Post by Alice Knight on Mar 18, 2014 23:31:30 GMT -5
The scene opens up in a Orlando Florida motel room. We see Alice Knight talking on the room phone wearing a stripped white and black shirt and black jeans.
Alice Knight(on the phone)- Thanks for wiring me some money for this motel… no, I am so grateful… don’t worry about me, things should pick up for me soon… yeah it should be totally fun, Brianna. Going around Orlando with you should be a blast. I’ve never been there either. You, paying for everything? No. No. I’ll chip in too. I’ll pay my share… (she digs in her sweater pockets and pulls out a few pennies, a bottle cap opener, a few dead ant bodies and an old mint candy. She immediately pops the mint into her mouth. She finds two one dollar bills, looks around sneakily and puts everything back into her pocket.) Um, well we’ll put my expenses on an I.O.U. After I beat Roach this weekend, fingers crossed, President Dean should be able to pay us, and most importantly pay me, something. I mean Universal Studios is Orlando Florida is a hell of a venue. He has to make some money off of this… ah well; we’ll see… thanks Brianna. Also I loved your Alice In Wonderland retrospective on Ian Bishop. But we need to talk about Tim Burton’s Wonderland. It wasn’t THAT bad… why is it bad?… uh huh? Uh huh? Uh huh? Good point. Good answer. Anyway I won’t keep you, talk to you soon. A.B.C. Ya.
Alice hangs up the phone. She rushes over to the bed, jumps on it and lies there laughing.
Alice Knight- I do love me some bed! Now what to do today… TO THE LIST!
Alice falls out of the bed and crawls to her gym bag, digs through the clothing and pulls out binder full of paper with some glasses and pen attached to it. She slips on the glasses, electrical tape holding the frame together. She looks at the list.
Alice Knight(reading from her list)- - Wake up. Check.
- Yawn. (Alice yawns) Double check.
- Brush teeth. If cannot find toothbrush, use toothpaste on finger. If cannot find toothpaste, just rinse mouth out with beer or water. Find a glass first. Check.
- Take a shower. Get clean but not SO clean where it’s like you’re bragging or something. You're better than that, Alice. Check. Check.
- Look at ant farm. Watch Ants for about an hour. Write down number of ants seen. Compare with yesterdays ant list. Note upward and downward trend on ant graph. Check.
- Put on pants. (looks at her panted legs.) Check.
- Practice hilariously funny Robot-Cowboy dance for at least an hour. Two hours if have time. Concentrate on spinning-stiffly movements. Hmmm, maybe later.
- Meditate for an hour by lying down on the bed. Check.
- If night, count shooting stars. See if number continues to have eerie similarity with the number of ants from ant graph. Nobel Prize maybe? I’ll do that later.
- Do extra research on laptop on opponent-slash-scumbag Roach and the Family before big match at Black Out 2. Got to do that next. For sure.
- Prepare for hardcore match. Do what is necessary. (Alice nods) Yep. I’ll figure it out.
Alice gently closes the binder and stuffs it into her gym bag. She then crawls over to her old looking Acer laptop lying on the floor across the room. She closes the browser windows of shirtless pictures of Taye Diggs. She types in OnlineChampionshipWrestling.com in another window. She goes to the roster page. She shivers when she sees Roach’s picture. She then squints at the image.
Alice Knight- Oh right. His manager. I forgot all about him. The guy looks like John Oates from Hall and Oates. (Alice laughs) Whatever his name is… But he’s mostly stoned and drunk all the time anyway so I don’t need to worry about him too much. Still, if he shows up at mine and Roach’s hardcore match, give him a good bashin’ too. (scrolls through Roaches roster page) I do have to admit. His finishing move, the Doo-Ah. Um, I mean the ‘D.O.A” is pretty devastating. Should try to avoid that at all causes. Man, Roach reminds me of Peter Criss from Kiss. He’s also like the least coolest member of the band, makes sense, Roach is like the least coolest member of The Family too. God I can’t wait to find a baseball bat, a shovel, a broken whiskey bottle, a cookie sheet, with or with out cookies, preferably with cookies. Mmmmm. (rubs her belly and closes her eyes) That be good eating. But whatever, grab one of many objects and just smash his face in during this hardcore match. But it looks like he may have a lot of tolerance for pain. Not to say I don’t, but I’ve never been in this kind of hardcore match before. He has. I need to some how prepare myself. I think I know what I need to do… take a god damn good beating… wait… was I talking to myself this entire time?
Alice looks in a mirror attached to the bathroom door.
Alice Knight(looking at reflection)- No, you’re talking to me! (smiles) I’M WONDERFUL!!
Alice gets to her a feet and walks around the motel room punching her hand with her fist.
Alice Knight- Okay, okay. What to do? What to do? I could go to a bar and get in a fight with a local. Yeah, go up to him or her and spill some beer on the person. A Canadian beer… that’ll piss’em right off. Buuuut that would be a waste of beer. I could go to the local park and slap a child across their face and their parent could just kick my ass as I take it. No. No. I could get arrested. Can’t go back to the big house, that’s for sure. A bum. Pay a bum! Wait, bum is the politically incorrect term, especially since I’m, well, kind of in the same situation as them. But pay a filthy, dirty, smelly, old… hobo! Yeah!
