Dream-Hack (Alice vs Cypher RP) Technical Difficulties 2
Jan 25, 2024 9:51:38 GMT -5
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Post by Alice Knight on Jan 25, 2024 9:51:38 GMT -5
DREAM-HACK (The Animated Adventure)
“What do you dream of? What is in your dreams? What do they mean? Why do they occur the way they do? If you have ever asked any of these questions. Then maybe Dream-Hack is for you! If you are not an owl loving female professional wrestler with a pet owl and a Mustard corporation. And also will wrestle some computer dweeb fighters in February. If this is not you. Please turn off the video now.”
DREAM-HACK!
“Still with us? Cool. At Dream-Hack Corp. We use state of the art computer technology to ‘hack’ into your thoughts. Your mind. Your dreams. Top scientists and professors from around the world will study your mind's dreams. They will determine why those thoughts go through your brain.”
DREAM-HACK!
“Now you’re asking yourself “how do “me’s” be a part of this breakthrough experiment on “you’s” brains? Well that's the E-Z part. What’s that? E-Z? Yep! It’s E-Z! Two simple letters that are E-Z to understand. Because not only is Dream-Hack E-Z! But it’s FREE too! That’s right! E-Z Free!”
DREAM-HACK!
“How E-Z Free is it? Well all you have to do is fly to Taiwan. Find the Arab Nun that feeds the squirrels in the park. Yes. That park! She will direct you to an underground entrance to a bunch of tunnels. Choose the tunnel with the most sunshine directed off of your personal horseshoe. After an hour of climbing through the muddy tunnels. It will lead you to our offices. That’s where you will be stripped of all of your clothing, showered and forced to wear one of our white bodysuits. SO when Dr. Omar inserts needles and tubes into all of your orifices and then and only then you will be Dream-Hack cleansed. After that, you WILL donate $10,000 dollars into our Dream-Hack charity. A charity made to insure ALL of our doctors are well fed. Well groomed. And well financed for the rest of their lives. IT’S E-Z FREE!”
DREAM-HACK!
“Are you a Dream-Hacker?”
We cut to a shot of a close up on Alice Knight’s eyes opening from a long sleep. She is startled from a nightmare. She quickly touches her face, breasts and private parts. She sighs in relief. Smiling now, she slowly gets out of the bed. She looks confused as she is in an empty white room. She approaches a two-face mirror and puts her palms on it.
“Hey! What’s the big idea? Are you’z a bunch of wise guys or something? Ehhhh. Forget about it. Oh! Ickery-dicker-dock! OH!”
Alice does a bad Dice Clay as the sounds of the door being unlocked is heard throughout the room. Alice goes into a Karate stance awaiting whoever enters.
“You enter here. You better be prepared for a showdown with the Hooter queen, bitches!”
The door opens as four individuals enter in hasmask suits. They quietly stare at Alice. She remains in an ‘attack pose’. That’s when a elderly black-man dressed in black leather enters. He looks a lot like…
“Morgan Freeman?”
He adjusts his sunglasses.
“Um. No. My name is… Um. Lorman. Yes. Lorman. Um… Lorman… Um… Pea-gone. Yesssss. Lorman. Pea-gone. Ha. Yes.”
Alice nods while smirking. She looks at the hasmask people and gently leans into the black-man and whispers to the man.
“You’re Morgan Freeman right? Shawshank. Million Dollar Baby. Johnny Handsome. You can tell me. Come on…”
He shakes his head ‘no’.
“You have NOT seen Johnny Handsome.”
“Have so! I love Tom Sizemore!”
“Ha! It’s Mickey Rourke!”
“AH HA! Only someone who acted in JOHNNY HANDSOME would know it wasn’t grease-ball Sizemore but greasy-slime-ball Mickey Rourke! I duped you, bud.”
“Dammit! AHHH! I am not the actor Morgan Freeman, Alice. I am Lorman.. Key? Was it Key? I know it was something gone…”
“Yea I forget too.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re probably wondering why you are here at Dream-Hack.”
