Post by zybala on Jul 3, 2024 13:02:44 GMT -5
~ Welcome back to The Yard, my friends! How y'all doing? 2024 treating you alright so far? If so, great! If not, I'm sorry. Good thing you have Dystopia to cheer you up!! It's a beautiful day in The Yard! 85 degrees and plenty of sunshine! The Mariachi Band is tidying up the lawn, Emilio and Eastern European are lighting up the grills. Lucas Thames can be seen sitting ringside, wearing a bright yellow shirt with "SECURITY" embroidered on it in black letters. But who's that? It's international superstar Matt Knox!! Him and Zybala are standing in front of a very finely crafted deck that connects to the backdoor of the house, looking spiffy and increasing property value!
It spans the whole length of the back of the house, stained to look like mahogany and a small staircase that leads to the grass. Hanging from the railing is a sign with VIP written on it with a Sharpie. Zybala hands Knox a check before the two shake hands before Knox departs. What? Did you expect him to stay? He's a busy man with busy man things to do! As he leaves, Dean walks over to Zybala and admires the deck. ~
Dean: The sucka may not want to be booked by us, but he does some damn fine craft work.
Zybala: That he does. We can put more chairs up here, a few free liquor options and charge ten bucks a head!
Dean: “Free?”
Zybala: Loophole around getting a liquor license.
Dean: Ah. How much this set us back, B T Dubs? I mean, with this and the in ground pool you installed over at the side, you're spending a lot of capital.
Zybala: Don't you worry. I got a big royalty from The Barrows. Apparently some people have been binging old GCWA matches and we all got paid! Figured I used the money to spruce up the houses.
Dean: And you trust the fans not to hop into the pool?
~ For a recap for those who forgot and for our new fans, Zybala bought three houses next door to each other and tore down the fences to create The Yard. The ring is behind the middle (Main) house, and the two side houses are mega dressing rooms for the talent. Also, Airbnb properties. Hence why Zybala is always keeping everything prim and proper. The camera pans over the expanse of The Yard. We see the ring, obviously. The Mariachis and Mitch are currently setting up the seats. In the yard section to the left of the ring is a large gated section. We can assume that's where the pool is.
The Malvados then enter The Yard carrying their announce table. They set it up, wrap barbed wire all around it, as if that's gonna stop the wrestlers, but leave The Yard. They reenter a short time later with dogs!! A pit bull and two chihuahuas!! Zybala stops talking with Dean as he notices the dogs. He walks over as Hector is tying the leashes to stakes that he pounds into the grass. As Zybala draws near, Victor stops him. ~
Victor: Careful, Senôr Mike. These are pure killers. Sure to protect the table.
Hector. Sí! ¡Mucho vicious!
Zybala: Then I die happy!!
~ Never one to not pet a puppy, Zybala continues towards the dogs much to the dismay of The Brothers. They try to stop him as he kneels and holds a hand out to the pit bull. The dog sniffs Zybala briefly before wagging its tail. Zybala starts petting its head and the dog jumps on him and starts licking. Zybala baby-talks the dog which makes it more lovey and The Malvados get annoyed. The chihuahuas, however, start to bark at Zybala as they shake violently and piss on the lawn. ~
Victor: Man, how is this gonna protect anything?
Hector: The chihuahuas mucho vicious! Protect table good!
Victor: Nobody is afraid of chihuahuas.
Hector: ¡Sì!
Victor: ¡No!
~ The brothers start arguing in their native tongue as Zybala looks up confused from the lovebug of a pit bull. He clears his throat loudly which stops the arguing. The Malvados look down at Zybala. ~
Zybala: Not to sound racist or anything, but I thought Hector spoke the better English of the two of you?
~ The twins stop and stare. They then look at each other before going over to the Mariachis to help set up chairs, leaving the confused Zybala with the dogs. Let us time jump a little in the future. The Yard is set up in all its usual glory! The weather is wonderful and the fans are in the seats! The VIP section is filled and Lucas Thames is standing by the pool, making sure no one enters without permission. The Malvados are at their table, ready to give our Spanish speaking fans the play by play. Zybala and Dean are in their usual spot. Next to them is a big flat screen television on a large stand. That will come into play later. Belvedere and Mitch wait in the ring and the grills are manned by Emilio and The Eastern European. ~
Dean: What is up, suckas!! We all made it back from Taiwan in one piece to The Yard we call home! It's time for another Dystopia!! I'm Dean, he's Zybala and we can now officially call our main belt The Outsiders WORLD Championship!
Zybala: You got that right, partner. Our champ, Peter Vaugh, defended his belt outside of U.S. soil as he beat Vicky Stone in a brutal Noah’s Ark Match to retain.
Dean: He ain't out of the woods yet! Terry Marshall beat a bunch of midgets to become the number one contender and he cashing in TONIGHT!
Zybala: We also got newcomers Alexander Davenport and Clyde Newton squaring off. Newton demanded to replace Vacant in this match and he caught me on a good day.
Dean: Vacant didn't though. He kept calling you to be put back on the card and sucka got his wish, just not the match he wanted.
Zybala: He woke up my baby! So now he faces The Zombie! And lastly, we have Crash Rodriguez taking on Bob Grenier for booking control of a Dystopia!
Dean: If the suckas even show up… But let's take it over to Belvedere and get this shit started!!
~ We cut to the ring and Belvedere is standing there to signal the proverbial green light on this road trip of insanity. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to another Dystopia. The following match is your opening match of the evening and It's scheduled for….. one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Introducing first... He is the most decorated person in wrestling history with countless title reigns in every federation, especially in the dying days of WCW…. He is VACANT!!!
~ If we were in an arena, the lights would dim, but since we're outside, the sun stays shining. A very Goldberg-esq music hits the speakers, but it's not quite the copywritten version everyone knows. It's like Outsiders did to the song what WCW did to many songs for many years. Fireworks start going off and sparklers are lit on the sides of the ramp. A person clad in a green full-body costume emerges from the house and makes their way down the ramp. The fans lose their minds for the legend called Vacant, even if they haven't won a single Outsiders match. Vacant climbs into the ring as the music stops. Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: Coming to the ring next hailing from Miami, Florida…. Standing at 6 foot 2 inches and weighing 220…. This is ZOMBIE MARCUS!!!
~ The song “Zombie” by The Cranberries begins to play, The Malvado Brothers quickly run to the garage. They come back out pushing a hand truck that Zombie Marcus is strapped to. The crowd cheers loudly as The Brothers carefully undo the straps, releasing Marcus. He promptly stumbles away from the hand truck and turns towards The Brothers. Hector merely holds up the remote for the shock collar. Realization sparkles in Marcus’ eyes and he turns to make his way to the ring, zig zagging and playfully trying to take a bite out of some of The Yardies. He stumbles under the bottom rope and right away chases after Belvedere, who jumps out of the ring, scared to death. The Brothers go back to their “guarded” table as the pitbull is sleeping in a shady spot and the chihuahuas are doing whatever chihuahuas do, the little dickheads. Mitch calls for the bell and the match is underway!
Zybala: I have my shotgun, before you have to ask.
Dean: Good. If Vacant gets bit, we may have to put the sucka down to stop a Zombie pandemic.
~ Vacant turns his head towards Dean, since our commentary is played over our speakers. Vacant then starts yelling they didn't sign up for this. Marcus sees this tasty-looking fleshbag all wrapped up in a bright colored bodysuit and the hunger hits. Can you really blame the zombie? He shambles behind Vacant as he argues with Mitch and grabs his opponent by the shoulders. With a loud “GRAWWW”, Marcus lurches his head forward and bites into Vacant's shoulder! Vacant screams out in surprise as he struggles to break free and manages to when a flailing elbow knocks Marcua back. The Zombie stumbles to the mat and falls on his butt. Vacant turns back to complain to Mitch about the biting. Mitch only checks to see if the fabric of the bodysuit was broken as Zybala nervously reaches for his shotgun.
Being distracted again, The Greatest Wrestler of All Time doesn't notice Marcus crawling behind him. Marcus grabs Vacant's ankle and tries biting through the boot! Vacant yelps and starts kicking the Zombie with his free foot and tries to back away as Marcus goes to town on the boot; trying to get at the sweet, succulent flesh underneath. Vacant manages to get a solid kick to the head of The Zombie, staggering him. He gets his foot free of Marcus’ grip. Marcus looks confused and his eyes seem to get more focused, as if the spark of life is returning to him. He shakes his head and looks around as if noticing where he's at for the first time. He sees the ropes, the ref, and then his eyes narrow on a now confused Vacant. ~
Dean: Sucka is in trouble now! Marcus is pulling a Warm Bodies in there!
Zybala: Great movie.
Dean: It was okay.
Zybala: “Okay?” It was a zombie apocalypse Romeo and Juliet! What other movie will you find a zombie trying to comfort his friend by uttering “bitches”?!
Dean: That's like the only good part in the movie, sucka!
Zybala: Man, just call the match!
~ Whether it was the head shot, or being in the ring he loves so much, Marcus Ka'Derrion begins to shine through as he quickly gets to his feet. He leaps at the confused Vacant and starts hitting him with stiff rights and lefts, driving Vacant into the ropes. He grabs the masked person and whips them into the opposite ropes. Vacant hits and bounces off only to be leveled by a spinning leg lariat from Marcus! The fans cheer as both men hit the mat and the back of Marcus' head bounces a little hard. But both quickly get back to their feet. Vacant takes a wild swing of a clothesline which Marcus ducks under and quickly locks in an Abdominal Stretch!!
Mitch starts asking Vacant if he wants to quit as we can notice the focus starts to leave The Zombie's eyes. Marcus stares blankly around and looks down to see Vacant trapped in his grasp! He leans over and bites his opponent's mid-section! It's a hard chop as Vacant cries out in pain. Marcus pulls his head away and a piece of Vacant's bodysuit is stuck in the Zombie's mouth. A hush falls over the crowd as Vacant pushes away from Marcus and we can all see a small trickle of blood start to form around the bite mark, staining the bodysuit. ~
Dean: Away shit son! Marcus broke skin! Is that a d.q.? Purposely spreading germs like that???
~ Zybala doesn't answer. He merely stands up and cocks the shotgun. He marches towards the ring, eyes locked on Vacant. The masked legend hears the weapon and turns towards the sound, seeing Zybala walking towards them. They panic and run from the ring and out of The Yard; Zybala in hot pursuit! Mitch starts administering a ten count as The Malvados rush the ring with a straight jacket and a muzzle. They try to wrestle Marcus into the aforementioned restraints much akin to a hog wrestler. Marcus does NOT like to be restrained. The Yardies cheer as this amuses them and the cheers get louder as Mitch shouts out “TEN!” just as The Brothers wrangle the Zombie, after utilizing the shock collar to drop the Zombie to the mat. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….. ZOMBIE MARCUS!!
~ The fans cheer more,, but it's cut off by a loud shotgun blast. Everyone gets real quiet and starts to murmur amongst themselves. Except the chihuahuas. Those yappy little bastards start going nuts as Hector(?) nods in approval. Mucho vicious indeed. Zybala walks back into The Yard holding the shotgun and everyone looks at him. ~
Zybala: They got away…. Lock your doors tonight folks.
Dean: Sucka, were you trying to actually shoot him?
Zybala: I was trying to prevent an outbreak.
~ The two argue about the moral implications of killing someone before they turn or if they could use Vacant like they use Zombie Marcus while we cut to a commercial or segment. Whatever someone sends me. I may not get anything. Not gonna edit this out though. I know a few of you love the fourth wall breaks. ~
~ We come back from the commercial to see Dean looking at Zybala. ~
Zybala: Yo, don't even give me that look. Mitch was in charge of commercials for this show.
Dean: That wasn't even a commercial, sucka! It's like Mitch just got high and picked a random video from YouTube.
~ Mitch hears this over the speakers and is none too pleased about the comment. ~
Mitch: I don't tell you how to spend your weekends, so don't tell me how to spend mine!
~ Dean is shocked and has no response to the snappy retort. So let's just go over to Belvedere to start the next match. ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall…
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: And the winner gets to run an episode of Outsiders…. Coming to the ring first….. Hailing from Timmins, Ontario, Canada…. Weighing 222 pounds…. He is an OCW Hall of Famer and former World Champion…. He is “The King of Bong Style” BOB GRENIER
~ “Where The Hood At” by DMX hits the speakers and Bob walks out of the house. The fans cheer for the only man who Mitch acknowledges as his pot equal. The Yardies reach out for either high-fives or free marijuana as Bob walks by, the stench of marijuana enticing the smoker in the crowd. Grenier rolls into the ring, and walks past a disgusted Belvedere and over to Mitch. The two start talking shop before Mitch slips Bob some cash and Bob gives Mitch a few pre-rolled blunts. Mitch puts one behind his ear before lighting another one. He offers Bob a puff, which the King of Bong Style accepts. He takes a gentlemanly hit, before passing the blunt back to Mitch. An annoyed Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent… who hopefully has more decorum…. He hails from Kansas City, Missouri...standing 5’11 and weighing in at 207 lbs...he is ‘The Crooked Man’ CRASH RODRIGUEZ!!!
~"No Love" by Death Grips hits! The fans boo immediately but Crash doesn't emerge from the house. A few moments pass and still nothing. Bob loses interest and starts talking to Mitch about pot again and the boos get louder. Belvedere looks uncomfortable about the tardiness. He looks towards Zybala and Dean, who shrug. ~
Zybala: To partially quote the Ninja Turtles movie…. The Crooked Dude’s got thirty seconds.
~ Zybala pulls out his phone and starts a 30 second timer. Some Yardies start a small “CRASH” chant as if to will him into existence. Others tell Zybala to just call him. The VIPs tell Dean one of the whiskey bottles is empty. A lone fan gets tased by Lucas Thames for trying to hop the fence around the pool. Zybala shouts TEN! and the fans countdown. Bob looks surprised that he's about to get such an easy win. NINE! Belvedere picks lint from his suit. EIGHT! The fan who got tased gets dragged across the grass by Thames back to their seat. SEVEN! A fan passes The Spanish Announce Table to get to the grills, and the chihuahuas start barking like mad, much to Hector's delight. SIX!! The pitbull gets up and head bonks the passing fan, looking for lovins. Victor is mucho disappointed. FIVE!! Emilio ignores a phone call from his wife. FOUR!! The Eastern European adds more charcoal to the grill. THREE! Some fans argue that propane is better. TWO!! This sparks a debate between grillers. ONE!! Everyone has forgotten about Crash and now siding up on grilling preferences and switching seats. ZERO!! The bell rings as The Yard has been eliminated divided into Propane and Charcoal grillers.~
Belvedere: Here is your winner by way of No-Showing…. And won the right to run a Dystopia….. The King of Bong Style… BOB GRENIER!!!
