Post by Alice Knight on Mar 17, 2014 15:57:47 GMT -5
The scene opens up with Leo the Intern rushing up to Alice Knight who is leaving the female dressing room carrying all of her stuff, her gym bag and also including her infamous ant farm. Her hair is still semi wet from the shower she must have just had. She is in a stripped black and white shirt, skirt, and black tights. She sighs at the sight of Leo running up to her.
Leo The Intern- Alice! Congratulations on your huge win tonight! First ever singles match… well fatal four way singles match, and you did it. And things at the end of the show got a little crazy, huh? I mean you, MJ, Pryde, Brianna and Danny B all starring down the Family was quite a sight to see.
Alice Knight- Aww. Thanks! Yeah it was a really cool moment. And The Harlequin and Mia Stone were amazing out there. A really tough challenge for my first match out there without Brianna. The other one? Not so much. Now, who ever you are, I need to go, the rent a car place is about to close in an hour and I need to get there… I also should hit the Laundromat and wash me ring gear. Pee-eww.
Alice tries to walk past Leo, but Leo awkwardly steps infront of her again.
Leo The Intern- Well Alice, do you mind if I have a quick interview with you? You’ve been getting very popular lately and this would be huge for me to get an exclusive.
Alice putting down her stuff.
Alice Knight- Popular? Me? Wow-zers! Well I’ll do the interview if I have full creative control in whatever is said and questioned. If not, no way buddy-goo. No way in Jesus Christ’s sweet name will I ever do an interview without it.
Leo The Intern- Um, I can’t promise that, sorry. I think I need to ask these specific questions. So no you cannot have creative control for this interview… but I’ll give you five dollars? And half a Kit-Kat bar I didn’t eat tonight?
Alice Knight.- Yes! Yes! I’ll do it, screw it. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Let’s do it. Screw it.
Leo hands her the crumpled up 5 dollar bill and Kit-Kat bar. Alice snatches it out of his hand and sticks both into her gymbag.
Leo The Intern (holds up his tape recorder)- Thanks Alice. This is great. Okay before we get to the match with Roach at Black Out 2, the question that every fan wants to know, how did someone like you get into the wrestling business? You know, being that you come from… you know… a more poverty back ground? I’m sure a lot of people are curious how you got where you are?
Alice Knight- Poverty? I wouldn’t say that. Like I told people before, I’m more like a great American success story. One day I’m living out of my car and the next day I’m living out of my car and I’m an OCW talent… and then the next day some ass hole like Roach wrecks your car… and your back to living on the street. But just because someone doesn’t have a place to shit, doesn’t mean she won’t. BUT I’m still an OCW talent. Funny isn’t it? Not to me. But some may get a crack out of it.
Leo The Intern- What do you think of people who might think of you as a joke? Like Roach and The Family and… I’m sure many others…?
Alice Knight- Well I don’t consider myself as a joke. Because I’m not a joke. If I were a joke, I’d be like an ant that needs to be alone. You know, I’d be independ-ANT. (Alice laughs) But the Family, Ian, Mario, Sean and that ass head Roach can laugh at me all they want, you know they also laughed at Lance Armstrong when he wanted to go to the moon. And now he’s up there, laughing at us.
Alice nods confident that last sentence made sense.
Leo The Intern- Um, okay. So how did you get into the business? How did you become an OCW wrestler? You were voted number 5 in the OCW Ten for the Win. So I’m very curious like many of the fans that follow you and Brianna and fans that may want to get into the business in the future.
Alice Knight(sighing)- Yeah you already asked that. Jeez. Where did you learn you’re interview skills from? Mister, um, Stupid, um, head? (giggles) But I’m very flattered I’m even considered a fan favorite and to be number 5 in that whatever contest is. But it’s quite simple really. I’m a pro wrestler. But long before I became a pro wrestler, I wasn’t one. As I trained my ass off, while I used to work at Taco Bell, putting meat slime into taco shells. It was rewarding work, with the added benefit of being unchallenging. Frankly, following a heated dispute with my manager over the meaning of the word ‘sick day’, I quit my job shortly after he fired me. Ugh, bringing back unpleasant memories. The point is, I skipped town in my car at the time, traveled around where no police could find me, then put my resume in with OCW. And here I am. An official OCW talent… is that enough information for you and your nosey fans? Jeeeeeez. You kids with your loud music, and your Ray Parker Jr. cassettes, your VCR machines, hula hoops and Sonic Hedgehog video games, don't you see? You people today have attention spans that can only be measured in nano-seconds! It doesn’t matter how I got here, or who I may or may not have murdered to get here. It’s about the fact that I’m here. And everyone needs to deal with it. (pulls the tape recorder closer to her mouth) You hear that, OCW world and the family. DEAL. WITH. IT!
