"I think I need to call my therapist."
Sept 1, 2024 19:32:16 GMT -5
Derek Mobley, Alice Knight, and 2 more like this
Post by Mack O'Connor on Sept 1, 2024 19:32:16 GMT -5
He blinked his eyes. Once, twice, three times. The desert sunlight was way too bright, and Mack O’Connor covered his eyes with one of his hands.
…what the fuck…
Laying on his back, he rolled over to his stomach. His head was pounding, and he almost felt like he was going to throw up. Sweat began dripping off his forehead, his very expansive forehead.
What was he doing here? Why was he laying here in the sand? He didn’t remember anything. Anything, that is, except the hot desert sun beating down on him. That was ever so familiar.
Hey Mack. Mackaroni.
Mack closed his eyes. Who the fuck was talking to him…
He looked up. The green mask covering his face gave him away immediately.
The fucking Uber Man?
That’s me, bro-ham.
Why are you here?
I’m here to pick you up and take you on your way.
Who called you? I didn’t.
I can’t answer that, Mack Daddy. I just answer the ride requests. The requests are sent out into the universe, and I answer them.
Mack couldn’t deal with this. Not in his current state.
Can I ask where we’re going?
I’m going to take you on a journey. A journey down the history of your life.
Please don’t.
No choice. Get up, Mackie.
Go away.
Can’t do that. I’m dedicated to this job.
Go the fuck away or I’ll beat the shit out of you.
You can threaten me all you want. But it will only reinforce my resolve to do my duty.
How much are you paid? I’ll pay you more.
It isn’t about money. It’s about integrity.
I’ll pay you a lot more.
The Uber Man paused, considering the offer.
Do you have the cash on you?
Mack takes a breath.
No.
Well, then I guess we don’t have a deal. Get up. And lets get a-rockin and a-rollin’ and what not.
I hate you.
Oh Mack, you sound like my aunt. Do you drink a lot of orange juice too?
Wait… What?
Doesn’t matter. Get your butt up. We’re going on a journey.
So you’ve said.
----------
WAKE UP!
Mack jerked awake. He looked around. He was in the back of some cheap sedan, driving through the desert. His head was still pounding.
He looked to the front seat, where the Uber Man was behind the wheel of the vehicle.
Where are we going, Uber? And what is your real name?
You already asked that… And you should know my name. I’ve been in the business for some time now.
I’ve never given enough of a fuck to learn your name.
Uber jerked his head to stare down Mack through the rearview mirror.
In that case, you can just call me Uber.
Done and done. Again, where the fuck are we going?
We’re going on a-
A journey. A fucking journey. What does that even mean? Can you clarify that for me? Please?
They sit in silence for a moment.
No. I don’t think I will.
Mack punches the seat in front of him.
Fuck!
Please don’t strike the automobile furniture. Unless you plan on paying for replacements.
I’m in hell.
You’re in Arizona. So... Close?
---------
Mack and the Uber Man stand at the beginning of a long hallway. The walls of this hallway are plain white, with a number of black doors lining both sides. Almost like a fancy storage unit. The hallway seems to go on forever.
How did we get here?
In cinema they call it a jump cut.
We’re still in Arizona though, right?
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe we’re somewhere else entirely.
I… I really just want to know where we are.
There are lessons to be learned, Mackafee. And those lessons are more important than your stupid questions.
Is asking where we are a stupid question?
Yes. Who cares where we are?
I do. I need to know. So I can put together an escape strategy in case things get weird.
Why would things get weird?
I don’t know. Things are already weird. Why wouldn’t they get weirder?
Nothing is weird, Mack-N-Cheese. You’re just fighting your destiny. Stop fighting it. Give into it. Let it inside you.
Mack takes a deep breath.
Whatever. Let’s just do this.
Have you ever actually thought about your destiny, Mackdoodle? Have you ever thought about what may have come if you took a different path?
No.
I have. The universe has. Walk with me.
Uber Man starts walking down the hallway. He stops when he realizes Mack isn’t following him. He gives Mack a small wave of the hand, and Mack reluctantly starts walking with him.
Okay… We’re walking…
There are an infinite amount of choices you’ve made over the years. Choices that could have sent you on a number of very different paths. All these exist on different timelines that make up the vast expansive multiverse.
…what…
All these doors are windows for us to peak into those alternate universes. Mackiverses, if you will. The MCU. Mack Connor Universe.
O.
