Post by Brianna Casablancas on Mar 5, 2014 3:14:36 GMT -5
We open on a shot of Brianna waiting out side the arena, holding her stomach from the baseball bat hit she received from Roach earlier in the night. She checks her time on her watch. She then see’s old blue 90’s Volvo Wagon puttering up slowly to Brianna. We see that it is Alice Knight driving the rusty beat up car. She rolls down the window where we hear ‘Birdhouse In Your Soul’ by They Might Be Giants blasting from inside the car. She turns down the volume down.
Alice Knight- Heyyyyyy! You best get in or you’ll catch yourself a cold…
Brianna smiles at Alice and before entering the car she speaks to herself.
Brianna Casablacans- I think this is going to be the start of a beautiful ...and somewhat unpredictable ...relationship
Brianna gets in the car slowly, minding her ribs, and Alice immediately skids out of the parking lot with the engine making a weird grinding sound. Alice turns toward her.
Alice Knight- Firstly, if I must say, you have a wonderful singing voice. When you sang your own rendition of that Weird AL song for Ian… I mean wow. Very well done and very clever. I’m not one to brag, but I know a little Weird Al too… (Alice clears her throat) “I LOST ON JEOPARDY, BABY! OoooooooOOOuOooooo!” Or, or, or “EAT IT, JUST EAT IT! WOOOO!” I can also do a pretty good Amish Paradise…
Brianna IMMEDIATELY jumps in on the conversation as these two ladies seem to have A LOT in common despite their social class differences.
Brianna Casablancas- It is true. Bad Hair Day was a revelation and got me through some hard times during my sophmore year. But I must say your taste in music is quite inspired in that TBG paved the way for greats like Barenaked Ladies and Presidents of the United States of America.
Alice Knight- I don’t really follow politics… but how naked are these ladies?
Brianna giggles at her friend with her usual smile that never really seems to fade.
Brianna Cassablancas- I am not sure how nude they are; the last time I checked they were overweight thirty something men but ...like our opponents for this coming Massacre, they are very Canadian. And not like the “let’s pretend we are Italian to fit in with that really cool guy with the muscles” Canadian like Ian and Roach but purely Canadian Canadians.
Alice nods while trying her best to pay attention to the road ahead of her while still trying to keep up in conversation.
Alice Knight- Totally. They are like really-really-really Canadian. Not to say all Canadians are weird, gross and stupid… but… it’s kind of what I’m saying. I mean what the hell is the deal with Roach? Joining up with muscles and dirt bag? And hitting us with a baseball bat? I mean what the hell? Also feel free to use some of those frozen peas i have in the back seat cooler to put on your stomach. It really helps swell down the pain…
Brianna digs in the back cooler and see’s the pea bags, but they are all empty.
Alice Knight- Oh, right. I may have eaten some of them first. We can stop and pick up more if you need it?
She lifts up her shirt to show that the ribs are taped up and healing just fine.
Brianna Casablancas- It is fine love. This will do for now ...I am getting very used to taking a beating every Monday nowadays. It seems to be a lot of people’s favorite past time ...I liken it to taking out their frustrations due to their own short-comings. As it refers to Reginald R. Roachington, I would imagine that he is one of those blokes who cannot handle his marijuana addiction and it has fryed his brains to the point where he cannot make proper decisions for himself. He needs to be dragged around by that flashy looking gentleman and now he feels like he needs Mario and Ian to tell him what to do. If he were to put the pipe down for five minutes, he would realize what a prime position he is in by being opposed to the Central Champion rather than being yet another bodyguard for him ...that he seems to need a lot of to protect him from a woman. But we will see that put to the test at Blackout 2. Ian on the other hand is quite easier to explain ...he believes that networking equals being a great ring technician and champion ...because that worked so well for him at Resurrection. But neither him, nor his friends can see what is clearly in front of him: the more bodies he puts in front of himself and the more he pretends like he WON our match, the less Incredible the rest of the world sees him as ...because so far all he has managed to do was briefly win small battles with the random beat down here and there ...but where it REALLY counts, he has come up short.
