The Who'Re Report 3.0 - Starring Grace Rimmer

[Grace Rimmer]

~Back LIVE inside the OCW Studio.  The setup is that quaint, sophisticated, cosmopolitan decor that belongs to the one, the only...Grace Rimmer!  Seated, crosslegged in her plush, giant 'V' chair is the host herself.  And, across the way in a much smaller, slimmer, uncomfortable chair shaped like a 'P' is OCW veteran correspondent, AKB.  He continually shifts around to find a spot that doesn't threaten to give him arthritis.  Rimmer notices the light on the camera and her giant mouth produces a very camera friendly smile.  Her vapid eyes project an ebullience which radiates through the lens and into the penises of all lonely men watching at home~

Grace Rimmer:  Hey there fans and friends!  Welcome to another edition of The Who'Re Report!  I'm your host, Grace Rimmer and alongside me is my trusty minion, AKB.

~AKB's eyes shoot in her direction.  They narrow.  His mouth silently says 'minion?  da fuck?'  Grace doesn't notice.  She barrels forward~

Grace Rimmer:  And we are here today with a SPECIAL Who'Re Report as we speculate just WHO the 8th roster member may be...

~AKB tries to speak, but he's cut off~

Grace Rimmer:  The obvious choices lie within the annals of OCW history.

~AKB chuckles at Grace's choice of the word 'annals'~

Grace Rimmer:  Scott Syren has been mentioned as holding the top spot on OCW's waiting list.  You'd assume he'd be the most logical choice...being bumped up into the game after Canon's 'retirement'.  Plus, he's a close friend of Canon.

AKB:  Yea, but Syren is...

~Grace shushes AKB~

Grace Rimmer:  And then you have names like The Incredible One, PerZag, Bob Grenier, and Alice Knight.  All of whom have been confirmed visiting OCWHQ since the famed promotion announced its return nearly two months ago.

AKB:  True, but...

~Grace leans forward with an aggressive index finger over her mouth, keeping AKB quiet~

Grace Rimmer:  You also have to keep Matt Meyhu in mind.  He made an unannounced appearance at Quarantined as a special ref for the Prison Yard Match.  His involvement spawned potential conflict with Peter Vaughn, Brim, and Xavier Lux.  Not to mention his pre-existing issues with Mike Zybala.

AKB:  The Marvel would never be...

~Grace flings her index card at AKB, quieting him~

Grace Rimmer:  One name that hasn't been brought up is Lurrr.  Whenever OCW returns, its initial legend is usually never far behind.

AKB:  Without Dean there's...

Grace Rimmer:  OMG, Alpha!  What is it with you and all men trying to talk over a woman?  Ugh.  Go get me some coffee.

~AKB thinks about fighting back.  But a few members of diVersity creep into frame.  So, he stands and heads off to grab Grace some really complicated java drink~

Grace Rimmer:  Now that that MAN is gone...we can really get into some juicy rumors.  Let's extend beyond OCW's history.  Let's take a look at some talent who are connected in one way or another with the promotion.  A name I'd like to bring up is Tony Savage.  He moonlighted in OCW a few years back...but whenever he started to gain momentum, it seemed issues would get in the way...preventing Savage from ascending.  Well, apparently Savage has resurfaced in the wrestling world and is looking to be in great shape.  Would OCW take another flier on him...with such a small roster cap?  The talent is there.

~People ponder.  Tony Savage?  Hmm....~

Grace Rimmer:  Marcus Ka'Derrion was recently linked with OCW.  He teamed with Xavier Lux in GCWA to win the Tag Titles...titles they've yet to lose.  You know Marcus has observed his partner's success.  Could he be looking to jump in and aid his partner in retaining his belt...especially given the stipulation for House of Cards...OR is there some personal rivalry/jealousy at play motivating Marcus to come in and dethrone Xavier?  They aren't called the Sins for nothing.

~More pondering.  Marcus Ka'Derrion?  Hmmmmmm~

Grace Rimmer:  And how about Legacy?  Shawn Warstein and James Raven are, without a doubt, premier players in the pro wrestling industry.  Instant impact main eventers wherever they sign.  Both are currently looking for a place to call home.  Both have history with most of the OCW roster - especially its champion, Xavier Lux.  Not only would one or (maybe?) both of these competitors be a HUGE boost for the OCW Roster but it would make sense, from a creative perspective.

~Jamming two into one spot due to a stable technicality?  That does sound very CLASSIC OCW...hmmmmm~

Grace Rimmer:  And let's not forget Jackson Hart.  A bit overshadowed by his stablemates...by the uneducated fan, anyway...but an equally dangerous and talented competitor.  One who was set to take off before the closure of GCWA.  I'm sure he's hungry to finish what he started.

~Jackson Hart?  OCW does have a sports room and Hart is a notorious poker player.  HMMMM~

Grace Rimmer:  I've also been told OCW and GCWA TV Champion Ryot have had some conversations.  Could he be looking to take the plunge and work to improve his already impressive resume?

~Ryot?  HMMM~

Grace Rimmer:  And what about Jason Cashe.  OCW has sought the services of Jason Cashe for YEARS.  A few times it looked to be a done deal until some external factor crept in, ruining the negotiations.  I'm told Cashe and OCW are on as good of terms as ever.  Is this the time for Cashe to step in and finally get his OCW run?

~Now THAT would be cool.  Cashe.  HMMM~

Grace Rimmer:  The obvious?  How about Vhodka Marie. She's already an OCW Champion...capturing the TransAtlantic Title at Quarantined.  Who'Re was present at OPW's show last night.  Did they hammer out an official contract?

~Vhodka Marie...HMMMM~

Grace Rimmer:  GCWA Righteous Rumble winner, Betsy Granger is another interesting name.  She recently followed OCW on Twitter.  And, yes, OCW gave her the 'not accepting applications' line...but was this merely a ruse to throw people off the trail?  Did she follow OCW BECAUSE she signed with the promotion?

~Betsy Granger...super talented.  HMMMMM~

Grace Rimmer:  And, finally, that brings us to B.O.B.  Thunder Knuckles, Bobby Bourbon, and Miss Fury.  All three have been actively engaged with OCW...whether they are hijacking broadcasts or bantering on Twitter.  These three would fit in PERFECTLY with what OCW is all about.  So...will we see one of these 'baddies' step into the fray?

~HMMMMM~

Grace Rimmer:  OCW has more options at its disposal than it knows what to do with.  This roster could reach beyond 20 by the end of the week if the company so desired.  So, who was talented enough to garner the 8th spot?  The wait will end tonight at the beginning of Piledriver.  Don't miss it!

~AKB finally returns with Grace's coffee.  She takes a sip and spits it all over his shoes~

Grace Rimmer:  I said SOME sugar!  Not A BIT.  TAKE IT BACK AND GET ME ANOTHER, YOU IDIOT!

~AKB grumbles and does as instructed.  Grace turns and faces the camera~

Grace Rimmer:  Men.

~She makes a funny, frustrated, what ya gonna do face as we fade out~