Alice nods.
“Yeaaaah. I did all those TOTALLY UN-EASY steps. And when I got to the end of the muddy tunnel. It was so gross! My clothes were torn off me by strangers. I mean. That happens a lot. But it was awful as I just bought that NEW dress at the Used Clothing Thrift Store. And that damn Dr. Omar and his nurses stuck all kinds of rubber tubs inside my body filling me up with liquid goo.”
Alice giggles.
“Well I rather enjoyed that part. Then I had some of the worst dreams of my entire life! And I woke up in this white room with no black curtains like that old song promised. Music is freaking horse shit, dudes. I mean. Since that turd alert CYPH3R returned and Tamika Strader booked us together in that OCW/PWA Dream Match scenario. That damn computer geek has been haunting my dreams. Not in a fun erotic way either. Like creepy, little girl from the Ring stuff. I thought maybe Owlie would find me in a closet with my mouth all warped and rotten from fear. But nah. I am way too pretty and brave for that to happen to me.”
“Right. Well the liquid goo as you put is what we call at Dream-Hack; Nano-Bot Ooze.”
“Ew. That doesn’t sound very sexy. Why not call it something like Nano-Semen. Or Nano-Cum. Or even Nano-Dick Snot.”
“Jesus, Alice. Gross. Well the Nano-Bot Ooze went through your blood system that went straight to your brain. Which created a dream-live-capturing device. Which gave us a live-stream of your thoughts. We watched and analysed it as you slept. And might we say it was some of the most disturbing stuff we’ve ever seen.”
“Cool! So I am like the bestest of dreaming-dreams in this doo-hickey thingy so far? Nice. Alice for the Win! Do I get a trophy? Or like brownies? If it’s goat-milk brownies. I will pass. But made with regular 2% Milk? Gimme-gimme-gimme.”
“There isn’t a prize, Alice. What we found disturbed us, yes. But we have follow up questions to determine why you dream this way. We are here to help, Alice.”
“Well you can help me by directing me to the exit door. Preferably non-mud-tunnel exit.”
“Please Alice. We can help you. Trust us. We can figure out why you have these haunted dreams.”
Alice laughs.
“Look. I will admit. I am a little nervous about getting back into the ring. I am a wee-bit rusty. But heck, so is Cypher. Buddy has been behind bars for the last year or so. I mean while he has been trying to not drop the bar of soap and eating cream corn and slimy beef for his dinners. I have been living the high life. Just not the IN-RING kind of memorable life. So in many ways. We are kind of equals in this match. But he does have something to prove. Not just by beating an OCW Hall of Famer. Not even to earn a shot at that PWA or OCW Heavyweight title. Side note. Do I get that shot too if I win? Hm. Doesn’t matter. But beating me, getting that shot will show the wrestling world that he can still go, after so much time away from the ring. But to think he is like ‘getting’ to me in my mind. Well that’s a bunch of gobbly-gook, Morgan!”
Morgan sighs.
“Here, Alice. Please watch this screen. But we need you to close your eyes real tight.”
“Why? So you can butt-fuck me? Nice try, rubber-hand.”
“Please, Alice. Close your eyes… that’s if you can.”
“Shhhhhhhhit boy. I’ve been closing my eyes my entire life. I am the best god-damn eye closer on the planet. When I used to drive taxi cars in San Diego, pre-wrestling, I once drove the Governor off a pier with my eyes closed. We went straight into the river. And when he asked me why I did that with my eyes closed?I told that smelly loser to go fuck-a-duck. I can close my eyes!”
Alice closes her eyes tightly as images appear on the screen. She opens them as the images play out.