Yes, it’s a lot to take in.
No, I mean there’s an O in there. My name is O’Connor. So it doesn’t work.
Uber stops walking and turns to him, complete confusion and disbelief in his eyes.
Wait… Your name isn’t Mack Connor?
No. It’s Mack O’Connor. With an O.
Oh.
Yes, exactly.
They stand in silence for a moment as Uber takes in this new information.
Well… It works better if its Connor. So its Connor, okay?
No.
Uber ignores his protest.
As I was saying…
And if these doors are like windows, why aren’t they just windows?
Doors are easier to open and close. Can you be quiet? I’m trying to monologue.
You should know how I feel about those.
Speaking of… Let’s take this door here. Imagine if Mack Connor made a few different choices, and next think you know he’d go by Macky C, the Ripper.
The what now?
Uber opens the door, and they both look in.
They see a different version of Mack, with long flowing brown hair. The room is dark, and there’s a single window behind him. The window is open, and there’s rain pouring down outside.
This is a dramatic monologue. I’m monologuing so hard right now. No one monologues like me. Who needs a conversation when I can just…
Macky C takes a deep breath.
Monologue.
…the fuck…
What he actually is saying is meaningless, so I’ve enabled a device that translates it to what the readers will understand.
I’m ending my monologue now. Goodbye.
Macky C jumps out the window. Uber and Mack stare into the room blankly for a moment.
Anyway.
Uber shuts the door. They continue walking.
I would never speak like that.
The current you wouldn’t, Mackaroon, but other variants of you just might. There are countless versions of you out there who would do all sorts of things that you wouldn’t do now. For example…
Uber stops and opens another door. He and Mack look in…
In this reality, Mack is wearing swim trunks and a slim tank top. He has flowing brown hair again, and he’s walking along the beach. His mouth doesn’t move, but we hear his voice.
What is this life I live… My parents have tried to hold me back. They've never supported me… My girlfriend, Luca Femery, is the only thing that is positive in my life. She’s been suffering lately, depressed from a loss to our arch nemesis the Lyft Woman…
Uber leans into Mack.
That’s a chick variant of me.
I get it.
I can’t seem to help her. I want to, but I’m just so sad and lonely. Maybe I can talk to her brother about it… Her gay brother.
Wait a second… What the fuck is this?
This is your variant. Mosie Carnes.
Nope. Nope. Fuck this.
It’s tough being the Blue VIP.
Mack slams the door shut.
That was un-fucking-acceptable.
This is reality, Mack-o-potamia. The MCU is real.
Christ…
No, I can confidently say you’re never him in any universe… Although turning water into beer could be useful for you... Let’s continue…
They walk to another door.
What if Mack liked picnics…
Wait…
Uber opens the door.
Inside this door, they see a warm room that looks to be in a cabin. There’s a blanket on the ground. On that blanket sit MJ O’Donald and Alice Knight. Mack once again has hair, this time done up in a Gen Z “Zoomer Perm” as Google AI describes it. Alice looks exactly like Alice Knight always looks.
I can’t turn on the OCW fans. King and Queen. One bussin’ and one Ohio? I think that will just hit different. I mean… You’re fit. Those tattoos are bussin, on god. But I just can’t see it being based. Maybe we should just be friends?
Anything can work if you want it to, for real for real.
You really got me rizzed up. Bet. But how do I know you don’t have anything up your sleeve?
MJ slowly slides off his flannel shirt.
As you can see, I have nothing up my sleeves. No sleeves. No cap.
Alice reaches out to touch his rock hard abs.
Skibidi.
I’ve had enough.
Mack pushes the door shut.
Does that anger you?
Yes, it angers me.
The scene or the fact he has hair?
Fuck you.
Uber: Let’s move on, shall we?
I’m getting sick of this shit.
This is important for your character development. How can you figure out where you’re going if you don’t know where you came from?
I didn’t come from any of that shit. That’s all fake.
It’s not fake. It’s what could have been. Lets proceed.
Mack holds back his rage as Uber leads them to another door.
Go ahead, open it…
Mack takes a breath, grabs the handle, and opens it up.
Here, we see the variant known as The O’Connorable One. TOO for short. He’s in a hotel room in Rhode Island, sitting in a chair facing out a window. He’s looking through binoculars across the street, holding them with one hand. The other hand is holding his… Well… His little buddy down there. And let’s just say he’s abusing his little buddy rather aggressively.