~ The fans cheer as Bob celebrates his “win” by ripping off his shirt and running from the ring. He dashes across the lawn towards the pool and hops the gate. Thames is still distracted with the previous fan when a loud splash is heard! He whips his head towards the pool to see water cascading to the ground after Bob's cannonball. Zybala tells Thames that Bob can swim as The King of Bong Style surfaces from the water and hops on a nearby inner tube to relax. ~
Dean: I guess sucka gets to run a show, now.
Zybala: It's not gonna be normal. I remember the Bob Grenier Massacre. Shit got weird.
Dean: We saw a literal Zombie wrestle not that long ago, sucka.
Zybala: Bob will make it weirder.
Dean: You tried to shoot Vacant.
Zybala: Oh, I don't want to hear anything from you, Mr. “Casual Murder.”
Dean: It was a different time!
Zybala: Murder is murder regardless of the era!
~ Zybala and Dean continue to argue as we go to the next commercial. ~
~ We cut back from commercials to see SYNN in the ring. She has the PWA Cup with her and seems to have just cut a very impassioned promo. The fans are cheering her as she tosses the microphone on the mat, and raises the trophy before leaving the ring. The fans give her a standing ovation. ~
Zybala: Powerful words from the winner of our last Brack Friday Bunduru chamber.
Dean: Sucka was spitting fire! She put everyone on notice!
~ The live fans cheer as SYNN disappears into the house. You fans at home wonder why you didn't get to see the speech. Just blame the technical difficulties and don't worry about it anymore. Especially when there are more important things to worry about. Like if Dre and Rob are the same person. Anyways, we go back to the ring and Belvedere is ready to announce the next match. ~
Belvedere: The following match is a Welcome to Outsiders Match and it's scheduled for one fall…
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Introducing first…. from Brooklyn, New York….. weighing 210 pounds…. Representing EPW…. He is CLYDE NEWTON!!
~ " Harder to Breathe " by Letdown hits the sound system as a hyped up Newton steps out from the house. He stands on the deck and hits his signature dance to entertain the crowd before he makes his way across the lawn. He rolls under the ropes and hops to his feet looking around at the fans. Then, from the corner of his eye, he spots the pool. He is feeling the Florida heat and considers ditching the match, but his thoughts are interrupted by Belvedere. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent…..hailing from Seattle, Washington… weighing 220 pounds…. Also representing EPW…. He is "The Emerald City Sybarite".... ALEXANDER DAVENPORT!!!
~ "King of the World" By Porcelain and the Tramps is played after a YouTube ad as the self-professed Mega Heel smugly walks out onto the deck. He looks at the crowd, The Yard, pretty much everything with such disdain. He walks across the grass making snide comments about everything. Belvedere exits the ring as Davenport enters. Mitch checks both wrestlers and Alex starts looking around The Yard, disgust etched on his face. ~
Dean: These two know each other like the back of their hands, sucka. They fought for the EPW World Title on Britlynn's show.
Zybala: You're correct, partner. If my research is correct, Davenport recently beat Newton for the belt, so Clyde is looking for revenge.
~ Davenport has noticed a particularly large batch of crabgrass and is yelling at Zybala for not taking care of his lawn when the bell rings! Clyde, taking advantage of Alex being distracted, runs up behind Davenport and clubs him with a forearm to the back of the head! Alexander stumbles forward into the ropes and Newton goes on the attack, hitting forearm strikes to the small of Davenport's back. Mitch steps in and starts a five count. Clyde backs off at 4.999, not wanting to risk a rare Outsiders d.q. this early in the match. Alex collects himself and turns to face Clyde, who is eager to lock up. Alex is having none of that as he jumps up and hits a picture perfect dropkick sending Newton stumbling backward, but still standing. Davenport darts forward and hits a lightning-fast arm drag, bringing Clyde to the mat!!
Alex holds onto the arm, trapping Clyde in an arm wringer, really pulling on the appendage. Clyde fights through the pain and reaches for the nearby ropes, causing Alex to wait for another near 5 count from Mitch before setting his opponent free. Both men get back to their feet and quickly go to lock up. Alex feints with his attempt though and brings Clyde in close for a scoop slam. Newton is on the mat but starts to rise, only to be met with a boot to the face. Davenport seizes the moment as he jumps up and lands a flawless standing moonsault on Newton!! Davenport hooks the leg and Mitch drops down! ~
Mitch: One……
Two…….
~ Newton kicks out at two, pushing Davenport away and scrambling to his feet. He doesn't seem pleased giving up the early advantage. ~
Dean: A hot start to the match.
Zybala: Alexander seems to be repeating everything he did during their last encounter.
Dean: An encounter he won. If it ain't broke, sucka.
~ Newton does NOT want a repeat of their last match. He launches forward with his arm cocked back for a huge clothesline, and Davenport sees it coming a mile away and ducks. But it's a feint!! Newton quickly hops on the back of the bent over Davenport, causing him to stumble from the unexpected weight. Before Alex can fully fall, Clyde jumps up and hits a double stomp to Davenport's lower back!! Both men are back to the mat because that's how gravity works, but only Alex is on his stomach, holding his lower back in pain. Clyde quickly gets back to his feet, hits the ropes and hits a running elbow drop to Alex's back, furthering the pain! The Yardies cheer their approval of the violence.
The cheers get louder as Newton picks Davenport up and drives him back to the mat with an Arn Anderson style spinebuster!! Davenport doesn't have time to writhe in pain as Clyde quickly rolls him to his stomach and locks him in a Camel Clutch!! The Yardies yell for Alex to tap, not because they like Newton more, but because Alex dared to criticize the lawn. Crabgrass is a beloved weapon of The Yard!
Despite the pressure on his hurt back, Davenport will not yield. As if to spite the crowd, he began to mount a comeback. He starts to strain his arms, and eventually frees them. He pushes up from the canvas and shakes Newton loose. With a surge of adrenaline, Alexander pushes himself to his feet and nails an enzuigiri to Newton who was in the middle of standing up himself! Davenport takes the opening to catch his breath and tries to stretch out his hurting back before he starts laying some stomps to the now downed Clyde. ~
Dean: Oh come on. These suckas are just going through the motions! This is almost an exact copy and paste of their last fight!
Zybala: And Cena vs Orton wasn't? Those two fought like 463 times and each match looked almost exactly the same!
Dean:...... shit, I got nothing.
Zybala: That's what I thought.
~ Alex reaches down and picks up Clyde before throwing him into a corner. Clyde bounces off of the turnbuckles and slumps in the corner as Alex comes charging in. Clyde sidesteps at the last second, but Alex stops himself from hitting the corner. He turns in time to see Clyde swinging a punch in his direction. Davenport catches the arm and drops Clyde with a modified STO into the middle turnbuckle! Clyde falls to the mat and Davenport rolls him into position. Alex then starts to climb the turnbuckles as the crowd gets excited. Alex starts to jump with a Swanton Bomb when the top turnbuckle gives out on him!! He lands badly in a heap on top of Clyde and rolls off of him in pain! The Mariachis quickly run out with tools to see if they can fix the ropes. Zybala looks smugly at Dean. ~
Zybala: Did THAT happen during their last match, smart guy??? Hmmm???
Dean: No, sucka! Because EPW doesn't have a hand-me-down ring from The Accelerator and GCWA…
Zybala: We weren't as successful back then!
Dean: Why don't we buy a new one then?!
Zybala: Cuz this one still works! It just requires a little fixing right now.
~ As The Mariachi Band works on fixing the turnbuckle, Clyde and Davenport roll out of the ring and fall to the grass, trying to recover from the bad spill. Davenport is the first to recover, getting shakily to his feet. He shakes his head before heading towards the recovering Clyde, who sidesteps Alexander. Clyde grabs Davenport's wrist, spinning his arm and trapping Alex in a wrist lock! Alex looks to be in mild discomfort as Mitch starts a lackadaisical ten count. Alex quickly counters to put Newton in a wrist lock of his own. Newton quickly spins under him to relieve the pressure, then grabs Alex and throws him against the ring.
Alex hits hard and stumbles forward. Newton attempts a spinning back elbow, but Alex ducks. He turns to see a lightning quick Newton going for a clothesline. Alex ducks this as well, and continuing his forward momentum, jumps on the ring apron. He then uses it to flip backwards towards Newton, grabbing his head in a reverse D.D.T. position while landing on his feet. Before he can drop, Newton wraps his arms around the waist of Alex and in an impressive show of balance and strength, lifts him up into a Tombstone position! Davenport manages to wriggle out by sliding down Clyde's back and dropkicks him from behind!
Newton staggers into the side of the ring, but quickly recovers and turns to rush at Alex, who is just getting to his feet. He boots Alex in the gut and sets him up for a D.D.T.! Davenport sets his feet and holds firm, negating the once deadly, but now overused maneuver. Alex wraps his arms around the waist of Newton and flips him over with a beautiful Northern Lights Suplex!! The Yardies boo as The Mega Heel holds on with the bridge, and flips himself over to land on his feet, still holding on to Newton. He picks him up and hits another Northern Lights, and repeats the flip and lifts, but pauses. He spots a large patch of crabgrass that he previously complained about. Though his head is under Newton's arm, you can feel the evil smile radiate from Davenport as he lifts Clyde for a THIRD Suplex!! The fans’ boos turn to cheers as the shirtless Newton lands square on the crabgrass!! ~
Dean: These weirdos love that crabgrass, sucka!
Zybala: It's a natural and irritating weapon!
~ Newton writhes on the ground, trying to roll away from the grass that is painfully prickling his skin. Davenport hips to his feet and gloats to the fans, while also checking to see the progress of the turnbuckle repair just in time to see The Mariachis flash Mitch a thumbs up and exit the ring. A loud cheer and applause is heard through the crowd, likely for the quick repair work. The cheers get louder when Davenport turns back to grab Newton, just to get leveled by a Yakuza Kick from Donnie Harris!! Everyone is confused, but happy, by this blindside as Harris runs over to Dean and Zybala, rips the Outsiders Streaming Service title from his waist, and places it in front of Dean. Donnie hits the title, then points towards the ring and Dean nods while Zybala looks confused as all hell. Donnie heads back ringside as Dean addresses the confused masses. ~
Dean: Check it, suckas. Harris is invoking his Champion’s Advantage! This match is now a three way for the Streaming Service strap!!
Zybala: What the what?!?!
~ Donnie charges at both his now opponents and starts stomping away while the fans cheer this new wrinkle. ~
Zybala: Explain! Now!
Dean: Chill! Blame Lurrr. I was drinking with him at my house one night and we got talking ‘bout the phrase Champion’s Advantage. Then he drunkenly suggested that a true advantage would be using the belt like a Money in the Bank or Oh Shit contract.
Zybala: But why though?!
Dean: That's what I said! Lurrr explained that a champ could earn a quick pay day and get an easy title defense. Plus no one would ever see it coming. So I added it to all the contracts when we first started Outsiders.
Zybala: Why didn't I know about this?!?
Dean: I wanted it to be a surprise.
~ A dumbfounded Zybala has no response as Harris drags Davenport to his feet, rolls him in the ring and follows. Alex pushes himself up to his knees, only to be nailed with Ride The Lightning! The shining wizard drops Alex back to the mat and Donnie makes a cover!! ~
Mitch: One……
Two….
THRE….
~ Newton slides in the ring and makes the save at the last second by leg dropping the back of Harris’s head!!! One fan shouts “BROTHER!” and people laugh. Newton picks up Harris, who rallies and hits Newton with a forearm. Clyde counters with one of his own and quickly the two are trading blows! The fans love the action as neither man gets an advantage. Harris gets the advantage with a solid strike to the jaw of Clyde, stunning him. Harris whips Clyde into the corner and follows in with a splash! Clyde stumbles out and swings a desperate right, which Donnie easily ducks. Harris ducks behind Newton, sticks his head between his legs and lifts Newton up on his shoulders. Donnie is about to fall backwards when he spots Davenport ascending the turnbuckles!
With a big leap, Alex flies OVER Clyde with a flip, and with timing that is both equal parts precision and luck, wraps his arms around Clyde. Donnie pushes up on Clyde's feet, assisting in flipping him backwards. Alex manages to get a full, picture perfect rotation and he drops Clyde to the mat with a Canadian Destroyer!!! The fans go nuts as both Alex and Harris look stunned at the accidental double team actually working! ~
Zybala: DOOMSDAY CANADIAN DESTROYER!!!
Dean: Someone better check that sucka, he may be dead!!
~ Harris composes himself and quickly pushes Davenport away and covers Newton, dead-weighting himself with his whole body.. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two…….
~ Davenport recovers his footing and darts over to the pin attempt. Instead of pushing Donnie off, Alex lays next to them and places a hand on Newton's chest. Mitch sees this and restarts the count! ~
Mitch: One………
~ Harris is confused by the restart,but notices Alexander. ~
Two…..
~ Davenport smiles and flips off Harris with his free hand. Harris is unsure what to do! ~
THREE!!!
~ Mitch calls for the bell and goes over to talk to Belvedere while Harris and Davenport get to their feet and glare at each other. They argue over who actually won the match and the fans are clearly behind Harris. Belvedere then goes to converse with Zybala and Dean about Mitch's ruling. After a few moments, Belvedere addresses the fans. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen. Mitch has ruled that BOTH Alexander Davenport and Donnie Harris pinned Clyde Newton at the same time. After talks with Misters Zybala and Dean, it has been decided that the match is a draw.
~ The fans boo while neither men look happy at all. Belvedere raises a hand and the people go silent. ~
Belvedere: Therefore, at the next Dystopia, Harris and Davenport will face each other, one on one, for the Outsiders Streaming Service Championship!!
~ This gets on the crowd’s good side as cheers fill The Yard. Harris seems okay with this and Davenport looks like he's contemplating whether or not he wants to come back here. Zybala then pulls out his phone and reads the screen. He calls over Belvedere and tells him something. ~
Belvedere: And SYNN will be the special guest referee!
