts the Malvado up halfway, but Hector struggles and blocks it. Goose tries again, but gets the same result. Hector knees The Spruce Goose in the stomach and drops him with a snap suplex to the grass. Hector still has Goose hooked and drags him back to his feet for another snap suplex. He brings the Goose back to his feet and finishes the Trés Amigos on the wooden ramp!! The Goose is holding his lower back and writhing in pain.
Belle and Victor are still punching away at each other when Victor pushes Belle away to get some breathing room. Belle lands on the laps of The A-List. Lissie looks disgusted as Dylan and Dave are laughing. They push Belle back to her feet and Dave grabs a nearby empty chair. The fans boo, thinking he'll interfere, but cheer when he hands the chair to Belle with a wink. Belle blushes and takes the chair. She turns around to face Victor, only to see him walking over to help his brother. Belle runs up behind Victor and blasts him in the back with the chair! Victor cries out in pain and drops to his knees. Belle cracks him in the back once more, driving Victor to the grass! She raises the charge high for another strike, but gets speared by Hector! He moves over to his brother and helps him to his feet. The Malvados then drag Belle to her feet and hook her for a double suplex. ~
Zybala: It looks like The Malvados are looking for Rompe Cabeza!
Dean: Also known as BRAIN BUSTAAA!!
~ They start to lift Belle, but stop when they see The Spruce Goose standing on the hood of the low rider. He is holding the bumper that fell off and is smashing it against the hood and windshield! The Brothers drop Belle and run to the car to stop Goose. When they get close, Goose holds the bumper close and dives off the car onto The Malvados! He takes them both down with a flying crossbody with the help of the bumper! The three men are laid out on the lawn as Goose makes a cover. The fans are cheering and Mitch just watches. Dear stands up from the announce "table." ~
Dean: Mitch! I'm making it a Falls Count Anywhere match! Get yo' ass out there, sucka!
~ Mitch looks surprised at first but slides under the ropes and runs over to the pile of bodies. He dives next to them and makes the count! ~
Mitch: One……
Two……
No!
~ Both brothers kick out and Spruce looks annoyed. He gets up and climbs back on the hood of the low rider. He looks down at The Malvados, waiting for one of them to get up. Victor starts to stir, slowly getting to his knees. Goose jumps down on a bent over Victor, and goes for The Canadian Destroyer! As he flips over, Victor's foot slips on some wet grass, and he inadvertently drops The Goose with a Kryptonite Krunch! He quickly covers Goose and hooks the leg. ~
Mitch: One…….
Two…….
~ Memphis Belle runs in and throws herself at Victor, breaking up the pin. She tries to help Goose but is dragged to her feet by Hector. He starts chopping away at her chest, driving her back towards the ring. He shoves her back first into the ring apron. Belle cries out in pain as Hector runs up to join his brother. Belle tries to fight back, throwing punches with reckless abandon, but the two on one is two much for her as The Malvados get the upper hand. They set her up for Rompe Cabeza again. Belle is lifted vertically and dropped head first into the ground! Belle is out like a light as the fans boo and cheer. They're torn in this match. Before either Malvado can make a pin attempt The Spruce Goose comes charging up with a chair held high! He takes a wild swing at Hector who dodges out of the way. Goose hits the ring with the chair and drops it, shaking his hands. Victor grabs Goose and hurls him shoulder first into the corner post! Goose is holding his now injured shoulder as Hector grabs him and throws him inside the ring. The Brothers quickly follow and lift up Goose for Dos X! They drop the Patriot with the neck and back breaker combo! Goose is out on the mat as Hector and Victor climb opposite turnbuckles. They leap off at the same time and crush Goose with a double frog splash (El Fin)!! Hector makes the pin as Victor stands guard. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!!
~ The bell rings and The Malvados jump up and start hugging. A random person grabs the tag team titles from the announce fridge and runs them over to Mitch. Mitch in turn hands them to The Malvado Brothers. Hector and Victor raise the belts high to the approval of The Yardies. A huge "CERO ENGLISH!" chant is heard from the fans as Victor and Hector look at the crowd with big grins on their face.We cut to backstage where something is happening... ~
SEGMENT
~ We go to one of the side houses that the men use as a locker room. Aaron Warthog is seen getting ready for his match, in a spare bedroom. He isn’t facing the door as he squeezes into his wrestling tights. So he doesn’t see the two men behind him. ~
Vincenzo: YO, PIG BOY!
