Post by chase on May 9, 2020 21:46:21 GMT -5
It's a sunny day in Orange County. Many of the residents have been clamoring to get back to the beach. The Governor had temporarily ordered a closure of the beaches after photos surfaced online of massive gatherings at the various beaches in Orange County. But now the beaches are back open, and the weather is nice. An unnamed GCWA cameraman looks like a fish out of water in his all-black attire as he walks along the beach on assignment with Jason Chase.
Jason: Look at all these beautiful women. Just like David Lee Roth once said, "wish they all could be California girls."
Cameraman: Uh. I think it was originally a Beach Boys song.
Jason: Whatever man. So you think this is a good spot right here?
Chase stands next to a lifeguard tower where a pink surfboard is leaning on the wooden handrails.
Cameraman: Sure. you know these types of promos are so early 2000s.
Chase: Don't be a hater man. Make sure you get my good side. should I put my hand on the surfboard?
The cameraman shrugs his shoulders.
Cameraman: Whenever you are ready.
Chase takes off his shirt and pulls out suntan lotion from his man bag. His body is ripped, he starts to rub himself down. His body glistens in the sunlight as women oogle at him as they pass by. Chase flexes his muscles, then points to the cameraman who presses record.
Chase: I told the world I would do. I said that I would beat the Big Bifford and I did. And now this next round they have me in the ring against a woman by the name of Lillith. I really don't know how I feel about this, usually when I wrestle with a woman, it ends with my load on her face. And I'm not making any promises, but that might just happen. Now Lillith isn't the prettiest girl, she doesn't have a banging body, but I wouldn't kick her out of bed. I'm thinking that maybe after I lay her down in the ring, I can lay her down in the sheets.
Cameraman: CUT!
Chase: What?
Cameraman: This isn't 2001 man. You can't be saying stuff like that. #metoo movement. That's workplace sexual harassment.
Chase: So I can talk about beating the shit out of a woman on tv, but I can't talking about sexing her?
Cameraman: That's right, and I think she's a lesbian.
Chase nods his head. Okay. Let's try again.
Chase takes a deep breath and composes himself, the cameraman gives him the signal.
Chase: So this week, I have a match against a lesbian.
Cameraman: CUT!
Chase: What now?
Cameraman: You can't refer to her sexual preference man, that's discrimination.
Chase: Fuck, why are there so many rules. let's try again.
Camerman: Ok. And go.
Chase: Lillith, I hear that you are quite an accomplished wrestler. Even though you are a woman, you have proven that you are able to compete with men twice your size. That is very commendable, I'd like to say congrat....... wait. Why the fuck am I praising this chick? CUT!
Cameraman: I thought you were doing a good job.
Chase: This is pointless, how am I going to cut a promo if I can't speak the truth? Is it chauvinist to say that there is no chance that I lost to this girl? I read somewhere in her bio where she states that this wrestling thing is new to her. I’ve probably lost more knowledge about the ins and outs of wrestling than she will ever know. She’s not a great wrestler, she’s built like a wrestler, she doesn't have muscles. She states that her greatest strength is that she is crazy. How the fuck is that a strength? Did she wake up one morning and decide that she was tired of her everyday life and decided that she could be a wrestler? That’s a fucking joke. I’ll tell you what, when I was in high school, there was a girl, who I swear to god I wanted to smack the shit out of her. She kept telling people that I got her pregnant, and all this other shit which was not true. None of the other girls in school would give me the time of day, I had to transfer schools because of her.
Cameraman: You transferred schools because you weren’t getting any action from the ladies?
Chase: yeah, man what else was I supposed to do? So anyway, I’m going to picture that chick in my head when I get to the ring, and I’m going to smack the shit out of Lillith. I’m going to punch her in the stomach so many fucking time. I’m going to atomic drop her until her uterus gets fucked up. Her fingernails are her favorite weapon? I’ve got an itch to scratch and on Monday she’s going to do me the honors. Honestly, who is scared of Lillith? I looked at the card and I saw some chick named Lillith and I pictured a girl with a sundress and flowers in her hair. I’m going to drag her by her hair and smack her around from ringpost to ringpost. Her face is going to be so fucked up by the time I’m done with her.
