Post by richard on Mar 11, 2014 13:27:08 GMT -5
Richard stands in a coffee shop, microphone in his right hand while wearing a red sweat
shirt and khakis. He opens by gesturing to himself
Richard: Sorry this is the closest thing I have to modern-douchebag . . .
I mean hipster.
This surprisingly gets a few chuckles.
Richard: I have a weird job, anyone else here have a weird job? Nah, not
like me. I am a professional wrestler.
This gets a bigger laugh, Richard expects this and plays along not getting
offended.
Richard: I know right? Me? 5ft 8, 225 pound chubby four eyes but
it's true. OCW is the federation I work for, it's online championship
wrestling, like a facebook fight club.
Everyone is still interested.
Richard: I debuted and have been competing in these multiman
matches, like group sex only WAY more invasive.
big laugh*
Richard: No, No, No, nothing like that but I do live with a
bartender. A woman bartender of course. She's a fan of my work
anyway I have been on quite the losing streak.
Richard: Now that's believable right? But she still digs me
which is awesome. I mean as a fan. If I win this battle royal
match I get to face the internet champion, this really awesome
Japanese wrestler but if I don't get on the card, I don't get my
first Pay-Per-View Cheque and I end up spending some of my money
on a meal at the cheesecake factory with the bartender fan-girl
I live with in a non-sexual relationship. Yay!