~ Aaron turns around only to be met by Tank bull-rushing him into the wall. Tank pins Warthog into the wall with his shoulder allowing Vincenzo to fire some shots to the head. They’re rapid fire and there’s no stopping Vincenzo. Shot after shot after shot after shot Vincenzo pummels Warthog, until Tank stands up and Warthog slumps down into a seated position, blood trickling down his face. Warthog attempts to stand up but Vincenzo punts him in the skull laughing. Vincenzo and Tank fist bumps. ~
Vincenzo: Think that’ll do?
~ Tank shakes his head, motioning for Vincenzo to pull him up. Vincenzo does so, and Tank grabs Warthog into a Powerbomb position and hits the Terrell Bomb into the wall. Warthog slumps down, unconscious and Tank and Vincenzo leave with Vincenzo chuckling away. ~
Vincenzo: Later, chump…
~ We see The Mariachi Band run past The Family and check on Warthog. Zybala and Dean have made the band take some basic first aid classes instead of hiring actual onsite medical personnel. Cheap bastards. We cut back to them… ~
Zybala:...... Damn dude….
Dean: Well, we know who Allton wants to face.
Zybala: It will be an A-List final round match if Warthog can't get back on his feet.
Dean: Shit… Lets just send it over to Belvedere….
SEMI FINALS MATCH
LORD ALLTON vs ZEUS
Belvedere: The following Semi-Final match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first….Hailing from Mount Olympus…. Weighing in at "a number mortals cannot comprehend"....This is THE IMMORTAL ZEUS!!
~ "Enter Sandman by Metallica" starts to play. Thunder sounds. Lightning Strikes! Sure, this isn't the proper order but, this is the Yard. Nothing makes sense. Zeus emerges, his head held high. He is quickly joined by Hades. They try to stand shoulder to shoulder, which is difficult on the narrow ramp. Hades falls off and lands on the grass as Zeus starts heading towards the ring. Hades quickly follows, acting as if nothing happened.climbs the steps. Zeus climbs in the ring, followed by his brother. The fans, already getting a good buzz on from the free communal beer, start a loud "Zeus!" chant. Zeus finds a nearby corner and ascends, holding his arms out to soak in the "worship." Hades drops to the mat and wiggles around, sticking his tongue out, trying to roll his eyes into the back of the head (only half achieved). Zeus hops down to the mat as Hades rolls out of the ring. Metallica stops playing and Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent... Hailing from Nuneaton, The Midlands, England…. weighing in at 11 stone... he is LORD ALLTON!!!!!!!
~ A melodious tune begins to play as "JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR" hits the speakers and out on the ramp rolls Lord Allton. He is smirking to the crowd who are booing their heads off - not that he cares at all - Allton rolls down the ramp wearing his usual (non Pennywise-inspired) wrestling attire with the leg braces around his legs. He wheels to the ring, parks his wheelchair and Allton stands up! The boos are mingled with some cheers, the loudest being from The A-List. Thomas and Branson get up and start bowing to Allton; shouting "We're not worthy!" Allton turns to give his friends a wink before he gets in the ring. The music stops as Zeus looks curiously at Allton. Zeus asks "Hephaestus?" referencing the handicapped Greek god blacksmith. Allton laughs and shakes his head as Mitch calls for the bell. ~
Dean: Our first semi final of the night! Who will win? The false god or the fake Jesus?
Zybala: Both men looked impressive in their first round matches a few weeks ago. Whoever wins will have the advantage over the other guys.
Dean: True dat. With byes to the semi finals, Zeus and Allton only have this match before the finals while the other suckas have two. Unless this goes the distance, the winner of this match may take the whole thing.
Zybala: Especially after that brutal beatdown by The Family we saw during the break. It will be a small miracle if Warthog can make it to his match with Barry.