Cameraman: And cut! Ok got it.
Chase: You recorded that?
Cameraman: yeah that was great. Are we done here?
Chase: Hold on a second, can you hit record when I start running?
Chase turns and runs towards the water in slow motion, he dives into the water, then gets out and runs back slowly towards the camera.
Chase: Did you get all that?
Cameraman: what was that? Are you auditioning for Baywatch?
Chase: Exactly…..
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There hasn’t been a lot of work in Hollywood since the shelter in place. In Chase’s particular case, he managed to upset one of the most powerful men in Hollywood. So any jobs that would be available are not coming his way. After getting cleaned up and changing clothes Chase heads over to his agent’s office in Hollywood.
The roof is down on his red 2019 Mazda Miata as he speeds down the highway, Chase looks in his rearview mirror and notices a black sedan has been following him.
Jason Chase: Fucking Lisa, that crazy bitch. She needs to get over it.
Chase zig zags through traffic, but the sedan is right behind him. He steps on the pedal to try and shake the sedan but it has an uncanny ability to stay with him. The sedan pulls up side by side and Chase gets a good glimpse of the driver. Chase nearly crashes into a semi truck, but manages to veer away. He pulls up to the black sedan, and rolls down his window.
Chase: What do you want?
The driver, a brown haired woman in her late 20s flips him the finger, then slows her car down.
The sedan seemingly disappears in the rearview as Chase takes the exit and makes his way to his agent’s office.
Chase parks his car in the front and heads inside. Chase opens the door to the office of Colt Jacobs and finds no one inside. He takes a seat at Colt’s desk and fiddles with his pen. He looks over a sheet on Colt’s desk with a list of movie projects crossed off.
Chase: I can’t believe they are doing this to me. John Roman intends to make my life a living hell.
Colt Jacobs: Well you did it to yourself man.
Colt Jacobs enters the office with a manila folder in his hands. He walks over to a file cabinet and places it inside.
Chase:What’s with all these projects being crossed off?
Colt Jacobs: Those are projects that have rejected you.
Colt walks behind and nudges Chase off his seat.
Colt Jacobs: You’re my last client jason. John Roman gave me an ultimatum. Either I drop you or he force my clients to leave me.
Chase: So you’re dropping me?
Colt Jacobs: It was a tough choice, I’ve known you for so long. But I couldn’t betray you man. You’re like a brother to me. All of my clients are gone now. It’s just you.
Colt Jacobs reaches under his desk and pulls out a flask and takes a sip, he passes it to Chase who declines.
Chase: I’m driving. Can’t drink and drive man.
Colt Jacobs shrugs and takes another sip.
Chase: So what now?
Colt Jacobs: Well, you do have a wrestling match. And what's with this script you are working on?
Chase: It’s going to be a blockbuster. I’m going to be the star.
Colt Jacobs laughs.
Colt Jacobs: You? Star in the movie? There’s a reason why you are a stuntman and not an actor. You suck at acting. But you are a damn fine wrestler.
Colt Jacobs lets out a hearty laugh, Chase laughs as well.
Chase: You are not wrong. I showed it last week and I will show it again this week when I face Lillith.
Colt Jacobs: you’re facing a woman?
Chase: yeah. It’s crazy. I remember back in the days, women like Lillith had no place in the ring. They would be backstage waiting on their knees. We would pass them around like a soccer ball.
Colt Jacobs: Well. Surely she has some skill. She did win a match last week.
Chase: I’m on a mission Colt. If I am to succeed in this new venture I need to win this prize money from the OCW.
Colt Jacobs: you’re going to need more than that to fund a movie Chase.
Chase: you may be right.
Colt Jacobs: Just make sure you don’t let your cock get in the way of getting the victory.
Chase: Oh no need to worry about that. Have you seen how hideous Lillith looks. There is a reason why she is a lesbian, no man would take her.
Colt Jacobs: Haha. Okay, enough of the bullshit. I actually asked you down here for something important. You might need to take a seat for this one.
Chase sits down as Jacobs reaches under his desk and pulls out an envelope. He hands it to Chase.
Colt Jacobs: I’ve already read it. You sure you don’t want that drink?
Chase takes the envelope and opens up the letter, he reads the contents, then turns to Colt Jacobs.
