Post by Jock Reasoning on Mar 10, 2024 17:31:44 GMT -5
The Location is Canada. Otherwise known as THE GREAT COUNTRY TO THE NORTH. The power of the wind is strong. Jock, all bundled up, sits atop a dog sled. Four dogs are strapped to the sled, pulling it through the snow-covered wilderness. Each dog has a collar. “Lopaka 1” “Lopaka 2” “Lopaka 3” and, of course, “Lopaka 5.” We’re not sure what happened to ‘Lopaka 4.” The sled is comprised of dog bones from the previous lopakas who have passed on. It serves as a reminder that these pups should always keep moving forward.
Jock Reasoning: Why is it so fuckin cold up here? Is this even normal? It’s fuckin March. And how big is this farm, anyway?
The dogs keep pushing. Anything that gets in their way is either trounced or mangled. In the distance, a menacing figure trudges through the snow. It carries the carcass of some animal in one hand and a massive axe in the other.
Jock Reasoning: What is THAT?
The dogs start to howl and bark as they approach the figure. The figure reaches a tree and swings its axe. The tree falls after one hit. The figure brings the animal carcass to its face and rips a giant chunk of meat out.
Jock Reasoning: Is that Bigfoot? The Yeti? How do I get these dogs to turn around?
Jock reaches for the reigns but ‘Lopaka 3’ turns around and snarls at him, mid-stride. Lopaka 3 has always been the most aggressive Lopaka. Jock yanks his hand back and folds his arms. His eyes watch as the menacing figure gets closer and closer and closer. Are they gonna barrel right into it? The noise is unavoidably loud at this juncture, the figure looks up and spots the dog sled barreling its way. It raises both its thick arms and yells out.
Menacing Figure: Ay! Slow down ya choads!
The dogs yelp and dig their heels into the sand bringing the sled to a sudden halt. Jock flies forward, tumbling through the snow and coming to rest at the feet of the menacing figure. Pulling his face out of the snow, he looks around. The half-eaten animal carcass falls next to him. His face slowly turns upward, seeing the menacing figure twirling its axe with its other hand.
Menacing Figure: You.
Jock rises to his knees and leans back, his hands begging the figure off.
Jock Reasoning: Please. No.
The axe slowly descends. It finds its way under Jock’s chin. It raises his head. He stares into th e darkness that is the Menacing Figure’s face. A scarred, calloused, dirty hand reaches out and grabs Jock by the hair, knocking his hood off. It then ruffles the hair and rubs Jack’s head playfully.
Menacing Figure: How the hell ya been?
Jock Reasoning: Wha…What?
Light seems to hit just right, revealing the Menacing Figure to be…BOB GRENIER.
Bob Grenier: Hungry?
Bob points to the carcass next to Jock.
Jock Reasoning: Uh, no, I’m a little too frightened to eat.
Bob Grenier: Ah, must’ve been Lopaka 3.
Bob whistles with his fingers. The dogs rush forward and devour what’s left of the carcass.
Jock Reasoning: I’m glad I found you. Now we can head back…
Bob Grenier: Head back? It’s pretty late in the day. Might as well set up camp right here. Spend the night out on the Grenier Farm!
Jock lowers his head.
Jock’s demeanor has perked up. A warm fire and tons of beer will do that. Bob chugs a can of beer, tossing it over his shoulder. He then brings a fat joint to his mouth and takes a huge hit, offering it to Jock. Jock declines.
Jock Reasoning: I thought you were going to kill me after how Survivor Season 1 went.
Bob Grenier: I don’t even remember that! How long was I out there?
Jock Reasoning: Three days, at least.
Bob Grenier: Man. I really need to cut back on this shit.
Grenier takes a hit and pounds back another beer as he contemplates sobriety.
Bob Grenier: You guys are doing another one? That’s the message I got from the board, anyway.
Jock Reasoning: Yea. OCW Title shot on the line. Redemption from Season 1. For you, anyway.
Bob stares into the fire.
Bob Grenier: Redemption.
There’s a fire in his eyes that is not attributable to the flames in front of him.
Bob Grenier: Let’s go.
Jock Reasoning: Go? Where?
Bob Grenier: The island.
Jock Reasoning: But we’re in the woods. Middle of nowhere. Snow.
Bob Grenier: Stop being such a bitch. The Lopakas will take you.
Bob grabs Jock by the arm and slings him onto the dog bone sled.
Jock Reasoning: What about you?
Bob rears back and lets out a mighty Grenier Roar. Something massive roars back. Jock curls up, terrified. A massive bear appears from the darkness. Bob snaps a branch off the tree he cut down and dips it into the flames. He hops on the bear’s back.