Wait…
Oh yes… That’s the spot… You like that...
Um...I didn’t expect this.
Mmhmm…
Mack slammed the door shut without another word.
You’re fuckin’ sick, man.
Okay, that’s my bad. I honestly didn’t know that was coming.
Mack stares at him, Uber slowly giggles.
Eh? You get it.
Yes.
Moving on…
Fucking more?
Yep. There’s one where you give me Jager and weed and I die, only to be reborn as the Ubertaker.
That was Bob Grenier.
In some universes, that was Bob Connor. There’s another one where you’re actually two different people that form a tag team. There’s even one where you are in a relationship with Perzag.
A relationship?
Oh yeah, Gay Mack definitely exists out there. So does Gay Perzag. We call him Per---.
Welp, I’m sure that will get complaints.
It’s just a joke, and its not in bad faith. It’s just a joke. Because it rhymes See, when we joke…
Spare me. You’ll probably need to talk to Deangelo Vickers. Is he still around?
No.
Well. Okay.
There’s also one where Valerie kills you instead you killing her.
Stop… What?
Yeah, the roles are flipped. Same scene, but she mercy kills you instead of the opposite. There’s also one where you never got into crime and the two of you live happily together.
Mack takes a deep breath, contemplating.
Can I see that one?
Are you sure? You seemed pretty upset after the last one.
Seeing me in domestic bliss is different than seeing me tugging it to my own daughter.
Uber looks appalled. He points back to the previous door.
Is that what was going on there? I thought you were watching someone having intercourse across the street.
I was. It was my daughter and one of my enemies.
You pleasured yourself to your daughter and your enemy having intercourse?
No, I didn’t. But that guy did. He was going through some tough shit, and he was having a dream. I’m not going to justify it. In fact, it was actually The Incredi-… It doesn’t fucking matter! I didn’t do that!
TOO did.
I’m not TOO!
Well, you are and you aren’t. That’s how the Mackiverse works.
Just show me Valerie. Please.
Uber nods.
Right this way…
Mack follows him down the hallway. Uber steps aside and gestures towards a door.
This is the one.
Mack takes another deep breath. He opens the door.
Inside this door, we see a breakfast table in a typical suburban household. At the table is a baby in a high chair, and a young boy in a regular chair eating cereal.
Wow.
After a moment, Valerie walks by. Valerie being Mack’s dead girlfriend in the current timeline. Some years ago, he was forced to mercy kill her to prevent her from suffering a torturous death by the hands of a crime lord he worked with. It’s a long story.
Valerie walked to the high chair and started spoon feeding the baby some flavor of Gerber. Another moment passed before this version of Mack O’Connor walks in. He’s wearing a nice suit, tie and all. And wouldn’t you know it, he has a full head of thick hair that is slicked back with some gel. Domestic Mack gives Valerie a quick kiss on the cheek before pouring himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen.
This actually happened?
Not here. But there’s an alternate timeline out there where it did.
Mack swallows hard, as small tears begin to form in his eyes. Uber looks over and notices.
It’s the hair, isn’t it?
Mack glares at him for a moment before looking back at the domestic scene.
All of these universes were created by you simply making a few different choices. Small choices that would change everything forever. Even the smallest choice can create a butterfly effect that changes everything. A few small choices and this would be you. Living with Valerie. With your son Greg and daughter Jade.
Mack raises an eyebrow, glancing at Uber again.
I named my son and daughter… Greg and Jade?
The names must have meant something to you.
Mack blinks his eyes in disbelief as he stares back at the scene.
That’s a way to put it.
Domestic Mack walks back up to Valerie and the kids.
I’m late for work. Guys at the office are definitely going to give me a hard time for being late.
No worries. I love you.
I love you too.
Domestic Mack gives her a quick kiss, then gives baby Jade a kiss, then pats young Greg on the head before grabbing a brief case and leaving the room.
Mack takes one more look at Valerie before rubbing his eyes and shutting the door.
Okay, that’s enough.
Mack stands silently with his eyes closed for a few moments.
Do you understand what this has been about now?
I don’t know, man. I still don’t know what the fuck is going on.
Your choices, however small, affect everything. They sway your life back and forth and the results can be chaotic. You needed to see the alternative realities to understand this.
What choices could I have made to get this? So that she would still be alive?
That’s not for me to determine. I am here simply to show you what could have been.
I understand… I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you of all people would be someone capable of deeper thinking.