Alice Knight- For realz. He is just a … what do they call it… paper champion? Man that was great when the OCW fans chanted that at him. Almost looked like he was gonna cry. So awesome. I wonder if deep down inside he really believes he’s like the TRUE Central Champion of OCW? He is Canadian, so he probably does… sadly. But at Black Out 2 you’ll show him again. Just like you did in the Mirrors match at Resurrection. Still don’t know why you gave him that title you earned… i mean, i get it, you proved your point. Proved you’re better then that dirt bag. But shit, girl. You could be holding that sexy looking belt around you right now and collecting the major money… well as major as OCW can afford. Hell if i went through the kind of match you two did at Resurrection, I’d sure as hell would have kept the title for myself. Just when you win at Black Out 2 don’t give it to Roach… he’d probably use the championship belt as a bong or something… Plus he deserves a good ass kickin’ from that baseball hit he gave us…
Brianna calmly looks at her Alice, not as upset with their situation as her partner. She puts her hand on her shoulder.
Brianna Casablancas- It is all about the long con, love. American society nowadays is so hung up on instant gratification. Roach and Ian represent that in their actions.They fight with beat downs and weapons because that is all they know ...that is all they have. I would not have given Ian the title had I actually thought for a minute that I could not take it back from him whenever I wanted to. It is all about the longterm experiment, not about the match by match or show by show happenings. I am quite content with my upper middle class wage I get from my psychology career ...I do THIS because I love it, not because I want to get paid for it. But I realize that while the title is not as important to me as experimentation, I DO realize that titles are important in that for a lot of the roster this is their life; the only thing they do. And there is good money with holding such titles, which is what I want for you. You are far too talented to be starving while Ian Bishop gets to eat like a king and Roach has the funds to pay for his major munchies. It isn’t fair nor just but that is the way of the world. What I CAN do is facilitate you being brought up to their level ...and did Dean make that possible at Massacre.
Alice looks happy with her partner and very humble as she steers her old car down the road.
Alice Knight- You already have. I mean, I’m main eventing Massacre. Do i deserve to be in the main event? Probably not. But I’m not complaining about it. Hell if my old Taco Bell manager could see me on Monday next week… he’d know exactly why i quit that job to follow this dream. Loser. (Alice laughs) But I have alot to learn from you. I mean i am so grateful for you picking ME out of everyone in the company. Giving me this opportunity to be your partner, feeding me, hopefully paying for gas too. Sure i didn’t expect a baseball bat to the stomach first time out, but shit happens when you party naked. Whatever that means. But you’re right. I need to stop focusing on simply just earning money and focus on the more important things… and with your help I’ll… um… know what those things are. But first things first, we need to take care of Roach and Bishop. And I wish i had the confidence that you clearly have, but, i know Ian can bring it and Roach, as stupid as he looks isn’t a pushover either. I mean maybe weed gives Roach a special strength like spinach did to Popeye… and maybe not bathing and seeing Mario’s ripped body gives Ian some special ability too. I don’t know. But I’ll be honest, I’ve never been challenged in a match like this before. I just hope i don’t let you down…
Brianna Casablancas- There is no way you CAN let me down because we aren’t some pyramid scheme nor some corporation or cult that is trying to write ourselves off as something that does NOT represent those things: a family. Yes, I understand that it is a play on being in the mafia because Mario is Italian ...and somehow anything Italian has to do with the mob ...because you know ...stereotypes. But these three men are not a family, they are three men who are using each other to get riches. There is no bonding; there is no love; there is no teaching ...there is only a means to an end. That is not a family dear, that is a corporate entity. And corporate entities are known for being cold and soulless; no passion whatsoever. I believe that if you are doing something you enjoy with great passion that money and titles will come along with it. Wins and losses are secondary to just going out there and having fun. In fact, the ONLY way that can let me is if you come in with the same perspective as Ian and Roach in that you are so intense about wins or losses and titles at all costs. If you become a pill, that will let me down. But if in this tag team match, you stand with me and fight with me without those things in mind and just LOVE the thrill of the moment with me, there is no letting me nor yourself down.