Chase: On second thought. Give me that flask.
Colt Jacobs: The crazy thing is Jason. I’m surprised there aren’t more child support cases against you.
Chase: So what do I do?
Colt Jacobs: you have to go to court and probably have to take a paternity test.
Chase: Fuck…..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chase walks over to his car that is parked outside the office, he immediately sees that the tires have been slashed and the sides of the car have been keyed. He looks around and hears the screech of tires and a black sedan speeding away. Chase hops into his car and flips up his phone to call a tow truck.
Chase: What. The. Fuck! Women. They will be the death of me. If it’s not a scorned lover, or a woman trying to milk me for support money, they are trying to take my head off in the ring. I know one thing is for certain though, I will not lose to Lillith. This self proclaimed crazy bitch says that she likes pain so I am going to fuck her up. I am going to break her. Instead of munching on carpets she’s going to be munching on that mat as I twist and turn her little body until it can not turn any longer. When I hit the Climax, she will be moaning and groaning when the referee makes that 3 count and raises my hand.
The tow truck arrives and the driver hops out of the truck. He takes one look at the car and laughs.
Tow Truck Driver: you must have made some woman very mad.
Chase: (shrugs) That I did. Now please sir could you please tow me home. I don’t like taking Uber. Here is some cash for the ride.
Chase hands the Tow Truck Driver a wad of 20s. The Driver smiles and grabs the money. He puts it in his pocket, then starts to hook up Chase’s car to the truck. The car slowly begins to rise and then slides onto the back of the truck with Chase still in it.
Chase: It is my destiny to be a star in Hollywood, and Lillith stands in my way. This Monday, I will beat, just like I beat the Big Bifford, just like I will beat whoever else they put in my way. Your inexperience and your lack of physical strength does you no favors. No matter how hard you have trained and no matter how many moves you have practiced, you will not be able to overcome my strength, and my speed, and my determination. You don’t know what pain feels like until my backhand smacks you across the face. I’m going to lay you in the corner and thrust my crotch in your face again and again and again until you like it. Maybe after this match is over, I will have turned you around. Maybe the reason you are a lesbian is because you haven’t met a real man like me. This Monday, I’ll show you what a real man is all about. It is not your Destiny to win this match girl. It’s Manifest Destiny. Not Womanifest Destiny….
Jason: Look at all these beautiful women. Just like David Lee Roth once said, "wish they all could be California girls."
Cameraman: Uh. I think it was originally a Beach Boys song.
Jason: Whatever man. So you think this is a good spot right here?
Chase stands next to a lifeguard tower where a pink surfboard is leaning on the wooden handrails.
Cameraman: Sure. you know these types of promos are so early 2000s.
Chase: Don't be a hater man. Make sure you get my good side. should I put my hand on the surfboard?
The cameraman shrugs his shoulders.
Cameraman: Whenever you are ready.
Chase takes off his shirt and pulls out suntan lotion from his man bag. His body is ripped, he starts to rub himself down. His body glistens in the sunlight as women oogle at him as they pass by. Chase flexes his muscles, then points to the cameraman who presses record.
Chase: I told the world I would do. I said that I would beat the Big Bifford and I did. And now this next round they have me in the ring against a woman by the name of Lillith. I really don't know how I feel about this, usually when I wrestle with a woman, it ends with my load on her face. And I'm not making any promises, but that might just happen. Now Lillith isn't the prettiest girl, she doesn't have a banging body, but I wouldn't kick her out of bed. I'm thinking that maybe after I lay her down in the ring, I can lay her down in the sheets.
Cameraman: CUT!
Chase: What?
Cameraman: This isn't 2001 man. You can't be saying stuff like that. #metoo movement. That's workplace sexual harassment.
Chase: So I can talk about beating the shit out of a woman on tv, but I can't talking about sexing her?
Cameraman: That's right, and I think she's a lesbian.
Chase nods his head. Okay. Let's try again.
Chase takes a deep breath and composes himself, the cameraman gives him the signal.
Chase: So this week, I have a match against a lesbian.
Cameraman: CUT!
Chase: What now?
Cameraman: You can't refer to her sexual preference man, that's discrimination.
