Impossible Christmas Adventures for the Thomas Family

[Dylan Thomas]

Where have Lissandra and I been? I know, Dylan Thomas has kind of sunk into the background as of late. With Rob - Lord Allton - getting more spotlight in OCW now that he is OCW management, I didn’t like him leaving the A-List Family but I do appreciate that he had to do it for the business. So yeah, Dylan disappeared. Well, it must be said that all of that is about to change! Dylan Thomas is about to use his next opponent to step back into the limelight. The next sacrificial lamb to get his career back on track and you, Michelle Attwood are that sacrificial lamb. Nothing personal, but yeah… it’s going to be me getting the W at Christmas Chaos - not you.



Coming off of my nightmare with that Children of the Vard cult, my wrestling career is about to be rejuvenated! What a Christmas present, huh?

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It’s Christmas time with the Thomas’s and while most people at this time of year are going to busy, dank, horrible shopping malls with the same Christmas jingle playing over and over until your ears bleed, getting last minute Christmas presents and seeing fat security guard Joe pretending to be Santa for the fifteenth year in a row, the Thomas’s have done one better: They’ve gone to take Lilly to the big guy himself. They’re in Santa’s workshop in the north pole! As the big man himself is showing the Thomas’s around the workshop (private tour of course, who knew Santa was a wrestling fan?) Dylan whispers to Lissandra.



Dylan: Psst, baby.



Lissandra: Yes, honey?



Dylan: Do you know who I’m facing at Christmas Chaos?



Lissandra: Ah! Yes, I checked before we got here, actually. Michelle Attwood.



Dylan: The backstage interviewer?!!



Santa: Ho ho ho! And this is where we build the toys for all the good little boys and girls throughout the world!



As they follow Santa into the workshop, Lilly is beginning to get more and more excited as she sees toys a-plenty on the conveyor belts being made and built by the elves.



Lilly: TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Santa: Ho ho ho! You like toys, don’t you Lilly?



Lilly: Yes!



Santa: Ho ho ho! Well…how about a toy to take home? Elvis!



The fore-elf in charge of all the other elves stops overseeing for a moment and walks over, looking up at his boss.



Elvis: Yes, sir?


Santa: Elvis, this is Lilly Thomas. She’s always on my good list. Please, give her an early Christmas present to be going home with.



Elvis the elf nods and walks off, soon returning with multiple dolls - and even a double pack, action figure set of her mother and father! Lilly’s eyes grow wide with excitement. Elvis the elf hands Lilly her presents and everyone smiles at Lilly’s excitement.



Santa: Ho, ho ho! Right, shall we see the reindeer?



The screen fades out.

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Dylan: You know Michelle… I don’t know who you are but don’t take this beating personally. I don’t care about you (no offence), I don’t hate you. I don’t like you. You are just in my way at Christmas Chaos. You are the stepping stone to getting my career back on track. It just is what it is. You’re across from me in the ring at Christmas Chaos and I need to win at Christmas Chaos.



So don’t take it personally. This match at Christmas Chaos is nothing more than a business transaction between you and I. Nothing more, nothing less. And after I beat you at Christmas Chaos, my career can soar again and you… You can go back to… to… doing whatever you do. Commentary is it? Nice one. Good for you. My wife does commentary on Equality. It’s hard to do - I’ve done colour commentary as well. So I’m not taking anything from you at that commentary table. But as for getting in the ring with me…



That will not end well for you Michelle. But I’ll try and go a little easy on you. Maybe. I won’t randomly break your ankle at least. Promise. I’m currently in Santa’s workshop at the moment, so I have to tell the truth.



See you at the show.

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Outside in the reindeer stables, Dylan is carrying Lilly and Santa calls the reindeer over. They come over immediately.



Santa: Lilly, would you like to feed the reindeer?


Lilly’s eyes grow wide with anticipation and Santa hands over multiple carrots. Lilly scoops them up and calls each reindeer over individually by name as they eagerly accept their carrots. Dylan and Lissandra look astonished that Lilly is able to name all of the reindeer, individually by name. Santa looks suitably impressed and Dylan looks over at Rudolph and inquires:



Dylan: So uh… Santa?



Santa: Yes, Dylan?



Dylan: What’s the deal with Rudolph anyway?



Santa: I’m sorry. I don’t follow.



Dylan: Well he has a very shiny red nose.



Santa: Yes…?



Dylan: So… I was just wondering why he had a very shiny red nose. I mean, it’s not exactly a question that we can ask you normally, is it?



Santa: Ho ho ho! I don’t suppose it is, no!



Dylan: Is it a tumour like Family Guy suggests it to be?



Santa: Ho ho ho. No, it’s not a tumour. Dylan… think about it. If Rudolph had a tumour, do you really believe that he would last this long as my head reindeer?



Dylan: Hm. No, I guess not.



Santa and Dylan spend the next fifteen minutes debating what is the cause of Rudolph’s shiny red nose with Santa suitably dodging the questions. (He has to keep the mystique alive, now doesn’t he? At least we know that it isn’t a tumour.



After a while, Santa and the Thomas family head into Santa’s house where Mrs Claus is there waiting, ready to serve a lovely turkey dinner. Everyone eats and then they head out to Santa’s sleigh. Santa looks at the Thomas’s and smiles.



Santa: Right then! Let’s get you home!



The scene fades out.

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Word Count: 1000 exactly.