~ Allton steps confidently to the middle of the mat and is immediately charged by Zeus! Zeus throws two quick right hands that Allton easily dodges, then follows it up with a couple of kicks at Allton's leg. Zeus hurts his shin against the metal of Allton's leg brace, but stays on the attack! He quickly grabs The Lord of Dashing around the waist, looking for a belly to belly suplex. He can't lift Allton. He tries again, only to hoist Allton a few inches off the ground before setting him back down. Zeus grunts and tries to one more suplex attempt He's unsuccessful. It's like someone keeps rolling fives or lower for his strength checks. Allton finally has enough as he shoves Zeus away, and dropkicks him. The Yardies are torn. They want to hate Allton but they want to cheer him overcoming his disability. ~
Dean: You know, I think I saw this sucka use the same strategy a few Infernos ago…
Zybala: Maybe he has the "keep trying until you succeed" mind set?
Dean: Nah. Maybe he just a fucking lazy piece of shit that did no training.
Zybala: Gods don't need training.
Dean: That's why they ain't around no more.
Zybala:....... Touché.
~ Zeus gets back to his feet and looks at Allton with hate in his eyes. He raises his hand to the sky as if trying to summon the very elements and chops Allton across the chest with all his might! Which does….hold on, dice roll…..14….. OK….. Allton's chest is stinging a bit after the chop. He crosses his arms over his chest as The A-List boos from the crowd; Thomas being the loudest with the megaphone. Zeus slaps down Allton's arms and goes for another Lightning Bolt chop, but Allton catches the arm! Allton pulls Zeus close and wraps him up in the Python Grip!! The "god" screams in pain as he tries to escape from the standing anaconda vice, but Allton really has it cinched in tight. Mitch is asking Zeus if he wants to quit. ~
Zybala: We might get a tap out here!
Dean: Maybe the "god" should put some actual weights on the bar next time he works out. Then he would be able to break this hold.
Zybala: Dude, what is your hatred against Zeus? You've been hating on him all match.
Dean: Mother fucker went in the fridge before the show and drank the last Surge! I had a sticky note with my name on it and everything!
~ While Dean is filled with hate, we'll just go back to the action. Zeus still hasn't tapped out and actually seems to be breaking the hold! Hades hops on the mat to cheer his brother on. Mitch runs over to yell at him to get off. Allton sees this, hauls back his leg and kicks Zeus right between the uprights! The boos drown out the cheers from The A-List as Zeus crumbles in pain. Allton uses this to tighten his Python Grip and force Zeus to the mat! Mitch turns around just in time to see Zeus tapping out! Mitch calls for the bell and Allton releases the hold. Zeus then assumes the fetal position; holding his genitals and moaning in pain. Mitch is confused by this but just shrugs and raises Allton's arm. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and moving onto the final round….. LOOOORRRD ALLTON!
~ The Yardies boo as Allton waves and cackles diabolically. He rolls out of the ring and gets into his wheelchair. He still smugly waves as he makes his way back into the house. Hades is taking Zeus out of the ring as Belvedere gets in the ring. We're going right to the next match. No segment of filler needed! Plus, nobody but one person sent anything in….. Moving on! ~
SEMI FINALS MATCH
BARRY BARROWS vs AARON WARTHOG
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Introducing first….. Coming back to the yard….. This is Barry Barrows!
~ "Oh Yeah!" by Green Day begins to play for the second time this evening. Barry steps out from behind the curtain looking a bit tired after his match with Tony. The Yardies still explode with cheers. They love this man. Barry makes his way to the ring, looking hurt but confident. He enters the ring carefully, but is able to step through without injury. He goes to a corner and waits for his opponent. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent… Please welcome back Aaron Warthog!!
"Everyone knows I'm Hog Wild!"
~ The Yardies cheer as Hank Williams Jr starts to play over the speakers. The song keeps playing but there is no Warthog. Minutes pass by and finally Warthog stumbles out onto the ramp! He has several bandaids on his head to cover the open cut and seems unsteady on his feet. He slowly walks to the ring and rolls under the ropes. He goes to sit in a corner, and Mitch looks concerned. The music stops playing and we can hear the audience murmuring in concern. Mitch asks Warthog if he wants to wrestle and the big guy nods. Mitch looks at him dubiously and asks again. Warthog yells about that title going to be his. Mitch shrugs and calls for the bell, starting the match. ~
Zybala: I admire Aaron's heart, but I don't agree with his decision to go on.