Alice Knight goes into the motels kitchen area, and grabs a bread pan from the stove. She rushes towards the exit door and walks outside. Outside are a bunch of cats scratching to get into her room. “SHUUUUUU!” Alice yells as she kicks the cats away from the door. She walks out, carrying the pan, and walks up the motel strip and towards the parking area. This is where she notices a homeless man sleeping on someone’s car.
Alice Knight- Perfect!
Alice quietly creeps up behind the homeless man.
Alice Knight- Psst. Psst. Hey, homeless guy? You awake.
Homeless Man(awakening)- I swear I didn’t cum on you Pete… huh, huh? (looks over at Alice.) Whaaaaaat?
Alice Knight- Hey homeless guy. How would you like to make a dollar? I’ll give you a dollar if you come over here and start bashing me in the head with this bread pan here? Don’t worry this isn’t a trick. Just want to test my pain tolerance. I have this HUGE match this weekend against this jerk, and I need you to kick the crap out of me… what do you say?
Homeless Man- That’s very nice of you, but I think what you need is some psycho out of control homeless guy. I’m more like the broken, spiritless, ‘i’ve lost the will to live’ type of homeless guy.
Alice Knight- Um, how about for two dollars…?
MOMENTS LATER
We cut to Alice standing in front of the homeless man who is now holding the bread pan. Around them are a couple of cats laying around.
Homeless Man- So why would you want me to beat you with this again?
Alice Knight- I told you already. I’m a professional wrestler getting into a hardcore match this weekend… and…and I need to know what it’s like to take a beaten with a weapon… duh…
Homeless Man- But you’re a pro wrestler? Aren’t you rich? Aren’t you all rich?
Alice Knight- Nope. Far from it. I’m not rich; I may look it with my fancy clothes and my nice hair. But I’m like Albert Trump, or whatever his name is, he may be one of the richest men in the world but it’s all tied up in stocks and stuff. I’m not liquid sir… I’m not liiiiiquid. SO let’s just do it. (Alice takes off her glasses, closes her eyes and stands stiff with her head out) Come on. Come on. I want you to do it. I want you to do it. Hit me. Hit me. C’mon hit me! HIT ME! HIT ME!!!!
The homeless man gets scared and holds up the bread pan, closes his own eyes and whacks the pan across her face. Alice staggers around holding her cheek.
Alice Knight(staggering around)- Owe. Fucker! Do it… do it again.
Homeless Man- No. I can’t, ma’am.
Alice Knight(holding up the dollar bills)- TWO! DOLLARS! DOOOOO IT! Get my back. Do my back! DO IT!!!
Alice turns around as the homeless man, crying now, holds up the dented bread pan and brings it down hard onto her back. Alice falls to one knee, laughing.
Alice Knight- Come on, friend. Roach isn’t gonna hold anything back. He’s kind of like dry ice. No, wait, what’s colder than dry ice? I’ll tell you, Roach is! And he is going to let it loose on me in the hardcore match. I need to be able to take anything. Do me in the face again…. Do it….DO IT!
Homeless Man- Lady… lady… I can’t…
Alice just angrily points to the money clinched in her hand. The homeless man holds the pan up ready to swing. Alice smiles with her eyes wide open staring at the homeless man. He goes to swing but then drops the pan and falls to his knees crying. Alice sighs and walks closer to him and gets on one knee tapping him on the back.
Homeless Man(in tears)- I’m not, Roach. I’m sorry. I don’t like giving pain anymore since what happened to my family and….
Alice Knight(cutting him off)- It’s okay… there there. You’re not Roach, that’s for sure. Maybe this idea wasn’t the best anyway. I shouldn’t have used you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, then I say something else. I’m sorry. (rolls her eyes and sits on the ground next to him and hands him one of the dollar bills) Here… you can have half the money. Sorry I upset you.
Homeless Man(taking the money)- I’m sorry. I doubt Roach will break down like this, huh?
Alice Knight(chuckles)- No… no I highly doubt he will. He might though. He’s kind of a freak… I’m sure he gets his rocks off on beating people with weapons… and some freaks shed a tear when they’re getting off. Not that I would know or anything. (fakes a laugh) Ha! Ha! But I guess I’m kind of ready for this… I’ll just have to take whatever he gives me… and just like he will have to deal with whatever I give him… this is going to be one hell of a fight.
Homeless Man(moving closer to Alice)- I’m sure it will… so… are we gonna make love now?
Alice Knight(thinks about it rubbing chin)… Hmmm… (gets disgusted and shivers) Ugh, no. No thanks. Never. You’d have to murder me first… and rape my corpse…
Alice laughs as Homeless man scratches chin thinking about it staring at Alice. He then licks his lips. Alice gets a weird look on her face and quickly stands up, kicks away the cats around her and walks away from the homeless man towards her motel room. She slams her door shut as the scene fades.