Post by ocwnewsline on Jul 7, 2018 19:52:26 GMT -5
~We cut to a reporter outside of OCW HQ. it is Who’Re!! She’s got a fierceness about her we rarely see. She is focused – missionized if you will~
Who’Re: Hello everyone, I’m here for some breaking news. Last night OCW HQ released a controversial tweet featuring THIS image
Who’Re: Yes, that appears to be what people in the adult film industry and lonely, horny men (and some women) refer to as A CASTING COUCH. OCW twitter claimed that it was all part of the interview process. Well, folks, this just isn’t going to fly with this woman! Nor will it with these!
~We cut to an angry hoard of female protestors. They are waving signs around and chanting “HELL NO WE WON’T GO! HELL NOT WE WON’T GO!” They stop. One woman changes the chant. “AH SHIT WE WON’T SIT!” They continue chanting while marching toward the building~
Who’Re: AH SHIT WE WONT’ SIT! C’MON GIRLS, LET’S MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
~They reach the front of the building. They find the doors to be LOCKED! Who’Re tries to use her employee pass to open them but, it’s too late. The angry women BURST through the doors with the fury of a thousand scorned concubines. We follow them as they march through the entrance, toward an OCW secretary~
Secretary: What’s all this about?
Who’Re: Sweetie, we are sorry for what you had to endure in order to get this job. No more! Let’s right some wrongs!
~The secretary doesn’t know why, but she gets swept into the passion of the protestors, marching along. They storm down a hallway. Head of HR Cap Slock emerges from his office. He has a stunned look on his face when he sees the group of angry women marching his way~
Cap Slock: WHAT IS THIS MADNESS? CAN I HELP YOU LADIES?
Who’Re: Where were YOU while this vile act was taking place? Aren’t you the head of HR?
Cap Slock: YES MA’AM I AM. BUT I’M SORRY TO SAY I HAVE NOT A CLUE AS TO WHAT YOU ARE REFERENCING.
Who’Re: Move out of the way, Cap Slock! You’re not going to stop us!
~Cap Slock has no choice but to jump back into his office. The protestors continue marching. We cut to the inside of the OCW interview room. We see an elderly woman sitting on the couch, enjoying a spot of tea. The door nearly flies off the hinges! The woman screams in terror! She leaps off the couch…we see the couch, empty…aside from the official OCW Tony the Spider pillow~
Who’Re: THERE IT IS! LET’S GET IT!
~They rush for the couch. They kick it, they claw at it…eventually they are able to lift it over their heads. They exit the office, with the couch high in the air, chanting “AH SHIT WE WON’T SIT” They reach the entrance of the office building and THROW the couch through a non-shattered glass door. Cap Slock is heard observing~
Cap Slock: WELL THAT SEEMS UNNECESSARY
~Perhaps it was, Cap Slock, perhaps it was. Sure, they could’ve used the already shattered door as an exit strategy but…what are you gonna do? They rush outside and rip the couch apart like feral carnivores dining on some disheveled corpse. One woman holds up a bottle of gasoline~
Woman: BURN IT DOWN!
~They soak the couch. Who’Re reaches into her massive cleavage to reveal – A LIGHTER! She rolls the wheel, creates a flame and tosses it onto the couch. The nefarious item of furniture BURSTS into flames with the women cheering. They start to hug. It is a very happy and emotional scene~
Who’Re: We did it, ladies! We did it!
~We cut back inside. Welsh enters the interview room to find the terrified old woman~
Marcus Welsh: Hello? Are you okay? Your tea…it’s been smashed! And…where is the couch? What’s happened?
~A woman bursts in – one from the protesters. She grabs the nearby camera~
Marcus Welsh: Hey! What are you doing? That’s my amateur photographer portfolio!
~The woman stops and browses through the photos. There are no nude photos…merely photos of nature, people in unique situations….ya know, classic amateur photography stuff~
Woman: Wow, these aren’t half bad
Marcus Welsh: Why thank you. I’ve spent nearly a decade working on those. Would you kindly…
Woman: FOR A RAPIST!
~She throws the camera dow and shatters it. Welsh lets out a horrific shout, falling to his knees. He fumbles the pieces around but, it’s too late. His portfolio has been destroyed. The woman grabs the elderly female by the arm~
Woman: Let’s go, grandma…
Elderly Woman: But I was here to view his portfolio, see if there were any photos we’d like to purchase for my stock photo company
Woman: That’s how it starts, lady. You’re looking at photos…then you’re in the photos and, well, next thing you know a penis is inside your vagina. Let’s go!
~We cut back outside where Who’Re stands, at attention. The female protestors are cheering while they watch the couch burn~
Who’Re: Another vile office practice put to bed. I am proud to have been a part of this. Thanks to everyone for their help and we will see you on Monday, at Massacre!