Leo The Intern- I don’t think people really care that you…
Alice Knight(cutting him off) DEAL WITH IT!!!
Leo The Intern -… kay… now on to Roach. How do you feel about his comments he made earlier tonight at Massacre?
Alice Knight- Um, what did he say again? I was on some Quaaludes tonight, some student offered me some if they could grab my ass, so I took some and right now everything is a blur.
Leo The Intern- Riiiight. Well he said, and I’m paraphrasing, that you ‘screwed him out of his co-main event match at Black Out 2’ that ‘he will smash your head in at the Pay Per View and will spit on your motionless body’ and that ‘you cannot cook, and if you did it would just be chicken nuggets on the dashboard of you former car-slash-home’. Also something about you being a lesbian too…
Alice Knight (furious)- Can’t cook? Can’t cook? Me? I’m the cook freakin master. Now I’m not saying I haven’t cooked chicken strips on the dashboard… but really, who hasn’t cooked chicken strips on a dashboard before? Raise your hand? Anyone…
Leo raises his hand.
Alice Knight- Really? Oh. Not even the expensive kind, seven bucks? (Leo shakes his head ‘no’) Damn. Well I suppose it doesn’t matter. When you live in your car, or now, on the street, or at the dump, you have to adapt to your surroundings… now I know Roach is a ‘hardcore expert’ and has been through some dangerous matches that I have never been in before. And you may ask yourself, (puts finger above upper lip as a mustache and talks in a silly accent) ‘Muh, hey Alice, you beautiful thing you, why would you ask for a hardcore match with someone like Roach? Muh, meh, muh’… (puts finger down and talks normal) But I can adapt to anything. Freakin’ squirrels, peeing alley cats, ant infestation, freakin’ dump bees, hardcore matches, it’s all the same to me. I will survive. Roach may have the upper advantage, but I will tough it out there with him and give him a fight of a lifetime because I have some tricks up my sleeve too.
Leo The Intern- Really? Like what?
Alice Knight- Oh you’ll just have to wait and see. Roach messed with the wrong persons car-home when he destroyed mine. And personally I am not to blame for his loss out of the main event at Black Out 2. He got kicked out the moment he touched my sweet car and the moment he joined those idiots in the Family. And Brianna and I. With M.J. Bell. And that masked Pryde guy... We are gonna show the Family in Florida at Black Out 2 that they are not in control. That they can’t just go around hurting people. Why? What do you mean why, because they can’t. Why?? Because they just can’t, trust me on this…
Leo The Intern- I didn’t say anything… but if I were you, I wouldn’t get in a Hardcore match with Roach. We saw what he did to your car and your body with that baseball bat.
Alice Knight- Well… if you were me, then I’d be you. And I’d use your body to face Roach in a hardcore match. You can’t stop me no matter who you are. Ah-loser… And Roach wants to smash my face in? Wants to call me and Brianna lesbians? Why? Because we’re a female duo that kick ass? Why? Because she feeds me and takes care of me, and I try to do the same? Why? Because one night when we were driving, she fell asleep and I kissed her on the cheek… um… wait… edit that last part out… we’re not gay, but Roach is too stupid to see anything straight because of all the brain cells he lost from all the weed, cocaine, acid, whatever he is on. And bashing my face in? Spitting on me? Well all I can say is bring it on. Because this Goose only… um… uh… cooks, in …um…broth…(thinks for a second and then nods) yeah…. Well this has been fun, but I got’s to go… so where can I read this interview?
Leo The Intern- I’ll type it up and have it on the OCW forums tonight. Thanks again Alice. And good luck with your match with Roach. And be careful.
Alice Knight(tapping him on the head) – Wonderful! And I will… I will be careful when I get a hold of the baseball bat of his and smash him and beat him where it hurts…. His sack… his wrinkly old sack. Bye, friend.
Leo waves at her and walks away as Alice starts gathering her things and starts walking towards the exit when she sees Scruff the referee standing there eating a banana, also carrying his stuff. Alice walks by him.
Scruff- Ride?
Alice Knight(disappointingly shaking her head)- No. No ride. Sorry, Scruff…can I have a piece of that banana though?
Scruff(looking at the banana and disappointingly shakes his own head)- No.
Scruff takes a big bite of the banana infront of her and walks off screen as Alice sighs and slowly walks towards the exit carrying her things as the scene fades.