You’d be surprised at how closely you and I are linked. Just ask Zybala. He’ll tell everyone.
Uber shoots the readers a wink.
There’s another door I wanted to show you. Just like this one, but its Josie Barnes instead of Valerie.
Oh fuck off, you motherfu---
----------
He blinked his eyes. Once, twice, three times. The desert sunlight was way too bright, and Mack O’Connor covered his eyes with one of his hands.
…what the fuck…
Laying on his back, he rolled over to his stomach. His head was pounding, and he almost felt like he was going to throw up. Sweat began dripping off his forehead, his very expansive forehead.
This seemed familiar. What was happening? What the fuck was going on?
Hey, fuck bag. Get up.
Mack turned his neck to look up. There stood Chad Vargas, smoking a Marlboro.
Vargas?
Yes sir. Cassidy sent me to pick you up. He tried getting an Uber, but it was too hard to find one that would come out this far.
Where are we?
Vargas tilted his head, pointing at the federal prison that Mack was a guest of recently.
Vargas: You just got out of prison, hoss.
Dude… What the fuck is happening…
Vargas leans down and helps Mack to his feet.
One of the guards knocked you upside your head pretty hard. Can't blame you for forgetting.
Why am I out? Am I going to Survivor?
Survivor? What the fuck are you talking about?
That’s why I was being released, right? So that I’d go compete in Survivor?
No, that’s stupid. If OCW was having Survivor, they would have definitely let me know. I’m great at Survivor. They know that. They'd definitely call me.
I could have sworn that… Okay, nevermind. Why am I out then?
Still OCW related. I’ll fill you in. There’s a dude in a wheelchair, some sort of liquor, Grenier, and a bunch of others I’ve never heard of.
Why don’t I remember that?
Were you drinking?
I was in prison.
You never know. You want to grab a drink before I drop you off? There’s a pub down the road. It sells Budweiser, but not sure if it has any of that queer shit you drink.
Sure. Let’s go…
Mack follows Vargas to his car. He glances down the road. Off in the distance stand his variants. MJ O’Donald, TOO, Mosie Carnes, Macky C, Domestic Mack, and even one he assumes is Gay Mack.
No one is going to understand this. No one is going to get it.
Get what?
Mack looks back to Vargas.
The references.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Mack glances back at the variants, but they are no longer there.
You have a cell phone on you?
Sure.
I think I need to call my therapist.
That’s what the pub is for.
…what the fuck…
Laying on his back, he rolled over to his stomach. His head was pounding, and he almost felt like he was going to throw up. Sweat began dripping off his forehead, his very expansive forehead.
What was he doing here? Why was he laying here in the sand? He didn’t remember anything. Anything, that is, except the hot desert sun beating down on him. That was ever so familiar.
Hey Mack. Mackaroni.
Mack closed his eyes. Who the fuck was talking to him…
He looked up. The green mask covering his face gave him away immediately.
The fucking Uber Man?
That’s me, bro-ham.
Why are you here?
I’m here to pick you up and take you on your way.
Who called you? I didn’t.
I can’t answer that, Mack Daddy. I just answer the ride requests. The requests are sent out into the universe, and I answer them.
Mack couldn’t deal with this. Not in his current state.
Can I ask where we’re going?
I’m going to take you on a journey. A journey down the history of your life.
Please don’t.
No choice. Get up, Mackie.
Go away.
Can’t do that. I’m dedicated to this job.
Go the fuck away or I’ll beat the shit out of you.
You can threaten me all you want. But it will only reinforce my resolve to do my duty.
How much are you paid? I’ll pay you more.
It isn’t about money. It’s about integrity.
I’ll pay you a lot more.
The Uber Man paused, considering the offer.
Do you have the cash on you?
Mack takes a breath.
No.
Well, then I guess we don’t have a deal. Get up. And lets get a-rockin and a-rollin’ and what not.
I hate you.
Oh Mack, you sound like my aunt. Do you drink a lot of orange juice too?
Wait… What?
Doesn’t matter. Get your butt up. We’re going on a journey.
So you’ve said.
----------
WAKE UP!
Mack jerked awake. He looked around. He was in the back of some cheap sedan, driving through the desert. His head was still pounding.
He looked to the front seat, where the Uber Man was behind the wheel of the vehicle.
Where are we going, Uber? And what is your real name?
You already asked that… And you should know my name. I’ve been in the business for some time now.
I’ve never given enough of a fuck to learn your name.