Alice swerves the car as she seems to be in awe of her tag team partner's wisdom as her tag team partner seems to be proud of her partner's enthusiasm and willingness to go with the flow.
Alice Knight - Wow. You should totally be like a motivational speaker or something. Do some seminars for people like me, bums, junkies, prostitutes…kind of like George Clooney in that one movie… um… what was it called… The Perfect Storm. Or was it Batman and Robin? That’s beside the point. I’m not, as you say, intense on wins and losses or titles or fame. Hell I gave up fame along time ago when my polka album didn’t sell a few years back. But I mean, sure it’s a pretty sweet bonus if we HAPPEN to win and get super famous but don’t worry, i will stand next to you at Massacre against Ian and Roach and win or lose, we’re not going down without a fight. High five?
Alice takes her hands off the steering wheel and puts up her hands for a high five. Brianna quickly grabs the steering wheel and quickly slaps her hands as Alice takes over the wheel again.
Brianna Casablancas- Well ...this is going to be quite the experience to say the very least.
Brianna Casablancas- “Bah DuhDuh”
Alice Knight- “Badh DuhDuh”
Brianna Casablancas- “Bah DuhDuh”
Alice Knight- “Badh DuhDuh”
Both- “Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Duh Dow”
The two girls sing at the top of their lungs as Brianna is driving on the wrong side of the road towards a roadside dinner somewhere in Texas ...but before they get off at the exit ..Alice helps Brianna steer away from colliding with a mac truck.
Brianna Casablancas- “And I would walk five hun-”
Alice Knight- “dred”
Brianna Casablancas- “Miles and I would walk five hundred”
Alice Knight-”more.”
Brianna Casablancas- “Just to be the man who’d walk-”
Alice Knight- “AH!”
Brianna Casablancas- “Thous-
Alice Knight- “AND”
Brianna Casablancas- “miles to fall down at your-”
BOTH: “DOOOOORRRR!”
As the song ends,it seems that now both Alice and Brianna are helping each other steer towards a parking spot ...and barely break without hitting anything. Brianna shuts off the car as the girls get out of the car. Alice goes to the pump and looks at Brianna and holds out her empty pockets.
Alice Knight- Um …
Brianna Casablancas- Don’t worry about it, love. This trip is on me ...mostly because I believe your days of being strapped for cash are close to being over.
Alice Knight- Cool.
Suddenly Alice then stops herself.
Alice Knight- You aren’t expecting any ...um …”favors” or anything like that?
Brianna Cassablancas- Favors?
Alice Knight- You know ...favors.
Alice gives her a wink and then is about to do the index finger through the hole sign but realize that doesn’t work so she just smacks the two holes together. Brianna finally realizes what she is alluding to.
Brianna Casablancas- Oh heavens no.
Alice breathes a sigh of relief.
Alice Knight- Thank god. No offense but that would be like SO awkward. ...though I think it would make us maybe a little more popular with the fans.
Brianna Casablancas- No, no. The only thing I want out of this is you getting a feeling of self-accomplishment as well as a higher self-esteem on yourself and your abilities.
Alice Knight- Well you are doing that for sure with your words of wisdom. And I LOVE words! I mean besides vomit and maybe blood, words are what comes out of my mouth most frequently. Let me just dig in my pockets here for food and gas money…
Alice slowly and nervously digs into her empty pockets for a few seconds waiting for Brianna to interupt.
Brianna Casablancas- I’ll go ahead and pay up for the gas and I’ll meet you inside for a mid-day meal.
Alice Knight- Cool.
Brianna leaves the pump as Alice prepares by flipping up the gas cap. As she makes her way to the cashier and convient store section of this roadside stop, she passes by a VW bus with several stickers with weird evil clown looking designs. She shakes her head at how ghastly and gaudy this vehicle is until she notices on the back window there seems to be a picture of Roach from a recent magazine article taped to it. She chuckles to herself as she enters the diner. The young lady makes her way to the counter and gives the young man her credit card while flashing him her usually lovely smile.