~ Even more cheers from the crowd while Davenport looks livid. Harris looks bemused, wondering what his frenemy is plotting. Harris leaves the ring, but also heads poolside. He hops the gate, like Grenier did, strips down to his boxers, and does a picture perfect cannonball, splashing Grenier, who merely laughs as we cut to commercial. ~
~ We cut back to The Yard and the fans are at a fever pitch. They know what's next. They WANT what's next. YOU want it too. Don't deny it. You love my crazy bullshit. You wouldn't be here if you didn't. Especially you. WILL. Outsiders is your second favorite bathroom reading, right after the Amazon reviews of your literary masterpieces. Moving on. The usual suspects are all ready and waiting. Let's get this world title main event underway! Belvedere, the highest paid member of the Outsiders roster, begins. ~
Belvedere: The following is a Reverse Ironman Match for the Outsiders World Championship!!
Stubborn Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: No. Not this time. This match can have all the falls.
Yardies: OOOOONE….
Belvedere: Noooo
Yardies: FALL!!
Belvedere: (sighs) The rules of the match are thus…. The match will start with a 5 minute time limit. 2 minutes are added to the clock for every point scored. The winner is the one with the most points when time expires. You get a point for every pinfall, submission and disqualifications. There will be no count outs because someone can handcuff their opponent outside of the ring to gain a point, thus adding 2 more minutes to the clock, then we enter a repeating loop of count outs and 2 extra minutes.
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere:..... I'm ignoring you…. IIntroducing first, the challenger…. hailing from Huntington, West Virginia…. Weighing in at 311 pounds….. he is “THUNDERING” TERRY MARSHALL!!!
~ AC/DC's “Thunderstruck” blares over the speakers as Terry strides out of the house with purpose, and Mjolnir!! He holds the magical hammer high and Zybala immediately walks over and tells him no. He explains pinning Vaughn with it may lead to another infinite loop if Peter isn't worthy. Marshall tries to argue but Zybala says he doesn't wanna be here all night Marshall relents and tosses the hammer gently to the ground. He then makes his way across the lawn, high fiving fans on his way to the ring and starts flexing for the crowd once inside the squared circle. The Yardies start a drunk “TERRY!” chant. The music stops and Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent …. Hailing from Dallas, Texas….. weighing in at 185lbs….. He is an Outsiders Hall of Famer and your Outsiders World Heavyweight Champion!!! He is THE Wrestling Janitor…… he is... PETEEEEEERRRRR
VAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHNNNNNN!!!
~ The Yardies explode with cheers as "This Time It's Different" by Evans Blue plays over the speaker and Peter Vaughn steps out onto the deck. He just stands there, in his big-fight black coverall garb, with his trusty mop in his hands and Outsiders World Title around his waist. He is taking it all in. TPW may have been his new forever home, but this… Outsiders… Well, we're that super comfy pair of sweatpants that you've had forever. It's stained, holey, and should be thrown out. But dammit, you just can't bring yourself to get rid of them or us. Outsiders is your favorite comfy pants that you can't wait to get home to.
Vaughn raises the mop over his head, as he looks across The Yard and the screaming fans. He eyes the pool and mild shock crosses his face. He has been gone too long, he thinks, as he makes a mental note to hang around after the show to take a swim. Pete then makes his way down across the grass as The Yardies are going nuts for him. He gets to the ring, and as the music stops, The Yardies start a loud and long "WELCOME BACK!!" chant which Vaughn soaks in as he unstraps his title and holds it high. The Yardies get louder. ~
Dean: Listen to that ovation, sucka!! I ain't heard a crowd like this since Scott Syren’s days!!
Zybala: This is a homecoming for Pete, Dean. Though he was at the last three pay-per-views, those shows were at different locations. This is Peter's first time in The Yard since August of 2021.
Dean: Yeah. When he was with that sucka, Barrows, who tried to turn Vaughn against Outsiders, and everyone else.
Zybala: And look how well that worked! Peter is back home and Barrows is nowhere to be seen!
~ Terry doesn't look impressed at the reception Vaughn is getting while Mitch checks the Thundering One. He then goes to check Vaughn before getting the title from the champ. Mitch holds the title high to show what's on the line. He then hands the belt to Belvedere outside of the ring, then calls for the bell! The match is underway! Zybala presses a button on his laptop and the t.v. screen comes to life with a 5:00 display. See? We told you it would come into play. The clock starts counting down. Marshall and Vaughn lock up in the middle of the ring when the sound of a baby crying can be heard.
Everyone turns towards the sound of the noise to see Cathy Zybala walk out of the house holding a crying baby. She storms right up to Mike, who looks annoyed at the interruption but saddened by the cries of his daughter. Cathy hands the baby over to a protesting Mike. ~
Mike: Honey, I'm working!
Cathy: And I need to use the bathroom, badly. You can watch her for 5 minutes.
Mike: Ok, fine. Don't expect her to nap with all the noise though.
Cathy: That's fine. She needs a diaper change too. I got the last one, so it's your turn. By the smell of it, it's a bad one.
~ Cathy walks back into the house as Zybala smells his baby's butt. He makes a face. It's a bad one, alright. He looks at Dean, then at the ring. An idea comes to his head. ~
Zybala: Whoever changes her diaper gets an automatic two points.
~ Neither wrestler moves. Zybala doubles down. ~
Zybala: No time will be added to the clock. That's a two point lead with only…. (Checks the t.v.) four minutes and 45 seconds to go. Plus you can take a bottle from my liquor cabinet…
~ That seals the deal, at least for Peter. He's known Zybala long enough to know that he is a whisky snob and only buys the high proof, good stuff. Peter starts to exit the ring, and Marshall follows. He's not giving up a lead that large. The two race towards the baby and Terry's longer legs give him a slight lead. The two near the announcer area of The Yard and in an act of desperation, Vaughn leaps at Terry and gives him a hard shove! Terry stumbles and falls onto the Spanish Announce Table!!
The dogs scatter as the Malvados stand up, surprised and angered as the table breaks under Terry's large frame! Terry gingerly pushes himself up gingerly out of the wreckage of table and barbed wire. The chihuahuas are yapping at Terry, while the pitbull lumber over and kisses Terry’s face. This enrages The Brothers more. They yell at the dog for not being mucho vicious and they yell at Marshall for breaking another table. Terry argues that he was pushed and to go yell at Vaughn!
This logic is sound as Hector and Victor turn towards where they last saw Peter running, only to see him running in the house, little Jackie in hand. Zybala seems pleased with himself. He has no problem changing diapers, as that should never be solely a woman's job, dad's should do their fair share. However, that smell was rancid. Yes, he's used to the smell, but so is Peter, being a former Janitor. And Peter needs the points, especially since Mitch saw Peter shove Terry through the table. He considered that a weapons attack and has disqualified Vaughn! ~
Zybala: Marshall taking an early lead with that header through the table.
Dean: Real talk, sucka. What's The Malvados table budget? They seem to go through them like your baby goes through diapers.
Zybala: It's all good. I've been “borrowing” tables from every Fed I've been in for years! When I was OCW commissioner, I used to Fudge the paper work by listing the missing table expenses under “Welsh's coconut water budget.” Marcus never batted an eye!!
~ Before Dean could ask another question, Vaughn returns to The Yard. He hands a smiling, happy Jackie back to Zybala, who immediately begins to baby talk to his daughter, which elicits more smiles. Vaughn notices the score on the t.v. and is angered. Dean explains the d.q. and Vaughn turns in frustration to find Marshall, still petting the pitbull. He yells at The Thundering One to get his ass to the ring and starts to head there himself. Terry follows as Vaughn is yelling about his “diaper points.” Dean grabs the laptop from the distracted Zybala and changes the score. ~
~ Vaughn nods his approval before sliding in the ring. Marshall follows by stepping up on the ring apron and over the ropes. Vaughn and Marshall circle around each other and go to lock up. Vaughn ducks under the lockup, grabbing Marshall by the waist, but quickly transitions that into a headlock. Marshall grabs the hands of Vaughn and powers out of the headlock into a top wristlock. Using his smaller frame and greater agility, Vaughn manages to roll forward, spinning on his back, and turning the wrist lock into a hammerlock of his own
Marshall shows that he can do counter stuff too as he spins out of the hammerlock and drops to the mat, taking Vaughn down with a drop toehold. Marshall tries to turn that into a STF, but Vaughn quickly rolls out of the way. He jumps in to snag Marshall into a headlock. Marshall fights to get up to his knees, then spins his body. He slides his head out of the back of Vaughn’s arms countering the headlock into another hammerlock. Vaughn counters with an unnecessary cartwheel and then spins around into another wrist lock on Terry.
Marshall does a forward roll up to his feet, and then muscles his way out of the wristlock. He then grabs Vaughn's arm and whips him across the ring into the turnbuckles. He charges in as Vaughn stops himself with the aid of the top rope and kicks his feet up. Marshall ducks under Vaughn and stops before hitting the corner. Vaughn hops over Marshall and rolls to the middle of the ring stands ready to fight in the middle of the ring as the fans cheer the unexpected chain wrestling. ~
Dean: Oh shit sucka! We're getting the wrestler version of Terry Marshall. Not his watered down “sports entertainment” half assed bullshit!
Zybala: You're not lying, Dean-o. Peter was expecting the guy who slammed Pierre the Giant. The man who relies on muscle poses and the bare bones big guy tactics. He never expected the technical wrestler Terry who went to the limit with Anthony Ishikawa in the Tokyo Dome!
~ Vaughn stands up and smirks as if to say “so that's how it's gonna be.'' He did not expect this methodical side. Peter moves in for a lock-up, and Terry goes to meet him, but Vaughn stops short and plants a boot into the stomach of The Thundering One. Vaughn grabs Marshall in a bulldog position and begins to run him towards the turnbuckles. But Terry hits the brakes at the last second and Vaughn stumbles into the corner. Marshall quickly wraps his arms around Vaughn and snaps off a “thunder” quick German Suplex! Vaughn hits the mat hard and instinctively rolls out of the ring.
Vaughn begins walking around on the outside of the ring rubbing the back of his head as he takes a look at the t.v. screen. A little under 4 minutes remain. Vaughn starts planning on how to out last the clock with his lead intact when he feels someone grab him from behind. He turns to see Terry with one huge hand on his arm. Vaughn is about to kick Terry in the Thunder Sack, but he remembers his earlier d.q., aims the kick lower, going shin to shin. Not the brightest idea as both men cry out and limp around the ring. Wrestling boots don't protect your leg from what is essentially bone to bone contact. Vaughn hobbles away, shaking his leg to alleviate some pain.
After a few seconds, the pain seems to subside and Vaughn turns to look for Terry, and SMACK!! Vaughn gets hit in the face by Terry's meaty arms as Marshall hits Thunder Struck! The champ drops to the grass courtesy of the polish hammer variant, and Terry goes to pick up Vaughn. He struggles a bit with the deadweight of a limp body, but he eventually lifts Vaughn up enough to throw him under the bottom rope. Terry climbs in quickly after and spends precious seconds to push Vaughn towards the center of the ring. He pins the champ, attempting to tie the score!! ~
Mitch: One……
Two…..
THREENOOOOO!!!
~ Vaughn gets his arm up at the last second, but Terry catches the arm and twists it into a Kimura Armbar!! Or the Saskatchewan Armbar if you're a fan of 1004 holds of Jericho. Vaughn immediately taps out and Mitch forces Terry to break the hold and go to a neutral corner. Zybala changes the t.v. display.
Zybala: Brilliant move by Vaughn there.
Dean: Yup. Tapping out did cost him a point, but the sucka prevented further damage to his arm if he struggled to break the hold.
~ Peter slowly stands up, shaking his arm and trying to gather his bearings. Terry rushes in but Vaughn sees him at the last second as he sidesteps. Terry stops and turns around right into a superkick from Vaughn. Marshall staggers but doesn't fall. Vaughn hits him with another superkick and still Terry won't fall! Vaughn points at Zybala in acknowledgement, and lands a third superkick that finally knocks The Thundering One down! Vaughn goes for a cover but decides against it when he sees Marshall still stirring. Vaughn positions himself and waits for Terry to stand up and when he does, Peter jumps on his back and hits him with Revenged!!
The ZigZag takes the big guy back down, but Vaughn isn't done yet. He rolls Terry to the nearest corner before climbing up the turnbuckles. The fans hold their collective breath as Peter balances on the top, waiting to see if the ropes will hold or collapse like earlier. They hold! Vaughn leaps off with a near perfect shooting star and drops a big leg across Marshall! The Plunge hits its mark and Vaughn goes for the cover! Mitch gets in position…~
Mitch: One……..
Two………..
THREE!!!!
~ Marshall kicks out at 3.0000001, but the fall still counts! ~
~ Marshall immediately gets up and is hunched over as he starts convulsing and shaking. Peter clubs a forearm across Terry's back, who stands straight up, breathing heavily as he stares at Vaughn. Peter looks concerned but says “Oh, fuck that noise” and kicks Terry right in the Thunder Clouds!! The Thunder-maniacs in the crowd boo at the low blow and Mitch is about to call for another d.q. against Peter, but stops when he sees Terry is completely unphased!! In fact, he looks angrier than ever as he points at Vaughn and shouts “YOU!” Vaughn, looking a bit scared. tries to high-tail it, but Marshall catches him and lifts him up for a gorilla press. The Thundering One then throws Vaughn over the top rope to the lawn and then exits the ring himself.
He grabs Vaughn by the back of the neck and starts dragging him across The Yard. Terry drags a struggling Vaughn all the way to Zybala and Dean before Marshall hoists Vaughn up to look at Zybala holding baby Jackie. He demands that Vaughn apologize to the baby for swearing. Vaughn is confused but Terry violently shakes him by the neck, yelling for him to apologize, which ironically causes more distress to the baby than the swearing. Jackie starts to cry and this angers both men. Terry thinks the cuss word has upset the baby's sensitive ears. Peter yells that Terry's loud mouth made “his god-daughter” cry. Before Zybala can tell either men that his wife and him swear like sailors at home, or tell Vaughn that he never said Pete was the Godfather, the two men start trading fists. Zybala angrily yells at them not to fight near the baby.
