Post by Brianna Casablancas on Mar 7, 2014 4:35:01 GMT -5
The scene opens up on Alice and Brianna driving down the road in the 1990 Volvo Wagon.
Alice and Brianna(singing together)- “Going to… take you apart… I’ll put us back together at heart, baby! Don’t you forget about…”
Just as the duo are about to finish off the Breakfast Club soundtrack when one of the back tires pops and the car twirls around out of control and they almost spin into a ditch before Alice can slam the breaks.
Alice Knight(covering her eyes)- Please tell me I didn’t hit a child, please tell me I didn’t hit a child… or worse, a dog. (looks at Brianna) Oh my god, what if I hit a child-dog…
Brianna Casablancas- You didn’t hit a puppy, love. I believe the back tire is flat.
They both simultaneously get out of the car and rush to back of the car and kneel down to look at the popped tire.
Brianna Casablancas – Well it shouldn’t be too hard to change the tire into the spare, right?
Alice Knight(pulling neck collar)- Spare tire, huh?
Brianna Casablancas- You don’t have a spare tire, do you?
Alice Knight- I sold it…
Brianna Casablancas- You sold your spare tire… for what?
Alice Knight(looking down ashamed)- A box of tainted canned ham. But listen, it was totally worth it… they weren’t THAT tainted… I didn’t even have to get my stomach pumped. Not a once…
Brianna Casablancas- Lovely.
Alice Knight(stomping her feet)- Great! Just great! Maybe now we won’t make it to Louisiana for Massacre and give Ian and Roach a god damn good beating… and they totally deserve a good one too. This sucks… i might just have to kill myself…
Alice starts picking at her wrists with her thumb nail but Brianna stops her.
Brianna Casablancas- Patience darling. We’ll get to Massacre, it just might take a little push and shove on our part but is life if not a bunch of little challenges that we are meant to overcome? I believe we passed a town about three miles back ...there has to be a mechanic there. At the very least we will be able to grab a spare.
Alice Knight- You mean...wa-wa-wa-walk?
Alice immediately starts scratching at her wrists again, but stops and calms herself down.
Alice Knight- Fiiiiiiine. Let’s do it.
Brianna Casablancas- SMASHING!
Brianna pulls a few water bottles from the backseat of the car and tosses two to Alice.
Brianna Casablancas- I do enjoy a stroll every once in a while. Make sure to ration that though so you properly hydrate yourself. And don’t worry, I will make the jaunt a lark for you. As long as we are doing it together, nothing will be painful.
Alice walks up to her car and hugs it.
Alice Knight- We’ll be back, home. Don’t you worry... Love you lots.
Alice kisses the window and the two start walking towards the town.
The town is BARELY even that. This little obscure place off the side of the road seems to consist of a gas station, a diner, and a convience store. It looked grim for them until the clerk in the gas station sent them a little further inland down a dirt road where the ONLY mechanic in this dusty old town resided. But the gas station attendant made sure to point out that this mechanic was the BEST in town. Neither of the ladies didn’t point out that it seemed that there was only ONE mechanic in the town and therefore it would be very easy to be the best.
About twenty minutes later, Brianna and Alice entered the office of the mechanic who seemed to be asleep at his desk. Brianna did noticed a plaque on the wall that said “Automechanic Bachelors Degree.” It at first looked promising but then she scanned downwards and saw what many consider the Rent-A-Degree company: University of Phoenix. Brianna sighs as Alice moves closer to the sleeping mechanic.
Alice Knight- Hey mister… mister… hey… (Alice looks back and Brianna shrugging)... I hate to disturb a good sleep.
Alice notces a bell on the desk. And quietly taps it. Nothing. She taps it again. Still nothing. Losing her patience she grabs the bell and smacks it down on the desk three times. The mechanic falls out of his chair but hurries to his feet.
Mechanic- What in the blue blazes do you want?
Alice Knight(trying not to laugh)- Blue blazes? What does that even mean? Listen, sorry to wake you up from your slumber but word is you’re the BEST mechanic in town and we we’re wondering if you could give us a hand with my, um, OUR car. (Alice gives Brianna a thumbs up) By that degree on your wall, you have to be pretty damn good, right?
