Post by Fanny on Aug 9, 2023 18:49:43 GMT -5
Mrs. Andersons Kindergarten Class
9am
A class of young children sit on the carpeted floor looking up at their teacher Mrs. Anderson. Mrs. Anderson is an elderly woman with a big waist but all smiles on her face as she addresses her students.
Mrs. Anderson: Ok children. Open your eyes and ears for our special visitor today. She is actually a pro wrestler in OCW…
Boy: Online Championship Wrestling?
Mrs. Anderson: Nope.
Girl: Outcast Championship Wrestling?
Mrs. Anderson: Wrong again…
Boy: Um, Ogres Championship Wrestling???
Mrs. Anderson: No. No not that place. No one is to ever bring up those Ogres during day time. You know the rules. Remember? We don’t need them coming back to take and eat one of you again? We already lost too many students to the ogres. Never again…
The children hug with another scared of the outside as Mrs. Anderson looks anxiously at the students and the window where a large growl is heard within the nearby trees.
Mrs Anderson: No. Our guest is from the OUTISDERS Championship Wrestling…
The students look up with disappointed looks.
Mrs Anderson: I know. I know. We tried to get someone from Online or Outcast. Or even tried TRIAD. But they told me to go ‘F’ myself. Speaking of the letter ‘F’. That’s the letter our guests name today starts with. Please welcome… FANNY!
Fanny staggers out of the broom closet knocking over a few crushed beer tall boy cans. She gives the kids a devil’s rock and roll hand sign before she…
BLAUGHHHHHHHH
…vomits on Mrs. Andersons desk. The kids hug each other again in fear as Fanny attempts to clean up the puke with her outer shirt.
Fanny: Don’t worry… that wasn’t food. There’s NO need to worry.
Boy: Not food? What is it then? It looks pretty thick and chunky to me…
Fanny laughs.
Fanny: Listen, kid. Sometimes an adult puts other things into their bodies that are more than just foods.
Girl: Example?
Fanny thinks for a second as she chugs another beer.
Fanny: Good question. Where to begin… like when a woman and a man love one another… or SHE loves him but HE loves some gas sniffing slut with a weak bladder. But when this woman sees the man she loves she does things to his pecker and out comes the love goop and a true woman accepts into her mouthy-mouth and into her belly and eventyally that’s how babies are born…
Girl: No. That’s incorrect Miss Fanny.
Boy: Semen must be put into the vagina for childbirth, right Mrs. Anderson?
Fanny looks confused. She gets angry as she addresses the kids.
Fanny: What is this grade 12 biology class? Who do I look like to you, Dr. Fanny McSmartson? I know how babies are made, kids. I was just trying to explain where all this thick goo came from…
Girl: You never really explained that…
Fanny: You see when a woman loves a man she does thing to his pecker ya see?
Mrs Anderson: Ok. Ok. Moving on, Fanny. Don’t you want to tell the children about your match coming up at the Outsiders show? Does it involve a turnip or something?
Mrs. Anderson hands Fanny a turnip. Fanny begins moving the turnip like a basketball through her arms and legs. Fanny winks at the kids as if she is impressing them.
Fanny: Thank you Mrs. Anderson. Yes, this is my turnip. And at Outsiders Dystopia 32 my winning streak will continue when i defeat the man called Zeus in a turnip on a pole match. What exactly is a turnip on a pole match you may ask?
Boy: Nah. We didnt ask.
Girl: Yeah. It’s pretty obvious what it is. The pole holds a turnip and the first person to grab and use it wins, right?
Fanny: Oh. Is that it? That’s way less complicated than my idea of the match.
Mrs. Anderson: What was your idea, Fanny?
Fanny: Well you see Mrs. Anderson when a woman loves a man she does sexy things to his pole and…
Mrs. Anderson: Nevermind.
Fanny: FINE! But if you do kids end up watching Outsiders you will see me, Fanny will defeat Zeus in this turnip-pole match. Just like I did at MEAT GAMES with my team and Team Vicky LOST in the filth. And so on. I will be the newest Streaming Service Champion. You watch and see. I got this. I got thissss…
Fanny begins dry heaving over the puke covered desk again. Mrs Anderson holds out a trah pale but Fanny waves it away as if shes fine. And she is. She looks over the desk and sees Mrs. ANderson’s apple covered in vomit.
Fanny: Can I have that apple?
Mrs. Anderson: Um? Ok. Um. Let’s thank Fanny for coming in today, children. Children? Where is Tommy?
Fanny, eating the apple, points out the window at the trees.
Fanny: I think I saw a little boy wandering into trees.
Mrs. Anderson mouths the word ‘ogre’ quietly to herself and rushes to her bell and rings it. The children hide under their desks as Fanny looks on confused. Mrs. Anderson looks at Fanny before she hides under her own desk.
Mrs. Anderson: The ogres are back. And they are hungry…
Fanny: Ogres? What are you people, a bunch of whackadoos?
RAWWWRRRRRRR!
Fanny looks scared as she hides under the desk with Mrs. Anderson.
Mrs. Anderson: Weird huh? It's like none of this makes any sense, right?
Fanny laughs eating the apple core.
Fanny: Not as weird as it's gonna get. Open your mouth lady, let's make some babies.
Fanny goes to make out with the elderly woman but Mrs. Anderson stops her and tells her to shush as the roaring continues in the trees.
