Post by Max Rotten on Oct 18, 2023 18:05:19 GMT -5
Max watches his tag team partner rush into the bathroom, followed by his mom. He slowly opens the door to the gymnasium and immediately gets in the face of Casey, the former jock.
Max: Hey fuckwit!
Casey: Who the fuck are - how did you get in here? This is a private party!
Max: I do whatever the fuck I want buddy. Whenever the fuck I want to do it. You think that’s funny, what happened to Gilbert?
Casey: Actually, yeah. Wait. You know Gilbert?
Max: Yes… he’s my tag team partner. Now shut the fuck up and fight me!
Casey: Fight you? I don’t even know you, you psychopath!
Without warning, from nowhere, Max smacks the former jock in the face. Casey stumbles back and as Gilbert’s former schoolmates start to surround Max, Gilbert and his mom emerge from the bathroom. Gilbert is obviously in shock. He cannot believe that his wrestling tag team partner is here, starting a fight. Well, the ‘starting a fight’ bit he can understand, of course - it is of course Max Rotten - the living personification of fighting in human form. But here at his high school reunion? That was something that Gilbert never expected!
Gilbert: Max?! What the jibblies are you doing here?!
Max: Hey buddy!
Max shouts over at his tag team partner as someone tries to attack him from behind, only to be met with a knee to the gut.
Max: I just thought that you might need some, uh… support so I decided to follow you and keep an eye on you and by the looks of it, it’s a good job that I did.
Gilbert: Well look, Max… I must admit I’m glad you’re here. But I think it’s time that we got out of here.
Max grabs a nearby chair and carries on the brawl. Someone gets smacked in the back with a chair, while someone else gets sent through the punchbowl table before finally Max knocks someone out with the punchbowl ladle. Max then walks over to Gilbert and his mom while the three of them look at the carnage around them.
Max: Aw but c’mon buddy. The fighting is just getting good, you know?
Gilbert: MAX! L-look a-at me! I’m covered in red gunge thanks to these idiots! Can we go home, PUH-LEEZE? Save the fighting for the tag team title match!
Max sighs. He doesn’t like to see Gilbert upset deep down. In reality he does have sort of a soft spot for the little guy, even if he will never admit it. But the fact that Max is here to save his partner’s ass, that’s got to count for something, doesn’t it? Deep down Max hopes so.
Max: OK Gilbert. OK. You win, buddy. I like you, I mean, not very much. But I like you.
Gilbert smiles.
Gilbert: th-Thank-you for listening to me for once, Max.
The trio walk out of the gymnasium, Max with his arm around Gilbert’s shoulders as the screen fades out.
=====================================================================
So a ‘Tag Team I Quit’ match eh boys? Well now doesn’t that sound just up my alley? Look, I never once envisioned becoming tag team partners with Gilbert the walking pipecleaner, much less a champion with him! But here we are, defending the belts against two alleged ‘ no good bastards’. You boys think that because you talk a big game and Nickleman the fact that you like pain that you have an advantage in this match but you really don’t. Charlie, I’m just like you man. An asshole that likes violence that lives for violence that GETS OFF on violence. As Dr. Evil once said to Austin Powers: ‘We’re not so different you and I….’
But of course there is one way in which we are different to you two: We’re the champs. And by the time the match is over, the kid and I are gonna continue being the tag team champions - you know why?! I’ve never said ‘I Quit’ in my life! Not when it comes to the fight. El Knuckle, and Charlie…you’re going to have to bury me and the kid in the ground to get us to lose our titles and hell, even then…. I’ll come back as a fucking ghost and I still won’t say the words ‘I Quit’. We worked hard to win those tag team titles and I’ll be damned if we lose them to a couple of washed up, fake ‘bastards’ like you two.
El Knuckle… you said ages ago that I was ‘trying to sound like a badass’ and that I really wasn’t. Well I don’t need to prove anything to you with fucking words do I jackass? In this business you know as well as I do that it’s actions that fucking matter. Only actions and always the actions! So let’s get this match underway and then we’ll see who the real ‘badass’ is! The phrase ‘you’ve never faced anything like me before’ gets thrown around so much in our business that at this rate, it’s essentially lost all meaning, so I won’t bore you by saying it… But Charlie. I will say this: Out of the two of us, let’s see who the real psychopath is eh?
I’ll be bringing my favourite pair of glass covered gloves, you just bring your faces so I can carve them up like a turkey dinner, yeah? In all my time of being on the Outsiders roster, it’s YOU Charlie who I’ve wanted to face the most. Consider it a compliment, Charlie, that it’s you whose face I want to carve the most. I’m just a younger version of you, bro. I’ll carve your faces up, I’ll smack you over the head with anything that isn’t nailed down and then me and the kid are retaining our tag team titles.