Dean: Like you haven't done the exact same thing over your career.
Zybala: Meh. I still think he should have gone to a hospital.
Dean: You mean "local medical facility?"
Zybala: Ok Vince.
~ Barry doesn't know what to do. He wants to win, but not like this. He tries to convince Aaron to just give up; that they can fight when he's better. Warthog is having none of it. He stands up and charges forward with The Stampede! Barry sidesteps and drops Warthog with a drop toe hold! Warthog hits the mat face first and he is out cold. Barry goes next to him, and after much struggling, manages to roll the big man to his back. He covers Warthog. Mitch makes a mercifully fast three count and calls for the bell. There are scattered cheers in the crowd, but the Yardies are more concerned for Warthog. Dean and Zybala rush to ringside and help Mitch and Barry get Warthog out of the ring. The fans clap as the men help Warthog to the house. A few moments later, Mitch, Zybala and Dean emerge from the house and go to their normal places. ~
Dean: An ambulance has been called. Hopefully they'll be here soon.
Zybala: And hopefully Welsh doesn't get in their way. He's still out there protesting.
~ We cut to a camera in the front yard, where Marcus Welsh is indeed still protesting. He's even seemed to have attracted other protesters! We see signs for the far left, the far right and even a few Anti-Vargas signs! Why though? He's not even involved with Outsiders. You can't reason with protesters, man. We go back to Belvedere, waiting in the ring.~
OUTSIDERS WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
"THE JANITOR" PETER VAUGHN vs THE UBER-MAN ( C )
Belvedere: The following match is your first of two main events tonight. It is a Last Outsiders Standing match and it's for the Outsiders Championship Wrestling World Title!!
~ The Yardies cheer louder than they have all night! This is what they came for! That's what she said. ~
Belvedere: Introducing first.... He stands at Six Feet, Two Inches and weighs in tonight at 196 pounds. He is the only two time Outsiders World Champion!!! This is "The Wrestling Janitor" PEEEETTEERRR VAAAAAAAAUGHN!!
~ "Through the Night" by Arimachi Masahiko hits the speakers as Peter Vaughn walks into the yard. The fans cheer him as well, showing respect to the only two time Outsider's champ. He's clad in his usual janitorial garb and clutching his trusty broom. Vaughn looks around at the new additions to the yard before he makes his way to the ring, high fiving the fans along the way. He brings the broom in the ring with him. Vaughn walks to a corner, climbs to the middle turnbuckle, and holds it high above his head. Vaughn climbs down, places the broom in the corner and turns to face the runway and waits. Belvedere continues… ~
Belvedere: And his opponent….. hails from his secret lair is in Rancho Cucamonga, California. Weighing 190 pounds of justice, he is Outsiders World Champion!!! This is The UUUUUUUUUUUUUBER-MAN!!
~ "Hero" by Nickleback hits the speakers and The Yard is filled with deafening cheers as Uber-Man steps out of the house! He's in his usual costume with the world belt over his shoulder. He makes his way down the ramp to a chorus of "UBER-MAN" chants. He is taken aback by this love and looks misty eyed. Uber is high-fiving everyone he can on his way to the ring. Uber-Man reaches the ring and climbs up on the apron before stepping in through the ropes. He strikes a series of heroic poses in the ring as the music dies down.~
Dean: Aww shit, sucka! Vaughn versus Uber 3 and I can't wait!
Zybala: These two put on one of the best matches in Outsiders history. Hopefully we can see the same action again.
Dean: Who do you think will win?
Zybala: No clue. I've helped train both of them and they're both determined individuals. This could go either way. What about you?
Dean: Man, I don't know. I want both these suckas to walk away champ. I can't pick!
