Post by Marcus Welsh on May 15, 2021 14:57:14 GMT -5
~We cut to the OCW Press Room. It’s cleaner than you probably expected. Seems as though Who’Re has been spending some money on, at the very least, removing ANTHRAX and other deadly diseases from permeating throughout the premises. A few internet journalists are seated in bean bags. Yes, bean bags. Apparently a couple of dickhead homeless bums stole all the chairs and sold them for drug money. Shit happens. They don’t look very comfortable...attempting to find a position that enables them to jot down notes. But, who cares. These people aren’t Acosta or Bill fuckin Maher. They’re nerds who probably play wrestler on the internet. Probably. A door opens...it creaks loudly. Gotta fix that. Who’Re, led by Sara Syren and Greg, enters. They stand behind her as she approaches the podium~
Who’Re: First of all. A huge thanks to everyone that attended and ordered Infection. Your contributions have enabled this once great company to exist a little bit longer.
~Silence. Sara Syren glares and slowly claps her hands. The ‘journalists’ follow suit~
Who’Re: As far as former GM Marcus Welsh is concerned. He’s in a hospital. Critical condition. We wish him the best.
~Short and not so sweet. Greg displays zero emotion~
Who’Re: In regards to Mike Zybala and his band of Outsiders. Zybala will serve as a counselor...nothing more. He has no real authority. And, we will honor the agreement that 20% of this new roster will feature Outsider talent.
~We think we see one ‘journalist’ chuckle with glee. Who’Re glares his way. Sara Syren marches over, snatches him by his PENCIL SIZED NECK. He yells like a little girl. Syren disposes of him in dangerous fashion before returning behind Who’Re. It should also be noted Syren is sporting her TransAtlantic Title around her super chiseled waist~
Who’Re: Speaking of our roster. It will be limited to 8 wrestlers. I know Marcus Welsh attempted this nearly 3 years ago and failed. His ego would not allow him to adhere to his self imposed cap. We will not have that problem. This regime will have discipline. 8 wrestlers. That’s it. No more.
~The ‘journalists’ nod and make notes. One is kinda heard saying, “Yea, we’ll see about that...bet the roster is at 20 in a month!” Greg hisses his way. Sara Syren cracks her knuckles. The dude quickly apologizes via nonverbal communication. He’s lucky~
Who’Re: We are offering 1 month contracts. At the end of the month, the contracts expire and both parties are free to explore alternative options. However, if you hold an OCW title then your contract will automatically renew for an additional month.
~More note taking~
Who’Re: We will run one PPV sized show a month. Every week a show called ‘Piledriver’ will air recapping what’s taking place. It will also air any segments and/or interviews members of the roster wish to submit. Cheasy M will be returning to host this previously defunct series.
~Surprise from the attendees. Cheasy M is an OCW legend. How did Who’Re get him to comeback? Apparently life as a sitcom writer didn’t pan out for ole Cheasy~
Who’Re: Our first event will be called Quarantined. Yes, we’re sticking with the Infection theme, for now. For those of you spreading rumors that Declassified was going to make airwaves can settle down. There are no plans to revisit those plans.
~Disappointment via audible sighs. But not too audible. Sara Syren clears her throat in a menacing manner...letting them all know any sort of insolence will NOT be tolerated~
Who’Re: This event will feature one official in-ring offering. A match unlike any in pro wrestling history. We’re calling it a Prison Yard Match. Four rings, each surrounded by a cage. The four rings are placed up against each other, forming a giant square. Each caged ring will be occupied by two wrestlers. All 8 OCW wrestlers will enter at the same time. It will be an elimination style match. You can be eliminated via pinfall, submission, or exiting the cage. You may scale your cage and climb over to enter another ring, if you wish. But do so at your own peril.
~Furious scribbling~
Who’Re: The first four wrestlers eliminated will leave empty handed. The final four will all receive a title. Fourth place earns the Craze Championship. Third place earns the Paradigm Championship. Second place earns the Savage Championship. The winner, last wrestler standing, will walk away OCW Champion.