Brianna Casablancas- Good day young sir. How are you on this fine March afternoon?
He is taken aback by her pleasantness but answers anyways.
Clerk- Um, I guess I am okay.
Brianna Casablancas: SMASHING! May I get sixty on pump three and a table for two?
Clerk: Absolutely, ma’am. Take any seat you would like.
Brianna Casablancas- Thank you, dear.
She makes her way into the diner area and can already hear the chatter of a group of young men who are taking about the things young men with not a whole lot of ambition talk about: sticky, sticky Mary-Jane. Out of sheer curiosity she takes a seat near them ...mostly because she is fascinated by people of all different kinds of walks of life. And these men are certainly from a VERY different dimension for they seem to be wearing clown make up. They also seem to have varying facial piercings in addition to their dreadlocks and black t-shirts, one of which has one her opponents at Massacre on it: Roach. These four young men seem to be lost in their conversation about vapors Vs. smoking out of an apple ...you know important real world stuff. But suddenly, their conversation switches to something she is fairly more familiar with: the Massacre the night beforehand.
Septum Pierced Clown- That show last night was soooo sick! Roach was so great. He beat up two women with a baseball bat.
Eyebrow Pierced Clown- FINALLY! There is someone in wrestling who stands up for our strong beliefs and principles.
Nose Pierced Clown with Hollywood Undead Tat on Neck: What kind of baseball bat was it dude?
Eyebrow Pierced Clown - Shut the fuck up, Donny. Those chicks deserved what they got. Not sure about Roach joining the ‘family’ though… but I respect Ian and Mario for picking him.
Septum Pierced Clown- I can’t wait for Roach and Ian to beat that Brianna and that hobo chick’s ass again on Massacre next week. And then Roach going to Black Out 2 and becoming the OCW Central Champion...
As she listens into the conversation between this queer group of fellows, she is joined by Alice Knight at the table who gives her a curious look as Brianna is quite clearly eavesdropping on these four.
Alice Knight- So what’s the deal with the freaky clowns? Is the carnival in town? Gooble Gobble One of us! One of us! (Alice laughs to herself) What are they talking about?
Brianna Casablancas- It seems, from their t-shirts and tattoos, that they are followers of cult with the initials ICP. I will give them credit, it is the most creative cult I have ever seen. And they seem to be huge fans of our good buddy Reginald Vel Roachson. What a small world this is sometimes, is it not?
Alice holds up a menu and hides her face behind it, peeking over the top looking at the Roach fans. She then notices the breakfast section of the menu.
Alice Knight- If they are still serving breakfast i’m getting three eggs over easy, hash browns, wheat toast, extra buttered, links if they got them, and maybe a coffee… black… with a side of cream. God that’d be amazing…
Brianna Casablancas- I can’t see why they could not whip you up whatever you would like. Its twenty four hours and they apparently have “The Best Eggs in Texas.” So that is a thing apparently.
Alice Knight - Well that’s so bad ass. Might as well throw in a baked potato too, liberally buttered… and for dessert a buttered piece of pie. On me. (winks at Brianna) But I don’t know what this I.C.P, C.P.U, C.U.P clown business means. But if they are fans of Roach, then they clearly aren’t all there, brain wise. We should buy them a round of drinks… and by we, i mean you…
Brianna gives her a wink.
Brianna Casablancas- I don’t think that is necessary love … it seems they are coming to us.
The septum pierced clown suddenly notices the two women and starts staggering towards them with a look familiarity as well as confusion ...along with desperation as most young men are with two young ladies.
Septum Pierced Clown: HEY! Where do I know you from? You two look familiar. Didn’t I buy crystal meth off you once?
They don’t know which one of them he is speaking to as he seems to be staring at both of them.
Alice Knight- Uh, no. But I think it was you who might have made animal balloons at my nephew's 5th birthday party…
Septum Pierced Clown: Are you coming onto me?