You can’t stop us. You won’t stop us. The bastards may have been around for a long time so you might think that the experience that is on your side is going to give you the edge. It won’t. Because I simply do not care what I have to do to win. I’d fuck your mothers if it came down to winning the match! So, just how far are the bastards willing to go to win, boys? Because I guarantee that Max Rotten is willing to go further! Just some food for thought. We’ll see you at the show.
======================================================================
We fade back in and it’s the next day. Gilbert has now cleaned up completely and Gilbert and Max are on the beach, training for the upcoming match. Max and Gilbert lock up with Max taking the obvious advantage.
Max: Right. What do you do here, kid?
Gilbert goes for the trip but Max is too sturdy.
Max: Good but think outside the box, kid. I’m too sturdy.
Gilbert: You mean fat, right?
Max: HEY! YOU CHEEKY LITTLE SHIT! NOW HURRY UP AND TAKE ME DOWN.
Gilbert begins to laugh and grabs a nearby crab. He throws it at Max. Max doesn’t know what to do about this and does his best to catch the crab. He manages to catch it thankfully but in the process, Max falls over. Gilbert continues to laugh and Max even has to concede.
Gilbert: Haha! I got you Max! I got you! I win.
Max: Congratulations man. I didn’t expect that from you.
Max stands up and storms down the beach.
Gilbert: Where are you going, Max?
Max: Going to find more crabs! I have an idea for our match!
Gilbert: I’m not sure that you can weaponize crabs for the match, Max!
Max: Why? You did!
Gilbert: Yeah, I - Oh jibblies, he’s gone. Oh well.
The camera leaves Gilbert and we go and catch up to Max who manages to find quite a few crabs to his amazement. He talks to the camera while he shoves as many as he can into his pockets.
Max: You know what boys? You wanna get sick, let’s get sick. You see these babies?
Max shows two crabs up to the camera.
Max: I’m going to grab as many of these little fuckers as I can and I’m bringing them to Outsiders. These little bastards are going to help the kid and me retain our tag team titles. I’ll make sure they grab your nuts. I’ll make sure they pull out your goddamn eyes. Hell, I might just scoop out your eyes anyway with a rusty fuckin’ spoon. Anythin’ goes in our match boys and I’m just trying to make sure that the match lives up to that fucking name. You guys are done and we haven’t even started yet.
—---------------------------------------------------
Max smiles as he continues to stuff crabs into his pockets. Gilbert catches up to Max and Max tries to shove some more crabs into Gilbert’s pockets. The pincers pinch Gilbert’s legs .
Gilbert: Ow! M…..Max I don’t think Lord Allton will appreciate this.
Max: Why?
Gilbert: You know he loves animals!
Max: Oh. Yeah. Well he’ll make an exception.
======================================================================
Word Count: 1,500.
Max: Hey fuckwit!
Casey: Who the fuck are - how did you get in here? This is a private party!
Max: I do whatever the fuck I want buddy. Whenever the fuck I want to do it. You think that’s funny, what happened to Gilbert?
Casey: Actually, yeah. Wait. You know Gilbert?
Max: Yes… he’s my tag team partner. Now shut the fuck up and fight me!
Casey: Fight you? I don’t even know you, you psychopath!
Without warning, from nowhere, Max smacks the former jock in the face. Casey stumbles back and as Gilbert’s former schoolmates start to surround Max, Gilbert and his mom emerge from the bathroom. Gilbert is obviously in shock. He cannot believe that his wrestling tag team partner is here, starting a fight. Well, the ‘starting a fight’ bit he can understand, of course - it is of course Max Rotten - the living personification of fighting in human form. But here at his high school reunion? That was something that Gilbert never expected!
Gilbert: Max?! What the jibblies are you doing here?!
Max: Hey buddy!
Max shouts over at his tag team partner as someone tries to attack him from behind, only to be met with a knee to the gut.
Max: I just thought that you might need some, uh… support so I decided to follow you and keep an eye on you and by the looks of it, it’s a good job that I did.
Gilbert: Well look, Max… I must admit I’m glad you’re here. But I think it’s time that we got out of here.
Max grabs a nearby chair and carries on the brawl. Someone gets smacked in the back with a chair, while someone else gets sent through the punchbowl table before finally Max knocks someone out with the punchbowl ladle. Max then walks over to Gilbert and his mom while the three of them look at the carnage around them.
Max: Aw but c’mon buddy. The fighting is just getting good, you know?
Gilbert: MAX! L-look a-at me! I’m covered in red gunge thanks to these idiots! Can we go home, PUH-LEEZE? Save the fighting for the tag team title match!
Max sighs. He doesn’t like to see Gilbert upset deep down. In reality he does have sort of a soft spot for the little guy, even if he will never admit it. But the fact that Max is here to save his partner’s ass, that’s got to count for something, doesn’t it? Deep down Max hopes so.
Max: OK Gilbert. OK. You win, buddy. I like you, I mean, not very much. But I like you.
Gilbert smiles.
Gilbert: th-Thank-you for listening to me for once, Max.
The trio walk out of the gymnasium, Max with his arm around Gilbert’s shoulders as the screen fades out.