~ The fans cheer as Vaughn and Uber-Man stare at each other. Mitch calls for the bell, starting the match. The two men walk forward and shake hands before backing away from each other. They both assume defensive stances while looking for an opening. Vaughn starts bobbing and weaving, using some of the training he received from Zybala. Uber just keeps his eyes on Vaughn, looking for a chance to strike. Vaughn continues to bob and weave, bouncing around. Uber-Man moves to look for a lock up. Vaughn is willing to engage. At the last second, Uber dives at Vaughn legs, catching the right one! Vaughn hops around, trying to pull his leg away. Uber is on his knees, holding on tight, but Vaughn is able to yank it away!! Vaughn rushes over and grabs the still kneeling Uber in a pinning roll up. Mitch reminds him about the match stipulation. Vaughn gets up rather embarrassed and Uber-Man is quick on the counter attack! He jumps up and dropkicks Vaughn, sending him into the ropes! Vaughn bounces back into Uber-Man's waiting arms. Uber catches him and drops him with AN EGO TRIP!!! The crowd boos and cheers at the significance of this flatliner! ~
Zybala: The Ego Trip!! Uber is sending a message with that one!
Dean: Damn straight. That was the same move used to end Vaughn's first reign as champion.
Zybala: Yeah, because you let that asshole Meyhu in here and gave him a title shot literally right after Vaughn beat Uber to become the first champion.
Dean: I thought it was a good business move. How'd I know that sucka would just try to steal the belt after?
~ Vaughn is out on the mat. Mitch yells out “ONE!” as he begins to administer the count. Uber sits in the corner, waiting. “TWO!” Uber starts bouncing on his feet, trying to stay limber. Mitch yells “THREE!” The Yardies are yelling for Vaughn to get up! Mitch yells “FOUR!” Vaughn's arm begins to move. Mitch yells "FIVE" as Vaughn starts to get up, using the ropes to help him get to his feet. Uber comes running over! Vaughn sees him see and ducks down, pulling the ropes with him. Uber flies over the ropes but lands on the apron. Vaughn grabs Uber by the head and drops down with a modified stunner! Uber topples off of the apron and lands hard on the grass! Mitch goes to count but Vaughn doesn't let him as he stays on the attack. He grabs the top rope and propels himself into the air and lands hard on Uber-Man with a huge splash! Uber starts rolling and coughing as the air was forcibly driven from his lungs. Vaughn walks around to his original corner and grabs his broom to the mix boos and cheers of the crowd. He goes back to a crawling Uber and lays into him with the broom! Each blow is met with a sickening "Thwack!" sound as broom meets flesh. The superhero costume offers little protection. The crowd counts along with each hit. "ONE!" thwack. "TWO!" thwack. "THREE!" thwack. On the fourth hit, Vaughn hauls back and brings the broom down with all of his might! The broom explodes into pieces of kindling as it shatters across the back of Uber-Man! Vaughn is panting with a manic look in his eyes. ~
Dean: Damn, Z. What did you do to him?
Zybala: I made him a winner, that's what.
~ Mitch begins the count. He yells out “ONE!” Vaughn hops on the edge of the ring. "TWO" Vaughn is catching his breath while he keeps an eye on Uber-Man. "THREE!" There is some movement in Uber-Man's hands. Mitch yells “FOUR!” The crowd begins to get antsy, cheering loud to try and urge Uber to either get up or stay down. "FIVE!" Uber rolls over and opens his eyes and squints because of the sun in the sky. Mitch calls out “SIX!” Uber slowly sits up, groaning in pain. Mitch is about to call Seven but stops when Vaughn stands on the apron and leaps off with a double foot stomp! Uber sees it and rolls out of the way, going under the ring. Vaughn lands on his feet and looks confused. Mitch isn't sure what to do. Does he count? He turns to look at Zybala and Dean who just shrug. ~
Zybala: Uber-Man with a smart move going under the ring.
Dean: Yeah. He could be resting or moving around under there for all we know. That vagueness makes it so Mitch can't count.
