Post by Plethora the Perilous on Mar 25, 2023 19:55:53 GMT -5
The screen flashed from darkness to a moment of static to the image of Alice Knight sleeping. The camera hovers over her bed as she lays on her back, her eyes closed. Somewhere nearby, but not in the room, a loud booming sound can be heard. It intensifies and then the sound of a tolling bell is heard - a massive bell, somewhere nearby. Alice’s eyes open and she looks around, realizing that she’s at a guest suite at the Second Chance Ranch, Bifford’s cult. She pulls the covers off and stands up, walking to the window in her pajamas, which are printed with Second Chance Ranch logos all over them. She opens the curtains and looks out, seeing dozens of people heading out to work - all of them dressed like Plethora the Perilous. Her mouth opened slightly, unable to believe all that she had seen in the past 24 hours. She closed the curtains and scurried back to bed, climbing in and pulling the covers over herself. The scene fades to darkness.
Narrator: When presented with something we aren’t accustomed to, we can often hide.. trying to avoid those places where we don’t hold Influence.
The scene brightens and we see Bifford in his luxurious quarters, which the viewer assumes is on the second floor of the Town Hall we saw last episode. He’s not wearing the cloak. Hell, he’s not wearing much other than a pair of lounge pants. He hears the same tolling bell as Alice and walks to his window. He pulls it open and sees the many versions of Plethora - some in black, some in red, some in green, heading to work. He doesn’t look on in horror like Alice did. He smiles as the scene fades to darkness again.
Narrator: Everyone is looking for a second chance..
The scene brightens to see Bifford, with the Plethora cloak on, though the hood down, standing in the front office of the Town Hall of the Second Chance Ranch. The front door opens and Alice walks in, escorted by two people in green Plethora robes. Alice isn’t dressed as Plethora, she looks quite out of place in her normal clothes.
Bifford: Alice! How did you sleep?
Alice: Well.. well.
Bifford (laughing): Glad to hear! We have a brunch in your honor.. I hope the bell didn’t wake up you this morning, but we needed to get people awake early to prepare the feast!
Alice’s eyes perk up when she hears feast.
Bifford: Of course, we are on a limited budget.. but it shall be a feast nonetheless.
Alice’s eyes lose a bit of their perk with the talk of budgets.
Office Worker: Mr. Benson, we have a phone call from some of the guys working outside the compound.. they say there are some.. strange people out there. Watching.. one of them used an outhouse and they say it’s a terrible mess.
Bifford: Tell the guys to make sure to lock and secure that outhouse and preserve it exactly as it is.. You never know when I’m going to pin Pike and he will need to come join the Second Chance Ranch. I’ll make sure he cleans it up, since he needed the help of Vodka and Matt Meyhu to beat me in the Illuminatus.
Alice: Uh.. Bifford.. we have a tag team match this weekend.
Suddenly turning, Bifford nods as though drawn out of a trance. He turns to face the camera directly.
Bifford: Oh yeah.. tag team wrestling.. well in the Illuminatus both Alice and my new friend Pixie Sloane were both pinned by Claudia Frost - this weekend we get our revenge. Well, not me.. I made it to Tier 7 with ease.. but Claudia and Delia are no slouches.. I hear they have a maneuver they like to do called the Murder Sequence - well guess what, girls? I know all about murder sequences..
The front door swings open and a person wearing a red Plethora robe walks in.
Worker: The brunch is ready..
The scene fades to darkness and when it lightens up again, there are about 60 people gathered in a dining hall. There are about 10 tables set up for 6 people each. Alice is seated at the table with Bifford (who still hasn’t put on his hood) and 4 other people in Plethora robes. Everyone is sitting in total silence and it seems awkward as hell. Bifford stands up.
Bifford: Now we want to welcome Alice here to the Second Chance Ranch.. we want her to know that she is always welcome here.. you are all welcome here. And I would like to make a special invitation to Delia Black and Claudia Frost - if after you lose this weekend, you want a second chance - you’re welcome to move here. And how do we know that they will lose? Well, they lost to the Sons of Krazie.. and do you know who is in the Sons of Krazie? Duce Jones.
The room erupts into laughter.
Bifford: How many times have I pinned Duce Jones?
Everyone: 5 times!
Bifford: So there is no danger for Bifford and Alice this weekend. Just as I always end every match with Duce Jones the same way: Biff End and a pinfall, so too we will end the match this weekend! I will piledrive every woman in the ring!
Everyone stays still awkwardly, looking toward Alice.
Bifford: Except Alice! Gotta love that Alice! Now enjoy your food!
A few other Plethora-cloaked wearing people come out of a kitchen with big plates of scrambled eggs and Saltine crackers. They begin passing them out to the tables. Bifford walks over to where a smaller table is set up.. the unsettling image of children in Plethora robes likely makes the home viewer uncomfortable: people brought their children into this environment. Bifford stands over the now-eating children, but looks into the camera.
Bifford: Maybe one day Delia and Claudia will grow up and they can join the adult-table.. but for now they’re stuck here at the Kid’s Table with their video games and their silly road trips.. Ms. Black, Ms. Frost - do know that you are welcome to come here and put your lives back together after your losses this weekend.
