Post by rumormill on Aug 14, 2018 7:12:42 GMT -5
Rumors are running rampant that both Outsiders turned OCW stars Uber Man and JAM G, commonly known as "Dos Gringos En Las Máscaras" back in Outsiders, have been going through the training of a lifetime in the Florida home of Commissioner Mike Zybala. We here at the Rumor Mill have managed to get our hands on a snippet of a phone call from Uber Man to his Aunt April.
"April: (sounding groggy) Hello?
Uber Man: (in a frantic whisper) aunt April! It's me!!
April: Me who?
(sounds of yelling and screams can be heard from the background)
Uber Man: Darn it, are you drinking too much orange juice again?! Never mind! Listen, you need to get me from Mr. Zybala's house now!
April: Don't you have a car, dipshit?
Uber Man: He took the tires off while I was sleeping! Then he strapped them to JAM G and he's making him not only run laps but throwing stuff at us to improve our agility and dodging abilities!
April: Dumb question, but why didn't he strap the tires to you?
Uber Man: He had weighted clothing laying around. Only one set so JAM got the tires.
(Zybala in the background) IF YOU DODGE A PIPE WRENCH, YOU CAN DODGE A CLOTHESLINE! DAMNIT EDDIE, SHOW ME SOME HUSTLE! ITS ONLY HUNDRED POUNDS! YOU DONT SEE UBER CRYING! SPEAKING OF.... MIKE! WHERE YOU GO?!
Uber Man: April! You move your ass and pick me the hell up dammit!
April: Did you just swear at me?! Fuck that, I'm leaving you with Zybala. It sounds like being with him is making you grow a set. I'm slightly, mildly impressed.
Uber Man: No! Please Aunt April! I'll do an.... AHHHHHH!
Zybala: There you are! I said no phone calls! Now both you and JAM can give me twenty laps! If you can't finish in a half hour, I'm adding another fifty pounds to the both of you!
(the call abruptly ends.)
April has yet to call the police, but gave us access to her phone for a bottle of vodka. More on this as it develops.
"April: (sounding groggy) Hello?
Uber Man: (in a frantic whisper) aunt April! It's me!!
April: Me who?
(sounds of yelling and screams can be heard from the background)
Uber Man: Darn it, are you drinking too much orange juice again?! Never mind! Listen, you need to get me from Mr. Zybala's house now!
April: Don't you have a car, dipshit?
Uber Man: He took the tires off while I was sleeping! Then he strapped them to JAM G and he's making him not only run laps but throwing stuff at us to improve our agility and dodging abilities!
April: Dumb question, but why didn't he strap the tires to you?
Uber Man: He had weighted clothing laying around. Only one set so JAM got the tires.
(Zybala in the background) IF YOU DODGE A PIPE WRENCH, YOU CAN DODGE A CLOTHESLINE! DAMNIT EDDIE, SHOW ME SOME HUSTLE! ITS ONLY HUNDRED POUNDS! YOU DONT SEE UBER CRYING! SPEAKING OF.... MIKE! WHERE YOU GO?!
Uber Man: April! You move your ass and pick me the hell up dammit!
April: Did you just swear at me?! Fuck that, I'm leaving you with Zybala. It sounds like being with him is making you grow a set. I'm slightly, mildly impressed.
Uber Man: No! Please Aunt April! I'll do an.... AHHHHHH!
Zybala: There you are! I said no phone calls! Now both you and JAM can give me twenty laps! If you can't finish in a half hour, I'm adding another fifty pounds to the both of you!
(the call abruptly ends.)
April has yet to call the police, but gave us access to her phone for a bottle of vodka. More on this as it develops.