Vaughn and Marshall stop fighting and apologize for risking harm to the baby before moving over to the other announce table to resume fighting. The Malvados, who have gotten a spare table at this point, start yelling about not fighting near THEIR “baby.” Marshall and Vaughn don't care about the table. They are mindful of the dogs though. The clock ticks by as the two trade punches before Vaughn gets the advantage with a rake to the eyes. He then grabs Terry and with all of his strength, lifts the over 300 pounder for a bodyslam through the Spanish Announce Table! Hector pulls the table out of the way at the last second and Terry hits the grass hard. Zybala is trying to soothe his crying baby as Dean tries talking over her.~
Dean: The Malvado sucka being super protective of that replacement table!!
Zybala: Well, people keep breaking them…
shhhh honey, it's ok. The loud man is gone…. more than you had Casual murders in 2000!
Dean: You mean the golden age on OCW!? Wasn't Syren just the best?!
~ Both men grab at their backs as Terry rolls on the grass, his back hurting from the impact, and Vaughn's from lifting someone over a hundred pounds heavier than himself. Peter gives Terry a few hard stomps and a standing leg drop for good measure before trying to lift up the big guy. Vaughn plans on picking up Marshall to try and bring him back to the ring, exclaiming “Come on, you big bastard!” before giving up. As if suddenly remembering that he has the lead, Vaughn returns to the ring to catch a breather and let time tick off of the clock.
The Thunder-Maniacs start cheering for Terry as he tries to rally and get to his feet, while the Vaughninites He looks at the ring and starts heading back towards it when the crying of the baby distracts him. He walks to Zybala just as Cathy exits the house. He swipes the baby from Zybala's arms and starts making faces at her while cooing “Brother” at the baby. This, against all logic, actually works. Jackie smiles and giggles. A little spit up comes out, but Terry doesn't mind. He hands the happy baby to Cathy and heads towards the ring. Cathy looks at Mike. ~
Cathy: Give that man a point
Zybala: It doesn't work that way, honey.
Cathy:I don't care. Point him, now.
~ Zybala grumbles and types on the laptop. ~
~ Cathy nods with satisfaction before walking back into the house. Peter leaves the ring, walking past Terry and right up to Zybala. He starts arguing about the fairness of the unearned point. Zybala points out that not only did Vaughn get two points for changing the poopie diaper, but that he doesn't have to deal with Cathy after the show. Not happy, but getting where Zybala is coming from, Vaughn begrudgingly goes back to the ring, where Marshall is waiting for him.
]As soon as Vaughn steps between the ropes, Marshall steps forward, ready to continue his upward momentum. Vaughn takes a step back, leaning between the ropes. Mitch steps in, telling Marshall to step back, to which he does. When Peter steps back in, Terry rushes forward and yanks him down for an inside cradle! Before Mitch can start a count, Vaughn reverses the momentum so that he's the one making the pin. Marshall makes a reversal of his own, to which Vaughn counters again. The two start rolling around the ring as one big human ball, trying to get the upper hand. Neither can get it and eventually break apart. They stand up and go at each other as The Yardies enjoy the action! Belvedere calls out over the speakers “TWO MINUTES REMAINING!” as the two trade blows. ~
Zybala: Time is starting to run out and we're all tied up at three a piece!
Dean: These suckas better kick it up a notch. We got no plans for a tie.
Zybala: We go into Sudden Death.
Dean: Shut, sucka. That's so cliché.
Zybala: You got a better idea?
Dean: I'll think of something.
~ Marshall gets the upper hand as he swings heavy shots into Vaughn's ribs that drive the wrestler back. Vaughn gets pushed back into a corner and tries to duck between the ropes again, but Marshall drags him back in the ring, before locking on and giving him a high-angle tiger suplex!! Vaughn rolls to his stomach, hurting, even as Terry comes after him on the mat, punching away at him. His desperation and anger is getting the best of him, remembering everything Vaughn has done to him in TPW. The referee has to pull Marshall off, threatening him with a disqualification if he doesn't regain control.
Marshall takes a few seconds, breathing heavily, before nodding to the referee and going calmly back to Vaughn. He pulls his opponent to his feet and shoots him into the ropes, catching Vaughn on the way back to lift him up for a devastating spinebuster! Vaughn quickly grabs Marshall's head and counters with a modified Tornado D.D.T.!
Both men are on the mat, catching their breath as time ticks by. They both shakily get to their feet as Vaughn jumps up and nailing a knee strike to Marshall's head that causes the big man to drop to a knee. Vaughn runs to the ropes, bouncing off the middle rope and twisting in the air to leap at Marshall with a flying forearm!! The move connects squarely with Terry's jaw, sending The Thundering One back to the mat!! Terry tries to get back up, running on sheer determination and the need to finally get revenge on Vaughn for ousting him from TPW.
Marshall manages to stand up, clasps his hands together and swings a Thunder Struck at Vaughn who ducks under it and jumps up and goes for a Revenged!! Marshall tries to fight it and lean forward, but Vaughn is persistent. He keeps pulling back, goes back to his feet and jumps up once more for another attempt! Marshall tries to stand firm but Vaughn pulls back with all his weight, and though it's slower than Vaughn would have liked, Marshall gets Revenged! Vaughn didn't get all of it, but Terry is down and Vaughn goes for the cover. At the last second, with the last bit of his energy, Terry reaches up and rolls Peter up in a tight inside cradle! ~
Mitch: One……
Two………
THREE!!!!
Dean: Holy Shit, sucka!! Marshall got that in at the wire!!
Zybala: And another two minutes gets added to the clock!
Dean: The Janitor don't look pleased though.
Zybala: Uh-oh. I've seen that look from when he was teaming with Barrows.
~ Marshall releases the cradle and Vaughn pushes away. He is fuming! He gets to his feet and squarely kicks Marshall right in the head!! Marshall falls back to the mat and Vaughn storms from the ring and runs into the house. He is gone for a few moments before re-emerging with a pair of fuzzy handcuffs! Zybala starts to yell about not going in his bedroom but Vaughn ignores him and runs back into the ring. He does spare a glance at the clock and sees only 1:20 remaining. He slides in the ring and tries to handcuff Terry's hands together and eventually succeeds! Unfortunately, they're cuffed together in front, which means Terry can still use Thunder Struck! He starts swinging the Polish Hammer around to keep Vaughn at bay. Vaughn attempts another Superkick to get an upper hand, but his foot gets tangled up in Marshall's hands!
Terry attempts an ankle lock, dragging Vaughn to the mat, but seeing the clock and the score and releases the hold before Vaughn can tap to add more time. As soon as he drops the foot, Vaughn starts slamming his palm on the mat in desperation! Mitch doesn't call for the bell and Vaughn immediately hops to his feet and yells that he tapped. Mitch tells him that there was no contact at the time of the tap, so it doesn't count. Vaughn shoots a glance at the clock. 50 seconds left! He panics and looks for Marshall and spots him sitting in the back row of the fans, waving his handcuffed hands. ~
Dean: How did that big sucka get there so fast??
Zybala: Dude, it's only like 30 feet from the ring.
Dean: Ninja, I'm trying to build the suspense!
Zybala: And I'm proud of you for trying.
~ Vaughn in his panic, turns around and smacks Mitch in the face!! Everyone is stunned, especially Mitch. Vaughn shouts to disqualify him and Mitch raises his hand. Vaughn breathes a sigh of relief, but then he's shocked as Mitch slaps him back. Mitch says he ain't t no WEAK ASS ref and next time Vaughn slaps him, they gonna throw hands. Vaughn just leaves the ring and rushes towards Terry, who hops out of his seat and takes off. Terry runs around the ring as Vaughn gives chase! Being lighter, Vaughn starts to catch up, but Terry turns his head at the right moment to see Vaughn is super close. 39 seconds left!!
Marshall pivots and slides into the ring as Vaughn stumbles past where Marshall was. He regains his footing and slides in the ring and runs at Marshall, who lifts a big boot at the last second! It hits Peter in the shoulder, but Vaughn's momentum knocks Marshall off balance and the two men fall to the mat! Terry tries to roll around and get some distance, but handcuffed hands make that somewhat hard. Marshall gets to his belly and starts to army crawl away, trying to get to the ropes and get some distance. 32 seconds!!!
Vaughn sits up and sees Marshall trying to get away. Crawling on hands and knees, Vaughn quickly gets to Terry and grabs his legs! Vaughn stands and drags a fighting and kicking Marshall to the center of the ring. Peter jumps on Marshall's back and the struggling stops as Marshall cries out in pain. Vaughn then grabs Terry’s legs again and pulls them back for a deep Boston Crab. We're talking like earlier 90s Lion Tamer deep. Marshall is bent almost in a half circle as Vaughn digs a knee into Marshall's lower back for extra damage! Mitch starts asking Marshall if he wants to quit. 20 seconds left! ~
Zybala: Vaughn is gonna tie it up! There is too much time on the clock!
Dean: The Thunder Sucka don't look like he's gonna quit. He's yelling no so loud I think the neighbors might call the cops about a possible rape!
Zybala: Are you blind? That Crab is sunk in so deep, Pete just might break Terry's spine in half!
Dean:.... Bet on it?
Zybala: Fifty says you're wrong!
Dean: You're on, sucka!
~ Vaughn is screaming at Marshall to tap! Marshall is telling Mitch no! The fans are cheering for their favorite! They're divided down the middle! Half chant TAP while the Thunder-Maniacs encourage Marshall to hold out! Belvedere announces that there are TEN seconds remaining!! The fans count down the clock! Vaughn panics and pulls his knee back just to drive it hard back into Marshall's spine!
The Thundering One cries out in pain, but doesn't crack!
Vaughn is screaming for Marshall to tap!
A fan shouts that he can't tap.
Vaughn suddenly releases this, and yells for Marshall to say he quits.
Marshall tells Vaughn to go to hell!
Vaughn screams in frustration as he digs his knee in deeper! Marshall screams once and looks like he is about to pass out!
Marshall's head slumps to the mat!
Mitch checks on Marshall and tries to raise his hand but realizes he can't!
Mitch is unsure what to do. Vaughn screams as Mitch stands up and raises a hand…
The buzzer sounds and the crowd cheers. Mitch tells Vaughn that Marshall didn't tap and practically has to drag him off of Marshall. Vaughn leaves the ring, more mad than anyone has ever seen him. Zybala goes and hands Belvedere the handcuff key. Belvedere then walks the title and key to the ring and hands both to Mitch. As the ref tends to Marshall, Belvedere makes his announcement. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…. And NEW Outsiders World Champion…… “THUNDERING” TERRY MARSHALL!!!
~ The Thunder-Maniacs lose their minds as Terry, finally free of the cuffs, groggily gets to his feet and is handed the belt. He holds it high up as his fans cheer and the Vaughnenites boos. Zybala grumpily hands fifty dollars over to Dean. ~
Dean: See?!? I told you, sucka! Thunder Sucka had the guts to hold out and because of that, he's our new World Champ!!
Zybala: When you're right, you're right. I thought Pete had that Boston Crab locked in deep enough. Though neither men should be disappointed with the effort they put in.
Dean: Shit naw. Marshall earned that win, and Vaughn made him fight for it. Both suckas should be proud.
Zybala: Damn straight, partner. Well folks, he's Dean, I'm Mike Zybala, wishing you good fight, good.. wait a second!
Dean: Oh shit, Sucka!
~ Peter Vaughn is back in the ring holding his trusty mop! The fans are telling Marshall to turn around but Vaughn breaks the mop over the back of Terry's head!! Marshall staggers forward as Vaughn quickly grabs him and nails him with another Revenged!! Marshall is down on the mat as a small puddle of blood starts to pool around his head. Vaughn leans over, grabs the title and yells at Marshall not to get used to holding it before throwing it in Terry's face. Vaughn leaves the ring, ignoring the boos that follow him. Mitch starts checking on Marshall when “Zombies” hit the speakers!! The Yardies pop hard as Zombie Marcus shambles out of the garage holding the Loose Change in the Pocket piggy bank!! The fans cheer as Marcus moves a little too quickly towards the ring. ~
Dean: Welp, this sucks for Marshall. After winning the World Title, he gets attacked and now he gon’ most likely lose the belt.
Zybala: That's the danger of the Piggy Bank. Marcus could cash in at any time.
Dean: Speaking of…. Does his skin look less… ashy to you? Like he's getting some color back?
Zybala:.... I think you're right! And he seems a bit quicker too.
~ Marcus reaches ringside and hands the piggy bank to Belvedere, groaning while smacking it then pointing to a bleeding Marshall. Mitch is trying to help Terry, but he can't interfere with the cash-in. Marcus slides into the ring and waits in a corner.
Belvedere: Zombie Marcus is cashing in his Loose Change in the Pocket Piggy Bank!!
~ Again, The Yardies cheer, because who doesn't love a good cash-in? Mitch backs away from a still laid out Marshall and calls for the bell! Zombie Marcus rushes up to Terry and using Zombie strength, pulls the big man up. The title slides off of Terry as Marcus then sticks his head between his legs. With a loud “GRAAAWR!’ Marcus lifts Marshall up for a Crucifix Powerbomb!! He holds the new champ up for a second before bringing him crashing to the mat with His Legacy!!! Marcus ignores going for his old finisher, The Punisher clover leaf, and covers Marshall!! ~
Mitch: One…….
Two…….
THREE!!!
~ Mitch calls for the bell and picks up the belt before handing it to Zombie Marcus, keeping out of grabbing range. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…… and NEW Outsiders World Champion…… ZOMBIE MARCUS!!
~ Marcus looks at the title, bewildered, not sure what to make of it. Slowly, his eyes seem to get more focused. A ghost of a smile appears at the corners of his mouth before he raises his new championship high! ~
Zombie Marcus: GRRRRAAAAWWWRRRYYYYEEAAAH!!!
~ Everyone is shocked by the sudden word spoken by The Zombie, especially Marcus. The Malvados exchange hushed words between the pair and Hector pulls out the shock collar remote. ~
Dean: Oh bulllshit!
Zybala: What?
Dean: This Warm Bodies shit again.
Zybala: What do you mean?
Dean: Man, just close the show..
