Post by Brandon Eastman on Aug 6, 2014 23:33:46 GMT -5
(Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart is playing - Newspaper clipping are flashing on the screen)
"EMF - EVERYONE WANTS A.I.D.S!"
"BRANDON EASTMAN AND THE JAGERBOMB FROM HELL - DAN GOODWIN INJURED IN HELL IN A CELL"
(A Voice over is heard in a Cocky - Italian American Long Island New York type accent - the shot pans over a pair of title belts laid out on a table)
Voice: Fuckin' Greatness - some people immitate it, some fuckin strive for it and others...like Me are fuckin' born with it.
(A small montage video shows two totally ripped guys holding a pair of Tag Team Titles in the air as they bump fists in the air, the scene changes to a totally ripped fuckin' greek like God powerbombing a skinny runt into the mat - the ref counts a three count and the man stands up and flexes - pointing to his left arm with his right finger standing over his opponent)
Voice: White or Black, Fuckin' Asian or Russian, Big or Small they all fall at the feet of The Strong Island Express!
(The video ends and we are greeted with a guy wearing a simply AMAZING Ed Hardy shirt - with the collar POPPED - sunglasses resting on his face as his perfectly fuckin' manicured hair is in the FRESHEST faux-hawk you're ever going to see he snears as he looks at the camera)
Brandon: Yo OCW - your fuckin' future has arrived, you're looking at 6'4 241 pounds of big swingin' fuckin dick that's here to put this fedeartion back on the right on fuckin' track - if you could somehow bottle the fuckin' excellence that seeps out of my pores you'd be a rich fuckin' mook! I got a phone call the other night while I was sitting in my club..Ladies night..GLOW fuckin Nightclub in Strong Island..wet t-shirt night broski titties were everywhere there was fuckin skanks in wet t-shirts, skanks in no fuckin' shirts at all, skanks fingerbanging each other in the booth with the broski who was rolling on Molly AND Cialis I was as hard as a fuckin' New York Times Sunday Crossword when my phone rang (immitates the phone ringing and holds it up to his ear) and it was my Boy..Treat Fuckin' Cassidy asking if I'd fly into Connecticut to see him - now there's two things that I normally won't do in my fuckin' life time one is give a skank money to get home in the morning and two is go into a fuckin state that contains Hartford - however this time I made the trip and Treat and I talked it out, I arrive here to see shit like a fuckin' Hobo girl beating up a fuckin' retard in a green Leotard...two fat mooks named the Monster and Robert...some French fuckin' guy talking about how great he is - well Grenier I can tell you right fuckin' now you haven't stepped into the squared circle with anything great until you've spent a night in the ring with the Broski!
Me arriving here in this fuckin' two bit fucked up asshole organization is a thing of beauty - much like the warm sun rising on the shaved beaver of Marissa Tomei a thing of fuckin' beauty chief, once I hit that ring mooks, and the Jagerbombs flowing the OCW will never...EVER fuckin' be the same Chief! Now get the fuck outta here I gotta go get my fuckin' haircut!
(Scene fades out to black as Sunglasses at Night begins to play again)
"EMF - EVERYONE WANTS A.I.D.S!"
"BRANDON EASTMAN AND THE JAGERBOMB FROM HELL - DAN GOODWIN INJURED IN HELL IN A CELL"
(A Voice over is heard in a Cocky - Italian American Long Island New York type accent - the shot pans over a pair of title belts laid out on a table)
Voice: Fuckin' Greatness - some people immitate it, some fuckin strive for it and others...like Me are fuckin' born with it.
(A small montage video shows two totally ripped guys holding a pair of Tag Team Titles in the air as they bump fists in the air, the scene changes to a totally ripped fuckin' greek like God powerbombing a skinny runt into the mat - the ref counts a three count and the man stands up and flexes - pointing to his left arm with his right finger standing over his opponent)
Voice: White or Black, Fuckin' Asian or Russian, Big or Small they all fall at the feet of The Strong Island Express!
(The video ends and we are greeted with a guy wearing a simply AMAZING Ed Hardy shirt - with the collar POPPED - sunglasses resting on his face as his perfectly fuckin' manicured hair is in the FRESHEST faux-hawk you're ever going to see he snears as he looks at the camera)
Brandon: Yo OCW - your fuckin' future has arrived, you're looking at 6'4 241 pounds of big swingin' fuckin dick that's here to put this fedeartion back on the right on fuckin' track - if you could somehow bottle the fuckin' excellence that seeps out of my pores you'd be a rich fuckin' mook! I got a phone call the other night while I was sitting in my club..Ladies night..GLOW fuckin Nightclub in Strong Island..wet t-shirt night broski titties were everywhere there was fuckin skanks in wet t-shirts, skanks in no fuckin' shirts at all, skanks fingerbanging each other in the booth with the broski who was rolling on Molly AND Cialis I was as hard as a fuckin' New York Times Sunday Crossword when my phone rang (immitates the phone ringing and holds it up to his ear) and it was my Boy..Treat Fuckin' Cassidy asking if I'd fly into Connecticut to see him - now there's two things that I normally won't do in my fuckin' life time one is give a skank money to get home in the morning and two is go into a fuckin state that contains Hartford - however this time I made the trip and Treat and I talked it out, I arrive here to see shit like a fuckin' Hobo girl beating up a fuckin' retard in a green Leotard...two fat mooks named the Monster and Robert...some French fuckin' guy talking about how great he is - well Grenier I can tell you right fuckin' now you haven't stepped into the squared circle with anything great until you've spent a night in the ring with the Broski!
Me arriving here in this fuckin' two bit fucked up asshole organization is a thing of beauty - much like the warm sun rising on the shaved beaver of Marissa Tomei a thing of fuckin' beauty chief, once I hit that ring mooks, and the Jagerbombs flowing the OCW will never...EVER fuckin' be the same Chief! Now get the fuck outta here I gotta go get my fuckin' haircut!
(Scene fades out to black as Sunglasses at Night begins to play again)
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