~ As Vaughn is looking under the ring, Uber emerges from the other side! He sneaks around and blind sided Vaughn with a flying forearm to the side of the head! Vaughn is dazed and knocked to the grass. Uber picks Vaughn up and lifts him up. He holds The Janitor before dropping him with the Uber Slam! It's Vaughn's turn to be laid out on the grass. Uber then hops up on the apron and turns to face his opponent. Mitch has reached a Three count when Uber leaps off of the ring and lands hard onto Vaughn with the Uber-Crush! Uber lays next to Vaughn, trying to catch his breath as Mitch starts the count over. "ONE!" Both men are just laying there. "TWO" still no movement. "THREE" Uber-Man gets up and spots an empty chair that a fan just got up from. "FIVE!" Uber goes to grab the chair as Vaughn starts stirring. Mitch shouts "SIX" as Vaughn rolls to his stomach and tries to push himself up. "SEVEN" Vaughn gets to his feet and looks around for Uber-Man, only to see a chair coming down at him. Uber-Man clocks Vaughn in the head with the chair! Vaughn falls back to the grass and Uber-Man starts laying into Vaughn with several chair shots! When he feels like he's done enough damage, Uber puts the chair back from where he got it and yells at Mitch to start the count. ~
Zybala: Uber really wants to keep that title.
Dean: No shit. Has anyone ever wanted to give up a championship?
Zybala: Shane McMahon giving Mideon the European belt?
~ From the balcony, Barrows yells at Zybala not to mention the enemy! Zybala waves an apology. Mitch is up to "FIVE" and still no movement from Vaughn….. "SIX!" Uber looks nervous and excited…. "SEVEN!" Uber makes a hurry up motion with his hand, trying to get Mitch to speed up the count….. "EIGHT!" Vaughn's hands start twitching, the right one grabbing a fist full of grass….. "NINE!" Vaughn struggles to push himself up….. "TEN NOOOOOO!!" with a last ditch burst of energy, Vaughn hops to his feet as the fans explode with cheers. Uber-Man looks dejected and goes on the attack. As he gets close, Vaughn throws the fist full of grass at Uber-Man's face, some of it getting stuck in the eye holes. Uber stops in his tracks as he tries to clear his mask and eyes as Vaughn gets a little reprieve. Uber unties his mask, takes it off and shakes it out before putting it back on. This is when Vaughn strikes! He grabs the mask and twists it, blinding Uber-Man! As Uber struggles to get his mask righted, Vaughn backs up a bit and charges forward with a running dropkick! Uber is sent crashing into the ringside seats as the crowd scattered. Vaughn starts grabbing chairs and sets them up facing each other, then places chairs on them, making a makeshift table of sorts.Nearby fans offer up their chairs and help him set up this disaster waiting to happen. Uber finally gets his mask situated just in time to see a chair coming his way! The chair hits him square in the head, courtesy of Vaughn! Uber is laid out cold and on the grass. Vaughn drags him over to where he set up the chairs, and sets Uber so he's laying across them. Vaughn then climbs back in the ring as Mitch shouts out "THREE!" Vaughn climbs to the top rope and positions himself to face the still out cold Uber-Man. ~
Dean: What the fuck is Pete thinking?!?! Is he trying to end both of their careers?!
Zybala: No guts, no glory, Dean-o! Pete is laying it all on the line! This is what the Outsiders belt means to these guys!
~ Vaughn takes a big breath, crosses himself, and leaps off the top rope with The Plunge!! He doesn't get all of it though. Instead of the legdrop, it's a regular, though fantastic, shooting star press! Vaughn lands hard on Uber-Man as chairs explode everywhere! The Yardies are going crazy and a "HOLY SHIT!" chant breaks out! Mitch leaves the ring and checks on both wrestlers. A quick shot of Barrows shows that even he is impressed. ~
Dean: Holy Shit is right! That was insane!
Zybala: Vaughn put it all on the line with that one! He wants that belt back.
Dean: You can't be champ if you're dead, though.
