Time for an Influential Wedding! (Craze Title #1)

[Influence 2: Electric Boogaloo]

Before the camera fades from black, there’s that song that can only mean one possible thing in the world… Someone's getting married and the bride is about to make her way down the aisle. It’s time for a wedding, folks!!

The man behind the piano continues to play with his organ, also the song continues to play. Get it? Oh stop being so pretentious, if you don’t like that one you’re not going to enjoy the next over eight thousand words. The double wooden doors swing open to introduce the bride, but it’s not to a large Gothic style church rather it is a small gathering of people in some courthouse. Regardless of the venue, the older bride, all dressed in white, has a smile on her face and begins her slow stride down the aisle. And just who is getting married to this woman on this very special day? Why it’s none other than Christopher Wrigley. Holy shit, Wrigley’s getting married? Yep. As the song continues to play the bride down the aisle there stands Wrigley wearing a black tuxedo with a smile on his face. To his right and playing the role of best man is Delia Black, who is wearing a tuxedo jacket over a black and red dress and sure enough, to his left the bride’s maid of honor is Claudia Frost. Claudia is wearing a yellow dress and holds a bouquet of roses in her hands and a confused look on her face.

Without making a scene, Claudia gets the attention of Delia.

FROST: Deets, is this really happening right now?

Delia looks over towards her tag team partner.

BLACK: Yeah, Wrigley is really about to marry your mom Claudia. Which I guess if you think about it makes Legal Daddy Wrigley now your legally Legal Daddy Wrigley.

The bride, who is Claudia’s mother, continues to make her way towards the altar as the camera pans directly in on Claudia’s face which is slowly computing all the possibilities. The color in Claudia begins to drain and she slowly grows a white shade of pale.

FROST: This has gone so past fucked up.

And roll the show logo.

72 Hours Earlier.

Yeah, we’re doing another time traveling promo. It seems someone’s been watching too many Christopher Nolan movies again, buckle up kids.

“DING!”

That’s not ding from a wrestling ring bell, no that’s the ding from an elevator door since it has arrived at the proper floor and the doors pop open as the arrow above lights up. Standing there is Delia Black and Christopher Wrigley, the two of which are already in the middle of a conversation.

BLACK: That’s crazy, people pay that much extra for that?

Wrigley turns towards Delia and nods.

WRIGLEY: You’d be shocked who’s into that sort of thing. I’ve had some clients sue people because they felt like the person didn’t produce enough for what they paid for. Hell, from Donald Trump to Tiger Woods, it’s like a worldwide phenomenon.

Delia shakes her head as she drinks from a straw, the two slowly begin to walk down the hallway.

BLACK: And you’re sure it’s not called a Golden Dragon?

WRIGLEY: One hundred percent.

For those of you who watched Piledriver and skipped past all the boring non-Influence parts, you already know exactly what the two of them are talking about. For the rest of you? Go back and figure it out. Delia takes another long sip from her overly large drink to the point where it begins to make noise.

BLACK: That was so good, you know I could produce enough pi--

Just then she stops what she’s about to say and slaps Wrigley across the front of his chest making sure that he stops dead in his tracks too. Her head tilts up into the air and she begins to sniff which confuses Wrigley even more. After a couple moments of taking an air sample Delia looks around from side to side.

BLACK: Something’s wrong. Something’s really wrong here. I sense something, a presence I have not felt since… No, that can’t be right. We have to hurry.

Delia begins to walk faster towards her apartment door as Wrigley starts to follow, still in complete confusion as to what exactly is going on. Delia fumbles her keys from her pocket as she approaches the door.

WRIGLEY: You’ve really got to pee.

But Wrigley’s not right this time, in fact just as soon as Delia is about to lift her key up and get it into the lock the door swings open and standing there is the other half of the Influence, Claudia Frost. Claudia has a distressed look on her face, the look causes Delia to slowly back off as it appears that she might have known something.

FROST: Deets, she’s here and she brought luggage.

BLACK: Oh my God.

Claudia nods slowly.

WRIGLEY: What the hell is going on here?

BLACK: Claudia’s mother is here.

From the back of the apartment there is a loud voice that yells towards Claudia asking who is that at the front door. Claudia’s eyes widen to the size of two full moons as the color drains from her face, in her best Gandalf the Grey voice she utters towards Wrigley and Delia.

FROST: Fly you fools!

Claudia shuts the door or is dragged back into the apartment, neither of which is very clear. However, Delia stands there with a tear in her eye as she drops her drink pushing Wrigley in the process as the two begin to run back towards the elevator.

A few hours later.

Wrigley sits across from Delia on a concrete bench, Wrigley is now the one enjoying himself eating a rather large hamburger and with an even larger drink in front of him. As he bites down he offers up a half mumbled question.

WRIGLEY: How bad could she possibly be?

Delia still hasn’t recovered from earlier. She impatiently stares at her phone waiting for her ride or die to finally respond to the face screaming in fear emoji that she sent over an hour ago. She refreshes the screen over and over again until finally she breaks her eyes long enough to answer Wrigley’s question.