=====================================================================
So a ‘Tag Team I Quit’ match eh boys? Well now doesn’t that sound just up my alley? Look, I never once envisioned becoming tag team partners with Gilbert the walking pipecleaner, much less a champion with him! But here we are, defending the belts against two alleged ‘ no good bastards’. You boys think that because you talk a big game and Nickleman the fact that you like pain that you have an advantage in this match but you really don’t. Charlie, I’m just like you man. An asshole that likes violence that lives for violence that GETS OFF on violence. As Dr. Evil once said to Austin Powers: ‘We’re not so different you and I….’
But of course there is one way in which we are different to you two: We’re the champs. And by the time the match is over, the kid and I are gonna continue being the tag team champions - you know why?! I’ve never said ‘I Quit’ in my life! Not when it comes to the fight. El Knuckle, and Charlie…you’re going to have to bury me and the kid in the ground to get us to lose our titles and hell, even then…. I’ll come back as a fucking ghost and I still won’t say the words ‘I Quit’. We worked hard to win those tag team titles and I’ll be damned if we lose them to a couple of washed up, fake ‘bastards’ like you two.
El Knuckle… you said ages ago that I was ‘trying to sound like a badass’ and that I really wasn’t. Well I don’t need to prove anything to you with fucking words do I jackass? In this business you know as well as I do that it’s actions that fucking matter. Only actions and always the actions! So let’s get this match underway and then we’ll see who the real ‘badass’ is! The phrase ‘you’ve never faced anything like me before’ gets thrown around so much in our business that at this rate, it’s essentially lost all meaning, so I won’t bore you by saying it… But Charlie. I will say this: Out of the two of us, let’s see who the real psychopath is eh?
I’ll be bringing my favourite pair of glass covered gloves, you just bring your faces so I can carve them up like a turkey dinner, yeah? In all my time of being on the Outsiders roster, it’s YOU Charlie who I’ve wanted to face the most. Consider it a compliment, Charlie, that it’s you whose face I want to carve the most. I’m just a younger version of you, bro. I’ll carve your faces up, I’ll smack you over the head with anything that isn’t nailed down and then me and the kid are retaining our tag team titles.
You can’t stop us. You won’t stop us. The bastards may have been around for a long time so you might think that the experience that is on your side is going to give you the edge. It won’t. Because I simply do not care what I have to do to win. I’d fuck your mothers if it came down to winning the match! So, just how far are the bastards willing to go to win, boys? Because I guarantee that Max Rotten is willing to go further! Just some food for thought. We’ll see you at the show.
======================================================================
We fade back in and it’s the next day. Gilbert has now cleaned up completely and Gilbert and Max are on the beach, training for the upcoming match. Max and Gilbert lock up with Max taking the obvious advantage.
Max: Right. What do you do here, kid?
Gilbert goes for the trip but Max is too sturdy.
Max: Good but think outside the box, kid. I’m too sturdy.
Gilbert: You mean fat, right?
Max: HEY! YOU CHEEKY LITTLE SHIT! NOW HURRY UP AND TAKE ME DOWN.
Gilbert begins to laugh and grabs a nearby crab. He throws it at Max. Max doesn’t know what to do about this and does his best to catch the crab. He manages to catch it thankfully but in the process, Max falls over. Gilbert continues to laugh and Max even has to concede.
Gilbert: Haha! I got you Max! I got you! I win.
Max: Congratulations man. I didn’t expect that from you.
Max stands up and storms down the beach.
Gilbert: Where are you going, Max?
Max: Going to find more crabs! I have an idea for our match!
Gilbert: I’m not sure that you can weaponize crabs for the match, Max!
Max: Why? You did!
Gilbert: Yeah, I - Oh jibblies, he’s gone. Oh well.
The camera leaves Gilbert and we go and catch up to Max who manages to find quite a few crabs to his amazement. He talks to the camera while he shoves as many as he can into his pockets.
Max: You know what boys? You wanna get sick, let’s get sick. You see these babies?
Max shows two crabs up to the camera.
Max: I’m going to grab as many of these little fuckers as I can and I’m bringing them to Outsiders. These little bastards are going to help the kid and me retain our tag team titles. I’ll make sure they grab your nuts. I’ll make sure they pull out your goddamn eyes. Hell, I might just scoop out your eyes anyway with a rusty fuckin’ spoon. Anythin’ goes in our match boys and I’m just trying to make sure that the match lives up to that fucking name. You guys are done and we haven’t even started yet.
—---------------------------------------------------
Max smiles as he continues to stuff crabs into his pockets. Gilbert catches up to Max and Max tries to shove some more crabs into Gilbert’s pockets. The pincers pinch Gilbert’s legs .
Gilbert: Ow! M…..Max I don’t think Lord Allton will appreciate this.
Max: Why?
Gilbert: You know he loves animals!
Max: Oh. Yeah. Well he’ll make an exception.
======================================================================
Word Count: 1,500.