~Head nods. A few ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’...this is a very nerdy group~
Who’Re: Speaking of the OCW Title. Mack O’Connor has re-signed and will be recognized as OCW Champion heading into this event. No other champions have been retained. All other major titles are currently vacant.
~Every ‘journalist’ in the room does a shot of Jameson in Mack’s honor~
Who’Re: And, now that we’ve let that cat out of the bag. Here’s the rest of the roster...in alphabetical order. Brim. Curt Canon. Dylan Thomas. Mike Zybala. Outcast. Peter Vaughn. Xavier Lux. Zybala and Vaughn make up the Outsider 20% quota.
~Super furious scribbling. Why are they scribbling when smart phones exist? YOU TELL ME~
Who’Re: If you are able to do the math then you know that each wrestler signed to an OCW contract has a 50/50 chance on acquiring a title at the end of the first month.
~Calculators spring forth. The math checks out. Hot damn, this whore can add~
Who’Re: All the action will officially begin one week from Monday. May 24th. Until then the contracted wrestlers are welcome to enter the facilities and use them as they wish.
~Seems as though things are wrapping up~
Who’Re: I’d personally like to single out Xavier Lux. The son of OCW legend and hall of famer, Scorpion. We are extremely excited to bring him back where he belongs, home.
~Stories of Scorpion’s OCW lore are battered about. Most of them inclue his ARCH NEMESIS, Lurrr. What will Lurrr do when he finds out Scorpion’s son is roaming the halls of his cherished OCW? Something, probably~
Who’Re: And with that, I think we’ve covered everything.
~One ‘journalist’ dares to ask a question~
Journalist: Yes, miss Who-Ray (so lucky he pronounced it correctly). What about Sara Syren?
~Who’Re smiles, turning around and patting Syren on the shoulder~
Who’Re: Sara is a special attraction. She’s our TransAtlantic Champion. She will defend this title sporadically via open challenges. Her presence transcends the roster. She’s an icon. An image of what we aspire OCW to be in the future. Not to be soiled by hanging around the ordinary wrestlers.
~We’re not sure how this comment will go over with the locker room. But, too late. These dudes have signed up to compete for Who’Re. About finished, Who’Re makes one more declaration~
Who’Re: And if you’re curious as to how serious we are about this roster cap...here’s the competitor occupying the top spot on our waiting list…
~Audible gasps. And, with that, she abruptly ends and leaves the press room. Sara Syren kicks the aching door wide open, making room for Who’Re. Greg follows her~
Who’Re: First of all. A huge thanks to everyone that attended and ordered Infection. Your contributions have enabled this once great company to exist a little bit longer.
~Silence. Sara Syren glares and slowly claps her hands. The ‘journalists’ follow suit~
Who’Re: As far as former GM Marcus Welsh is concerned. He’s in a hospital. Critical condition. We wish him the best.
~Short and not so sweet. Greg displays zero emotion~
Who’Re: In regards to Mike Zybala and his band of Outsiders. Zybala will serve as a counselor...nothing more. He has no real authority. And, we will honor the agreement that 20% of this new roster will feature Outsider talent.
~We think we see one ‘journalist’ chuckle with glee. Who’Re glares his way. Sara Syren marches over, snatches him by his PENCIL SIZED NECK. He yells like a little girl. Syren disposes of him in dangerous fashion before returning behind Who’Re. It should also be noted Syren is sporting her TransAtlantic Title around her super chiseled waist~
Who’Re: Speaking of our roster. It will be limited to 8 wrestlers. I know Marcus Welsh attempted this nearly 3 years ago and failed. His ego would not allow him to adhere to his self imposed cap. We will not have that problem. This regime will have discipline. 8 wrestlers. That’s it. No more.
~The ‘journalists’ nod and make notes. One is kinda heard saying, “Yea, we’ll see about that...bet the roster is at 20 in a month!” Greg hisses his way. Sara Syren cracks her knuckles. The dude quickly apologizes via nonverbal communication. He’s lucky~
Who’Re: We are offering 1 month contracts. At the end of the month, the contracts expire and both parties are free to explore alternative options. However, if you hold an OCW title then your contract will automatically renew for an additional month.
