Post by WilsonTheVolleyball on Jan 28, 2015 13:10:24 GMT -5
OCW Newswire Wrestler Blog. January 28th, 2015
Hey what's up guys? Randy Valdez here! Why no Ricky? Well, I'll get to that shortly.
So as many of our fans know, we're just mere days away from the card of OCW Revenge being finalized. There are just a few spots open and President Dean is looking for some new talent to come and claim their part of wrestling history. That's where Awe.Some comes in!
Sort've.
Rachel thought it would be a great idea if Ricky were to write a blog about what the average work day at OCW headquarters is like. Why? Well because it would be a great way to show the free agents out there what a great company they could be working for if would just put down the Cheetos and get down here.
Oh, and the reason I'm writing this instead of Ricky is because he's gotta prep our D&D game this weekend. That takes time. (I'm playing a Paladin! 
)
So what follows is a 100% factual timeline of the average workday here at Online Championship Wrestling. And by 100% factual, I mean I might bend the truth here or there just a smidge in order to make this article more interesting. After all no one wants to hear about how many spoons of creamer Smith puts in his coffee. Rest assured though that any sensationalizing of events is kept to the absolute minimum.
8:00 AM
Pulling into the parking lot just in time for another exciting day of work here at OCW! The parking lot is largely filled around this time so I tend to park in the back. Okay, let me revise that... The parking lot is largely filled with people who have already been working here so I'm forced to park in the back. No problem though! The yellow Smart Car can park just about anywhere.
While I'm parking my car up against the bike rack, I do notice an insanely huge parking space near in front of me. My initial guess is it was a bus stop but upon further inspection I see a sign that reads: reserved for Big Bifford.
"Holy hell!" I said. "What in the world is that guy driving?" I asked to parking attendant lady, to which she replied, "Bifford doesn't drive."
8:10 AM
After making my trek under the blistering sun, I enter the nice, climate controlled and fairly out-dated carpeting of the OCW headquarters. The halls seem endless, turning this way and that. I venture down the hall I started in and come to a break. There's crayon written on the wall...
FUN! 
)
<---------------------------
------------------------------>
WORK! )O:
As fun as fun sounds, I unfortunately have to go to work, so I head right. Usually around this time the halls begin to clear up as people have made their way to their offices. As I head towards my main work area, I pass by various closed office doors. One door in particular is hard to miss, mostly because there's smoke billowing out from under the seam. It's not black smoke either.
I look up at the name plate and clearly see BOB GRENIER written on the name plate.
Ah, nothing to see here then. I continue forward and come across a sheep standing in the middle of the hall munching on a fern plant. I look back at Bob's office, but the door is still closed.
"God damnit." I carefully try to slide passed the sheep.
"BAAAAAAAAH!"
Sigh.
9:40 AM
Cold Calling. The worst part of the job.
"Hi ma'am! Randy Valdez here! Would you be interested in ordering OCW Revenge?"
This is my morning in the cubicle, phone in ear.
"Hello sir! Randy Valdez here! Can I interest you in some wrestling this morning?"
"Yes ma'am, we really do wrestle Online. Hence our name."
"Why yes sir, I do plan on putting my life on the line!"
Once you make that sale though, it all becomes worth it. I got a few orders this morning and if I keep up this pace, I might get that highly sought after prize Transformers coffee mug!
11:15 AM
Lunch time! The break room at OCW is certainly admirable. It's well lit, tidy, has a large microwave, and even one of those little things that spray air fresher right at your face whenever you enter the room. I head over to the kitchen to get that sandwich I brought in from yesterday (It didn't have mayo, it's good) and I notice something taped to the refrigerator door:
Hey that's pretty good.
You know they say you can tell a lot about a person by how they eat. That's certainly true here in OCW. Tatum Coe is pretty raw so he only eats sushi. Danny B is all about tea and crisps with his British accent. And you can tell Chad Vargas is gearing up for the fight of his life. How?
Because the fridge is stocked completely full of Sweet Baby Ray's.
"Goddamnit Chad..."
I buy a Pop Tart from the vending machine and sit down when Smith comes into the room. We exchange greetings and he promptly sits down.
"Hey Randy. Did you see Ashe Dawson's vignette?"
"No," I say. "Should I be interested?"
"Absolutely. He has something to say about guys like you and your brother. Well, not directly, but he says he's here to bring back wrestling in this world of 'Sports Entertainment.' Here see for yourself."
Smith slides his phone over to me and begins to play the video.
12:40 PM
My brain snaps awake and I jump to my feet rubbing the sleepiness out of my eyes.
"Shit. What time is it?"
The Mouse Clock on the wall says 12:40. I'm late...
12:45 PM
I try my best to slink into the meeting room where President Dean, Rachel, and a few other execs are discussing business. They see me though. I get a stern look from Rachel for being 15 minutes late but Dean is clearly focused on more important matters.
He's wearing a lab coat. In fact everyone is. There's a PowerPoint Presentation up with all kinds of pie charts and graphs. On the center of the table is a miniature model of some kind of chamber. Every now and then someone in a lab coat drops an ice cube into it while Rachel and Dean discuss equilibrium or something. I dunno. It's all witchcraft to me.
3:30 PM
Another day another dollar and I'm ready to hit up the McDonald's Value Menu like a beast! Then I get to my car and realize one small problem: Big Bifford is now standing in front of the bike rack.
So it looks like I'm just gonna have to wait this one out. But hey I wouldn't trade it for much else at this moment! So if you're a wrestling free agent and want to come work in a one-of-a-kind environment, then look no further than OCW! You won't be sorry that you did. You might like it here.
Don't forget to follow Rachel on Twitter @awesomerachelv