Uber jerked his head to stare down Mack through the rearview mirror.
In that case, you can just call me Uber.
Done and done. Again, where the fuck are we going?
We’re going on a-
A journey. A fucking journey. What does that even mean? Can you clarify that for me? Please?
They sit in silence for a moment.
No. I don’t think I will.
Mack punches the seat in front of him.
Fuck!
Please don’t strike the automobile furniture. Unless you plan on paying for replacements.
I’m in hell.
You’re in Arizona. So... Close?
---------
Mack and the Uber Man stand at the beginning of a long hallway. The walls of this hallway are plain white, with a number of black doors lining both sides. Almost like a fancy storage unit. The hallway seems to go on forever.
How did we get here?
In cinema they call it a jump cut.
We’re still in Arizona though, right?
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe we’re somewhere else entirely.
I… I really just want to know where we are.
There are lessons to be learned, Mackafee. And those lessons are more important than your stupid questions.
Is asking where we are a stupid question?
Yes. Who cares where we are?
I do. I need to know. So I can put together an escape strategy in case things get weird.
Why would things get weird?
I don’t know. Things are already weird. Why wouldn’t they get weirder?
Nothing is weird, Mack-N-Cheese. You’re just fighting your destiny. Stop fighting it. Give into it. Let it inside you.
Mack takes a deep breath.
Whatever. Let’s just do this.
Have you ever actually thought about your destiny, Mackdoodle? Have you ever thought about what may have come if you took a different path?
No.
I have. The universe has. Walk with me.
Uber Man starts walking down the hallway. He stops when he realizes Mack isn’t following him. He gives Mack a small wave of the hand, and Mack reluctantly starts walking with him.
Okay… We’re walking…
There are an infinite amount of choices you’ve made over the years. Choices that could have sent you on a number of very different paths. All these exist on different timelines that make up the vast expansive multiverse.
…what…
All these doors are windows for us to peak into those alternate universes. Mackiverses, if you will. The MCU. Mack Connor Universe.
O.
Yes, it’s a lot to take in.
No, I mean there’s an O in there. My name is O’Connor. So it doesn’t work.
Uber stops walking and turns to him, complete confusion and disbelief in his eyes.
Wait… Your name isn’t Mack Connor?
No. It’s Mack O’Connor. With an O.
Oh.
Yes, exactly.
They stand in silence for a moment as Uber takes in this new information.
Well… It works better if its Connor. So its Connor, okay?
No.
Uber ignores his protest.
As I was saying…
And if these doors are like windows, why aren’t they just windows?
Doors are easier to open and close. Can you be quiet? I’m trying to monologue.
You should know how I feel about those.
Speaking of… Let’s take this door here. Imagine if Mack Connor made a few different choices, and next think you know he’d go by Macky C, the Ripper.
The what now?
Uber opens the door, and they both look in.
They see a different version of Mack, with long flowing brown hair. The room is dark, and there’s a single window behind him. The window is open, and there’s rain pouring down outside.
This is a dramatic monologue. I’m monologuing so hard right now. No one monologues like me. Who needs a conversation when I can just…
Macky C takes a deep breath.
Monologue.
…the fuck…
What he actually is saying is meaningless, so I’ve enabled a device that translates it to what the readers will understand.
I’m ending my monologue now. Goodbye.
Macky C jumps out the window. Uber and Mack stare into the room blankly for a moment.
Anyway.
Uber shuts the door. They continue walking.
I would never speak like that.
The current you wouldn’t, Mackaroon, but other variants of you just might. There are countless versions of you out there who would do all sorts of things that you wouldn’t do now. For example…
Uber stops and opens another door. He and Mack look in…
In this reality, Mack is wearing swim trunks and a slim tank top. He has flowing brown hair again, and he’s walking along the beach. His mouth doesn’t move, but we hear his voice.
What is this life I live… My parents have tried to hold me back. They've never supported me… My girlfriend, Luca Femery, is the only thing that is positive in my life. She’s been suffering lately, depressed from a loss to our arch nemesis the Lyft Woman…
Uber leans into Mack.
That’s a chick variant of me.
I get it.
I can’t seem to help her. I want to, but I’m just so sad and lonely. Maybe I can talk to her brother about it… Her gay brother.
Wait a second… What the fuck is this?
This is your variant. Mosie Carnes.
Nope. Nope. Fuck this.
It’s tough being the Blue VIP.