~More note taking~
Who’Re: We will run one PPV sized show a month. Every week a show called ‘Piledriver’ will air recapping what’s taking place. It will also air any segments and/or interviews members of the roster wish to submit. Cheasy M will be returning to host this previously defunct series.
~Surprise from the attendees. Cheasy M is an OCW legend. How did Who’Re get him to comeback? Apparently life as a sitcom writer didn’t pan out for ole Cheasy~
Who’Re: Our first event will be called Quarantined. Yes, we’re sticking with the Infection theme, for now. For those of you spreading rumors that Declassified was going to make airwaves can settle down. There are no plans to revisit those plans.
~Disappointment via audible sighs. But not too audible. Sara Syren clears her throat in a menacing manner...letting them all know any sort of insolence will NOT be tolerated~
Who’Re: This event will feature one official in-ring offering. A match unlike any in pro wrestling history. We’re calling it a Prison Yard Match. Four rings, each surrounded by a cage. The four rings are placed up against each other, forming a giant square. Each caged ring will be occupied by two wrestlers. All 8 OCW wrestlers will enter at the same time. It will be an elimination style match. You can be eliminated via pinfall, submission, or exiting the cage. You may scale your cage and climb over to enter another ring, if you wish. But do so at your own peril.
~Furious scribbling~
Who’Re: The first four wrestlers eliminated will leave empty handed. The final four will all receive a title. Fourth place earns the Craze Championship. Third place earns the Paradigm Championship. Second place earns the Savage Championship. The winner, last wrestler standing, will walk away OCW Champion.
~Head nods. A few ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’...this is a very nerdy group~
Who’Re: Speaking of the OCW Title. Mack O’Connor has re-signed and will be recognized as OCW Champion heading into this event. No other champions have been retained. All other major titles are currently vacant.
~Every ‘journalist’ in the room does a shot of Jameson in Mack’s honor~
Who’Re: And, now that we’ve let that cat out of the bag. Here’s the rest of the roster...in alphabetical order. Brim. Curt Canon. Dylan Thomas. Mike Zybala. Outcast. Peter Vaughn. Xavier Lux. Zybala and Vaughn make up the Outsider 20% quota.
~Super furious scribbling. Why are they scribbling when smart phones exist? YOU TELL ME~
Who’Re: If you are able to do the math then you know that each wrestler signed to an OCW contract has a 50/50 chance on acquiring a title at the end of the first month.
~Calculators spring forth. The math checks out. Hot damn, this whore can add~
Who’Re: All the action will officially begin one week from Monday. May 24th. Until then the contracted wrestlers are welcome to enter the facilities and use them as they wish.
~Seems as though things are wrapping up~
Who’Re: I’d personally like to single out Xavier Lux. The son of OCW legend and hall of famer, Scorpion. We are extremely excited to bring him back where he belongs, home.
~Stories of Scorpion’s OCW lore are battered about. Most of them inclue his ARCH NEMESIS, Lurrr. What will Lurrr do when he finds out Scorpion’s son is roaming the halls of his cherished OCW? Something, probably~
Who’Re: And with that, I think we’ve covered everything.
~One ‘journalist’ dares to ask a question~
Journalist: Yes, miss Who-Ray (so lucky he pronounced it correctly). What about Sara Syren?
~Who’Re smiles, turning around and patting Syren on the shoulder~
Who’Re: Sara is a special attraction. She’s our TransAtlantic Champion. She will defend this title sporadically via open challenges. Her presence transcends the roster. She’s an icon. An image of what we aspire OCW to be in the future. Not to be soiled by hanging around the ordinary wrestlers.
~We’re not sure how this comment will go over with the locker room. But, too late. These dudes have signed up to compete for Who’Re. About finished, Who’Re makes one more declaration~
Who’Re: And if you’re curious as to how serious we are about this roster cap...here’s the competitor occupying the top spot on our waiting list…
~Audible gasps. And, with that, she abruptly ends and leaves the press room. Sara Syren kicks the aching door wide open, making room for Who’Re. Greg follows her~