~We cut out~
Who’Re: Hello everyone, I’m here for some breaking news. Last night OCW HQ released a controversial tweet featuring THIS image
Who’Re: Yes, that appears to be what people in the adult film industry and lonely, horny men (and some women) refer to as A CASTING COUCH. OCW twitter claimed that it was all part of the interview process. Well, folks, this just isn’t going to fly with this woman! Nor will it with these!
~We cut to an angry hoard of female protestors. They are waving signs around and chanting “HELL NO WE WON’T GO! HELL NOT WE WON’T GO!” They stop. One woman changes the chant. “AH SHIT WE WON’T SIT!” They continue chanting while marching toward the building~
Who’Re: AH SHIT WE WONT’ SIT! C’MON GIRLS, LET’S MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
~They reach the front of the building. They find the doors to be LOCKED! Who’Re tries to use her employee pass to open them but, it’s too late. The angry women BURST through the doors with the fury of a thousand scorned concubines. We follow them as they march through the entrance, toward an OCW secretary~
Secretary: What’s all this about?
Who’Re: Sweetie, we are sorry for what you had to endure in order to get this job. No more! Let’s right some wrongs!
~The secretary doesn’t know why, but she gets swept into the passion of the protestors, marching along. They storm down a hallway. Head of HR Cap Slock emerges from his office. He has a stunned look on his face when he sees the group of angry women marching his way~
Cap Slock: WHAT IS THIS MADNESS? CAN I HELP YOU LADIES?
Who’Re: Where were YOU while this vile act was taking place? Aren’t you the head of HR?
Cap Slock: YES MA’AM I AM. BUT I’M SORRY TO SAY I HAVE NOT A CLUE AS TO WHAT YOU ARE REFERENCING.
Who’Re: Move out of the way, Cap Slock! You’re not going to stop us!
~Cap Slock has no choice but to jump back into his office. The protestors continue marching. We cut to the inside of the OCW interview room. We see an elderly woman sitting on the couch, enjoying a spot of tea. The door nearly flies off the hinges! The woman screams in terror! She leaps off the couch…we see the couch, empty…aside from the official OCW Tony the Spider pillow~
Who’Re: THERE IT IS! LET’S GET IT!
~They rush for the couch. They kick it, they claw at it…eventually they are able to lift it over their heads. They exit the office, with the couch high in the air, chanting “AH SHIT WE WON’T SIT” They reach the entrance of the office building and THROW the couch through a non-shattered glass door. Cap Slock is heard observing~
Cap Slock: WELL THAT SEEMS UNNECESSARY
~Perhaps it was, Cap Slock, perhaps it was. Sure, they could’ve used the already shattered door as an exit strategy but…what are you gonna do? They rush outside and rip the couch apart like feral carnivores dining on some disheveled corpse. One woman holds up a bottle of gasoline~
Woman: BURN IT DOWN!
~They soak the couch. Who’Re reaches into her massive cleavage to reveal – A LIGHTER! She rolls the wheel, creates a flame and tosses it onto the couch. The nefarious item of furniture BURSTS into flames with the women cheering. They start to hug. It is a very happy and emotional scene~
Who’Re: We did it, ladies! We did it!
~We cut back inside. Welsh enters the interview room to find the terrified old woman~
Marcus Welsh: Hello? Are you okay? Your tea…it’s been smashed! And…where is the couch? What’s happened?
~A woman bursts in – one from the protesters. She grabs the nearby camera~
Marcus Welsh: Hey! What are you doing? That’s my amateur photographer portfolio!
~The woman stops and browses through the photos. There are no nude photos…merely photos of nature, people in unique situations….ya know, classic amateur photography stuff~
Woman: Wow, these aren’t half bad
Marcus Welsh: Why thank you. I’ve spent nearly a decade working on those. Would you kindly…
Woman: FOR A RAPIST!
~She throws the camera dow and shatters it. Welsh lets out a horrific shout, falling to his knees. He fumbles the pieces around but, it’s too late. His portfolio has been destroyed. The woman grabs the elderly female by the arm~
Woman: Let’s go, grandma…
Elderly Woman: But I was here to view his portfolio, see if there were any photos we’d like to purchase for my stock photo company
Woman: That’s how it starts, lady. You’re looking at photos…then you’re in the photos and, well, next thing you know a penis is inside your vagina. Let’s go!
~We cut back outside where Who’Re stands, at attention. The female protestors are cheering while they watch the couch burn~
Who’Re: Another vile office practice put to bed. I am proud to have been a part of this. Thanks to everyone for their help and we will see you on Monday, at Massacre!
~We cut out~