Jock Reasoning: You serious?
Bob Grenier: Let’s go win back the title I never should have lost.
Grenier digs his heels into the bear and it takes off running. The dogs growl and take off behind the bear.
Bob Grenier - Coerced
Entrant #8 into the OCW Survivor Season 3 Field.
Jock Reasoning: Why is it so fuckin cold up here? Is this even normal? It’s fuckin March. And how big is this farm, anyway?
The dogs keep pushing. Anything that gets in their way is either trounced or mangled. In the distance, a menacing figure trudges through the snow. It carries the carcass of some animal in one hand and a massive axe in the other.
Jock Reasoning: What is THAT?
The dogs start to howl and bark as they approach the figure. The figure reaches a tree and swings its axe. The tree falls after one hit. The figure brings the animal carcass to its face and rips a giant chunk of meat out.
Jock Reasoning: Is that Bigfoot? The Yeti? How do I get these dogs to turn around?
Jock reaches for the reigns but ‘Lopaka 3’ turns around and snarls at him, mid-stride. Lopaka 3 has always been the most aggressive Lopaka. Jock yanks his hand back and folds his arms. His eyes watch as the menacing figure gets closer and closer and closer. Are they gonna barrel right into it? The noise is unavoidably loud at this juncture, the figure looks up and spots the dog sled barreling its way. It raises both its thick arms and yells out.
Menacing Figure: Ay! Slow down ya choads!
The dogs yelp and dig their heels into the sand bringing the sled to a sudden halt. Jock flies forward, tumbling through the snow and coming to rest at the feet of the menacing figure. Pulling his face out of the snow, he looks around. The half-eaten animal carcass falls next to him. His face slowly turns upward, seeing the menacing figure twirling its axe with its other hand.
Menacing Figure: You.
Jock rises to his knees and leans back, his hands begging the figure off.
Jock Reasoning: Please. No.
The axe slowly descends. It finds its way under Jock’s chin. It raises his head. He stares into th e darkness that is the Menacing Figure’s face. A scarred, calloused, dirty hand reaches out and grabs Jock by the hair, knocking his hood off. It then ruffles the hair and rubs Jack’s head playfully.
Menacing Figure: How the hell ya been?
Jock Reasoning: Wha…What?
Light seems to hit just right, revealing the Menacing Figure to be…BOB GRENIER.
Bob Grenier: Hungry?
Bob points to the carcass next to Jock.
Jock Reasoning: Uh, no, I’m a little too frightened to eat.
Bob Grenier: Ah, must’ve been Lopaka 3.
Bob whistles with his fingers. The dogs rush forward and devour what’s left of the carcass.
Jock Reasoning: I’m glad I found you. Now we can head back…
Bob Grenier: Head back? It’s pretty late in the day. Might as well set up camp right here. Spend the night out on the Grenier Farm!
Jock lowers his head.
SEVERAL HOURS LATER
Jock’s demeanor has perked up. A warm fire and tons of beer will do that. Bob chugs a can of beer, tossing it over his shoulder. He then brings a fat joint to his mouth and takes a huge hit, offering it to Jock. Jock declines.
Jock Reasoning: I thought you were going to kill me after how Survivor Season 1 went.
Bob Grenier: I don’t even remember that! How long was I out there?
Jock Reasoning: Three days, at least.
Bob Grenier: Man. I really need to cut back on this shit.
Grenier takes a hit and pounds back another beer as he contemplates sobriety.
Bob Grenier: You guys are doing another one? That’s the message I got from the board, anyway.
Jock Reasoning: Yea. OCW Title shot on the line. Redemption from Season 1. For you, anyway.
Bob stares into the fire.
Bob Grenier: Redemption.
There’s a fire in his eyes that is not attributable to the flames in front of him.
Bob Grenier: Let’s go.
Jock Reasoning: Go? Where?
Bob Grenier: The island.
Jock Reasoning: But we’re in the woods. Middle of nowhere. Snow.
Bob Grenier: Stop being such a bitch. The Lopakas will take you.
Bob grabs Jock by the arm and slings him onto the dog bone sled.
Jock Reasoning: What about you?
Bob rears back and lets out a mighty Grenier Roar. Something massive roars back. Jock curls up, terrified. A massive bear appears from the darkness. Bob snaps a branch off the tree he cut down and dips it into the flames. He hops on the bear’s back.
Jock Reasoning: You serious?
Bob Grenier: Let’s go win back the title I never should have lost.
Grenier digs his heels into the bear and it takes off running. The dogs growl and take off behind the bear.
Bob Grenier - Coerced
Entrant #8 into the OCW Survivor Season 3 Field.