~ The Yardies are screaming their heads off trying to rally the fallen wrestlers. Mitch begins a lineint count. "ONE!" Nobody is moving….. "TWO!" Still nothing. The fans of that area have encircled Uber and Vaughn and are urging their favorite to get up. "THREE!" still nothing. That doesn't stop the fans from cheering. "FOUR!" and there is no movement. "FIVE!" and Mitch wonders if he should just call it, but doesn't want a riot. Mitch has reached "SIX!" and still nothing. "SEVEN!" Vaughn starts to stir. "EIGHT!" Uber is moving around as Vaughn tries to use a nearby chair to pull himself up. Mitch yells "NINE!" and Uber-Man has got to his hands and knees as Vaughn tries to kneel up, using the chair to steady himself. Just as Mitch shouts "TEN!" Uber collapses back to the ground as Vaughn uses the last of his strength to push himself up to his feet!! Mitch calls for the bell and everyone goes nuts! Mitch goes to get the title as Vaughn sits in the chair he was holding. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and NEW Outsiders World Champion…. PETER VAUGHN!!
~ Vaughn's music hits as he gets handed the title. He hugs Mitch before holding the title high to the roar of the fans! He starts hugging everyone who lets him; tears falling freely. ~
Dean: He did it! Vaughn is now a three time world champion!!
Zybala: It's all that training. Vaughn just wanted it.. WHOA!
~ Vaughn has run over to the announce fridge and jumps at Zybala, hugging him and thanking him for everything. Zybala hugs him back before trying to push him away. He needs to be somewhat professional, but we see the pride in his eyes. Vaughn hobbles to the ring, climbs in and goes to the center. He holds the belt up high again to another cheer from the fans. He sees Uber-Man trying to get to his feet. Vaughn leaves the ring and goes over to help Uber to his feet. Uber looks disappointed but he's a superhero, he can't shove Vaughn away. Think of what the children would think of such a villainous act.. He accepts the help from Vaughn and the two make their way back in the house. The Mariachi Band runs out and starts setting up the chairs back to their original place. Belvedere climbs back in the ring. ~
Dean: It's main event time suckas! Barry taking on Allton for the right to face the new champ!
Zybala: Both men have earned their right here tonight. Will Allton come out of this as a two time X-Factor champion and number one contender, or will Barry keep the streak alive? Before we start it though…. Mr. Barrows? If you please?
~ Everyone turns in confusion to the "VIP box." Barrows stands up and holds both the United X-Division and X-Factor titles and draps them over the side. We then turn to Belvedere, already in the ring! ~
TOURNAMENT FINALS
LADDER MATCH FOR X-FACTOR TITLE AND NUMBER ONE CONTENDER
LORD ALLTON vs BARRY BARROWS
Belvedere: The following match is your main event of the evening. It is a ladder match for the vacant X-Factor title! Introducing first….. Coming back to the yard….. This is Barry Barrows!
~ "Oh Yeah!" by Green Day begins to play for the second time this evening. Barry steps out from behind the curtain looking tired after his matches. The Yardies still explode with cheers. They love this man. Barry makes his way to the ring, passing by The A-List. They all give him thumbs up. Dylan pats him on the back as Lissie wishes him good luck. He enters the ring and takes a deep breath. He looks above the ramp at the belts and his brother-in-law and gives a small wave. Barrows just waves his hand, barely acknowledging Barry. The music stops and Belvedere continues… ~
Belvedere: And his opponent... Please welcome back to The Yard….. LORD ALLTON!!!!!!!
~ "JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR" hits the speakers for the second time this evening and Lord Allton walks out. The boos are loud and get even louder when Tank and Vincenzo follow their boss. They assist him with walking to the ring, and help him get in the squared circle. Allton and Barry stand in the ring, looking at one another. Belvedere exits the ring as the music stops and Mitch calls for the bell! The fans cheer with "Let's Go Barry" chants filling The Yard! Allton walks over to Barry and starts off with a gentlemanly handshake. Barry accepts the token of respect and clasps hand with The Wrestling Jesus. Barry then tries to let go so they can start the match and Allton holds tight on to Barry's hand. He looks over to Tank and Vincenzo and mouths the word 'NOW!' The Family storm the ring and start to beat Barry down!! The Yardies boo with as much hate at the can muster. Allton gets in a few kicks before demanding a microphone from Belvedere. He gets it and starts to speak over the boos. ~
Allton: Barry, Barry Barry… Did you really believe that WE would have someone like YOU in the A-List? Every win that you have obtained has been a FLUKE! And after my boys have finished with you, you’re going to suffer a defeat, at last! I appreciate everything that you have done for the A-List especially at Heatwave back in August. But as I said at A-List Bootcamp my friend, your scores don’t lie. And now...it’s just further proof of just how worthless you are! Did you really REALLY believe that I really saw any potential in you, Barry? You were a tool to be used. Nothing more. Nothing less. I said this tournament was mine to win Barry, and unfortunately that was aimed at you, too. Still...it’s nothing personal. Only business. It was a pleasure doing business with you, Barry but from here henceforth… your services to the A-List are hereby… Terminated!