The Mechanic gets a VERY smug on his face as he hears his name mentioned in the breath as BEST.
Mechanic: Little lady. I am not only the best in town but I am Awesome at fixing up cars.
Brianna, who has been trying to keep her mouth this whole time finally can’t hold it in as she speaks to him.
Brianna Casablancas- Now, when you say the word awesome, HOW are you awesome at being a mechanic.
The mechanic seems a little confused as to what she is getting at ...but he doesn’t want to for a minute come off clueless to anyone and does what any person who is awesome or incredible or Great does: talks out of his ass.
Mechanic- I am awesome because I fix cars for a living and I am the best at it.
Brianna seems a tad confused and thought maybe she didn’t completely understand ...but then realized that the problem might not be with her.
Alice Knight- So that’s why you’re awesome, huh? Because you just happen to do it for a living? Sounds like a load of crap to me… and with your fancy internet degree and all your jibber jabber coming out of your yapper… sounds alot like someone we know. Not naming names though…
Mechanic gets offended. But smirks back.
Mechanic- Well that person sounds incredible if you ask me… and I don’t like your attitude ma’am… maybe I shouldn’t help you out at all…
Brianna has seemed to be deep in thought during this conversation but then immediately jumps in.
Brianna Casablancas- Lets head back to this degree of yours for a moment…
Mechanic- YEAH ...I totally earned that degree.
Brianna Casablancas- So you went to school and took the proper channels to earn a degree in something that normally doesn’t require a degree? That is prettyd bloody determined love.
Mechanic- Something like that.
Brianna Casablancas- By “something like that” you mean what exactly?
Mechanic- What do you care? I have the degree that is all that matters.
Brianna Casablancas- Oh absolutely and who are WE to take that away from you? But indulge me for just a moment will you? SO ...you are an AWESOME mechanic?
Mechanic- YEP!
Brianna Casablancas- Okay ...and you are the best in the town ...even though you are the ONLY mechanic in the town?
Mechanic- Yep. I don’t see the problem.
Brianna Casablancas- You also don’t see the contradiction but that is okay. And finally, you have a degree that was handed to you because you paid enough money for it?
Mechanic- That didn’t happen.
Brianna Casablancas- Then what really happened?
Mechanic- I just woke up one morning and I had a degree. The guy who I woke up next to told me that I earned it and I took everything he said at face.
Brianna smacks her head at the sheer lack of logic from this mechanic.
Alice Knight- Aaaaaaand that makes you the best? Makes your awesome? Because ‘buddy told you that you earned it’? And let me guess, you go around bragging about that around town too? And these poor people believe you? I guess some idiots will believe anything. Listen. We don’t really need a mechanic… not even an awesome one… we actually just need to purchase a tire and maybe a ride back to my home, er, um, car. Car. Yeah, car. So why don’t you do something awesome, incredible, whatever and go grab us one? Kay?
Mechanic- Just hold on a minute. I don’t like you’re attitude. Either of you. Why should I help you out?
Alice Knight- Because my bestie friend over here has money to give you for a tire. And if you’re anything like the person you remind me of. You’re willing to sell yourself out for some cash… so just do it…
Mechanic- I will sell you a tire but don’t think for a moment that I am going to be giving you a ride anywhere.
Brianna has a smirk on her face as Alice doesn’t look happy with the idea of walking three hours again.
Brianna Casablancas- And I am sure the tire will be overpriced?
Mechanic- OF COURSE!
Alice Knight(waving her hand infront of the mechanics face)- The tires will NOT be over priced, and you WILL give us a ride…(Mechanic shakes his head) ... dammit, it would have worked if I was Qui Gon Liam Neeson...
Brianna Casablancas- I wouldn’t expect any less. And don’t worry about that ride, we’ll find someone in town and if we can’t do that. Neither one of mind walking.
Alice sighs.
The mechanic shrugs and goes into his garage and soon brings out a tire.
Mechanic- Two hundred dollars.
Brianna smiles.
Brianna Casablancas- Cheaper than I thought love.
Brianna puts two hundred dollar bills on his desk still keeping that lovely smile on her face.
Mechanic- Pleasure doing business with you.
Brianna Casablancas- I am sure it was. Stay the best in a small town off the side of the road.