~The images show an empty country bar. Alice is dressed as a cowgirl doing her infamous cow-girl-pew-pew erotic dance for a man seated in a chair. That man? Randy Travis. Randy begins feeling her booty but Alice gently smacks his hands away. She begins grinding his groyne area with her butt. All while pointing her hands like pistols in the air shouting ‘PEW! PEW!’. Alice turns around. But the man is now in a hood. She slowly stops dancing. The ‘pews’ stop.. Um.. pewing. She gets her face closer to the hooded man.~
~ALICE: Randy? Is that you?~
~She pulls the hood back to see googly eyed CYPHER staring back at her with a creepy grin. Alice backs away as CYPHER shakes towards her. She falls to her knees but just as CYPHER is about to grab her. DARKNESS!~
We see the man in leather next to Alice watching the darkness on the screen. Alice shrugs.
“I don’t always dream of Randy Travis. It’s sometimes Travis Tritt too. I’m not weird.”
“BUT THERE IS MORE!!”
~More images from Alice’s dreams appear on the screen. We see Alice walking on a beach with Owlie on her shoulder. They look down to see a sandcastle.~
~ALICE: Hey Owlie. Imagine if my ants lived in an ant-hill-castle? That’d be pretty sweet.~
~OWLIE: Indeed Alice. That would be pretty fucking radical if you ask me. And you did. You did ask me.~
~ALICE: I didn’t know you could speak, Owlie!~
~OWLIE: I can sing too. Why don’t you grind your butt into that sandcastle while I sing a cover of Peter Cetera’s song from The Karate Kid Part Two soundtrack.~
~ALICE: You had me at grinding my butt on something.~
Owlie begins singing the song as Alice rubs her butt on the sandcastle. Making it crumble to dirt. But suddenly the sun goes down and everything gets dark. The singing stops. Alice stops. She looks up but sees CYPHER with googly eyes on Owlie’s head. Alice falls to her knees again as OWL-CYPHER gets closer. DARKNESS.~
“See Alice! It happened again! Do you see? Do you see now that you can be fixed? We can help you.”
“It’s not THAT weird. Is it?”
“THERE IS ONE MORE!”
“Oh god no. Is this the recurring dream where I am in highschool and presenting to my fellow students. But I am wearing an oversized diaper and a shirt that reads “Me. Me. Baby, Me. Feed Me Mashed Taters, Me.”
The room goes silent.
“Um… no.”
Alice breaks the silence by laughing.
“Ha ha. Ya. I just made that up. That never happened… ever. Never-ever.”
“WATCH!”
~The images appear again to a green room. Now it’s Alice in a dunce hat. She is now grinding the googly-eyed CYPHER’s face with her butt. All while an old man watches holding a bees nest on his wheelchair with Creed’s - HIGHER is playing.~
**A record scratch sound effect is heard.**
“What the hell, Alice?”
“Ok. Ok. I can explain. Just give me an hour to think about reasons why this is going on?”
“There isn’t time. Don’t think about it. Be open with me. If you can’t be open about your inner dreams and secrets to some stranger that looks a lot like Academy Award winning actor, Morgan Freeman, then who can you trust?”
Alice looks nervous.
“I. Can’t. This is too much. I should have one of my amazing Chunky Mustard Sandwiches to make me nauseous and pass out for a bit. I can’t talk about it…”
“JUST DO IT, ALICE!”
“FINE! IT SHOULD BE ME!”
The room goes silent.
“It should be me. Once upon a time I was OCW’s favourite star. Once upon a time Alice Knight was the face of OCW that every fan, wrestler and human being associated with the hottest wrestling company in the world. I was on top of the world. I won the biggest belt you can win. I was inducted into the HALL OF FAME! I was the IT girl of OCW! But then it went away. My power. My respectability. Like other OCW legends and Hall of Famers before me. I didn’t leave. The MJ Bell’s. Matt Meyhu’s. The Scott Syren’s. I was once in their league. One of the all time greats. But I stuck around. And unlike The Big Bifford, I never got back into the mainevent spotlight. I was just… there. And then the PIC’s and the STRADER’s and that Goddamn Hacker… CYPH3R. They came in. Blew the competition away. And became the top stars in the company. In the industry. And yes. I am well liked. Loved by many. But my spot in the business? Vanished. Gone like Extra Chunky Owl Is Night Mustard jars off grocery store shelves around the world. Sorry. Cheap plug.”
