Post by Detective Jack Puffer on Apr 20, 2018 19:18:11 GMT -5
~We cut to the interior of a Starbucks. Jack Puffer is seated at a table staring at a piece of paper with the letters “OCW” written in bright, red ink. A barista walks by, sweeping~
Jack Puffer: Excuse me, m’lady…but may I use the lavatory?
Barista: Not unless you buy something!
~Puffer sits back, disappointed. He turns toward the camera~
Jack Puffer: Hello OCW fans! I, Detective Jack Puffer, am here with some breaking news that I’ve recently discovered. A rumor that could change all of our lives…
~The barista finishes sweeping and heads behind the counter. She whispers something to a co-worker. They eye Puffer suspiciously. Puffer leans in, staring at the camera~
Jack Puffer: After much detection and investigative work I have uncovered a great secret. I have learned that OCW may, possibly be returning in the near future!
~Puffer knocks his fist proudly against the table while leaning back, smiling. He nods with excitement. In the background we see the barista on the phone, eyeing Puffer~
Jack Puffer: Now, I can’t confirm this...so don’t get your hopes up. But I will, no doubt, get right on the case for more information and, hopefully, further clarification.
~A cop car pulls up outside of Starbucks. Two cops step out and head inside~
Jack Puffer: And, I know what you’re thinking…if OCW is returning, will we see Jack Puffer back inside an OCW ring? Well…I’m proud to tell you that
Cop: Excuse me
Jack Puffer: Excuse you is correct, my good man. I was just in the middle of a critical investigation.
Cop: Yea, well you need to buy something or leave.
Jack Puffer: My good man, I never drink coffee past five o’clock in the afternoon. The thought is unimaginable!
Cop: Well, then leave
Jack Puffer: In good time, sir.
~The cop sniffs the air~
Cop: What is that hideous odor?
Jack Puffer: Oh, just an afternoon snack…some brain food, really
~Jack pulls out a box of cheap pizza~
Jack Puffer: Excuse me, m’lady…but may I use the lavatory?
Barista: Not unless you buy something!
~Puffer sits back, disappointed. He turns toward the camera~
Jack Puffer: Hello OCW fans! I, Detective Jack Puffer, am here with some breaking news that I’ve recently discovered. A rumor that could change all of our lives…
~The barista finishes sweeping and heads behind the counter. She whispers something to a co-worker. They eye Puffer suspiciously. Puffer leans in, staring at the camera~
Jack Puffer: After much detection and investigative work I have uncovered a great secret. I have learned that OCW may, possibly be returning in the near future!
~Puffer knocks his fist proudly against the table while leaning back, smiling. He nods with excitement. In the background we see the barista on the phone, eyeing Puffer~
Jack Puffer: Now, I can’t confirm this...so don’t get your hopes up. But I will, no doubt, get right on the case for more information and, hopefully, further clarification.
~A cop car pulls up outside of Starbucks. Two cops step out and head inside~
Jack Puffer: And, I know what you’re thinking…if OCW is returning, will we see Jack Puffer back inside an OCW ring? Well…I’m proud to tell you that
Cop: Excuse me
Jack Puffer: Excuse you is correct, my good man. I was just in the middle of a critical investigation.
Cop: Yea, well you need to buy something or leave.
Jack Puffer: My good man, I never drink coffee past five o’clock in the afternoon. The thought is unimaginable!
Cop: Well, then leave
Jack Puffer: In good time, sir.
~The cop sniffs the air~
Cop: What is that hideous odor?
Jack Puffer: Oh, just an afternoon snack…some brain food, really
~Jack pulls out a box of cheap pizza~
Jack Puffer: Would you care for a slice?
~A kerfuffle takes place. Lots of struggling, grunting and scuffling! Puffer is eventually tossed from Starbucks and into the backseat of a police car. He seems very perturbed. He speaks to us before the door is slammed shut~
Jack Puffer: Well that was quite unexpected! No worries, OCW fans…I will get to the bottom of this and the rumored OCW return. Until then…rest easy knowing that Detec…
~SLAM! The door is shoved right in Jack’s face~
~A kerfuffle takes place. Lots of struggling, grunting and scuffling! Puffer is eventually tossed from Starbucks and into the backseat of a police car. He seems very perturbed. He speaks to us before the door is slammed shut~
Jack Puffer: Well that was quite unexpected! No worries, OCW fans…I will get to the bottom of this and the rumored OCW return. Until then…rest easy knowing that Detec…
~SLAM! The door is shoved right in Jack’s face~