End?
9am
A class of young children sit on the carpeted floor looking up at their teacher Mrs. Anderson. Mrs. Anderson is an elderly woman with a big waist but all smiles on her face as she addresses her students.
Mrs. Anderson: Ok children. Open your eyes and ears for our special visitor today. She is actually a pro wrestler in OCW…
Boy: Online Championship Wrestling?
Mrs. Anderson: Nope.
Girl: Outcast Championship Wrestling?
Mrs. Anderson: Wrong again…
Boy: Um, Ogres Championship Wrestling???
Mrs. Anderson: No. No not that place. No one is to ever bring up those Ogres during day time. You know the rules. Remember? We don’t need them coming back to take and eat one of you again? We already lost too many students to the ogres. Never again…
The children hug with another scared of the outside as Mrs. Anderson looks anxiously at the students and the window where a large growl is heard within the nearby trees.
Mrs Anderson: No. Our guest is from the OUTISDERS Championship Wrestling…
The students look up with disappointed looks.
Mrs Anderson: I know. I know. We tried to get someone from Online or Outcast. Or even tried TRIAD. But they told me to go ‘F’ myself. Speaking of the letter ‘F’. That’s the letter our guests name today starts with. Please welcome… FANNY!
Fanny staggers out of the broom closet knocking over a few crushed beer tall boy cans. She gives the kids a devil’s rock and roll hand sign before she…
BLAUGHHHHHHHH
…vomits on Mrs. Andersons desk. The kids hug each other again in fear as Fanny attempts to clean up the puke with her outer shirt.
Fanny: Don’t worry… that wasn’t food. There’s NO need to worry.
Boy: Not food? What is it then? It looks pretty thick and chunky to me…
Fanny laughs.
Fanny: Listen, kid. Sometimes an adult puts other things into their bodies that are more than just foods.
Girl: Example?
Fanny thinks for a second as she chugs another beer.
Fanny: Good question. Where to begin… like when a woman and a man love one another… or SHE loves him but HE loves some gas sniffing slut with a weak bladder. But when this woman sees the man she loves she does things to his pecker and out comes the love goop and a true woman accepts into her mouthy-mouth and into her belly and eventyally that’s how babies are born…
Girl: No. That’s incorrect Miss Fanny.
Boy: Semen must be put into the vagina for childbirth, right Mrs. Anderson?
Fanny looks confused. She gets angry as she addresses the kids.
Fanny: What is this grade 12 biology class? Who do I look like to you, Dr. Fanny McSmartson? I know how babies are made, kids. I was just trying to explain where all this thick goo came from…
Girl: You never really explained that…
Fanny: You see when a woman loves a man she does thing to his pecker ya see?
Mrs Anderson: Ok. Ok. Moving on, Fanny. Don’t you want to tell the children about your match coming up at the Outsiders show? Does it involve a turnip or something?
Mrs. Anderson hands Fanny a turnip. Fanny begins moving the turnip like a basketball through her arms and legs. Fanny winks at the kids as if she is impressing them.
Fanny: Thank you Mrs. Anderson. Yes, this is my turnip. And at Outsiders Dystopia 32 my winning streak will continue when i defeat the man called Zeus in a turnip on a pole match. What exactly is a turnip on a pole match you may ask?
Boy: Nah. We didnt ask.
Girl: Yeah. It’s pretty obvious what it is. The pole holds a turnip and the first person to grab and use it wins, right?
Fanny: Oh. Is that it? That’s way less complicated than my idea of the match.
Mrs. Anderson: What was your idea, Fanny?
Fanny: Well you see Mrs. Anderson when a woman loves a man she does sexy things to his pole and…
Mrs. Anderson: Nevermind.
Fanny: FINE! But if you do kids end up watching Outsiders you will see me, Fanny will defeat Zeus in this turnip-pole match. Just like I did at MEAT GAMES with my team and Team Vicky LOST in the filth. And so on. I will be the newest Streaming Service Champion. You watch and see. I got this. I got thissss…
Fanny begins dry heaving over the puke covered desk again. Mrs Anderson holds out a trah pale but Fanny waves it away as if shes fine. And she is. She looks over the desk and sees Mrs. ANderson’s apple covered in vomit.
Fanny: Can I have that apple?
Mrs. Anderson: Um? Ok. Um. Let’s thank Fanny for coming in today, children. Children? Where is Tommy?
Fanny, eating the apple, points out the window at the trees.
Fanny: I think I saw a little boy wandering into trees.
Mrs. Anderson mouths the word ‘ogre’ quietly to herself and rushes to her bell and rings it. The children hide under their desks as Fanny looks on confused. Mrs. Anderson looks at Fanny before she hides under her own desk.
Mrs. Anderson: The ogres are back. And they are hungry…
Fanny: Ogres? What are you people, a bunch of whackadoos?
RAWWWRRRRRRR!
Fanny looks scared as she hides under the desk with Mrs. Anderson.
Mrs. Anderson: Weird huh? It's like none of this makes any sense, right?
Fanny laughs eating the apple core.
Fanny: Not as weird as it's gonna get. Open your mouth lady, let's make some babies.
Fanny goes to make out with the elderly woman but Mrs. Anderson stops her and tells her to shush as the roaring continues in the trees.
End?