~ He kicks at Barry some more and a thought comes to him. ~
Allton: You know what…. Since you're currently in no shape to satisfy your wife, maybe I should enquire as to how she's doing... She did take quite the shine to me at your wedding after all…
~ The fans rage in anger and boo even louder. Barry gets angry at the mention of his wife. He pushes himself up and punches Tank right between the legs! The fans cheer as the giant crumples to the mat. Vincenzo and Allton stare in shock at first before dragging Barry to his feet. Vincenzo holds Barry and Allton knocks him.out with The Legendary Awesome Gorgeous Punch! Barry sags in Vincenzo's arms and gets dumped to the mat unceremoniously. Vincenzo then kicks Barry out of the ring as Allton stands smugly and even takes a bow. Vincenzo leans over the ropes, mockingly shouting at Barry "Do it for Deana" in a nasally voice. The crowd boos, all except for The A-List, who are giving Allton a standing ovation. ~
Zybala: Oh come on. Not like this.
Dean: Allton played all of us. We thought he would be honorable and have a straight up match with Barry.
Zybala: Should've known. All A-Listers are alike.
~ Allton exits the ring and starts heading up the ramp. He gets under the balcony and looks around. He sees no ladders. He looks again. Still nothing. He yells at Vincenzo to check under the ring. Vincenzo rolls out and does as he's told. He pushes Barry out of the way before lifting up the apron. A few seconds later he pulls out a ladder. Vincenzo starts to head over to Allton when he stops. He looks down to see Barry holding his pant leg, muttering about his wife. Vincenzo raises the ladder high and is about to bring it down on Barry when he gets STAMPEDED out of nowhere! The boos turn to cheers as Warthog climbs on top of Vincenzo and starts punching away; getting some payback. The two start brawling and don't notice that Tank has recovered and joined the fray. He grabs the ladder and makes his way to Allton. Barry is slowly crawling after him. Tank sets up the ladder for Allton who starts climbing it. Barry gets an energy burst and dives for the ladder. He pulls it towards him, causing Allton to fall on to Tank. The two land in a heap, the ladder on top of them. The fans see a glimmer of hope and cheer their heads off trying to rally behind Barry. Barry shouts "For Deana!" as he gets to his feet and stands the ladder back up. Before he can climb it.though, he is pulled down by Dylan Thomas and Dave Branson! They try to act all nice at first before laying into Barry. Warthog joins the fray and goes after Branson, but Vincenzo is right behind him. The numbers game catch up as The A-List beat down the two men. Tank and Allton get back to their feet and join in the beatdown.. ~
Dean: This is horseshit! It's six against two! This ain't the match we wanted!
Zybala: I agree…. Fucking A-List is gonna steal another one.
~ Allton stops kicking away at Barry and moves to the ladder. He starts to climb with Tank holding it steady. He gets to the top and grabs both titles. The fans boo with venom and hatred as Allton sits on top of the ladder holding both belts high. He then drops the United X-Division belt onto an unconscious Barry. He yells out that second place is all he'll ever be! The bell rings, calling for the end of the match. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and NEW X-Factor champion and number one contender….. "The Lord of Dashing" LOOOOORD ALLTOOOON!!
Dean: Man, I can't believe this. What a bad way to end our first pay per view.
Zybala: I agree but that's the breaks. Overall, it was a great show though.
Dean: I guess. I just wish the ending would have been an actual contest. Whatever. Thanks to everyone who joined us and helped make Controlled Chaos happen. I'm President Dean.
Zybala: And I'm Mike Zybala saying Good Fight, Good Night…
~ The last shot we see is that of The A-List looking triumphant as they stand over the bodies of Warthog and Barry as the scene fades to black… ~