Chase: Fuck, why are there so many rules. let's try again.
Camerman: Ok. And go.
Chase: Lillith, I hear that you are quite an accomplished wrestler. Even though you are a woman, you have proven that you are able to compete with men twice your size. That is very commendable, I'd like to say congrat....... wait. Why the fuck am I praising this chick? CUT!
Cameraman: I thought you were doing a good job.
Chase: This is pointless, how am I going to cut a promo if I can't speak the truth? Is it chauvinist to say that there is no chance that I lost to this girl? I read somewhere in her bio where she states that this wrestling thing is new to her. I’ve probably lost more knowledge about the ins and outs of wrestling than she will ever know. She’s not a great wrestler, she’s built like a wrestler, she doesn't have muscles. She states that her greatest strength is that she is crazy. How the fuck is that a strength? Did she wake up one morning and decide that she was tired of her everyday life and decided that she could be a wrestler? That’s a fucking joke. I’ll tell you what, when I was in high school, there was a girl, who I swear to god I wanted to smack the shit out of her. She kept telling people that I got her pregnant, and all this other shit which was not true. None of the other girls in school would give me the time of day, I had to transfer schools because of her.
Cameraman: You transferred schools because you weren’t getting any action from the ladies?
Chase: yeah, man what else was I supposed to do? So anyway, I’m going to picture that chick in my head when I get to the ring, and I’m going to smack the shit out of Lillith. I’m going to punch her in the stomach so many fucking time. I’m going to atomic drop her until her uterus gets fucked up. Her fingernails are her favorite weapon? I’ve got an itch to scratch and on Monday she’s going to do me the honors. Honestly, who is scared of Lillith? I looked at the card and I saw some chick named Lillith and I pictured a girl with a sundress and flowers in her hair. I’m going to drag her by her hair and smack her around from ringpost to ringpost. Her face is going to be so fucked up by the time I’m done with her.
Cameraman: And cut! Ok got it.
Chase: You recorded that?
Cameraman: yeah that was great. Are we done here?
Chase: Hold on a second, can you hit record when I start running?
Chase turns and runs towards the water in slow motion, he dives into the water, then gets out and runs back slowly towards the camera.
Chase: Did you get all that?
Cameraman: what was that? Are you auditioning for Baywatch?
Chase: Exactly…..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There hasn’t been a lot of work in Hollywood since the shelter in place. In Chase’s particular case, he managed to upset one of the most powerful men in Hollywood. So any jobs that would be available are not coming his way. After getting cleaned up and changing clothes Chase heads over to his agent’s office in Hollywood.
The roof is down on his red 2019 Mazda Miata as he speeds down the highway, Chase looks in his rearview mirror and notices a black sedan has been following him.
Jason Chase: Fucking Lisa, that crazy bitch. She needs to get over it.
Chase zig zags through traffic, but the sedan is right behind him. He steps on the pedal to try and shake the sedan but it has an uncanny ability to stay with him. The sedan pulls up side by side and Chase gets a good glimpse of the driver. Chase nearly crashes into a semi truck, but manages to veer away. He pulls up to the black sedan, and rolls down his window.
Chase: What do you want?
The driver, a brown haired woman in her late 20s flips him the finger, then slows her car down.
The sedan seemingly disappears in the rearview as Chase takes the exit and makes his way to his agent’s office.
Chase parks his car in the front and heads inside. Chase opens the door to the office of Colt Jacobs and finds no one inside. He takes a seat at Colt’s desk and fiddles with his pen. He looks over a sheet on Colt’s desk with a list of movie projects crossed off.
Chase: I can’t believe they are doing this to me. John Roman intends to make my life a living hell.
Colt Jacobs: Well you did it to yourself man.
Colt Jacobs enters the office with a manila folder in his hands. He walks over to a file cabinet and places it inside.
Chase:What’s with all these projects being crossed off?
Colt Jacobs: Those are projects that have rejected you.
Colt walks behind and nudges Chase off his seat.
Colt Jacobs: You’re my last client jason. John Roman gave me an ultimatum. Either I drop you or he force my clients to leave me.
Chase: So you’re dropping me?
Colt Jacobs: It was a tough choice, I’ve known you for so long. But I couldn’t betray you man. You’re like a brother to me. All of my clients are gone now. It’s just you.
