No deadline will stop me!

[The Ubertaker]

(Completely forgot the deadline was Saturday instead of Monday... Decided to post this anyway since I just got done writing it.)

--Mike Roth pushes a mop back and forth in a men’s restroom. Specifically, inside a stall that seems to be covered in piss. Regardless, Roth pushes on.--

I do this job every day. I clean the filth that the fans of Online Championship Wrestling leave behind every Monday night. After every special event. I cleanse this place.

--Roth dips his mop into the bucket, getting it nice and wet. He smacks it back on the ground, scrubbing the ground again.--

Just as I cleanse this place, I will cleanse the world of Outsiders. I will remove the vile. I will-

--Flatulence is heard several stalls down, as it is a public restroom. Roth shudders a little in disgust as the one who occupies that stall lets out a few grunts with more flatulence.--

--Roth puts the mop back in the bucket and leaves the restroom.--

--He begins walking down the hall, backstage of Online Championship Wrestling.--

If only these people knew who I was… What I’m capable of…

--He walks past numerous dressing rooms: The Distinguished. Vargas. Emery. Crimson. Barnes. O’Connor. TIO. The list goes on and on.--

A roster of superb talent. One day I will step into the ring with these gladiators. I will fight alongside the heroes, and I will vanquish the villains.

--He pauses, looking down at the ground: He stepped in gum.--

Jiminy Christmas! Every day!

--He reaches down. Despite his best efforts, he can’t pull the gum off his shoe.--

Dadgummit…

--He pulls the mop out and holds his foot up. He attempts to mop the gum off the shoe. When it doesn’t work, he rubs it harder.--

--Unfortunately, he loses his balance. He crashes into the ground, hitting his mop bucket and sending it spilling everywhere.--

Crap!

--He looks up and sees Welsh staring at him from down the hall. Roth opens his mouth to say something, but Welsh just shakes his head and walks away.--

-=======-

--Roth sits at his computer in his bedroom.--

The world must be talking about me. About their new hero.

--Roth looks at a wrestling website and searches for “Uber Man.” A post pops up…--

Been following Outsiders. Lots of strange characters. Janitors, rednecks, Uber drivers, and even-

Wait, what the crap?!

--Roth stands up and slams his hands on his desk.--

I’m not an Uber driver! Why does everyone keep saying that?! WHY?!

--He starts hitting the desk some more.—

--His bedroom door flies open. There stands Aunt April.—

For the last time, shut the fuck up!

You don’t understand!

I don’t give a shit!

I’m a hero! Not a driver! Vaughn is responsible for this! The Janitor! He won’t defeat me!

--April looks confused. She lights up a cigarette.—

Whatever. Just keep it down, you ---got.

--April shuts the door behind her.—

--Roth fumes.--

They’ll learn. They’ll all learn to fear and respect…

The Uber Man.