~ Before Zybala can do his usual sign off, Marcus screams in pain before collapsing to the mat. The Malvados then rush to the ring and drag the Zombie out, and carry him and the title out of The Yard as the scene fades to black. ~
It spans the whole length of the back of the house, stained to look like mahogany and a small staircase that leads to the grass. Hanging from the railing is a sign with VIP written on it with a Sharpie. Zybala hands Knox a check before the two shake hands before Knox departs. What? Did you expect him to stay? He's a busy man with busy man things to do! As he leaves, Dean walks over to Zybala and admires the deck. ~
Dean: The sucka may not want to be booked by us, but he does some damn fine craft work.
Zybala: That he does. We can put more chairs up here, a few free liquor options and charge ten bucks a head!
Dean: “Free?”
Zybala: Loophole around getting a liquor license.
Dean: Ah. How much this set us back, B T Dubs? I mean, with this and the in ground pool you installed over at the side, you're spending a lot of capital.
Zybala: Don't you worry. I got a big royalty from The Barrows. Apparently some people have been binging old GCWA matches and we all got paid! Figured I used the money to spruce up the houses.
Dean: And you trust the fans not to hop into the pool?
~ For a recap for those who forgot and for our new fans, Zybala bought three houses next door to each other and tore down the fences to create The Yard. The ring is behind the middle (Main) house, and the two side houses are mega dressing rooms for the talent. Also, Airbnb properties. Hence why Zybala is always keeping everything prim and proper. The camera pans over the expanse of The Yard. We see the ring, obviously. The Mariachis and Mitch are currently setting up the seats. In the yard section to the left of the ring is a large gated section. We can assume that's where the pool is.
The Malvados then enter The Yard carrying their announce table. They set it up, wrap barbed wire all around it, as if that's gonna stop the wrestlers, but leave The Yard. They reenter a short time later with dogs!! A pit bull and two chihuahuas!! Zybala stops talking with Dean as he notices the dogs. He walks over as Hector is tying the leashes to stakes that he pounds into the grass. As Zybala draws near, Victor stops him. ~
Victor: Careful, Senôr Mike. These are pure killers. Sure to protect the table.
Hector. Sí! ¡Mucho vicious!
Zybala: Then I die happy!!
~ Never one to not pet a puppy, Zybala continues towards the dogs much to the dismay of The Brothers. They try to stop him as he kneels and holds a hand out to the pit bull. The dog sniffs Zybala briefly before wagging its tail. Zybala starts petting its head and the dog jumps on him and starts licking. Zybala baby-talks the dog which makes it more lovey and The Malvados get annoyed. The chihuahuas, however, start to bark at Zybala as they shake violently and piss on the lawn. ~
Victor: Man, how is this gonna protect anything?
Hector: The chihuahuas mucho vicious! Protect table good!
Victor: Nobody is afraid of chihuahuas.
Hector: ¡Sì!
Victor: ¡No!
~ The brothers start arguing in their native tongue as Zybala looks up confused from the lovebug of a pit bull. He clears his throat loudly which stops the arguing. The Malvados look down at Zybala. ~
Zybala: Not to sound racist or anything, but I thought Hector spoke the better English of the two of you?
~ The twins stop and stare. They then look at each other before going over to the Mariachis to help set up chairs, leaving the confused Zybala with the dogs. Let us time jump a little in the future. The Yard is set up in all its usual glory! The weather is wonderful and the fans are in the seats! The VIP section is filled and Lucas Thames is standing by the pool, making sure no one enters without permission. The Malvados are at their table, ready to give our Spanish speaking fans the play by play. Zybala and Dean are in their usual spot. Next to them is a big flat screen television on a large stand. That will come into play later. Belvedere and Mitch wait in the ring and the grills are manned by Emilio and The Eastern European. ~
Dean: What is up, suckas!! We all made it back from Taiwan in one piece to The Yard we call home! It's time for another Dystopia!! I'm Dean, he's Zybala and we can now officially call our main belt The Outsiders WORLD Championship!
Zybala: You got that right, partner. Our champ, Peter Vaugh, defended his belt outside of U.S. soil as he beat Vicky Stone in a brutal Noah’s Ark Match to retain.
Dean: He ain't out of the woods yet! Terry Marshall beat a bunch of midgets to become the number one contender and he cashing in TONIGHT!
Zybala: We also got newcomers Alexander Davenport and Clyde Newton squaring off. Newton demanded to replace Vacant in this match and he caught me on a good day.
Dean: Vacant didn't though. He kept calling you to be put back on the card and sucka got his wish, just not the match he wanted.
Zybala: He woke up my baby! So now he faces The Zombie! And lastly, we have Crash Rodriguez taking on Bob Grenier for booking control of a Dystopia!
Dean: If the suckas even show up… But let's take it over to Belvedere and get this shit started!!
~ We cut to the ring and Belvedere is standing there to signal the proverbial green light on this road trip of insanity. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to another Dystopia. The following match is your opening match of the evening and It's scheduled for….. one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Introducing first... He is the most decorated person in wrestling history with countless title reigns in every federation, especially in the dying days of WCW…. He is VACANT!!!
~ If we were in an arena, the lights would dim, but since we're outside, the sun stays shining. A very Goldberg-esq music hits the speakers, but it's not quite the copywritten version everyone knows. It's like Outsiders did to the song what WCW did to many songs for many years. Fireworks start going off and sparklers are lit on the sides of the ramp. A person clad in a green full-body costume emerges from the house and makes their way down the ramp. The fans lose their minds for the legend called Vacant, even if they haven't won a single Outsiders match. Vacant climbs into the ring as the music stops. Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: Coming to the ring next hailing from Miami, Florida…. Standing at 6 foot 2 inches and weighing 220…. This is ZOMBIE MARCUS!!!
~ The song “Zombie” by The Cranberries begins to play, The Malvado Brothers quickly run to the garage. They come back out pushing a hand truck that Zombie Marcus is strapped to. The crowd cheers loudly as The Brothers carefully undo the straps, releasing Marcus. He promptly stumbles away from the hand truck and turns towards The Brothers. Hector merely holds up the remote for the shock collar. Realization sparkles in Marcus’ eyes and he turns to make his way to the ring, zig zagging and playfully trying to take a bite out of some of The Yardies. He stumbles under the bottom rope and right away chases after Belvedere, who jumps out of the ring, scared to death. The Brothers go back to their “guarded” table as the pitbull is sleeping in a shady spot and the chihuahuas are doing whatever chihuahuas do, the little dickheads. Mitch calls for the bell and the match is underway!
Zybala: I have my shotgun, before you have to ask.
Dean: Good. If Vacant gets bit, we may have to put the sucka down to stop a Zombie pandemic.
~ Vacant turns his head towards Dean, since our commentary is played over our speakers. Vacant then starts yelling they didn't sign up for this. Marcus sees this tasty-looking fleshbag all wrapped up in a bright colored bodysuit and the hunger hits. Can you really blame the zombie? He shambles behind Vacant as he argues with Mitch and grabs his opponent by the shoulders. With a loud “GRAWWW”, Marcus lurches his head forward and bites into Vacant's shoulder! Vacant screams out in surprise as he struggles to break free and manages to when a flailing elbow knocks Marcua back. The Zombie stumbles to the mat and falls on his butt. Vacant turns back to complain to Mitch about the biting. Mitch only checks to see if the fabric of the bodysuit was broken as Zybala nervously reaches for his shotgun.
Being distracted again, The Greatest Wrestler of All Time doesn't notice Marcus crawling behind him. Marcus grabs Vacant's ankle and tries biting through the boot! Vacant yelps and starts kicking the Zombie with his free foot and tries to back away as Marcus goes to town on the boot; trying to get at the sweet, succulent flesh underneath. Vacant manages to get a solid kick to the head of The Zombie, staggering him. He gets his foot free of Marcus’ grip. Marcus looks confused and his eyes seem to get more focused, as if the spark of life is returning to him. He shakes his head and looks around as if noticing where he's at for the first time. He sees the ropes, the ref, and then his eyes narrow on a now confused Vacant. ~
Dean: Sucka is in trouble now! Marcus is pulling a Warm Bodies in there!
Zybala: Great movie.
Dean: It was okay.
Zybala: “Okay?” It was a zombie apocalypse Romeo and Juliet! What other movie will you find a zombie trying to comfort his friend by uttering “bitches”?!
Dean: That's like the only good part in the movie, sucka!
Zybala: Man, just call the match!
~ Whether it was the head shot, or being in the ring he loves so much, Marcus Ka'Derrion begins to shine through as he quickly gets to his feet. He leaps at the confused Vacant and starts hitting him with stiff rights and lefts, driving Vacant into the ropes. He grabs the masked person and whips them into the opposite ropes. Vacant hits and bounces off only to be leveled by a spinning leg lariat from Marcus! The fans cheer as both men hit the mat and the back of Marcus' head bounces a little hard. But both quickly get back to their feet. Vacant takes a wild swing of a clothesline which Marcus ducks under and quickly locks in an Abdominal Stretch!!
Mitch starts asking Vacant if he wants to quit as we can notice the focus starts to leave The Zombie's eyes. Marcus stares blankly around and looks down to see Vacant trapped in his grasp! He leans over and bites his opponent's mid-section! It's a hard chop as Vacant cries out in pain. Marcus pulls his head away and a piece of Vacant's bodysuit is stuck in the Zombie's mouth. A hush falls over the crowd as Vacant pushes away from Marcus and we can all see a small trickle of blood start to form around the bite mark, staining the bodysuit. ~
Dean: Away shit son! Marcus broke skin! Is that a d.q.? Purposely spreading germs like that???
~ Zybala doesn't answer. He merely stands up and cocks the shotgun. He marches towards the ring, eyes locked on Vacant. The masked legend hears the weapon and turns towards the sound, seeing Zybala walking towards them. They panic and run from the ring and out of The Yard; Zybala in hot pursuit! Mitch starts administering a ten count as The Malvados rush the ring with a straight jacket and a muzzle. They try to wrestle Marcus into the aforementioned restraints much akin to a hog wrestler. Marcus does NOT like to be restrained. The Yardies cheer as this amuses them and the cheers get louder as Mitch shouts out “TEN!” just as The Brothers wrangle the Zombie, after utilizing the shock collar to drop the Zombie to the mat. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner….. ZOMBIE MARCUS!!
~ The fans cheer more,, but it's cut off by a loud shotgun blast. Everyone gets real quiet and starts to murmur amongst themselves. Except the chihuahuas. Those yappy little bastards start going nuts as Hector(?) nods in approval. Mucho vicious indeed. Zybala walks back into The Yard holding the shotgun and everyone looks at him. ~
Zybala: They got away…. Lock your doors tonight folks.
Dean: Sucka, were you trying to actually shoot him?
Zybala: I was trying to prevent an outbreak.
~ The two argue about the moral implications of killing someone before they turn or if they could use Vacant like they use Zombie Marcus while we cut to a commercial or segment. Whatever someone sends me. I may not get anything. Not gonna edit this out though. I know a few of you love the fourth wall breaks. ~
~ We come back from the commercial to see Dean looking at Zybala. ~
Zybala: Yo, don't even give me that look. Mitch was in charge of commercials for this show.
Dean: That wasn't even a commercial, sucka! It's like Mitch just got high and picked a random video from YouTube.
~ Mitch hears this over the speakers and is none too pleased about the comment. ~
Mitch: I don't tell you how to spend your weekends, so don't tell me how to spend mine!
~ Dean is shocked and has no response to the snappy retort. So let's just go over to Belvedere to start the next match. ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall…
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: And the winner gets to run an episode of Outsiders…. Coming to the ring first….. Hailing from Timmins, Ontario, Canada…. Weighing 222 pounds…. He is an OCW Hall of Famer and former World Champion…. He is “The King of Bong Style” BOB GRENIER
~ “Where The Hood At” by DMX hits the speakers and Bob walks out of the house. The fans cheer for the only man who Mitch acknowledges as his pot equal. The Yardies reach out for either high-fives or free marijuana as Bob walks by, the stench of marijuana enticing the smoker in the crowd. Grenier rolls into the ring, and walks past a disgusted Belvedere and over to Mitch. The two start talking shop before Mitch slips Bob some cash and Bob gives Mitch a few pre-rolled blunts. Mitch puts one behind his ear before lighting another one. He offers Bob a puff, which the King of Bong Style accepts. He takes a gentlemanly hit, before passing the blunt back to Mitch. An annoyed Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent… who hopefully has more decorum…. He hails from Kansas City, Missouri...standing 5’11 and weighing in at 207 lbs...he is ‘The Crooked Man’ CRASH RODRIGUEZ!!!
~"No Love" by Death Grips hits! The fans boo immediately but Crash doesn't emerge from the house. A few moments pass and still nothing. Bob loses interest and starts talking to Mitch about pot again and the boos get louder. Belvedere looks uncomfortable about the tardiness. He looks towards Zybala and Dean, who shrug. ~
Zybala: To partially quote the Ninja Turtles movie…. The Crooked Dude’s got thirty seconds.
~ Zybala pulls out his phone and starts a 30 second timer. Some Yardies start a small “CRASH” chant as if to will him into existence. Others tell Zybala to just call him. The VIPs tell Dean one of the whiskey bottles is empty. A lone fan gets tased by Lucas Thames for trying to hop the fence around the pool. Zybala shouts TEN! and the fans countdown. Bob looks surprised that he's about to get such an easy win. NINE! Belvedere picks lint from his suit. EIGHT! The fan who got tased gets dragged across the grass by Thames back to their seat. SEVEN! A fan passes The Spanish Announce Table to get to the grills, and the chihuahuas start barking like mad, much to Hector's delight. SIX!! The pitbull gets up and head bonks the passing fan, looking for lovins. Victor is mucho disappointed. FIVE!! Emilio ignores a phone call from his wife. FOUR!! The Eastern European adds more charcoal to the grill. THREE! Some fans argue that propane is better. TWO!! This sparks a debate between grillers. ONE!! Everyone has forgotten about Crash and now siding up on grilling preferences and switching seats. ZERO!! The bell rings as The Yard has been eliminated divided into Propane and Charcoal grillers.~
Belvedere: Here is your winner by way of No-Showing…. And won the right to run a Dystopia….. The King of Bong Style… BOB GRENIER!!!