Alice and Brianna both grab the tire and look at each other as they leave the mechanic’s office. They suddenly burst into song.
Brianna and Alice Singing- “EVERYTHING IS AWESOME! EVERYTHING IS COOL WHEN YOU ARE PART OF A TEAM…”
Alice pushing the tire walking next to Brianna a ways away from the town and toward's Alice's car. The two both seem content with their string of bad luck on the road.
Alice Knight- That was too funny. And the way you just threw down that two hundred dollars. So bad ass. I just wish that mechanic didn’t have so much pull in town… no one would give us a ride. And walking is for the birds… well not really birds. But you know what i mean. I guess that town is like a cult or something… kind of like the way Ian and Roach follow the ‘family’... so pathetic…
Brianna smirks at her partner and now, she is positive for sure, friend as she lets Alice push the tire, preparing to do her share in two minutes as they have been going on five minute intervals to not wear the other out. Fortunately, Brianna made sure to buy plenty of water for both of them ...as Alice bought an 8-liter of Mountain Dew.
Brianna Casablancas (after taking a sip of her water)- Yes love, even after years of studying the human mind, I am still taken off guard as to how closed off people are ...and in the case of Roach and Ian, how gullible people can be sometimes. I remember when I first entered OCW, I faced ANOTHER one of Mario’s underlings. And, like Ian and like Roach, he was a poster child of inescurity. And like Ian and like Roach, he was absolutely DESPERATE to feel like he was in control ….so much so that he guaranteed he would never have it. He kidnapped one of my patients and tortured. He guaranteed that I would lose; that I would be nothing. And where is he now? He isn’t active that is for sure. Because this isn’t a FAMILY to Mario Marauko. This is anything BUT a family. Its a NETWORK of cannon fodder for ONE man.
Alice Knight- Too true… too true. So he kidnapped one of your patients, eh? Crazy. And i imagine you kicked his ass… what kind of nuts his Mario running in this ‘family’ of his? I guess anyone that would accept Roach as a member can’t be all there. I mean seriously, Roach? What is this guy thinking? I guess… he isn’t thinking with all that doob smoke messing up his noggin. Then again, I’ve sniffed some gasoline in my day… but you know what? Not a huff since i started hanging out with you. Isn’t that great? I mean i’m the great American success story if you think about it. One day i’m living out of my car and the next day i’m living out of my car and i’m main eventing a OCW Massacre with the coolest chick on the planet. I mean, damn.
Brianna Casablancas- Firstly, I am flattered but I am just as honored to have you there with me and I am absolutely thrilled that you are making personal growth through this. THAT is all you and has NOTHING to do with me. It is just you starting to believe in yourself. And NEVER compare yourself to Roach. The two of you are NOT the same thing; you are not the same person. You have a nasty habit that you are trying to kick and you know you would be healthier without. Roach thinks that his strength is from his bad habit. Roach believes that he is special BECAUSE of the drugs. He is just as dependent on the delusion pot makes everything better as Ian is dependent on feeling special because of something he wears around his waist more than something he achieved. And this Mario bloke takes these two VERY unsure souls because they are easy to be used. They are easy to throw out at others to take the fall for him. The last family that I saw recruit insecure people into their ranks was named Manson.
Alice Knight- Yeah! But boy, Charlie could sing! But you’re so right. Just do me, the OCW fans and yourself a favor at Black Out 2. Take that Central Championship off Ian for good. You let him have it long enough. He doesn’t deserve to even THINK he’s a REAL champion. And god, whatever you do don’t let Roach get that belt either. Or we’ll all be out of a job and living in our cars…
Brianna Casablancas- It is all apart of the experiment, love. He wasn’t handed the title because he deserved it. He was not handed the title because I didn’t want the responsible. He was handed the title because he needed to get a taste ...he DESERVED a taste. His attitude didn’t just earn him the ability to never have what he wants ...no, that would have been too easy. What he deserved was to have something in his hands that he wanted but wasn’t his ...not really. He needed that fleeting moment; that false sense of victory. He needed that so when it was taken away from him, it would ALL finally sink in. He would finally realize that it takes more than giving yourself a title to be the person on top which is what he really wants; he wants the attention. It takes more than coveting. It takes substance. Not just to be a champion ...but to be an actual human being. He has shown none of that substance. He has shown that he is just a catchphrase who speaks in obvious observations of people and thinks that is trash talk. As for Roach, well, I’ll be honest, I expected someone to make their claim towards the title because of the circumstances. But unfortunately that person was more about networking than the title he wanted. It was more important to be part of a corporation; an organization. But happens when that bell rings and he realizes that he wants the central title ...and if one of them wins ...what happens when Mario realizes that his cannon fodder are given more chances than himself? Win or lose, this is destined to blow up in their faces.