Alice smirks.
“If I can beat who was once considered the most promising wrestler in the business. Cypher. I beat him at Technical Difficulties 2. And I can derail his so-called comeback. Call me evil if you want. Call me a bitch too. Hell, go ahead. Call me a dirty mean whore-slut-bitch-skank-twat. I don’t care.”
“No ones going to call you that…”
“Doesn’t matter. Some think CYPHER is using a victory over me to keep rising to the top. But it’s the other way around. If I win, If I beat him. If I put down the Hacker? Then power returns to me. The eyes are all back on me. Alice F’n Knight. The HOOT’s will be heard around the world. And what glorious HOOTs that will be, Mr. Pee-gone. That is why he haunts my dreams. That’s why he is in my mind. He is my target. And I will not stop until we are toe to toe in the middle of that OCW ring. The Hacker versus the Hooter. OCW’s Legend versus OCW’s FUTURE. Alice Knight. Versys, Cypher. It will be epic. And there will be blood. Does that answer your fucking questions? Huh? You assholes. Is that enough for you to digest!?!”
Alice stares down the man in black.
“No. No that didn’t actually.”
“Say what, now?”
“No. No Alice. Our concern isn’t why your wrestling opponent CYPHER appears in your dreams. No. That makes sense. I mean you are going to battle against him.”
“Ok. Hm. So what then?”
“Well… I think you have an addiction to what can only be scientifically classified under its sensitive medical term. You have a mean case of ‘sex-butt-stuff’ issues.”
“Sex. Butt. Stuff issues? That’s the ‘medical’ term?”
“Yep! At first we just thought you had ants in your pants. A classic case of ants in pants or panties can often cause an irritable itch in your rear that needs to be scratched. But after examining your clothes. Not one ant to be found. That’s when Doctor Omar shouted out; ‘She needs a stiff boner in her booty!” And we laughed and hi-fived each other in response.”
Alice frowns.
“Where is the exit? I am leaving now.”
“No no. We can fix this. We picked out four of the sexiest beefcake interns from our offices. The ones with the largest dongs to insert into your anus. With your consent of course.”
The hasmask guys tear off their suits, leaving the masks on, revealing tiny leopard skin speedos. They begin dancing seductively to a generic disco beat.
“Please direct me to the exit now. Please. Fuck sakes. I… I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“If these sexy stud muffins don’t float your boat. We can bring in one of our dirty lesbians. She will wear one of those french tickler strap ons to sodomize you. We will all watch of course to… um… analyse your progress. With your signed consent of course. But don’t worry. It won’t be as awkward as it sounds. Some of us may play with our private parts while this is happening to you. But it will be done professionally and safely. I mean. We’re doctors for Christ sake. What do you say, Alice?”
“...”
An angry Alice looks back at them with a blank stare. She takes a deep breath and slowly exits the room. She quietly walks to the muddy tunnel entrance. She bends down and crawls into the mud and towards the light at the end of the tunnel.
> What did we learn from this? Well for one never trust a shady internet advert. No matter how E-Z it sounds. Or how high-tech it is also. But we also learned that dreams happen to all of us. What haunts you in your sleep doesn’t affect your real life. Take Alice for instance. She has been hoarding her Wrestling Career issues for years. It may have been the nightmares and upcoming match with CYPHER that finally broke the camel's back. Both need this win at Technical Difficulties 2. But only one can get the pinfall or submission.
The Hacker? Or The Hooter?
Wrestling’s Future? Or Wrestling’s Legacy?
CYPH3R? Or ALICE KNIGHT?
wH0 1s ur p1ck?
#HOOT