~ The fans cheer as Bob celebrates his “win” by ripping off his shirt and running from the ring. He dashes across the lawn towards the pool and hops the gate. Thames is still distracted with the previous fan when a loud splash is heard! He whips his head towards the pool to see water cascading to the ground after Bob's cannonball. Zybala tells Thames that Bob can swim as The King of Bong Style surfaces from the water and hops on a nearby inner tube to relax. ~
Dean: I guess sucka gets to run a show, now.
Zybala: It's not gonna be normal. I remember the Bob Grenier Massacre. Shit got weird.
Dean: We saw a literal Zombie wrestle not that long ago, sucka.
Zybala: Bob will make it weirder.
Dean: You tried to shoot Vacant.
Zybala: Oh, I don't want to hear anything from you, Mr. “Casual Murder.”
Dean: It was a different time!
Zybala: Murder is murder regardless of the era!
~ Zybala and Dean continue to argue as we go to the next commercial. ~
~ We cut back from commercials to see SYNN in the ring. She has the PWA Cup with her and seems to have just cut a very impassioned promo. The fans are cheering her as she tosses the microphone on the mat, and raises the trophy before leaving the ring. The fans give her a standing ovation. ~
Zybala: Powerful words from the winner of our last Brack Friday Bunduru chamber.
Dean: Sucka was spitting fire! She put everyone on notice!
~ The live fans cheer as SYNN disappears into the house. You fans at home wonder why you didn't get to see the speech. Just blame the technical difficulties and don't worry about it anymore. Especially when there are more important things to worry about. Like if Dre and Rob are the same person. Anyways, we go back to the ring and Belvedere is ready to announce the next match. ~
Belvedere: The following match is a Welcome to Outsiders Match and it's scheduled for one fall…
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Introducing first…. from Brooklyn, New York….. weighing 210 pounds…. Representing EPW…. He is CLYDE NEWTON!!
~ " Harder to Breathe " by Letdown hits the sound system as a hyped up Newton steps out from the house. He stands on the deck and hits his signature dance to entertain the crowd before he makes his way across the lawn. He rolls under the ropes and hops to his feet looking around at the fans. Then, from the corner of his eye, he spots the pool. He is feeling the Florida heat and considers ditching the match, but his thoughts are interrupted by Belvedere. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent…..hailing from Seattle, Washington… weighing 220 pounds…. Also representing EPW…. He is "The Emerald City Sybarite".... ALEXANDER DAVENPORT!!!
~ "King of the World" By Porcelain and the Tramps is played after a YouTube ad as the self-professed Mega Heel smugly walks out onto the deck. He looks at the crowd, The Yard, pretty much everything with such disdain. He walks across the grass making snide comments about everything. Belvedere exits the ring as Davenport enters. Mitch checks both wrestlers and Alex starts looking around The Yard, disgust etched on his face. ~
Dean: These two know each other like the back of their hands, sucka. They fought for the EPW World Title on Britlynn's show.
Zybala: You're correct, partner. If my research is correct, Davenport recently beat Newton for the belt, so Clyde is looking for revenge.
~ Davenport has noticed a particularly large batch of crabgrass and is yelling at Zybala for not taking care of his lawn when the bell rings! Clyde, taking advantage of Alex being distracted, runs up behind Davenport and clubs him with a forearm to the back of the head! Alexander stumbles forward into the ropes and Newton goes on the attack, hitting forearm strikes to the small of Davenport's back. Mitch steps in and starts a five count. Clyde backs off at 4.999, not wanting to risk a rare Outsiders d.q. this early in the match. Alex collects himself and turns to face Clyde, who is eager to lock up. Alex is having none of that as he jumps up and hits a picture perfect dropkick sending Newton stumbling backward, but still standing. Davenport darts forward and hits a lightning-fast arm drag, bringing Clyde to the mat!!
Alex holds onto the arm, trapping Clyde in an arm wringer, really pulling on the appendage. Clyde fights through the pain and reaches for the nearby ropes, causing Alex to wait for another near 5 count from Mitch before setting his opponent free. Both men get back to their feet and quickly go to lock up. Alex feints with his attempt though and brings Clyde in close for a scoop slam. Newton is on the mat but starts to rise, only to be met with a boot to the face. Davenport seizes the moment as he jumps up and lands a flawless standing moonsault on Newton!! Davenport hooks the leg and Mitch drops down! ~
Mitch: One……
Two…….
~ Newton kicks out at two, pushing Davenport away and scrambling to his feet. He doesn't seem pleased giving up the early advantage. ~
Dean: A hot start to the match.
Zybala: Alexander seems to be repeating everything he did during their last encounter.
Dean: An encounter he won. If it ain't broke, sucka.
~ Newton does NOT want a repeat of their last match. He launches forward with his arm cocked back for a huge clothesline, and Davenport sees it coming a mile away and ducks. But it's a feint!! Newton quickly hops on the back of the bent over Davenport, causing him to stumble from the unexpected weight. Before Alex can fully fall, Clyde jumps up and hits a double stomp to Davenport's lower back!! Both men are back to the mat because that's how gravity works, but only Alex is on his stomach, holding his lower back in pain. Clyde quickly gets back to his feet, hits the ropes and hits a running elbow drop to Alex's back, furthering the pain! The Yardies cheer their approval of the violence.
The cheers get louder as Newton picks Davenport up and drives him back to the mat with an Arn Anderson style spinebuster!! Davenport doesn't have time to writhe in pain as Clyde quickly rolls him to his stomach and locks him in a Camel Clutch!! The Yardies yell for Alex to tap, not because they like Newton more, but because Alex dared to criticize the lawn. Crabgrass is a beloved weapon of The Yard!
Despite the pressure on his hurt back, Davenport will not yield. As if to spite the crowd, he began to mount a comeback. He starts to strain his arms, and eventually frees them. He pushes up from the canvas and shakes Newton loose. With a surge of adrenaline, Alexander pushes himself to his feet and nails an enzuigiri to Newton who was in the middle of standing up himself! Davenport takes the opening to catch his breath and tries to stretch out his hurting back before he starts laying some stomps to the now downed Clyde. ~
Dean: Oh come on. These suckas are just going through the motions! This is almost an exact copy and paste of their last fight!
Zybala: And Cena vs Orton wasn't? Those two fought like 463 times and each match looked almost exactly the same!
Dean:...... shit, I got nothing.
Zybala: That's what I thought.
~ Alex reaches down and picks up Clyde before throwing him into a corner. Clyde bounces off of the turnbuckles and slumps in the corner as Alex comes charging in. Clyde sidesteps at the last second, but Alex stops himself from hitting the corner. He turns in time to see Clyde swinging a punch in his direction. Davenport catches the arm and drops Clyde with a modified STO into the middle turnbuckle! Clyde falls to the mat and Davenport rolls him into position. Alex then starts to climb the turnbuckles as the crowd gets excited. Alex starts to jump with a Swanton Bomb when the top turnbuckle gives out on him!! He lands badly in a heap on top of Clyde and rolls off of him in pain! The Mariachis quickly run out with tools to see if they can fix the ropes. Zybala looks smugly at Dean. ~
Zybala: Did THAT happen during their last match, smart guy??? Hmmm???
Dean: No, sucka! Because EPW doesn't have a hand-me-down ring from The Accelerator and GCWA…
Zybala: We weren't as successful back then!
Dean: Why don't we buy a new one then?!
Zybala: Cuz this one still works! It just requires a little fixing right now.
~ As The Mariachi Band works on fixing the turnbuckle, Clyde and Davenport roll out of the ring and fall to the grass, trying to recover from the bad spill. Davenport is the first to recover, getting shakily to his feet. He shakes his head before heading towards the recovering Clyde, who sidesteps Alexander. Clyde grabs Davenport's wrist, spinning his arm and trapping Alex in a wrist lock! Alex looks to be in mild discomfort as Mitch starts a lackadaisical ten count. Alex quickly counters to put Newton in a wrist lock of his own. Newton quickly spins under him to relieve the pressure, then grabs Alex and throws him against the ring.
Alex hits hard and stumbles forward. Newton attempts a spinning back elbow, but Alex ducks. He turns to see a lightning quick Newton going for a clothesline. Alex ducks this as well, and continuing his forward momentum, jumps on the ring apron. He then uses it to flip backwards towards Newton, grabbing his head in a reverse D.D.T. position while landing on his feet. Before he can drop, Newton wraps his arms around the waist of Alex and in an impressive show of balance and strength, lifts him up into a Tombstone position! Davenport manages to wriggle out by sliding down Clyde's back and dropkicks him from behind!
Newton staggers into the side of the ring, but quickly recovers and turns to rush at Alex, who is just getting to his feet. He boots Alex in the gut and sets him up for a D.D.T.! Davenport sets his feet and holds firm, negating the once deadly, but now overused maneuver. Alex wraps his arms around the waist of Newton and flips him over with a beautiful Northern Lights Suplex!! The Yardies boo as The Mega Heel holds on with the bridge, and flips himself over to land on his feet, still holding on to Newton. He picks him up and hits another Northern Lights, and repeats the flip and lifts, but pauses. He spots a large patch of crabgrass that he previously complained about. Though his head is under Newton's arm, you can feel the evil smile radiate from Davenport as he lifts Clyde for a THIRD Suplex!! The fans’ boos turn to cheers as the shirtless Newton lands square on the crabgrass!! ~
Dean: These weirdos love that crabgrass, sucka!
Zybala: It's a natural and irritating weapon!
~ Newton writhes on the ground, trying to roll away from the grass that is painfully prickling his skin. Davenport hips to his feet and gloats to the fans, while also checking to see the progress of the turnbuckle repair just in time to see The Mariachis flash Mitch a thumbs up and exit the ring. A loud cheer and applause is heard through the crowd, likely for the quick repair work. The cheers get louder when Davenport turns back to grab Newton, just to get leveled by a Yakuza Kick from Donnie Harris!! Everyone is confused, but happy, by this blindside as Harris runs over to Dean and Zybala, rips the Outsiders Streaming Service title from his waist, and places it in front of Dean. Donnie hits the title, then points towards the ring and Dean nods while Zybala looks confused as all hell. Donnie heads back ringside as Dean addresses the confused masses. ~
Dean: Check it, suckas. Harris is invoking his Champion’s Advantage! This match is now a three way for the Streaming Service strap!!
Zybala: What the what?!?!
~ Donnie charges at both his now opponents and starts stomping away while the fans cheer this new wrinkle. ~
Zybala: Explain! Now!
Dean: Chill! Blame Lurrr. I was drinking with him at my house one night and we got talking ‘bout the phrase Champion’s Advantage. Then he drunkenly suggested that a true advantage would be using the belt like a Money in the Bank or Oh Shit contract.
Zybala: But why though?!
Dean: That's what I said! Lurrr explained that a champ could earn a quick pay day and get an easy title defense. Plus no one would ever see it coming. So I added it to all the contracts when we first started Outsiders.
Zybala: Why didn't I know about this?!?
Dean: I wanted it to be a surprise.
~ A dumbfounded Zybala has no response as Harris drags Davenport to his feet, rolls him in the ring and follows. Alex pushes himself up to his knees, only to be nailed with Ride The Lightning! The shining wizard drops Alex back to the mat and Donnie makes a cover!! ~
Mitch: One……
Two….
THRE….
~ Newton slides in the ring and makes the save at the last second by leg dropping the back of Harris’s head!!! One fan shouts “BROTHER!” and people laugh. Newton picks up Harris, who rallies and hits Newton with a forearm. Clyde counters with one of his own and quickly the two are trading blows! The fans love the action as neither man gets an advantage. Harris gets the advantage with a solid strike to the jaw of Clyde, stunning him. Harris whips Clyde into the corner and follows in with a splash! Clyde stumbles out and swings a desperate right, which Donnie easily ducks. Harris ducks behind Newton, sticks his head between his legs and lifts Newton up on his shoulders. Donnie is about to fall backwards when he spots Davenport ascending the turnbuckles!
With a big leap, Alex flies OVER Clyde with a flip, and with timing that is both equal parts precision and luck, wraps his arms around Clyde. Donnie pushes up on Clyde's feet, assisting in flipping him backwards. Alex manages to get a full, picture perfect rotation and he drops Clyde to the mat with a Canadian Destroyer!!! The fans go nuts as both Alex and Harris look stunned at the accidental double team actually working! ~
Zybala: DOOMSDAY CANADIAN DESTROYER!!!
Dean: Someone better check that sucka, he may be dead!!
~ Harris composes himself and quickly pushes Davenport away and covers Newton, dead-weighting himself with his whole body.. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two…….
~ Davenport recovers his footing and darts over to the pin attempt. Instead of pushing Donnie off, Alex lays next to them and places a hand on Newton's chest. Mitch sees this and restarts the count! ~
Mitch: One………
~ Harris is confused by the restart,but notices Alexander. ~
Two…..
~ Davenport smiles and flips off Harris with his free hand. Harris is unsure what to do! ~
THREE!!!
~ Mitch calls for the bell and goes over to talk to Belvedere while Harris and Davenport get to their feet and glare at each other. They argue over who actually won the match and the fans are clearly behind Harris. Belvedere then goes to converse with Zybala and Dean about Mitch's ruling. After a few moments, Belvedere addresses the fans. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and Gentlemen. Mitch has ruled that BOTH Alexander Davenport and Donnie Harris pinned Clyde Newton at the same time. After talks with Misters Zybala and Dean, it has been decided that the match is a draw.
~ The fans boo while neither men look happy at all. Belvedere raises a hand and the people go silent. ~
Belvedere: Therefore, at the next Dystopia, Harris and Davenport will face each other, one on one, for the Outsiders Streaming Service Championship!!
~ This gets on the crowd’s good side as cheers fill The Yard. Harris seems okay with this and Davenport looks like he's contemplating whether or not he wants to come back here. Zybala then pulls out his phone and reads the screen. He calls over Belvedere and tells him something. ~
Belvedere: And SYNN will be the special guest referee!
~ Even more cheers from the crowd while Davenport looks livid. Harris looks bemused, wondering what his frenemy is plotting. Harris leaves the ring, but also heads poolside. He hops the gate, like Grenier did, strips down to his boxers, and does a picture perfect cannonball, splashing Grenier, who merely laughs as we cut to commercial. ~
~ We cut back to The Yard and the fans are at a fever pitch. They know what's next. They WANT what's next. YOU want it too. Don't deny it. You love my crazy bullshit. You wouldn't be here if you didn't. Especially you. WILL. Outsiders is your second favorite bathroom reading, right after the Amazon reviews of your literary masterpieces. Moving on. The usual suspects are all ready and waiting. Let's get this world title main event underway! Belvedere, the highest paid member of the Outsiders roster, begins. ~
Belvedere: The following is a Reverse Ironman Match for the Outsiders World Championship!!