Bifford smiles and heads back to his table where Alice is apprehensively eating the rather humble-brunch served. Bifford has a seat next to her and smiles, pulling his hood up and disappearing into the sea of Plethoras. Alice looks on uneasily as the scene fades to darkness.
SEVERAL HOURS LATER, PARKERSBURG, WEST VIRGINIA
A black SUV pulls up in front of the Sheriff Station in Parkersburg. The back doors open and three Plethoras and Alice emerge from the SUV and head inside. Bifford immediately pulls his hood back, obviously blowing his cover. A shifty looking sheriff walks up to Bifford in the main lobby and shakes his hand.
Sheriff: Mr. Benson, I have to say I’ve been a fan for a long time.
Bifford: Good to meet you, Sheriff.. I was hoping we could talk some business.. these are my associates Kenny, Earl, and Alice..
Alice looks at the other two Plethoras, realizing that they’re Earl the Popcorn Salesman and Kenny the Intern. She then looks back at the sheriff and smiles. Earl and Kenny take their hoods down and seem relieved to be able to feel light on their faces again.
Sheriff: Nah, I just invited you here for cover, Mr. Benson.. you gotta talk to the real man in charge around here. Come in here..
The Sheriff leads Bifford and his team into another room where there is a man in a suit. The man’s face just looks like a villain. He has a villain mustache.
Tom: My name is Tom Joyce and I’m the Mayor of Parkersburg. Mr. Benson, it’s an honor..
The villainous-looking mayor shakes Bifford’s hand.
Tom: I’m not a fan of your wrestling, Mr. Benson.. I miss those chicken sandwiches.
Alice’s face turns pale white. So does Kenny’s.
Bifford: Oh really? Well, I can’t say I’m a fan currently..
Tom: Oh no, I’m not talking about the actual chicken sandwiches the few remaining restaurants sell, Mr. Benson. I’m talking about THE classic sandwiches.. the original recipe. The stuff you can’t get anymore.
Bifford: Oh really? Well, I can’t say we have a readily available supply of such.. meat.
Tom: Well, it seems like to me that when you ran your chicken sandwich restaurants, usually those cities saw a decrease in homeless population.. A huge decrease. It pretty much eliminated the homeless problem..
Bifford: You can’t have enough homeless people in Parkersburg, West Virginia.. not even to sustain a single restaurant.
Tom: No, we don’t.. but other cities would probably be willing to bus them in and pay me for taking them. And then your chicken sandwich restaurant could exist here in Parkersburg. Forever. I could keep getting my fix.
Bifford: And you’ll keep the federal government away from my sovereign state? The Second Chance Ranch must run without their involvement.
Tom: Oh I will keep the feds out.. and I’ll keep you stocked with fresh meat and I might even be able to share some of the funds those cities kick in.
The two men laugh and shake hands. Alice looks like she’s about to faint. “I need to find a bathroom,” she half-shouts out and then dashes out the door into the lobby. She sees the women’s room and runs in. She looks herself in the mirror, her eyes panicked, and begins the monologue:
"A new Bifford Chicken Sandwich place? Sounds horrifying.. but he’s a good guy. Imagine if I could sell him on a deal with Owl Is Night mustard as his exclusive and ONLY condiment served at his chicken joint. That be big for the both of us. We could influence as generation on how chicken and chunky mustard just go together like peas and turnips.
Influence... Dammitl. Ugh, our opponents. The damn Influence. Makes me wonder though. If they can do so well in singles matches. As a unit, can they really take down the Beauty and the Biff'? I want to say they don't deserve a OCW Tag Team championship match. But of course they do. The division is as dead as John Travolta's hair line. Dead as Bruce Willis' brain. Dead as making fun of 80s actors who were in Pulp Fiction with no hair or brains. They have the tag team experience to take down the two legends in Biff' and I. While Biff' and I still can't hardly get a long while Delia and Claudia probably finish each others sentences. Once upon a time Biff' and I couldn't even finish a word without bickering at one another.
But things have changed. Winning the Tag Team titles with Bifford changed my opinion on the big man. And I may even have earned some respect from him too. But is it enough to retain our tag team titles at You Can Do It? And me denying to be a part of the second chance ranch. Will that spoil our team? Will that end the friendship? End the Beauty and the Biff' forever?
As it says in another cult like book, the Bible: "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Tippecanoe and Tyler too. Make a Little birdhouse in your soul." - Elastics 4.9er.
I like to think that's true. Win or lose on Sunday. The Beauty and the Biff's friendship will be everlasting. I wouldn't bet against it.”
She splashed water on her face and then looked herself in the eyes in the mirror again. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she headed back into the lobby, where three men in Plethora Cloaks were waiting for her, their hoods all up. Their identities masked. Alice walked up to them and the four of them walked out into the sun, up to the SUV, and climbed in. The vehicle began driving and Bifford pulled the hood over his head. He looked over at Alice.
Bifford: You need to learn to do the piledriver..
Alice: The Biff End?
Bifford: It’s the way we end matches, dear. After we’re done with the Influence, we’re going to go through every tag team OCW has to offer and all sorts of new tag teams we’ll find. This is our new Hall of Fame run, Alice.. and you better be ready to Biff End every challenger that comes our way. I know you feel discouraged, but you’ve gotta realize..
The scene begins fading to darkness.
Bifford: This is your second chance.