BLACK: You don’t understand, Claudia’s mother is a monster. No, she’s worse, she’s on another level of evil that monsters could only possibly aspire to ever be like. This is the greatest threat to the Influence that we’ve ever faced, this might possibly be the end of the world as we know it.

She is dead serious. No hint of sarcasm, no humor, nothing. The moment she says it out loud is the moment that it becomes true to the world. Her eyes lock with that of Wrigley’s as he munches away at his burger. But not for that long, she’s back to the phone.

WRIGLEY: I think you’re being a little melodramatic right now. Damn, this is a tasty burger.

Wrigley bites down on another bite of that delicious burger. Wait, is that a Kahuna burger? Delia inches about as close as possible to Wrigley on the concrete bench as she lowers the phone and grabs his full attention. She speaks completely dead-pan.

BLACK: Picture yourself sitting in a room with all of your ex-wives, Wrigley. All four of them standing around you loo--

WRIGLEY: Five, actually.

BLACK: All five of them standing around you looking down and belittling everything about your life. Each time one of them opens up their mouth to spit another insult from their forked tongues another one jabs you in the sides with a sharp needle. On top of this, you cannot run away, you cannot shut your ears or close your eyes… you are one hundred percent stuck there for the rest of eternity.

Wrigley stops chewing the burger and just sits there, Delia goes back to check her phone. She waves her hand towards Wrigley.

BLACK: Oh yeah, you’re naked too. Work that into the picture.

WRIGLEY: Damn, she’s that bad?

BLACK: That’s what Claudia is going through right now.

Wrigley blinks and shoves his glasses back up across the bridge of his nose. It takes a moment or two for him to recalibrate the entire situation, but very soon that brain of his begins to start churning.

WRIGLEY: Wow, this really could be the end of the Influence. In the time that I’ve known the both of you, you two have never been apart for this long… Claudia’s mother could be a big enough distraction that both of you end up losing at Wheel of Misfortune.

And if both of you lose, that means neither of you will be holding championship titles. And if neither of you are holding championship titles that means that I am no longer Christopher J. Wrigley the manager of Champions! Holy shit, this REALLY COULD be the end of the world.

All Delia can do is nod as she continues to stare at her phone.

WRIGLEY: Claudia’s mother has got to be stopped no matter what. We need to find a weakness, something that could be used against her.

BLACK: Oh, she’s got none of those. I’ve tried holy water, garlic, you name it.

WRIGLEY: Everyone’s got a weakness. You’ve just got to figure out what it is and the only way to do that is…

Wrigley trails off as his thoughts continue to race at about a billion miles per hour. Before he says another word or finishes his sentence at least, he wipes away at the corners of his mouth and leaves in a hurry. Delia isn’t paying that much attention to him as she just looks at her phone, eventually she wonders what Wrigley was trying to say.

BLACK: The only way to do that is… what?

That’s when she looks up from her screen and is confused by the fact that Wrigley is gone. She shouts into the air to make sure things are okay as she grabs a couple of his fries.

BLACK: I know I’m not supposed to ever touch your French fries, but I don’t see you around. Are you going to finish your burger, how about your drink?

Am I just sitting here talking to myself again?

She slowly turns towards the camera. Has this all been an elaborate set-up for Delia to just talk to the camera at this point? You betcha, let’s shoot motherfuckers.

BLACK: No head shots, huh? You know the moment the wheel spun and landed on that consequence I panicked a little bit. It felt like my Craze championship had already left my grasp and I was left there with just that empty feeling again. Because what is the point of any of this if you can’t just go around kicking people in the head? Seriously, I was put on the Earth to kick people in the head. That’s what I do, and that’s what I do well.

Thankfully, Claudia calmed me down enough backstage to get me from jumping off something very high onto something very sharp. And in that clarity I remembered something that I totally had forgotten about when that wheel stopped spinning. I remembered I was facing Axis for my Craze title belt. And I know I’m supposed to say this, but who the hell is Axis? Even Wrigley didn’t have any idea about who you were. Have you even won a match in OCW this year? What puts you into contendership for my title that I worked my ass off winning? Did you see how bad shape I was in after that match against Brooke? There, I said it.

We finally figured out who you were when you showed up and spun the wheel yourself…. congrats on your thirty seconds of television time, by the way. So that leads me back to the whole no head shots thing. Let’s face it Axis, you haven’t won anything, and now you’ve got a chance at beating me for the Craze title because ninety percent of my offense is gone. I have never seen someone do so little and be rewarded for it in my life, and honestly…

Delia takes a long sip from Wrigley’s drink.

BLACK: Honestly, I’m impressed. If I knew that showing up for thirty seconds would have gotten me a title shot in this company? Damn, I would have done just that. Sign me up for that plan moving forward, yes please! You might just be the smartest person on the roster, Axis. It’s just a shame you’re going to be given a concussion from me kicking you in the he-- no wait, dammit.

I’m going to have to figure something out.

But first, I’ve really got to pee.

With that, Delia stands up and charges off towards the nearest bathroom or paying customer.

Fade to black.