Alice Knight- Ka-Boom! Just remind me to get some popcorn, with extra butter, to watch that happen. And i know you have both of them at Black Out 2, but i’m going after Roach on Massacre. Hitting me with a baseball bat… hitting US. Dude has to pay… dude WILL pay.
Alice stops rolling the tire and takes a drink of Mountain Dew. Brianna walks over to the tire and starts rolling it on the road.
Alice Knight- Thanks, Bria. Legs are getting a wee-bit sore. (laughs) But yeah, Roach and Ian need to go down at Massacre.
Brianna Casablancas- And they are going down because they don’t know what Family really is. They have no idea what a partner is nor someone that could be trusted. All three members of The Marauko “family” they WANT. They are partners out of necessity; they are partners because of a numbers game and NOT out of admiration for the other. How can people like that trust each other? The answer is that they simply can’t. You and I. We aren’t controlled by the base desires that they are. And that is how we go right back to substance. You and I, we have substance. Substance as individual; substance as partners; and substance as, what I believe, friends. They fight with baseball bats and the NEED to feel important. WE don’t need those things. We just need the belief in ourselves and the TRUST of each other. I am NEVER going to screw you over for a title and you know that just as I trust that you will not do the same to me. The family will never be able to say that. The Family will NEVER be able to have that. And most importantly the family can just never comprehend that.
Alice Knight- You don’t have to worry about me… i got your back, side, front… you can count on me, friend. Wow. That was corny.
Brianna smiles at this as she continues to roll the down the road as Alice’s car is still a ways out. Before she can say anything in response to her partner, they both suddenly hear a loud engine somewhere behind them. They turn to see a HUGE bus coming towards them. Both seem to be a bit confused as the bus comes to a stop right in front of them. On the side of the bus is printed the words “THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER!” Brianna and Alice look at each other as the door to the bus opens up and two well built men in man speedos come out. I third one pops out from the door. The third man gives the girls a charming smile.
Speedo studmuffin guy- Hey ladies, we are on our way to a national male stripper competition and we are looking for two girls to oil us up before each competition.
Alice and Brianna both turn towards each other in awe. Alice then looks at them excitedly and with great enthusiasm.
Alice Knight- Boy, are you guys in luck. Is this your lucky day.
She then points a little up the road.
Alice Knight- There is a town about three miles up that way that has tons of young ladies. You are bound to find someone there that will jump at the chance to oil you up.
The third man looks at both of them confused but begins to head back inside.
Speedo Studmuffin Guy- Um ...thanks.
Brianna and Alice smile at each other as the bus takes off but then Brianna gets startled as she realizes something.
Brianna Casablancas- WAIT! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?
Brianna says holding Alice’s shoulders and shaking her before chasing down “Thunder From Down Under” bus. She catches up with it and starts banging on it to stop. The bus finally does stop. The doors open up to reveal a bus full of half naked men in speedos. Brianna catches her breath for a moment and then addresses them.
Brianna Casablancas- You’ll have to excuse my friend ...she is a little daft…
She then points to the other direction.
Brianna Casablancas- THE TOWN IS BACK THAT WAY!
The men on the bus roll their at them before shutting the bus doors and driving off. Brianna and Alice walk back to the tire. Brianna starts rolling it again as Alice follows along with.
Alice Knight- What a break for two lucky girls. Travelling around and greasing up a bunch of male strippers for a couple of days ...while they were heading towards my car.
Brianna Casablancas- Buck up, love. We will find our break ...and I have a feeling that that will be at Massacre.
They both smile at each other they happily continue to roll the tire up towards Alice’s care.
FIN.