Brianna and Alice look at each other wondering how he could even think they were flirting with him. They were more expecting him to get offended but they were clearly underestimating how fried this gentleman’s brain was.
Brianna Casablancas- Oh, dear, I think you are highly mistaken here. But I can tell you where you know us from. You were actually just talking about us.
Septum Pierced Clown: Um ...what? I have no idea what I was just talking about.
Alice Knight- We know that. We can read your mind… (does the X-Files theme) Dooo-do-do-do-do-doooooo. But seriously, maybe your almighty savior Roach could help refresh your memory. From what I remember, he has a pretty good swing with a ball bat. Not a homerun or anything… but a good enough swing…
Septum Pierced Clown- What?
Brianna, while still smiling, does a face palm while chuckling.
Brianna Casablancas- Oh my stars, you certainly are quite, as you yanks would say,
Alice and Brianna do hand quotations for the next word.
Brianna Casablancas- “Baked” aren’t you? I believe we have to spell it out for you. We are those
Alice and Brianna do quotations with their fingers again.
Brianna Casablancas- “bitches” that your buddy Roach beat down with baseball bats. And we are quite pleased to make your acquaintance.
Brianna holds out her hand but the clown just looks at her confused and offended for reasons he doesn’t quite understand.
Alice Knight(sighing)- Maybe one of your friends over at your table could help you out of your confusion… maybe the one with the pierced nose that kind of looks like Peter Criss from KISS can walk you through who we are. (looks at Brianna) I hope Roach remembers who we are at Massacre, i mean if he’s anything like his dumbo followers… (looks back at the clown) Oh you’re still here? Adorable…
Septum clown- WAIT! You are the girls that Roach beat up last night! I KNEW IT! Heh heh that was cool!
Brianna Casablancas- I am curious as to what else you think is “cool.”
Septum clown- You know figuring out how fucking magnets work, double rainbows, and smoking mad bowls SON!
Brianna Casablancas- Well that last one is obvious. And I suppose that Roach is a great role model for the less determined lot in the world.
Septum Clown- WHAT? You got a problem with weed.
Brianna Casablancas- I do not have a problem with marijuana in general. I, every once in a while, do not mind taking a toke or two.I take offense with, as a psychologist, is the crutch that pot smoke has become to some in society these days. It is really no different than alcoholism ...and maybe a tad more dangerous because at least alcohol motivates you to sleep with people you wouldn’t otherwise do so. Cronic marijuana use leads to a lack of determination and motivation ...but WORSE than that is that it becomes your identity. And THAT is the problem. Here you have Mr. Roach claiming that weed gives him special powers and strength. He is taking his god given abilities and talent and chalking all of that ...that has always been inside himself ...to his drug of choice. That is dangerous and unhealthy for it shows a HUGE lack of self-esteem and self belief in himself. His marijuana use doesn’t give him powers, it is simply a mask he wears to hide his insecurity and deny his true strength within.
Alice Knight(nodding)- Pretty much what she said. But sadly weed.. um… marijuana isn’t his biggest problem right now. He done messed up when he joined that new ‘family’ of his. I mean, seriously? Now he’s at best a second banana to Mario and Ian. The third wheel if you will. Ha that rhymes. And yeah, that was SO cool of him hitting us with baseball bats. Well, he’ll get wants coming to him… we’ll get him right where it hurts…on Massacre. Run along now… we’re through with you...
Septum pierced- Um what?
Brianna Casablancas- Okay, there is only one way to end this.
Brianna pulls out a twinkie from her purse and tosses it back towards his clown friends. Alice is about to dive for it herself ...but Brianna holds onto her shoulder gesturing to stay still. The Septum pierced Clown leaps after it.
Septum pierced Clown- Oooh free twinky.
Alice gives her a look and Brianna winks and pulls another twinkie out of her purse and tosses it to her tag team partner.
Brianna Casablancas- Now where in the heaves is that waitress?
Alice Knight(mouthful of twinkie)- No-gh. Doubt-gh. No tip for her… by the way, i got the tip…
The scene ends with Brianna and Alice holding up a menu each as it fades to black.