Stubborn Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: No. Not this time. This match can have all the falls.
Yardies: OOOOONE….
Belvedere: Noooo
Yardies: FALL!!
Belvedere: (sighs) The rules of the match are thus…. The match will start with a 5 minute time limit. 2 minutes are added to the clock for every point scored. The winner is the one with the most points when time expires. You get a point for every pinfall, submission and disqualifications. There will be no count outs because someone can handcuff their opponent outside of the ring to gain a point, thus adding 2 more minutes to the clock, then we enter a repeating loop of count outs and 2 extra minutes.
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere:..... I'm ignoring you…. IIntroducing first, the challenger…. hailing from Huntington, West Virginia…. Weighing in at 311 pounds….. he is “THUNDERING” TERRY MARSHALL!!!
~ AC/DC's “Thunderstruck” blares over the speakers as Terry strides out of the house with purpose, and Mjolnir!! He holds the magical hammer high and Zybala immediately walks over and tells him no. He explains pinning Vaughn with it may lead to another infinite loop if Peter isn't worthy. Marshall tries to argue but Zybala says he doesn't wanna be here all night Marshall relents and tosses the hammer gently to the ground. He then makes his way across the lawn, high fiving fans on his way to the ring and starts flexing for the crowd once inside the squared circle. The Yardies start a drunk “TERRY!” chant. The music stops and Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent …. Hailing from Dallas, Texas….. weighing in at 185lbs….. He is an Outsiders Hall of Famer and your Outsiders World Heavyweight Champion!!! He is THE Wrestling Janitor…… he is... PETEEEEEERRRRR
VAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHNNNNNN!!!
~ The Yardies explode with cheers as "This Time It's Different" by Evans Blue plays over the speaker and Peter Vaughn steps out onto the deck. He just stands there, in his big-fight black coverall garb, with his trusty mop in his hands and Outsiders World Title around his waist. He is taking it all in. TPW may have been his new forever home, but this… Outsiders… Well, we're that super comfy pair of sweatpants that you've had forever. It's stained, holey, and should be thrown out. But dammit, you just can't bring yourself to get rid of them or us. Outsiders is your favorite comfy pants that you can't wait to get home to.
Vaughn raises the mop over his head, as he looks across The Yard and the screaming fans. He eyes the pool and mild shock crosses his face. He has been gone too long, he thinks, as he makes a mental note to hang around after the show to take a swim. Pete then makes his way down across the grass as The Yardies are going nuts for him. He gets to the ring, and as the music stops, The Yardies start a loud and long "WELCOME BACK!!" chant which Vaughn soaks in as he unstraps his title and holds it high. The Yardies get louder. ~
Dean: Listen to that ovation, sucka!! I ain't heard a crowd like this since Scott Syren’s days!!
Zybala: This is a homecoming for Pete, Dean. Though he was at the last three pay-per-views, those shows were at different locations. This is Peter's first time in The Yard since August of 2021.
Dean: Yeah. When he was with that sucka, Barrows, who tried to turn Vaughn against Outsiders, and everyone else.
Zybala: And look how well that worked! Peter is back home and Barrows is nowhere to be seen!
~ Terry doesn't look impressed at the reception Vaughn is getting while Mitch checks the Thundering One. He then goes to check Vaughn before getting the title from the champ. Mitch holds the title high to show what's on the line. He then hands the belt to Belvedere outside of the ring, then calls for the bell! The match is underway! Zybala presses a button on his laptop and the t.v. screen comes to life with a 5:00 display. See? We told you it would come into play. The clock starts counting down. Marshall and Vaughn lock up in the middle of the ring when the sound of a baby crying can be heard.
Everyone turns towards the sound of the noise to see Cathy Zybala walk out of the house holding a crying baby. She storms right up to Mike, who looks annoyed at the interruption but saddened by the cries of his daughter. Cathy hands the baby over to a protesting Mike. ~
Mike: Honey, I'm working!
Cathy: And I need to use the bathroom, badly. You can watch her for 5 minutes.
Mike: Ok, fine. Don't expect her to nap with all the noise though.
Cathy: That's fine. She needs a diaper change too. I got the last one, so it's your turn. By the smell of it, it's a bad one.
~ Cathy walks back into the house as Zybala smells his baby's butt. He makes a face. It's a bad one, alright. He looks at Dean, then at the ring. An idea comes to his head. ~
Zybala: Whoever changes her diaper gets an automatic two points.
~ Neither wrestler moves. Zybala doubles down. ~
Zybala: No time will be added to the clock. That's a two point lead with only…. (Checks the t.v.) four minutes and 45 seconds to go. Plus you can take a bottle from my liquor cabinet…
~ That seals the deal, at least for Peter. He's known Zybala long enough to know that he is a whisky snob and only buys the high proof, good stuff. Peter starts to exit the ring, and Marshall follows. He's not giving up a lead that large. The two race towards the baby and Terry's longer legs give him a slight lead. The two near the announcer area of The Yard and in an act of desperation, Vaughn leaps at Terry and gives him a hard shove! Terry stumbles and falls onto the Spanish Announce Table!!
The dogs scatter as the Malvados stand up, surprised and angered as the table breaks under Terry's large frame! Terry gingerly pushes himself up gingerly out of the wreckage of table and barbed wire. The chihuahuas are yapping at Terry, while the pitbull lumber over and kisses Terry’s face. This enrages The Brothers more. They yell at the dog for not being mucho vicious and they yell at Marshall for breaking another table. Terry argues that he was pushed and to go yell at Vaughn!
This logic is sound as Hector and Victor turn towards where they last saw Peter running, only to see him running in the house, little Jackie in hand. Zybala seems pleased with himself. He has no problem changing diapers, as that should never be solely a woman's job, dad's should do their fair share. However, that smell was rancid. Yes, he's used to the smell, but so is Peter, being a former Janitor. And Peter needs the points, especially since Mitch saw Peter shove Terry through the table. He considered that a weapons attack and has disqualified Vaughn! ~
CLOCK
6:37
Marshall - 1 Vaughn - 0
Zybala: Marshall taking an early lead with that header through the table.
Dean: Real talk, sucka. What's The Malvados table budget? They seem to go through them like your baby goes through diapers.
Zybala: It's all good. I've been “borrowing” tables from every Fed I've been in for years! When I was OCW commissioner, I used to Fudge the paper work by listing the missing table expenses under “Welsh's coconut water budget.” Marcus never batted an eye!!
~ Before Dean could ask another question, Vaughn returns to The Yard. He hands a smiling, happy Jackie back to Zybala, who immediately begins to baby talk to his daughter, which elicits more smiles. Vaughn notices the score on the t.v. and is angered. Dean explains the d.q. and Vaughn turns in frustration to find Marshall, still petting the pitbull. He yells at The Thundering One to get his ass to the ring and starts to head there himself. Terry follows as Vaughn is yelling about his “diaper points.” Dean grabs the laptop from the distracted Zybala and changes the score. ~
CLOCK
5:52
Marshall - 1 Vaughn - 2
~ Vaughn nods his approval before sliding in the ring. Marshall follows by stepping up on the ring apron and over the ropes. Vaughn and Marshall circle around each other and go to lock up. Vaughn ducks under the lockup, grabbing Marshall by the waist, but quickly transitions that into a headlock. Marshall grabs the hands of Vaughn and powers out of the headlock into a top wristlock. Using his smaller frame and greater agility, Vaughn manages to roll forward, spinning on his back, and turning the wrist lock into a hammerlock of his own
Marshall shows that he can do counter stuff too as he spins out of the hammerlock and drops to the mat, taking Vaughn down with a drop toehold. Marshall tries to turn that into a STF, but Vaughn quickly rolls out of the way. He jumps in to snag Marshall into a headlock. Marshall fights to get up to his knees, then spins his body. He slides his head out of the back of Vaughn’s arms countering the headlock into another hammerlock. Vaughn counters with an unnecessary cartwheel and then spins around into another wrist lock on Terry.
Marshall does a forward roll up to his feet, and then muscles his way out of the wristlock. He then grabs Vaughn's arm and whips him across the ring into the turnbuckles. He charges in as Vaughn stops himself with the aid of the top rope and kicks his feet up. Marshall ducks under Vaughn and stops before hitting the corner. Vaughn hops over Marshall and rolls to the middle of the ring stands ready to fight in the middle of the ring as the fans cheer the unexpected chain wrestling. ~
Dean: Oh shit sucka! We're getting the wrestler version of Terry Marshall. Not his watered down “sports entertainment” half assed bullshit!
Zybala: You're not lying, Dean-o. Peter was expecting the guy who slammed Pierre the Giant. The man who relies on muscle poses and the bare bones big guy tactics. He never expected the technical wrestler Terry who went to the limit with Anthony Ishikawa in the Tokyo Dome!
~ Vaughn stands up and smirks as if to say “so that's how it's gonna be.'' He did not expect this methodical side. Peter moves in for a lock-up, and Terry goes to meet him, but Vaughn stops short and plants a boot into the stomach of The Thundering One. Vaughn grabs Marshall in a bulldog position and begins to run him towards the turnbuckles. But Terry hits the brakes at the last second and Vaughn stumbles into the corner. Marshall quickly wraps his arms around Vaughn and snaps off a “thunder” quick German Suplex! Vaughn hits the mat hard and instinctively rolls out of the ring.
Vaughn begins walking around on the outside of the ring rubbing the back of his head as he takes a look at the t.v. screen. A little under 4 minutes remain. Vaughn starts planning on how to out last the clock with his lead intact when he feels someone grab him from behind. He turns to see Terry with one huge hand on his arm. Vaughn is about to kick Terry in the Thunder Sack, but he remembers his earlier d.q., aims the kick lower, going shin to shin. Not the brightest idea as both men cry out and limp around the ring. Wrestling boots don't protect your leg from what is essentially bone to bone contact. Vaughn hobbles away, shaking his leg to alleviate some pain.
After a few seconds, the pain seems to subside and Vaughn turns to look for Terry, and SMACK!! Vaughn gets hit in the face by Terry's meaty arms as Marshall hits Thunder Struck! The champ drops to the grass courtesy of the polish hammer variant, and Terry goes to pick up Vaughn. He struggles a bit with the deadweight of a limp body, but he eventually lifts Vaughn up enough to throw him under the bottom rope. Terry climbs in quickly after and spends precious seconds to push Vaughn towards the center of the ring. He pins the champ, attempting to tie the score!! ~
Mitch: One……
Two…..
THREENOOOOO!!!
~ Vaughn gets his arm up at the last second, but Terry catches the arm and twists it into a Kimura Armbar!! Or the Saskatchewan Armbar if you're a fan of 1004 holds of Jericho. Vaughn immediately taps out and Mitch forces Terry to break the hold and go to a neutral corner. Zybala changes the t.v. display.
CLOCK
4:22
Marshall - 2 Vaughn - 2
Zybala: Brilliant move by Vaughn there.
Dean: Yup. Tapping out did cost him a point, but the sucka prevented further damage to his arm if he struggled to break the hold.
~ Peter slowly stands up, shaking his arm and trying to gather his bearings. Terry rushes in but Vaughn sees him at the last second as he sidesteps. Terry stops and turns around right into a superkick from Vaughn. Marshall staggers but doesn't fall. Vaughn hits him with another superkick and still Terry won't fall! Vaughn points at Zybala in acknowledgement, and lands a third superkick that finally knocks The Thundering One down! Vaughn goes for a cover but decides against it when he sees Marshall still stirring. Vaughn positions himself and waits for Terry to stand up and when he does, Peter jumps on his back and hits him with Revenged!!
The ZigZag takes the big guy back down, but Vaughn isn't done yet. He rolls Terry to the nearest corner before climbing up the turnbuckles. The fans hold their collective breath as Peter balances on the top, waiting to see if the ropes will hold or collapse like earlier. They hold! Vaughn leaps off with a near perfect shooting star and drops a big leg across Marshall! The Plunge hits its mark and Vaughn goes for the cover! Mitch gets in position…~
Mitch: One……..
Two………..
THREE!!!!
~ Marshall kicks out at 3.0000001, but the fall still counts! ~
CLOCK
5:51
Marshall - 2 Vaughn - 3
~ Marshall immediately gets up and is hunched over as he starts convulsing and shaking. Peter clubs a forearm across Terry's back, who stands straight up, breathing heavily as he stares at Vaughn. Peter looks concerned but says “Oh, fuck that noise” and kicks Terry right in the Thunder Clouds!! The Thunder-maniacs in the crowd boo at the low blow and Mitch is about to call for another d.q. against Peter, but stops when he sees Terry is completely unphased!! In fact, he looks angrier than ever as he points at Vaughn and shouts “YOU!” Vaughn, looking a bit scared. tries to high-tail it, but Marshall catches him and lifts him up for a gorilla press. The Thundering One then throws Vaughn over the top rope to the lawn and then exits the ring himself.
He grabs Vaughn by the back of the neck and starts dragging him across The Yard. Terry drags a struggling Vaughn all the way to Zybala and Dean before Marshall hoists Vaughn up to look at Zybala holding baby Jackie. He demands that Vaughn apologize to the baby for swearing. Vaughn is confused but Terry violently shakes him by the neck, yelling for him to apologize, which ironically causes more distress to the baby than the swearing. Jackie starts to cry and this angers both men. Terry thinks the cuss word has upset the baby's sensitive ears. Peter yells that Terry's loud mouth made “his god-daughter” cry. Before Zybala can tell either men that his wife and him swear like sailors at home, or tell Vaughn that he never said Pete was the Godfather, the two men start trading fists. Zybala angrily yells at them not to fight near the baby.