Mack slams the door shut.
That was un-fucking-acceptable.
This is reality, Mack-o-potamia. The MCU is real.
Christ…
No, I can confidently say you’re never him in any universe… Although turning water into beer could be useful for you... Let’s continue…
They walk to another door.
What if Mack liked picnics…
Wait…
Uber opens the door.
Inside this door, they see a warm room that looks to be in a cabin. There’s a blanket on the ground. On that blanket sit MJ O’Donald and Alice Knight. Mack once again has hair, this time done up in a Gen Z “Zoomer Perm” as Google AI describes it. Alice looks exactly like Alice Knight always looks.
I can’t turn on the OCW fans. King and Queen. One bussin’ and one Ohio? I think that will just hit different. I mean… You’re fit. Those tattoos are bussin, on god. But I just can’t see it being based. Maybe we should just be friends?
Anything can work if you want it to, for real for real.
You really got me rizzed up. Bet. But how do I know you don’t have anything up your sleeve?
MJ slowly slides off his flannel shirt.
As you can see, I have nothing up my sleeves. No sleeves. No cap.
Alice reaches out to touch his rock hard abs.
Skibidi.
I’ve had enough.
Mack pushes the door shut.
Does that anger you?
Yes, it angers me.
The scene or the fact he has hair?
Fuck you.
Uber: Let’s move on, shall we?
I’m getting sick of this shit.
This is important for your character development. How can you figure out where you’re going if you don’t know where you came from?
I didn’t come from any of that shit. That’s all fake.
It’s not fake. It’s what could have been. Lets proceed.
Mack holds back his rage as Uber leads them to another door.
Go ahead, open it…
Mack takes a breath, grabs the handle, and opens it up.
Here, we see the variant known as The O’Connorable One. TOO for short. He’s in a hotel room in Rhode Island, sitting in a chair facing out a window. He’s looking through binoculars across the street, holding them with one hand. The other hand is holding his… Well… His little buddy down there. And let’s just say he’s abusing his little buddy rather aggressively.
Wait…
Oh yes… That’s the spot… You like that...
Um...I didn’t expect this.
Mmhmm…
Mack slammed the door shut without another word.
You’re fuckin’ sick, man.
Okay, that’s my bad. I honestly didn’t know that was coming.
Mack stares at him, Uber slowly giggles.
Eh? You get it.
Yes.
Moving on…
Fucking more?
Yep. There’s one where you give me Jager and weed and I die, only to be reborn as the Ubertaker.
That was Bob Grenier.
In some universes, that was Bob Connor. There’s another one where you’re actually two different people that form a tag team. There’s even one where you are in a relationship with Perzag.
A relationship?
Oh yeah, Gay Mack definitely exists out there. So does Gay Perzag. We call him Per---.
Welp, I’m sure that will get complaints.
It’s just a joke, and its not in bad faith. It’s just a joke. Because it rhymes See, when we joke…
Spare me. You’ll probably need to talk to Deangelo Vickers. Is he still around?
No.
Well. Okay.
There’s also one where Valerie kills you instead you killing her.
Stop… What?
Yeah, the roles are flipped. Same scene, but she mercy kills you instead of the opposite. There’s also one where you never got into crime and the two of you live happily together.
Mack takes a deep breath, contemplating.
Can I see that one?
Are you sure? You seemed pretty upset after the last one.
Seeing me in domestic bliss is different than seeing me tugging it to my own daughter.
Uber looks appalled. He points back to the previous door.
Is that what was going on there? I thought you were watching someone having intercourse across the street.
I was. It was my daughter and one of my enemies.
You pleasured yourself to your daughter and your enemy having intercourse?
No, I didn’t. But that guy did. He was going through some tough shit, and he was having a dream. I’m not going to justify it. In fact, it was actually The Incredi-… It doesn’t fucking matter! I didn’t do that!
TOO did.
I’m not TOO!
Well, you are and you aren’t. That’s how the Mackiverse works.
Just show me Valerie. Please.
Uber nods.
Right this way…
Mack follows him down the hallway. Uber steps aside and gestures towards a door.
This is the one.
Mack takes another deep breath. He opens the door.
Inside this door, we see a breakfast table in a typical suburban household. At the table is a baby in a high chair, and a young boy in a regular chair eating cereal.
Wow.
After a moment, Valerie walks by. Valerie being Mack’s dead girlfriend in the current timeline. Some years ago, he was forced to mercy kill her to prevent her from suffering a torturous death by the hands of a crime lord he worked with. It’s a long story.