Colt Jacobs reaches under his desk and pulls out a flask and takes a sip, he passes it to Chase who declines.
Chase: I’m driving. Can’t drink and drive man.
Colt Jacobs shrugs and takes another sip.
Chase: So what now?
Colt Jacobs: Well, you do have a wrestling match. And what's with this script you are working on?
Chase: It’s going to be a blockbuster. I’m going to be the star.
Colt Jacobs laughs.
Colt Jacobs: You? Star in the movie? There’s a reason why you are a stuntman and not an actor. You suck at acting. But you are a damn fine wrestler.
Colt Jacobs lets out a hearty laugh, Chase laughs as well.
Chase: You are not wrong. I showed it last week and I will show it again this week when I face Lillith.
Colt Jacobs: you’re facing a woman?
Chase: yeah. It’s crazy. I remember back in the days, women like Lillith had no place in the ring. They would be backstage waiting on their knees. We would pass them around like a soccer ball.
Colt Jacobs: Well. Surely she has some skill. She did win a match last week.
Chase: I’m on a mission Colt. If I am to succeed in this new venture I need to win this prize money from the OCW.
Colt Jacobs: you’re going to need more than that to fund a movie Chase.
Chase: you may be right.
Colt Jacobs: Just make sure you don’t let your cock get in the way of getting the victory.
Chase: Oh no need to worry about that. Have you seen how hideous Lillith looks. There is a reason why she is a lesbian, no man would take her.
Colt Jacobs: Haha. Okay, enough of the bullshit. I actually asked you down here for something important. You might need to take a seat for this one.
Chase sits down as Jacobs reaches under his desk and pulls out an envelope. He hands it to Chase.
Colt Jacobs: I’ve already read it. You sure you don’t want that drink?
Chase takes the envelope and opens up the letter, he reads the contents, then turns to Colt Jacobs.
Chase: On second thought. Give me that flask.
Colt Jacobs: The crazy thing is Jason. I’m surprised there aren’t more child support cases against you.
Chase: So what do I do?
Colt Jacobs: you have to go to court and probably have to take a paternity test.
Chase: Fuck…..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chase walks over to his car that is parked outside the office, he immediately sees that the tires have been slashed and the sides of the car have been keyed. He looks around and hears the screech of tires and a black sedan speeding away. Chase hops into his car and flips up his phone to call a tow truck.
Chase: What. The. Fuck! Women. They will be the death of me. If it’s not a scorned lover, or a woman trying to milk me for support money, they are trying to take my head off in the ring. I know one thing is for certain though, I will not lose to Lillith. This self proclaimed crazy bitch says that she likes pain so I am going to fuck her up. I am going to break her. Instead of munching on carpets she’s going to be munching on that mat as I twist and turn her little body until it can not turn any longer. When I hit the Climax, she will be moaning and groaning when the referee makes that 3 count and raises my hand.
The tow truck arrives and the driver hops out of the truck. He takes one look at the car and laughs.
Tow Truck Driver: you must have made some woman very mad.
Chase: (shrugs) That I did. Now please sir could you please tow me home. I don’t like taking Uber. Here is some cash for the ride.
Chase hands the Tow Truck Driver a wad of 20s. The Driver smiles and grabs the money. He puts it in his pocket, then starts to hook up Chase’s car to the truck. The car slowly begins to rise and then slides onto the back of the truck with Chase still in it.
Chase: It is my destiny to be a star in Hollywood, and Lillith stands in my way. This Monday, I will beat, just like I beat the Big Bifford, just like I will beat whoever else they put in my way. Your inexperience and your lack of physical strength does you no favors. No matter how hard you have trained and no matter how many moves you have practiced, you will not be able to overcome my strength, and my speed, and my determination. You don’t know what pain feels like until my backhand smacks you across the face. I’m going to lay you in the corner and thrust my crotch in your face again and again and again until you like it. Maybe after this match is over, I will have turned you around. Maybe the reason you are a lesbian is because you haven’t met a real man like me. This Monday, I’ll show you what a real man is all about. It is not your Destiny to win this match girl. It’s Manifest Destiny. Not Womanifest Destiny….