Vaughn and Marshall stop fighting and apologize for risking harm to the baby before moving over to the other announce table to resume fighting. The Malvados, who have gotten a spare table at this point, start yelling about not fighting near THEIR “baby.” Marshall and Vaughn don't care about the table. They are mindful of the dogs though. The clock ticks by as the two trade punches before Vaughn gets the advantage with a rake to the eyes. He then grabs Terry and with all of his strength, lifts the over 300 pounder for a bodyslam through the Spanish Announce Table! Hector pulls the table out of the way at the last second and Terry hits the grass hard. Zybala is trying to soothe his crying baby as Dean tries talking over her.~
Dean: The Malvado sucka being super protective of that replacement table!!
Zybala: Well, people keep breaking them…
shhhh honey, it's ok. The loud man is gone…. more than you had Casual murders in 2000!
Dean: You mean the golden age on OCW!? Wasn't Syren just the best?!
~ Both men grab at their backs as Terry rolls on the grass, his back hurting from the impact, and Vaughn's from lifting someone over a hundred pounds heavier than himself. Peter gives Terry a few hard stomps and a standing leg drop for good measure before trying to lift up the big guy. Vaughn plans on picking up Marshall to try and bring him back to the ring, exclaiming “Come on, you big bastard!” before giving up. As if suddenly remembering that he has the lead, Vaughn returns to the ring to catch a breather and let time tick off of the clock.
The Thunder-Maniacs start cheering for Terry as he tries to rally and get to his feet, while the Vaughninites He looks at the ring and starts heading back towards it when the crying of the baby distracts him. He walks to Zybala just as Cathy exits the house. He swipes the baby from Zybala's arms and starts making faces at her while cooing “Brother” at the baby. This, against all logic, actually works. Jackie smiles and giggles. A little spit up comes out, but Terry doesn't mind. He hands the happy baby to Cathy and heads towards the ring. Cathy looks at Mike. ~
Cathy: Give that man a point
Zybala: It doesn't work that way, honey.
Cathy:I don't care. Point him, now.
~ Zybala grumbles and types on the laptop. ~
CLOCK
3:14
Marshall - 3 Vaughn - 3
~ Cathy nods with satisfaction before walking back into the house. Peter leaves the ring, walking past Terry and right up to Zybala. He starts arguing about the fairness of the unearned point. Zybala points out that not only did Vaughn get two points for changing the poopie diaper, but that he doesn't have to deal with Cathy after the show. Not happy, but getting where Zybala is coming from, Vaughn begrudgingly goes back to the ring, where Marshall is waiting for him.
]As soon as Vaughn steps between the ropes, Marshall steps forward, ready to continue his upward momentum. Vaughn takes a step back, leaning between the ropes. Mitch steps in, telling Marshall to step back, to which he does. When Peter steps back in, Terry rushes forward and yanks him down for an inside cradle! Before Mitch can start a count, Vaughn reverses the momentum so that he's the one making the pin. Marshall makes a reversal of his own, to which Vaughn counters again. The two start rolling around the ring as one big human ball, trying to get the upper hand. Neither can get it and eventually break apart. They stand up and go at each other as The Yardies enjoy the action! Belvedere calls out over the speakers “TWO MINUTES REMAINING!” as the two trade blows. ~
Zybala: Time is starting to run out and we're all tied up at three a piece!
Dean: These suckas better kick it up a notch. We got no plans for a tie.
Zybala: We go into Sudden Death.
Dean: Shut, sucka. That's so cliché.
Zybala: You got a better idea?
Dean: I'll think of something.
~ Marshall gets the upper hand as he swings heavy shots into Vaughn's ribs that drive the wrestler back. Vaughn gets pushed back into a corner and tries to duck between the ropes again, but Marshall drags him back in the ring, before locking on and giving him a high-angle tiger suplex!! Vaughn rolls to his stomach, hurting, even as Terry comes after him on the mat, punching away at him. His desperation and anger is getting the best of him, remembering everything Vaughn has done to him in TPW. The referee has to pull Marshall off, threatening him with a disqualification if he doesn't regain control.
Marshall takes a few seconds, breathing heavily, before nodding to the referee and going calmly back to Vaughn. He pulls his opponent to his feet and shoots him into the ropes, catching Vaughn on the way back to lift him up for a devastating spinebuster! Vaughn quickly grabs Marshall's head and counters with a modified Tornado D.D.T.!
Both men are on the mat, catching their breath as time ticks by. They both shakily get to their feet as Vaughn jumps up and nailing a knee strike to Marshall's head that causes the big man to drop to a knee. Vaughn runs to the ropes, bouncing off the middle rope and twisting in the air to leap at Marshall with a flying forearm!! The move connects squarely with Terry's jaw, sending The Thundering One back to the mat!! Terry tries to get back up, running on sheer determination and the need to finally get revenge on Vaughn for ousting him from TPW.
Marshall manages to stand up, clasps his hands together and swings a Thunder Struck at Vaughn who ducks under it and jumps up and goes for a Revenged!! Marshall tries to fight it and lean forward, but Vaughn is persistent. He keeps pulling back, goes back to his feet and jumps up once more for another attempt! Marshall tries to stand firm but Vaughn pulls back with all his weight, and though it's slower than Vaughn would have liked, Marshall gets Revenged! Vaughn didn't get all of it, but Terry is down and Vaughn goes for the cover. At the last second, with the last bit of his energy, Terry reaches up and rolls Peter up in a tight inside cradle! ~
Mitch: One……
Two………
THREE!!!!
CLOCK
2:01
Marshall - 4 Vaughn - 3
Dean: Holy Shit, sucka!! Marshall got that in at the wire!!
Zybala: And another two minutes gets added to the clock!
Dean: The Janitor don't look pleased though.
Zybala: Uh-oh. I've seen that look from when he was teaming with Barrows.
~ Marshall releases the cradle and Vaughn pushes away. He is fuming! He gets to his feet and squarely kicks Marshall right in the head!! Marshall falls back to the mat and Vaughn storms from the ring and runs into the house. He is gone for a few moments before re-emerging with a pair of fuzzy handcuffs! Zybala starts to yell about not going in his bedroom but Vaughn ignores him and runs back into the ring. He does spare a glance at the clock and sees only 1:20 remaining. He slides in the ring and tries to handcuff Terry's hands together and eventually succeeds! Unfortunately, they're cuffed together in front, which means Terry can still use Thunder Struck! He starts swinging the Polish Hammer around to keep Vaughn at bay. Vaughn attempts another Superkick to get an upper hand, but his foot gets tangled up in Marshall's hands!
Terry attempts an ankle lock, dragging Vaughn to the mat, but seeing the clock and the score and releases the hold before Vaughn can tap to add more time. As soon as he drops the foot, Vaughn starts slamming his palm on the mat in desperation! Mitch doesn't call for the bell and Vaughn immediately hops to his feet and yells that he tapped. Mitch tells him that there was no contact at the time of the tap, so it doesn't count. Vaughn shoots a glance at the clock. 50 seconds left! He panics and looks for Marshall and spots him sitting in the back row of the fans, waving his handcuffed hands. ~
Dean: How did that big sucka get there so fast??
Zybala: Dude, it's only like 30 feet from the ring.
Dean: Ninja, I'm trying to build the suspense!
Zybala: And I'm proud of you for trying.
~ Vaughn in his panic, turns around and smacks Mitch in the face!! Everyone is stunned, especially Mitch. Vaughn shouts to disqualify him and Mitch raises his hand. Vaughn breathes a sigh of relief, but then he's shocked as Mitch slaps him back. Mitch says he ain't t no WEAK ASS ref and next time Vaughn slaps him, they gonna throw hands. Vaughn just leaves the ring and rushes towards Terry, who hops out of his seat and takes off. Terry runs around the ring as Vaughn gives chase! Being lighter, Vaughn starts to catch up, but Terry turns his head at the right moment to see Vaughn is super close. 39 seconds left!!
Marshall pivots and slides into the ring as Vaughn stumbles past where Marshall was. He regains his footing and slides in the ring and runs at Marshall, who lifts a big boot at the last second! It hits Peter in the shoulder, but Vaughn's momentum knocks Marshall off balance and the two men fall to the mat! Terry tries to roll around and get some distance, but handcuffed hands make that somewhat hard. Marshall gets to his belly and starts to army crawl away, trying to get to the ropes and get some distance. 32 seconds!!!
Vaughn sits up and sees Marshall trying to get away. Crawling on hands and knees, Vaughn quickly gets to Terry and grabs his legs! Vaughn stands and drags a fighting and kicking Marshall to the center of the ring. Peter jumps on Marshall's back and the struggling stops as Marshall cries out in pain. Vaughn then grabs Terry’s legs again and pulls them back for a deep Boston Crab. We're talking like earlier 90s Lion Tamer deep. Marshall is bent almost in a half circle as Vaughn digs a knee into Marshall's lower back for extra damage! Mitch starts asking Marshall if he wants to quit. 20 seconds left! ~
Zybala: Vaughn is gonna tie it up! There is too much time on the clock!
Dean: The Thunder Sucka don't look like he's gonna quit. He's yelling no so loud I think the neighbors might call the cops about a possible rape!
Zybala: Are you blind? That Crab is sunk in so deep, Pete just might break Terry's spine in half!
Dean:.... Bet on it?
Zybala: Fifty says you're wrong!
Dean: You're on, sucka!
~ Vaughn is screaming at Marshall to tap! Marshall is telling Mitch no! The fans are cheering for their favorite! They're divided down the middle! Half chant TAP while the Thunder-Maniacs encourage Marshall to hold out! Belvedere announces that there are TEN seconds remaining!! The fans count down the clock! Vaughn panics and pulls his knee back just to drive it hard back into Marshall's spine!
NINE!
The Thundering One cries out in pain, but doesn't crack!
EIGHT!
Vaughn is screaming for Marshall to tap!
SEVEN!
A fan shouts that he can't tap.
SIX!
Vaughn suddenly releases this, and yells for Marshall to say he quits.
FIVE!
Marshall tells Vaughn to go to hell!
FOUR!
Vaughn screams in frustration as he digs his knee in deeper! Marshall screams once and looks like he is about to pass out!
THREE!
Marshall's head slumps to the mat!
TWO!
Mitch checks on Marshall and tries to raise his hand but realizes he can't!
ONE!
Mitch is unsure what to do. Vaughn screams as Mitch stands up and raises a hand…
ZERO!!!
The buzzer sounds and the crowd cheers. Mitch tells Vaughn that Marshall didn't tap and practically has to drag him off of Marshall. Vaughn leaves the ring, more mad than anyone has ever seen him. Zybala goes and hands Belvedere the handcuff key. Belvedere then walks the title and key to the ring and hands both to Mitch. As the ref tends to Marshall, Belvedere makes his announcement. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…. And NEW Outsiders World Champion…… “THUNDERING” TERRY MARSHALL!!!
~ The Thunder-Maniacs lose their minds as Terry, finally free of the cuffs, groggily gets to his feet and is handed the belt. He holds it high up as his fans cheer and the Vaughnenites boos. Zybala grumpily hands fifty dollars over to Dean. ~
Dean: See?!? I told you, sucka! Thunder Sucka had the guts to hold out and because of that, he's our new World Champ!!
Zybala: When you're right, you're right. I thought Pete had that Boston Crab locked in deep enough. Though neither men should be disappointed with the effort they put in.
Dean: Shit naw. Marshall earned that win, and Vaughn made him fight for it. Both suckas should be proud.
Zybala: Damn straight, partner. Well folks, he's Dean, I'm Mike Zybala, wishing you good fight, good.. wait a second!
Dean: Oh shit, Sucka!
~ Peter Vaughn is back in the ring holding his trusty mop! The fans are telling Marshall to turn around but Vaughn breaks the mop over the back of Terry's head!! Marshall staggers forward as Vaughn quickly grabs him and nails him with another Revenged!! Marshall is down on the mat as a small puddle of blood starts to pool around his head. Vaughn leans over, grabs the title and yells at Marshall not to get used to holding it before throwing it in Terry's face. Vaughn leaves the ring, ignoring the boos that follow him. Mitch starts checking on Marshall when “Zombies” hit the speakers!! The Yardies pop hard as Zombie Marcus shambles out of the garage holding the Loose Change in the Pocket piggy bank!! The fans cheer as Marcus moves a little too quickly towards the ring. ~
Dean: Welp, this sucks for Marshall. After winning the World Title, he gets attacked and now he gon’ most likely lose the belt.
Zybala: That's the danger of the Piggy Bank. Marcus could cash in at any time.
Dean: Speaking of…. Does his skin look less… ashy to you? Like he's getting some color back?
Zybala:.... I think you're right! And he seems a bit quicker too.
~ Marcus reaches ringside and hands the piggy bank to Belvedere, groaning while smacking it then pointing to a bleeding Marshall. Mitch is trying to help Terry, but he can't interfere with the cash-in. Marcus slides into the ring and waits in a corner.
Belvedere: Zombie Marcus is cashing in his Loose Change in the Pocket Piggy Bank!!
~ Again, The Yardies cheer, because who doesn't love a good cash-in? Mitch backs away from a still laid out Marshall and calls for the bell! Zombie Marcus rushes up to Terry and using Zombie strength, pulls the big man up. The title slides off of Terry as Marcus then sticks his head between his legs. With a loud “GRAAAWR!’ Marcus lifts Marshall up for a Crucifix Powerbomb!! He holds the new champ up for a second before bringing him crashing to the mat with His Legacy!!! Marcus ignores going for his old finisher, The Punisher clover leaf, and covers Marshall!! ~
Mitch: One…….
Two…….
THREE!!!
~ Mitch calls for the bell and picks up the belt before handing it to Zombie Marcus, keeping out of grabbing range. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…… and NEW Outsiders World Champion…… ZOMBIE MARCUS!!
~ Marcus looks at the title, bewildered, not sure what to make of it. Slowly, his eyes seem to get more focused. A ghost of a smile appears at the corners of his mouth before he raises his new championship high! ~
Zombie Marcus: GRRRRAAAAWWWRRRYYYYEEAAAH!!!
~ Everyone is shocked by the sudden word spoken by The Zombie, especially Marcus. The Malvados exchange hushed words between the pair and Hector pulls out the shock collar remote. ~
Dean: Oh bulllshit!
Zybala: What?
Dean: This Warm Bodies shit again.
Zybala: What do you mean?
Dean: Man, just close the show..
~ Before Zybala can do his usual sign off, Marcus screams in pain before collapsing to the mat. The Malvados then rush to the ring and drag the Zombie out, and carry him and the title out of The Yard as the scene fades to black. ~