Valerie walked to the high chair and started spoon feeding the baby some flavor of Gerber. Another moment passed before this version of Mack O’Connor walks in. He’s wearing a nice suit, tie and all. And wouldn’t you know it, he has a full head of thick hair that is slicked back with some gel. Domestic Mack gives Valerie a quick kiss on the cheek before pouring himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen.
This actually happened?
Not here. But there’s an alternate timeline out there where it did.
Mack swallows hard, as small tears begin to form in his eyes. Uber looks over and notices.
It’s the hair, isn’t it?
Mack glares at him for a moment before looking back at the domestic scene.
All of these universes were created by you simply making a few different choices. Small choices that would change everything forever. Even the smallest choice can create a butterfly effect that changes everything. A few small choices and this would be you. Living with Valerie. With your son Greg and daughter Jade.
Mack raises an eyebrow, glancing at Uber again.
I named my son and daughter… Greg and Jade?
The names must have meant something to you.
Mack blinks his eyes in disbelief as he stares back at the scene.
That’s a way to put it.
Domestic Mack walks back up to Valerie and the kids.
I’m late for work. Guys at the office are definitely going to give me a hard time for being late.
No worries. I love you.
I love you too.
Domestic Mack gives her a quick kiss, then gives baby Jade a kiss, then pats young Greg on the head before grabbing a brief case and leaving the room.
Mack takes one more look at Valerie before rubbing his eyes and shutting the door.
Okay, that’s enough.
Mack stands silently with his eyes closed for a few moments.
Do you understand what this has been about now?
I don’t know, man. I still don’t know what the fuck is going on.
Your choices, however small, affect everything. They sway your life back and forth and the results can be chaotic. You needed to see the alternative realities to understand this.
What choices could I have made to get this? So that she would still be alive?
That’s not for me to determine. I am here simply to show you what could have been.
I understand… I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you of all people would be someone capable of deeper thinking.
You’d be surprised at how closely you and I are linked. Just ask Zybala. He’ll tell everyone.
Uber shoots the readers a wink.
There’s another door I wanted to show you. Just like this one, but its Josie Barnes instead of Valerie.
Oh fuck off, you motherfu---
----------
He blinked his eyes. Once, twice, three times. The desert sunlight was way too bright, and Mack O’Connor covered his eyes with one of his hands.
…what the fuck…
Laying on his back, he rolled over to his stomach. His head was pounding, and he almost felt like he was going to throw up. Sweat began dripping off his forehead, his very expansive forehead.
This seemed familiar. What was happening? What the fuck was going on?
Hey, fuck bag. Get up.
Mack turned his neck to look up. There stood Chad Vargas, smoking a Marlboro.
Vargas?
Yes sir. Cassidy sent me to pick you up. He tried getting an Uber, but it was too hard to find one that would come out this far.
Where are we?
Vargas tilted his head, pointing at the federal prison that Mack was a guest of recently.
Vargas: You just got out of prison, hoss.
Dude… What the fuck is happening…
Vargas leans down and helps Mack to his feet.
One of the guards knocked you upside your head pretty hard. Can't blame you for forgetting.
Why am I out? Am I going to Survivor?
Survivor? What the fuck are you talking about?
That’s why I was being released, right? So that I’d go compete in Survivor?
No, that’s stupid. If OCW was having Survivor, they would have definitely let me know. I’m great at Survivor. They know that. They'd definitely call me.
I could have sworn that… Okay, nevermind. Why am I out then?
Still OCW related. I’ll fill you in. There’s a dude in a wheelchair, some sort of liquor, Grenier, and a bunch of others I’ve never heard of.
Why don’t I remember that?
Were you drinking?
I was in prison.
You never know. You want to grab a drink before I drop you off? There’s a pub down the road. It sells Budweiser, but not sure if it has any of that queer shit you drink.
Sure. Let’s go…
Mack follows Vargas to his car. He glances down the road. Off in the distance stand his variants. MJ O’Donald, TOO, Mosie Carnes, Macky C, Domestic Mack, and even one he assumes is Gay Mack.
No one is going to understand this. No one is going to get it.
Get what?
Mack looks back to Vargas.
The references.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Mack glances back at the variants, but they are no longer there.
You have a cell phone on you?
Sure.
I think I need to call my therapist.
That’s what the pub is for.
